The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Keyring 3


Car key of Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)

 


Fake keys owned by Napoleon I.

 


Law enforcement officers should be aware that offenders may attempt to use this unusual weapon. This object appears to be a key but conceals a hidden blade.

 


Salvador Dali always napped with these keys in his hand.

 

 


Boyd & Paul Moore died when their father hammered keys into their heads and tried to “unlock” their thoughts.

 


One of three keys needed to open the 2nd century casket of Shah Ji Dheri. The other two keys are lost. The casket was designed to destroy itself should anyone attempt to open it by any other method.

 


Alexander the Great’s bedroom door key.

 


“Good evening. I am organising a “key club” – it seems to be the thing to do. For the uninitiated, a “key club” is one which members can enter only if they process a key. These clubs are terribly exclusive, since membership is limited to men. My club is completely different – it is for women. Inside the club is everything a woman could want… including me.”

 


Who Needs Boltcutters When You’ve Got a Blowtorch?

 


RICHARD PRINCE ‘Untitled (Key to the Second House)’, 2003. Cast brass key and plastic fob, Dimensions Variable – key: 7 x 2.5 cm (3¾ x 1 inches); fob: 7 x 5.5 cm (3¾ x 2 inches), Edition of 100, signed and numbered on separate label

 


Open every door in style—without ever misplacing your keys again. A perfectly located key pocket and heavy-duty retractable cord.

 


Old school Resident Evil keys

 


The world’s most expensive car key was unveiled at the 2015 New York Auto Show. The key had its own security detail, which makes sense given that its value is estimated at $250,000. For that price you get a key made from platinum and black onyx that is covered in 40 carats worth of diamonds.

 


Key belonging to a man who lived secretly and undetected in the wall of a family’s home for six years.

 


A key to make you larger.

 


Secret Key storage – Fake Rock

 


You basically make your smartphone the key, and assuming you keep that key in your pocket you need only reach out and touch the lock when walking up to the door to unlock it.

 


16-year-old Kayleigh-Anne Palmer was using her key to get into the house when Aston Robinson, 18, strangled her with her scarf.

 


Key to Rembrandt’s painting studio.

 


Treasure Key of Earth Essence.

 


Ring of keys as weapon.

 


Mulholland Drive Blue Box Replica, David Lynch Movie Prop 3D Printed, including Key.

 


Key found inside the leg bone of a man who died in 1943.

 





From 2010 to 2015, the artist Brent Birnbaum visited art museums around the world and collected an unusual set of souvenirs—locker keys, coat check claim tags and tokens. In exchange, he left behind jackets, bags, newspapers and other items, essentially leaving his own objects in the collection of the museums.

 


Super Megaforce Red Ranger key.

 

 


Keys to Marie Antoinette’s bathroom and toilet.

 


Oscar Pistorius’s bedside table.

 


Front door key of J.M. Barrie.

 


A man from Seattle has captured a thief on surveillance camera easily breaking into his car using a mysterious electronic device. The thief in the video is shown attempting to open the locked door, but is unable to so he takes off his backpack and holds it up to the window of the vehicle, and seconds later unlocks the car.

 


Shawish has now created the world’s most expensive USB key, which is a part of its ultra-luxurious Magic Mushroom collection. The USB flash drive has two parts: the head of the fungus has hundreds of rubies, sapphires and diamonds, and the stem is made of 18K gold. Magic Mushrooms USB flash drive offers 32 GB of memory. Magic mushrooms USB key that is crafted with white gold,emeralds and white diamonds worth $36,900.

 


Skeleton key fashioned from a spoon by a prisoner in 1894.

 


“Might he find the right key to Truth?”

 


This is 15 screen used nails from the movie Saw III. These nails were used in the Troy the Chairman Post explosion scene. One of them was used as a makeshift key to jimmy the lock on the door imprisoning the characters. This comes with a Certificate of Authenticity from Twisted Pictures.

 


What: recycled keys turned into jewelry with a word on each piece of jewelry, such as “Hope”, “Dream,” or “Create”. Prices start at $35. Who: Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, Ryan Gosling. Why: The Giving Keys exist to employ those transitioning out of homelessness. Wear a key and then gift it forward to someone when you feel they need the message more.

 


Car key of James Hetfield (Metallica).

 


A toddler has been hailed a miracle after getting a set of keys lodged in his brain. Nicholas Holderman fell on his parents’ car keys. One entered his eyelid and penetrated his brain.

 


The teenager-proof car: The MyKey limits the car’s top speed and stops teenagers turning the volume up too high on the stereo.

 


“When we arrived here we found Mr. Yancey gone to Liberty Court (16 miles off) and the keys of the house could not be obtained untill his return; Burwell had shaken open the front door so that we could enter & get into several of the rooms of the house but our chamber door in which room all the bedding was locked. Besides that, nothing either to eat or drink could be obtained, & to make the matter worse, the hard winter had killed almost everything in the garden. We satisfied our hunger with the wrecks of our travelling provisions, & whatever old Hannah & Burwell could find, after dilligently searching house & garden for several hours to collect the little that had been overlooked when the house was shut up last year, on the one hand & on the other, what the cold had spared. We were more hungry and tired than nice though, you may suppose, & at night were very contentedly about to stretch off upon the outside of the beds which had a single blanket tossed over the mattress, when the keys arrived, & in a moment we had tea & wine & comfortable beds.” — Thomas Jefferson

 


In the 17th century jailers’ keys were filled with gun powder to create a primitive gun that could be detonated if there was any trouble when opening a cell door.

 


Chris said: “I had quite a lot to drink and had no recollection of swallowing my door key. But my throat started to feel very sore and my stomach didn’t feel right so my friend took me to hospital on the bus.”

 


Cosplay Weapon Wooden Kingdom Hearts Sorami Mouse Key.

 


Master key owned by a first class steward of the Titanic, named Edmund Stone, for a series of cabins. Stone tried to escape along with the 15,000 others during the sinking. They recovered the key off his body later and returned it to his wife back in the United Kingdom. Although he died back then, the key was recovered and bought by an American collector for a little bit over $138,000 at Henry Aldridge in 2008. The key is the most expensive item of Titanic memorabilia.

 


Craig Kauffman Key, 1973
Vacuum moulded paint plexiglass

 

Old school Zelda keys.

 


This Chastity Device has a built-in lock with 2 keys. you can hand over the control to your partner. You can put the key in her hand and enhance emotion with partner ensuring your happiness and health.

 


Key that opens the front doors of The Disney Store.

 


In Carsten Höller’s silver necklace “Key to the Laboratory of Doubt”, the anamorphic key finds its actual shape only when properly mirrored in the cylinder.”

 

 


Houdini’s secret ‘escape’ key

 


The objects found on John Wilkes Booth’s person showed the amount of planning he had put into Lincoln’s murder and his escape. He used these weapons for defense, the keys to access the theater and Presidential booth, and the map and compass to navigate.

 

 


At the start of the 13-second clip the camera zooms in on a red Ferrari key which has a line of a white substance on it. Seconds later, he holds up the key to the camera for a close-up before snorting the powder off it while a pal looks on. The reality star, who has appeared in all 11 series of the hit MTV show Geordie Shore, then shudders and smiles. In the background a desk is covered in lines of white powder.

 


The main prison key of the Bastille Prison in Paris

 


This puzzle box originated in the Hakone region of Japan at the turn of the 19th century. It is known as the Himitsu-Bako, or Personal Secret Box. If opened, this puzzle box contains a good luck charm. Boxes such as these are made in various complexities, and consist of moves with a variety of twists to trick the person trying to open the box. To open this box would involve making 1500 movements in the correct series. In its 200 years of existence, no one has managed to open it.

 


Vintage giant key shaped table cigar lighter, needs flint, wick and fluid.

 


When Kim Kardashian was pregnant with her daughter North, the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star visited the “Love Locks” bridge with her mom Kris Jenner. The brunette beauty wrote a special message on her padlock and gave the key one last kiss before throwing it into the Seine River on May 21, 2013.

 


Key ring, disc has been stamped to read in my Basic 4mm font: “STAY SEXY ( in the middle ) DON’T GET MURDERED ( around the edge )”, with/without letter charm.

 


Marilyn Manson’s shoulder

 


Ingrid Bergman’s hand holding the key to the wine cellar in Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Notorious’

 


Eye in Keyhole is Irving Penn’s critique of photography’s kinship with voyeurism. Those who peer through keyholes are branded: the black, curvaceous silhouette of the keyhole is, on close inspection, reflected back on the eyeball.

 


Because of their small profile and light weight design, handcuffs have the simplest of lock mechanisms. While these locks are strong and are generally secure enough for their application, a law enforcement officer should be aware just how easy they are to open. The picture in Figure 40 shows these cuffs being shimmed open with a thin piece of steel. Over the years, bobby pins have become just about the standard tool for this operation, probably because of their presence almost everywhere including the crack in the rear seat of your patrol car. When was the last time you checked this before taking a car out? The pictures in Figures 41 and 42 show a ball point pen’s Insides and the cuffs being opened by a key fashioned from @his pen. In this particular case, the inside of the ball point :)en was transformed into a handcuff key in about five seconds with the only tool being a nail clipper. With a little nore time and effort a much better improvised key could )e made. We hope that these two simple illustrations have made he point of how important it is to keep even the simplest of raw materials away from the dexterous cuffee.

 


Tea was once so valuable it was kept in locking caddies.

 


The physical ‘key’ doesn’t start the car. Its mere proximity does. For example, you can forget the keys on a table and still start the car. You can drive all the way to work. Only when you try to start the car again will you realize that the cause has been removed. This is annoying. When you get home, you can take the keys with you without turning off the car, and it can slowly fill your house with carbon monoxide. You can physically remove the cause, but the effect continues. This is deadly. You can also have the car in neutral, push the stop button (which won’t work) and walk away. Your car can then run you over, or your children.

 


Norman Ellis, 25, who escaped from Dartmoor Prison by cutting off one of his fingers and using the bones to pick the lock of his cell.

 

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Let’s see, I know I’ve used FYI, IDK, IDC, ASAP (a lot), and probably lots of others. But always with a slight cringe. I used to let myself use italics in my fiction, but then I decided even that was a cheap trick. I sound like a nun. Good that your Xmas fit the bill. I basically ignored mine, which fit my bill too. Haha (there I go), his profile was typical and uninteresting, so no temptation to use it. I’ve actually happened upon the escort or slave profiles of people I know to some degree more than a handful of times, but I always steer clear reposting-wise (well, after reading them and going ‘wow’). Did love tamp down on your sweat glands? Love making your door key world famous, and maybe the key to your heart too, G. ** NLK, Hi. Well, since I’m always making blog posts and did on Xmas too, it wasn’t totally a day off. But the non-fraternising with you was an unusual thing. Rouen. I think I’ve been there for a Gisele theater performance. Tempted to go back or just go if I’m misremembering. Have you ever been to Clermont-Ferrand? It has this really amazing, absolutely pitch black cathedral that’s almost worth the trip, although the rest of the town isn’t much. Although it is close to ‘Vulcania’, the kind of great little theme park inside a fake volcano. Grace, yeah, I know that search well. Oh, I think I’ve learned the most by far about writing from artists and musicians I’m friends with. The way they think and talk about form can be super exciting and provide awesome out-there goals for language. For years my great friend the great poet Amy Gerstler was the only person I would let read my work before I sent it to the publisher. Even then I had to feel like it was completely finished before I showed it to her. She knows what I’m up to very well, and she has a real knack for slipping in questions/criticism in such a way that it makes you think you saw the problems yourself. Since I moved over here, it’s too hard to show her things as she’s in LA. I sometimes run things by Zac because we’re very likeminded. But I’m not very into getting input into something I’m working on. I’m in such an intense bubble when I’m writing, and hearing what others think when I’m so locked down on a project just throws me off balance. But I’m weird that way. Do you feel more free and relaxed about sharing your works-in-progress with your friends or colleagues or whoever? Enjoy your day. It doesn’t look too daunting out the window so far. ** seb🦠, Hi. I guess I think it’s nice to hear that Xmas was of such a rich character as to occupy you. I can only cook in a microwave. Or boil water, I guess. The buche was crazy great. This was it. Thanks bunches for scoring ‘TMS’. Oh, no, does … it … still … work? Scary. I hope so. Jesus. My week doesn’t have a huge amount of things scheduled into it as of yet, partly because Parisians tend to exit the city betwixt Xmas and NY. But I’ll be fine. Zac is down with a winter flu at this very moment, but I will tell him hi, and since he sometimes keeps up with this blog, he might already know you to some degree. Your week, what’s up? Hopefully using your tablet in a fleet manner among other things? ** _Black_Acrylic, ‘The Cool World’ is, yes, cool. Wow, I could actually eat Bubble and squeak! And having the rudimentary vegan-ish tastes I do, it sounds delicious. I tend to think of colorful food from your neck of the world as containing loads of weird meat, so that’s excellent news. Oh, okay, about karaoke, scene. My guess was that one or more of those audience members giving the singing duo very strange looks were demonic or something and were about to slaughter them or something. Phew. ** Misanthrope, I literally don’t understand how one could chill without becoming extremely bored. 23, the magic number (some say). Solid Xmas booty. What does Mr. Chalamet smell like? No, I got zip for Xmas, nothing, not a molecule. Other than two Xmas cards, one from John Waters and one from my friend the artist Vincent Fecteau. That’s it. I am Xmas bereft. ** Bill, You’ve returned. I guess lag and you are old pals or consensual enemies by now. I will try to find ‘Hippo’. It and your comparisons sway me. Plus, can you think of anything named Hippo that isn’t great? I can’t. Welcome home, sir. ** Darby 🫀🫀, I thought those were strawberries at first. I grew up in a house with a grand piano. It was in the living room, which was directly underneath my bedroom. My mother had trained to be a concert pianist when she was young but gave that up to marry my dad and have kids, and she hugely regretted that. During her awful, lengthy alcoholic phase she would sit down at that piano every night and drunkenly play ‘Rhapsody in Blue’ over and over for hours and hours. But I like pianos anyway. I’ve never thought about it before, but I think I do like organ grinders, yes. When George was a kid, it was during the prog rock era, and he composed these kind of classical-ish things with tricky time signatures and stuff. When he got older and his condition fully set in, he had a hard time actually composing things, and they were mostly really sad, melancholic things. He was obsessed with Nic Drake, so they were kind of in that realm. On the 24th. Mine’s on the 10th. So … we’re both Capricorns or whatever. Or, wait, maybe you’re Aquarius. I don’t even really know what those terms mean, to be honest. Anyway, birthday boys unite! ** Okay. Today I’ve made you the third of my blog’s sporadically recurring key-centric posts for whatever hopefully good reason. See you tomorrow.

12 Comments

  1. NLK

    Clermont-Ferrand, no, I’d like to. I actually applied for a job there last summer, solely because of My Night at Maud’s and the hilarious pictures of the evil heavy metal cathedral in the center of the beigest, dullest looking French city. Vulcania, whoa, that piques my interest. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I’m teaching English in the outskirts of the Paris area. There seems to be a lot of stereotypes about the area I’m in being dangerous or whatever, but I think it’s a lot of racist nonsense since the city is so chill and quiet. I mean, it’s still weird/not super enjoyable to be in a European city that’s based around a big shopping mall like its a midwestern American city and I’ve been here three whole months without finding a single good cafe or bar to hang out in — I think it’s a bit of a ghost town, where most people commute to bigger cities for work and all that’s left is kids and old people.

    Interesting about Amy Gerstler, it’s so cool when you have someone you can trust like that. Yeah, ideally I’m in the stage where I can (close to) perfect something before I show people but I was been struggling too much with this one. What really inflames the perfectionist corner of my brain is when I’ve edited videos before. The choices seem endless and the timing and flow feels more abstract than in music or writing I think. So I don’t envy the editing process you’ve been in lately. Or no actually I do cuz it’s a fun hypnotic headspace to be in despite any pains. Do you and Zac tend to sit in from beginning to end in the editing process or are you more in and out?

    Have you seen any good movies lately? I saw Clouzot’s La Prisonnière last night. It was one of those experiences where I was so impressed for the first half I couldn’t believe it (a slowburn BDSM initiation drama featuring an op-art Andy Warhol figure and a destabilized visual style !) and I even thought a few times “It really seems like they’re not going to take this story into the two usual cliches, softening it into romance or blowing it up with them ‘going too far’ as a cautionary tale.” And then of course in the last forty minutes they did both. Wasn’t super impressed with La Chimera sadly, fun but pretty slight. Hope you enjoy Marlene Dietrich’s and Michel Piccoli’s birthday in style.

  2. _Black_Acrylic

    Sadly I can foresee a time quite soon when keys are obselete, and the scanning of a card will be enough to grant you access to wherever you want to go. A shame because keys have their own special charisma as can be seen in this post.

    Just watched a bit of An Audience with Kylie Minogue. Her cover of The Locomotion was the first record I ever owned. It was from a supermarket over the road and the checkout assistant had said to me “Oh that’s a good record isn’t it.” I felt as though I had access to some secret knowledge right there. Maybe my entire DJing career was just a chasing of that initial high?

  3. Steve Erickson

    New York is pretty deserted now too. On Christmas, there were more weed dispensaries than restaurants open.

    Keys seem so bare and functional that it’s impressive to look at the variety here. I particularly like Alexander the Great’s key and the Personal Secret Box.

    Here’s the Gay City News version of my film top 10 list, with addenda: https://gaycitynews.com/top-10-lgbtq-films-of-the-year/?utm_source=gcn&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter&utm_term=Gay%20City%20News%20Newsletter

    Macron’s defense of Gerard Depardieu, as well as the open letter defending him, feel so bizarre. The letter opines that treating an artist like a human being, as capable of committing crimes and harming others as anyone else, is a philistine act. A celebrity who’s acted like a pig in public is treated as a victim.

  4. Jack Skelley

    Hi Dennis — Hope your more-or-less “non-Christmas” has been good. Personally, I’m jealous of it, as I witness the orgy of materialism and mass-psychosis here. But my kidz have are back for the holiday so that’s good. Yesterday saw the Blake show at the Getty (via the Tate), and tomorrow will see that Luna Luna artist amusement park thing. Reviewing both for LARB. Then I see the short filmz you sent, then read Rube’s text, then see you alls. So that’s a good thing. xo Jack

  5. Tosh Berman

    Interesting commentary on having readers/people read one’s work before publication, etc. I like people reading my work and getting their thoughts on it once I finish it. I’m pretty thick-skinned when it comes to my writing/work, and I am also OK with criticism. Now, whatever I take it and use their criticism is another question. But yeah, I’m in a bubble while writing, so once that part is finished, I’m OK with others looking at it. I just finished co-writing a third draft of my script based on my memoir, and the Hollywood/film world is all based on other’s perceptions of the work. Without a doubt, they will change the original script if the film gets made. There are probably only a handful of directors/writers whose scripts are untouchable by anyone else. Quintin, PTA, and I imagine Wes. If we obtain the script as it is, and have the power to say ‘no,’ then that a possibility as well. But we will see. This is my first step into the screenwriting world, so I’ll see what will happen.
    And keys! When I was in Paris the last time, it was all numbered codes to get indoors. So, I imagine the “key,” as we know it, will disappear into the mist of time.

  6. Dominik

    Hi!!

    A literary nun. But no, I understand. I use italics, all caps, etc. sometimes, but it does make me question whether the sentence conveys my intended meaning adequately enough in the first place.

    That must be a pretty strange experience. Especially if there’s any kind of secrecy involved, like escorting behind a partner’s back. In high school, I had a very closeted, very “good boy” classmate, and a couple of years ago, I found his porn account on Twitter. It was a bit weird, but I was happy for him. I mean, clearly, he’d been on a journey.

    I’m grateful to love – he didn’t terrorize my sweat glands yesterday!

    Awh, love! Love giving you the key that opens the front doors of the Disney Store, Od.

  7. Bill

    That’s a very fine goat key. Wonder if anyone’s made one and put it on Etsy; let me check.

    Hope Hippo doesn’t disappoint. If it helps, the lead actor co-wrote the script, looks like a young Jim Jarmusch, and shares a last name with Zac. It’s not on the big streaming services yet though. On that note, when will Michael Salerno’s new film be more easily available?

    Bill

  8. Darby 🍓🍓

    Hello! Yo, yo, Do you want the elephant drawing???
    I have put it in sheet. I actually think you will like it, and though it took me a bit, I am satisfied with it . But it’s ok if you don’t want it I could always just show u if ya rather. 🙂

    Wow. Yes piano is very nice and ya know I think you may have inspired me tomorrow for my birthday to just go downtown to this old bookstore and sit at the piano and see what I remember in regard to songs I might have kept.

    I think I still know that Aphex Twin song Avril 14th
    And then I really like to play sea swallow me by coconut twins. I used to play them so early in the mornings when ur emotions suck and u haven’t slept al night and the birds chirp and the sky begins the mergence of his new day and I would sit at that rinky synth and just distract myself— ya know I think all this piano talk is making me very nostalgic hahah.
    Thank you very much for sharing that!
    That’s really good to know. My roommate has bipolar 1 and she hasn’t not been home since a little before Xmas because she’s in a manic episode at a hospital.
    I wonder if holiday psychosis exists because I swear it’s always Christmas the world feels like it’s just shrinking and your insides flare out and it just feels like your body is trapped inside a monotonous routine and that you have to escape it by the means of creating some very elaborate attempt to grasp some clarity which is really just a way the body and mind harms itself.
    I think that makes sense?? I hope she will be returning because I got her some art things for Christmas.

    I am hopeful for tomorrow. The possibility of seeing that wrestling movie tomorrow with a friend as a birthday outing

    I think I misspelled Cocteau Twins, im keeping it though cuz it made me laugh

    • Darby 🍓🍓

      P.s Ahhhh I HATEEEE zodiacs. I’m tired of hearing them lol!!!

  9. Nick.

    *poof* I’m back. Howdy what’s up lots of updates that culminate into im doing good and having fun a lot. I finally stopped whatever was making me overthink everything so hard now im just bad to the bone and fine with it. I keep running into this boy and talking to him sometimes that’s fun and one of my really good friends is moving out of the city so I saw him a bunch sorta helped him move and did a bunch of goodbye drugs with him. Oh I’m being summoned for like different New Year’s parties with different I’ll say chapters of my life it’s wild I can’t choose what to do or who to see it’s pretty new for me to be in demand at all. That’s all oh I also realized my standards for like boy love and what not were so blown out of proportion cause of Kevin that boy I mentioned once and like how actually in love I was with him and I’m guessing it was vice versa cause he was obsessed with me I’m not saying that for ego. So after realizing how lucky I am to one remember him and have had that and two how I’m doing myself a disservice thinking I’ll get a repeat and not just a new thing really balanced me out. Oh hum I had to put down the greater part of my magical goings on it was literally making everything harder when magic is supposed to make stuff easy. Sorry for my long departure I was getting used to being actually normal instead of whatever I was playing at before. Happy holidays since I’m a bit late. What’s up with you +ttyl just not as late next time!

  10. Nick.

    It’s infuriating that I typed out a great hey I’m back post and the internet ate it! Anyways I’m back and more normal and new than I ever was before. Quick run down

    Boys: doing good all the ones I think are cute wished me a merry Christmas in a cute way and I keep running into and talking to this really cute one.

    Me: Magic stuff just a hobby less of a lifestyle now which helped me be more normal and what not and ceased the overthinking I think I was too focused on extracting life instead of living it.

    Revelations: I’m literally one of the luckiest people alive cause that boy I told you about before Kevin and I had such a like pure love that’s it’s been with me my entire life and I’ve been lucky enough to meet other boys who made/make me feel like he did since so much so that reflecting on it seriously taught me like hey dude you don’t take guys seriously cause when you were like 9 you already met one of your soul mates or whatever so now I just run towards the boys who remind me of him instead of just the ones.

    Updates: just having fun and what not can’t complain so I won’t. Oh one of my great friends is moving back home which I’m
    Sad about but I’m really happy cause it’s a sign that things change.

    Oh I’m also a hot ticket item this new years I’ve been requested by a few friends to do completely different things for new years and I’ve yet to decide what my plan is and it’s fun it feels like whatever I pick will set the tone or whatever maybe I’ll get a reward if I pick right or maybe life will just go on I’ll let ya know either way.

    That’s all and I promise you the first version of this was so
    Much better what’s up with you? I’ll be back so make it good.

  11. Nick.

    Omfg both versions are here now I’m screaming

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