The Friday the 13th Friday *

* (Halloween countdown post #15/restored)

 

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‘In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of divine organizational arrangement or chronological completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve hours of the clock day, the twelve deities of Olympus, twelve tribes of Israel, twelve Apostles of Jesus, the 12 successors of Muhammad in Shia Islam, twelve signs of the Zodiac, the 12 years of the Buddhist cycle, etc., whereas the number thirteen was considered irregular, transgressing this completeness. There is also a superstition, thought by some to derive from the Last Supper or a Norse myth, that having thirteen people seated at a table results in the death of one of the diners.

‘The fear of Friday the 13th has been called friggatriskaidekaphobia (Frigga being the name of the Norse goddess for whom “Friday” is named in English and triskaidekaphobia meaning fear of the number thirteen), or paraskevidekatriaphobia, a concatenation of the Greek words Paraskeví (Παρασκευή, meaning “Friday”), and dekatreís (δεκατρείς, meaning “thirteen”) attached to phobía (φοβία, from phóbos, φόβος, meaning “fear”). The latter word was derived in 1911 and first appeared in a mainstream source in 1953.

‘According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States are affected by a fear of this day making it the most feared day and date in history. Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed. “It’s been estimated that $800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day”. In Finland, a consortium of governmental and nongovernmental organizations led by the Ministry of Social Affairs and Health promotes the National Accident Day, which always falls on a Friday 13th.’

‘In many Spanish speaking countries, the movie Friday the 13th was renamed Tuesday the 13th (“Martes 13”) because, in those countries, Tuesday the 13th is believed to be a day of bad luck, not Friday the 13th.’— collaged

 

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The Coroner Report
info. from houseofhorrors.com, a.o.

Working steadily with a special taskforce of the FBI, I have been able compile a complete listings of all Jason Voorhees’ victims. I have been able to provide the victims’ names and proposed method of death. Special thanks to Fangoria, it is the magazine of choice here at the coroner’s office. Without their inspiration, I could have never made it through the long hours working on this report. The following report list only the victims of one, Jason Voorhees, excluding all victims from Friday the 13th and Friday the 13th, Part V: A New Beginning. Jason was not directly responsible for those murders, thus he is not held responsible for them.

 

Friday the 13th, Part 2

1. Alice (Adrienne King) Stabbed in the temple with an icepick.

2. Crazy Ralph (Walt Gorney) Garroted with barbed wire.

3. Policeman (Jack Marks) Hammerclaw in the Head.

4. Scott (Russell Todd) Throat slashed while hanging in a snare.

5. Terry (Kirsten Baker) Knifed.

6. Mark (Tom McBride) Machete to the face.

7 & 8. Jeff (Bill Randolph) and Sandra (Marta Kober) Double impaling with a spear gun.

9. Vickie (Lauren-Marie Taylor) Knifed

10. Paul (John Furey) Disappears, presumed dead.

 

Friday the 13th, Part 3

11. Harold (Steve Susskind) Cleaver to the chest.

12. Edna (Cheri Maugans) Knitting needles in the back of the head.

13. Fox (Gloria Charles) Pitchforked through the neck onto a rafter.

14.Loco (Kevin O’Brien) Pitchforked in the stomach.

15. Ali (Nick Savage) Macheted to death.

16. Shelly (Larry Zerner) Throat slashed.

17. Vera (Catherine Parks) Speargun to the eye.

18. Andy (Jeffery Rogers) Macheted in half.

19. Debbie (Tracie Savage) Knifed from underneath her hammock.

20. Chuck (David Katims) Electrocuted on a fuse box.

21. Chili (Rachel Howard) Stabbed with a fire poker.

22. Rick (Paul Kratka) Head squeezed till his eye pops out.

 

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

23. Axel (Bruce Mahler) Surgical hacksaw to the throat, neck broken.

24. Nurse Morgan (Lisa Freeman) Gutted by a scalpel.

25. Hitchiker (Bonnie Hellman) Knifed through the neck.

26. Samatha (Judie Aronson) Knifed through the neck.

27. Paul (Alan Hayes) Speared in the groin.

28. Terri (Carey More) Speared in the back.

29. Mrs. Jarvis (Joan Freeman) Killed, causes unknown.

30. Jimmy (Crispin Glover) Corkscrew through the hand, cleaver in the face.

31. Tina (Camilla More) Thrown through a window, lands on a parked car.

32. Ted (Lawrence Monoson) Knifed in the head through a movie screen.

33. Doug (Peter Barton) Head crushed in Jason’s bare hands.

34. Sara (Barbara Howard) Axed in the chest.

35. Bob (E. Erich Anderson) Garden harrow in the throat.

 

Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives

36. Allen (Ron Palillo) Heart ripped out.

37. Darren (Tony Goldwyn) Impaled on a spear.

38. Lizabeth (Nancy McLoughlin) Speared through the mouth.

39. Burt (Wallace Merck) Arm ripped off, impaled on a tree branch.

40, 41, & 42. Stan (Matthew Faison), Katie (Ann Ryerson) and Larry (Alam Blumenfeld) Triple decapitation with a machete.

43. Martin (Bob Larkin) Broken bottle in the throat.

44 & 45. Steven (Roger Rose) and Annette (Cynthia Kania) Double impalement with a machete on their motorcycle.

45. Nikki (Darcy Demoss) face crushed against RV wall.

46. Cort (Tom Fridley) Hunting knife in the head.

47. Roy (Whitney Rydbeck) Pieces of him are found strewn in woods.

48. Sissy (Renee Jones) Head ripped off.

49. Paula (Kerry Noonan) Hacked up with a machete.

50. Officer Thornton (Michael Nomand) Dart in the forehead.

51. Officer Pappas (Michael Swan) Head crushed in Jason’s bare hands.

52. Sheriff Garris (David Kagen) Broken in half.

 

Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood

53. Jane (Staci Greason) Tent spike in the neck, impaled to a tree.

54. Michael (William Butler) Tent spike thrown into his back.

55. Dan (Michael Schroeder) Jason’s hand through his body, neck broken.

56. Judy (Debora Kessler) Bashed against a tree in her sleeping bag.

57. Russell (Larry Cox) Axed in the face.

58. Sandra (Heidi Kozak) Pulled underwater and drowned.

59. Maddy (Diana Barrows) Scythe in the neck.

60. Ben (Craig Thomas) Head crushed in Jason’s bare hands.

61. Kate (Diana Almeida) Party horn in the eye.

62. David (Jon Renfield) Butcher knife in the stomach.

63. Eddie (Jeff Bennett) Beheaded with a machete.

64. Robin (Elizabeth Kaitan) Thrown through a window.

65. Amanda Shepherd (Susan Blu) Speared from behind.

67. Dr. Crews (Terry Kiser) Tree-trimming saw in the stomach.

68. Melissa (Susan Jennifer Sullivan) Axed in the face.

 

Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

69. Jim (Todd Shaffer) Impaled with a spear gun.

70. Suzy (Tiffany Paulsen) Stabbed with a spear.

71. J.J. (Saffron Henderson) Bashed in the head with her electric guitar.

72. Boxer (unidentified) Hot sauna rock in the chest.

73. Tamara (Sharlene Martin) Stabbed with a mirror shard.

74. Jim Carlson (Fred Henderson) Harpooned in back.

75. Admiral Robertson (Warren Munson) Throat slit with a machete.

76. Eva (Kelly Hu) Strangled.

77. Wayne (Martin Cummins) Electrocuted on a control panel.

78. Miles (Gordon Currie) Impaled on a deck post.

79. Deck Hand (Alex Diakun) Axed in the back.

80. Gang Banger #1 (Sam Sarkar) Stabbed through the back with his own syringe.

81. Gang Banger #2 (Michael Benyaer) Bashed and scalded on a steam pipe.

82. Julius (V.C. Dupree) Jason knocks his block off.

83. Cop (Roger Barnes) Dragged into an alley, killed.

84. Colleen Van Deusen (Barbara Bingham) Immolated in an exploding car.

85. Charles McCullough (Peter Mark Richman) Drowned in a barrel of sewage.

86. Sanitation Worker (David Longworth) Bashed in the head with a wrench.

***Several anonymous students left to die on the burning ship, and a diner worker thrown against a wall. All unconfirmed kills.

 

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

87. Coroner (Richard Gant) Eats Jason’s heart, dies and becomes possessed.

88. Coroner’s Assistant (Dean Lorey) Autopsy probe in the back of the neck, face pushed through a metal grating.

89. FBI Agent #1 (Tony Ervolina) Pencil through his spinal cord.

90. FBI Agent #2 (Kane Hodder) Coroner’s fingers through his skull.

91. Alexis (Kathryn Atwood) Slashed up with a straight razor.

92. Deborah (Michelle Clunie) Stabbed through the back with a barbed wire spike, ripped in half.

93. Lou (Michael Silver) Head crushed.

94. Edna (Dian Georger) Head slammed in car door.

95. Josh (Andrew Bloch) Possessed by Jason, shot in head and impaled with poker, later melts away.

96. Diana (Erin Gray) Knife-sharpening pole in back.

97. Robert Campbell (Steven Culp) Possessed by Jason, later shot in head, run over with car, impaled on a barbecue skewer.

98. Officer Ryan (Madelon Curtis) Head bashed against a locker.

99 & 100. Officer Mark (Mark Thompson) and Officer Brian (Brian Phelps) Heads bashed together.

101. Ward (Adam Cranner) Arm broken, falls dead through the diner doors.

102. Shelby (Leslie Jordan) Burned to death on a deep-fat fryer and grill.

103. Joey B. (Rusty Schwimmer) Face bashed in.

104. Vicki (Allison Smith) Impaled on a barbecue skewer, head crushed.

105. Randy (Kipp Marcus) Possessed by Jason, later his neck is severed with a machete.

106. Creighton Duke (Steven Williams) Crushed to death by Jason.

***All possessed murders were attributed to Jason, since it was his spirit that was the possessor.

 

Jason X

107. Private Johnson (Jeff Geddis) Possibly stabbing or strangulation. Off camera.

108. Soldier 1 (Unknown) Blow to Skull.

109. Soldier 2 (Unknown) Thrown into Friendly Fire.

110. Soldier 3 (Unknown) Blow to Skull.

111. Soldier 4 (Unknown) Strangulation.

112. Dr Wimmer (David Cronenberg) Speared.

113. Sergeant Marcus (Markus Parilo) Possibly stabbing. Off Camera.

114. Adrienne (Kristi Angus) Liquid nitrogen, head smashed.

115. Stony (Yani Gellman) Stabbing with surgical instrument.

116. Azrael (Dov Tiefenbach) Broken neck.

117. Dallas (Todd Farmer) Head smashed.

118.

119. Condor (Steve Lucescu) Impaled.

120. Gecko (Amanda Bragel) Throat slashed.

121. Briggs (Dylan Bierk) Cut in half.

122.

123.

124. Professor Lowe (Jonathan Potts) Decapitation.

125. Spacestation Solaris Unknown losses due to collision with Grendel

124. Crutch (Phillip Williams) Electrocution.

126. Kinsa (Melody Johnson) Shuttle crash.

127. Waylander (Derwin Jordan) Self detonation.

128. Janessa (Melyssa Ade) Space.

129. Sergeant Brodski (Peter Mensah) Atmospheric re-entry.

 

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

130. Heather (Odessa Munroe) Pinned to tree with machete through stomach.

131. Trey (Jesse Hutch) Impaled 10 times through back with machete, fold in half by bed.

132. Mr. Mueller (unknown) Decapitated with machete.

133. Blake Mueller(David Kopp) Hacked up with machete.

134. Gibb (Katharine Isabelle) Chest impaled with long pipe.

135. Frisell ‘Glowing Raver’ (Ken Kirzinger) Impaled through back with long pipe/thrown away.

136. Teammate (Colby Johannson) Head twisted.

137. Shack (Chris Gauthier) Flaming machete thrown through back.

138, 139, 140. Raver 1/2/3 (Unknown) Chests slashed with flaming machete

141. Raver 4 (Unknown) Stomach slashed with machete

142. Raver 5 (Unknown) Chest slashed with machete

143. Raver 6 (Unknown) Sliced with machete.

144. Mark Davis (Brendan Fletcher) Back set on fire, face slashed with bladed glove.

145. Security Guard (Tony Willett) Crushed by heavy door.

146. Deputy Stubbs (Lochlyn Munro) Electrocuted/thrown into console.

147. Freeburg (Kyle Labine) Possessed by “Freddypillar”, sliced in half with machete.

148. Charlie Linderman (Chris Marquette) Thrown/back impaled by self bracket/blood loss.

149. Kia Waterson (Kelly Rowland) Chest slashed/thrown into tree with machete.

150. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) Arm ripped off/bladed glove through back, decapitated with machete.

 

Friday the 13th (2009)

151. Wade (Jonathan Sadowski) Head/ear slashed off with machete.

152. Amanda (America Olivo) Trapped in sleeping bag, hung upside down from tree over campfire/burned alive.

153. Mike (Nick Mennell) Foot/leg slashed/impaled through hand with machete under floorboards, pulled underground.

154. Richie (Ben Feldman) Leg caught by bear trap, head sliced down with machete.

155. Donnie (Kyle Davis) Throat slit with machete.

156. Nolan (Ryan Hansen) Shot in back of head through forehead with arrow while driving boat.

157. Chelsea (Willa Ford) Stabbed in head through dock with machete.

158. Chewie (Aaron Yoo) Screwdriver in throat.

159. Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta) Axe thrown into back/forced through.

160. Bree (Julianna Guill) Impaled through back on mounted deer head’s antlers, thrown through 2nd window/lands on car.

161. Officer Bracke (Richard Burgi) Impaled to door with fireplace poker through eye.

162. Trent (Travis Van Winkle) Lifted/impaled through back with machete, impaled through back on spike on back of truck.

163. Jenna (Danielle Panabaker) Impaled through back with machete.

 

This report only reports actually death caused by Jason Voorhees or by the people he possessed. All other murders not committed by Jason Voorhees are not part of this report.

By the sole power invested in me by this office this is a complete listing of Jason Voorhees victims to date 05/26/45. His whereabouts are unknown and any further killings attributed to Voorhees will become part of this report.

Quincy, M.E

 

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‘Thirty years ago, a small horror film gave birth to 11 sequels, an endless body count and one of the most terrifying icons in horror history. Gore FX legend Tom Savini is your host for the ultimate documentary on everybody’s favourite hockey-masked momma’s boy and his three decades of cinematic carnage, featuring classic clips from the Friday The 13th movies, rare behind-the-scenes photos and footage, and over 80 interviews with filmmakers, actors, stuntmen, FX artists, journalists and fans. His Name Was Jason… and this is his legacy.’ — collaged

 

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‘Friday the 13th was primarily a product aimed to get people’s attention, scare people, surprise people, make people talk about it and make money. It’s very simple and straight forward. The whole project started with Sean Cunningham – after the success of Halloween – coming up with a title and marketing it very passionately! “I was playing around with the titles. And one of the titles just came into my head at the time was Friday the 13th. And out of frustration I said “Friday the 13th! Christ! If I had a picture called Friday the 13th, I could sell that! … We took this ad in Variety that said “Friday the 13th the most terrifying movie ever made‟. It was in great big block letters crashing through a mirror.” It was an attempt of capitalising on the famous Christian superstition surrounding the events of Knights Templar and the unlucky Friday the 13th; paraskavedekatriaphobia (the phobia of Friday the 13th) – a form of Triskaidekaphobia (the phobia of number 13).

‘Victor Miller comments on how they tried to structure a horror film now which would live up to their ad in Variety: “I went to school basically on the movie Halloween, saw it once figured out what a good horror film would need. … First of all, you have to start with a prior evil. Something happened a long time ago that was really bad. Then you have to have a group of adolescents or slightly close to adolescents who are in an environment in which they can not be helped by adults. The other thing I learned from Halloween, if you make love you get killed. So I had to figure out a way to do that.”

‘When Miller and Cunningham structured their “product”, they had come up with mainly two exploitation notions; a deliberate simplicity in the story and a passionately graphic depiction of gore. The simplicity of the story put the focus on the gore – the killings, and the gore in the killings became the center of attention as it never did in a major Hollywood film ever. Friday the 13th was not a major horror film; it was independently produced low-budget exploitation. However things took a controversial and post-modernistic turn when a major Hollywood distributor, Paramount, gave the film a nation-wide opening. “…the controversy that surrounded the film arose because it was distributed by a major studio rather than one of the usual exploitation outfits.” What Paramount did created a very post-modernistic turn of events because it was the ultimate introduction of the “low culture”, to the popular culture. That’s why the film’s effect on the society – who was exposed to this “low culture gore” for the first time – was intense; “The film takes the nascent community, the one we have assumed through years of similar cinematic experiences must of necessity prevail, and crushes it.”

‘Tom Savini describes the killings as fireworks. He says: “When you watch fireworks, you got the one… you wait for the next one you know. Same thing with Friday the 13th; Fireworks was; ok, she dies with an axe on her head, this gets cleaved with a machete, this gets his eyeball… It became like fireworks. It’s like one effect after the other. But in this case, it’s one gory death after the other. I don’t think they were really into “that’s a horrible way to die… most like “yeay what a great way to die… you know what I’m saying.” It is most accurate to state the fact that Jason is the co-star or the presenter of “the slasher fireworks”.

‘Jason fits most suitably to the “automatism” category under “The Uncanny”; “Automatism can be used when what is human is perceived as merely mechanical: examples of this would be sleepwalking, epileptic fits, trance-states and madness.” Jason Voorhees seems to be the mute evil personification of automatism. Jason gained the “monster” and “supernatural” and “comic-book-like” almost simultaneously. It is this pulp ambience that gave Friday the 13th films even more enfranchisement. “The emphasis in these films is on the body as a package, which can be opened. What we find fills us with awe and horror. Death both repels and rouses, and monster films exploit the ambiguities of repulsion and curiosity. The genre is repetitive precisely because death and malformation have to be presented in rigid conventions, or disgust would overwhelm curiosity.”

‘Jason Voorhees turned the tables as exploiting the sympathy for the monster. Very few films “have totally unsympathetic monsters. In many, the monster is clearly the emotional centre, and much more human than the cardboard representatives of normality.” Jason is not human at any level. The truth is, there are not many levels to Jason‟s personality; he just kills and kills and kills… in a “cool” way. It is this pure “cool” Jason monster is based upon. A menacing killer described as pure cool and pure evil has never been as blunt and successful as Jason Voorhees. Friday the 13th franchise “repackaged the underground appeal genuinely edgy horror offerings into a saleable multiplex-friendly fodder”.’ — Can M. Evrenol, Friday the 13th franchise: The myth of Jason Voorhees

 

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The Franchise (1980 – ?)

 

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Sean S. Cunningham Friday the 13th (1980)

‘Friday the 13th received negative reviews from critics upon its initial release, but has since gained a significant cult following. Rotten Tomatoes reports that 59% of critics gave the film a positive review, based on 49 reviews. Its most vocal detractor was Gene Siskel, who in his review called Cunningham “one of the most despicable creatures ever to infest the movie business”. He also published the address for Charles Bluhdorn, the chairman of the board of Gulf+Western, which owned Paramount, as well as Betsy Palmer’s home city and encouraged fellow detractors to write to them and express their contempt for the film.’ — collaged

“He’s still there”: Friday the 13th (1980)

 

Steve Miner Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

‘Steve Daskawisz, who played Jason, was rushed to the emergency room when Amy Steel hit his middle finger with a machete during filming. Steel explained: “The timing was wrong, and he didn’t turn his pick axe properly, and the machete hit his finger.” Daskawisz received 13 stitches on his middle finger. It was covered with a piece of rubber, and Daskawisz and Steel insisted on doing the scene all over again. In one scene where Daskawisz was wearing the burlap flour sack, part of the flour sack was flapping at his eye, so the crew used tape inside the eye area to prevent it from flapping. Daskawisz received rug burns around his eye from the tape from wearing the rough flour sack material for hours.’ — collaged

“Jeff and Sandra Uncut Impale”: Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)

 

Steve Miner Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

‘I came to the conclusion that the film was sorta kinda not terrible, that it might even be good and well-shot in a few places, and that maybe just maybe it justified the notoriety of the whole franchise. Well, I hope you all enjoyed that brief renaissance of quality, because Part 3 is a deeply stupid movie. “Does that mean that the first two films weren’t stupid?” No, my dears, that means that Friday the 13th, Part 3 is so appallingly, overwhelmingly stupid, it is stupid even by the standards of the Friday the 13th franchise.’ — Antagony & Ecstacy

“Vera’s Spear Death”: Friday the 13th, Part III (1982)

 

Joseph Zito Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

‘It works oddly well, almost like a John Hughes movie that got lost and wandered into slasher territory. The cast and characters are above average and even likeable, and their little teenage dramas actually captivate to some degree. The Final Chapter does actually end with the death of Jason, but the film’s success secured the release of a fifth film less than one year later.’ — Combustible Celluloid

“Deleted Deaths”: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

 

Danny Steinmann Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

‘This is not a fun stupid movie. This is a stupid movie that makes me want to claw my skin off. Why would Roy pretend to be Jason Voorhees? Doesn’t matter. Why would he kill eighteen people to avenge his son, including such spear-carriers as the drifter or Pete and Vinnie? Doesn’t matter. But my God, there’s only so much “doesn’t matter” you can take in a single film, and there’s something about the way that extras keep revolving into the film just to be cut down that’s infinitely more frustrating than just watching the platter of teenagers get picked off in the earlier films.’ — Antagony & Ecstacy

“Violet’s Death”: Friday The 13th, Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

 

Tom McLoughlin Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

‘Jason Lives would become notable for being the only film in the franchise to contain no nudity; the characters in the film’s sole sex scene are both fully clothed, a conscious move on McLoughlin’s part to distance the series from the notion that the Friday the 13th films were morality tales in which premarital sex was punished by death. Director McLoughlin was pressured by the film’s producers to have Darcy Demoss remove her shirt during the RV sex scene, but he only suggested the idea to Demoss, who refused.’ — collaged

“Slash Scenes”: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

 

John Carl Buechler Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

‘Several explicit scenes of gore were cut in order to avoid an X rating, including: Maddy’s death, who originally had a sickle jammed through her neck; Ben’s death, which showed Jason crushing his head into a bloody pulp; Kate’s death, which showed Jason ramming her in the eye with a party horn; the VHS and DVD versions only show a full view of Jason as he aims towards her face, but quickly cuts to another scene before revealing the blood and gore gushing from her eye; we see Eddie’s head hit the floor; a shot of Russell’s face splitting open with a large blood spurt; Dan’s original death had Jason ripping out his guts; Amanda Shepard’s death originally showed Jason stabbing her from behind, with the resulting blade going through her chest and subsequent blood hitting Dr. Crews; Dr. Crews’s death showed Jason’s tree-trimming saw violently cutting into his stomach, sending a fountain of blood and guts in the air; Melissa’s original death had Jason cleaving her head in half with an axe with a close-up of her eyes still wriggling in their sockets.’ — collaged

“Movie Mistakes”: Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

 

Rob Hedden Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

‘On his commentary track for the film in the box set, director Rob Hedden acknowledges the faults and even agrees that more of the film should have been set in Manhattan, citing budgetary and schedule problems. The film failed to generate a substantial amount of money at the box office, which continued the decline in grosses the series had been suffering, and Paramount sold the franchise to New Line Cinema soon afterward (they would later distribute the 2009 reboot together). Rotten Tomatoes details that only 9% of the critics who reviewed the film gave it positive reviews, making it the poorest-received film of the series. It holds an average score of 3.9/10. Entertainment Weekly labeled it the eighth-worst sequel ever made.’ — collaged

“Head Punch Kill”: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

 

Adam Marcus Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

‘I got angry with Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan for suggesting Jason would be in New York and then not putting him there until an hour into the movie. So we won’t even talk about Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, where Jason doesn’t actually go to hell until two minutes before the movie ends. I suspect a film all about Jason in hell would not be very interesting, as he would be lackluster indeed when surrounded by luminaries such as Hitler and Disney.’ — Eric D. Snider

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993) “Best Parts”

 

James Isaac Jason X (2001)

‘Rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. Jason X sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought. The characters follow the usual rules from Camp Crystal Lake, which require the crew members to split up, go down dark corridors by themselves, and call out each other’s names with the sickening certainty that they will not reply. Characters are skewered on giant screws, cut in half, punctured by swords, get their heads torn off, and worse.’ — Roger Ebert

“Frozen Head Smash Kill”: Jason X (2001)

 

Ronny Yu Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

‘Parents need to know that this movie contains lots of nudity and some sex, lots of foul language, and characters who drink and do drugs. There is also an ambiguous date rape and a brief racial slur towards the only black character in the entire movie. People are gutted, stabbed, impaled, torn apart, sliced open, burned, crushed, and killed in just about any way that produces lots of gushing blood. But if it’s any consolation to parents, all the kids who engage in stupid behavior pay for it pretty heavily.’ — Common Sense Media

“Jason Deaths”: Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

 

Marcus Nispel Friday the 13th (2009)

‘Five nauseating 20-somethings head out to Camp Crystal Lake to guzzle Pabst Blue Ribbon and have loud tent sex, but Jason roasts one of them like a weenie and says howdy to everyone else with the business edge of his trusty machete. And that’s just the intro! After that, a fresh batch of kids get systematically slaughtered, but in even less inventive ways, and with few accompanying scares.’ — Ear of Newt

“Trent’s Scream and Death”: Friday the 13th (2009)

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!!! I will, re: Salon du Chocolat. I’ll try to take a photo of my loot and show you. No, I will. Whew, on the coat. How fast will you get it? I don’t know about there, but it’s definitely coat-necessitating weather here. No, attachment to my lost scarf, although it did its job. I’ll just grab something. Luckily, I’m not stylish. Sad story: yesterday I started feeling sick, not deadly sick, but bad enough that I couldn’t see Eno last night. Waah. Zac went, so I’ll get his review today. Grr. Love is so generous. Gee, I think I’ll take Screaming Ambulance, thank you very much! You want one of them to cuddle up with? Today love just has the simple seeming task of making me not be sick or not any more sick than I am so far at least, and thank you love in advance, G. ** Misanthrope, Oh, ok. I’m really a computer klutz. But I’ll try not to update something that calls itself BIOS and asks me to update it, even if it asks very politely. You friends’ better health doesn’t count as better health until they go to the corn maze with you. ** _Black_Acrylic, Yes, there were actually three or four other UK ones, but those were the tastiest. UK in the house! What doesn’t Scotland do well, you know? I can’t think of anything. ** malcolm, Hi. Honored by your dream inclusion. And it sounds fun, a lot more fun than my generally terror and running for my life -filled dreams. Maddy Ellwanger, okay. I don’t know her work. I just opened a new window and typed her name in the search and loaded the page, so I will investigate her very shortly. And do a post if I like what I find and can figure out a way to represent her with adequacy and educational value. Thank you. She does sound fascinating. Fuck those people who won’t go with you to the haunts. That’s outrageous! I’m flabbergasted at their lack of ambitious fun-lovingness. I’d go with you, but, yeah, a little impractical, and, unfortunately, I’m the opposite of a screamer. True about the suckiness of feeling that one must experience pain to make sufficiently strong art. Good that it paid off in Saima’s case — I will check out her stuff too. Obviously I’m of the belief that my imagination can take the really big risks for me as long as I’m attentive and nonjudgemental enough. Otherwise I would have been writing my novels in prison starting decades ago. Whew. ** Sypha, Does the manga illustrate the too scary prop? I’m trying to imagine a too scary prop, but I’m probably the wrong person to do that. ** Gee, Hi. Thanks. If I manage to finish the collection, it’ll just be a kind of short chapbook kind of book(let) because I don’t have a ton of things to work with. Because of scheduling constraints, the blog will celebrate Halloween itself with a slave post. Which is, you know, kind of appropriate. Oh, NeoDecadent Xmas on Zoom, good. I can watch it. Let me know when it’s figured out. Cool. Go to Japan! Seriously! It’s so great! Weekend: assuming I start feeling better — I’m a little sickish today — or, wait, whether I’m sick or not, I have to do a photoshoot tomorrow morning for an article on ‘Closer’ for The Observer. Salon du Chocolat visit/buying spree. Film work, of course. And we’ll see. That might be a lot already given my bleh. You + your weekend = ???? A cat, okay? I’d like to see that too. Pix please. xo. ** Audrey, Hi. Even a diehard haunt lover like me wouldn’t do the morgue one. No thank you. There are quite a number of artists who do really good-to-really-great work at the beginning and then lose the fire or the soul or the ambition or something and spend years and years just making disappointing things after that. And it’s like they don’t seem to realise it, or, worse, they don’t care. I could name a bunch of names, but the names would be arguable for others, and arguments aren’t so interesting. I’ve always hoped/planned that I would stop before I lost it. Seems important somehow. I grew up and lived most of my life in LA. The San Gabriel Valley as a kid/teen then close to the ocean for a while and finally in the Hollywood-Echo Park area. I think my novels are always set in LA even if I don’t say so. Well, except for a few (‘Period’, ‘The Marbled Swarm’, ‘The Sluts’). I think I just know that kind of turf and how it works really well. No, no painful memories, no worries. I think about that stuff a lot of the time already. No worries too on not seeing our films. They’re out there and will remain so, no rush. Like I told Dominick, I started feeling a little ill yesterday and didn’t get to go see Brian Eno, which obviously I’m unhappy about. My friend Zac went, and I’ll hear how/what it was. Nice: the horror movie marathon! Curious what you curated, but no pressure. I’ll bet none of the films in the post today made it in understandably, ha ha. Nothing Halloween-like planned for Halloween, at least yet. It would be difficult here. Maybe there’s some scary restaurant or something. I wish I could watch your marathon, but your Halloween starts in the middle of the night here, and then there’s the whole lack of a Star Trek-like way to dematerialise/materialise problem too. Alas. Have a superb Friday. Love, me. ** Okay. I’m not really even sure at this point what I was thinking when I decided to add to the Halloween blog celebrations by restoring this old post featuring the potentially all-time worst horror movie franchise, but I guess I had my reasons. Suffer or enjoy, as you see fit. See you tomorrow.