* (restored)

 

‘In the late eighties, hardcore punk was dying on the vine. Many of the great bands had decided that they’d rather play metal or reggae and so the scene was beginning to wither and crack. But the whole genre was given a shot in the arm by the unlikeliest of bands from the unlikeliest of places.

‘The band was Old Skull and came out of Wisconsin, formed by the Toulon brothers, Jamie and J.P. and their friend Jesse Collins-Davies. The Toulon brothers were nine and ten years old respectively and Jesse was ten. The brother’s father, Vern Toulon, was friends with Robin Davies, a member of respected Wisconsin band Tar Babies and Davies suggested his stepson form a band with the Toulon brothers. Once the deal was sealed, Old Skull came together about 1987. Quickly developing a reputation for their age and the subject matter of the songs, they managed to snag a deal with Restless Records and entered the studio with future Garbage member and producer Steve Marker and their fathers, the trio cranked out a noisy album of pre-adolescent hardcore entitled Get Outta School in 1989.

 

 

‘The songs were a blend of speed and pure, youthful punk energy and the band were seen as either a complete joke or the real thing. They got write ups in Rolling Stone, Newsweek and People magazine and were seen on tour with The Flaming Lips and GWAR. But problems started as people began speculating that Vern Toulon had actually written all the songs and was pulling the strings behind the scenes. These questions were never given credible answers and so the mystery still surrounds.

‘After a lineup change which saw Collins-Davies leave the band and a new drummer being brought in, the original version of Old Skull fell apart by late 1990 and the kids went back to school and the name went quiet. That is until 1992 when a new Old Skull album entitled C.I.A. Drug Fest was released. This album was produced by Vern Toulon and saw the inclusion of another set of brothers, Chris and Josh Scott on guitars and vocals. J.P. and Jamie had switched places with J.P. playing drums and Jamie singing. The resulting record is extremely difficult to listen to as a punk record. It seems like a lot of noise masquerading as songs. But it is worth to own just as a novelty.

 

 

‘After a little touring in support of the record, the band disbanded for real and the members all began growing up and moved on with their lives. The Scott brothers dropped off the face of the earth entirely while the Toulon family as a whole went underground. During the band’s initial early days, the Toulon’s parents had divorced but the brothers kept going. Then sometime in the ’90’s, their mother was reported killed in a train accident but not much else was known beyond that. By that point, the world had forgotten Old Skull and the Toulon’s began a very rough patch in life.

‘In 2001, it was reported that Vern Toulon had passed away after years of alcoholism, an affliction that had gotten so bad that he was reportedly panhandling on the streets of Madison. The brothers didn’t say anything regarding his passing and nothing further was heard of the Toulon’s until a couple of years later when both of them reemerged in New York, squatting on the streets with what were called ‘crust punks.’ This group of punks were living on the streets of NYC and started making music dealing with their plights. Jamie in particular became a founding member of Star Fucking Hipsters, a side project of one of the more renowned of these bands, Leftover Crack. J.P. formed Planned Collapse and began playing small clubs around New York.

 

 

‘In 2005, the brothers reemerged on stage at CBGB as Old Skull playing a show with some friends backing them up. It would be one of the last times the brothers would be seen playing music. About this time, J.P. began dealing with a pretty nasty drug problem, one that would land him in jail and rehab over the years. But by 2010, it looked like J.P. had beaten the habit and had moved in with his son in an effort to keep himself clean. But then on November 13, 2010, it was reported that J.P. Toulon had passed away. No formal cause of death was ever announced but it had been reported that he’d been hospitalized with pancreatitis in the preceding months. In an even sadder twist of fate to all of this was that J.P. died the same day as Jamie’s birthday.

‘The small community of devoted Old Skull fans were devastated and word went out all over the Internet in memory. Jamie Toulon, on the other hand, was struggling with depression and continued living on the streets, just barely getting by. In the summer of 2011, he somehow wound up in Lynchburg, Virginia, which is where this author went to college. Having graduated three years before and moved back home, I never had a chance to run into Jamie but I would like to believe it would’ve been interesting and might have made for a great interview. How he wound up in the same city where I found myself as a writer and as a person is something I’ll always wonder about. Unfortunately, I never got to find this out.

 

 

‘In June of 2011, Jamie committed suicide in Lynchburg, tragically bringing an end to Old Skull and the sad history of the Toulon family. It was incredibly heartbreaking for friends and fans of the band to hear the news. What made it even worse was that his suicide came seven months after J.P.’s death. With Jamie’s death, fans made tributes and posted messages but in the mainstream, his death was not reported at all, as opposed to J.P.’s death.

‘While the Toulon brothers met very young and extremely tragic endings, the other founding member of the band has led a very successful life; Jesse Collins-Davies is now a DJ in Wisconsin and has a very successful career going for himself. It has been over twenty years since the first Old Skull record and during that time, there has never been one definitive interview chronicling the band’s career. Now with Collins-Davies the only surviving member of this teenage punk band, he might come out and do an interview and people will be more than ready to hear what he has to say.’ — Pete Crigler, Perfect Sound Forever

 

JP and Jamie Toulon, early ’90s

 

My Life with Old Skull (1994 – 2011)

‘When I was about 10 years old, my older brother Ben, who got me into bands like Minor Threat and The Dead Kennedy’s, turned me on to a band called Old Skull. This was around the time they released their 2nd album CIA Drug Fest. At the time their 1st album Get Outta School was released, the members of Old Skull were between the ages of 8 and 10. I was immediately drawn to them. I did not care that they couldn’t play there instruments. I knew that didn’t matter. As a very rebellious child I thought there could be nothing cooler than having a punk band at such an early age.

‘A few years later, my brother made some random decision to move to Madison, Wisconsin. A couple weeks after his big move (he was 16 by the way), I received a call from him, “Hey, I made some cool new friends out here. JP and Jamie Toulon. They’re brothers and they where in Old Skull. After Madison got old, Ben and JP decided to move to NYC and be squatters together. Train hopping was involved as well somewhere within these years. Jamie ended up moving to NYC sometime in the mix as well.

 

JP Toulon (around the time I met him)

 

‘JP was 15 when I met him, I was 13 I think. We ended up becoming good pals during the times that Ben would bring him up to visit. Mainly we just watched a lot of television together and would crack jokes. BB guns where a big part of our relationship as well. Jamie and I never got to close. He was a serious loner in most peoples eyes.

 

JP Toulon

 

‘JP and Jamie’s father had died of a heroin overdose at sometime or another. Their mother, hit by a train. This was probably a big factor in why they fell into deep dark drug addictions. My brother became a big part of that as well. Sometime, somewhere down the road, I had joined them. Ben was not supportive of my decision but at times he was forced to overlook that. There I was, going on dope runs with my childhood heroes. I thought I was bad until I saw JP do things like stick a syringe in his neck because all the veins in his arms had collapsed or shoot 10 bags at once. I am not calling myself a saint. I would constantly go on benders, run out of money, get sick, repeat. it turned into a scheduled agenda. I’ll spare the real gory details.

 

My brother Ben

 

‘To make a long story short, my brother, who was doing quite well, had one of his little slips about 3 years back. He was found dead on a bathroom floor. One year later JP died of a speedball overdose (cocaine and heroin mix). One year after that, Jamie hanged himself. But no matter how skeezy JP was, everybody loved him. He was one of the funniest and most charismatic people I have ever known. I haven’t even thought of doing hard drugs ever since my brother died. He left behind a beautiful little girl named Adelaide, she to me is better than any drug ever created. JP left behind a beautiful son named Aiden, who is the same age as my niece. My brother played a huge role in making me the man I am today and I am extremely thankful for that. I always count my blessings and I still think Old Skull is fucking awesome!’ — Andy Animal, Andy’s World

 

Jamie Toulon

 

Further

Old Skull @ Wikipedia
Old Skull @ Dead Punk Stars
Old Skull @ Myspace
the adventures of jeff & unkajeff: Old Skull
‘Old Skull are young and half-informed’
‘Is it cruel … ?’
‘“The Gospel According to…” Presents…Old Skull – Get Outta School’
‘old skull: the hardcore punk shaggs’
‘Old Skull Brother J.P. Toulon Found Dead’
‘Jamie Toulon died’

 

Gallery

 

Tracks

AIDS

Let’s Go Kill That Man

Hot Dog Hell

Get On the Bus

Kill A Dead Eagle

Skate or Die

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Yay, you’re a ZG fan! I hope your busy day is making you happy not to be bored and aimless. Ha ha, did your chewing gum suddenly taste like potatoes at 2:38? Mine didn’t sadly. Love going back in time and making the millions of Aerosmith fans like Old Skull instead, G. ** CAUTIVOS, I’m pretty okay, you? Xmases are so much better over here in Paris where my family is far away and the guilt that used to make me buy them nice gifts is a total non-presence. I haven’t read Jean Philip Toussant in a long time. I can’t remember what I thought. I’m enjoying these days but not  for the reasons everyone else does, I think. I hope yours triggers something upbeat. ** jade, Hi. I think he showed up a little down below you, so good job. I think stupid behavior can be very charming, so hopefully they will, although I seriously doubt your behavior will be remotely stupid. I haven’t cued up your playlist yet due to busyness but I think today. Yum. What’s news with youse? ** _Black_Acrylic, It’s a very, very pleasurable read. Mm, not to tempt you, but chocolate doesn’t live a year in an edible condition, so you might risk adding a least a few pounds. ** Tosh Berman, Oh, you simply must read ‘EWYFS’. It’s wunderbar! Good, glad you’re good or at least good enough. Me too. Same report albeit with different entertainment. ** Misanthrope, Hi, George. Really, really read his novel. You’ll be very glad. I miss Zachary. I wonder how he is. He’s grown so quiet. I’m happy the Joe fest went so well, and it seemed to. Yes, you need to get out and about. As do I, although I do get out and about. Just try to make sure I’m across the channel when you traverse it. ** Jamie, Hi. I really highly recommend that novel. In fact, I did ride the Xmas dark ride yesterday with a couple of pals. And it’s both crappy and really good, I swear to god. I didn’t see the ‘I Wished’ play. It was in Strasbourg. It’s being performed in Paris, but I’ll be in LA shooting the film when it is, unfortunately. He showed me photos. They looked very interesting. He’s a very smart. I have a feeling it’s very good. He’s a huge fan of Blanchot like I am, so that speaks very well. He even has a Blanchot tattoo on his hands. My only upcoming plans involve continuing film work. I ate a really good crepe at the Xmas fair that was sweet but not sickly, so you were right. Then I will try pissing with hard-on as soon as possible love, Dennis. ** Nick., Hi, Nick! I’m really happy you came inside here. Thank you so much about my work. That’s so good to hear. I really look forward to getting to know you and what you do and like, so expect a lot of questions from me as well. Favorite color? This is a strange and maybe boring sounding answer, but I think my favorite color is white. I used to prefer black, but then I got this idea that white is an even more wrong/extreme choice or something. Which may make no sense. So, what’s going on? Tell me anything you want about you and yours. ** malcolm, Hi, m. It’s such a good novel. I think you’ll like it. Pretty rich Xmas there, not bad. God, I love banana bread. So, what did your parents think of your screenplay? I’m assuming they’re cool folks. Wow, Darcie Wilder … I think I’ve read her. I can’t remember what though. I’ll go find that book you mentioned. Thanks! We’re January birth sharers, eh? High five. Oh gosh, this particular upcoming birthday is one that I’m really, really not happy about, so I’m going to try to pretend it isn’t happening if I can. When’s yours? Are you going to do it up? ** Steve Erickson, There you go. And best laid plans. Well, at least Morrissey has saved you from a little work. So he’s still good for something. The new Serra, which I still haven’t seen, is the only thing I want to see that’s new and in theaters here. ** T, Hey, T! How’s it, pal? How was your Parisian Xmas? More eventful than mine, I hope. Actually, that version of ‘EWYFS’ is not the final version that’s in the novel. He extended and revised it quite a bit after that. Not that it’s not wonderful even in that version. Everyone, T points out that there’s an early version of ‘Eat When You Feel Sad’ that can be read in total at Bear Parade. The version that ended up in the novel is longer and better, but, if you don’t think you’ll end up getting the novel, reading the Bear Parade version is a good thing to do. And it’s here. Oh, sure, I very often impose technical/grammatical constraints when I write. Sometimes I can’t start without them. But I usually end up breaking them once I’m up to speed. What are you writing? Can you describe it? Let’s meet up and do something. That’d be cool. xoxo. ** Matthew Simmons, Hi, Matthew! It’s so good to see you! And here in my blog space even. Yeah, my mind was boggled to realise ‘EWYFS’ came out twelve years ago. Scary. How are you? What are you working on? Thanks for setting ‘foot’ in here. I’m honored. Big respect to you! ** ShadeoutMapes, Oh, hi! Ah, I liked your name. But I like your new one too. So, no loss. Yes, I would love to read it and mainly to be able to experience your writing. That would be great. You can send it to me by email, if you want: [email protected]. What’s the book you’re working on? Can you describe it? That’s exciting news. Very, very happy birthday to you, and it sounds like you’ve sorted out a perfect way to mark the occasion. I might just copy you when mine comes all too soon. Thanks! ** Okay. Someone recently asked me with great sincerity if I would restore this Old Skull post, and, due to the sincerity of the request and the fact that the post is kind of a charmer at the very least, or I think so, you are looking at it today. See you tomorrow.

 

‘Zachary German’s nimble, catwalking, archeological, surface dwelling, emotionally unpaved prose is a thing of total wonder and my favorite drug, language-based or otherwise. Eat When You Feel Sad is so bright and pleasurable and full of excellence, it’s positively serene.’ — Dennis Cooper

‘Zachary German would have been eleven years old the year American Psycho was released in theaters, and though I don’t know whether he saw the film before he read the book, it’s highly likely that a trailer for the film alerted him to the book’s existence in the first place. He would have understood going in, then, that the ultra-violence was a kind of cartoonish excess, and that the whole thing was to be understood (on some level) as a comedy, but he would have probably been still too young to fully grok how (or even that) the pathological cataloging of brand-names was meant as an extension of the central “joke.”

‘I’m sure he understands that now, but first impressions die hardest, and often times not at all. I understood the film version of American Psycho as just that—a version, which is in itself the reason I didn’t go see it in theaters. I didn’t want to see some director’s weird re-conception of this monumental horror novel as a comedy. I wanted to experience the Real And Serious Book Itself. Consequently, I still cannot think about American Psycho without a shiver running down my spine, because what I remember is not the book itself, so much as my throwing it across my dorm room, and only later working up the courage to pick it back up and see it through to the end.

‘There was a segue that I was building towards, connecting my speculation about what the young Zachary German probably took at face value with the adult (albeit barely) Zachary German’s penchant for name-checking everything that catches his protagonist Robert’s attention in German’s debut novel, Eat When You Feel Sad. But wherever that connection has got off to, I can’t find it, and so maybe it never existed in the first place—or maybe it’s so obvious that I should just let you put it together (or not) for yourself. In any case, this um, tendency of German’s is just one of the things that makes Eat When You Feel Sad so very strange.

‘The book is written in a voice of militant composure. Only simple sentences are allowed, and each one consists of a subject, a verb, and then an object, in that order. Pronouns are allowed for humans (though they’re used sparingly), but are almost totally verboten for products and things. Paradoxically, this work of extreme minimalism rejects all forms of shorthand, and most of the colloquial. A can of “sixteen ounce Pabst Blue Ribbon beer” does not, once introduced, ever become “a beer.” It is referred to only by its full title, and so it goes with all the movies, books, songs, bands, albums, foods, drinks, and countless other items which are consumed throughout. Though actually, now that I think about it, I realize that “countless” is the absolute wrong word—and this mistake of mine is just one example of why (and how) this book and its author are both trickier than they first seem. In fact, each and every person and thing in the book is counted and catalogued, in an accurate and comprehensive index at the back of the book. In this gesture, German achieves some unfathomable level of triple-reverse irony normally only possible in laboratory settings for mere seconds at a time. Kudos to him for pulling this off—and to me for having figured it out.

Here are some selections taken at random from the text:

“Robert is in a community center. There is music” (11).

“Robert is lying on Alison’s bed” (21).

“Robert plays the song ‘Chickfactor’ by Belle & Sebastian. He turns off his bedside lamp. He thinks ‘My job is okay.’ He is asleep” (35).

“The DVD is Lost in Translation. Robert turns on the DVD player. He puts Lost in Translation into the DVD player” (57).

“Robert walks into his apartment. He walks into his bedroom. He lies down. He is asleep. Robert is awake. He takes a bath. He reads the story “Community Life” by Lorrie Moore. Robert rides his bike to Whole Foods. He buys arugula, broccoli, pasta sauce, portabello mushrooms and a baguette. Robert rides his bike to his building. He makes dinner. He eats dinner. He makes a video of himself eating dinner. He washes dishes. Robert uploads the video to YouTube” (71-72).

‘Despite what he’d sometimes have you think, Robert likes being alive. (To German’s credit—he does let Robert say so, from time to time, so the characterization of Robert is by no means a total snow job.) Robert takes genuine pleasure in the food he eats and the music he listens to, Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” and Jean-Yves Thibaudet’s The Magic of Satie no less than CocoRosie and Lil Wayne. He smokes pot and gets drunk not because of his spiritual emptiness, though I’m sure that it helps, but because smoking pot and getting drunk are really fun things to do, especially when girls are around—which for him they usually are. (He has more friends and love-interests than the reader will be able to keep track of; another good reason for the index.) Even in his moments of deepest weakness—questioning his sexuality; throwing up on himself at a party; having any number of existential crises—Robert still seems somehow almost too good at being himself, which may or may not be the Patrick Bateman connection I was looking for.

‘If you’re waiting for me to render a definitive verdict on Eat When You Feel Sad, you might as well stop. I’m not going to, or else I already have. I can’t tell you whether I think this is a “great book” or whether it will “last” (though I’m going to keep both my galley and my first edition in good condition, just in case). What I can tell you is that it is a real book, wholly original and complete unto itself, and that within the admittedly narrow scope of its ambition, it has been almost faultlessly executed, and is therefore a remarkable success on its own terms. The world will have to make of it whatever it can. For my own part, though, I want to say that I very much enjoyed reading Eat When You Feel Sad, spending time in Robert’s weird calm company, and thinking about it afterward has brought me at least as much pleasure again. Let me put it another way: in the time I spent working on this review (the bulk of two afternoons, and a part of a third), I could have done a lot of things, several of which are due in the very near future, and at least two of which come with checks attached. But I chose to ignore all of those things, because I wanted to do this.’ — Justin Taylor

 

________
Shitty Youth

‘Zachary German’s web presence was one I once compulsively checked-on for updates, that I consistently enjoyed, intriguing and funny, and now his web presence is gone, mostly, because he wanted it to go away.

‘Adam Humphreys’s new documentary, Shitty Youth, which shares a name with German’s possibly defunct “radio show”/podcast, portrays German as a willfully difficult or potentially alienating person socially who is very attuned to style and taste, the author of one novel, Eat When You Feel Sad, which got good attention and praise, who has released almost no writing since, in part because much writing, including his own, is not up to his very high standards.

‘The documentary combines footage from German’s trip to Florida with Megan Boyle to visit Alec Niedenthal and read at a reading with footage of him doing the often-awkward, often-hilarious Shitty Youth show, preexisting videos of German deadpanly reading and deadpanly trying on a dress, as well as new interviews with people who know him or of him: Tao Lin, Steve Roggenbuck, David Fishkind, Marshall Mallicoat, and Brandon Scott Gorrell.’ — HTML Giant

___
Further

Zachary German @ Wikipedia
‘Eat When You Feel Sad’ @ goodreads
Zachary German’s Eat When You Feel Sad is a novel about a tone
No doubt many readers of Zachary German’s Eat When You Feel Sad …
German’s debut novel follows protagonist Robert, an emaciated vegan …
Zachary German’s debut novel, Eat When You Feel Sad, is blowing up all over …
Zachary German assuredly depicts young, modern life with his unique, minimalist prose …
TWENTY AND BORED AND ALIVE
QUICK QUESTIONS WITH ZACHARY GERMAN
Who Is Zachary German?
answers from Zachary German’s ask.fm
Zachary German, The Void Of New Literary Microcelebrity
ZACHARY GERMAN, CAFFEINATED ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, AND AN INTERVIEW
A ZACHARY GERMAN/JAMIE STEWART COLLABORATION WOULD BE EITHER BE REALLY EPIC OR REALLY SAD
BLAKE BUTLER INTERVIEWING (ZACHARY GERMAN)
Buy ‘Eat When You Feel Sad’

 

___
Extras

Zachary German’s “Eat When You Feel Sad”

“eat when you feel sad” by zachary german

Zachary German’s Eat When You Feel Sad

ZACHARY GERMAN WAVVES ROBERT EAT WHEN YOU FEEL SAD REVIEW INTERROGATION

 

____
Interview

 

3:AM: How much – in a percentage – is Eat When You Feel Sad autobiographical?

Zachary German: One hundred percent, or zero percent. It seems like we’re all mother nature’s children, in a way, and so my story is your story is [something]. I’m being serious…

3:AM: How much – in a percentage – are you happy with the finished novel?

ZG: Ninety five maybe. Sometimes I think about things that could have been made more consistent. I never went through it thinking about the climate, and trying to make the weather correlate with seasons in a way that would make sense. So I sometimes fear there may be some inconsistencies there. There are other things I probably could have done, times when I should have expanded on dialogue or something.

3:AM: How long have you been working on it?

ZG: I worked on it from autumn 2007 to autumn 2009, pretty much, I think. So two years. The majority of that time was spent editing – I had written most of the text within the first six months.

3:AM: Since its publication, is there a part/scene that you are unhappy with, and wish you could edit out/change?

ZG: No. I think all the scenes work. For the Bear Parade draft there was one scene in which the narration went into first person, which a few people seemed to like, but in the end it seemed too inconsistent, so I took it out. Nothing like that in the final draft.

3:AM: Stylistically it is consistent throughout, written in a very pared-down, minimalist way – “Robert turns off the light. Robert turns on the light. (etc)” – Did you find these stylistic choices ‘trapping’ or ‘freeing’? How did you come to choose this style to write in?

ZG: I found that style very freeing. I am easily overwhelmed when looking at a blank Word document, and it is a lot easier if I know exactly what I’m going to write. So I can just say “This is what happens” and write that down, in a very specific format. The part I like the most is the editing I do later, where I change the word “Robert” to the word “He,” or vice versa, things like that. Having very small, specific choices seems fun.

3:AM: Is the character of Sam actually Tao Lin? And in Shoplifting From American Apparel, is Robert you?

ZG: Oh… it’s just a novel, Chris.

3:AM: Okay, I know what you mean. But I also feel interested in knowing a little more about that ‘overlapping’ scene in both books – page 117 in Eat When You Feel Sad and page 78 in Shoplifting From American Apparel. Was there some sort of conscious decision made between you and Tao at some point to include this overlap between events/ conversation/ names etc? Or did it just occur naturally, due to the autobiographical natures of both books?

ZG: [question not answered]

3:AM: What question would you most liked to be asked in an interview like this?

ZG: What is your favorite Blink-182 song and why?

3:AM: How often – if ever – do you think of the title of your novel as an acronym?

ZG: Between 1/3 and 2/3rds of the time, probably. Like when I think with sounds it’s ‘Eat When You Feel Sad’ but when I think with pictures it’s ‘ewyfs.’ Not sure if that is true, makes sense, sorry.

3:AM: You said you enjoy the line-editing part most. Do you have a specific memory of a time/place when you felt especially happy with how your novel was going? If so, please describe it.

ZG: No real specific memories of feeling happy with how it was going, more memories of feeling it sucked but could easily be so much better. One morning I got up early and lied down in McCarren Park in Brooklyn and read a printed out draft all the way through, making notes and line edits, and feeling really good, like I was a genius who had just found a really shitty book that I could quickly change into something just terrific. Then I made the changes and probably the next time I read it all the way through I thought pretty much the same thing.

There were a number of drafts like that, where I felt each new set of edits was a revolution or something. As time went by that feeling got less and less, until it started to just seem like a pretty finished novel.

3:AM: Similarly, was there some point during the writing of the novel when you felt something along the lines of, ‘Oh no, this a complete fucking piece of shit, I’m going to give up on it’? If so, please describe.

ZG: Oh, well, I think I only ever really thought about giving up on it in fall of 2007, soon after starting it. I forget why exactly, I know I had a gmail conversation with Tao Lin about it so could probably look it up, but yeah I was just tired of doing it, and that’s when I asked Tao if he thought I should just make it a Bear Parade thing, and he said it could probably be both, and so that’s what happened.

3:AM: How do you think you and your writing would be perceived by the following people: a) a 26-year-old Italian/American female poet/blogger, who occasionally reads online journals like 3:AM, HTMLGIANT, but who also cites people like Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson and T.S. Eliot as influences.

ZG: Probably negatively, a woman named ‘Oriana’ who I believe roughly fits that description has already written an in-depth scathing review on Goodreads.com.

3:AM: b) an American, somewhat alcoholic, on-the-brink-of-retiring, divorced male English Lit. professor, who at one time in his life had the desire to write fiction but never did so.

ZG: Feel he would either disregard it completely or like it a lot.

3:AM: c) an English, 38-year-old male, who reads “everything from McEwen and Palanuk (sic) to greats such as Dickens and McNab (ha ha)” – note: he reviews DVD box-sets constantly on Amazon.

ZG: Feel he would get a real kick out of shit-talking it on Amazon/not like it.

3:AM: d) ‘someone’s mom’

ZG: Damn, depends on if it’s ‘my mom’ or not. ‘My mom’ would ‘say she liked it,’ if memory serves. Others’ moms would probably not read it all the way, I feel. If they did they would probably feel disturbed … in a bad way.

3:AM: Your author biography on the back page of the novel reads: ‘ZACHARY GERMAN was born on December 17th, 1988 at Shore Memorial Hospital in Somer’s Point, New Jersey. In 2006 he dropped out of high school. In 2007 he published his first short story. In 2008 he moved to Brooklyn. In 2009 he works as a dog walker on Manhattan’s Upper West Side and maintains two websites: thingswhatibought.com, and eatwhenyoufeelsad.com, which collects videos of people eating while feeling sad’. Do you think you could carry this third-person sentence-per-year biographical description on to provide a speculative description of the years of your life from 2010-20/30/40/whenever-you-get-bored?

ZG: [question not answered]

3:AM: What is your favourite Blink-182 song and why?

ZG: ‘Untitled’ off Dude Ranch. Seems really catchy/memorable with several distinctive sections. Confused as to why I wrote ‘with distinctive sections.’ I have good memories of running around the track in tenth grade gym class with Colin Gilmore singing this song. Seems apt to a number of situations, lyrically. Don’t like how there’s a weird talking thing at the end of the studio version though. That should make it lose points. So maybe ‘Josie,’ also off of Dude Ranch.

 

__
Book

Zachary German Eat When You Feel Sad
Melville House

‘Eat When You Feel Sad is a novel about Robert. Eat When You Feel Sad is a novel about a generation. Robert was born in the 1980s. He was born in the United States of America. In Eat When You Feel Sad, Robert feeds his cat, watches television and drinks beer. In Eat When You Feel Sad, Robert gets mustard on his clothes, rides a bicycle and talks on Gmail chat. Eat When You Feel Sad takes place in cars, houses, and apartments. Eat When You Feel Sad takes place in a school, a community center, and several Chinese restaurants. Eat When You Feel Sad is a selection of scenes from a life.

‘Eat When You Feel Sad will be found on a short shelf of short literary novels that includes Bret Easton Ellis’s Less than Zero and Tao Lin’s Eeeee Eee Eeee–where young people seek their own reflection, and face reality with humor and hope.’ — Melville House

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p.s. Hey. ** CAUTIVOS, Hi. It was pretty much like any other day for me. I hope yours was fun. Oh, I didn’t get any gifts, but that’s fine. I like your idea of next year’s purpose obviously. Thank you. ** Marc Vallée, Hi, Marc. Good to see you! Love back from the blog and me to you. ** _Black_Acrylic, I hope your Xmas was a great pleasure. I heard something good about ‘Men’, and I forgot about it. I think it’s on my ‘free/illegal’ site, so I’ll try it. ** Mieze, Thank you so much for paying tribute to Joe. I hope your Xmas did everything you wanted it to. ** Derek McCormack, Very, very Merry Xmas a teensy late to you, great maestro! Love, me. ** l@rst, Hi, L. Yeah, his passing was a great shock. Everyone did a beautiful job of speaking about him and all of his wily ways, I think. Hope your Xmas did the trick majorly. ** David Ehrenstein, Festive! ** Tosh Berman, I hope if you did anything for that particular holiday what you did made the day qualify as a holiday. ** Sypha, I learned a lot too. I only met him twice, but I am certainly grateful to have had even those encounters. Thank you so much for what you wrote. ** Misanthrope, Love to you who masterminded the whole tribute, if I’m not mistaken. I hope your Xmas was both chill and a hug monster. ** jade, Happy day after Xmas. There are those who go the academia route and do great things, obviously, but, yeah, I am or was with you, and no regrets. I hope your family treated your dinner with them respectfully. Cool about the Kenji stuff. I don’t know, it seems it could be quite interesting to meet those people, no? I get social anxiety too, but I just try to smile a lot and not say something dumb. Oh, I mean, anybody can come in here, and please tell your friend that he’s very welcome, and I’m easy and friendly, and he has nothing to worry about. He sounds cool, I’d like to meet him. Really cool stuff on your playlist. I’ll see if I can get it to play. Thanks! Everyone, jade has made you and me and us a sonic Xmas gift. I’ll let jade explain: ‘merry christmas you guys! i made a psychotic little holiday playlist 🤍 i’d do this on spotify or whatever but i don’t have premium and they add random stuff to your songlist when you don’t pay them. anyway, the thing plays backwards from the last post to the first! please scroll to the end of the thread for the start.’ Happy post-Xmas! ** Jamie, Hi, J. Thank you. No, didn’t get to a movie. Zac and I did hit the Xmas fair, but it was so packed and the line was so long for the dark ride that we put it off for another day. And I met and had coffee with a young theater maker who recently adapted ‘I Wished’ into a theater piece, and that was really interesting. Did Xmas satisfy whatever request you had regarding its form? Ha ha, pissing with a hard-on, talented! Mesmerist with his eyes on your prize love, Dennis. ** World❤Princess, Hi. Thank you for the good words about Joe. Oh, no problem, just knowing you upped the ending is exciting enough. It doesn’t sound cringey at all, btw. Darger, huh, that’s interesting. I think I get it. My Xmas was easy-peasy and largely uneventful and totally fine. I hope yours was the epitome of an event. ** Bill, Yes, I read that Kim Ki-duk died. Sad loss, for sure. Hm, well, it has been five years since the Kim Ki-duk post, so maybe it would be okay to revive it. I’ll look into it. Good or at least tolerable Xmas? ** Dominik, Hi!!! My weekend was totally fine. Was yours? Ideally without many gerbeauds? Love making every food item in the world taste like a French fry at 2:38 pm CET today for exactly 15 seconds, G. ** Jack Dickson, Jack! You old scoundrel! It’s quite amazing to see you, pal. I can’t imagine you will answer my question, which is how are you and what are you doing, but I’ll put that out there symbolically if nothing else. Eternal love to you no matter what! ** malcolm, Hi, malcolm. Yeah, it’s a very sad thing. Thank you for your kindness. Did you have a weekend that would qualify as Xmas-y to the person who writes the definition of the word ‘Xmas’ in the encyclopedias? ** rigby, Hey, rigster! No, thank you, thank you! Everyone, Due the great limitations of what WordPress allows me to do in this space, Rigby’s tribute to Joe Mills this past weekend did not look like like it was meant to look. If you would like to see it as it was originally intended — and I recommend this — click here to see it in its full glory. I did my buche a few days ago, but Zac made me my favorite food (cold sesame noodle) as a Xmas gift, so I stuffed my face with that. New Zealand? You’re in New Zealand? Holy shit! It sure looks like it’s pretty down there in the movies. Love, me. ** Steve Erickson, Nice that you were living in conditions that aligned so precisely with the title of what you were reading. How often does that happen? ** Paul Curran, Belated Merry Xmas to you down therewhere I believe the wish for merriness is even more belated. Thanks for the good words. The DLs did a beautiful thing. Here comes the motherfucking future, Paul. Are you ready? ** Right. The book I’m spotlighting today is one of my favorite novels of the last decade or so. In fact, I really wanted to publish it with my old imprint Little House on the Bowery, but Melville House beat me out. I feel like the novel isn’t talked about or read nearly enough at the current moment in time, so I decided to do the blog’s tiny part in trying to change that. See you tomorrow.