Body of a boy, mind of a monster
A thing of beauty is a joy forever…forever…
Bill Nelson – Flesh, ‘The Love That Whirls (Diary Of A Thinking Heart)’ LP (1982)
“Man starts over again everyday, in spite of all he knows, against all he knows.” – Emil Cioran
Bill Nelson has been making music since the early 1970s, with his creative output continuing until recently, when a sudden hearing loss in one ear brought it to a stop. I’m approaching his story by focusing on the period when he published the fanzine Acquitted by Mirrors, each issue accompanied by a 7-inch single. It was an intensely productive phase in his career, and one that offers a revealing fragment of his creative world.”
“A biography, in the strict sense, is never only the life of someone; it is also the fragment of a life.” Jacques Derrida
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A Preamble
“Something glittered in the dusk behind me. I turned to see a brilliant chimera, a man with incandescent arms and chest, race past among the trees, a cascade of particles diffusing in the air behind him. I flinched back behind the cross, but he vanished as suddenly as he had appeared, whirling himself away among the crystal vaults. As his luminous wake faded I heard his voice echoing across the frosted air, the plaintive words jewelled and ornamented like everything else in that transmogrified world.” , The Illuminated Man, J. G. Ballard, 1964
Zinoviy came up to me in the bar and pulled me to a table. He gestured a lot, like his body had to attack the air to make meaning. “Do you know who is this Bill Nelson, why he so important?” he asks me, like he’s pushing the question into my guts. His accent is thick, but sharp. “He is… how you say… opposite of stupid rock man. Not beer-drinking idiot, not guitar-smash crazy boy, not always smoking pot and talking only about sex-sex-sex.” He leans closer, eyes too bright, he’s selling me black market truth. “Bill Nelson show rock & roll can be art, real art. Not only drugs and dirty stories. More big, more deep… like book, sculpture, classical music.” He nods hard, as if his head might break off. “He is… how you say… proof rock can grow up.”
He waits, breathing too fast, waiting for me to understand or agree or surrender.
Zinoviy continued to bend my ear, his voice sliding in and out of sense.
“He is man who never stay still. Always shifting skin like snake. Come from Yorkshire grey skies… hatched 1948… pick up guitar like some kids pick up cigarette. Glitter Bowie days there is Be Bop Deluxe, all chrome dreams and future shock melodies. One moment they fly high, big stages, bright lights. Next moment – poof – he suicide the whole thing. He need new form, new escape route. Then come ‘79… Red Noise, sharp angles, nervous machines clicking behind him like haptic robot. He push rock until it snap and fall apart in his hands. After, he dive solo, electronics, strange atmospheres, soundtracks for cities that don’t exist. Every album like small experiment performed in deserted hospital corridor. A Proto-vapor legend. He release so much music you think maybe he is running from something – or running toward something, but he never tell what. People try to follow him, but they get lost. Too many turns. Too many versions of the man. ”
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Collaborations
The Associates – ‘Take Me To The Girl’ 7’’ (1985)
My courage in a glass
‘Ich liebe’, was ist das?
Are you my only friend?
Temptation drives me round the bend
Bill had a sad postscript to add to the story: “Later, in the ’90s, and not long before Billy sadly committed suicide, he called me up wanting to collaborate with me on songwriting and playing. He had no studio budget but, at that time, I had no proper home studio set-up either, (living in a rented apartment after my divorce,) so had to explain that it was extremely difficult for me to provide him with the right recording facilities. We left it at that, but not so long after, he was gone. A great talent who should have been served, and advised, better.” Billy Mackenzie died on January 22nd, 1997. – Bill Nelson | Dreamsville
Masami Tsuchiya – ‘Rice Music’ LP (1982)
It seems to me that before the photograph can exist as art it must, by its very nature choose whether it is to be a record or a testimony. – Yukio Mishima, from the introduction to Eikoh Hosoe’s ‘Ordeal by Roses’ (1971)
The guest list here was beyond impeccable with Bill Nelson, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Percy Jones, and Mick Karn and Steve Jansen of Japan, along for the adventure. The attention to Art Rock detail was such that Bowie’s lensman Masayoshi Sukita shot the cover photos. The title track featured Japanese instrumentation like koto and traditional percussion with modern accoutrements woven into the mix like Nelson’s eBow and Tsuchiya’s guitar duetting along with Karn’s fretless bass. The resulting track was like a more cheerful late period JAPAN instrumental. Much more angular was the frantic “Se! Se! Se!” with Percy Jones laying down languid clouds of fretless bass over the hyperkinetic music bed that saw Tsuchiya puncturing the New Wave vibe with roaring, metallic solos. – postpunkmonk
Masami Tsuchiya – ‘Rice Music’, ST LP (1982)
Yukihiro Takahashi (Yellow Magic Orchestra)
I am familiar with CSNY’s “Helpless” from “Déjà Vu”… but I could not have been prepared for the stunning cinematic makeover that the tune received at the hand of Takahashi and Bill Nelson, who duetted on the vocals here … Nelson played guitar and eBow here and right from the start it will rip your heart out. The hissing, industrial percussion suggested steam engines and anvils. Yukihiro took the first verse and Bill Nelson took the lead from there. This was genuinely spine tingling and more than a bit redolent of where Nelson’s head was at in much the same time period. The character of the song changed to leaner, synth and drum aggression at the midpoint and the multi tracked vocals simply soared. The song was transported from Laurel Canyon to Silicon Valley and I simply cannot get it out of my head. I am also asking myself if this is the first time I’ve ever heard Bill Nelson perform a cover and I think the answer was “yes!” – postpunkmonk
Yukihiro Takahashi – ‘Helpless’, Wild & Moody +1 LP (1984)
Yukihiro Takahashi – ‘My Bright Tomorrow’ live 1983. Bill Nelson on guitar.
Yellow Magic Orchestra
Here is a quote from host Don Cornelius while interviewing Yellow Magic Orchestra during their Soul Train performance: ‘In case you folks out there in television land are wondering what’s going on… I haven’t the slightest idea. – sabukaru
YMO – ‘Focus’, Naughty Boys LP (1983). Bill Nelson on guitar.
Monsoon – Tomorrow Never Knows 7’’ (1982)
Bill Nelson on Guitar / E-bow.
“There was a very fine line to draw between how loud the vocals should be, so that people who weren’t tuned into harmonics could actually hear the subtle things going on, and how far we were drowning out natural harmonics that occurred. And the other kind of balance to be reached was that when I hear a drone as it’s played, unmagnified, untreated, and I hear all these harmonic dances in it and then play it five minutes later, I’ll hear a different dance. I’ll hear South Indian carnatic violins, I’ll even hear rhythm. This performance is going on, and I’ll hear it clear as a bell, very quietly, and it’s in this drone. So, to freeze what I was hearing magnified was also a dilemma, because I didn’t want to make it a static, dead experience. So what we’ve done is layer so many things that you’ll only hear some on different systems and some at different volumes or in different acoustic spaces. There are some things you’ll only hear on the twelfth listen. And it’s like a living experience then.” – Sheila Chandra (Monsoon), interview in The Wire
Monsoon – Tomorrow Never Knows (1982)
Cabaret Voltaire – ‘Code’ LP (1987)
Richard H Kirk cites LL Cool J: “That guy is selling millions of records in America, but if you look at the album it’s far more avant-garde than a lot of so-called experimental things round at the moment. Yet people seem to have opened up to it, I suppose because the dance base is so strong.” – Music Technology interview with Cabaret Voltaire
Bill Nelson – Guitar on five songs: ‘Don’t Argue’, ‘Here To Go’, ‘Trouble (Won’t Stop)’, ‘White Car’ and ‘No One Here’.
Cabaret Voltaire – Don’t Argue (LP Version), CODE LP (1987)
Gary Numan – Warriors LP (1983)
Nick Smith (Engineer album): “It was a difficult time both in and out of the studio. The biggest change was that Gary had agreed to get in a co-producer – Bill Nelson, ex-Be Bop Deluxe.”Gary Numan: “I thought Bill Nelson was the right man for the album. I’d gone to see Be Bop Deluxe years before, without knowing a single song and had enjoyed every second.”
Bill Nelson, 1983: “Gary and I have a very different way of working. I like to build songs out of different melody parts, all working off each other and going in opposite directions. Gary prefers to layer his songs in one direction, so that he creates the kind of power he likes. I think the tension created by our two approaches produced some really interesting results. We felt that we were really getting somewhere and producing something that was different for both of us.”
Gary Numan: “Bill Nelson told me that all creative people pick up beams of inspiration from across the cosmos and we channel it into creative art and we do what we do for the people. I said, ‘That’s complete bollocks’, and it all went downhill from then on really.”
Nick Smith (Engineer on the album): “Bill took Gary in a direction that Gary did not want to go in. It was more poppy, up-beat, not so dark or hardcore. I have to tell you something, I thought that album was fantastic and that Bill did a brilliant job on it. Gary will totally contradict me on this because he hated it.” – Alien Gary Numan Magazine
Gary Numan – Warriors (1983)
Scala Featuring Bill Nelson & Daryl Runswick – Secret Ceremony (Theme From Brond) 12’’ (1987)
Bill Nelson and Daryl Runswick? Never heard of either. Scala? Brond? No idea. And yet due to the technological marvel known as Internet, I can quickly glean not only abundant information about all of these things, but even experience them in real time! Nelson and Runswick appear to be fascinating figures in English music spanning over the past half-century or soIn 1987 they collaborated to write the theme to a Channel Four three-part series called Brond (based on a book I’d never heard of by Frederic Lindsay, a writer I’d never heard of). In case you’d like to hear the theme, you could do so right here . . . or right here, in context, as you watch the actual dang show. (And holy crap, just try to watch the first four minutes and not get sucked into this madness.)
“Cue past the big click on side B then fade up. The music sounds like the picture looks.”
“This is beautiful. Oh, excuse me . . . heavenly.”
“This is lush!”
“Lovely!”
“Sublime. (I learned that word in art history.)”
“LAH! LAH!! LAH!!!”
“Cheese. Golly. Shucks.”
“If a picture is worth a thousand words is it worth a thousand notes, too? Let’s count ’em.” – Review Revue
Brond Episode 1 Part 1, Channel 4, 1987
David Sylvian (Japan)
Eight Days a Week was an arts review programme broadcast on BBC2. The show had a relatively short run in 1983 and 1984, but that timing allowed for the release of David Sylvian’s debut solo LP, Brilliant Trees, to be a subject of discussion. Among the guests that evening was former Be-Bop Deluxe front-man and guitarist, Bill Nelson.
A little provocatively, Denslow proposed to Nelson that Sylvian was ‘trying to be taken very very seriously after being a pop singer with Japan?’ ‘I think perhaps David’s always wanted to be taken very seriously,’ Nelson responded. ‘There is evidence on the Tin Drum album particularly the direction this album would go.
Sylvian would pinpoint the BBC programme as a catalyst leading towards his invitation to Bill Nelson to participate in the recordings for ‘Gone to Earth’ (Sylvian’s second solo album, released 1986).
David Sylvian – ‘Before The Bullfight’, Gone To Earth 2xLP (1986)
David Sylvian – ‘Silver Moon, Gone To Earth 2xLP (1986)
Among Sylvian and Nelson’s shared interests was a common fascination for the work of Jean Cocteau. Bill had named his own music label after Cocteau and the imprint’s aesthetic was heavily influenced by the Frenchman’s work. It was an interest ‘that started way back in the late ‘60s,’ Nelson explained on a 2019 podcast. ‘I was at art college when I was a teenager and I came across a book of his screenplays in the art college library. And the images that were reproduced in this, I immediately took a shine to. And I then started investigating further and found out that he was an artist in terms of painting and drawing, he was a filmmaker, he was a poet and a writer, he collaborated with musicians, a set-designer. And I just got really fascinated with the kind of thing he did, so he was an inspiration… Some of his films are quite amazing… One of his first ones is called Blood of a Poet, it’s very surreal, very strange. I mean it’s the kind of thing that you would imagine David Lynch would do today. He was doing this back in the ‘30s. Incredible.’ – thevistablogger
A Flock of Seagulls – Telecommunication 7’’ (1982)
“Telecommunication” was also released prior to their self-titled album proper, and was also produced by Bill Nelson. While structurally similar to “Modern Love Is Automatic,” with an oft-repeated title, brief verses, and a generally repetitive musical structure full of meandering guitar, its text quite plainly discusses the titular field of technology, in a seemingly non-judgmental fashion–though it could be argued that the fairly upbeat music suggests a positive outlook on things like radio and TV. The one hitch in all of it is the very end of the last verse, which sets the song in the “nuclear age”–a nod, perhaps, to the darker applications of 20th Century technology. “Telecommunication” is perhaps indebted less to figures like Moroder, and moreso to Kraftwerk, who first solidified the rich tradition of stoic synth thumpers about everyday machines like cars, trains, and, of course, nuclear energy. I’m also tempted to compare it to an earlier work of Bill Nelson’s group Be-Bop Deluxe, “Electrical Language,” another bubbly number that playfully bats this concept back and forth. – r/LetsTalkMusic
A Flock of Seagulls – ‘Telecommunication’ (Single)
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Major Label Last Gasps
Bill Nelson – The Love That Whirls (Diary Of A Thinking Heart) LP (1982)
“Let me explain the title. It’s actually based on a fact, rather than a poetic fantasy. It has two direct connections…the first is to the ‘whirling dervishes.’ These are Sufi dancers who use the whirling dance as a form of prayer and worship. They are taught to love everything and their whirling dance is an expression of that love and a means of attaining divine ecstasy. Hence ‘The Love That Whirls.’
“The other connection is to avant-garde film maker and occultist Kenneth Anger who, in 1949, made a film titled ‘The Love That Whirls.’ The film was destroyed by the film processing laboratory who took it upon themselves to judge the film ‘obscene.’ – Bill Nelson | Dreamsville
Bill Nelson – ‘Flaming Desire’ (from the album), self produced music video + interview, 1982
Bill Nelson – Chimera LP (1983)
She laughs as the pains begin
I swoon in the grip of sin
Alone with her burning skin
For a moment, this room is aglow…
If you aren’t familiar with Bill Nelson, I, and many other enthusiasts of his work, would be quick to recommend Chimera as an ideal introduction. Its brevity and tight aesthetic focus certainly make it an accessible listen, for one thing. And for another, Chimera captured Nelson at the arguable peak of his career, while he enjoyed the unfettered creative freedom that came with releasing music on his own private record label, Cocteau Records. Nelson’s early 80s releases were all over the map: he experimented with ambient electronic music, scores for stage and screen, and the continuation of his previous work in the 70s: New Wave art rock with a substantial synthesiser component. “Glow World,” the second track on side two, features the bass guitar work of Mick Karn, formerly of Japan. I like to think “Glow World” approaches the same sort of misty, beguiling exoticism that Japan had been aiming for on their final LP, 1981’s Tin Drum. – r/LetsTalkMusic
Bill Nelson – ‘Glow World’, Chimera LP, 1982
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Cocteau Records
Bill Nelson – ‘Trial By Intimacy (The Book Splendours)’ 4xLP (1985)
“The actual tragedies of life bear no relation to one’s preconceived ideas. In the event, one is always bewildered by their simplicity, their grandeur of design, and by that element of the bizarre which seems inherent in them” – Jean Cocteau
‘Trial By Intimacy’ was initially issued as a 4 LP boxed set, limited to 5000 copies, containing four previously unreleased instrumental albums, a set of 8 postcards, and a book of Nelson’s photography entitled, ‘The Arcane Eye’.
“I have often found a painter’s sketchbook and his finished work to be of equal interest. Despite their apparent lack of sophistication, sketches invariably posses a simplicity and freshness encapsulating all the essential qualities of an idea. It is with this promise in mind that I release ‘Trial By Intimacy’, a musical sketchbook of instrumental moods captured during many private moments over the last few years.
“Although recorded on ‘low-tech’ domestic equipment, these eighty-three pieces of music are not to be confused with ‘demo-tapes’ but as a continuation of the process begun in 1979-1980 with my “Sounding The Ritual Echo” album. The set is presented unpolished and complete with all its technical deformities for which I offer no apology. Despite or perhaps because of this, these previously unreleased pieces have become very dear to my heart.
“Intuition, spontaneity and the high disregard for error correction were the only rules adhered to during the recording process (Laziness sometimes possessing its own virtue). Each piece of music was dealt with as an infant deals with building-blocks and instinct was always given precedence over reason.
“A great deal of time has been spent editing the material into the four albums contained here although there are as yet another forty or so pieces not represented. I acknowledge the difficulties presented to the listener by such a large volume of music and can only suggest that listening should not be rushed in any way. Time and patience will, I hope unveil the innocent charm of what for me has been both a labour of love and a personal exorcism.” – Bill Nelson | Dreamsville
“It was an interesting period of my life and I devoted a lot of time to collecting and reading books on occult philosophy, magical practices, mystical secret societies, Alchemy, Rosicrucianism, Martinism, Gnosticism, The Golden Dawn and obscure branches of esoteric Freemasonry. I have retained most of these books, some of them quite rare.
“I also became involved in a Rosicrucian Chapter in Leeds in which I eventually served for one year as Master of the Chapter. I was initiated into a French Freemasonic Lodge in London and into a French Martinist Order, (which also had a UK branch in London). I brought almost as much energy and passion to these pursuits as I did to my music and the ‘journey’ I undertook helped shape some of the music I made at that time…particularly Sounding the Ritual Echo, Trial by Intimacy and Chance Encounters in the Garden of Lights.
“I was involved with such things in a practical sense throughout the 1980’s although I’d begun researching these subjects back in the early 70’s.” -Bill Nelson | Dreamsville
Bill Nelson – Chamber of Dreams (1984) (Trial By Intimacy The Book of Splendours 2/4)
Bill Nelson – Pavilions of the Heart and Soul (1984) (Trial By Intimacy The Book of Splendours 3/4)
Bill Nelson – ‘Chance Encounters In The Garden Of Lights’ LP (1986)
“The one law of Art is its own spontaneity, its pleasure and freedom. How mystic, pure and simple is its wish; it has no idea of potential divinity! Decoration is its creed and vital allegory is its belief. Being the ‘Free Morality,’ it has no sin – then most assuredly Art is all we dare express without excuse.” – Austin Osman Spare, Book of Pleasure in Plain English
“The music presented on these 2 albums marks the consolidation of several years of musical & philosophical practice. Almost every piece was conceived during moments of intense stillness or ‘magical vacuity’.
For this I acknowledge the influence of the late Austin Osman Spare, whose technique for creating ‘automatic drawing’ has found a sympathetic resonance in my own work.
Of all the music I have made, this is, perhaps, the most personal & yet the least demonstrative. Attempting nothing & existing purely for itself, it is, nevertheless, a practical music, ideally suited to the occultist in search of ritual atmosphere or serene meditation. With such a purpose in mind I offer this work to my fellow initiates as a testament to the Gnosis & a confirmation of The World Within.” Bill Nelson, 1987.
Bill Nelson – Demon Raising
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Acquitted by Mirrors
So where then are these murdered angels
Where are their white, exquisite corpses
Show me the instruments of torture
That I am said to hold
Acquitted By Mirrors, Bill Nelson’s Red Noise – Sound On Sound LP (1979)
Acquitted By Mirrors’ was a Bill Nelson Fan Club magazine published between 1982 and 1990. By its 13th issue in 1986, seven EPs – all of which were recorded on either 4-track or 8-track analogue recording equipment at The Echo Observatory (Bill’s home studio) – were issued exclusively to fan club members in conjunction with alternating issues of the magazine.
All images in this section from editions 1-14 (1982-1987) – Bill Nelson | Dreamsville
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Acquitted by Mirrors – 7’’s selected tracks
Bill Nelson – Sleepcycle (1982) from 7’’ that accompanied ‘Acquitted by Mirrors’ Issue 2
Bill Nelson – The beat that can´t go wrong today (1982) from 7’’ that accompanied ‘Acquitted by Mirrors’ Issue 2
Bill Nelson – King of the cowboys (1982) from 7’’ that accompanied ‘Acquitted by Mirrors’ Issue 3
Bill Nelson – The world and his wife (1983) from 7’’ that accompanied ‘Acquitted by Mirrors’ Issue 7
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Speaking
Interview on “Riverside” October 10th 1983
Interview Tyne Tees TX45, 1985
Interview – From the channel 4 series ‘Knocking on the door, 1986
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Further
Bill Nelson @ Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Nelson_(musician)
Bill Nelson @ Bandcamp
https://billnelson.bandcamp.com/
Bill Nelson @ Discogs
https://www.discogs.com/artist/22882-Bill-Nelson
Acquitted By Mirrors archive
https://www.muzines.co.uk/articles/bill-nelson/6121
Article from Electronics & Music Maker, August 1983
https://www.muzines.co.uk/articles/bill-nelson/6121
*
P.s. Hey. Today the honorable Kosten Koper has put together a survey and possible introduction to the composer/musician/producer/etc. Bill Nelson, another key figure in recent music whose adventurousness and restlessness has left him far less acknowledged than his work deserves. It’s an excellent overview, and please use it to find everything you can want about him. Thank you, and major thanks to Kosten. As for me, what I had hoped was an irksome head cold exploded yesterday into a bad flu, and I am sick as a dog, as they say. So I’m not going to be able to do much more than say hi to you today, and I apologize for that. Hopefully by tomorrow I will have risen above. ** _Black_Acrylic, Yes, indeed. Great film. My favorite Herzog, I think. ** Laura, Hi. I am virtually nothing but haze. Lovely thoughts and writing that I will have to return to when I can actually absorb them. Thank you. ** Wulf Solence, Hi, Wulf Solence. Wecome, and thank you. That does sound very ‘me’, and I’ll read it carefully as soon my brain is working again. Really, thanks. All the best. How’s the holidays hanging? ** Dev, Hi, Dev. My email is denniscooper72@outlook.com. Thanks so much! I’m going try to re-see Bruno Ganz in that light, wow. ** Carsten, Hi. I think I strongly disagree with you about Herzog, but I lack the mind and energy to try to make a point, so maybe next time he’s referenced. I think probably a doctor would be required to isolate an illness as bronchitis? Thanks a lot for the missing Connors. Everyone, Carsten has found ways for you to see three Bruce Connor films that weren’t available in the recent post about him. Here’s ‘Breakaway’. Here’s ‘Take the 5:10 to Dreamland’. And here’s ‘Report’. ** Nicholas., Hey, man. I so envy your brightness today. I’m a slug. Everyone, Here, courtesy of Nicholas, and apropos of Herzog, is a no doubt cool trailer for the game ‘Warframe’. Cold, ideally snowy Xmas absolutely for sure is my pick. I remember being pretty psyched as a kid getting a go-kart as a Xmas gift, but then I accidentally crashed and destroyed it within an hour. Thanks for perking me up. ** Hugo, I’m sorry about the dumps and relationship end. Hugs. Enjoy Gluck. Let’s both upswing, what do you say? ** HaRpEr //, Let me know if ‘Wicked’ is good. I can’t seem to build any enthusiasm to see it. I think we’ve talked about our mutual ‘Oz’ love. ** Uday, Hi. Uh, you would just have to say you’d like to organise a screening and let me know what your idea/plan is. We love showing the film. Hi to your friends. The Coltranes: John and Alice, you mean? I like them, of course. There was a very interesting exhibition in LA about Alice last year. Surprisingly good. ** Okay, sincerest apologies for that p.s. Let’s see if I can pull through a bit more tomorrow. Enjoy Kosten’s paean to Bill Nelson to your fullest. See you tomorrow.
Now available in North America 
@Laura: Your recollection of that documentary & your punchline were hilarious. But that wasn’t quite my point re. Herzog. I am a firm believer that many traditional societies & cultures possess a wisdom that is quite beyond our civilization’s supposed capabilities. Cliche or not, we do have a lot to learn from them, despite assholes of course being everywhere. I mean the way the Yoruba define their gods pretty much saved my life. Equally the Aztec philosophy behind Quetzalcoatl, or the Bamana’s teachings about god-union. I could list ten more examples. My beef with Herzog is that his encounters with deep cultures only ever fit his own aesthetic gameplan. He never humbles himself to learn from them, like Rothenberg did when he lived with the Seneca Indians, or people like Pierre Verger who always remained a student of the Yoruba. Anyway, tiny excerpt from a ten hour rant that lurks within me, haha
yea Carsten i get you! but wouldn’t you say the Yoruba (Oyo Empire etc) and especially the Aztecs were huge, sophisticated, imperial civilisations? hardly indigenous governance-style nor ‘traditional’ except for the slavery and the human sacrifice i suppose, but i won’t get anachronistic here lol. i do think some Empires are wayyy better than others and i’m thankful to the teachings which helped you found your religious/spiritual (?) groove bc you’re fun and you need to be here etc. ^_^
Thanks, that’s nice of you to say.
No of course, you’re absolutely right with those examples of civilizations in their own right. I guess with every ethnic group I always separate the traditional spiritual teachings from the technological, sociopolitic entities. Both arise within the same culture, but are usually driven by very different ideologies & people. That’s a highly complex subject & differs from case to case—there are examples where the ruling class & the priestly/shamanic leaders were at odds, others where they were in cahoots, still others where the shamanic tradition got watered down or lost entirely, & endless variations. Plus the thing with paganism is that there’s never one dogma, one fixed tradition. The cult of god A may be profoundly at odds with the cult of god B. The Aztecs are a good example. The civilization turned into a decadent, exploitative leader cult where priests served the elites & manipulated the masses. The Quetzalcoatl “school” reached back to Toltec teachings & beyond, was basically a shamanic tradition. And shamans never mix with empire-builders, so at the height of the political human sacrifice craze you have this school that opposes it. I always try to be brief in these comments but with stuff like this I have to be specific. With me it’s always been a quest for the core teaching, the base matter stuff at the root. Not always easy to uncover. The Yoruba too of course flourished & expanded & here & there got deeply corrupted in the process, developed cults to uphold that corruption & so on. But with a little effort you can spot the deep traditions, often kept remarkably pure by their followers (secret societies & specific god cults especially), & then you notice the profound similarities to neighboring tribes that never developed into what we call “sophisticated civilizations”. Call it a shamanic base of sorts, often reaching deep into pre-history. So in a nutshell I’m saying that of course no society is ever pure or perfect & it’s absurd to say so or idealize any one, but at the same time civilizations can but don’t have to wipe out shamanic traditions. Europe’s a good example, where those traditions either vanished or were driven underground.
yeah i get you! tho i think it’s def interesting that w/o the imperial stuff the underlying culture would have had a fraction of the reach. anyway i’m far from the expert here, that’s ye thing, but i once had this convo with someone from Siberia who idk maybe didn’t follow a shamanic tradition per se but it was her heritage, she was like ‘we never actually worshipped nature, it’s more of a metaphor’ and i thought that was v cool bc shamanic religions are so ancient obvi, and yet they were already dealing in unspeakables, there’s maybe nothing new under the sun. ^_^
Absolutely. The shamanic traditions, or ur-beliefs, are incredibly complex & sophisticated. It goes way beyond the simplistic nature-worship cliche. Animism probably explains it best to our uprooted ears: a holistic embrace of everything as sacred. It’s all about the ineffable, but paradoxically as experienced in every thing, living or dead. I mean supposedly “primitive” hunters’ clans have a spiritual worldview that is astounding in its metaphysics. And I think more often than not, civilization tends to water that old mysticism down, or tie it up into rigid dogma, which makes the old spark all but unrecognizable. Look at India: the way the brahmins twisted the wild wisdom of the Vedic hymns into an elaborate system of conduct, caste & hierarchy is absolutely preposterous but unfortunately colors much of contemporary Hinduism. It’s the outcasts who find their way back to the roots of wild vision, the god-drunk devotee-poets, or the crazy wisdom school of Tibet.
Ah Dennis, might be time for the roommate to take the wheel if they haven’t yet, and call the doctor! when i had covid the first few days were just a cold, day 5 or so is when it got bad. probably not your case at all but pls get a test and rest yourself loads, it helps. let the haze run through you and let us know how you’re doing when you can. thinking of you! all the love <3
Hello hello Dennis!
Was gonna respond yesterday but I was out with some friends and fell asleep the second I stepped through my door.
So so happy about Zita finally answering, and them still being positive about the idea. Crossing my fingers for mid-march! See you there and then hopefully?
I’m free from homework nowadays but got a lot of stuff going on! Me and two friends recently decided we want to start some kind of art collective that just do just about anything because it’s fun to do pretentious stuff. We’ve got this movie going on that’s kind of like a performance piece and we’re also figuring out how to make something out of this instagram page I found. It belonged to this mother in a little Swedish village that lost her son 5 years ago, and I got kind of crazy and started looking through every post and trying to decode what they mean. It was just pretty sad at the start but we’ve now gone down some twisted rabbit hole. according to the info we’ve got from her insta, there seems to have been some spooky gathering in the woods the same night her son disappeared (he had been at a party before leaving the place without putting on any clothes, barefoot and without a jacket in the cold December) and people are suspecting some cultish thing that may have killed him. There’s also rumors about his twin brother killing him, kids at the kindergarten saying spooky stuff like ”my daddy beat up that guy Mattias that disappeared”, and there is just something really off about all of it. Do you hear how crazy this sounds??? For this to happen in some small Swedish village too??? We’ll see if it turns into a book or a poem or a song, but it’s exciting and sad at the same time.
Very excited for Christmas! Here in Sweden we celebrate it the 24th, so it really is just around the corner. Every Christmas, we go to my grandma who lives kind of in the middle of nowhere and we celebrate there. We then sleep over for a couple of days and keep the celebrations going. It’s really nice and fun, and as marketed ”the most wonderful time of the year”! You love Christmas, don’t you? You doing anything special this year? Got any traditions you always follow? Either way I wish you the happiest of holidays and a very Merry (but early) Christmas!
Ho ho ho, Måns
Ps: you got any favorite Christmas movie? Mine is probably ’It’s a Wonderful Life’ or ’Gremlins’
hi dennis, ill keep this short in case your illness stays bad.
good post gonna listen to ‘quit dreaming…’ and read the fanzine thx kosten.
christmas fine, too many gifts. watching gnosia the anime, its good, watching heated rivalry the show, its fine. my bookclub restarted after we were gonna read closer but life happened,. we are on a fantasy romance book called swordcrossed, it is mid sometimes really bad. i am ok with it though i need to find something else to not want to shoot myself. maybe a good book will be found on the year end list.
idk what else, ill write more later if sickness goes away.
short update; decided to pick up your name here and schattenfroh from deep vellum / dalkey, they gave me a free e-book / pdf versions to go with my real-books which adds them to buy forever list even if i get why most publishers don’t do that.
quit dreaming (and get on the beam) is really fantastic, probably would be on my number one pre-2025 discovery album if i felt the need to make lists.
@ Kosten Koper ty so much for this post! so much good stuff, gonna keep me busy for a while. ^_^
Hey Dennis,
Sorry to hear about the progression of your illness, if it’s anything like I had a few weeks back, it’s bad, then shit for about 3 days, and then ok for a couple more.
Still waiting on gifts to arrive — last update one was in Lille, and another was in Rotterdam… thankfully they’re just my own presents that i sorted out for my parents, but I doubt they’ll be here on Christmas day. My sibling’s birthday is so close to Christmas that I have enough presents to sort out Christmas OR a birthday, but maybe lacking in one more thing for both, ugh.
Do you have any plans for Christmas, I know the buche, but even any films you might watch on the day? We always watch It’s A Wonderful Life, and then a mix of movies that are airing and random films we’ve not had the time for.
Hoping that you’ll be feeling better soon
@ Kosten, thank you for this mighty intro to the work of Bill Nelson! Will investigate more fully as the day unfolds.
@ DC, feel much better soon! Today I successfully ran the gauntlet of M&S Xmas shopping and it’s very much kill or be killed out there. Remember back in the 90s I would be working on the cash register at this hardware shop in Leeds known as Wilko’s and the seasonal shift would never be for the faint of heart. More than anything else it would be the constant soundtrack of Xmas songs that would drive me insane. Got to love it though.
Interesting that he worked with Billy McKenzie. The Associates were from Dundee and lent their name to a DCA show that featured various local alumni including a few of my mates.
@Karsten–Thanks for this Day! I’m not familiar with Nelson beyond Bebop Deluxe, but I’ll give your links a careful listen.
I’d second Laura’s recommendation to see a doctor and test yourself for COVID. I hope things turn around tomorrow.
@Kosten: Very cool piece, man. I’ll do some more serious listening in over the next few days as things wind down.
@DC: Sorry to hear that your cold turned nasty. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Once we’re both fit & able again let’s battle it out over Herzog, cause I sure am interested in your take.
Saw Jarmusch do one of those four favorite films videos for Letterboxd. It’s here: https://youtube.com/shorts/eh23C249WxM?si=hF03B9vdhQNjS_VO
He lists “They Live by Night”, “Mirror”, “Céline & Julie Go Boating” & “Point Blank”. Hell of a list. I haven’t seen the Nick Ray in ages but remember loving it. And I’m fully on board with “Point Blank”, the avant-gardist’s crime film.
Come on let’s play this silly game, seeing as we’re both sick & befogged, haha. Here’s mine for the day:
Yeelen (Souleymane Cissé)
Looking for Mushrooms (Bruce Conner)
Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song (Melvin Van Peebles)
Scorpio Rising/Lucifer Rising (Kenneth Anger)
Cheating with the last one cause I’m too dazed to pick between the two.
Hey Dennis, many thanks for hosting my humble tribute to the man, it was his 77th birthday on December 18th. ‘Forwards ever, backwards never’ is the key here. Hope it resonates with some of you out there. Love from Brussels to all. XX KK
I’ve never heard of Bill Nelson! Seems like I have some homework to do. Cool that he worked with YMO / Takahashi.
About your illness, if you have a productive cough (coughing up mucus) for 1-3 weeks, it’s probably bronchitis. If you have a fever and/or body aches it might be the flu. Definitely go to the doctor if you have a fever lasting more than a day or two, or shortness of breath.
I’m still sick too, been coughing for about two weeks and on Friday I coughed so hard I injured my ribs, so I’ve been cycling painkillers since then. Terrible luck lol. Hopefully we’ll both feel well enough to enjoy Christmas!
Hey Dennis,
It’s nice to hear that My Loose Thread is one of your favorite novels you’ve written- I really like the atmosphere of it all and I relate a lot to the frantic and confused nature of Larry’s character, my high school self really felt seen by it.
In response to your question about how I’m spending the holidays- I’m visiting my parents in the suburbs of the Bay Area and seeing old friends and pretending to know anything about football haha. It’s nice seeing people but it’s so still here compared to New York that it just feels like time has stopped. I like it but only because I know that I’ll be able to leave soon, not sure if I could stay here for more than a week or two without losing it. My local library has a first edition of My Loose Thread by the way. I love Sue de Beer’s cover art on it. It feels so spot on with the story. I feel like I remember reading somewhere that your publisher changed the cover for the second edition because it was too graphic. Is that true? I’m interested in how that transpired.
Anyway, I’m glad to read that RT is getting more New York showings. Can’t wait to watch it again! Hope you feel better soon 🙂
Sorry to hear you’re ill, Dennis. Perhaps a passenger from your recent flight? They’re such cesspools. Get some rest and feel better ASAP. Hopefully I didn’t pick up anything too nasty from mine. I ended up watching the Spinal Tap sequel, pretty weird after the recent tragedy. Also the Bowie doc from a couple years ago. Would have been better if they stopped right before Let’s Dance, but of course that didn’t happen.
Thanks for this fine day, Kosten. I love Nelson’s music from the Love that Whirls and Chimera period, but don’t know anything about his other activities.
Bill
Hey Dennis, sorry to hear about your flu. I’m hearing loads of reports of people being really ill at the moment. I generally get really pissed off when I’m sick and start to bemoan being forced to exist in a corporeal form, and by the time I stop having those thoughts I realise I’m getting better, so relaxing might be the key?
Getting amped for Xmas. I like the chaos of the days before for some reason, and I’m well aware that I’m alone in that. I just think there’s something cozy about it. Also something that happened today, apparently my aunt read something I wrote on substack somehow and told my dad that I’m basically deranged and unwell. I’m supposed to see my extended family on the 28th so I’m really dreading that. A conversation about subversive art with my family sounds like a cruel and unusual punishment.
P.S. Thanks Kosten. I don’t think I know Bill Nelson by name but it’s cool to discover that he’s had a part in some music I love, YMO for sure and I was listening to Cabaret Voltaire a lot recently. I’m definitely very intrigued and will continue to explore
Dennis! If you see this, seasons greetings and get well soon.
Had the yearly holiday argument about something boring, but now that’s out of the way and all is well. Happy Xmas and hope you’re somewhere on the way to a recovery!
Golly haha thanks for making me seem so additive im happy to shine and add it to stuff you know me! Go KART is amazing and its just like a perfect Christmas if you take the new wheels for a ride and wreck it like what else is there to do I hope you floored it and didn’t completely eat it haha! oh heres my current Favorite Albums of 2026 list!
Favorite Albums of 2025
– Zara Larsson – Midnight Sun
– Two Shell – IIcons
– Adéla – The Provocateur
– TWICE – TEN : The story goes on
– Torus – Summer Of Love / Starlight Divergence
– Fka Twigs – Eusexua Afterglow
– JADE – THAT’S SHOWBIZ BABY
– aespa – Rich Man
– VVS – D.I.M.M.
– I-dle – We Are
– Bladee & Yung Lean – Evil World
– f5ve – Sequence 01
– Artms – Club Icarus
– Oklou – Choke Enough (Deluxe)
– (STELAR) Miss Madeline & Chase Icon – Strawberry Lemonade
I may make more but my main question after your super good list is how do you find all this interesting stuff! whats the most random find of the year and what did you search for to find? Ill be back Im sorta on a mission but travel is so much easier now funny how that works and shifts tones even ttylxoxobrb!
Great list… I’d almost forgotten about Evil World, top 10 for me too.
Oklou is probably my #1. Rosalía and Ninajirachi complete the top 3.
Oklou > Rosalía…? no way my man
They’re kinda joint 1st at the mo, but Oklou I’ve been able to wallow in for like almost a full year while I’m still taking in all of LUX…
Ask me again when I fully processed em both!
If anyone sees this, I’m a little too sick to do the blog today (Wed.). I’ll try for tomorrow.
Get some rest & take care of yourself. Hope you feel better soon
gah the blog won’t let me reply to you anymore where it’s not irritating, just wanted to say i get it and really it’s not even unfamiliar, like, muslim pseudo-pantheism, everything is an ayatollah, a sign of God, so we’re all doing the same thing in the end lol <3
True. About the replies: maybe we broke the comments section above. Its machinations are strange indeed.
Let’s see if this one flies…
take care! hope you get better!
We guessed as much… this year’s flu ain’t nothing to fuck with. 🙁
Go sip on warm stuff and ride it out. Maybe let yr roomie fetch a test to see if it’s flu or covid.
omg it’s my husband or smth =)
** My wife! **
xXmas party in the DC blog comment section!
did anyone see this… Calhoun, I was like worried! ^_^
thnx for checking in and now go rest and check out Heated Rivalry which is better than i thought at first, when i already liked it lol. you know you want to! hang in there <3
Happy Xmas Eve! Sorry to hear you’ve got the flu. Sometimes after traveling and doing loads of events, the body falls apart after, at least in my experience. Hope it passes quick and doesn’t ruin your whole Xmas. Can you get up to much while you’re sick? Watching an movies or reading or anything?
Today’s turning into one of those waiting periods because, as I think I mentioned before, my friends and I are going to Midnight Mass this evening. I feel like I’m sort of wasting my whole day in anticipation of that. I should read or something, I don’t know.
Just finished reading this book by some friends called Jaw Filler (Maz Murray and Charlie Markbreiter), that Montez Press just put out. It’s so funny and bizarre. It’s sort of a detective novel about a kid who goes missing in a virtual reality trans commune created by a himbo influencer, but that’s really underselling it. Worth a look if you need something to laugh!
Take care, Dennis! The flu is pretty bad here too this year. Get lots of rest. Much love and speedy recovery wishes to you xxx
Great post today Kosten! I like some of this music already, will be adding the stuff that’s new to me to my library :^)
Hey Dennis, sorry to hear you’re still sick. I hope you feel better for the holidays, & if not, I hope you will have some hot drinks or broths to comfort you. Do you plan on treating yourself to anything comforting? When I’m sick I like to make a ginger & salmon broth, it’s savory and it soothes my stomach.
Also I wanted to let you know, since I was put on to the book through that one reading you did last fall, that I got my brother Castle Faggot for Christmas. Very excited to see what he thinks of it.
Hope you have a happy & healthy holiday season!