The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Webdriver Torso is either something incredibly sinister or nothing at all. *

* (restored)

 

‘On 23 September 2013 at 14:45, YouTube user Webdriver Torso quietly uploaded a video. The mysterious 11-second sequence of red and blue rectangles could easily have been lost, unexplained and unappreciated among YouTube’s plethora of kittens and music videos. But 28 minutes later Webdriver uploaded an almost identical video, and another an hour after that, and another, until eight months later – apparently happy with nearly 80,000 clips – they fell silent, with 236 hours of video to their name. At the peak, over Christmas, Webdriver was uploading a video on average every two minutes, presumably in between opening presents. Webdriver also never slept, uploading about 400 videos on most days, every day Monday to Sunday. However, new videos began appearing again on May 2, 2014 – causing conspiracy theorists to speculate on what the clips are.

‘Boing Boing reader Enkidu was among the first to suggest the videos were a code of some sorts. Enkidu said they were modern-day equivalents of the radio ‘numbers stations’ used during the Cold War. A numbers station is a shortwave radio frequency used to post unusual broadcasts of lists of numbers or morse code-style messages. They were first used shortly after the Second World War and the broadcasts were made using typically female voices, often created by speech synthesis, and transmitted in a range of languages. It is widely assumed they were used to send encrypted messages to spies. In addition to the changing shapes and sizes of the rectangles, each YouTube clip has a soundtrack of different notes that change pitch.

 

‘Taking it a step further, Stephen Beckett from BBC Click used the YouTube platform to discover that two of the videos suggest the user is from France. These videos were the only ones in the collection that didn’t follow the usual formula; the first was a cartoon clip from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which is only viewable in France. The second was a film of the Eiffel Tower light show followed by a brief shot of a person’s face and the description: ‘Matei is highly intelligent.’ These marry up with the fact the videos use the colours of the French flag, and some theorists have suggested it could have been used as a way of French spies to communicate.

 

‘Wired magazine was the first to report on the clips in February. Soon after readers began to suggest Webdriver was related in some way to the Selenium WebDriver tool used to test websites. But a member of the development team has since denied these claims. Another theory suggests the channel could be a code breaking challenge in which difficult puzzles are created by anonymous groups, designed to test and recruit cryptographers. The first 420 videos are entitled ‘aqua’ before the names switch to a mix of number and letters, such as ‘tmput21k0’ – the first code posted on 1 October 2013.

‘Earlier this month, The Guardian thought they had explained the mystery as a series of test patterns used by a European telecom company, but that turned out to be a dead end. Now all eyes are on Google as Webdriver Torso conspiracy theorists claim to have traced the channel back to Google’s offices in Zurich. Is Google developing a sentient YouTube channel that will one day rise up and enslave us all? Is Webdriver Torso secretly communicating with extraterrestrial life? Is it issuing commands to brainwashed operatives à la The Manchurian Candidate? Or maybe, just maybe, is this just some mundane technical exercise that Google isn’t bothering to explain because conspiracy theories are hilarious?’ — collaged

 

(continued)

 

Weird Negatives-Webdriver Torso’s Like
Strange negatives show up. To date, per Webdriver Torso’s Channel, only one “like” was registered and it was for this video: tmpdKHvbS So, being curious, I decided to play around with it so it could be discussed. No offense to Webdriver Torso is intended, nor any infringement to the beeps and whistles or graphic displays.

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. If anyone’s interested, there’s a long, very smart essay (in French) about my novel ‘Le Fol marbre’ (The Marbled Swarm) just published in the journal Glad! if you want to read it. Here. ** Oscar Pedersen, Hi, Oscar. I found your message on Facebook and wrote back to you there. Thanks! ** liquoredgoat, Hey, man of the last 24 hours. My pleasure, my honor, and that’s what I thought too (about your Manson piece). No, Jojo was referring to the film ‘Jojo Rabbit’, which I haven’t seen and may not now. Have I not restored the Maddie Ziegler post? Huh. If I haven’t, I’ll find and refresh it, yes. Thanks and big congrats, D! ** David Ehrenstein, An excellent Sonbert film, yes, I agree! ** Bill, I think someone could become very rich if they launched a chain of Sudanese falafel places here or there (USA) or somewhere. I think I tried watching ‘Tigers Are Not Afraid’ and turned it off, if memory serves. ** Nick Toti, Hi, N. I’m pretty much the same as you about Xmas. These days my Xmas day is just eating part of a buche, taking a walk in eerily deserted Paris, and doing what I usually do except without stores to buy food and cigarettes in. I’m very curious to see that new documentary of yours. I don’t think I know Sigmund Snopek III at all, but I’ll go find out. ** Sypha, Ha ha. Okay, do as the doctors instructed, obviously. Sorry bud. Oh, and thank you so much for your Xmas card! It’s great! I’m glad I decided to let you figure out what to festoon it with. Yeah, thanks, James, and, if I sent cards, you’d get #1. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, B. Yes, same deal here in France re: the Texan loot. ** Ferdinand, Hi. Oh, right, Ed White is taught in college. That makes sense, he being ‘the great gray gay eminence’ or whatever. Okay, I totally get why you’d be into his stuff then. That makes sense. I guess it is a bygone era. Strange to think of the literary part of it that way, but, yes, for sure. I definitely don’t miss the days when White’s writer clique The Violet Quill was treated like queer literature’s Supreme Court or something. I have not been to the Hujar show yet, which is weird since the Jeu de Paume is two blocks from where I live, but it is in my imminent plans. Maybe even today. And I think I’ll see the Bacon show at the Pompidou though I’m not a giant Bacon fan. But, yeah, that’s in my cards for when/if the metro starts working again. ** Steve Erickson, Yikes! That’s dramatic. I hope the plumber was at your door bright and early today. I’ve heard mostly almost nothing but meh about ‘Les Miserables’ even though critics seem to like it, especially in the States, but then they like all kinds of professional, ‘well meaning’ crap. ** Right. For some strange reason, I decided to restore this oddball post from ages ago. So have at it via your respective methodologies. See you tomorrow.

9 Comments

  1. rewritedept

    d-

    hey you! how’s tricks?

    things are pretty good here. i’m sure you saw, but my interview with jeff went live at x-ray. it’s here if you feel like sharing it with the world. i am working on transcribing a bunch of interviews with DC-area musicians to go up at my new(-ish) blog soon. will send links when they’re up.

    anyway. winter started with a bang up here in bear. been very busy working and doing responsible grownup shit like paying my rent. i got a couple new pair of glasses because i broke my old ones at a subhumans show a couple months back. it’s nice to actually be able to see clearly.

    i’ve been going to pasadena sporadically to cook. won’t be down any time in the near future, but maybe next summer if i’m down that way and you’re in country we can meet up.

    anyway, i’m gonna try to go back to bed. busy day tomorrow. i have to talk to my chef about getting promoted and then i get a nice day working my burger counter and whatnot. hope all is well with you.

    talk soon. love.

    -c.

  2. David Ehrenstein

    Well I’m a great Bacon fan. His work is incanny in being abstract and concrete at the same tim, It never fails to astonish me over and over. Of curse art of this has to do with the fact that I got to know him a bit when I was a guard at the metropolitan Museum. The other guards were terrified of him. He used to come in early in the morning and sort of “commune” with his own paintings — look at them as if they were the work of someone else. He catted with me about the New York scene and I told him the best leather bars to go to, which he greatly appreciated. The last time I saw him was when Bill and I were in Paris. I forget exatly where we were walking — somewhere on the left bank — when he suddenly appeared and started to cruise Bill. I said “Oh Hello Mr. Bacon!” A truly magic moment. John Maybury’s bio[ic Love is the Devil captures him perfectly, as does of course Performance

  3. _Black_Acrylic

    @ David, fantastic Bacon anecdotage!

    It may be from 2013, but Webdriver Torso could well be world domination via Russian Constructivism. Meanwhile I’m still in Leeds enjoying family time. Yesterday me and the parents went to Leeds Tropical World to see ibis, tarantulas, catfish and other exotic creatures in a setting I’d not encountered since childhood.

  4. Montse

    Hi, Dennis!

    Sorry, I couldn’t make it to yesterday’s post.

    I’ve found a few clips of ‘THiaLH’ on YouTube. But I see what you mean. If you saw it now, it would probably disappoint you. Is your novel ready to be published then? I’m going to try and read the article on ‘Le Fol marbre’.

    It’s a shame that Filmin didn’t end up bringing you here, but maybe some festival could invite you. Like Sitges with ‘Like Cattle Towards Glow’.

    About GbV, although you missed them in London, I assume you must have seen them some other time, right?

    Thanks for guiding me to the Bûche de Noël day! All those possibilities… It’s insane and I’m drooling. Paris is the best for this kind of stuff. I think my favorites are L’Ours Blanc and Chilling Christmas. Which one did you get?

    Love,

  5. Sypha

    Ha, I remember when Webdriver Torso was a “thing.”

    Dennis, glad to hear you got the card okay. I remembered way back in the blog’s 1st year you had a post about psychedelic bands that started off good before losing the track, and I remember being intrigued by the cover art of the Ultimate Spinach one (yes, my memory goes back very far). So I decided to draw that. After I did the card I ordered the CD off Amazon and I liked it!

  6. Nick Toti

    Hi Dennis. The best resource on Snopek is the book “Adventures in Avant-Pop” by Bob Mielke. Bob is an old friend of mine (he was my thesis adviser in grad school) and we’re collaborating on the movie. He’d been a longtime fan of Snopek (both are from Milwaukee, where Snopek still lives and does most of his performing) and had already done all the research for his book, so I recruited him to co-direct the movie out of unadulterated laziness on my part. Anyway, his book is as good of a guide to Snopek’s music as you’re likely to find (well, until my movie is done, of course).

  7. Corey Heiferman

    This brought a smile to my face, thank you. In the grand conspiracy there must be some connection between WebDriver Torso and zombo.com

    I’ve hit an angsty period in my studies: the best sorts of problems. I’ve been learning a ton and helping out on lots of projects but don’t have much of a direction for my own work. It’s hard enough for me to do anything I don’t fully believe in, let alone something artistic that involves enlisting other people’s labor.

    I’d like to go in the direction of assembling a troupe to mix planned and improvised elements–a combination of an “Out 1” story about theater group dynamics and actual street theater. I’ve already met some people who could be good for this but it will take time. This is especially important to me because I didn’t arrive to film school with a script that I was dying to make into a film. I’m not even sure I believe in having a script, and I’m not even sure about the need for fancy equipment or even synchronised sound…

    As goes with angst all of my habits and interests are in total flux, to the point where every little decision and occurrence feels both deeply meaningful and like something I’m trying for kicks. I’m trying to cherish this sensation but I thought I’d outgrown it and I fear it because last time around I dug myself into a hole that took years to get out of.

    Wim Wenders spoke in Tel Aviv. It was encouraging to hear him say that in film school he didn’t know what exactly he’d be filming until the actors arrived to the location.

    I’ll have to keep a lookout for Sudanese felafel. There are lots of Sudanese in Tel Aviv and lots of felafel so there must be some Sudanese-style felafel somewhere.

  8. Steve Erickson

    Unfortunately, the plumber showed up 5 hours late today, which was a total pain because I had to cancel my plans to stay home and wait for him! But now I can take a shower again without flooding my neighbors on the ground level.

    It looks definite that the voice-over for my film will be recorded on Jan. 18th or 19th.

    I’ve watched several videos about Webdriver Torso, and the consensus is that it’s probably some kind of internal YouTube project that trains the algorithm or tests their software, but has there even been a definite solution? Maybe it’s an arg with a very long con?

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