* (restored)
Note: The site Best Deaths first appeared in 2005. It disappeared for reasons unknown in 2022.
‘You have the cool story idea, we have the equipment and the know-how. Our team reviews your request taking into consideration the length of the video, the cost of actors, crew and other production costs. Then, we will send you an estimated cost for the video. Once the script and costs are agreed to you make payment. Then we shoot it. The next day we send you pictures from the set. Then we edit the film in 30 days or less. Then we send your custom film to you via download or DVD or both (your choice). These custom videos start at $500.00 USD. All of the unedited footage may be available at an additional cost. Have fun and let’s get started…’ — Best Deaths
https://motherless.com/F315B8A
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Testimonials
Have you ever wanted to direct a film or found yourself editing the scenes in some of your favorite movies? That’s me. There never has been the “perfect” film and those big-budget ones are no exception. The next best thing? That turned out to be easier than I thought get Best Deaths to make one for you. The nice thing with Best Deaths was that I was able to write the script and be involved all the way through. If any of you fantasize like I do, you’ll appreciate how much it adds to have an actor say exactly what you want to hear him say or be able to tell the filming crew what kind of angles and closeups you want. It makes all the difference in the world. Even things like clothing. I happen to like leather and I was able to send Best Deaths numerous things that I wanted to see the actors wearing or use. That worked out beautifully and everything got returned to me. They proved to be 100% honest and dependable and I was able to be involved in the whole production process. I got everything I had hoped for and then some. I’ll definitely be back for more.
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I ordered one custom video of Chris. It was the best throat slash video online anywhere. I was thoroughly satisfied and very happy to have spent the money. This website really knows what they are doing. Thanks Best Deaths.
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I don’t know what to say, that was perfect, just totally perfect. Luke was the perfect victim, I can think of other ways I’d like to kill him, I’ll be watching this one over and over. His killer did a fantastic job, I think I’d like to see more of him too, has he been in anything yet? He doesn’t look familiar.
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Kyle was absolutely incredible with the fear in his look and voice, the struggling, and the facial grimace. The strangle scene was great as well and was exactly what I was looking for in that scene.
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What can I say? The video is incredible. You guys did an amazing job! Chris is in fantastic shape and you guys captured him beautifully. He’s never looked better, if you ask me. I loved the way his strength slowly fades and he stumbles as he tries to get away. His performance really makes the story. You guys also got some incredible camera angles. You really captured the struggle well and knew exactly what I wanted to see.
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What you do is medicine to the minds of those of us who are sometimes even just a little unsure that in a more public arena, the privations of a “perversion” would appear so acceptable. That is no small thing! Thank you!
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Wow, that was real good. Like the twist in the beginning where the kid sees his execution. Pretty good acting too. Like the tube and the yellow extraction.
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Would like to extend my appreciation to Greg for his realistic scream and reaction when he was stabbed. Really love it. Of course, not forgetting Hunter as the psychotic killer. He is so perfect for the role. Would love to cast Greg in another video to watch his navel being tortured again.
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Well done. Didn’t expect them all to end up dead…but that was a nice touch. Especially seeing the guy in the white wife beater getting stabbed. I didn’t realize how big his arms were.
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The acting was perfect. Both actors did a great job in selling the scenario, and I think the actor who plays Greg is witty, athletic and convincing: he lived up to my expectations. When he was lifted into the torture rack he looked fantastic!
Dead links
https://motherless.com/26DFFA4
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Interview w/ Viktor of Best Deaths Collective
Is the site popular?
Victor: Well, yeah. I think because there aren’t that many sites with this theme, and there are people who look at, maybe not the actual deaths, but more the fetish. Maybe they like to see some feet focused videos, belly button, or even method-wise they like to see some guys getting strangled, hanged and whatnot.
What about safety and making sure you don’t actually kill anyone?
The safety of our actors is primary – that’s the main thing. We try to shoot everything as real-looking as possible, but we always take measures, like if we’re going to use a knife, or knives, they are not sharp at all – but we always tell the actors to be careful with a knife or any kind of prop. Like, in drowning [scenes], we take a lot of breaks, because we submerge the actor underwater for, I don’t know, five, ten seconds – as long as the actor can hold their breath. The actors aren’t at any risk at all throughout the whole production.
Do the actors have to sign liability waivers?
They sign an agreement, but an image agreement. We never put anyone at risk, so they don’t really have to worry about getting hurt, because that doesn’t really happen.
What’s the best thing to use as fake blood?
We found a stage blood that we actually buy, which is great because it’s thick, it has great colour and it tastes good as well. It’s mint flavour.
Do you have any female users?
Yes, there are female users. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what percentage of the users, but yeah, we have a female fanbase – which is not very large, but they exist.
Would you say murder is a misunderstood fetish?
Definitely. Not many of the users have [only] this death fetish – they also link it with another kind of more specific fetish that they have, like stabbing, so stabbing someone to death or strangling someone to death. Maybe people understand the “standard” fetishes, like feet fetish or muscle worship, but [not] something more aggressive, or something that you wouldn’t actually be able to do without hurting anyone if you wanted to do it for real. When you involve death, some people might misunderstand that because they might think that they really want to kill someone.
I guess it’s difficult to understand where the line is drawn between fantasy and wanting to act things out IRL. That’s where people are going to struggle with it and be concerned.
It’s a very underground thing, and people are afraid of what they don’t know or understand.
You seem to deliberately avoid the word snuff – is there a reason for that?
We never use the word “snuff”, because what we do is not snuff videos, but death performance videos. Many fans have even expressed that they like to watch guys being killed, but not for real, and that’s what they like about our productions. We try to portray realistic deaths, which the fans enjoy, knowing that it’s all staged, but also getting the rush of watching such action, with even more detail and length than what they would get from a video with a real death.
If you were going to be murdered, how would you prefer to be murdered?
I think strangled. Yeah, I’m a strangling fan.
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Examples
THE DOCTOR EXECUTES ANDY THEN ACTS AS HIS MORTICIAN
MARK IS CAPTURED AND DRUGGED TO DEATH BY DR. Z
MITCH SUFFERS, CPR, STRANGLE, INJECTION AND STABBING TORTURE DEATH
TWO TEENS ATTACK THEIR FRIEND JAMIE, PUNCH HIM, HIT HIM WITH AN AXE, HANG HIM, STRANGLE HIM TO DEATH AND BURY HIS DEAD BODY IN THE YARD
DR Z HYPNOTIZES A STUD TO DROWN AND STRANGLE A BLOND HIGH SCHOOL GUY AT THE POOL
HYPNOTIZED DREW KILLS DR Z AND THEN HIMSELF
DR Z TAKES A VACATION AND STRANGLES DONNIE
NEW SKATER TEEN MEETS DR Z ENDS UP DEAD IN MORGUE AND TOE TAGGED
SOLDIER IS STRUNG UP, CHLOROFORMED, ELECTROCUTED AND STABBED
COACH SHOOTS A JOCK IN THE BATHROOM
BAD ASS WRESTLER KT WRESTLES YOUNG SMALLER HUNTER AND KILLS HIM WITH A SNAP OF HIS NECK
REVENGE ON THE TRAIL YOUNG COWBOY IS SHOT AND STRANGLED BY POWERFUL OUTLAW
REVENGE, SHOOTING AND ASPHYXIATION BY TRAINED ASSASSINS
GREG KILLS DREW THE SKATER KID THEN KEEPS HIS CORPSE AS A LIVING DOLL
KEVEN DRESSES HUNTER’S NAKED CORPSE IN THE MORGUE THEN ABUSES IT IN HIS CASKET
KILLER LANCE CHLOROFORMS, STRIPS, DROWNS AND ELECTROCUTES JOSH
MARK PISTOL WHIPS JOSH THEN HANGS HIM DEAD
ALL CHOKED UP PART THREE
DREW’S NIGHTMARE TIED TO THE BED AND STRANGLED TO DEATH BY MR JENKINS
EDDIE MEET POGO NOW DIE
HUNTER CHLOROFORMED, TIED DOWN, AND STRANGLED TO DEATH BY MR. JENKINS WHO RAPES HIS DEAD BODY
MITCH DRUGS MARK INTO CARDIAC ARREST THEN PERFROMS CPR AND OTHER MEDICAL TORTURE ON HIS CORPSE
PAUL POISONS STRAIGHT TOM, TIES HIM TO A BED, SUFFOCATES HIM WITH A PLASTIC BAG, STRANGLES HIM TO DEATH WITH A ROPE AND RAPES HIS DEAD BODY
*
p.s. Hey. ** jay, Hi. The Hede is very, very good. See, now, ‘Golden Idol’ sounds up my alley. I’ll take a peek. Over the weekend I switched from ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ to ‘Paper Mario: The Origami King’, and I’m much happier. That’s interesting about your hypnotist friend’s focus. The mind rewriting was the most interesting part of my experiences. A friend would rattle off a string of like, 40 numbers once, and when I was post-hypnotised I could repeat the long string of numbers without even thinking. Or I was told a certain record that I knew really well was an entirely different record, and they’d out it on, and sure enough, I heard the record it wasn’t. Wild stuff. And fantastic that your experience inspired you to write, of course. ** Dominik, Hi!!! As always, you’re very welcome. Maybe tarot isn’t supposed to facilitate communication with the dead and my friend was just an overachiever. Still waiting to hear the fate of the film, hopefully any day now. Love staggering around drunk with a McDonalds burger clamped between his teeth, G. ** iwishiwasanon, Hi. Yeah, the blog’s entrance is very finicky, and it’s annoying as hell, and I apologise on its behalf. I walk by Serge Lutens all the time because it’s on the route to the supermarket. Its interior seems intimidating, but maybe I’ll step inside. I didn’t know he was a photographer. I look his work up. I’ve lived here for ages, and I still don’t speak French other than some minimal things I can say to cashiers in stores, and I can read French a little, so you’ll survive. Well, if you ever want to meet just say the word. I’m pretty easy-going in person. Oh, right, the snow. Well, I think the show is there for months? The blog inspiring a writer to write is the best compliment it can get. What town did you go to? I like getting out of Paris, but I’ve been mostly stuck here recently because of working on a film. But I did go to Los Angeles and New York. And my friend Zac and I are going to my favorite amusement park, Efteling, in Holland, pretty soon. ** James, 11 hours, sweet. Rain here too. The heavily drizzly, not so interesting kind. Agree with you about writing being the fucking best. Uh, I just keep up on what’s coming out, focused on smaller more daring writer and presses, and people sometimes send me books, I guess hoping I’ll like them and put them on my blog or something. ‘Videodrome’ is worth a watch. I hope you did max out the three-fer of days off and are now, what, raring to … work? I don’t know. ** Steeqhen, ‘Summoning Salt’: Great, thank you, I’ll get all over that at the soonest opportunity. I’ll check the Wiki scoop on ‘Motley’. Kind of a nice name. I ended up quitting the game I was playing, at least for now, because I tried about twenty times to beat one Boss and couldn’t make a dent in him. Now I’m playing a game (‘Paper Mario: The Origami King’), where, so far, the bosses are relative pushovers. Yes, ‘PM:TOK’ cost 59 euros, for Christ’s sake, and it’s four years old. Did you read in the poetry night? How was that? How did it go? ** nat, Well, hi, my blurry friend. I was assuming the Cloudflare monster was what was keeping you at bay. So sorry for the gif-y month+. Surely, fun is stretching out endlessly before you now. Exciting about what you’re writing both due its topic and via the mere fact that you’re both writing and seemingly fired up about that. Let me know how it goes. ‘Racing Lagoon’, I’ll check it out. ‘PM:TOK’ has really smart, clever writing, and that’s a lot of its charisma. Anyway, thanks, looks super interesting. Pleaureableness to you until hopefully soon. ** _Black_Acrylic, The Joy Williams rules, of course. We’re very wet here in Paris, but it’s kind of standard fare wet so far. Oh, man, I’m so behind on PT, fucking hell. I’m going to do a marathon post-haste. Exciting! Everyone, _Black_Acrylic’s great musical podcast has been updated with a new episode, and, as always, this is me strongly suggesting you accept its spate of sonic glory. Here’s _B_A to enhance my suggestion: ‘The new episode of my show Play Therapy v2.0 is online here via Tak Tent Radio! Ben ‘Jack Your Body’ Robinson wants you to relax deeply and watch the light. That’s good. Let yourself go down deeper. Listen to your tone and make it go deeper. Deeper, deeper, deeper.’ ** Lucas, Hi, L. Oh, shit, I’m so sorry about the weekend besetting you. Definitely sounds your moving-out plans are crucial and destiny. New story! I’m sort of drawn to writing things that are emotionally hard for me to do, i.e. ‘I Wished’, so … but if it’s hard in a crushing way, be careful. It sounds really enticing though. All the luck necessary re: the week of exams. What do they require you to think and write/talk about? xo, me. ** Steve, Trying to get into this blog is like playing a video game. A very buggy game. My weekend was okay, I guess. Mostly played videogames and did my biweekly Zoom book/film club with US friends wherein we watched/discussed Gregg Araki’s ‘Totally Fucked Up’ and an essay called ‘THE NEW MONSTROUS: Biotechnological beings are challenging our boundaries’. Is ‘The Umbrellas …’ being restored or something? I haven’t listened into the new KL album yet, no, but will. Your take? ** Diesel Clementine, I’ve read Oe, but I can’t remember if I’ve read ‘Nip the Buds, Kill the Children’. It seems like I would remember that title if I had. Sounds great, I love Oe. Ha ha, that interview sounds …. most curious. If you want to paste it, I will certainly read it. Thanks. Really nice to see you, of course. ** HaRpEr, Well, of course. Illusion of plot, yes. Plot employed judiciously and subversively as mere fuel to help keep the reader moving forward can work. Personally I never know what I’ve achieved until I’m in the work spate’s aftermath. You just have maintain a basic faith, I guess? Wow, is that storm over? We’re just wet, but it’s dead still wetness. Things are mostly ok with me if not exactly exciting. This week: hopefully get through a huge film-related problem solving attempt, an idea has been floated of doing a selected short fiction book by me and I’m going to think about what would be in such a book, hopefully see a lot of art because there’s a lot of good things about and I’m way behind. Your week? ** Uday, Hi. Is McCormack hard on the stomach? I suppose I’m not the best judge. I did read ‘Quarry’, okay! I blanked. I’m going to go find it on my shelves and refresh myself. Have you piled up more Kafka wordage? Don’t sweat it. My weekend had low expectations, and I suppose they were met. Thanks. Have a big week. ** Right. People have been asking me occasionally for a few years to restore the post up there. And, seeing as how the site in the spotlight died between my originally having made the post and now, and seeing as how its stuff has kind of disappeared from view, maybe it’s time. See you tomorrow.
Now available in North America 
*
Hi!!
Never heard of Best Deaths – and of course I only learn about it once it’s gone. Nevertheless, thank you for the introduction! They seemed pretty dedicated.
I’m keeping my fingers so, so tightly crossed for the future of your film!!
I can see love very vividly. The image of innocent teenage nightlife at its best, haha. Love staging his own death, Od.
Hi, Dennis. Yeah, here’s hoping about my moving out plans. Thanks for the encouraging words re: the story. I think I’ll try to write in the potentially more emotionally challenging way when I get to that, I’ll just need to remove myself emotionally from it, if that makes sense. I want the emotions of the character to be sort of filtered or lightly at a distance from the actual text anyway. I’m thinking a lot about texture again. Most of all I want this story to be very even in that way. And sort of foamy. I don’t know why I get that feeling. A few ideas have been rattling in my head for a counterpart to that. I’ve been wanting to write something with the same sort of rough, uneven texture of the very bad craft projects I used to make as a kid. I started a story with similar aspirations in the summer, but it turned out really boring so I immediately dropped it. But I had this idea a while ago (that I originally wanted to use for a series of poems) of this 12 year old narcoleptic boy that I could use to explore my own issues w the concepts of consciousness, dissociation, memory etc. and also my fascination with hospitals since they were one of the places I felt safest in as a kid (had pneumonia twice when I was about 6-7, the longest visit being one of my happiest childhood memories oddly enough). And I realized that lends itself really well to those uneven and messily put together textures that I’ve been wanting to use for so long in a short story. But I’m getting ahead of myself as usual; I’ll work on this one after I’m done with the ghost boy one. I realize this sounds incredibly silly and weird but it’s the most intuitive way to think about writing for me. I agree with what you said to Harper; to me, plots are just ways to tie in the texture of a piece. I was supposed a (quite easy tbf) biology exam about cell construction today but I wasn’t feeling well so I skipped and slept until noon. So I’ll probably write that one next week. I have a German exam on Wednesday where we’re going to have to analyze a short story using different communication models which is honestly really interesting but I’m sort of scared because this teacher is a tyrant regarding grammar and that’s something I still mostly suck at even though I’ve been living in Germany for 8 years. Hope you have a nice week, xo
Small update on today: discussed the story (ghost one) with a good friend, finally found a loose structure for it and slowly started to write it, and watched Derek Jarman’s ‘Blue’.
Lovely post Strange indeed that the site disappeared the again maybe the content creeped people out and the site was reported. I liked the vids featuring Josh (aka Josh Bensan) He was always a bit better than the regular twink models even in his vanilla work. I sure wish I saved some of vids.
Seems a shame that Best Deaths is no longer on the go, seeing as how it was such a great idea for a project. Would have thought that AI would revolutionise this kind of endeavour, though? I can imagine a celebrity take on this already being in place.
Thinking the Play Therapy v2.0 poscast might be nearing the end of it natural life. Just another few episodes would take me up to to 26, which would mean this has taken me exactly a year. That has its own nice kind of symmetry to it. Taken up a lot of thinking and time. Ending the poscast would mean a chance to concentrate on my writing, which does need its own focus.
Big D! How’s it going? I’ve just been busy with work and other things after work. Been just a nonstop deluge of busy-ness, but I’ve been checking in here. Gonna make a point of being more active here.
Four-day weekend coming up because of Thanksgiving, so that’ll be nice.
I hope you’re well.
Wow, I don’t know how this fine site could have escaped my attention for years.
Sorry about the recent radio silence, Dennis. I’m in that obsessive tweaking phase before my gig. I think most of the tweaking is done, and I can actually do some practicing.
Love the Tambellini gallery a few days ago, will definitely explore further. I actually like Joy Williams’ Honored Guest better than Future of Souls, but that’s a high bar.
Bill
Hey Dennis,
Loved this piece, fucking crazy! I’m assuming this was probably somewhat of an influence on The Sluts?
Vinted (the reselling app) is finally available in Ireland and it has free shipping (although I don’t know if it’s just for next few days cause of it’s launch or just has it in general) so I’ve been buying a lot of cheap stuff! Jackets, hats, shirts, the main thing that got me though was the amount of people selling cheap Switch games. Got myself Mario Odyssey for €28, and the only *downside* is the box is in French, but frankly i don’t really care. You should check it out, most of the sellers are in France. I almost got Metroid Dread for €22, but I’m gonna just get it around Christmas instead so I have that to play then. I finally completed Silent Hill as well! Though I got one of the ‘Bad’ endings as it turns out I completely missed this side mission that rescues a character. Gonna have the replay it to get all the ending; I can’t decide if I should go through it again now, or move on to Silent Hill 2. I’ve been using this website ‘Retroachievements’ that adds achievements to emulated games. I’m a bit of a freak when it comes to the idea of 100% a game, I think I got it from playing Lego games as a child. I remember getting the elusive 100.00% on Lego Star Wars: The Clone Wars and I’ve never been the same since. I’ve been meaning to play through the Paper Mario games. I know that they’re somewhat similar to the Mario and Luigi series, which I loved.
I ended up not going to the poetry night: when I got back to my house, there was apparently some mildew growing in the corner of my couch and we had to sort that out, and that frankly killed any desire to go out. I’m gonna go to the next one though, and read out a short story I’ve done, if you want to read it sometime I can send it on, it’s only like 1000 words.
I’m good friends with the ones who have run it and I’m really happy for them, it’s become an established part of the literary community in Cork.
Anyway, I’m gonna try and do some studying for the day. Aside from my dissertation and creative writing class, my main two modules are ‘Modern & Contemporary American Literature’ and ‘Contemporary Irish Writing’. For the first one we did a lot of the Harlem Renaissance and Hemingway + Fitzgerald, and now we’re moving onto Shirley Jackson and Angels in America by Tony Kushner. Contemporary Irish Writing was split between Poetry, Plays, and Novels; the Poetry section was fascinating, mainly because most of the poetry was centered around The Troubles. Being of the ‘peace baby’ generation (though I’m from Cork and far away from any of the actual Troubles) that were born after it ended, it’s a part of Irish history that is both so formative of the world I grew up in, and yet so distant and intangible. Some of the poets we studied were Derek Mahon, Meadbh McGuckian, Paula Meehan, though my favourite and the one I focused on was Michael Longley. He wrote about the violence and horrors by focusing on the small scale and the intimate domestic life. His poem ‘Wounds’ from 1973 was my favourite, as it details his Dad’s history in WWI fighting with the British, and comparing that to the constant death of civilians in Belfast. All the stories in the second half are real events and it’s harrowing.
^ sorry for that long spiel! When I get into something I can’t stop myself from rambling. I’m gonna write out some notes and perhaps write some Substack pieces I’ve been ruminating on.
Stephen 🙂
I like the Best Deaths video’s featuring Josh (Josh Bensan) the most. He always had style, his performance was always beyond the regular “twink” even in his vanilla scenes. You wouldn’t have any of his best deaths videos would you?
Fucking brilliant post, Dennis. Performativity is *so* queer, and sex is to death what salt is to caramel. Some of the guys are cute – Jamie, Josh, and the Cowboy have caught my eye – and the whole thing is like, funny, in a weird, absurdly ridiculous way. I think it’s the recurring characters – who the fuck is Mr. Jenkins? How is Dr. Z in such steady employment (such enviable job security!)? And why the fuck is Pogo there? And the wording, like ‘he looked great on the torture rack!’ or ‘thanks for that horrifying scream!’ and stuff, off-handedly complimenting morbid stuff. And a random sidenote; in gay porn, buzzcuts are so common, and I wonder why. I’d prefer more hair on heads than there seems to be out there, though that may be my long-haired self’s bias speaking. Hope that’s not subconscious narcissism.
Not so many hours today, alas. I need way more sleep in general, and it wasn’t a great morning. I was shaky and on edge and nervous/anxious about school stuff and had just a *little* cry but after a slow afternoon I’m feeling better, thank fuck. It’s been super blustery over here what with Storm Burt (Bert?) but today was dry and the nice kind of cold. Hip, hip, hurray for writing! I need to do more of it, damn it! What are you working on at the moment, writing-wise? If I’m allowed to enquire. OOH and I finished Don Quixote today, finally!
Aw, getting sent books sounds awesome. Free books! Money-wise, at least, maybe they expect reviews or your validation, or something. How often are those books you’re sent actually any good? I wish I knew which of these publishing houses and what have you are the hip/trendy ones. I like Picador. And what does ‘daring’ writing look like these days, when so much has already been done/said?
Noted. Last film I watched was 2008’s Brideshead Revisited, but that was mainly just because I love Ben Whishaw. Three days off spent reading Beckett and Kane – *so* happy go lucky – and now I’ve a week of college/class/homework ahead of me. I don’t know what your average day looks like, either. Just, like, reading, writing, going around France? Sounds so lovely!
Again, great post, see you tomorrow Dennis!
P.S. nat, sorry to hear November and October sucked, but your story about internet communication and online communities sounds like JUST the kind of cool stuff I’m super into. I love writing about/with chatrooms. Hope it goes well, sounds awesome!!!
Diesel Clementine, that is such a cool username.
Lucas, I’ve watched (not especially intently) all of Monogatari. If you want to waste time, it’s the best anime has to offer.
and jay, hihi! I’ve Nick Drake to thank for making me try out some *really* funky tunings on guitar. Understandable, Eva is pretty big in with the teens now these days. CSM is great, very comic-book-y stuff. I mean the Closer cover with the grey bodies and bursts of paint, this one: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81cJt5yKsNL.jpg. I listened to that Sigur Ros album whilst studying – my fav tracks were Olsen Olsen, and Staralfur. When I was still into videogames, I did *not* mess about on Terraria, I knew so much about it! I’ve Foucault’s Pendulum on my bookshelf (unread, unsurprisingly). Love that you sticky-note and annotate your books – what do you write? I’ve only just started doodling and picking out bits I like in books/plays/poems, it helps engage me. Hope you’re well! :]
Hey James! Yeah, Nick Drake’s stuff is really crazy in terms of tuning, but it never feels like his technical skill is the main thing he’s trying to show off, so it never gets annoying. Yes, I agree, I totally totally love that cover of Closer. Staralfur is amazing – it’s by far my favourite by them. Hmmm, for annotation of books, I often try and note recurring phrases, or important events. House of Leaves is probably ideal for that, I ended up marking every page with a marking that indicated there was something sinister on the page, and it ended up making the book a lot more re-readable. Hope you’re well too, and the storm isn’t hitting too awfully!
That said, I have no memory of Nick Drake being easy to play. But it’s been ages since I tried – I’d still probably be humbled. I have Bryter Layter on CD. High five for shared taste in great covers B] and Sigur Ros tracks! It was that brass that won me over. I think you might’ve shoved me into a post-rock groove for the next few days, instrumental stuff is good for studying. Been listening to Explosions In The Sky today. When I annotate – because I don’t really do it outside of my texts for academia – I just underline or mark out stuff. Sometimes I draw love hearts or cats or thunderclouds or whatever’s relevant, or faces that reflect my reatcion, just makes it fun for me to flip through a book when I’m done, proof it’s MINE. Flipping through my copy of the Book of Disquiet would make me cringe if I were to do it, probably. I *do* have House of Leaves. Will. Read. Some. Day…
Sent from the top of a tree, the water is about to flood me, goodbye (actually, I am on a sofa. Dry and safe. Woop.)
I indulge too much in replies, sorry if I’ve been too wordy. See you tomorrow!
Oh, this is crazy! This has actually kind of put my mind at ease, I think I once saw a really low-res version of one of these videos on a shock site when I was younger, so it’s nice to know that wasn’t “real”, haha. It’s super cool they edit the footage, I would’ve thought most people would’ve wanted the video to seem as un-staged as possible, but it’s possible I don’t really understand the impulse of this stuff. It’s funny to see a Morrison’s plastic bag in one of these videos too, I’m always a really big fan of thoughtlessly produced stuff being used in very personal / intense ways.
Always nice to swap over from a game/book/anything you’re not enjoying! Hmm, yeah, it was a really cool experience, it’s nice (as someone who tends to overthink absolutely everything) to not think super-consciously for a few hours. It’s a really cool phenomenon, and the community surrounding it seem really interesting.
Actually, it did end up with me going down a huge drone rabbithole – oh my god, some of the writing that community inspires is astoundingly interesting, intellectually. I’m sure the next Bataille is writing about being turned into a robot by his boyfriend, haha. I read one piece of writing that was about the relationship between a very reluctant sadist, and the “drone” that used to be his unpleasant ex, and honestly, it got me far more emotional than I expected to – all of the writing has this really wonderful, explicitly stated, slightly autistic set of phrases, like “Me being in pain causes you pleasure. You being in pleasure causes me pleasure. Me being in pain causes me pleasure”, ad infinitum, it’s really, really powerful stuff.
P.S., if anyone’s curious, the site’s homepage is still available on the wayback machine here, although none of the videos are still up. Cloudflare seems (?) to be back to normal for me, by the way!
Do you remember Extreme Kidnapping, which would “abduct” and torture clients for a fee? I fell into a rabbit hole looking up the traces of their presence a few days ago. (If memory serves, Dan Savage, among other journalists, hired their services and wrote an article about it for the Village Voice.) Their website no longer exists, and their YouTube channel hasn’t been updated in a decade, but they’re still going strong on FB.
GNX is a lot more immediately accessible than MR. MORALE. Instead of heavy introspection, Kendrick cuts loose and has a good time bragging over upbeat tracks for most of it.
UMBRELLAS has been restored once again, and it’s getting re-released to US theaters next month for its 60th anniversary.
Hey Dennis, Hope you are well!
Was talking about euthanasia today in relation to declining birth rates // today’s post in parts reminds me of some sort of imagined euthanasia pornography. \\ I like the ones that lack gore, and have some aspects of a completely medicalized fantasy. I always liked the hospital as a kid, even though most people reasonably had an aversion to it due to probably an instinctual sense of contagion. But, having people take care of you and your life being in other peoples hands always was mediative for me. Until I had to visit my grandmother somewhat recently and really realized people die there. In the screen caps chosen from Bestdeaths.com it’s interesting how unclear at what point the star is supposed to be dead, and instead it seems like they are always in the process of dying. Even though they are all blushing and fresh faced young guys. Can definitely see how this is up your alley, pornography looked better with earlier digital cameras I think.
In response to what you said about Serge Lutens and other topics. For some reason I like injecting myself in spaces that I don’t belong, especially standoffish luxury spaces in Paris, it’s like I’m some sort of spy. Though I also like leaving them quickly if too much attention is given to me. I speak that kind of very practical French too, but I work here at a cafe and sometimes feel like such an idiot for not knowing the language. I adore it, but it’s so hard. Have you ever seriously tried to learn? I used to resist learning on purpose due to some imagined dedication to English, but now I think I’m just too lazy. Also, love theme parks, I plan on going to Disneyland Paris (never been) next year when I come back from the US for the holidays. How is Holland? Have you been there before? In my mind Holland is a sort of intermediary space, that I don’t have much interest in, the Netherlands feel a little godless in an uncool way to me, but I bet it’s beautiful and has a charm. I was in Sceaux over the weekend, the fountains are still running in the park. Also what’s the film about? Do you plan on doing a screening of it? You should. Also do you have any copies of flunker? Or do you know where it’s possible to get a copy here? Would like to read it.
Hey. Wow, a curious post. Do you think Roman from ‘Permanent Green Light’ would contact these people if he had the funds? I’m interested in what sorts of people commission these videos and if it’s only a fetish thing or something else. Sorry if the PGL comparison was dumb, but I think there is a thing here about turning death into a work of art?
My week is hopefully more toned down than last week in certain ways. I got really overexcited last week because of my writing and got a bit emotionally fatigued somewhere (I’m fine now). Hopefully I can keep a bit more of a balance or something. I’m having mood swings because the HRT is really kicking in. I’m not an emotional wreck but I’ve been crying at random things that usually wouldn’t get me going, and the next moment I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and then suddenly the most exhausted I’ve ever been. This sounds crazy but the other day after I’d been writing for several hours I had this incredible pang of fear that I was doing something really dangerous, and I had no idea why. I was fine the next day so I guess it’s just the mood swings.
Anyway, other than that I’m just getting really excited about Christmas. I don’t know where you stand on the holiday. For me, the day itself is not what I care about, it’s the leadup, and how people let their aesthetic guard down and allow themselves to appreciate the gaudy. I also think that Santa Claus is the greatest work of art that the human imagination has collectively concocted.