DC’s ostensibly favorite Home Haunts of the Halloween season 2023 (North American edition) *

* (Halloween countdown post #8)

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Mount Mayhem: Psykosis (Phoenix, AZ)
‘In 2022, our bayou inhabitants wrestled with their demons and this year, they are now manifesting the resulting psychosis in a myriad of nightmares, real or unreal, trickery of the mind or simply broken reality. The psyche is clever and what is real or imagined can be impossible to decipher. From hallucinations of whispering voices and visual delusions to the paranoia of being hunted, stalked, experimented on…… the mental torment makes itself known in this season’s Mount Mayhem Haunt, so prepare yourself and don’t let your brain play tricks on you……’

 

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DEEPWELLS HAUNTED MANSION- FAMILY FUNERAL! (Saint James, NY)
‘A member of our cherished Deepwells Family has passed away and the house is open for all to come and pay their respects to our dearly departed. Do you dare a visit to these haunted halls? At Deepwells Mansion there is a fine line between the living and the dead and many will not be able to tell the difference! Upon arrival your will be given a key of entry and exit. Hold onto it, or you may never leave! If you are lucky enough to escape this House of Horrors with 16 rooms of unrelenting terror, then take a chance with a journey down the Twisted Fairytale Trail. Tread carefully as the paranormal is commonplace here and all manner of creatures and demonic forces lurk in this Haunted Forest. Don’t go alone!’

 

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Psycho Circus at Cimarron (Boise, ID)
‘Scared of clowns? Does the sound of carnival music give you anxiety? Do you Love to be frozen with fear? Well then” come on down ” we’ve got the perfect home haunt for you! The psycho Circus at Cimarron is a terrifying nightmare of clowns, games and colors.’

 

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VB House of Torment (Virginia Beach, VA)
‘This is a fantastic neighborhood production, highly recommended for anyone in the area but certainly would be worth a trip to check it out! Very thoughtfully designed and full-grown scares. Scared the heck out of my 9 year old! Very well done…’

 

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Novak Manor (Milwaukee)
‘You will never believe that this is our home!! Every year the Novak residence transforms into Novak Manor! We are huge lovers of all things haunted attraction related and also really love our community. What started as just Halloween decorations has taken off into a full blown haunt! The walkthrough is both indoors and outdoors with animatronics, flesh-rotting scent diffusers and volunteer actors dressed up and ready to scare. Hours are from 6 to 10 p.m. every Friday and Saturday and from 4 to 10 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 31.’

 

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The Salisbury Woods (Salisbury, NH)
‘One actress had me going good when I walked into her kitchen. I see a girl slaving away around a stove and sink with bits of human flesh all over the place. She turned to me and screamed, ‘Honey, dinner is here!’ referring to me! ‘I didn’t think we were having fresh meat, I was already thawing out the old stuff’ referring to all the chopped pieces of dead rotting flesh around the kitchen. It was such a great line and still very early into the walkthrough so my expectations were set high for more like her. She even followed me into the next room where her grandmother was somehow floating above her bed. She screamed for help and needed me to call for someone. Awesome acting for two scenes! Maybe somewhere in the middle of the trail I came around a corner and marveled at one of their bigger sets I was not expecting to see. I was well enough distracted and in a prime state for a good pop-out scare although a simple jump scare wouldn’t be so impressive to me at this point. Sorta low hanging fruit in the scare business. To my surprise, I didn’t get any simple scare. An actor came frolicking from around the set marveling at the structure that I was too admiring. ‘Isn’t it wonderful!? Isn’t it splendid!?’ He shouted with glee in almost an old English accent to match the setting. ‘You must go inside! You’ve gotta go see it for yourself it’s beautiful!’ frolicking like a madman around me and sort of guiding me into the large structure. It wasn’t a pop-out scare or even one that was threatening in any way. More of a psychological scare as a glimpse into what I could become if I entered this structure or marveled at it for too long like this man obviously had done. In any case, it was still a pleasant surprise and enjoyable to have a mix of different types of actors.’

 

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Frightmare on Forestview (Crestwood, IL)
‘The mistress of curios – Carrie Minet Been – has brought out her shoebox of doll limbs and heads for her Frightmare on the Patch tour o’ scary houses. The mistress of fright warns us Frightmare has gone digital. Photo props and some digital ghosts have been added.’

 

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Nightfall Orphanage (Seattle)
‘“Bad Children go to The Bad Place.” This refrain was common many years ago when Nightfall Orphanage still stood. Many in the community thought it was merely an archaic form of discipline for unruly children, until they began to realize…that all the children were bad. Mr. Black invites you to step back into the Bad Place, a gateway into the phantasmagoric realm of the Dark Reach that exists in the shadows between worlds. The radiant abyss where spectral echoes of what once was, and what should not be, materialize and take shape. They burned Nightfall Orphanage to the ground years ago…But sometimes evil rises from the ashes, some echoes never really fade, and some shadows never see the light.’

 

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A Haunting in Hollis (Queens Village, NY)
‘Come discover what has been rated by CBS News as the #1 haunted house experience in the Tri-State area with A Haunting in Hollis! This terrifying experience brings the shock and horror of a traditional haunted house with a few twists. Come see what all the yearly hype is about and get your tickets now for the Hollis Haunted House in NY!’

 

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Haunted N Holum (Holum, LA)
‘The Haunted N Holum attraction is one that truly immerses you into your worst nightmares. Eerie music and twists and turns take you through over two and a half acres of wooded land. So come and take a walk through one twisted family’s back yard…if you dare!’

 

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Sweet Dreams Scare House (Easley, SC)
‘Sweet Dreams Scare House is an intense 30-45min walk-through haunted experience! We do not recommend small children, pregnant individuals, or anyone with health conditions such as asthma, epilepsy, high anxiety, or heart problems. Not recommended for guests who have a knee-jerk reaction to hit, those who are easily offended, or anyone with mobility issues, or those that may be pregnant.’

 

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CarnEVIL Haunted Garage Maze (Rogers, MN)
‘In addition to dressing up as a scary clown 🤡and scaring children in my CarnEvil Maze, I am on the board of a nonprofit called Across All Lines/ Firefighters with PTSD.’

 

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Condemned Valley Home Haunt (Bethlehem, PA)
‘My name is Kevin. I’m 17 years old, and me and my dad and best friend do a home haunt located in Bethlehem. Guests who come through say: “This place is better than some professional haunts I’ve been to”. We run one night each year in October. If you want a high quality scare come to Condemned Valley. Each year we get bigger and better. We design and build Condemned Valley all year long to make it one of a kind haunt. The amount of detail and special effects is incredible! This year will be our most intense year yet.’

 

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Oklahoma Asylum (Nowaka, OK)
‘OKLAHOMA ASYLUM IS AN INTERACTIVE HORROR EXPERIENCE. DO NOT WEAR YOUR BEST CLOTHING OR BEST SHOES. COME WITH AN OPEN MIND AND BE READY FOR US TO PUSH THE LIMITS. GROUPS WILL BE TOUCHED. EXPECT BLOOD. DO YOU WANT THE ULTIMATE ASYLUM EXPERIENCE? Add-on a Blood Soaker Special Edition T-shirt so the patients and doctors know you mean serious business. BE SINGLED OUT. BE SEPARATED. MORE BLOOD. MORE INTERACTION. AN UNFORGETTABLE ASYLUM EXPERIENCE.’

 

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The Curley’s Haunt (Wilmington, DE)
‘This is our 12th year doing The Curley’s Haunt. Every year we get more ambitious so come help us meet out goal!. We strive to create the best home haunt in Delaware and we are excited to see everyone come out!’

 

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The Haunted Canoe Trip (Silver Point, TN)
‘Setting the stage for this chilling adventure, The Haunted Canoe Trip takes you into the spooky world of the Caney after dark. This haunting venture is an epic, spine-tingling ghost tour that first wanders to the old cemetery. Stay close as you hear the accounts of a flooded town with lost graves, ghostly encounters, unexplained voices, and eerie sounds. Unlike other staged haunted attractions, this ghost tour first takes you on a walk through an old military recreation base where you’ll quiver at the stories of ghostly hauntings and frightening things that have happened over the past 60 years as you continue slowly down the dark path through the base leading to the water’s edge. Once there, if you’re brave enough, you’ll board your canoe and paddle over the original location of the old 1800s sunken cemetery that is just a mere 15 feet below the water’s surface. This is where many believe lost graves still remain and those spirits trapped just beneath these dark waters of Cemetery Cove.’

 

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Terror on Two Jacks (Round Rock, TX)
‘Nestled within a quiet community in Round Rock is a home that backs up to Brushy Creek Trail. Unbeknownst to the owners at the time of purchase, their property contained the unmarked grave of the Hairy Man of Brushy Creek (YouTube Legend – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIllnJnH8ig). While normally quiet most of the year, the Hairy Man becomes angry during the month of October in anticipation of all the trick or treaters who will once again trespass on his beloved Brushy Creek Trail. Over 12 years ago, the owners, sensitive to the malevolent haunting of the Hairy Man, began the process of transforming their home into both a shrine for the grave they disturbed and a resting place for other evil spirits to join with the Hairy Man in torturing the living. As word spread of the family’s strange behavior, and the events of Halloween that were stranger still, local residents simply began referring to the house as the Terror on Two Jacks. Many children and adults come to pay homage to the Hairy Man and most accept, and survive, the challenge of entering the labyrinth of evil spirits that springs forth in the garage each year.’

 

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Deadly Fantasies Silent Nightmare (Johnston, RI)
‘Enter a world where the evil scientist Malfadar has transformed people’s nightmares and fears into his own world of deadly fantasies.’

 

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The Plaque Haunted Hospital (Little Rock, AK)
‘We had so much fun last year terrifying people….. we had a few old patients and some new patients…. we’re DYING to see you again this year…..’

 

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Spooky Bottom Haunted Trail (Seagrove, NC)
‘Spooky Bottom Haunted Trail is an old school, backwoods-themed haunt that brings the feeling of true horror alive with every step you take. Prepare to be terrified by a backwoods horror experience like never before! Step right up and get ready to scream your lungs out at the most spine-chilling haunted attraction around. Our backwoods themed haunted attraction is 100% original and will leave you with an unforgettable experience that you will be talking about for days. With one mile of cabins, houses, mine shafts, swamps, villages and the most haunting woods you have ever encountered, full of bone-chilling insanity that will have you running for the car!!.’

 

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Anmore Manor (Anmore, BC, Canada)
‘Anmore Manor is a normal-looking house at 1151 Robin Way in Anmore (near Port Moody) most days of the year. On the last few days of October, however, it turns into an amazingly gruesome haunted house! It’s worth driving out to see!’

 

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Dreadful Duplicity (Lakeland, FL)
‘As All Hollows Eve arrives, something starts to conjure at the Cornelius Farm but be warned, this isn’t Old McDonald’s farm. Will you be able to survive the tricks or treats from the maniacs? Once they see you, there is no escape! The farm has been abandoned for years but, there’s been strange happenings and eerie sightings as the maniacs run wild. Join us down on the farm this All Hallows’ Eve, if you dare!’

 

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Literally, A Haunted House (Lexington, KY)
‘Beginning September 29th, the Institute is accepting new patients. Every visitor gets a consultation with the Head Doctor. Sure, her methods may be unorthodox but she promises that you will leave the Institute forever changed …’

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Pleasure. Yes, we finished the edit. We’re sending it to the festival today, and fingers very crossed, and thanks. I’ve never even seen a fake spiderweb or cardboard skull in anyone’s window here, it’s grim. Oh, no, did love cure you? He better have. Love giving the mosquitos in my apartment the ability and burning desire to commit suicide, G. ** David Ehrenstein, I agree. ** Misanthrope, Oh, you’re one of those. I’m more like a sleeping touchpad. Condolences on the Powerball loss. Big condolences. Fuck those losers who won’t go to Trail of Terror Cornstalkers. (Except your mother, of course). Wtf is wrong with them?! ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. I don’t think I know Teresa Plana. I’ll investigate. Hemingway, interesting. I haven’t read him in years, but I do remember thinking he really knew his way around a sentence. ‘The Killers’: On it. ** Charalampos, Hi. I was merely the messenger, but thank you. There’s one section of the film that’s lengthy, and we liked it but did wonder if it’s length would cause problems, and that’s the section the festival identified, so we knew what to do. And, honestly, the film is only improved by being tighter in that area. Glad your book building is going well. I can’t really say much more about the sigil thing because if a sigil is identified, it supposedly loses its power. So, I guess you’ll have to imagine, Sorry. Love back from Paris where it just stopped raining not three seconds ago. ** Jack Skelley, Back when I was into/following the Dodgers closely, their last minute collapse was as predictable as death and taxes. Alas. ‘Myth Lab’ works conceptually, and it also has a really nice, terse sound/rhythm. And, you know, it’s funny. Lurve, me. ** Nick., Hi. Go for it. Wow, thank you. You just made me, what do they say, burst my buttons. I like reading you on magic. The magic infuses your prose, it seems to me. Do you know what Pixy Stix are? The American (junk) food store here in Paris had some for sale, and I poured about five of them down my throat, remembering why I used to love them and also why I stopped loving them. The same store will start selling American Halloween candy this weekend, and I’m going over there with a wad of cash in my mitt. Otherwise, just a very good pain chocolat. You and candy … what’s your relationship like of late? ** Don Waters, Don! Wow, it’s been ages. It’s so extremely nice to see you! And, gosh, man, thank you so much about ‘I Wished’. That means a ton, not to mention coming from you. I’m pretty big on land art. I’ve done a bunch of road trips from LA especially designed to see as much land art as possible. I actually almost got to visit City about, oh, four years ago. Someone got Heizer to agree that my friend Zac and I could visit it, and we drove all the way over there, and he changed his mind at the last minute. Mercurial fella. But now I guess it’s out of his hands. I’m dying to go. Have you gone? I did do a City post here. Let me see how old the post is, and maybe I’ll restore it if it isn’t too recent. Man, how are you? What are you doing and working on? Catch me up if you feel like it. In any case, awesome to get to see you, and big hugs from Paris and me. ** Steve Erickson, Unfortunately the Autechre show isn’t until April, but I figured better safe than sorry, tickets-wise. I haven’t seen the McKamey Manor doc, weirdly. I’ll check it out, old news or not. Oh, yeah, Miasma. Big hype on that one. So not so sure it lives up, based on the evidence I’ve seen. Everyone, Mr. E reviews Justine Triet’s film ‘Anatomy of a Fall’ here. ** Darbilly 🐖👨‍🌾, Hi. I just received a Halloween guest post made by someone who calls themself SuperficeShel. I’m not sure why that sprang to mind right now. I’m sadly a person who, if I don’t get 8 hours of sleep a night, am completely wasted and miserable. You have a tough body, which is, you know, great. Avoid pneumonia though. That makes sense about you going to an all girls school facilitating that revelation somehow. I went to an all boys school, and I think that definitely facilitated my realisation that I was queer. Mm, when I was still a teen, my mom would try to sneak meat into my food thinking I would eat it and she could say, ‘Ah ha, you just ate meat’, but I could smell it, so it never worked. I don’t think anyone has dared me to eat meat no. Strange, I guess. I love cauliflower “nuggets”. I think cauliflower is very underrated. Cauliflower burgers are delicious too. Very best of luck with your crops and pigs until Tuesday if I don’t see you before. It would be nice to have a crop. I don’t anywhere to put it, but … Love to you and yours! ** Cody Goodnight, Hi, Cody, I’m good, and you? Today … sending off the new cut of our film to the festival, maybe going to see some art (Mike Kelley @ Pinault Collection), maybe going to see a bunch of films at the experimental film festival here tonight, eating some unusually delicious food if I can figure out what that would be. Have a great next 24, my friend. ** Okay. And today you get my annual round up of the North American home haunts that look especially worthy to me. In hopes that either one (or more) of them is in reach of some of you or that you’re just cool with gawking like me. See you tomorrow.