“This collection made me feel in exactly the way that I want art to make me feel – it brought out feelings that I needed bringing out, it hurt me in a way that also felt beautiful. It made me feel – it reminded me I was alive.” — Thomas Moore (on Robbie Coburn’s work)
And I Could Not Have Hurt You
Poems by Robbie Coburn
Artwork by Michael Salerno
88 pages. Released December 2023 by Kiddiepunk
‘Kiddiepunk is proud to present “And I Could Not Have Hurt You” a new book of poems by Robbie Coburn. This harrowing collection consists of 36 sombre and piercing poems exploring death, loss, depression and self-harm. Presented in three sections, the poems form a fractured and harrowing narrative that doubles as a descent into the abyss.’
Paperback via Kiddiepunk online store:
https://www.kiddiepunk.com/and_I_could_not_have_hurt_you.htm
Playlist:
TVISB – Shallow
Antaeus – Inner War
Townes Van Zandt – Waiting Around to Die
Lifelover – Nackskott (Neckshot)
Bob Dylan – Not Dark Yet
Manic Street Preachers – Yes
Bethlehem – Aphel, die schwarze Schlange
AFI – The Leaving Song Pt. II
Psychonaut 4 – Pain Dealer
Emma Ruth Rundle – Living with the Black Dog
Quotes
“A man who wants to mutilate himself is certainly damned, isn’t he?”
― Arthur Rimbaud
“I hurt myself to get pain out.”
― Manic Street Preachers, Yes
“If I could have chosen, I would have died at my birth.”
― Robbie Coburn
“Cut your flesh and worship Satan.”
― Antaeus, Inner War
Franklin : Hey, I bet that’s some of that guy’s blood. Look at that. Look at that. You think that’s blood?
Kirk : Yeah, I guess so.
Franklin : Oh, that’s blood, all right. And that guy cut the hell out of himself. You think you could do that to yourself?
Kirk : [laughs] I’m not crazy.
Franklin : Yeah, but. It takes something, though, I mean, just to do that to yourself like he did.
― The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Poem excerpts
Thank you note:
I want to say thank you to Dennis Cooper for including my work on this legendary blog.
I especially want to say thank you to Michael Salerno for everything. The journey in writing and putting this book together has been a surreal dream come true. Michael’s genius, inspiration and vision were what made this book what it is.
I also want to thank my friend Thomas Moore for the constant belief and support of my work. Hails.
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Robbie Coburn is a poet based in Melbourne, Australia. His books include “Ghost Poetry”, “And I Could Not Have Hurt You” and “The Other Flesh”.
He released the album “Womb”, a collaboration with noise artist TVISB, in 2023.
Instagram: @robbiecoburn
https://robbiecoburn.com
Kiddiepunk:
https://kiddiepunk.com
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p.s. Hey. The blog is so lucky as to get to roll out its red carpet function twice in one week thanks to the timely appearance of a beautiful and dark book of poems by the young Australian poet Robbie Coburn courtesy of the unimpeachable Kiddiepunk Press. Please feast upon the evidence at hand and make what I think is a terrific discovery. Thank you to Robbie and Kiddiepunk for having this platform in mind. ** James Bennett, Hi. Oh, that Korine film is wonderful. If I’m not at least a little tormented by what I’m working on, I’m sure I’m being boring. Actually, no, I don’t reread books much, or at least not fiction. There are always too many new books I’m jonesing to read, and I can’t waste time, I guess. I do reread poetry a lot. It’s amazing how a really good poem can live a hundred different lives inside one head. Do you read while you’re writing? I don’t think I do other than picking something up and letting myself get a quick hit off its prose or something. I’m feeling relatively right as rain again. Hope you’re chugging along. ** _Black_Acrylic, Ha ha, nice, abuse at the Stones and/or their surrogates. They have certainly warranted it in the last few decades. That Hotel Chocolate cracker looks fun. ** Dominik, Hi!!! ‘Mr. Lonely’ is lovely. Give it a try. Another strike against ‘May December’. It’s sinking on my to-do list like a stone. Yeah, with Grolet, it’s all in the mouth, although he does make these insane pastries that look exactly like fruits. Here’s his apple, for instance. Love’s celebratory dance was wild in my head, thank you. Love giving me the power to delete a certain human being, G. ** Mark, Hi! You’re back, or I guess I assume you’re back, back being the LA environs. Crushed that I can’t see the zine show. Can’t imagine it’ll get over here, but … Your trip sounds suitably packed and sparkly. Cool. I’ll hit refresh on the PM page until your Eastman zine is a headline. The film is great, but everything around it is awful. Nothing new particularly, in other words. Great to see you, pal! ** T, Ha ha, I considered a velcro wallet — they do exist — but they are uggggly. Great about your writing. The way it sounds like it went is the best, spoken as a fellow hater of writing itself and lover or least accepter of the relative joys of editing. Great, great!! Let me see if any good buches will be available before the 17th, although memory tells me they’re mostly only gettable from the 20’s on. But, if so, we can always share a Galette when you get back. And Galettes may not looks like a billion Euros, but they taste, you know, awfully good. So we’re set either way. Or, wait, are you back here on the 28th? If so, that makes buche sharing immensely possible. Please advise. ** Steve Erickson, I’ll try to find the Pallenberg doc. A billion years ago she gave me something for my Little Caesar Magazine. It was kind of just drugged out doggerel, but I was going to publish it anyway. But it was for the ill-fated 13th issue on which my parents pulled the financial plug. I saw that they have Fireflies Press books at the Jeu de Paume, two blocks from me, so I’m going to peruse what they have. Thankfully no SantaCon here, but that surprises me because I fear the French would go whole hog on it. ** Misanthrope, But once you sort it, you’ll be typing and scrolling and downloading in a dream. Was your mom’s birthday the veritable blast? Champagne raspberry: I would like it. ** Jeff J, Hi, Jeff. Thanks! Great to see you! I saw the newer doc, ‘Brian Jones & the Stones’. It’s okay, worth watching, I think. So sorry to hear the health stuff is ongoing. Christ. Sure, let’s Zoom. Let me know when’s good. Shit, no, I haven’t hit up the new EP yet. The film stuff really disorganises my brain. I’ll go listen today. Cool. Stuff around the film is tough. We’re in a very tough period. We’ll get through it, but it’s very sobering to remember how hierarchical conservative film supporters are. Talk soon, I hope. ** Goutful, Hi, Goutful! Great to meet you. How do you pronounce your name? You’re a medical student. Kudos. What’s your speciality if that’s an appropriate question to ask? Oh, you know, I’m embarrassed to say I’m kind of afraid of doctors. I only see them when I think I might be dying. So I don’t have a doctor, and when I see one over here in Paris, it’s always just once for a specific fix. I think if I saw a doctor and they had a copy of Agota Kristof’s ‘The Book of Lies’ trilogy on their shelf, I would completely and totally trust them. Do you trust doctors more when they have excellent cultural tastes? What’s going on with you? Please tell me more if you want. ** Caesar, Hi, Caesar. I’m happy to see you. I know it’s a different situation, but everyone I know in the US survived the Trump presidency and seems to be surviving the enormously scary prospect that he could possibly return while continuing to make their art and have fun. Seemingly. It’s awful, your guy, what he’s trying to do. I should do a Marianne Faithfull post, you’re right. Strange that I haven’t. I’ll get on that. Tomorrow you turn 23! It’s early, but I wish you happiest, least stressful, most creative birthday that could possibly be composed by what the earth has to offer! Do you have plans that could make my wish for you come true? Hugs and kisses from way over here and me to you! ** Audrey, Hi, Audrey. She’s a curious figure for sure. No, the buches are one-time only things, they never repeat. Although some patisserie in Paris could steal that chef’s idea next year and really should. Actually, most people I trust, including you, weren’t very into ‘May December’. The Fireflies Press Decedent Editions is what I’ll look for. As I told Steve, there are Fireflies books on sale at the big photography museum just down the road from me, so maybe they’ll have the Decedent ones. I’m not sure how interesting this book would be if you don’t know Hollis Frampton’s films, but he’s one of my two favorite filmmakers (along w/ Bresson), and I’m reading a great book about his films called ‘Hollis Frampton: Navigating the Infinite Cinema’. Frampton’s a genius, so maybe it would be interesting in any case, but I don’t know. Deleuze’s writings on film are amazing. ‘Cinema 1: The Movement-Image’ is a good place to start. Congrats on getting to ‘Gravity’s Rainbow’s’ finish line. I haven’t really read or seen anything in the last couple of weeks that blew me away. There’s a retrospective of Alice Rohrwacher’s films at the Pompidou, and I want to see some of them. Love, Dennis. ** Right. Please help usher Mr. Coburn’s book into the world and hopefully into you until I see you next aka tomorrow.
Now available in North America 
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I am going to get this book hopefully during the holidays. I was already there when I read the small poem used as promo on Instagram
Congratulations to Robbie, good travels to your book
My new edition of Closer is finally here, is sitting near me along with Rimbaud book as New Arrival like A*Teens
Yesterday night I went through your post of all time favourite novels. I took screenshots of every single one, even the ones I have inside my house. So many of them I have not read though so I started making lists. I am dying to read Ice by Anna Kavan. I feel she it totally for me. This is her last book I think and her best success also. Is it good idea to read it as first of hers? Did you ever think of doing a second part of this post? It would be amazing if you have more novels you did not have space or time to include
Love from rainy Crete
Thank you so much for the kind words and support.
I truly appreciate it.
Warmest wishes
Robbie
Hey Dennis, thank you for the book recommendation! One of my favourite blog post genres. Another interesting writer/artist from Melbourne. I really want to visit there.. seems to be such a vibrant place.
I am reading a lot at the moment. But I would almost never interrupt a writing session to read. I read a bit in the morning before I head to the library, and again at night when I come home. Often it will be different books, as in I’ll read something more difficult in the morning and something a bit easier at night. This keeps me a little bit sane. Right now it’s Djuna in the morning and Edith Wharton before bed.
Do you mean you stop reading point blank while you are writing a novel? That’s interesting if so. I’ve heard other writers say something similar. I have definitely had thoughts about input and output modes before, and that when you are having a burst of output you should just commit and not try to put anything in while it lasts. But right now doing both seems to work for me.
And inexhaustible poetry, yes, absolutely. What a blessing. There’s a section of my bookshelf called Gay American Poets’ Corner, which I go to for a shot of some serious energy whenever I feel the need.
best wishes, J
Hi!!
Congratulations to everyone involved in the birth of this book! It looks devastatingly beautiful. I must have it.
Wow. I need to reevaluate my initial impression of Cédric Grolet’s work. These apples look incredibly realistic!
Have you tried the cinnamon roll bakery?
I’m guessing that “certain human being” is your producer…? What’s happening around the film right now?
Love saving me from the work meeting I have to attend in five minutes, Od.
I’ve posted my list of my favorite albums, songs and reissues to my blog. The top 10 albums are:
Hannah Diamond-PERFECT PICTURE (PC Music)
Beverly Glenn-Copeland- THE ONES AHEAD (Transgressive)
Jlin-PERSPECTIVE (Planet Mu)
Kelela-RAVEN (Warp)
King Krule- SPACE HEAVY (Matador)
Lankum-FALSE LANKUM (Rough Trade)
Olivia Rodrigo-GUTS (Geffen)
Romance & Dean Hurley- I MELT WITH YOU (Ecstatic), Romance-FADE INTO YOU (Ecstatic)
The Tubs-DEAD MEAT (Trouble in Mind)
Underscores- WALLSOCKET (Mom + Pop)
Here’s a link to the full list: https://wordpress.com/page/steeveecom.wordpress.com/6549
Is there likely to be any news on post-production before Christmas, or has your work basically shut down for the year?
I posted the wrong link. The correct one is https://steeveecom.wordpress.com/best-music-of-2023/
Dennis and Robbie: Intensely good poems! Thank you both & Kiddiepunk too. Also luvd the Anita Pallenberg bits& pics yesterday. And the yummy Paris art cakes before that. Every day is a twisted Chrisssmass morning on the DC blog ! LOVEz.. jack
Thank you so much, Jack!
Really appreciate these kind words.
Love your work.
Robbie
@ Robbie and Michael, congratulations are in order! Major respect is due for putting these poems out there, and in such a beautiful package too.
Thank you so much for these kind words. Means heaps.
Really enjoying checking out your work on your website.
With warmest wishes
Robbie
Hi Dennis — Great to meet you too. It’s like Gout-full.
I’m early enough along that I don’t have to know what I’m going to specialize in yet, but right now I’m leaning towards internal medicine. And that’s not something to be embarrassed of; a lot of people feel the same and do the same.
I’ll have to give Kristof’s trilogy a look if it can do that! (Coburn’s book too) I don’t necessarily trust doctors more if they have excellent cultural tastes/I don’t necessarily distrust them if they don’t. At the same time, medical education is an education of the senses and a kind of reading as much as anything else—you’ve got to train the parts of you that sense/read in a way that makes you feel implicated in another person’s body.
(I have a teacher who I shadow who has me spend an exorbitant amount of time on the “general appearance” of the physical exam so that I practice how to look at patients.)
Nothing much going on with me besides thinking about that kind of stuff and studying how organs work and how they get sick or make us sick. We have a quiz on pancreatitis tomorrow, and we’re learning how to do abdominal ultrasound. I hope you are feeling well 🙂 Cheers!
I am taking an overnight ferry on the 28th, so to be honest by the time I’ve got back to Paris it may as well be the 30th! Is that too late? I hope not… Anyway, you can definitely galette me up if it is!
Hey Dennis –
Really enjoyed this post. Robbie’s book looks amazing from the excerpts and of course immaculately designed by Michael. I’m eager to get my hands on a copy!
Thanks for checking out the new Julian Calendar EP. Interested to know what hits you from it.
I’ve been reading Blake’s new book “Molly,” which is lovely and heart-shattering so far.
You free to talk via Zoom next sometime Monday or Tuesday?
Thank you so much, Jeff!
I’m a huge fan of your work so it is surreal to read these kind words.
I really hope you like the book.
I’m waiting for my copy of “Molly” to arrive. It looks truly incredible and absolutely shattering.
With admiration and warmest wishes
Robbie
Hey friend!
Just checking in. I will respond to ur last questions/commits when I get time
I’ve been stressed and I’ve been feeling dumb.
Everytime they tell me things are work I can’t keep up. When I try folding clothes I can’t do it their way and even with the stupid fucking burrito folder
Sigh. Anyways I say all this to say I have very low self esteem right now and especially towards working at as a waiter because I feel I will fail.
I think the next days I will compose myself because Saturday is my friend’s birthday a d we are hanging out my good friends and people I haven’t seen in so long and it will be a good thing and I will feel so greatly loved because I have bad confidence about that!!
So I will be good put I will pick up with things as before.
What are ur opinions on elephants they are so cute and I want to meet Carl Aukley the first man to taxidermy elephants but he’s dead so I can’t.
What about the slave that taught Darwin?
I just realized you quoted a bunch of people on self harm
Interesting since I have a very bad self harm thing and I haven’t actually done it in a couple weeks which feels really big even though it doesn’t seem long but I thought here would be a good time to say that I’ve been keeping that razor-free streak going!
People who self harm are sad pussy emo virgin bitches. That’s how I have to think about it so I don’t do it, hahah does the trick since so many weird losers like to glorify it but really for me it’s just impulsive and I don’t even remember sometimes.
Also is this a book about self harm? I think if it is I would like to read it
Here’s a really good quote tho that is in a Crystal Castle song that I really like by Alice Glass. It’s about sex-robots, but I like to think of it about self harm:
“Just because we don’t feel flesh doesn’t mean we can’t feel pain.”
Do you know which CC song that is from?
Do scars gross u out?
I think they are kind of cool. Not the self-inflicted. Well, maybe some of my scars are kind of fascinating to look at.
Although some of the quotes picked seem like they glorify hurting themselves.
No offense, but I would hope you don’t see it that way? I personally think it’s damaging, but what do I know? It’s kind of like a drug thing. Drugs can kill some people but sometimes it can help people. I think it can kill me, but it didn’t seem to kill Chris Burden or…well, it did seem to kill Dead from Mayhem didn’t it?
Sorry I’m like totally chilling in my room and I’ve never talked about my opinions regarding self harm because I don’t want to weird my friends out.
But I thought this was really cool
Dear Dennis, how are you today? I hope you are well. As I write this it is already my birthday. I’m not particularly excited about it, it brings back some bad memories plus I never know how to act on a birthday. But I think this birthday is going to be different: my friends and college buddies have organized an outing for me and maybe I can get some air. On this outing, the guy I’ve been dating for 4 years will be coming (for some reason we are still not dating, fear of commitment? maybe I don’t know but I hope I have the courage to change that soon) and besides that, Lina Meruane, Chilean author I recommended to you some time ago, is coming to Argentina so I will go to see her to sign her books. Maybe I’ll buy a book (Piranesi by Susanna Clarke for sure).
I think that if America survived Trump, we will probably survive this cheap copy of Boris Johnson. I really hope so.
By the way, I love your posts that bring poetry, please do it more often (maybe at the end of the day, poetry will save us) Kisses and hugs, as always.
Viva Robbie Coburn!
Viva Kiddiepunk!
Robbie is such a terrific writer and thinker and it’s exciting to see his work being celebrated in the way that it deserves to be!
And Michael’s vision and design are as always, god level great.
Love
Thomas xoxo
Thank you so much, my dear friend.
These words mean the world to me.
I am so grateful for your support and feel so lucky to see my work here. It’s a dream come true. Not to mention the surreal dream of having a book out with Kiddiepunk, my favourite publisher on earth. Feeling very grateful.
Love
Robbie
Xoxo
Mr. Dennis! Did I horrify you with my catamenial bûche nightmare (though there would be an adorably tiny baby figurine swimming around in the raspberry filling– the ‘near-miss’ in this queen’s cake!)? I’d apologize, except you know quite well down which path that would take us– soon I’d be apologizing for existing– so– How about I just send my love instead? Crass gaffe that I am there’s sweetness in me too, lots of sweetness like raspberry crème filling my heart (the baby K waves to you from within- flips the bird but she means it with so, so much love)…
(hey/ did you know that ‘k-waves’ are long, circuitous waves of growth in economics? Ranging from 40-60 years, almost as long as a human life/ hmmm… what if we lived much, much longer/ what sorts of cultural currents would change? just pondering—would you really want to live much longer? I bet you, DC, would be ok, but most of us wouldn’t do so well I think. Here. You can have my years. A gift {wouldn’t that be great if you could do that- gift your unwanted years to someone who deserves it?})
I go. Mwxwaaa!!! -k/g
P.S. Are you possibly one of the ‘animals’ in Ms. Gerstler’s “Index of Women”? The giraffe, perhaps? Ha ha- no, that’s not the right poem at all, you’re almost the opposite of that one// It’s been a while since I’ve read the book, but are you there?
P.P.S. Did you know that room temperature is the zone between frozen and boiling in which food becomes poison? Of course, it’s also a barometer of spiritual presence (and we “read the room” of the living, too). Room temperature is, by its nature, defined by the makers of the room. -bye!
P.P.P.S. Scars are like the inside of the body asserting itself, realizing itself out in the world. Just thinking about some of Robbie’s poems.
*’read the temperature of the room’, i meant