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‘I began collecting condiment packets in November of 2003. Initially the purpose of the collection was a more practical one. I came to the conclusion that ketchup was no longer a reasonable thing to spend money on. A handful of packets here and there would do just fine. I began to pick up other condiments as well. I stopped at a variety of locations in order to gather new types of condiments. It was around this time that I discovered how many different condiment packets existed. A collector by nature, the only logical thing for me to do was attempt to get every different packet design I possibly could.
‘I carefully remove the contents of my packets by making an incision along one of the short seams on the back. (I prefer the righthand or bottom seam.) I rinse the inside of the packets thoroughly to ensure all sauce is expelled. (I employ a drop of dish soap for oily condiments.) I then wait until the packets are completely dry before I place them in baseball card cases to preserve them cleanly and safely for many generations.
‘My collection has grown quickly since its inception, largely due to generous packet donations from my family and friends. If you think you have a packet that I do not, then please consider sending it to me.
‘With so many ways to package sauce, it is important to set some guidelines when you decide to start a collection. I made these decisions at the very beginning to give my collection a certain uniform appearance. The following rules make the collection more aesthetically pleasing and enjoyable to maintain.
1. Only squeezable “tear-off-the-corner” style packets are included. (Dipping tubs, creamers, and butter tubs cannot be preserved to my liking, and are easily crushed or spilled.)
2. No spices, salts, sugars, or other “dry” accountremon; generally found in paper packaging. There are far too many different sugar packets, and many other collectors are focusing their efforts on them. It is my belief that including such items harms the fundamental nature of this collection. We do sauce packets.
3. Minor design variations absolutely count as new unique packets.’ — TCPM
I Have a Condiment Packet Problem
Preparing packets for protective plastic.
Automatic Condiment Packaging Machine
Visit The Condiment Packet Museum
Ketchup World: Packets from Around the World
The Amazing Ketchup Packet Bear
The Sugar Packet Collector’s Page
Liesbeth Vergouwe’s Sugar Packet Collection
The Association for Dressings and Sauces
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p.s. Hey. To those having trouble commenting, at least some people are having luck by commenting in ‘incognito’ mode. You might try that if you haven’t already. ** jay, Hi, so sorry about the comment mess. Personally, I thought Bjorn Andersen came off very well in the documentary. He seemed eccentric but very level headed and wise. I’ve never tried VR with gaming, only in art situations and on roller coaster retrofitted with a VR makeover. I have a mild-ish motion sickness issue, like I can’t be on boats for instance, and I think VR triggers that. Nice that you so enjoyed ‘Mysterious Skin’. My friend Scott Heim, the book’s author, got very lucky with that adaptation. Okay, glad you’re at peace with the injections. Glad you’re a tough guy. I’m going to see if I can scrounge up a Guro post, you bet. Have a super swell day. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. I definitely think ‘CG’ is the best place to start with Gaddis, yes. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Cool, yeah, it’s a really good novel. He didn’t vanish unfortunately, quite the opposite. Everyone else involved with the film are in Zac’s and my corner, but the person in question is literally having some kind of mental breakdown that has made him want to destroy the film and everyone, and, legally, there seems to be nothing we can do about it. It’s a very ugly and difficult situation. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen or what we can do. We’re just trying to move forward with the film in every way we can and hoping he’ll give up or die. I will pass along my ‘Fall’ thoughts. Ha, gondolier … I wonder if that’s a pleasant job. Hard to tell. Love melting himself down, stuffing his tiny liquid form into a plastic packet, and mutating himself into your favorite condiment, which is … ?, G. ** Bill, You made it through. The Gaddis is short, and that really helps, I agree, and so you get his great thing without having to set weeks or months aside. So, so wish I could attend your gig. Looks amazing! Everyone, Should you be reading this in the vicinity of Berlin, the great Bill Hsu is participating in a gig tonight that should be really spectacular, and I very strongly encourage you to be there if you possibly can. Here are the deets. ** wolf, Wolf! No way! Old buddy! Major pal! So, so great to see you! I’ve been thinking a lot about you! I can’t say that I disagree with you about Gaddis. Nope, no argument at all. Oh my gosh, how are you? What’s going on? Maybe we should do one our famous Zooms? What do you think? Yay! Mega love, Dennis ** Diesel Clementine, Your test worked!!!! ** Måns BT, Hi, Måns! Thanks so much about the film. It’s super extremely bad right now, but we’re fighting back as hard as we can. Cool, yes, I will be thrilled to hear about the ‘Papaya’ progress and to try to say helpful things whenever you’re ready. Wow, he seems to like it? Cool dude. No, I haven’t played ‘Disco Elysium’. I’ll go look a whatever footage or trailer I can find. Thanks so much. Nollning sounds truly horrifying. I haven’t heard of traditions like that before or elsewhere. There’s this whole fraternity ‘welcoming’ abuse thing in the US, but that’s very specific to the Frat guy members, and you only hear about it when some dude accidentally gets killed, which happens. Watch your back. Stay alive whatever it takes. I do like Moodyson’s films, yes. I should see more of them. I haven’t seen that one aka ‘Hole in My Heart’ as English speakers know it. ‘Lilya 4-Ever’ is my theater collaborator Gisele Vienne’s all-time favorite film. I should do a Moodyson blog Day. Strange I haven’t. I will post-haste. Awesome, stay in one piece today, and report back on the madness. xoxo, Dennis ** Oscar, I’m so happy that incognito identity worked! Even if it erased your lovely spiral. You won’t believe what I saw when I looked down at my morning bowl of alphabet soup just now. I barely believed it myself, so I took a photo. Nice book/price score. Thank you for the Eurostar offer. Maybe if you brought a hit squad along, that could work. I will look for any points of light in the gloomy shape of today with your kind encouragement. You, on the other hand, squint at the brightness of your next 24. ** Right. Sort of apologies in advance, but I had the strange inclination to semi-prank you with the restored, very old and ridiculous post up there today. Seems that I was in a mood. If you can find delight therein, that would be optimal. See you tomorrow.
Now available in North America 
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Ooh Condiments Day! Last night I had takeaway fish and chips (with my top condiment curry sauce, not in a packet though) for the 1st time in literally years. From the Skyliner = best chippy in Leeds according to Tripadvisor. Very nice it was too and while I realise this may not be your thing, they do have a veggie menu as well.
Hi!!
The film situation sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare. Obviously, I’m a very, very far-removed outsider, but I just can’t understand why he would be so determined to destroy your work – something that’s supposed to be his own work as well, in a way. I’m really sorry, Dennis. I hope you’ll find a solution.
Anita found a “come and become a gondolier” post yesterday, and it said they offer a yearly salary of 150,000 euros. I don’t know if this could possibly be true or how pleasant or unpleasant the job is, but… I guess love went for the money, and I can’t blame him, haha.
Hm, love would either have to become some kind of Caesar salad dressing or this very low-quality jam/jelly thing I seem to like for whatever reason. Thank you, love! Love believing everything can be made edible with enough ketchup, Od.
Oh wow, seeing that $200 Szechuan Sauce packet brings back that weird period in 2017 when everybody collectively went insane about it, what a weird nostalgia trip. Actually, the guy I’m seeing at the moment has a really bizarre condiment neurosis – he actually takes back ketchup, mustard, vinegar packets, et all from restaurants, and puts them in the fridge. It’s not like, compulsive, or anything, he always uses them, we just have this one weird drawer of MacDonalds ketchup.
Ohhh yes, I think unfortunately VR might always be a bit awkward for you then, sadly. What was that VR rollercoaster, that sounds fascinating. Yeah, I think Andersen did come off well, I think it’s just a period of his life he doesn’t really like being talked about, unsurprisingly.
Oh wow, sorry you’re so humble I often forget you know the people I’m talking about in real life! Yeah, it’s a really really good movie, it was such a treat to see it on the big screen. I’ll check out the book, actually.
Well, thanks about the injections, but I have it very easy compared to a lot of people. Other than that, I’ve not really got much on. Actually, I’ve been playing a really really interesting game, called Signalis, it’s a sort of Tarkovsky – esque Resident Evil game, with a really good visual style – there are a bunch of actual paintings, live action film, etc. Anyway, I’ll probably finish that today, see yaaa!!!!!!!
i am currently considering using the term skibidi in my current writing wip, i think this is a good symbol for where i am at right now.
currently, unsick and well! got reading the days i missed, really good gaddis and renfro posts. the interview was great, kind of reminds me of one of my muses. my muse got the sort of zen wisdom you get from being troubled — or sometimes being the trouble. he’s cool, thankfully he doesn’t read anything so thank fuck he won’t realize how much of him i’m putting in the writing.
gonna get back on the reading ladder, i’m a bit frumstrated with my reading speed. nothing too major, it is just funny my friends asking my pov on a book they finished in a week, and i’m still at the first half or third. oh well. so it goes.
uh, i think that should be all. i’ll add notes about the museum actually i think, if not, point and laugh. or chuckle, or maybe just point. actually don’t point, you probably aren’t a pointing person.
Dennito! Yes, “famous zoom” sounds good, I shall ping you forthwith. Me, I am a mustard kinda critter. Any mustard. And “Hi” from Marc! Xx
Thanks for the plug, Dennis. Just got home, pretty exhausted. I have to pet the cat enough so he’ll let me go to bed.
Sorry to hear the saga with the film continues. Argh.
Bill
Hey. I may be living in a Buster Keaton film. I’m perhaps the first person to go to a viewing at the same house twice. It’s because I went through the person who’s room it was the first time and through the landlord the second time. The landlord also lied and said that there were four rooms available when there was only one. I had to grit my teeth and avoid eye contact with the people who live there who had seen me before. One day I’ll laugh about it, and I was somehow prepared for something bad to happen from the start so I don’t feel so bad as I normally would. Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll have to up my budget if I want to find a room soon. I have some money saved up so it’s not such a big deal, though it is annoying.
I finished ‘The Sot-Weed Factor’. In sooth, I liked some segments m’re than oth’rs, but I still liked t a lot. The endless disguises and personalities pretending to beest oth’r personalities int’rest’d me a lot because all of the p’rsonality ‘r individuality is totally fragmented and there’s nay stability to aught. Mr. Barth is a most wondrous humorist as well, and the volume doesn’t ev’r feeleth liketh a novelty for the nature of its pastiche. I also liketh yond it’s essentially a tome without a plot, but through it’s episodic f’rm t can maketh the illusion bestowing one, and I’m continually int’rest’d by how writers can fuck with plot and trojan h’rse a s’rt of dis’rd’r through a vague guise of plot. Anon, if thee may excuse me, I seemeth to has’t cometh down with the pox.
hi dennis! good morning since I’m writing this at 6am again. I hope your last few days have been better, at least marginally. the wednesday meeting thing I told you about didn’t happen because the therapist got the date wrong, it’s next week, and she didn’t tell me until I was at her office which was annoying but ultimately okay I guess. I’ve also started reading ‘the waves’ but not much else has happened, I’m just trying to hang on. have a nice day!