—-
Welcome back to DC’s Writers Workshop. This is the twelfth in a series of days on the blog where writers who are part of the blog’s community present work-in-progress in search of the opinions, responses, advice, and critiques of both readers who don’t normally post comments here and local inhabitants of this place. I ask everyone to please read these works with the same attention you give the normal brand of posts here and respond in some way in the comments section below. Obviously, the closer your attention and the more you’re able and willing to say to the writer the better. But any kind of related comment is welcome, even a simple sentence or two indicating you read the piece of writing and felt something or other about it would be helpful. The only guideline I’m going to give out regarding comments is that any response, whether lengthy or brief, praise filled or critical or anywhere inbetween, should be presented in a spirit of helping the writer in question. I’ll be responding to the work too in the Comments section towards the end of the weekend. So, I guess all of that is probably clear. Giving support to the artists of different kinds who read and post on the blog has always been a very important aspect of this project, and this workshop series represents an opportunity to make that aspect more formal and explicit. This weekend’s workshop features a new short story by Postitbreakup — writer, blog/site proprietor, and one of this blog’s longtime distinguished locals. He asks for any thoughts, support, or criticism you can give him. I thank him greatly for entrusting his work to us, and I thank you all in advance for your kind participation. — D.C.
FECAL MATTERS
—-I founded the premiere excrement-based social network, RateMyDump.com. It’s not the only place online appealing to both frat boys and scat fetishists, but it’s growing and profitable. (At least that’s what I tell my father.) So when I get Morrison’s email, I’m naturally intrigued, both by its subject line—that Nietzsche quote about the abyss—and the attached image, a scanned Polaroid of a shit the size of a baby.
—-Of course, it’s probably Photoshopped, or at least trick photography: a regular-sized turd in a kid’s training toilet, maybe. You’d be amazed the lengths people will go to get their shits Liked and retweeted. Usually I’d delete such a picture, or just upload and forget it, but the four vodka martinis I’ve swallowed (sans vermouth) convince me to do otherwise. A phone number’s written neatly on the Polaroid in brown Sharpie; I dial.
—-A gruff man picks up mid-ring, startling me.
—-I say, “This is Craig Richards, responding to your Dump Submission?”
—-“Christ…” Without muffling the receiver, he shouts, “It’s for you!”
—-A meek kid picks up, presumably the man’s son. “This is me, I mean he. Morrison.”
—-I tell him that I’ve seen a “shit-ton” (he doesn’t laugh) of submissions, yet his stands out by far. “Unless”—I pause here for drama, and to take another sip— “it’s fake.”
—-“No!” His voice cracks. “It’s real. I can prove it.”
*
Meeting an anonymous shitter is certainly not something my father—Mr. Arnold Richards, CEO—would have done, which makes the idea even more appealing. Plus I’m grateful to have plans on a Saturday night, and Morrison lives only fifteen minutes away.
—-I consider taking a cab, but my money’s tied up in paying for bandwidth, not to mention rent. Though RateMyDump gets a decent number of hits, the Google AdWords and the Amazon referrals to Everyone Poops haven’t generated much revenue. So I gargle mouthwash and stumble to my car.
—-Morrison instructed me not to ring the bell, said he’d come outside, but I’ve been waiting almost ten minutes and I’m starting to get uneasy, starting to think my night would have been better spent beginning the paper that’s due Monday—for someone who’s just changed his major to Art History, I sure hate writing about the Renaissance—but then a freckly kid with stringy hair is knocking at my window, which I awkwardly roll down, then up, before finally opening the door.
—-“Sorry I didn’t come out sooner,” Morrison says. “I thought my dad might have woken up, but it was just his restless leg.”
—-Morrison leads me inside, past the kitchen, where my first thought—to snag one of the liquor bottles from the cabinet—makes me wonder, not for the first time, if I’m developing a problem. We tiptoe past the recliner where his father sleeps, twitching, and head upstairs to Morrison’s room.
—-He shuts the door behind us and begins digging around in the closet while I pace, not wanting to sit on the bed, though it’s the only furniture in the room. I briefly worry that he’s going to pull out an axe and murder me or something, and I imagine how, at the funeral, my father would point out—in an impromptu deviation from the eulogy his secretary wrote—that I had it coming, God damn it, and this never would have happened if I’d completed an MBA.
—-Instead, Morrison presents me with a tremendous Tupperware, and there it is, the enormous poo, dry and crumbly, but unmistakably genuine. The smell makes my eyes water, almost buckles my knees.
—-I wasn’t initially that interested in feces; RateMyDump started as a passive-aggressive response to an odious assignment for the entrepreneurship class I eventually dropped. Yet the project soon began swallowing more and more of my time, as I—driven by the same childish mix of voyeurism and awe that causes one to watch pimple-popping videos on YouTube—couldn’t look away. Here was this natural but filthy thing we all pretend not to do, for once on display.
—-But Morrison’s shit seems like something beyond all this. Maybe even art.
—-“So do you like it?” he asks, sounding like a kid showing a bike trick to his mom.
—-I nod, but ask him how he did it, if it hurt. He tells me that he’s trained for this, that he’ll wait for days while the crap builds up inside him before unloading. “This is my biggest yet.”
—-Morrison stands there beaming, so proud, so hopeful. I’m nauseated, knocked back into sobriety.
—-“Well,” I say, “I’ll definitely upload this one to the Hall of Fame. And be sure to send me any more you… create.”
—-When I reach for the door, he asks, “Don’t you want to stay?” He clenches his Tupperware, unable to mask a frown.
—-“Sorry,” I say. “I have other pictures to authenticate.”
—-For a moment I’m pleased with my cleverness, but downstairs, creeping past Morrison’s father, I’m filthy and ashamed. The feeling worsens when I decide to snag a liquor bottle on my way out after all, and doesn’t abate until I return to my apartment and send my an advisor an email about switching back my major, an email I forward to my dad..
*
A few months later, during an excruciating accounting lecture, my phone buzzes. It’s an email from Morrison’s father, who evidently found on his son’s computer all the unanswered emails Morrison had written to me. Morrison is dead: fatal bowel obstruction.
—-I delete the email, pocket my phone, return my attention to the lecture. Shit happens.
—-
*
p.s. Hey. So, yes, please give your attention, thoughts, and some commentary to Postitbreakup’s short story this weekend. I would appreciate it greatly, and, obviously, so will he. I’ll pipe in with my own comments towards the end of Sunday. Thanks very much! I got okay sleep last night. My jetlag is sort of just a fuzz so far. We’ll see. D.l.s Joakim Almroth and Disco 3-way are in Paris, and I get to hang out with them today. I’ll tell them hi for you. ** Thursday ** Sypha, Hi. ‘Death Note’ … that’s a TV thing or what? I’ll find out. Thanks. I kind of want a movie theater franchise too. Some kind of quality populist dependable thing. Hm. Oh, you’re playing that Skyrim game. A few people I know are in its midst. I would play that in less than a heartbeat if there wasn’t so much battling and fighting all the time. It looks incredible. The ‘American Psycho’ remake is, obviously, an incredibly stupid, ghastly idea. I’m sure you know they’re going to set it now rather than in the ’80s. Why would Bret agree to that? I’m completely confused. ** Bernard Welt, Well, it was supposed to be a 5-way gang banging orgy type of deal, but none of us was able to make any of the rest of us hard, so it’s kind of a soft core deal. ** Posing at the Louvre, Hey, buddy! Yeah, I got the email/post, and it’s super awesome, and I’m very grateful, and I’ll give you the launch date very shortly. Some people have found melatonin helpful for jet lag. I take it every night, so I don’t know if it helps or not. I’ve scoured the net, airwaves, my fellow afflicted, you name it, for any help on that gruesome condition, and I’ve never found a thing that makes much difference. From Europe to LA is, whoa, hard. My strategy is just the simple one of doing what it takes to stay awake until at least 9 pm the first night. In my experience, the first night isn’t so bad, so you might be okayish for the thing you need to do. It’s the second night onwards when the lag really kicks in. Serious sympathy and hugs, man, but I would guess you’ll be okay. ** MANCY, Hey. Thanks, man. Wow, very cool that your friend’s band played with later era Sky Saxon. I had a few brief encounters with him in the 90s, and trippy is the word. I know of The Birds, but I’m not sure that I’ve ever actually heard them. If they’re kind of like The Creation, I’m definitely geared to dig them. I’ll hunt. Thanks again! ** Killer Luka, Who’s JKR? I know I’m going to slap myself and go ‘duh’ when you tell me. I do remember you talking about ‘House of Dolls’, sure. Well, it sounds intriguing to ay the least. I’ve already started looking into doing a Stalag post. Maybe I’ll have beginners luck. So, I’m guessing that bacon flavored floss tastes more like Bacos? I love Bacos. I eat them like popcorn. ** Kyler, The first cigarette post long flight is always a mixed blessing, which is strange. I think in my case it’s because I wear a nicotine patch when I fly, and so the reunion with my cigarettes feels more like a detour. Well, cool, about your novel. Look forward to it. G’morning. ** Pilgarlic, Hey. Great Garage Rock stories, man. I knew I could count on you. I saw Tommy James/ Shondells at one of those festival situation you describe, i.e. at a big, very hip LA rock festival in the late ’60s. Devonshire Downs, for the record. Same deal with groans upon their arrival and then a gradually won-over enthusiasm. That Tommy James fella was kind of a pop rock genius. The band on the bill at DD that arrived to groans and did the opposite of winning the crowd over was Creedence Clearwater, who did not sound good when one was tripping, not even in their famous attempt at trippiness, ‘Suzie Q’. Super glad the rehab has started and is making you feel good. Great! ** Bollo, Hey. I don’t when that NYT thing comes out. If I find out in advance, I’ll let you know. Soonish, I guess. Nice Xmas gift there, man. Nice lil brother. I’ve flown Air France so often lately that I ended up running out of movies that I could tolerate watching on that last flight. I did watch ‘Submarine’, which I liked ok. Still, how many more movies like less daring ‘Rushmore’ clones with a stick up their butts are people going to make? You hate Love? That’s crazy talk. I don’t even know what to say to that. Holy shit. ** Ken Baumann, Ken! Yeah, I mean, I walked to the photo studio (Chelsea Piers) in the rain from SoHo and they didn’t powder me or anything. I just wrote down that Lebanese restaurant’s name for future NYC reference. Cool. I ate at this kind of very good noodle place, Kelley & Ping. Greene Street between Houston and Prince. It’s been there for almost forever. Good stuff. My caffeine comedown is pretty mild. It doesn’t get emotional for me. It’s just a slow energy drain thing. I probably drink a lot more coffee more regularly than you do, and my body has probably built up some kind of defense system against the let down part. That sounds awful. How are you with sugar, sugar rushes, post-sugar come down? ** Misanthrope, Didn’t meet Amis, no. I hear he’s super short. I’ve met people who’ve known him a little, and some say he’s nice, and some say he’s a total prick, so maybe he’s both. I’m happy that, within your top 5 writers photo shoot, I’m still the weirdo of the bunch. Thank you! I’m starting to get this ‘Twin Peaks’ vibe from your work situation, which is not a bad thing, obviously. It was big Jim’s birthday two days ago? I’ll bet Pere Lachaise was hopping. ** Alan, Ooh, that sounds good. ‘Possession’. I’ll get myself an uncensored torrent from somewhere, you bet. I’m not too lagged, thanks. I’m really glad to hear you’re submitting the novel. Yeah, diligence, stay the course, don’t let any rejections you might receive mean much of anything to you. It’ll happen. ** Steevee, You saw ‘Possession’ too. Hm, yeah, it sounds well worth seeing. Thanks! ** David kelso-housman, I don’t think I’ll be writing any blockbusters. If I ever speak of such a goal, I hope someone here shakes me back to my senses. In fact, if I ever speak of wanting to write any kind of ‘genre’ book, even a YA book, I’ll expect a wake up call from people here. Originally, my Horror Hospital story was going to be the beginning of a YA kind of novel, but as I had apparently already crossed the no-no line within about six sentences, according to my agent, it never happened. ** James, Hey, James. I was put up at the Mondrian Hotel, Soho, on Crosby St. just south of Grand St. New, chic, but not obnoxious about it. If you ever stay there, ask for a room high up and on the corner of the building. That’s what I had. Really, the walls — or two of them — were windows. Crazy view. Love to you too, bud. ** Bill, Hi. The flight was okay. Great that you got to see Bill Jones. Yeah, he’s terrific, as is his work. 40+ dronesters? Excuse me if I get excited by that prospect. Can you say more? Will you do a sound drone or a visual drone or both or … ? ** Friday ** Marc Vallée, Hey, Mark. Yeah, Cameron is trying to bring down Europe singlehandedly, ha ha. Good luck with that one. Oh, Dom Lyne, awesome! He’s great! That’s fantastic that you guys are going to work together. How is that going to work? I would love to see the results, obviously. Give him a hug for me. Very cool! ** David Ehrenstein, Thanks for the Buckaroo hologram link. I remember that now. Nice. Very, very sad about Gilbert Adair’s death. Amazing guy for so many reasons. His Perec translations alone are totally heroic. RIP. ** David kelso-housman, Oh, ‘Wild Palms’. Back when TV took some chances briefly in the light of the initial popularity of ‘Twin Peaks’. ** Steevee, Hm, I’ll give Jacques Vallee a look. I don’t know his stuff at all. ** _Black_Acrylic, Nice to be back, thanks! Great about finishing your YnY article. The anticipation builds. Bawbag is quite a word for a scrotum. Wow. I’ve got to use that somewhere. ** Chris Cochrane, Hi, C. Well, Ira’s job change affects me in that he’s not my agent anymore. I have a new one now. It’s great for him, but it is weird ‘cos he had been my agent from the beginning, and I’ve always relied on his advice and counsel. Even though he’s younger than me, it kind of feels like losing a parental figure. But my new agent is going to be great, I think. That Fight Magazine thing isn’t online, right? All I could find was the issue’s cover. I do know ‘River of Orchids’, yes, and it is a very swell song, I agree. Bon weekend, my friend. ** Shannon, Hey, Shannon. I slept okay, thank goodness. Tonight’s the real test. Great, thank you for the link to your essay! I’ll read it when I’m done with the p.s. Everyone, it was mentioned here the other day that a nonfiction piece by the ultra-fine writer and d.l. Shannon has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and she has kindly linked us up. I very highly recommend that you go read it, ‘cos she’s awesome. She has a little pre-reading advice for potential readers, and here it is in her words: ‘Fair warning, if anyone does not want to read true words about my pussy don’t read this piece. It’s an essay about the first girl to ever make me squirt.’ Okay, now head over there. Can’t wait to read the piece. It’s fantastic that you’re on a writing jag. I’m sure someone will want those new pieces, strange or not. If places are foolish enough not to grab them, listen, this blog would be honored to have any of them anytime. ** Chilly Jay Chill, Hi, Jeff. I don’t know when the photo thing will run, but maybe I’ll be told in advance, and I’ll let you know, if so. Split on ‘Gummo’ is better than I expected based on their reticence with the other films you showed. No, I don’t know that Coleman Dowell novel. I think I’ve only read his diaries. I’ve been meaning to read his fiction for yonks, so maybe I’ll try that one first. Have a free as a bird weekend, pal. ** Okay. Now, please do spend some time with Postitbreakup’s short story over the next couple of days, and please give him your thoughts, however brief or in depth. I’ll see you in the comments arena on late-ish Sunday, and I’ll see you back here on Monday morning.
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Hi Dennis
well hate might be the wrong word, but Love never did anything for me, i think it stems for having the album played on a loop by some people in collage and it really began to annoy me so i think its more a reaction to them/that situation. its also the same with 90% of the songs on the red & blue best of Beatles albums, over played to the sate of nausea whilst being trapped in the car as a kid. rocky raccoon on the other hand makes me feel nice and fuzzy but thats just a memory of someone associated with it.
there so many versions of the same film being made, i dont think anyone is too willing to take a chance, so many remakes too. i always wonder if the people doing the job like the area they work in? or is it just the power, fame and money they like? saying that im gonna check to see if theres anything in in the cinema worth watching i havent been in soo long.
sunday & monday is finish packing then moving stuff tuesday. hope yr weekend is/was a great one!
(ha my typos read like the english policeman from 'allo allo' before i edited them.)
Hey Dennis, yeah I used to take melatonin with some success every night, but since being in the UK I've never been able to find it anywhere (don't know if the places I go just aren't carrying it or if maybe it is regulated or not available here)… whenever I asked, people just look at me strange like I'm asking for pumpkin pie–why would you want a dessert pie made out of a vegetable? "um, well actually it's a fruit…" Maybe insomnia doesn't exist here, so they have no need for it? But I'll be sure to have a bottle of melatonin waiting for me when I land and maybe the hiatus away from it will make it extra-potent/successful!
Post-it? This is the best thing I've read in ages: funny, clever, touching, subversive – man, it ticks all my boxes! So what's it from? Something longer? It's perfect enough, as it stands, to be a really nifty short story, but I have to admit I want to know more about our narrator. I loved his reponse to poor Morrison's request that he stay…
Scat is such an interesting fetish. People are so weird about shit -they say it's programmed into us, don't they? To be repulsed by it cos it's our body's waste. So what does it mean that some people are drawn to it?
Gawd, a million questions here – such a fecund (!) area and I know you;re just the guy to burow down in there and get your hands dirty…
WEelcome back, Dennis – your hotel in Soho sounds awesome. Salman Rushdie, eh? How fucking cool. But hey, you're totally up there with that bunch.
Stay warm and mroe later, pal
wv hunesse – which surely should be a word.
postitbreakup – josh, I;ve read your earlier stories on your various blogs, including one on a coprophagy theme. David Sedaris wrote a story Big Boy about a moment of boyhood panic after pinching off a turd too big to flush. Obviously he escaped the situation. Your narrator's recounting of the fecal wonder kid's powers of retention reminds me of my vicodin habit in 2009. Lets just say I ate more than allowed. I always ran out of pills a few days and eventually weeks early. Obviously I was constipated. but, let a morning go by without the three or four wakeup painkillers and I'd be catching up on lost toilet time.
About the story: I think it has all the usual virtues of your fiction, that is to say, clarity, ease of voice, an imperceptible momentum in the sentences that many never achieve that;s found in genre writers like James M. Cain, Richard Stark ( Donald Westlake) (more on him later) and even the great Robert Aickman. I hope you feel encouraged to continue. As far as I'm concerned, you've always written well and get comic affect and effect more gracefully than me. I envy, you whippersnapper. Be encouraged to keep up the increasingly fine work. You've written a very good story of Sakiesque length. That in itself is not a mean feat. Keep on keeping on, Josh.
Dennis – where is this portrait of the luminaries appearing? Vanity Fair??
postit – Richard Stark wrote many novels about a thief named Parker. There's even a sort of trilogy about stealing an entire bank, If possible, read The Outfit, where Parker has revenge on the Mob. Westlake was a screenwriter ( The Grifters, The Stepfather – an original idea btw) and this novel is kind of cinematic. It's also unusually funny for a Parker novel. Luc Sante sniffed here that Westlake's novels published as Donald Westlake are too cute. What a canard! The Ax is a serial killer story a la Campbell's The Count of Eleven, as well as a dark comedy on downsizing in American industry. A friend of mine read my copy and misplaced it. I didn;t really mind. Her place is usually a shambles. She was worried that her husband would find it and read it and go on a murderous rampage because " he thinks exactly like the guy in the book." Well, The Ax was dug up. A possible murder wave was averted hahaha. Avoid DW's Dortmunder novels, at least wait till you've read Money for Nothing, the story of a remittance man forced into desperate action.
Hey Pistbeakup, are you aware of Chuck Berry's Fecal Cinema? He set up a camera in his bathroom in order to watch women take a dump.
No, I am not making this up.
Gilbert's work as a writer was interesting but Gilbert himself was a piece of work. He was terribly notty to Bill in a manner only exceeded by Amy Taubin. Plus there was that whole claim of his that he had gone straight. The truth was he'd turned 50 and was no longer Tadzio-bait. Add a voracious fag-hag waiting in the wings to nail him and you've got it.
What's TRULY sad is that last year he had a stroke that rendered him blind. He might well have regarded Death as a blessing.
The best cinematic rendition of Parker was Anna Karina
Meredith Brody (to whom Love and Death on Long Island is dedicated) found more on Gilbert
Here.
and
Here
Postit-
Dude, great succinct piece, and hilarious. I'd lose the "shit happens" punchline at this moment, but I dunno I may change my mind.
It's funny I used to be on this post "Open Diary" pre-Myspacefacebook site called Afro Diary. There was this guy called Poopster who obsessively talked about his turds. Believe it or not this was before everyone had digital cameras let alone camera phones. So after a couple years this guy finally gets a camera as he'd been warning and snaps a picture of his shitty toilet. Man what a let down, guy had Crone's Disease (which he never mentioned) and the toilet was full of semi liquid wispy poo. I expected something like Morrison's. R.I.P.
Postitbreakup, great stuff, both titillating and tasteful, given the subject. I'm reminded of Josh Alan Friedman, but that's because I'm currently re-reading "Tales of Times Square". He's clear, concise, ribald and raunchy, so, you're in good company.
Dennis, see, that's funny about the crowd groaning at CCR in the late sixties. In the east we were just catching hold, I guess. In fact, we began mythologizing them, as in the rumor that the reason John Fogarty sang so loud was that when they started they didn't have any microphones. We had trouble believing that John was so squeaky clean, but, when we heard that the band's first name was the Golliwogs, it was easier to accept.
Dennis, you might be able to help me with this. Around 1975, or 1976, college radio played a sort of extended psychedelic-folk number whose chorous went, "Fade away, Titantic, fade away !" I've Googled the fuck out of it, and gone to all sorts of lyrics site and can't find shit on it. It came on one weekend when I was visiting a bud at the University of S.C., like at four a.m., on their college station, two mornings in a row. It became our theme song of the weekend, but, I've never been able to find out who it was.If you have any idea…
Leave It To Jane
Postit
I agree with the other comment about the shit happens ending. In fact the ending seemed too keen to get to the punch line -wraps up too neat & too quick.
Think the piece was too enamored with its content & needed more attention to form.
Assuming the subject is in fact art/writing and not shit & you are kind of showing us your turd in a tupperware then why not embed this idea deeper into the structure – lay the trap more carefully. Dunno what I mean by that – do you know what I mean?
There is a great appendix in Marion Milner's On Not Being Able to Paint, called the Parrots Egg (I think) on shit/anality/creativity – you don't have to buy the theory to appreciate the idea though.
& you have an enviable readable writing voice.
Dennis!
Chelsea Piers: nice. I really like Chelsea and SoHo. Have you been to the Commes des Garcon storefront in Chelsea? It's nutty. A really stark black and white maze, weird walls, uncomfortable angles, men in skirts, a beautiful mouth-like entrance… It's great.
Kelley & Ping: noted.
I love the sugar high & crash, and handle them admirably. I think. The crash is sheer exhaustion, no emotion, so it's better. The weird post-coffee anxiety is bad. I don't get it from tea, though. I think I just killed coffee from my future.
Two articles I've kept open in Chrome for a few days now… one and two. Both mythological in their human failures. I keep thinking of Phaëton.
Yours,
Ken
I took Adderall once – it was prescribed by my shrink when I told him I had problems focusing. It just made me feel jittery, and the crash was much worse than caffeine. I told him I had a really bad experience, and I never took it again, although I think the bottle is still lying in my bathroom somewhere.
I just saw a new book about science fiction, comic books and the paranormal. It looks quite interesting. Jacques Vallee gets mentioned it, and I think it deals with Philip K. Dick and Charles Fort in-depth. Unfortunately, it's a $30 hardcover. Maybe I'll pick it up after I get some money as a Christmas gift.
Caffeine crash? Never happens to me but my philosophy of coffee is akin to my former attitude with booze, not that I abstain or anything. Dont stop drinking and avoid that crash. Or, better yey, use cocaine and chase it with a nice opioid or benzodiazepine as cushion. Wow, i could turn g into a health blog.
DavidE – Didn;t Godard get prevented by lawyers from exhibiting Made in USA in the US? I love how QT nicked his noise drowning out name gimmick for Kill Bill 1 from MiUSA?
Postitbreakup – I really like your piece… I don't necessarily agree that you should lose the punchline at the end, but the piece seems to rush toward it a little, maybe. I really like the voice and the feel of it and can imagine enjoying it for longer…
Dennis – Yeah, I don't think the Birds had a proper album, but look for the collection "A Collector's Guide to Rare British Birds." It is really, really good.
i hope the story is supposed to be as funny as i thought it was, because it's pretty hilarious. so fun, really. but yeah the ending, the "shit happens" seems out of character for him maybe. plus i feel like there is the potential for consequence, like the father taking some sort of action, so i'm not sure if he could be so nonchalant. i dunno, it's fine how it is. also – the part stating that the ceo father wouldn't meet the anonymous shitter might not be needed, just because that's obvious. or maybe just the idea presented differently? just a thought. but i enjoyed it totally. i didn't think about the kid dying at all until he did. very sneaky, great surprise.
Dennis!
what a week. all i have left to do are the gifs. which are harder than i thought, go figure. but my video is done, also this zine i made which i think i might continue. i posted it in web format. the video is there too, very low-fi it was filmed with two cell phones hah. it's kind of embarrassing because half of it is just, like, me. like all my art, wah. so it's finals next week then home to la for a while. my houseplants down there miss me and are starting to off themselves one-by-one. they have feelings, i'm sure. maybe. or my roommates who're in charge of them are behind it. either way i'm coming to their rescue. i have an ungodly amount of houseplants though. i like their energy i guess. so much work though. maybe houseplant holograms?
glad everything in new york went well, i'll be looking for the final product once available of course. i don't know if you know of this artist, chiharu shiota, but she has an installation that was here only for this week, it was so awesome. i just saw it today, i feel like you would really like her stuff if you haven't seen it. it get's pretty provocative.
The film was held up from U.S. release for many years because DeBeauregard didn't pay for the rights to the book on which it was based — "The Jugger" by Richard Stark (aka. Donald E. Westlake)
Meanwhile. . .
Latest FaBlog: Fanfare For An Uncommon Gay Man
Postit – great stuff – I love the brevity, the construction and the casually arch tone. That's assuming it is a self-contained piece? I like the idea that it is – or one of a series of related short pieces possibly. I don't quite agree with those who feel the piece rushes toward its conclusion, because I really like the length, but I was slightly dissappointed by the final segment or punchline. I mean it seems totally in keeping that it has a 'punchline' but maybe it needs tweaking in some way?
Dennis, I finally read TMS just before the weekend…was waiting for a free day when I could devote a long sitting to it, but as I couldn't foresee that happening the book just kind of grabbed me at an opportune moment and forced me to put other things aside for a time. What can I say? I absolutely loved it… I've been avoiding reading anything that would prefigure my response to it, as far as possible, but I had picked up on you saying you felt it was your best novel, and that could have set an impossibly high bar in my expectations. Not that I feel qualified to judge on that basis, but I do think it's my favourite of your books – and just devastating on every level.
I'll try maybe and say something more detailed about it when its affects have sunk in… for now I can finally allow myself to go and see what everyone else has been saying about it.
M x
postit – haha, very entertaining, in the best sense of the word.
dennis – hi! i hope to be back here soon. a copy of TMS is ready to be taken with me on xmas vacation, but there's still two weeks to got w/ a lot of work. hugs.
Postit – I really enjoyed the story. It was very clever and expertly constructed. The sentences were extremely polished and the story told with a confident rhythm — knowing just when to drop in little bits about the father, why the website started, the drinking, etc.
A few possible suggestions: This is small, but I thought there should be a sentence where the narrator lets us know that he's surprised the kid with the massive turd lives so close to him. I'm assuming his site gets submissions from all over the country, so it would probably be unusual that this kid would live within driving distance.
I agree with the others that the last sentence feels too much like an easy punchline. Beyond that, although I appreciated the story's brevity, I thought it could be longer. Maybe I'm reacting to how much I enjoyed the narrative and getting greedy, but it did seem like there was rich material to explore with the narrator avoiding emails from the kid as he presumably tries to top his record. Dramatizing his avoidance and maybe giving just a little bit more about his new major, drinking, and his father would round out the story more – and make the ending with the kid's death more startling. I don't think you necessarily need more than a few additional paragraphs to do this.
Anyhow, that's my two cents. Thanks for sharing this – it was a pleasure to read.
Hey Dennis,
Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised overall that the kids reacted decently to "Gummo." I think the movie is recent enough that it had some context and cultural currency for them – where most of them had no idea about Cassavetes, Brakhage, etc. Even among the film majors, none of them had seen more than, say, a single Fellini or Godard film. In general, they seem to only watch films from the past 10-15 years.
I've been getting reports back this weekend from the work-in-progress shows from my theater piece "Botanica." Overall, it seems to be going well. If anyone is in NYC and wants to check it out, there's a show on Monday, followed by a benefit party. Details here: http://us2.campaign-archive2.com/?u=47041daa6c3664096a0261a5c&id;=a8f35cf0af
At some point in January, would you be interested in a guest post about the show and some of its influences (The Secret Life of Plants, Blanchot, Aragon, Bataille, old Russian biodomes, etc.)?
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@ Postitbreakup, well your name's spelled incorrectly at the top of the page! Other than that…
Really enjoyed the story. I'm going to join the punchline naysayers I'm afraid, but maybe some alternative payoff could still work.
I though bits of it could use expanding as the ideas are so good. The social network for coprophiles. Who are these people? I want to know more! That's a sitcom concept right there.
The voice and the pace were really effective. It actually reminded me a bit of TMS in places. Was that an influence? Could this be the first post-TMS literature?
Postitbreakup,
First, thanks a lot for putting your story in the blog's spotlight, Josh. I think the story has the wonderful characteristics I've always admired about your prose. It doesn't waste a word or ever slack off, being always attentive to detail and geared to give pleasure. The writing is sleek, jumpy but never ostentatious, and even the simplest sentences are rhythmically interesting and cleverly composed in an understated way. And it's not easy to create subtle comedy using subject matter as unsubtle as shit, but you have.
I find the narrator quite interesting. His story and his choices of what to tell, let slip, and deliberately reveal about himself are full of hints at someone who seems rather complicated, whether it's the stuff about his CEO father, his drinking, his Art History major, or the little bits you say about his running of the site, its maintenance and its readership. He's real and detailed enough that all kinds of questions arose for me about things the story never goes into, like why he chose to run a scat site and what he finds pleasurable (or not) about it, etc.
The boy shitter is also well drawn and even sympathetic, I think, and, again, there's enough of him described and doted upon that I wondered why he gets off on making big shits, and, say, why he was perturbed when the site's host rushed off, and what exactly is the relationship between him and his father, and so on.
That's why I agree with some of the other people here that the ending section after the last asterisk happens too quickly and feels too brushed off. I feel like after going so far as to create a narrator and character with curious quirks and degrees of backstory, it's disappointing that the punchline-like ending slights them. I felt like I was left hanging. Why was the narrator so brusk and callous about the death? Why was the boy's shit valuable but not the boy? Why exactly is the narrator such a creep? Is it that he hates doing the scat site? There seems to be something going on in his head about his CEO father. Is that part of the reason? Etc. I felt like there might be answers to these questions, but that they were kept hidden.
How did the father phrase the email about his son's death? Was he blunt, cold, angry, sad, dismissive, or … etc.? After creating the shitter boy character and giving him the worries about his dad finding out and his obsession with creating big shits and his emotional response to the site owner's fast departure, I felt like so much was truncated. I mean, the whole story is a comedy, but, until the ending, it was a somewhat complex comedy. But then, in the ending, everything is hurried and flattened out, and I felt let down.
I feel like you can keep the bowel obstruction death and the joke-like conclusion, but I do feel like the last section needs to be more fleshed out in order to make the voice/prose there match the more detailed and self-reflexive one that told the story up until that point. Even a few short paragraphs and/or some dialogue could maybe be enough. Personally, I think this story could be quite a bit longer and get into a lot more about the narrator, site, etc., but, obviously, I don't know whether you feel this particular story can hold your attention for that long. Either way, I like the piece a lot, and I just wish its ending didn't drop the ball on what was quite a promising and satisfying set up, if that makes sense. Thanks again, Josh, and much respect to you!
Hey, Dennis! This is unrelated to this post, but I was hoping you might be able to answer a question for me. (I'm writing my senior essay on queer aesthetics and am writing one of the chapters, hehe, on your work.) So here's the question: On page 135 of TMS, the narrator says, "to quote and qualify Rimbaud, I might defy you to prove that I do not contain multitudes". I presume there's a reference to Whitman, here, but I can't find what in Rimbaud he is referring to, if he is. Could you help me out?
Would also love to send the paper to you when it's finished. Am an enormous fan.
–Kenneth
As regards 'Fecal Matters', I think this is a really interesting place to write from:
"I wasn’t initially that interested in feces; RateMyDump started as a passive-aggressive response to an odious assignment for the entrepreneurship class I eventually dropped."
This is a key moment for elucidating the character, and I wonder if there are more things that he can do out of spite, or in opposition to the kind of world where entrepreneurship classes exist. How did teachers and parents and students respond to that? Feel like this is a good point of entry.
I also really interested in that online world and would like to see more of it. How seriously does he take this website? How seriously do the people who use it take it? Basically I feel like this should become a bigger thing!
"In general, they seem to only watch films from the past 10-15 years."
It's The Tyranny of the "New."
@DavidEhrenstein–When I look back on my own film viewing in college, I just realized that film history was a bit more compressed then. I saw WINGS OF DESIRE & DEAD RINGERS in my first semester of college, and they changed my idea of what film could be. I went back and watched most of Wim Wenders' '70s films and learned about New German Cinema, but most of what I watched was less than 20 years old at that point. I got into the French New Wave as well, but even that was only 30 years old or so. I discovered Hollywood directors like Sirk and Tashlin via their influence on Godard and Fassbinder.
Postitbreakup: I like the brevity and humor of the piece. And there's potentially so much more happening.
The way I tend to go about these Workshops is to think, maybe over-think, then respond to the writer via email of whatever sort. Since I've got your email address, and I assume it hasn't changed, I will do that. I do that to include questions and stuff it would take me too long to get into a comment here. If you are not the Josh attached to the email address I have, hit me at [email protected], please.
Dennis: Hey, dude! I really enjoyed the past week and a half on the blog (I don't think I've ever NOT enjoyed this blog). I just don't have the words to survey what struck me as particularly schweet at this moment. My head is covered in boxes, as we're still trying to unpack (which includes a storage locker), and trying to figure out where to put all THIS STUFF! I haven't shared a home with another for a long time (minus a few roomies). Overwhelming is a reductive term for the task!
In some of your comments this past week, you mentioned Twin Peaks. I just got Jimmy to sit down and watch it – over coffees and smokes in the pre-dawn hours, where it seems to make up it's own sense more so than, say, after other daily input of music and images. Jimmy likes it, but didn't think he would, so that's cool. My question for you: Did you ever get into the Twin Peaks' offshoot offerings like the diary, the tape of Agt. Cooper reporting to 'Diane,' the 'travel book,' the card set…etc…?
I saw Odd Hours again last night, cementing my thoughts that they are a force to be reckoned with. I'm hoping you'll accept a brief guest post about the who and what in Detroit for the Winter season, once my brain's more fully rounded again about this place and mine in it.
Absolute best to everyone.
Njr
Postitbreakup, Ha! Loved it, of course. I thought it was pretty pitch perfect until that last bit. The only problem I have with the last tiny section is its tiniest. For some reason, I kept thinking, "I want more!"
Maybe what I'm saying is that this is something upon which to build. It's almost -to me- like part of a larger story. I find that narrator very interesting and want to know more about him.
Though I can see the last bit too as a statement on what you're already saying: how short-lived things on the net can be.
Either way, it's up to you what you do with it. Like I said, initially, I loved it. Please dude, never let that talent go to waste. (Get it? "Waste" Hehehe.)
Dennis, Well, let's see, Amis has false teeth; Self shot heroin on Blair's plane; Chabon had a gay tryst or two in college; and God knows what creepy stuff McCarthy gets up to. But yeah, you're still the weirdo of the bunch. Hahaha. 😀
But damn it, isn't nice being the weirdo? I suppose amongst my terrestrial friends I'm that guy, and I kind of relish it. Especially since I don't have to try.
Typical Jim to have a cemetery hopping, eh? Maybe he wouldn't want his dreams made reality. Seriously, though, you know I still like the dude and the band, so it's always a weird day for me. Kind of like August 16th, with Elvis' death. (And Antonio's now; my God, I swear I've thought about him every day since then. And I think that's good because he was so great and nobody should ever forget him.)
Well, if Amis is described that way by different people, then maybe he's a bit…normal? Seems only not so normal people are exclusively hated or loved.
Yeah, this place has so many charachters. Like the three morbidly obese women I saw the other morning. I just don't know how they can walk carrying all of that – the only barely could. I'm overweight and I huff and puff after a flight of stairs. I can only imagine what that's like.
But it's something/someone new every day. It's kind of fun actually.
downloaded 2nd annual report, god I hadn't heard that in a very long time. crazy trying to prepare for an exam I plan to take in late Jan or early Feb that will allow me to get raise if I pass and allow me some other job opportunities. God, imagine studying and remembering personality theories etc…crazy at my age, oh a a gig on the 20th, busy.
Hope your new agent pans out to be great. Seems like Ira did good for/by you, however that saying goes – have a great week
@positbreakup: Great story! Thanks for sharing it with everyone—as soon as my internet access situation gets fixed I really want to read the rest of your stories. I’m over at a friend’s house right now on his computer and when I stepped out for a cigarette he started reading your story and he really liked it too and said he wants to read your other stories too, which is unusual because he’s really not much of a reader.
I don’t have much criticism to throw your way—it was really funny and easy to read and complicated and stirred up a lot of ideas in my head—the last line made me chuckle—at first I was thinking it was funny but corny, and then a minute later I connected it with the title and it make me chuckle louder than before. But it does end really suddenly. I definitely think the whole thing could be bigger and more complex and more emotional, but it also works great as a really short piece.
Random ideas that entered my head after reading your story, which you might find interesting or you might just roll your eyes at:
1) I feel sorry for the little kid, because he seems so emotionally invested in making really incredible poops—it’s something he trains for, it’s something he’s looking for validation and praise for—and then when maybe the only person on planet Earth who might understand the greatness of his poops personally stops by his house to check it out, he basically just checks it off his list and hits the road. And then the kid dies from doing what he loves, completely unrecognized. He’s like the Van Gogh of poops.
2)I also thought the parallel between the kid wanting recognition for his gigantic poops and the narrator wanting recognition from his CEO dad for founding “the premiere excrement-based social network” was really interesting and funny and invested with a certain genuine pathos, despite how ridiculous and obscene the whole thing is.
3) My favorite line: “Here was this natural but filthy thing we all pretend not to do, for once on display.”
4) Rrrr, why does the narrator sell out and give up at the end? I think the whole story works great, but that’s what was going through my head. Don’t give up on poop! Fuck your CEO dad and keep showing the world the majesty and variety and beauty of “filthy thing(s) we pretend not to do”! And then he starts drinking again, and then he callously brushes off the news of the kid’s death at the end.
Thanks again for sharing the story! I will definitely be reading your other stories on your blog as soon as I get a chance. Have a good week!
Hey Dennis, hope you’ve been well—my laptop still hasn’t come, rrrr. I’m not that surprised because I ordered it on cyber Monday and I’m sure everything is backed up with orders, but it’s still really frustrating because it’s hard for me to get any writing done, I’ve always typed my stuff.
Lately I’ve been trying to write in a notebook, but it just doesn’t feel the same—and the quality of stuff that I do come up with makes me feel like I’m just writing for the trash can. I don’t think I’ve really written anything in a month or longer, which is probably the longest stretch of time I’ve had since I was a teenager. On the positive side, I know that when my laptop does make itself known (and it can’t be more than a few days away) my engines will be seriously primed and raging to go.
TMS is a head fuck. The more I think about it, the more I get reigned in…I really want to organize some of my thoughts and ask you some questions, but I want to wait till I get the computer so I can be careful and thoughtful about it, because I don’t want to ask you any stupid questions.
Also—I figured that you would be open to talking about the novel, but I don’t want to assume anything, so if that’s an idea that bores you, just blink twice.
Anyway, hopefully I’ll talk to you again soon…adios…
Hey Dennis, packed weekend, too many gigs, fundraiser/reunion parties I can't miss, etc etc. I will be a mess on Monday, but fortunately it's the last day of class.
I love holograms. But I agree with Paul Boutin that most tend to be a little disappointing.
The drone event was Matt Davignon's Droneshift, now in its 5th or 6th year, I think. There are some videos on youtube; just search for Droneshift. This year Matt had something like 45 improvisers each play for 30 minutes within a 3-hour period. It's my first time, and I have to say I enjoyed it more than I expected.
I only did sound; I offered video but Matt didn't want it for this edition. My setup was probably not the best for the space though. My sound palate was a bit subtle for a big boom-y room. I was also using live camera input to drive the sound, but only tested it under rather different lighting conditions. I could kind of work with the unwieldly mess, but it'll be better "next time", haha.
And Brian Evenson's Contagion is back in print with a tasteful new cover, yay.
Bill
postitbreakup- awesome story! really thought it was cute, charming, and all-around a winner!! Would love to see it fleshed out even more and longer 🙂
dennis- hey! how's everything been?? was nyc tasty at all??
Oh man so it's finals week!!!! Crazyness ensues! I've got 3 tests so wish me luck on those 🙂
Things are going pretty well over here in Tally… I think me and luke might be heading to Savannah, GA for a quick little vacation on friday and then i'm heading up to Virginia for my b-day (21st) / X-mas with my grandparents and mom (even though i'm jewish!)
I'm also hoping to get up to NYC at some point to maybe see if i can meetup with Scott T. since he'll be there. It'd be so super cool to finally meet him… I'm really anxious about both the new kiddiepunk zine and the book he's releasing with paul on my birthday! Cool gifts for me <3
I've been following the comments a bit and I keep seeing Possession being brought up! You need to see it!!! 🙂
Should be done with the zine soon (i feel like such a dummy for having thought it would have been done at the beginning of november!) and am hoping to have it printed up by the 2nd week of november…
Luke's starting to apply for grad schools for the MFA in Creative Writing.. I think he's applying to Notre Dame, Brooklyn College, Otis (LA), and Antioch (LA)…. Sound good?? 🙂
Luke's still hard at work for the never-ending story piece for the blog,,, should have it done relatively soon i think!
But yeah, just wanted to pop in and especially offer congrats to postitbreakup for a job well done 🙂
Hope all is well!!
xxfrank
By the way, the cover of Frisk worked really well at the concert for the software setup I built. When I pan over the reddish part, there'd be this low rumbling; panning over the bluish title blocks usually generates these shrieking overtones.
Bill