The blog of author Dennis Cooper

19 kids review Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, Slamchow Slap Chop, Jordan Retro 3 Stealth Fire Red Light Grey Nike Air, Bearpaw boots, Super Power Lacrosse Head, Tech Deck Longboard, headset, Animusic HD, a pizza restaurant, Sunday in the Park with George, Andy Capp’s Hot Fries, I Am Legend, Coffee Connection, Little Live Pets, Furby, Vinegar Hot Sauce, lightsabers, US Highlight Cleats, Interstellar, Shrek, The American Dad


Crazy Kid Reviews Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2

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Shamwow Slap Chop Review

Tiim 2 years ago
You should join us in TeamSpeak, we’d love your intellectuality.

IBiteTheHandThatFed 3 years ago
Vince should beat you up…I mean you have blowjob lips …

TheFatty2497 4 years ago
Dude!
With all due respect. I am highly recommending that you use Youtube only for watching videos. Because you are the most innocent 13 year old I have ever seen and your videos honestly make me want to take my laptop throw it in a shower full of water mixed with crap, then take it and throw it outside my house onto a busy highway where cars will run it over for a 24 hour period and then take it and burn it with a liter until It’s chared. But enough of that.

Hqred 5 years ago
Slap chop your ass open.


Jordan Retro 3 Stealth Fire Red Light Grey Nike Air

davon jordan 1 year ago
Wat size are those

Tai Willow 2 years ago
dope little man!!!


Bearpaw boots review by Andrea

Juliette Buffa 5 months ago
She’s sooooo cute ???

Laira Georgevich 5 months ago
OMG she is so cute!!

Cici Rodrgz 1 year ago
very cute

Alex Gutierrez 2 years ago
cute


Super Power lacrosse head review

Teddy Locke 3 years ago
FLOWSIDON

pooop 3 years ago
nothin worng with worrying about your flow… bro lol

MrSHOWMETHEMONEY101 3 years ago
i care ubout my hair too

shoegeek100 3 years ago
I had nice flow I loved it so much but then u cut it for the summer.

MrJustinGraham 3 years ago
You have brutal flow


Kid Reviews Tech Deck Longboard

Connie Nelson 1 year ago
and good bye hahahahah


drunk kid reviews headset.

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Autism Kid- Reviews of Animusic HD

Andy Phan 4 months ago
Sorry, for the broken English, but my autism brother wanted to do a review of Animusic HD.


America’s Kid Restaurant Reviewer

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Iain reviews Sunday in the Park with George (Signature Theatre)

MrPoochsmooch 8 months ago
Thank GOD there is hope for the future!

profrabbit 8 months ago
This boy is off the chain smart. He could be a theater critic NOW – but I hope a better fate awaits him.

Jay Aubrey Jones 7 months ago
…and a child shall lead them.


Andy Capp’s Hot fries review

Tadzio5050 1 week ago
Andy is dumb yo


Kid reviews the movie “I Am Legend”

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Goth Kid Reviews- Coffee Connection, Rittman Ohio

TheHailey39 3 years ago
U seem nice I see you walking around alot =)

TheGothic Songbird 2 years ago
That is just…sad…
Coffee is pretty important to me (as is the Goth subculture) so to see a company that cannot serve good coffee, nor be kind towards alternative people..

Chestney Chiller 3 years ago
I find it ironic you said you “walked” up in town. There’s this strange thing that people say about goths is that they dont drive, i’ve never seen one drive because there are ZERO of goths where i live, aside from me and my 3 goth friends. but we drive cause we’re teens. So, do you drive? Do you walk all the time? is it true that some goths really dont drive? I’d love to know your opinion on this


Little Live Pets Bird in Cage and Furby. Technology Reports.

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Kid Reviews Vinegar Hot Sauce

Shawn Klemmer 1 year ago
Truthful about the sauce.

poppafish428 1 year ago
I love this guy!

silaska 1 year ago
One of my favorite sauces especially on fried catfish.


Kid reviews Lightsabers

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New UA highlight cleats review

Parker Ballard 2 years ago
Those cleats are going to look real nice on you……when you’re sitting the bench.

Alexander Hodge 2 years ago
this boy need to hit the gym and work on that bird chest. I also have the cleats. I posted a video

Charles Jourdan 2 years ago
IF you will sell them I will bye them for 160 $ I know that is more than they cost but it is worth it

Jeff Boadi 1 year ago
Is he ok?

jalen bernard 1 year ago
why do u have your shirt off…..

Justin Ashman 1 year ago
Thid dude is retarded


6 year old girl reviews Interstellar

fede mona 4 months ago
The scene with the giant waves scared me too!

MissObservation 4 months ago
Uh, I didn’t understand it very much. My dad is trying to explain time travel to me but it’s hard. We’re watching Back to the Future now. I like it much better.

iRazor8 2 months ago
He wasn’t in a library.He was trying to communicate with Murf through the fifth dimension in the black hole.
After that he somehow imagines that gravity is really just him the entire time and the black hole just…threw him in the apoapsis of Saturn.

ajax1099 5 months ago
Why did you take a little 6yrld girl to a pg-13 movie, you need to learn how to be a better parent

Hana M 3 months ago
The comments seem fake. I’m sure the father of the girl took this and edited the video, as well as posts these comments on here.


My Review of Shrek and The American Dad

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*

p.s. Hey. Today’s post coagulated due to a tip from kiddiepunk. ** Damien Ark, Coolness. ** David Ehrenstein, Hi. Complex, yeah, and quite the writer. Hm, I’ll read that piece you linked to asap, and I’ll try to remember to pass along my take. Thank you! Yay about ‘Out 1’ + Blu-Ray. ** Steevee, Hi. Hm, curious method on Stokoe’s part. It’s very hard for me to believe that there’s not a press in the US or UK that would publish his book. I suspect it’s an issue of him wanting more money than the presses that would be interested in publishing the book can afford to pay. Look forward to your review. Everyone, here’s Steve’s review of Ethan Hawke’s documentary film SEYMOUR: AN INTRODUCTION. ** Flit, Ah, shit, so much for my magical powers. Yikes, I’m chuffed and honored by your herculean efforts to decode this place. People dance here. I think dancing is pretty popular. I’ve seen people here dancing. It works when French people dance. You wouldn’t even know they were French  necessarily. Diggity. ** _Black_Acrylic, Last tour? Wow, lucky you. I would be interested to hear what he does in such monumental circumstances. All those intended life changes seem like a big thumbs-up situation and doable. I love driving. It’s a great skill to have. And it’s easier to finesse than you would think. ** John, Hey, man! Welcome back! Cool that you saw and liked the William Pope.L. Yeah, totally, I agree about the highlights. No, I didn’t get to see or even know about Parker Ito’s show at Chateau Shatto. Damn. I’ll google that, and I’ll tell my LA friends to make haste. How was your trip in general? Any other SoCal faves? ** Thomas Moronic, Hi, T-ster. Thank you so very much again. ** Kier, Ha ha, I feel like your den-things are really on a roll right now. Thank you! Deep bow. Oh, shit, I hope you got decent sleep last night and that your stomach is behaving. Ugh about the self-involved, withholding guy. The animals’ gratitude is what it’s all about though, right? Or mostly? Symphony concerts have weird powers. I always forget that. There’s this transporting and distracting/relaxing thing to them that’s really unique. And deepening. I don’t know. And Mahler’s 5th is great. I like Mahler. Yesterday, I tried to make serious progress on the pre-move stuff. Didn’t get quite serious enough, but I’m on my way now. Zac wanted to think and make more notes about my film proposal ideas, so we delayed our meeting until today. Sadly, artist and d.l. Jonathan Mayhew is about to end his Paris residency and go back to Dublin, so we had a last hang out. We went to Paris’s by-far-best English language bookstore, Berkeley Books. I really didn’t want to buy anything because I’m trying to get rid of stuff to lighten my move, but I bought two books anyway. James Tate, Ishmael Reed. Then we hit up the sublime French/Japanese patisserie Sadaharu Aoki for some goodies. Then we had a coffee and visit, and then he sadly headed off, and I came home and kept pre-moving. I was really annoyed because the producers of Zac’s and my film put up three stills ‘from our film’ on their site, and two of them aren’t even from our film and they censored the third one, so I wrote them a testy email demanding that they remove them. Jesus. Not much else. Nothing else exciting. Today doesn’t promise too much excitement, but I’ll let you know what happened irregardless. Did you feel calmer and sparkier today? ** James, Hi. I don’t know in feet, but it’s about 55 square meters. It’s really huge compared to where I’ve been living, even though it’s not huge. It’s roomy, though. ** Keaton, Ha ha, maybe not, ha ha, but maybe so, I don’t even know. London is the only city where I feel like I’m made to feel weird and alien because I don’t like drinking alcohol. Misanthrope did that guilty pleasures post here a while back, and I couldn’t think of any guilty pleasures I have, but, now that you mention it, I think Steven Seagal movies probably qualify. ** White tiger, Hi, Math! Cool. ‘Ktl’ has a tour coming up. Let me see if I can remember: Australia (Adelaide plus either Melbourne or Tasmania), Holland (Tilburg), Geneva, somewhere else I can’t remember (in Germany maybe?), and Paris. Love to you, buddy. ** Misanthrope, Hi. You didn’t ask me, but I listen to Tim Hecker in the car on my travels quite a lot, plus at home. The lawyer way-back-when said that if I had been ‘a flamer’, i.e. ‘obvious’, he would have suggested it, but, since I wasn’t, it became a weak idea because a lot of straight guys were saying they were gay to get out of Vietnam duty, and proving gayness was a bitch. I know some people who only friend people on Facebook who are also their real life friends. Not many, but I do know a few. No, people don’t really do that with me. M reputation seems to precede me or something. Well, based on past trends, now that the beard thing is dying out, mustaches get a turn in the sun for a while, but not for long, and then clean-shavenness will be cool again. That’s kind of what happened when the hippie thing died out. ** Cal Graves, Hi. Oh, you don’t pass around print-outs of the poems in class? If so, that does seem strange to me. So the class is really into poetry being an oral art form or something? Ugh, job hunt, what are you hoping to get? No, in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever read Georges Simenon, which seems very strange to me. ‘Pedigree’ … I’ll check it out, Thank you! Writers I despise? Hm … I don’t think ‘despise’, no. Kind of dislike, but that’s different. I don’t despise very many things. I’m a pretty live and let live guy. Bands? Mm, just the obvious, boring bands like, you know, U2, Coldplay, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and so on, I guess. Artists? Other than Abramovic? Not off the top of my head. I despise Lars von Trier’s films. Does he count? Hm, I’ll have to think more careful about that question t ocome up with examples, I think. I’m sure I’m probably forgetting all kinds of hateful artists, ha ha. What about you? Are there writers, bands, artists, etc whom you despise? Frog-bottle-ly? Ha ha, that’s a great one. Uh, … (not great) … uh, Poindexter-ly? Dennis ** Gregoryedwin, Hi, G! How’s it going? Are you handling the always intense, confusing ‘book just published’ phase okay? Bill Berkson! That’s really sweet. He’s cool. I met him once. He wouldn’t remember. It was ages ago. I thought he was very suave and gentle. I need to get Brad’s book. Shit, I really need to order that. Lovely to see you, pal. ** Chilly Jay Chill, Hi, Jeff. Lucky you on the Sleater-Kinney gig. Sounds amazing. They must be heading over to Paris. I hope it’s not a festival gig. That would suck. Very, very interesting: what’s happening to your novel. Yeah, in fact, I know what you mean very well. That has happened with my novels frequently, and it does create a real dilemma. Is there not the possibility of retaining some of the fleshing out and discarding others? Making certain interactions and character psychologies richer and leaving other situations and ‘people’ more … placeholder-like? Or something? I find myself doing that sometimes, but my novels lend themselves to variations in depth, maybe, that thickening and thinning, I think? I don’t know. Very interesting. ** Right. I happen to obviously think those guys up there video-reviewing things is kind of fascinating for some reason. See what you think, though. See you tomorrow.

12 Comments

  1. _Black_Acrylic

    @ DC, lately I've been reading Reiner Stach's excellent Kafka biography and it's compelled me to make those life resolutions. I've been getting into a rut. As you know I'm very much about independence, and getting taxis everywhere has gotten very tiresome. I'd love to be able to just get about the place myself. I'll see about what grants are available for drivers with MS, and what assessments it would require. I'll also figure out costings etcetera and work out whether it's all feasible.

  2. steevee

    I've exchanged a few E-mails with Stokoe, but I don't know him well, so I don't know what his monetary requirements might have been. But wanting a decent amount of money for a fourth novel – one which followed the relatively mainstream EMPTY MILE – doesn't strike me as outrageous, although I haven't read COLONY yet and don't know if it's as violent as COWS & HIGH LIFE.

  3. DavidEhrenstein

    Gayness is not a bitch, BUT THERE ARE SOME REAL GAY BITCHES OUT THERE!

    Frankly I hate these KAPOS more than their butt-boy Ted Cruz.

  4. Sypha

    Dennis, well, back in the day I recall you used to bash Muse a lot. And Kevin Smith as well, ha ha. I get the sense you're not exactly a Christopher Nolan fan either (hey, neither am I, aside from his "Batman" films I don't rate him all that much).

  5. John

    hey dennis,

    I don't remember much of what I did! It's kind of all a haze and the days bleed together so easily there. I'm sure you know that. I was also pretty preoccupied with a boy all week so I did a lot of staying in at his house. I am wanting to move out there this year sometime, so I'm excited to get more of a feel for it when I move.

    I have to share this with you now that I'm writing a comment today. I just finished reading this excerpt of an interview from a few years ago with this pop star Ariana Grande, I don't know how familiar you are with her. But Complex magazine interviewed her and she just started talking about demons, and I felt like I was reading one of your books! The way she constructs her sentences about this, I think you would love it. Such a weird text, pop culture crossed with this really creepy evil patina. Anyways…

    Do you believe in aliens and ghosts?
    Of course. We’d be so stupid to believe we are the only people here.

    Have you ever seen an alien?
    Not an alien, but I’ve had a ghost/demon experience. We were in Kansas City a few weeks ago and went to this haunted castle and were so excited. The next night we wanted to go to Stull Cemetery, which is known as one of the seven gates to hell on Earth. The Pope won’t fly over it—

    I love that you know that. Sorry, go on.
    I felt this sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity over the whole car and we smelled sulfur, which is the sign of a demon, and there was a fly in the car randomly, which is another sign of a demon. I was like, “This is scary, let’s leave.” I rolled down the window before we left and said, “We apologize. We didn’t mean to disrupt your peace.” Then I took a picture and there are three super distinct faces in the picture—they’re faces of textbook demons.

    Let’s see the picture.
    I deleted it. The next day I tried to send the picture to my manager and it said, “This file can’t be sent, it’s 666 megabytes.” I’m not kidding. I used to have a folder called “Demons” that had pictures with all the screencaps in it, but then weird things started happening to me so I deleted it.

    What weird things?
    I was going to sleep about two weeks ago. I had just gotten off the phone and as soon as I closed my eyes I heard this really loud rumble right by my head. When I opened my eyes it stopped immediately, but when I closed my eyes it started again with whispers. Every time I closed my eyes I started seeing these really disturbing images with, like, red shapes. Then I opened my eyes and got back on the phone and was like, “I’m really scared and I don’t want to go to bed tonight.” And then I scooched over to the left side of my bed, because that’s where the best service is in my room, and there was this massive black matter. I don’t know what it was.

    What?!?
    It was like a cloud of something black right next to me. I started crying. I was on the phone like, “What do I do, what do I do?” and they said, “Tell it to eff off.” I thought, I’m not going to do that. It’s going to upset it, so I’m just going to chill and not feed into it because all it wants is fear. It feeds on fear. I watched it move to the front of my bed and then I fell asleep on the phone. I woke up and it was gone. The next night my friend Tyler was staying with me. She said she was trying to sleep and her body felt paralyzed almost, and she described the same exact thing I saw.

    xx,

    John

  6. Thomas Moronic

    Oh man these are great. I love the obsession or passion or whatever that drives them. A lot of interesting stuff going on.

  7. kier

    hey dendrobium (google that!), have you ever seen a goth drive? yeah i'd say it is all about the animals' appreciation, but co-workers' appreciation really helps too. i think i'm just gonna have to get over it 'cause it's not gonna change. did get some sleep, but i'm not fully caught up yet so i'll put that on my week schedge. too bad jonathan's leaving paris, lucky you got to hang out with him some though. i saw the link to the producer's page with the photos, i really don't understand why they would put up photos that aren't in your film? is there any kind of logic to that? it would piss me off too. they're weird creatures your producers. today my boss kind of chastised me as soon as i got to work, and yep once i was alone i cried some 'cause i've been feeling so miserable at work lately, but i think i'm over feeling bad about it now. anyway, i always feel better once i get into the work and get to hang out with the sheep and stuff. one of my co-workers has been away since before christmas in rehab, and she's just come back to work and we worked together today, which was awesome. had to do some high-level sheep herding today, the electricity was off on the fences and twice the sheep and their lambs got out into the adjoining field, and were about to go into the forest. sheep wrangling i'm used to, but lamb herding is another thing entirely! the thing is lambs aren't motivated by the promise of food, they're fed by their mothers so we don't really mean anything to them. plus they're so small they can run all over the place. it was a bitch, but i guess i need the exercise. the chickens get to run around everywhere during the daytime now, so when we go down with the food in the afternoon they all come running and then follow you into the hen-pen. it's cute. that's the gist of my day. had dinner with my family tonight, that was alright. how was your friday?

  8. kier

    jesus, that was longer than i expected!

  9. James

    Dennis,

    "It has a lot of heat in there…"

    The vinegar hot sauce kid is adorable… Something tells me he may develop a drinking problem in his early twenties 😉

    Thanks to kiddiepunk for curating!

    BTW, what is Canaan pepper? Lol..

    Hope you got some packing done today Dennis!

    Xoxo,
    James

  10. steevee

    I'm going to see a documentary tonight on the pre-Khmer Rouge Cambodian rock'n'roll scene, DON'T THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN. I wish I'd picked up the CAMBODIAN ROCKS compilations when they were widely available. Can one download them now?

  11. Kyler

    Hey Dennis, that Iaan reviewing Sunday in the Park with George was priceless. I have a real affinity with that show, as I was chauffeuring Flora Roberts, Stephen Sondheim's agent, all during the previews of its original run on B'way. It was fairly avant-garde for B'way back then (or even now), and they were having trouble during the previews. I drove Sondheim once with Flora and here's a direct quote from him that has inspired me many times in future years: "Flora, we've got to make it work! We WILL make it work!"

  12. SangSmall

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