C.L. Kilarney presents … The Monstrous American Twelve

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‘Monster movie (also can be referred to as a creature feature or giant monster film) is a name commonly given to movies that centre on the struggle between human beings and one or more monsters. While there is no specific academic genre classification of that name, the term is usually applied to films sometimes labelled as horror, fantasy or science fiction genre that involve fictional creatures, in most cases it is applied to films that feature more oversized monsters despite its history starting with adaptations of horror folklore and literature.

‘The most common aspect of a monster movie is the struggle between a human collective of protagonists against one or more monsters, who serve as the antagonistic force. The monster is created by a folly of mankind – an experiment gone wrong, the effects of radiation or the destruction of habitat. Or usually the monster is from outer space, has been on Earth for a long time with no one ever seeing it, or released (or awakened) from a prison of some sort where is was being held.

‘In the 1950s, there arose a wave of “creature features” and the concept of combining nuclear paranoia with the genre. A parallel development during this era was the rise of the Z movie, films made outside the organized motion picture industry with ultra-low budgets. Grade-Z monster movies such as Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) and The Creeping Terror (1964) are often listed among the worst films ever made because of their inept acting and amateurish special effects. After 1960, monster movies were less popular yet were still produced.’ — C.L. KIlarney

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The Astounding She Monster (1957)
‘The Astounding She-Monster is a movie for people with highly specialized tastes. It tells the story of a trio of kidnappers, their socialite victim, the geologist whose house they invade, AND a blond, radium-emitting alien in tight spandex who crash-lands her spacecraft near that same house. Potential viewers of this film must possess the following traits: They must love movies that are made on the supercheap, and that contain no outdoor synch dialogue; movies in which egregious day-for-night photography is used, worse than anything in “Plan 9,” and in which non sequitur music that bears little relation to the story is standard. These viewers should also be OK with inept direction; the insertion of long, meaningless shots; offscreen narration that sounds as if it’s being read by a hypnotized dodo; Grade Z acting by a six-person cast (well, maybe Robert Clarke gives a Grade D performance); and “special” effects that look as though they were filmed through a Vaseline-smeared camera lens. It also wouldn’t hurt if potential viewers didn’t mind scratchy-looking prints on their DVD, with abysmal sound that keeps dropping out, and with hardly an “extra” to be found. If the above seems to match your highly specialized tastes, then The Astounding She-Monster might be just the flick for you.’ — ferbs54, imdB

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The Cosmic Monsters (1958)
‘The Cosmic Monsters was the onscreen title given to the American release (by Distributors Corporation of America) of the British science fiction film The Strange World of Planet X; title confusion invariably comes into play because in all of the advertising for this film, DCA called it Cosmic Monster instead. One of three British 1950s science fiction films to star American actor Forrest Tucker, it is the least known of the batch and is seldom revived. Generally considered a minor effort in the genre, The Cosmic Monsters is notable for its interesting premise, for a few effective shock scenes, and for being an across-the-pond cousin to the American “Big Bug” subgenre of science fiction movies. The giant ants, spiders, worms, etc. are all too obviously stock micro-cinematographic material; and the spectacle of the cast running in terror from them is a trifle absurd. Only a most unpleasant shot of an ant feeding off a human face makes the film unsuitable for younger audiences.’ — TCM

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Beast from Haunted Cave (1959)
‘This is one of those crooks-on-the-lamb-who-don’t-count-on-the-monster-outside the-cabin movies but with a difference. While most of these cheapo quickies never had much to start with, this little oddity is fun because you’re diverted from the trivial plot by acting and directing that’s edgier than you’d expect. MONTE HELLMAN directed this, his first picture, as though it were Key Largo rather than an ephemeral ROGER CORMAN horror flick. So even if you’re disappointed by the cave monster – which I was not – you’re hooked by the interplay between the hard-bitten gang leader (FRANK WOLFF who also starred in Radley Metzger’s The Lickerish Quartet), his cynical, world-weary girlfriend (SHEILA CAROL), and their wholesome, outdoorsy, back-country guide played by MICHAEL FOREST (Atlas). The ads promised: “Screaming Young Girls Sucked into a Labyrinth of Horror by a Blood-Starved Ghoul from Hell!” Said Ghoul from Hell is actually a giant spider monster that’s really more like an octopus covered with cotton candy which turns up in the darndest places.’ — somethingweird.com

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The Giant Claw (1957)
‘In basic terms this film is your standard 50’s sci-fi/monster flick, but with one of the most asinine-looking monsters ever. It starts off quite promising but gradually begins to peter out until it finally reveals its terrible title creature. The performances by the actors may keep one interested, as they give it their all despite some truly off-putting dialog. Those looking for pure cinematic cheese will not be disappointed in this one, as both the monster and the miniature FX are truly a sight to behold in their godawfulness. Music is forgettable, but the endless cries of the big bird will haunt you long after this one is over. A beautiful mess. That is exactly what this film is. The producers try so hard to give us a frightfully good time, but the end result is just laughable. It’s so bad, that the years have garnered this movie a special reputation above and beyond other genre films from the same decade. Anyone calling themselves a fan of B-movies must see this film at least once, just to see how unintentionally comical it all is. The folks that don’t like older films or prefer a certain degree of realism in their films had better steer clear. This thing is about as far removed from reality as Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch. If you’re like me, you’ll love this film for it’s over the top cheeze factor.’ — bmoviegraveyard.com

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Teenagers Battle The Thing (1958)
‘A high school Biology class receives a visitor, who is a good friend of their teacher. He tells them of an encounter that he and their teacher had 15 years before while searching for Indian artifacts in the nearby mountains. They find a mummified corpse in a cave that resembles a rough-hewn statue. The mummy is brought back to their lodge and breaks out of its wrappings. It goes on a short rampage in what appears to be an orchard. The humans gather together to stop the creature before it can kill any one. The film was an expanded and colorized to become the 1972 film The Curse of the Bigfoot. The two stars from the original appear as adults in the opening scene of the 1972 film. The rest of Curse of Bigfoot consists of the entire 1958 film seen as a flashback.’ — Wiki

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Robot Monster (1953)
‘The monstrous Ro-Man attempts to annihilate the last family alive on Earth, but finds himself falling for their beautiful daughter. Universally recognized by bad film connoisseurs, Robot Monster is one of the most poorly executed and hilariously awful films of all time, perhaps only second to Plan 9 From Outer Space in it’s infamy. You would think that Robot Monster would at least have some propensity for creating atmosphere. Considering that the plot, the acting and dialogue seem to be of little concern, it would only be reasonable that the focus of the film would be towards more of a feeling than a linear narrative. Yet atmosphere and scenery is arguably where Robot Monster fails most noticeably. Unless you have a penchant for piles of rocks and barren scrub-land brush, you could get better scenery by closing your eyes and putting up a camera at random. There are long moments of panoramic shots showing nothing more than our gorilla suited alien trudging up the scrubby mountain side to his cave, which only seems to emphasize that this is a portly fellow, bumbling along in a cumbersome costume for seemingly pointless footage.’ — ericjant, imdB

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The Giant Gila Monster (1959)
‘In The Giant Gila Monster, most of the plot is given over to a group of hot-rod enthusiasts, headed by nice-guy Chace Winstead (Don Sullivan), who sometimes breaks into song. Before long, the titular gila monster, which is just that — a real gila monster — is lumbering about on miniaturized sets terrorizing the community, killing at random, knocking over trains and barns, and in general making a nuisance of itself. When the monster threatens to devour Chace’s kid sister, he attempts to dispatch the beast with a hot rod full of nitroglycerin. Camp value is provided by a truckload of 1950s B-movie cliches and dreadful song breaks — “The Gila Monster Crawl” among other “rock & roll hits” — by its lead, Don Sullivan, who through this movie rose from nothing to complete obscurity.’ — collaged

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The Crawling Eye (1958)
‘Even before the success of Hammer films English moviemakers were trying to get a piece of the same boxoffice that Americans had tapped in fantastic science fiction stories. With a few exceptions, the attempts were pretty bleak. Another teleplay upgraded for the screen, as had been most of Hammer’s Sci-Fi features, this moody and ambitious chiller has one of those perfectly constructed stories. A chalet welcomes a host of shady scientists, psychics and a reporter who may be a spy. All are drawn for different reasons to a mountain where mountain climbers are disappearing, or getting their heads ripped off. The horror menace makes itself known through killings and also via the telepathic reception of a mind-reader. This puts the wonderfully expressive actress Janet Munro at the center of the drama, instead of making her a typical horror heroine who stands by to scream and be rescued. Her wide-eyed visions tell of unseen monsters, in nervous speeches that have the effect of a good ghost story.’ — dvdtalk.com

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Monster from Green Hell (1958)
‘They don’t really get much worse than Monster from Green Hell, a horrible, ludicrous “giant mutated insect” movie from 1958 that is strictly bottom of the barrel. Now, if you are in the right frame of mind, all this might mean that it’s just exactly what you’re looking for, because many people get a huge kick out of laughing at the absurdity of these low-budget monster flicks. Be advised, however, that while there is plenty to laugh at in Monster, there also is an incredible amount of dead space throughout the film. It seems that director Kenneth G. Crane had to pad the film out to meet a certain length requirement, and so there’s a lot of time when nothing really happens as our heroes journey through the jungle. Also, there’s a high percentage of stock footage, which doesn’t necessarily seamlessly match the actual “new” footage. And then there are the “special” effects. Aside from two — one in which a giant wasp is seen coming over a hill and another involving a wasp-python fight — the other effects are abysmal. (There’s where you get your yocks.) The cast is poor, with Jim Davis unbelievable as a scientist and Barbara Turner unappealing as the love interest. The script, by the way, is dreadful, in case you needed to be told.’ — rovi

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The Magnetic Monster (1953)
‘Working for O.S.I., the Office of Scientific Investigation, A-Man agent Jeffrey Stewart and his partner Dan Forbes are sent to a local hardware store where they find a strong magnetic field has magnetized every metal item in the store. Investigating further, they eventually trace the source of the magnetism to an airborn flight carrying scientist Howard Denker, now dying of radiation poisoning, who has carted on board with him a new radioactive element which he has bombarded with alpha particles for 200 hours. The element, dubbed ‘serranium’ grows geometrically by creating matter out of energy which it absorbs from metallic objects surrounding it. The Magnetic Monster has a delightful gaffe in every scene. When a dangerous isotope is said to be ‘on the loose’, the police radio order goes out to SHOOT TO KILL … Shoot what exactly, they don’t say. This line could very well have been invented at the film’s mix, if the producer thought the scene needed an extra jolt. But despite the fact that Curt Siodmak cooked up Donovan’s Brain and personally invented a bona fide classic monster mythology, his ’50s sci-fi efforts strain credibility in all directions.’ — classicmoviesez.com

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The Horror Of Party Beach (1964)
‘Radioactive waste dumped off the coastline creates mutant monsters. The beasts attack slumber parties, beaches, tourists, and terrorize a waterfront community as a scientist, his daughter, her boyfriend and the local police try to find a way to stop them. The slumber party massacre scene is the height of hideousness! genuinely unnerving. Filing alongside the aforementioned murder freakout in Night of the Living Dead. (Also, as a devotee of the harry smith folk anthology, I got really excited when I recognized them singing “The Wagoner’s Lad.”) but the body count in this movie! Lord! It puts the slasher cycle to shame.’ — clare

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The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
‘Coleman Francis’s The Beast of Yucca Flats is a monument to cinematic incompetence, routinely ranking among the worst movies ever made. Clocking in at a mercifully short but agonizingly slow 54 minutes, the film tracks a defecting Soviet scientist, played by 400-pound ex-wrestler Tor Johnson, who wanders into a nuclear test site and mutates into a lumbering madman. Because Francis shot the entire project completely silent to cut costs, the movie lacks synchronized audio or genuine character dialogue. Instead, viewers are subjected to post-dubbed grunt sound effects and an infamous, heavy-handed voiceover narration delivered by Francis himself. This narrator spits out utterly bizarre, repetitive, and nonsensical pseudo-philosophical phrases like “Touch a button… push a button… world ends.” Visually, the production is a disaster, featuring out-of-order sequences, a completely unrelated opening murder scene meant as drive-in bait, and a climax where a wild rabbit inexplicably sniffs the main character’s corpse.’ — abcflicks

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p.s. Hey. ** A reader of this blog named C.L. Kilarney says they were inspired by last week’s Ishirō Honda post to counter-program with some low budget monster flicks from the distant days when American ingenuity had freer reign. And that’s your entertainment for today, and all thanks to our very generous and canny guest-host. ** Dominik, Hi!!! You bet, thanks, pal. Funny, it was a neighbor of mine who put that wish into love’s fertile mind. Sounds like an obnoxious form of pain that more than deserves love’s swift kick. Is it history or almost? Love insisting that you must be comically menaced by a monster on display today, but he’ll let you choose, G. ** jay, Hey, Jay! I’m good enough, thank you. I’m happy that the Warner novel spoke to you. Delicious prose, no? I did indeed read and really like ‘Erik Satie Three Piece Suite’. I just watched a documentary about Satie the other day. I can’t remember the title, but it was enlightening. Your musical strengths and weaknesses could play right into Satie’s hands if I’m interpreting him correctly. Go for it. Oh, lovely, thank you for the link. I will indulge very shortly. Everyone, Take a break from the monsters and go listen to the mighty Jay perform Chopin’s ‘Prelude in E Minor’ with his own two hands here. I have never listened to an audio book in my entire life. Seems weird, I know, but I’m wary for reasons I can’t completely explain. Makes sense as a soporific, though, yes. I hope yours gave you restfulness in a nutshell. xo. ** _Black_Acrylic, Yeah, ‘Seedbed’ was an eye, etc. opener for sure. Different world when artists could make work like that and a gallery would say, ‘Sounds good!’ ** Carsten, Hi. Congrats again. I’m heavily deadlining on a ‘deck’ that Zac and I having to make for possible investors, but I’ll luxuriate in your poem when my brain isn’t forced into work mode. Wow, nice photo. I vaguely remember it happening but not who the photographer was. Or where it was taken. The background rings a bell. Thanks. I ain’t nobody’s daddy, though, haha. ** laura w., Nice and convenient friend. October: The plan was to go to LA for the annual home haunt hunting and overindulgence, but the screening of ‘RT’ in London on Halloween killed that, heartbreakingly. Luckily Parc Asterix has a very good Halloween makeover with haunts and scare zones and stuff. I have a friend who works for Disney, so I’m going to see if she can get us discount hotels and park tickets in Orlando, so Zac and I might pop over there, but I kind of doubt that I can afford than even with the rate cuts. Autumn is going to let summer back in for a few days this weekend here, ugh, but hopefully that’ll be that. Enjoy the beginning. ** Adem Berbic, Well, gosh, thank you, man. Do sift to your imaginations content. ** Steve, I recently saw a friend I hadn’t seen in maybe 40 years, and it was like time hadn’t passed, etc., at least when we weren’t concentrating on our wrinkled visages. Hopefully you’ll have the same, but with far fewer wrinkles. Nothing has jumped out at me yet from l’Etrange’s schedule. It used to be much more varied. I mean, ‘Like Cattle Towards Glow’ premiered there, and now it wouldn’t have a shot. I’ll try ‘Ghost in the Cell’ then. Thanks. I didnt know Gerard Cosloy had a show. Huh, I’ll go find it, and thanks for that. ** HaRpEr //, There’s also the fact that ‘TGR’ and ‘PGL’ were shot in the same place, Cherbourg, although you would never know since we deliberately erased its seafront status. I too am among those who’ve never quite gotten the greatness of Kafka’s actual writing. Maybe I’ll try the diaries then. Thanks. ** Thom, Hi. Lyrics referencing George Miles would only be a total honor. Wow, that’s amazing. I want to hear that song when and where it gets real. Amy Grant super fan story: I’m down. I can’t begin to imagine it, which is obviously the best. My intro to ‘Mina Harker’ is no big deal. The press wanted it. Dodie and I both thought it was a boring idea. So my intro is just me kind of fulfilling the press’s demand. Big luck on your back. I’ve had a tricky back since I grew way too fast when I was about 11 yo, and it fucks up on me regularly, and back pain is no friend. ** Right. Go spend your day with the ridiculous monsters, thank you, and see you tomorrow.