Month: November 2019 (Page 1 of 9)

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Stomponmyhead, 23
just your average 23 year old useless piece of shit working a bullshit job not saving money and spending it on smokes and beer. Slowly waiting to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. Still living with my parents. Whats the point of living on anymore? I was a kid then a teen then an adult for technically 2 years. Life is over. Why am I waiting. What am I waiting for?

Comments

Buzzedbehr1 – Nov 21, 2019
I’m a Hair Cutter. I would really love to cut your hair, as short as possible, before you shuffle off. A mohawk or a horseshoe flat or ideally a shaved head.

Urfucked – Nov 19, 2019
I’m a genuine SCALLY I got airmax 95, tn’s, airmax 270, Adidas torsion
I got balaclava and full Nike and Adidas tracksuits.

I do the following situations:
*arranged robbery
*arranged House invasion (fatal or no)
*arranged attack on walk home (fatal or no)
*arranged sex attack (fatal or no)
*arranged assassination

All the above are are very real but the whole thing is pre arranged and I will require an email giving me permission as u know what old bill are like. And I ain’t getting stitched up

Anyway ima go bun a zoot
And look forward to hearing from u fucker

Lesterlonely1 – Nov 17, 2019
I hold on tightly to the hope that this blessing will be bestowed upon you.

Anonymous – Nov 17, 2019
I’ve known this guy for a long time, and he has wanted to die for an even longer time. There’s only so many hundreds of times you can try to talk him out of it. Send him a message and let’s make this happen!

 

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FeeditBodyHair, 19
If you shave your body hair off, cut it off, whatever… feed it to the pig.

 

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OutToPasture, 23
Why Hello There,
My name is “W”. Friends pronounce it Dubya. As I am makin it into my early 20’s I can’t help but be losing my lust for the party side of life and am reconnecting to my lust for self-destruction. I know I am rambling but I was really kinky in my teens and then subsided my cravings, my lust, my need for self-destruction… to fit in :'(…. Don’t feel bad for me ya’ll. Fitting in was fun. People are awesome. I must admit am VERY nervous about exploring my self-destructive side full on, so I sincerely apologize in advanced if I am apprehensive. I’m looking for a man that respects that I want to keep this fatalistic side of me 100% DL, meaning he will not take pics/vids of me, blackmail me, or do anything that makes the people in my life realise that the drastic changes he makes to my personality and looks are because I am being destroyed.

Comments

OutToPasture (Owner) – Nov 13, 2019
I am my Uncle’s nephew.

Anonymous – Nov 13, 2019
I’m his uncle. He’s for real.

 

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TomnotofFinland, 21
I’m really into veins

 

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bestlayever, 21
Hi, I hope you’re good. I’m a young, muscular, drone pilot and pianist.

Im kind of new to this. Boys and the other stuff too. But I wanted to find someone here just to see.

Since I was younger I love being naked. And would get a thril from undressing where I could be caught.

Recently the thoughts have become stronger and I wondered if this is a thing? And if this is the place to learn?

I’m really fit and kinda shreaded. And know girls find me cute. I don’t know about guys though. I guess. I hope.

Comments

bestlayever (Owner) – Nov 16, 2019
I look forward to your firm and sadistic hands molding me.

ReallyYoungSchoolboy – Nov 16, 2019
Hi, you hot stud, I’m Really Young School Boy and I want to push you to the limit, not for the faint of heart !!!!

For you I give the full program that means I torture you to your limits with my violent games and sex toys and the whole thing is broadcast live on my Cam4 profile.

bestlayever (Owner) – Nov 10, 2019
Thank you, but I would prefer not going overboard if at all possible.

squatmann – Nov 10, 2019
i like squeezing the head of a fit guy (this can have a range of pressure levels according to my perception).
i would also like to stand on your head and stomp if you can handle it.
if we ended up with an ongoing thing with you then you would accept your mind becoming mush.

 

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AgeProgressionFetish, 20
Envy older guys especially 73-84.
Fantasise about becoming one.
Lose skin tone -plenty of facial lines and well-creased neck, nips less pert.
Lose hair/ go grey.
Waist thick and flabby.
Deeper voice.
Low hanging balls.

 

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AsianWildBaby, 20
What is a little boy?
….. me!

I’m a Young Adult Baby/Diaper Lover. 🙂 it’s epic, don’t judge it!

As an adult I’m a professional code writer with lots of skills!

My name is Wan, I am a little. My real age is 20 but my little age is an immature 2 year old. Young enough to need a lot of help but old enough to be mischievous and make some very bad descisions my self.

Surely there’s a dad out there who wants a little Asian diapered son? I dare you!

//If you can read this code
//I will use your tongue as my pacifier

var your_drink;
var reverse=function(s){
return s.split(“”).reverse(),join(“”);
}
var barista = {
str1: “ess”,
str2: reverse (“ipe”),
str3: “cn”,
request: function(preference){
return preference+”Secret word:”
+this.str2+this.str3+this.str1;
}
};
barista.request (your_drink);

Comments

dontwastemytime1 – Oct 27, 2019
I put up with his irksome cutie baby bullshit for as long as I could then fed him sleeping pills and NyQuil and fucked and choked him until he fell asleep then fucked him long after and sucked his mouth dry and filled his motionless butt with loads. And still my boner stay hard.

 

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WHITEDEVIL, 19
I am here for the sole purpose of turning you on with a detailed excerpt of how I find thick, gross, mucus-filled coughs delicious. Something about that sort of cough that reverberates deep within your throat and takes mucus with it- fills my hungriness up to the brim. The kind of cough that rattles your internal organs and leaves you with a slight wheeze. Yeah, that’s the one, more than a simple common cold symptom. Hello! I’m Darren. To tell you a bit about the dumb-ass that is me, I’m pretty darn short, like 4’11 and 1/2″ short. That turn you on quicker than my strange cough monologue? If not go find someone else to hock your loogies into.

Comments

bijou – Nov 14, 2019
Waiting …

lil_suffer – Nov 14, 2019
Not saying I don’t feel the same. Fuck this is intense!

lil_suffer – Nov 14, 2019
I just want a man to get all down in my mouth like I described.

bijou – Nov 14, 2019
So, here I am, a straight man my whole life. And the older I’ve gotten, the more these gay cravings for you have gotten louder in my head.

lil_suffer – Nov 14, 2019
Christ you are.

bjiou – Nov 14, 2019
Yes.
I am in the livingroom.

lil_suffer – Nov 14, 2019
For real.

bjiou – Nov 14, 2019
I am your father.
I like young guys.

 

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iSatan, 19
I’m all into scariness. Me being scared that is…I wanna be scared shitless and then go from there without ending up dead.

Comments

iSatan – Oct 26, 2019
Wow!!!

HypnoTransformer – Oct 26, 2019
Have you ever truly tested whether your body could change through hypnosis? If you’re willing to let a mad scientist run experiments with you as my test subject, I want you to be transformed into a hairy beast. I want thick hair down your back, around your shoulders, on your knuckles and toes. I’d like to test out other physiological transformations too, like deepening your voice, darkening your skin, and giving you enlarged muscularity. If it works, I have a huge humiliation fetish so I would make fun of you as the big sub-human knuckle-dragging freak I’ve changed me into. It would be hot to parade you around seedy gay bars on a chain, mouth muzzled, walking on all fours, and charge patrons to whip you. Like a sexy freakshow exhibit. Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself.

iSatan – Oct 23, 2019
Wow!

dominator_hot – Oct 23, 2019
I’d put you in rubber, bind you, bag your head, pull it tight and wait until you stop moving.

iSatan – Oct 23, 2019
Many people write to me, so I will only give priority to those who are really violent and able to get me screaming right away.

 

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JY, 21
Got practically killed by a psycho top 5 weeks ago. It was consensual if you care. Living with this damage and the meds and headaches depresses the shit out of me but I’m back. Done with this random shit. If you really want me, you’ll take me anyway and forever or not at all.

Comments

JY (Owner) – Nov 21, 2019
Hey Marco. Heavy heavy drugs. Top wanted to eat my brain and I wanted him to. Stupid and ugly as that. Sober now, thought that’d change things, but I’m still me.

youreapieceofshit – Nov 20, 2019
xhrist, j, it’s marco, youve always been a gloriously heavy bottom but…wtf happened?!?!

 

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lil_suffer, 21
I believe that doing extremes can lead people to the edge of their psyche, which is a territory most people do not explore or cannot handle. Only through this dark night of suffering can people really learn about themselves in my opinion. A quote by Sigmund Freud sums this thought up nicely: “No one, who like me, conjures up the most evil of those half-tamed demons that inhabit the human beast, and seeks to wrestle with them, can expect to come through the struggle unscathed.” I cost 4€ hour, 17€ overnight.

Comments

lil_suffer (Owner) – Nov 21, 2019
I hate other bottoms

lil_suffer (Owner) – Nov 5, 2019
was recently castrated as part of a ritual and am the better for it.

Magus – Oct 3, 2019
Asset-rich, income-poor skinny boy with a Goth outlay collects rare occult books and into shamanic and Ficinian fetishism in a relationship with some cult leader guy but outsources sex preceded lengthily by tarot reading, a few rituals, chanting, a sermon, etc. before he gets his butt out.

 

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ImFreeForYouRightNow, 21
suffocation addict
love being handgagged until i pass out
bagged, strangled, head under water, hung with noose
smothered, no rules no safe word no anything
no sex until im unconscious
if you want to fist me add chloroform

Comments

Anonymous – Oct 19, 2019
I screwed up. I’m sorry!

heyitsnic – Sept 16, 2019
He loves it when you call him Señorita.

 

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seriouslywantit, 24
I am in the US Army on active duty in El Paso Tx. I am currently looking to possibly find someone that I can trust to kill me but not hurt me because they don’t know what they are doing. I can’t host it due to living in the Military Barack. No lies, we ALL KNOW WHY I AM HERE.

Comments

DaniBenz – Nov 13, 2019
Honestbutcher, are you done writing crap about people you don’t even know? You’ve become a joke now

Honestbutcher – Nov 10, 2019
Not particularly ..

Anonymous – Nov 10, 2019
taste good ?

seriouslywantit (Owner) – Nov 10, 2019
Since when?

Honestbutcher – Nov 10, 2019
Took his meat tied it up, shaved it, cooked it for dinner ..

Anonymous – Nov 7, 2019
want you to let me over and just let me do whatever the fuck I want

Hint: it includes something red and warm

seriouslywantit (Owner) – Nov 5, 2019
Take it private.

Honestbutcher – Nov 5, 2019
Honest butcher to have your meat get done ..

 

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nicest_asshole_ever_, 18
Im better than the rest. You can expect everything from me. Tell me how you like and you will always get it. What ever happens use lots of lube.

Comments

nicest_asshole_ever_ (Owner) – Nov 27, 2019
Pig noises during sex turns me off.

kfbb – Nov 24, 2019
LOVED to see warm, gooey, strands of my SEED OOZING OUT of his hot, hungry HOLE! It gliding seamlessly down his small, perfectly circular balls into a puddle on the bed!!

SOULNEEDSBODY – No 19, 2019
He has a hot clean smooth hot hungry tight bare cunt to Breed hard and god, so deep. Also if you’re a toilet he’s a vegan and his shit is nuts!

billyen13 – Nov 16, 2019
beautiful buttocks to spread and trip and fall and die inside.

CrossRunner – Nov 10, 2019
I thought these reviewers were fake or insane. But they’re not! Best ass ever? I’d bet money on that!

lifesaparty – Nov 9, 2019
me & him. last night. eatin my 2nd load outta his hole. jealous much?

boyjunkie – Nov 3, 2019
He loved my dick penetrating his beautiful ass in every different positions by moaning every bang. He made me cum like I never came before. I thought I exploded.

ormiston – Nov 1, 2019
An absolutely great hole and was totally horny kneading his cute butt cheeks like a lumps of dough I could not take my cock out of him.

EDEGE – Oct 26, 2019
basically a cute grindr non-kink slut boy cruising the margins to get a wider range of cock but if you can settle for ass access he is beautiful to fuck

Anonymous – Oct 22, 2019
his username is not a joke. he’s just a fairly cute, thin twink who got very lucky in his hindquarters. but the thing itself is hot clean deep inexhaustible. i love it. 👍🏼👍🏼

 

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Burn_Me, 18
I want to suck some old man cock cut or uncut tiny or enormous.
I’m ready to swallow old man cum.

I’m currently on lexapro and into Gaspar Noe films.

Comments

Anonymous – Nov 16, 2019
Hello, tell me if you’ve already met Burn_Me. I am one of his girlfriends and bi, so I don’t ask out of jealousy, I just want to know the truth.

 

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SnuffBoy, 24
Know what I’ve wanted since I became sexually active at age 12 but so far I have only served as a submissive maso faggot for Alpha’s.

Now looking to take things all the way to the source of what I’ve wanted since my cock first spurted.

I need a sadistic alpha, twisted, violent, dangerous male for my no return TPE.

I am happy to travel for the man who can guarantee he wants it bad enough.

This needs to start 21st-27th October. Trust me, it does.

No limits sex, abuse, violence, and how the snuff happens is your choice, I just want you to be happy. Use and destroy me as you see fit and then do what you need to do.

I have wanted this since I was 12 years old.

Comments

SnuffBoy (Owner) – Nov 25, 2019
Nude pics cost £20 a pop if you want them that bad.

SnuffBoy (Owner) – Nov 23, 2019
Nothing about me’s interesting.

SnuffBoy (Owner) – Nov 21, 2019
I might be, what of it?

Londonash25 – Nov 21, 2019
are you a porn star?

ohgosh – Nov 19, 2019
If u want to eat my cock wile I eat ur ass before u die msg me

SnuffBoy (Owner) – Nov 18, 2019
I think some people are a little too lost in the fantasy on here, so I prefer to talk to people to treat me like a regular person who just wants to die.

myxiaoxiaoxiao – Nov 17, 2019
looking for a dog slave who can fight with other dog slave just like dogfight
here some rules are:1.now train naked and send your training show for your owner everyweek; 2.i will find other slavedog to fight with you，you should keep aggressive and obey your owner whatever you fight in naked; 3.get rid of shame，slave fighting in naked is glory and shame of losing the match which the owner arrange you; 4. when you losing the matches，i will kill the dog ，you;5. cant shoot and have sex without my allowance; 6. learn to be a real dog and how to fight as a dog，for example，dont allow to stand，and stare at its fight and bark to other dog powerful and aggressive，take your compete fightdog down，only hard dick can attack dick，until one dog give up the fight，the winner dog kill the losing dog and bark for victory.when you win，you can shoot as a reward; 7. although naked，but you should keep more aggressive，every attack should be more powerful and let the competer know he is weaker than a slave and shame of losing.

 

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LookingforGod, 21
I am civilised and I have reached a stage of life where I would like to meet a real sadist to damage me. And with the right guy I’d consider having no safe words to make it more exciting. Wow so I’m really here doing this.

Comments

LookingforGod (Owner) – Nov 9, 2019
I found an American owner and have been moved to Palm Springs!!! I finally took my first fist this week. Bareback and cum play also turn out to be major turn ons for me. Almost no limits now, I used to say “blood and scat”. Now it’s just scat. I don’t consider myself a Pup, but I’m told I make dog noises in bed, if I’m getting it good. Best part, I drive a truck to work.

LookingforGod (Owner) – Oct 30, 2019
I have tentatively agreed to permanent ownership by a master in Europe. He will relocate me in 8 days from now. But I am hoping someone closer by might step in and take ownership of me before then. I am willing to do whatever you say. At any time. I am living with a distant relative now so no coming over. Other than that I just want to serve you, please. Like seriously, PLEASE. I don’t want to go to Europe, I’m scared.

LookingforGod (Owner) – Oct 24, 2019
🖕 MAGA! 🇺🇸

Caboose – Oct 24, 2019
Somebody please fuck this cis shithead up.

LookingforGod (Owner) – Oct 23, 2019
I am extremely patriotic – don’t message me if you hate the USA.

YouNeedAbusiveBoyfriend – Oct 21, 2019
He has a sick mind (albeit not the sickest) and a big heart and a goofy dorky nerd side to him. If someone could tap into all 3 and help him find inner harmony amongst those fractured variables he would be the best thing on the planet!

 

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nowineedsex19, 19
G’day! I’m a young fledgling from Down Under. Only recently have my eyes been opened to the darkness, though I have lived in shadows most of my life. I met and fell in love with a sadist who has unleashed a new side of me that I never knew, and I have never felt so ALIVE. I am very educated, you will never be ashamed to be with me.

Comments

HawtDogHallway – Nov 19, 2019
I am looking to make a film with you. Scenes that i would like to film with you are bb fuckin, creampies, jizzin shitloads, fun on soft, wrinkly leather sofas, outdoor scenes, and you smashing up and trashing abandoned, scrap cars and wud.

Anonymous – Nov 11, 2019
No, I don’t have any pictures.
Yes, you will give me every picture ever taken of you.
You will never see me.
I will know everything about every molecule of you.
If you do not obey me one billion percent, everyone will know everything about you. Yes, even them.

 

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4executionerxx, 20
I can hardly breathe

 

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UtterTrash, 22
i come back here from time to time when i feel at my most sick, this is your time to get a chance to own me

i don’t have a preference in guys except older and hornier than me

destroy my life or something else

especially craving to be rapefucked and destroyed by MASTER ADAM

i was heavily wounded by a man a few years ago but luckily I live in canada

that said i still have a unbending desire for destruction even with how fragile I have become

i have no redeemable qualities

Comments

Anonymous – Nov 13, 2019
It’s not just you.

Anonymous – Nov 13, 2019
Maybe it’s just me but i found very hard not to snuff this one.

jockstrappig34 – Nov 3, 2019
Adam, knowing what you’re into, I think you might want to make an exception for this one, HINT HINT.

MASTER_ADAM – Nov 2, 2019
Sorry I find you absolutely unerotic.

 

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kissthispussy, 19
I am a VERY girly femboy. I have spent the last year working on my femmy look, demeanor, and valley gurl voice. I am barely a boy anymore and I am desperate to escape him.

Very girly features and snobby attitude ripe to suffer constant abuse. Long sexy legs with a wide bubble butt hungry for devastation. Slim dainty frame with pale white skin that is begging for bruises.

I am mostly looking to meet an EVIL, NO LIMITS, DESTRUCTIVE, NO MORALS daddy who wants to destroy me in VERY brutal videotaped gangbang scenes. I have always fantasized that I would be the star of a series of videos, maybe 12, and that my debut porn would be called “Destruction of the Virgin Boy Bride!” and the last one would be “Death of the Used Up Boy Garbage!” Can you stomach it?

BTW I love all the nice comments but I honestly prefer to be treated like the worthless whore I am. Brutality makes me melt!

Comments

kissthispussy (Owner) – Nov 15, 2019
Mariah Carey is my spirit guide.

ArianaGrandeNO1Stan – Nov 15, 2019
What can I say? I just love Ariana Grande

 

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Sphinx, 18
Name: Daniel Jones

Goal: As a pledge Daniel must be humiliated and used sexually in the gayest way possible. Humiliate and sodomize and torture him and make him realize how he isn’t as straight as he thinks.

We the frat guys have access to his phone and will cruise guys that we think will sexually humiliate him better than we can.

– written by head frat brothers at UCLA: Carl and Matt

Ways to contact the frat brothers:

Email:
fratpledge@gmail.com

p.s. Daniel says, “I’m a guy which everyone will like me,and I’m sure that can satisfy with my fucking hot body.”

 

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YoungandDelicious, 18
I love shocking, full night sex a lot I can live without him.
I can be convinced that what you want is hot no matter what it is so don’t hold back.
I am what you were.
Buy me a drink.

Comments

put96 – Nov 16, 2019
I need to f**k u!
I would like to repeat myself constantly!
U want 💰?
I own one condominium at Sathorn which is 15Million. When u go there, u gonna see.

Joey_the_good_boy – Nov 13, 2019
Poppers on rag or use a black rubber anaesthetic mask. Sucking. Hand and cloth knot gags. Camel Filters. DT100 Headphones to suck in rhythm. Microphone sound orgasm recording.

daddyBOYezra – Nov 5, 2019
Hippy, artist, gypsy, Jew, jester, lover, hermit, seer, magician, greenman, father, faerie…these are some facets of the kaleidoscope of my soul…my history…my future. As i live into the ‘winter of my life’ i am becoming more simple…i am flesh and i need to touch the shimmering magenta membranes of a young man’s anal cavity…yours…my scrumptious boy…to feel alive…

 

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GenderFreeProperty, 19
It has a slave’s heart in a small, male body for now, but it has no gender. It is striving to eliminate the remnants of its failed, technically masculine birth characteristics, in favor of a new, neutral matrix, focused solely on what bodily configurations will please a Man most. If owned on a lifetime basis, its Owner would be able to dictate any/all body modifications to create something totally new in nature, designed and customized to please him.

Comments

RMIUCSSSKKKYYY – Nov 21, 2019
looking for 🐂
I’m 👨‍🌾
I know its a long shot.. I live in Duncan, Oklahoma

 

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godisabottom, 20
I had an account here for a long time when i was a very young teenager lying about my age who had a hard time connecting to people around me at school and in my neighbourhood which eventually led me here so long ago it brings back so many memories of the men i met the masters i fell in love with on this website so long ago i am returning for a final sweet cheers because soon i will be married and part of my teen years will forever be behind me once i am gone from here

i felt i needed to be here once more because of how much i learned about myself and sex and love from all the time i spent here the world hurt me alot when i was away from this place and like anyone else i made mistakes

i found new loves here from writing dear john letters and planning for the future only for 6 months later to be casted aside for another slave without a second thought after i thought we would be together forever its funny how young love feels like that

then i found another master but after he knew my real age i would hear from him less and less and over time i decided once more to leave again after a bad experience on here long story XD but basically a man came on super strongly

my heart searched again finding another master who i was with for a half year that i met on here until he to decided to fade from my life after i came clean about my age and i haven’t heard from him in 5 months i’ll always remember him because of the impact he had on me and gave me hope so i returned for the end the curtain call so to speak ill miss you all

and this is my final appreciation to all of you because in some way you helped me move forward in my life after feeling so low for so long. and i hope each of you is living a sexy life to the fullest after all this time

 

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BucketList, 22
🚬🚬🚬🚬👅👅👅👅🥛🥛🥛🥛🍯🍯🍯🍯🛌🛌🛌🛌🥛🥛🥛🥛💵💵💵💵👅👅👅👅🍯🍯🍯🍯🛌🛌🛌🛌🥛🥛🥛🥛💵💵💵💵🚬🚬🚬🚬👅👅👅👅🍯🍯🍯🍯🛌🛌🛌🛌🥛🥛🥛🥛💵💵💵💵🚬🚬🚬🚬👅👅👅👅🍯🍯🍯🍯🥛🥛🥛🥛🛌🛌🛌🛌💵💵💵💵👅👅👅👅🍯🍯🍯🍯🥛🥛🥛🥛🛌🛌🛌🛌💵💵💵💵👅👅👅👅🍯🍯🍯🍯🥛🥛🥛🥛🛌🛌🛌🛌💵💵💵💵🚬🚬🚬🚬👅👅👅👅🍯🍯🍯🍯🥛🥛🥛🥛🛌🛌🛌🛌🚬🚬👅👅🍯🍯🥛🥛🛌🛌💵💵

 

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tinaslutboy, 24
Waiting nude, only with sneakers, in a cabine of
A public toilet.. waiting for the next to give me a Shot of T and breeded of my cumhungry hole .. use as a garbage can with AIDS and diseases .. never knowing what it will be… that makes me tick .. 😬

Comments

tinaslutboy (Owner) – Nov 9, 2019
No longer sure what i am..

Sparky – Nov 9, 2019
Hi remember me? I used to fuck you regularly at the F.I.R.E. club until it closed due to high rent and insurance. Miss that shit! Now i and my WONDERFUL slave , babyjay live in the closest to paradise in the continental US, Fort Lauderdale, Fl.
This message ain’t so much looking for sex , but for cummunication ( no i purposely spelled it that way). After a major heart attack and now a member of the zipper club, i am back in action and would love chatting about the good ol days with my favorite old FUCK!

tinaslutboy (Owner) – Oct 18, 2019
Okey Sir just slam me constantly .. only need i have is that i be kept medicated..

REjectNJ – Oct 18, 2019
Mainly looking for a piece of meat to pozbreed and beat down a couple times here and there. I prefer quantity over quality, so a pathetic, careless guy that gets passed around like a piece of trash like you is perfect for me.

 

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FFagnificent, 21
I’ll try and explain why and what I’m looking for. Relatively normal young guy who ‘s life has started to fall apart. My life consists of watching all the Underworld movies and going on night walks with some kind of death metal going through my headphones. Depressed, unhappy but I’m brought alive gain by thoughts of me being basically lowered even lower than an animal. This is not a wank dream but a deep need in hope I might find one or more perverted MASTERS who have a dungeon facility and take me on full time for ever. Anyone know how to put in a catheter?

Comments

FFagnificent (Owner) – Nov 17, 2019
Why do most of the guys on this site look like this dude

TabooFreak – Nov 14, 2019
I am a complete freak that just wants to torture you, have your ass ruined, your nipples destroyed, keep you hooded 24/7, tattoo and brand every inch of your body, starve you, stretch your ass to take two fists elbow deep, whip and cane your body, cattle prod your balls, etc to the fullest. My fantasy has always been about torturing and destroying boys ever since I was a preteen. I have thought of nothing else. I know this is screwed up but I am tired of being afraid of arrest and prison. Let’s talk, ask me anything you want and then be mine.

FFagnificent (Owner) – Nov 11, 2019
My only real turn offs are being told I am cute, sexy or hot. I’m trained and conditioned to flourish sexually in a state of worthlessness and I can’t seem to change that.

 

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Come_Fly_with_me, 21
Hi I am Luca and 21 years young. Exchange student from the Netherlands. I just registered because I want to poz become. I have to let me pozzen, but feel that I am not ready yet. Where are the POZ guys in toon. Invite me to roulette. I seek objective exchange.

Comments

Come_Fly_with_me (Owner) – Nov 10, 2019
Ok I am POZ now so recalibrating my expectations: I will think and get back to you.

breederZH – Nov 6, 2019
Here is what you need to know: I am a gentleman with a very twisted & dirty mind. I spend most nights on my bike looking for boys to overpower, rape, and poz. I’ll give you my babies if you want them. I fuck hard, deep, long & shoot in multiples.

Follow my adventures here.: twitter.com/breederZH

Come_Fly_with_me (Owner) – Nov 3, 2019
I should probably add I’m married to a woman and going through some kind of issue.

Come_Fly_with_me (Owner) – Nov 3, 2019
I need impregnation urgently.

Jackdaw53 – Oct 29, 2019
I’m a serious GIFTER looking for a serious CHASER!
🦂🦂🦂 ☣☣☣
It’s all about SUBMISSION…to me…and my virus!
LET ME INFECT YOU WITH MY POZ LOVE!

 

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4SnuffMaster, 20
Can’t shake it, tried a few times. its cock cums only from the thought of offering it’s life to a Superior Man. its desire is directly connected to its desire to be killed. Please help it find completeness and purpose by allowing it to give everything to You SIRS. Please let it die for You and Your cock. Sane, just uncontrollable desire to sacrifice itself via the ultimate TPE. More pics available to those who seriously will murder it. Pics will not be sent to those who simply say “I would, but…” it will make a very good looking corpse SIRS.

Comments

daddyfor – Sept 7, 2019
I’ll fuck you hard, harder, hardest until you love life.

mexicain – Sept 6, 2019
Same with meth heads. A hot young tweaker guy stroked out in my apartment about 2 years ago and within 1 hour I swear he’d lost 15 pounds and was as green as Frankenstein.

Anonymous – Sept 6, 2019
“it will make a very good looking corpse SIRS.” warning to any tempted fellow necros out there. roided up muscle boys like him leave corpses that tend to decompose very rapidly. he’d be discoloured and stiff as a board and stinking to high heaven after a couple of hours maximum.

 

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TranceJunkie, 20
Extremely Hypnotizable Straight Metalhead Seeks Adventure

I have experienced post-hypnotic suggestions from one listen of an mp3 file.
Have also experienced longterm amnesia from trance.

I am financially unstable and emotionally unavailable, I’ll probably be homeless someday.
My only endearing quality is not talking to anyone.

That’s what I’ve done.

 

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abracadabra, 21
I’m a boy that’s been livin as a girl for years now but my lack of self has catched up to me. I am willing to do almst anythg for approval. There is no me anymore. Only you. 90% submissive. 10% I fight. Could be 100%. You’re looking for someone with self-respect. lol. Get over it. take me whenever you’d like or just drop me off at a nassty party or backroom and let the others take me. no means yes, screams mean yes, silence also means yes. Go to your dark side and rape and tortur me until I cant be ID ed anymore, then do what you think is unimaginable. That’s the girl I am.

Comments

abracadabra (Owner) _ Oct 25, 2019
If you’re the insane guy with the jersey basement HMU again.

Anonymous – Oct 24, 2019
tried to hook up with him but he was all bruised and swollen and beat to shit already so i bailed

beatingnolimits – Oct 20, 2019
This whore peice off fucking shit is mine for weekend.
INVITATIONS FOR WEEKEND REAL BASHING THIS FAGGOT in south Jersey, big house with big basement.
48 HOURS OF EXTREME VIOLENCE.
Strict Admission Rule. Only real extreme violent men. Real Bashing faggot. (Not vainillia anykind or people who become afraid with blood or broken bones).
More info available.

abracadabra (Owner) – Oct 19, 2019
Getting choked and cut with knives are my favorites, but I’m young.

abracadabra (Owner) – Oct 15, 2019
I have roommates who are always complaneing about my screams and yelling, so if I could find a host, that would be great but if you can’t host, my roommates will have to deal.

 

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Subbbbbottom, 19
One of the picture of me is my shitty filled ass about to be fisted empty, can anyone do that to me again and post videos and pics on snapchat

 

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Witter, 23
Not into anything start from now onwards.. been having sessions with some good and bad masters these year but end up still alone here. Yes I’m a very annoying slave, I text a lot because I was just hoping I could be their side and served them anytime if they need. However they thought I was demanding something from them. I did listen to their very deep inside story and swore to myself to serve them with all I can but maybe I’m not kind of slave who will jut sit quietly and wait for master instruction when they no need me, i hope at least to be pretend like friends with them outside the sex but it seems not possible for you heartless bastards.

 

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Thejust-dog, 19
🔥 Caution !!! This is my sex profile. I am hopelessly messed up. Who really wants to use me makes me ☠️ Thejust-dog ☠️ right finished! Only there are answers !!! Who does not let go and stubborn and nastiest gets me 🔥 I like shit, piss, puke, spit and blood. 🔥 I love 50 mens waiting in an room and want rape me in 24 hours. You have an gun or knife i do all for you. 🔥 If you don’t like my cock and balls it’s ok if you cut them off. 🔥✅ I stand on everything that goes in this direction !!!!!

Comments

TVproduction – Nov 23, 2019
I’m the assistant to a TV Producer working on a BBC documentary exploring sexuality in Canada in light of the Bruce McArthur case.

I’m 20, gay, very attractive and would like to speak with you about your experiences and views if you’re still alive. Get in touch here or email me at asher@wildforest.co.uk.

Thejust-dog – Oct 22, 2019
When you think I have taken enough rape and torture 🔥 I would (hate) love to be put in a stockage, and stabbed, sliced, shredded ☠️ ….. and I mean really carve all my meat and insides off my bones 🔥🔥🔥 – made to truly understand what you to NEED to cum ☠️

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** David Ehrenstein, Ah, yes, happy birthday a day late to the truly great Randy Newman, author/singer of my favorite song of all time! ** Sypha, Hi. It seems like Grant Morrison was your entrance to lots of things. Greeting card request? Oh, man, I don’t know. You always see to know how to hit my bullseye. Surprise me. Excited for it! ** Misanthrope, Hi, G. Hope the gym ship-shaped you. Whatever that entails. Wow, happy early birthday to your mom. She’s a toughy. Ace about the novel preoccupation. ‘Garden of Lights’: some sort of outdoors light show plus seasonal mixtape-like soundtrack of some sort, I suppose? There’s a ‘Krampus 2’? It must have gone straight to DVD? Huh. Any good? The first had its little charms. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hey. Your Cine Salon was a pretty series, man. Wow. Top to bottom. Oh, jeez, your election, so scary. Hard prayers that the polls are full of shit. ** liquoredgoat, Hi, buddy. Nice to see you! Oh yeah, ‘Sweet Movie’ is terrific. I think I did a post on Makavejev way back. I should restore it. You good? Happy holidays? ** Steve Erickson, I know ‘The Wolf House’ but haven’t seen it. I’ll see if it’s on MUBI International or not. I have no idea what the release situation is with ‘The Irishman’ here. I have seen posters now, so it’s imminent. Sure, the Fibonaccis. I saw them live a bunch times back when. Haven’t tried them in ages. All of my vinyl is in LA. Hopefully not too much Oingo Boingo — possibly my pick for all time worst band — in there. I’ll go hear something. Thanks! I hope you’re feeling better. ** Bill, Howdy. Poached pears! Is that a popular French dish? I’ll be on the look out. I love poached pears, oh, man. Pears are very underrated in general, if you ask me. Yum. Weekend loveliness of some variety, I hope? ** Okay. Yes, the month ends, and, yes, the slaves will see you out. And I, yes, will see you on Monday.

 

‘Christine Schutt’s characters tend to be (or be trying to be) at leisure: on holiday, in the garden, by the pool, at the beach, on a horse. Leisure seeks exclusivity; the you-at-leisure wants to be the only you there is, to rope off everything else (work, relationships, mortality). But reality fights back. Part of Schutt’s immense skill is to show her characters in the process of roping-off, whilst making present and felt that which gets left out. Perspectives are limited, but the world beyond their tight boundaries – an anarchic world of wildness and wild fires, of refuse and decay, of ‘gaudy mayhem’, as one character thinks of the ‘muted news [that] flickers on the flat screen’ in her ‘all-purpose islanded kitchen’ – is always present.

‘One result is that events don’t always register as they should. A hurrying description of Mimi’s husband’s death – ‘the ambulance, the body bag, the funeral home, the furnace’ – leads into a discussion of how much the swimming pool he died in might be worth. Later, as though passing through another story, Mimi mistakenly enters a stranger’s house and witnesses an horrific murder: a woman, Dora Wozack, is shot dead by her son. The narrative passes on without comment and when, later, Mimi tries to describe it, it is language, not event, that she gets hung up on: ‘“Dora Wozack said, ‘My son’s troubled,’ or maybe, ‘My son’s trouble.’ It could have been ‘in trouble.’”’ In ‘A Happy Rural Seat…’, a pattern of unregistered event (an unknown something killed in a drink-driving incident; an unanswered phone call; a disturbing news story switched off) culminates in the glancing half-revelation that Pie has been missing for a long time, presumed dead.

‘Disorientation is the collection’s guiding affect. Schutt’s characters are drunk, lost, amnesiac. The grieving poet muddles the seasons: ‘She thought it was summer still if not spring but the day’s evidence said it was fall. Again!’ After Pie’s disappearance, Nick often ‘found himself standing in front of open broom closets and cabinets, in front of the dishwasher and sinks. Sometimes his hands were wet.’ Homes become unheimliche: Mimi is surprised to find her house full of strangers before remembering that its contents are in the process of being auctioned off.

‘The stories themselves are disoriented. In ‘The Hedges’, a superficial, not-coping couple go on holiday with a sick child who falls off a balcony to his death. In telling us this story, Schutt’s narration seems to be always in the dark, playing catch-up, eavesdropping, struggling to read the signs: ‘Sometime in the night… a cry, followed by another, sounded on the hillside. It might have been a sound of pleasure or pained pleasure or something else; the cry was ambiguous.’ Even the sentences are disoriented; information falls in the wrong order, constructions don’t seem to end up where you expect them to.

‘Schutt’s prose is never less than striking. It has a quality of glancing exactness, as though simultaneously looking and not looking: a modern house is ‘shaped like slung plates’, a pair of nuns are ‘wimpled and sudden’. Occasionally, the prose is striking in its (artful) ugliness: a description of dusk in ‘The Hedges’ reflects the couple’s superficial engagement with the world: ‘By then, the sun had set, and the night sky’s show was blinking on quickly. A greater darkness amid the foliage squeaked notes, very pretty.’ Occasionally, it’s incomprehensible: Dora Wozack stands in her kitchen ‘yukking over a quilted jar of vodka’, whatever that means. But the opacity is important. Schutt writes with a coagulate figurative precision. Her prose is somehow crystal clear and opaque, like the thick surface of an oil painting that both figures a world and arrests your attention with its material texture. It looks at and it looks away from and it knows, in its disorientation, that the two are not always so easy to tell apart. To look at the world isn’t always to know it; to look away from it sometimes is.’ — David Isaacs, The White Review

 

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Further

Christine Schutt
Christine Schutt @ goodreads
A Conversation Between Christine Schutt and Diane Williams
Podcast: Christine Schutt on Bookworm
Correspondence with Christine Schutt
The Crass Class in Christine Schutt’s “Pure Hollywood”
Pure Hollywood – stories to take you out of your comfort zone
ISSUE 4 An Interview with Christine Schutt
Christine Schutt: Learning What You Do Well
Podcast: Between the Covers: Christine Schutt: Pure Hollywood
‘The Blood Jet’, by Christine Schutt
“Remembered Landscapes,” an Interview with Christine Schutt
‘The Dot Sisters’, by Christine Schutt
Uncomfortable Places
Glitz & Infidelity: On Christine Schutt’s ‘Pure Hollywood’
“something else, with it, in the sky”
the garden of earthly delights: christine schutt’s pure hollywood
Atmospheric Disturbances
Hanging Out With Christine Schutt
The Graduate
Matt Bell on Christine Schutt
Buy ‘Pure Hollywood’

 

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Extras

Christine Schutt’s First Time

Christine Schutt Fiction Craft Lecture

Christine Schutt: The Writers Studio Reading Series

 

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Interview

 

Michelle Y. Burke: One of the things I admire most about your writing is how it sounds. Your sentences are so rich and lyrical. To what extent are you thinking about sound when you’re writing?

Christine Schutt: I do think about sound. What I want to do is wed sound to scene. What comes first is a picture. I’m thinking of the way my new book, Prosperous Friends, begins. I had this idea that there would be a couple in their mid-thirties outside of London, maybe in the Fens, near a priory or a church. I was remembering my own experience at that age, being in those sorts of churches, and the stones, and the moss on the stones, and the coldness of it. I thought about that a lot, and I thought about what the couple was doing. They’re alone. He wants to surprise her and be sexually risky. I wanted to get a sound that would call up or be right for those stones and that place.

Burke: Is that how you start a new novel or story—an image catches your attention and you find the sound from there?

Schutt: Sometimes there’s an image, yes, and the language comes so fast on it. I look at something for a long time and roll over words right to the occasion.

Burke: Is that also true when you’re creating a character? Does the character come from an imagined scene or image?

Schutt: When I was creating one of the characters in Prosperous Friends, I looked at a postcard picture of Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I bought it at the National Portrait Gallery. Then there was this quality my younger son had when his hair was long, and then there was someone I was making up: a handsome young man with a side-part. I liked this character so well I gave him some success.

Burke: Your story collections are like catalogues of compelling first sentences. The first sentence of “Teachers” in Nightwork—“She told her daughter as she might a love such things her lover said were best kept secret from a girl”—does amazing work at the syntactical level. What do you expect from a good first sentence, and how do you move forward from there?

Schutt: When I was an MFA student at Columbia, I was in class with people who even then were able to tell a story. I could not. What I could do, and what I was praised for doing, was write a great sentence. It was my only pride. When I tried to write a story, I thought what I was good at had to be put aside in favor of advancing the narrative. I would have a nice, rich opening, and then suddenly, I’d think about how I had to move the character across the room. The character had to say something, do something. Dreaded dialogue. I still have to work hard on it. Now I often take out every other line of dialogue. Then it actually sounds like human speech. Then you get something interesting.

Any success I had early on had to do with the fact that people would say, “Wow, you can really write a sentence.” Gordon Lish taught me how to use what I was good at to tell a story.

Burke: Has your writing changed on the sentence level?

Schutt: Yes. I’m not packing every sentence anymore. I’m not indulging that tendency as much. When I was writing Nightwork, I loaded the sentences because I could; I hyphenated a lot to make adjectives, very self-indulgent. I did that to a lesser degree in the second collection of stories, Day and Night. I have been looking for other sources of interest, along with interest in language and finding different ways of getting drama. So, yes, Prosperous Friends is different. I mean, there are descriptions of houses and barns I am proud of. I love dying barns. I love to look at them, but the characters and their movement take precedence; the exchanges between characters are sharper.

I was very confident about Prosperous Friends for a long time. I went around bragging about it, saying this is it, this is the best thing I’ve done. I surprised myself by saying such things. I’m a little superstitious. I thought I should stop bragging. The first time I turned it in, my agent said the novel was too difficult, too elliptical. Who are these people? How old are they? Where are they? The kinds of questions I’ve always been asked.

Then I had a younger reader weigh in on the sexual dysfunctions the book explores. She said, no, these kinds of dysfunctions don’t exist anymore. They’ve gone away. I was devastated when she said that. I thought, my god, they’ve really advanced, but I decided to keep all of the sexual dysfunction in, because they can’t be all cleared up, right? Not for everyone. It really threw me for a loop. Here I was writing about people in their late 30s and 40s, and I suddenly thought that perhaps I really missed the boat. Perhaps young people today are entirely liberated, at ease with their sexuality, and women are having orgasms left and right. In the end, I decided that can’t be the case, but it really caused me to have a crisis of confidence. A real crisis.

I wrote a new beginning to the book at one point. It was very clunky, but it came very easily, and I thought, all right, maybe this is the way to go, but I ended up throwing it out. When I came back from teaching in California, I got rid of it. But I inserted other things, clarifying things, and the book is finished, but I have not felt that initial certainty of its worth.

Burke: Do you think of your work as challenging? Difficult?

Schutt: No, I don’t. I haven’t. That’s why it unsettled me to have what I’d thought was finished returned with questions. My agent said all of the things that people said when I was doing my MFA: The writing is great, but where are we? How old are these characters? In the last draft of Prosperous Friends I changed the chapter titles to place names and the year.

Overall, I don’t think my work is difficult. I don’t write jolly stories, so maybe that’s hard for some readers.

 

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Book

Christine Schutt Pure Hollywood
Grove Press

‘In one eponymous novella and ten stories, Pure Hollywood brings us into private worlds of corrupt familial love, intimacy, longing, and danger. From an alcoholic widowed actress living in desert seclusion to a young mother whose rejection of her child has terrible consequences, from a newlywed couple who ignore the violent warnings of a painter burned by love to an eerie portrait of erotic obsession, each story is an imagistic snapshot of what it means to live and learn, love and hurt.

‘With Pure Hollywood Christine Schutt gives us sharply suspenseful and masterfully dark interior portraits of ordinary lives, infused with her signature observation and surprise. Timeless, incisive, and precise, these tales are a rush of blood to the head, portals through which we open our eyes and see the world anew.’ — Grove Press

 

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Excerpt

Oh, the Obvious

Mrs Pall-Meyer, short-waisted, stooped, breasts shrunk to teardrops, Mrs Pall-Meyer was a dirty old woman, no matter she was rich. What good had money done her? She was traveling alone. They were both, Arden Fawn and Mrs Pall-Meyer, traveling alone, but Mrs Pall-Meyer had been at the ranch for over a month and would ride on long after Arden went home: Monday, next week, the first of April, home to an airbrushed county Arden once thought harmless.

Arden yanked at her reins and brought Doc into line while the old woman, Mrs Pall-Meyer, held back her horse and put even more space between them. Mrs Pall-Meyer was as friendless as Arden; no one would miss them.

They rode to the dried-out creek bed that devolved to a trail of ashy sand, charred wood, and trash not pictured in the ranch brochure – a strip of fender, a Pringles can – the rubbly blight of modern life, no green in sight but dust. At least for a time the sound of the horses was peaceable, but the hard floor of the desert came on with a clap. A wizened spring, the sickly prickly pear and organ pipe cacti were so riddled with holes they might have been targets. Even the paloverde trees looked leached. They rode along a level path, fording dried-out riverbeds of chalky stones – pale landscape, white sun. She put on her sunglasses and the view, honeyed, was not so hard on the spirit, but her back still hurt; it felt as if she were tightening a belt of barbed wire around her waist – God almighty, it hurt, and the ride had hardly begun. Arden rode apart not so much by choice as that it happened. Terrain had nothing to do with it. Her horse was slow and she was heavy.

Mrs Pall-Meyer, even farther behind, was a stick and rode as she liked. Now she went at a gentle pace and comfortable distance, for which Arden was grateful. In this way, far enough apart from all of the others, Arden could play on in her pioneering dream of self-sufficiency, even though her favorite part of the ride was when she was off the horse and walking to the ranch. Her legs felt used and wide apart then, and her walk was more a straddle.

‘Kick him!’ Mrs Pall-Meyer cried. The old woman threatened to pass. They had fallen too far behind.

Arden’s horse started to lope then lapsed into a rough trot stopped by the earthy rump of the dentist’s enormous horse.

‘Oh, hoh, my,’ Arden moaned. Knocked against the saddle horn, her pubic bone stung and she pressed her hand between her legs: she felt her own heat and heard Mrs Pall-Meyer spit. Mrs Pall-Meyer had paused, as had all the riders, at the incline.

‘How long have you been riding?’ Mrs Pall-Meyer asked.

‘Oh,’ Arden, said, shifting in the saddle, ‘all my life, but not a lot.’

Mrs Pall-Meyer, the name suggesting a hyphenated importance, merely snorted and rode ahead.

The trail turned narrower, rougher, stonier although the redheaded wrangler – Red, for his hair – might have been asleep, so little did the ride’s danger impress him. How many times had he led folks up this route?

‘Over five thousand acres gives a guy a lot of different ways to go,’ he answered. ‘You’d be surprised.’

Mrs Pall-Meyer said, ‘If I had something to ride on.’ In this way, she simply went on talking to herself, making tough, irritated pickax sounds with words like crap, drink, think. For all the advantages she must have had, Mrs Pall-Meyer was a coarse woman. She had made herself known in the morning, talking at the young Asbach boy, Ben, ‘My friends are dead. My sister is demented. I’m the last of my line, but I bet you’ve got a lot of friends.’ Oh, the nuisance of them all was what the old woman meant to say in her supercilious voice.

Arden had looked on at how Mrs Pall-Meyer befuddled the boy and made him blush. Ben Asbach of the Asbachs – ‘There are eight of us here,’ said the matriarch merrily. A granddaughter – slight as straw – called Mrs Asbach Nana.

What names, if any, had others at the ranch assigned her? – Arden, Arden Fawn. Was she the fat lady, the dull lady, the shy lady – hair color as uncertain as her age? Arden had a pretty face, of this much she was certain, which made it all the sadder, the weight. She hoped for her horse’s sake she would soon reach the summit.

There, Red said they could get off their horses and stretch their legs. But Arden had no intention of stretching her legs. If she got off her horse, she would never get on again. Besides, she could see just as well from on top of her horse, and her back wouldn’t hurt if Doc held still. The riding itself, walking, walking especially and however precariously, was easiest on her back. No loping, please! They rode up the mountain, slowly and close, and her thoughts were the same and body-centered until they all stopped at the summit. The sturdy banker loudly huffed off his horse and landed hard; his wife tiptoed lightly – all grace. And Arden?

‘You sure?’ Red asked, ready to help. ‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘No, I’ll stay on.’

So Red adjusted her saddle, pulled it more to his side, asked after Doc.

‘He’s a good boy,’ Arden said and wondered was Red a good boy or did he fuck sheep? Arden liked to appall herself with her own appalling thoughts. She liked a little fright in the middle of small exchanges – the selfmanufactured fright from thinking she was overheard. The dentist’s wife, who rode near and behind Red, asked him about the drought with an informed interest in its effects on the region’s wildlife.

Arden regarded the dentist’s wife, talking about water tables. Maybe in some states this was called flirting but the pity of it: a late-life romance as brief as a paper match, a piff of heat but no flame really, a glow quickly extinguished.

The dentist himself winked at Arden. ‘Not going to get off and stretch your legs?’ he asked.

‘Never. I couldn’t. How would I get on again?’ The dentist, smiling, said, ‘There’s lots of ways.’

The dentist was a small man darkly outlined by his specialty, a dentist for expensive and serious procedures to do with reconstruction – think of the bright pan with its sharp slender instruments – she did and was afraid of what this dentist would do inside her mouth. His jeans looked new and his shirt was very white, unwrinkled, snap-buttons, western. She watched him move to a higher point and a different perspective.

Oh, hell, strike the match of romance, who cares if it’s short? Why else had she come to the Double-D? Should she say the weather, the birdlife, the desert in bloom? No one had mentioned a drought. Scant birdlife this season, no color, but hovering just behind Arden was Mrs Pall-Meyer. Mrs Pall-Meyer, an imperious crone with a pointy face that jabbed, Mrs Pall-Meyer stood for something, but for what? Oh, the obvious, death or the future.

There, leaning against a rock and eating ranch granola was the little Asbach girl, rapt with her story’s unspooling. Her lips moved and she smiled to herself, frowned, pouted, then smiled again. Arden guessed she was ten or eleven, a cozy year, fifth grade, but what was her story about? What could she be saying?

Movement now. The others in the group were getting on their horses again. Only Mrs Pall-Meyer did not. She was protesting about her horse.

‘Want some help?’ Red asked.

‘What do you think?’ Mrs Pall-Meyer, with one foot in Red’s hands, said, ‘I hate having to ride a dull horse.’ She tipped a little trying to look at Red as she talked, unsteady, so that he lifted her until she swung her crooked body over the beast she dismissed as a plodder. She didn’t say thank you, just tocked in the saddle to make herself comfortable. It occurred to Arden that Mrs Pall-Meyer might be drunk.

Red took the lead and the party stayed together, the horses picked their way, butt-close, along a ledge. Steep, narrow, white, the ledge was dramatic and Arden held her breath. No one spoke; quiet but for the clocking noise of the horses, their gassy sighs and shivers. Stones popped and the trail noise sounded serious – just as in the cowboy movies: after the shoot-out comes the slow descent, hints of danger and exhaustion. The palomino stumbled and some of the ledge fell away.

‘We are going down, aren’t we?’ Arden asked, anxious.

Mrs Pall-Meyer snorted.

Okay, the question was stupid but the riding was more rocking from side to side than moving forward. Lean back had been the instruction for going downhill, and dutifully Arden did – had – even though the small of her back ached and she was afraid of her horse.

The old woman, suddenly seeming close, sneered, ‘He knows what he’s doing.’

‘I hope so.’

‘You’ve really no business on this ride.’

‘I don’t,’ Arden said. ‘I don’t know,’ she began but she didn’t want to turn around to address the old woman, riding last again. She was tearful enough as it was – her back ached – and to see Mrs Pall-Meyer’s disdain would surely make her cry. She said no more and the repetitive sound of striking hooves stupefied her and when she woke the trail had begun to level off to a more inviting path, soft, quiet, broad. She kicked Doc into a bumpy trot that didn’t last long though it put more space between her and Mrs Pall-Meyer, Mrs Pall-Meyer now far behind until Red shouted out: ‘ Mrs Pall-Meyer!’

Why did he?

But Mrs Pall-Meyer didn’t respond.

‘What can I . . .’ from Red, inconclusive, and so through fluff adrift they rode in a meditative quiet. The banker had spread his life around miles ago. And Red wasn’t much of a talker. Now the stables were in sight. There was the pasture where the ranch horses socialized; there, the barn, the tack room, the ring. The ranch, on a hill, Arden couldn’t see any part of, but the corral was miraculously close.

She barely heard Red say ‘Shit!’ before he jerked his horse around and rode full out to where Mrs PallMeyer was turned upside down. Her foot, twisted, was caught in the stirrup; most of her lay on the ground. Her horse stood still, unmoved by crisis. What sound was this that Mrs Pall-Meyer was making, but it was familiar.

A small truck, its trunk down, banged alongside the fence, stopped at the gate, and another wrangler from another direction came out to herd Arden’s group into the corral. The banker frisked home, and the dentist’s wife and the dentist followed. The Asbachs, grandmother and granddaughter, were already dismounting. ‘Don’t look,’ the grandmother was saying. Arden saw the fluid ten-year shape slide off her horse and canter on her own once her boots hit the ground. Turn away, little girl, turn away from the future, and she did.

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** David Ehrenstein, Hi. Well, as a fan of the markedly un-homoerotic, I’ll definitely check it out, ha ha. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, B. Ah, thank you for the backstory which has a nice combo of sweetness and nefariousness. ** Steve Erickson, Hey. Well, obviously you can ask the director about that absence, and no doubt he’ll be fully expecting to answer it. If you’re doing any kind of solo homemade Thanksgiving, may it reign. ** sleepyj, Ah, good. Or happy to know you’re also smitten with that stuff while quibbling with nostalgia. Have a good T-day if you’re doing it. ** Well, that was quick. For those in the US, the blog offers you a fine escape from the Thanksgiving festivities today in the form a book by the supreme prose writer/stylist Christine Schutt. And for those of you elsewhere and not on holiday today like me, same deal without the escapism. See you tomorrow.