The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Galerie Dennis Cooper presents … The Art of the Miniature Golf Course

 

‘Like football, the origins of miniature golf (geometrically-shaped minigolf courses made of artificial materials) is a hotly contested subject. Some say it can be traced back to 9th century China, whilst others claim it was the Dutch a few hundred years later. The French say it evolved out of a game called pallemail, popular in the 15th century. The Scottish, meanwhile, claim its origin as The Ladies Putting Club, established in 1827 and attached to St. Andrews golf course for the sole use of women.

‘The concrete facts of the matter, though, only began to occur in the early twentieth century. The earliest documented mention of a course is in the 8th June 1912 edition of The Illustrated London News, followed by the first standardised minigolf course entering mass-production in 1916 in North Carolina. But it was in 1922 that the game was revolutionised when the artificial green – a mixture of cottonseed hulls, sand, oil, and dye – was invented, meaning it could be played anywhere, and in any weather. It could even be played on rooftops, and by the end of the 20s there were more than a hundred in New York City alone.

‘Minigolf struggled to find a footing on the West Coast, though, where bigwigs in Hollywood were getting concerned that it was becoming too much of a threat to cinema audience numbers – so much so that it’s said they included specific clauses in the contracts of their film stars forbidding them from being photographed playing the game. The onset of the Depression, however, put everyone’s putting plans on pause, with nearly all existing courses closed and demolished before the 30s had come to an end.

‘The first minigolf courses were not as we imagine them today. They were much more ramshackle affairs. The Depression led to old bits of piping and repurposed dirt being used as obstacles, and courses were often strategically placed nearby billboards or well-lit areas so people could continue playing into the night without course owners having to foot the bill. The rooftop courses themselves came about largely due to the fact that they could utilise the unused and unwanted real esate at the top of buildings. Halted construction sites were another favourite haunt of the adventurous minigolfer, who could incorporate left over building materials into unique combinations of obstacles. Even upscale restaurants got in on the action when their dining customers dried up, replacing tables with an altogether different course than they were used to serving. Minigolf was for many a means to make a little bit of money to help them get through the aftermath of the 1929 crash, adopting real estate that had lost its market value into so-called unreal estate.

‘Putting away remained all the rage throughout the 60s and into the 70s, even becoming a respectable sport with its own elite players raking in large sums of prize money (we’re talking hundreds of thousands of dollars.) Miss Putt-Putt beauty pageants became a thing. But towards the end of the 70s the game was becoming less of an attraction for serious golfing adults and more of a hangout spot for local teenagers and a day out for families. And then the interstate system came. Under construction since the 50s, the number of travellers using local highways was dwindling and roadside miniature golf courses began to fall quite literally to the wayside.’ — Freya Bainbridge

 

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Further

Mike Perry Has Always Been an Indoor Kid
A Couple of Putts
Aesthetics of Mini Golf: An Interview
Miniature Golf as Art
Q-and-A with Christina Vitagliano, Founder of Monster Mini Golf
a typographic miniature golf course by ollie willis
Build It And They Will Come: A Review of Minigolf Designer
Course Work: A Look At Innovative Miniature Golf Course Design
Architects design fantastical crazy-golf courses for Turf exhibition in Los Angeles
The Funeral Parlor With Mini-Golf
The Psychology of Mini Golf Course Design
Zaha Hadid and Paul Smith design holes for crazy golf course in London’s Trafalgar Square

 

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Extras


Miniature Golf – on the Atari 2600


Turn Your Backyard Into A Mini Golf Course


WEIRDEST MINI GOLF TOY EVER!


America’s Treasures – The story of Miniature Golf

 

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Aesthetics of Mini Golf
an interview with Tom Loftus and Robin Schwartzman

 

Jehra Patrick You’ve both also been to mini golf courses all over the United States. Are there areas where mini golf thrives more than others?

Tom Loftus Mini-golf is definitely most popular in warmer climates and dense tourist areas (i.e. Wisconsin Dells, Jersey Shore, Orlando). The mini-golf capitol of the US is Myrtle Beach, S.C. They have about 50 courses there and we’re planning to visit soon.

Patrick You have more or less a 5 star rating system, but what criteria do you look for in a good mini golf course?

Loftus I like unique holes or courses where all aspects of the design are well executed. We run into courses that are poorly maintained or they look nice but make for boring play all the time. You can tell which courses consider all aspects of the experience whether it’s a net to recover your ball from a larger water hazard or unique signage for each hole that is related to the actual play of the hole.

Robin Schwartzman For me it’s often about the details. Signage, overarching themes, waterfalls and rivers, ice cream and creative scorecards, just to name a few. But I agree with Tom – the course has to be well-maintained in addition to having a unique variety of plays.

Patrick I think that most mini golf goers enjoy that kitsch factor. Are there other ‘aesthetics’ for mini golf?

Loftus I appreciate courses that have less of a “real golf” feel. Numerous courses try to be a miniature version of a golf course. There are some cases in which it is pulled off so well and the play is challenging that can make the play and overall experience worthwhile. Unfortunately, there are many courses end up resembling the more stuffy and less engaging elements of your average golf course. It’s no surprise that a lot of those types of courses also include golf pro shops and driving ranges. I respect the game of golf but the reason I like mini-golf is that it more inclusive. It’s inexpensive to play but more importantly, mini-golf accommodates all ages and levels of play.

Patrick Can we talk about animatronics?

Schwartzman Many courses use motors for moving parts (windmills, doors, ferris wheels, etc.). As far as animatronics that move and talk, we’ve only really found these at the very touristy courses where there is a lot of local competition. Duffer’s has a crew of singing pelicans that greet you at the entrance, as well as a giant shark on the 19th hole. But the animatronics we’ve encountered just add decoration rather than interfere with the play of the hole.

Patrick Artist-designed mini golf has come a long way, what happens when artists and designers enter this traditionally kitsch territory?

Loftus The intersection of artists/designers with mini-golf is very exciting. It offers a fresh approach to a realm that can be a bit conservative and repetitive at times. Different elements of kitsch can be brought in to update your standard windmill, loop de loop or bridge.

Patrick Are these playable, or do they just look cool?

Schwartzman I think it’s still a mix of both. There are certainly artist designed holes that are super successful in terms of playability and creativity. However, there are still many that would never make it in a commercial course due to a lack of practicality and durability.

Loftus Problems arise when the play is not considered at all. The basic premise of moving a ball from a starting point to a hole has to remain in the back of the mind of the artist or designer.

Patrick What are pitfalls for design? Does Design with a capital ‘D’ ever compromise playability?

Loftus Design can comprises play and complicate the experience. A hole can be challenging and involve a lot of steps but it shouldn’t be confusing. One should know where each hole begins and ends. Fashion over function shouldn’t result in the lack of a hole or design flaws that prevent the possibility of getting the ball in the hole.

Schwartzman We’ve played some holes designed by architects at the National Building Museum course. While they were certainly unique, abstract and aesthetically interesting, many of them just didn’t play well. Surface has a lot to do with this. One hole was a fiberglass labyrinth. Its surface was so smooth that the ball wouldn’t stop rolling, making it impossible to score under par. Another hole was comprised of hundreds of small wood blocks cut at different heights with tiny gaps between them, which made for a highly irregular and uneven surface. Sometimes the ball would just stop between gaps and you couldn’t get it to roll smoothly.

 

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Show

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Can Can Wonderland Mini Golf (St. Paul, MINN)
The name is a nod to the building’s history, which once served as a sprawling complex that manufactured metal food cans for Carnation, Campbell’s Soup, and Del Monte, as the largest tin can factory in the country – American Can. Chosen from a pool of 200 proposals, each hole was designed by a local artist. The course begins with a State Fair-themed hole No. 1 and moves into a natural disaster hole, complete with a ground-shaking earthquake and floor-to-ceiling spinning tornado. From there, patrons putt through crazy obstacles ranging from Grandma’s 1970s living room to a giant hot pink wooly mammoth who arrived via Hot Tub Time Machine. Not to be without a Prince tribute, the course finishes with “The Mini-Golf Hole Formerly Known as the Longest Hole” which is, of course, purple.’

 

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Lost Duffer Miniature Golf, Charlotte, NC
The Lost Duffer Miniature Golf Course is one of the most unique facilities you will EVER visit! Did you know that at one time there were over 80 actual operating gold mines in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg area? It’s true… and you can get a taste of the first U.S. gold rush just by visiting this fun, family-friendly golf course. The course meanders through a replica of a 19th century mining camp complete with water wheel, and finishes up in the abandoned shafts of an old gold mine.

 

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Unknown

 

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Around the World Miniature Golf, Lake George, NY

 

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Unknown

 

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An exhibition called Adventureland Golf that has just opened at the Grundy Art Gallery in Blackpool features crazy golf course obstacles created by artists who include David Shrigley, Gary Webb, and Jake and Dinos Chapman. Can you guess which of them is responsible for a lifelike statue of Hitler’s head and torso, its arm poised to rise in a Nazi salute every time the ball goes through a hole between its legs? Take a bow, Chapmans. In a bit of national publicity that must be welcome to any exhibition opening in the middle of August, Michael Samuels of the Board of Deputies of British Jews has condemned the Chapman brothers’ piece, calling it “tasteless” and declaring that it has “absolutely no artistic value whatsoever”.

 

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Smash Putt Miniature Golf Course, Seattle
Smash Putt is the brainchild of two ex-Burners who took over an old warehouse in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood for a month and turn it into a 21-years-and-older indoor miniature golf course with some twists.


Shooting a golf ball at high velocity down the firing range. By using an air compressor-powered golf ball bazooka, we aimed for one of the three “holes in one”: either embed your ball in the far wall, clang off one of the hanging saw blades, or knock over 2X4s without ricocheting off the piano below. The plywood and green VW Bug front hood is for some protection from the ricocheting balls.


This ferris wheel revolved while we tried to get the ball into one of the hooked “seats” by either rolling the ball up a ramp or else landing on a small hole that then levitated the ball into the air through the wonders of an air blast. The ball would then circle around the wheel and be dumped onto a metal track (on the left) which wound around and down into the final hole.


This one was a challenge: hit the ball across the upper level while traversing two astro turf-covered record players that were spinning at 33 1/3 that also had either a crushed beer can or a microphone on the turntable to knock your ball into the “moat” below.


The “hole” here is the castle in the background. We putted our golf ball a certain distance up onto the catapult and then – in a team effort – someone else tapped a pedal with their foot and launched the catapult. If you made it over the ramparts, you were in the hole.



After arcing the ball along a curved alley, the ball then bounced randomly down an inclined pachinko peg board. Each of the three holes led to a separate power tool that ate away at the ball with its own unique style… Your random pachinko run resulted in being funneled through either the grinder, the router, or the circular saw. The balls would fling out at high speed, all chewed up around the edges.


And then to ensure the ball was truly “Smash Putted”, on the final hole 18 the ball was funneled down into a drill press, where the ball was held in place as a drill came down and cored the ball to destruction before flinging the ball out so we had a mangled souvenir to take home.

 

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Art Deco Mini Golf, Wilshire Blvd. and La Cienega Blvd. c. 1922, Los Angeles

 

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Subpar Miniature Golf, Alameda, CA
‘Each hole is designed to resemble a San Francisco Bay Area landmark; Golden Gate Bridge, Napa Valley Winery, Oakland Taco Trucks!’

 

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Steamboat Landing Miniature Golf, Naples, ME
Steamboat Landing is Maine’s premier miniature golf course. We are located in a shaded, woodland setting. A trip to Steamboat Landing is like taking a tour through the Pine Tree State and experiencing “…the way life should be.” This challenging course is based on theGolf photos rotating history of the area and includes many landmarks from around Maine. Our holes include a classic New England covered bridge, historic Fort Western, a scenic lighthouse, typical of the many that line Maine’s rocky coast, and a Maine Black Bear, sporting his trout catch between his teeth!

 

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Molten Mountain Mini Golf, Myrtle Beach, SC
Follow Lava Louie through the heart of the special effects filled Volcano, playing the most unique and challenging holes ever designed. Enjoy 2 levels of play while Lava Louie guides you along the path inside the active Volcano. Journey through the volcanic villages, lava pools, smoke stacks and ancient tribal artifacts.

 

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‘Church officials at England’s second oldest cathedral have provoked outrage after installing a nine-hole mini-putt golf course in the medieval nave. Officials said the idea was to attract more visitors to Rochester Cathedral, founded in 604 AD. Damian Thompson, former editor-in-chief of the Catholic Herald, tweeted, “St John Fisher, Bishop of Rochester, went to his death rather than watch his cathedral fall into the hands of greedy iconoclasts. I suspect he would rather see it lie in ruins than experience this fate.” Fisher was beheaded in 1535 after being found guilty of treason by not recognizing Henry VIII as Supreme Head of the Church of England.’

 

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Big Stone Mini Golf, Minnetrista, MN
‘After his hometown turned down his idea of a public course, Minnesota artist Bruce Stillman created a one-of-a-kind artist mini golf experience in his “front yard.” Between 2003 and 2012, Stillman built Big Stone, a 14-hole course on the Minnetrista property a little over 30 minutes west of Minneapolis near Lake Minnetonka. A mix of stone, metal, turf and other semi-organic materials form a course that looks nothing like the tourist town and seaside mini golf courses you might be familiar with. And not all of the obstacles stay still—any point, your game may be briefly interrupted by chickens roaming the course.’

 

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Lost City Adventure Golf, Nottingham, UK
‘The Lost City is an adventure for everyone and challenges you to ‘putt’ your skills to the test in our Inca-themed rainforest. Challenge your team to play amid a thunder and lightning storm on our “carpeted” greens, avoid the crush of our venomous 23 foot animatronic snake, risk the jaws of our snap happy alligator, and witness talking idols and rumbling walls.’

 

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Swingers, London
Set in an old warehouse near Old Street, Swingers London pop up concept brings with it two cocktail bars, mobile pizza making vans, macaroni and cheese, and 9 holes of golfing fun.

 

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Our hole, “Take Out the Clowns”, is comprised of space brain monsters who are harvesting the funny fluid of human clowns. And the effect this has on the gravity of circus peanuts. Amidst all of the chaos, the albino shouting gorilla is running amok, throwing banana peels at everything! Below the fairgrounds looms the space brain’s crystal cave, a kind of wine cellar of funny fluid. There are 3 ways to navigate this chaos. The first option is to go up the quarter-pipe and into the mother-ship to defeat the brains. and return to earth via a spiraling space beam. Or perhaps you’d rather take the secret passage through the quarter-pipe, and through the geo-dome. in pursuit of the escape albino gorilla. Or finally, you could take the ramp through the crystal cave. for a quick meal of moon-shine and circus peanuts with the hobo.

 

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Lexington Ice Center & Miniature Golf, Lexington, KT
The Lexington Ice Center & Miniature Golf features 54 holes of bible themed golf created in 1988. First 18 are Old Testament: first seven holes recall the seven days of creation (Seventh is easy, because on the 7th day God rested), then the Garden of Eden, Pharoah’s Frogs, and Noah’s Ark. Rugged Mt. Sinai is the toughest Old Testament hole. Next 18 are New Testament, starting at the Star of Bethlehem, and moving through the Last Supper’s Upper Room. 16, 17 and 18 are Faith, Hope and Love. The last 18 are the toughest — miracles, including Jesus feeding the multitudes, parting of the Red Sea, the pillar of smoke and fire, and the burning bush.

 

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Medieval Adventure Golf, Tamworth, UK
‘An 18-hole game of medieval-themed adventure golf.’

 

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Crazy Golf at Sutton Fields, Runcorn, Cheshire, UK
When we arrived we thought the visit was going to be another to add to the ‘unplayable’ files, or worse the course may have been completely removed. We spotted three of the holes and then, through an archway in the tall hedge spotted other holes. As the course layout looked unlike anything we’d seen before we had to have a game on it. We spoke to the man there, Mike, who told us about the site and that we were welcome to have a game. The course itself has obviously seen better days, but was still playable.

 

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Novelty Golf, Chicago

 

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Eindhoven collective La Bolleur will construct a mini golf course in Zona Tortona in Milan this April. The nine-hole course will be constructed from wood and include a clubhouse with bar.

 

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Cancun Lagoon Mayan Adventure Golf, Myrtle Beach, SC
The biggest mini-golf eye-popper in Myrtle Beach is the 50-foot-tall Mayan pyramid at Cancun Lagoon. It’s topped with frescoes of feathered priests hoisting putters over their heads. Unnaturally blue water spills from terraces amidst palm trees and stone heads. The structure is supposed to be the ancient Mayan Temple of Ek’-Wayeb-Chak (or Chak), the god of lightning and thunder. This hot-tempered god who can only be appeased by playing the ritual Mayan game — of miniature golf. Twin courses weave in- and out-of-doors, and every half-hour a thunderstorm erupts inside the pyramid, a manifestation of the god’s impatient wrath, which drenches the golf course and the players.

 

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A mini-golf course atop a Tianjin, China train station.

 

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Coal Country Miniature Golf, Fairmont, WV

 

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Indoor miniature golf course c. 1935, YMCA, Warren, PA

 

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Rube Goldberg contraption cooked up by the owner of Lilliputt mini golf course in Grand Lake, CO.

 

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Various holes designed by visual artists

 

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‘Noodle Delight, one of the signatures holes on a new fantasy miniature golf course at Mission Hills in China, will see players attempt to hit a green surrounded by a noodle-style hazard complete with chopsticks.’

 

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Lake George Mini Golf, NY

 

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Unknown

 

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Goofy Golf, Panama City Beach, Florida
Lee Koplin built his masterpiece, Goofy Golf, in Florida; it opened in the summer of 1959. It was miniature golf, but it was also a crazy visionary art theme park. Lee advertised Goofy Golf as “A World of Magic.”

 

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Mayday Golf, North Myrtle Beach, SC

 

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Fantasia Gardens, Orlando, FLA
‘The Mini golf place is located on the other side of the road that the water taxi drops you at the swan hotel you must walk past the pool and small beach and across the road once you are past the pool you will see signs showing you how to get to Fantasia mini golf. We did not have reservations and we had to wait about 30 minutes.’

 

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Unknown

 

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Turda Saltmine Miniature Golf, Romania
‘Descend an astonishing 120 metres to the Turda Salt Mine which adds new meaning to the phrase a ‘hidden gem’. Opened to the public in 1992, get up to all kinds of activities here from riding the world’s only underground Ferris wheel, to playing a game of mini-golf across 6 trails.’

 

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KISS Monster Mini-Golf, Las Vegas
In addition to 18 holes of rock-’n’-roll-themed madness, the venue boasts scarily accurate animatronic versions of the band, the world’s largest KISS memorabilia store and a wedding chapel.

 

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Rosies Diner Mini Putt, Michigan
‘Rosie’s Diner was originally known as The Silver Dollar Diner, located in Little Ferry, NJ. It opened in the 1940’s and became famous as the backdrop for the 1970’s Bounty Paper Towel commercials that featured the character Rosie the waitress. The original owners, Ralph Corrado and his son, Ralph Corrado, Jr. renamed the diner after the commercials aired. In 1993, they built the diner-themed mini golf course behind the trio of diners.’

 

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Par-King Skill Golf, Lincolnshire, Illinois
Par-King comes off as a Disney World attraction that somehow landed in the Midwest. Beautifully rendered hole features include a looping rollercoaster that gives balls a crazy ride, a replica Willis Tower inside of which balls ride an elevator to the top, and two giant, nonstop spinning roulette wheels.

 

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Unknown c. 1924, West Palm Beach, FLA

 

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Dino Park Mini Golf Phuket, Thailand

 

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Bompas and Parr Crazy Golf, London
Each hole is a London landmark made out of a cake or jelly looking material. Sadly you won’t be able to take a bite of the gherkin or munch on Big Ben but you might just get a hole in one. You can book ahead for the golf (£6 a pop) or just turn up during the day.

 

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I ran a quick workshop with some folks to integrate the PicoCricket robotics kit into a cardboard putt putt course. We built some creative holes that brought in the audience via interactive robotic additions.

 

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Justin Bieber playing mini-golf in a Slayer t-shirt


 

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Ahlgrim Acres, Chicago
It’s the secretly infamous, miniature golf course Ahlgrim Acres, in the basement of Ahlgrim Funeral Home. Originally built for their kids back in the 60s, the 9 haunted holes (complete with spooky music) are open to the public; when they’re not conducting services, that is.

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Oscar 🌀, Howdy! It must have boomeranged back here again because Paris is clear, chilly, and no sight of watery clouds. Paris is a big rain magnet too. Cool, I’ll look for your email when it slips in. Even though I’ve been a Francophile since I had workable brain cells, and even though I’ve lived here for ages now, my French is gruesomely terrible, so, no I’ve never read Rimbaud in French, which is embarrassing. Or rebellious, to put a positive spin on it. Thanks about the film. It’ll get done. Where are you in Scotland? I’ve only been to Glasgow and Edinburgh, so I’m a basic. ** _Black_Acrylic, Well, thank you very kindly, sir. ** Charlie Zacks, Hi, Charlie. Really good to get to meet you. Yes, sure, please about the literary magazine. I’d love to read it. If you mean send by post, I can give you my mailing address if you write me at denniscooper72@outlook.com. Thank you so much for the really kind words. I … don’t know if I’ve ever seen a nude horse hoof, but I’m having an interestingly edgy time trying to imagine it. Thanks a lot for coming in here. Best of the best. ** Charalampos, Hi. ‘Absences répétées’ might be my favorite of his. I had a dream of being a filmmaker in my teens and that did happen in the far future, so chase that dream, but I guess be patient. Hi from the imminent Olympics site Paris. ** Bill, Hi. He’s very interesting, Gilles. Worth the time. Yes, it’s been a very long time since Hugo Blame popped in here. I have no idea what’s become of him, and I don’t have any means of contact either. Let me know if you discover anything or find him. I think the only Yang film I’ve seen is ‘The Terrorizers’. I remember liking it okay but not much about it other than it not being what I’d hoped its title portended. ** Justin D, Hey, Justin. Thanks. I’m still not sure if I’ll get to talk with the friend of George, I hope so, but she sent me a couple of photos of him that I’d never seen, which is great. I think my favorite Gilles is ‘Absences répétées’. I really like ‘Wall Engravings’ too. What’s news with youse? ** Dominik, Hi!!! Planetariums have really good exterior charisma. Their insides tend to be pretty predictable. But that’s okay. Nothing’s perfect. I’m waiting to see if or, hopefully, when George’s friend will talk. It’s up to her. I’m just hoping it happens. Was it cheese stink? My refrigerator stink always seems to be trackable to cheese. Love going back in time and giving William Shakespeare a skateboard, G. ** Dev, Yeah, I’m even jealous of myself. I’ve meant to get ‘The Tree of Forgiveness’, and now you’ve closed the deal. Thanks. I’m excited. Maybe if you ever take a trip to Japan, which I extremely recommend doing if you haven’t, your Japanese will grow back at least a little. Whenever I go to Holland, I get this kind of Dutch language flashback, which is interesting. Thanks, pal. ** Steve, I’m glad that emergency got solved, shit. And that you’ve relaxed. Stay strong through what sounds some hard times ahead. Ugh, so sorry, my friend. ** Catachrestic, Oh, okay. Just to say that Siegfried and Roy IMAX thing was incredible, in 3D, primitive cgi up the wazoo, a serious acid trip of a ridiculous thing. I think there is still a concerted mission to save the manatees, it’s just not trending like it used to. As a literal child of the 60s, that makes sense. I had an X-Files addiction phase. I even went to an X-Files convention. The Smoking Man was the only special guest. I was really disappointed when he revealed that his cigarettes were clove. Marx as a pulp author: ooh, that’s a thought/premise. I’m percolating. Well, George’s friend has yet to commit to actually speaking with me. She said she was reading ‘I Wished’, and maybe after getting further into it, she was, like, Nope. ** seb 🦠, Well, hello, green blotched pal. I’ve been okay enough, thanks. The new boyfriends sounds both exciting and complicated, which is a combination I naturally chase, so congrats so far. Two books a week is very good. My hat’s off. And re: your knowledge of extremely obscure facts about space. If I was sitting across a couple of coffee cups from you, I’d ask you to spill. Related words, not the coincidental coffee. No, on the stills, I just google and grab and save them in a file and then upload/stack them up. Internet Archive is great for films. It’s really annoying for books/text. Your return was highly valuable, yes. The film is days way from being completely finished, and we’re just waiting for our fucking producers to greenlight the last work bit. All’s good. Big up re: seeing you. ** Uday, Ah, Gracie Mansion. That takes me back. Gilles’s films are hard to find. I think they’re on DVD here in France but with no subtitles. Based on how weird people get about my books’ interest in its characters’ internal organs and bones, I would say that’s not a general interest. Strange, no? No, I’ve never thought about how people put on their clothes but what an interesting to think about. I’m going to start doing that today. Wow, that could be very useful to write about. You’ve given me a ton to think about too. Mutual congratulations to us! ** Okay. I haven’t done a post about miniature golf in a really long time, so I made a post that considers their physical builds as possible artworks for you and me. See you tomorrow.

13 Comments

  1. Dominik

    Hi!!

    I really hope you get to talk to her! Maybe she wouldn’t have contacted you if she weren’t open to talking, right? Fingers really tightly crossed!

    Yes, indeed, it was cheese stink. We found a tiny piece of feta cheese hiding in a corner of the fridge. It wasn’t in a friendly state.

    Haha, alright, I’d love to see Shakespeare try love’s skateboard! Who knows, maybe he’s a natural talent! Love moving into the Dino Park Mini Golf Phuket, Od. (This is such a great, great post again!)

  2. _Black_Acrylic

    Over the road from me, we’ve got a “crazy golf” thing called Puttstars. Maybe I should check it out one of these days?

    Just saw the 2023 UK film How to Have Sex about 3 teen girls going on a boozed-up holiday after their exams. Was expecting something like Spring Breakers but this is a bit more nuanced than that, with a superb performance from the debutant Mia McKenna-Bruce. Can definitely recommend this one.

    • Justin D

      I really loved ‘How to Have Sex, too. A truly devastating performance by Mia. By the end of the film, I felt like I’d had the wind knocked out of me.

  3. Justin D

    Hi, Dennis! You know, I think my default concept of mini golf courses is tacky, but fun. Your curation has changed my mind. Some of them are quite artful, indeed. Hopefully you will get your chat with George’s friend. Not sure how she could read ‘I Wished’ and not be moved. Cool that you got some never seen photos. Those are priceless. Not much going on with me. I’ve been tasked with checking in on my parents’ house whilst they’re away. They have this big, old fountain at the front of their house that normally has two Koi fish, but one of them died recently, so I’ve been thinking about getting the recently bereaved one a companion. This leads me to think of the Nirvana song “Something in the Way” in which Kurt sings about it being OK to eat fish because they don’t have feelings. Which is beautiful/poetic, but not true. 🐠

  4. Sypha

    Ha ha, Dennis, you and your mini-golf obsession. I always think of you when me and my family go mini-golfing up in Maine every summer. Speaking of which, I’m charmed you had Steamboat Landing up there. It’s crazy, I remember playing there in the 90s (back when my aunt would rent a cabin every summer and we’d go up there for a week), so when my family started going back to Maine annually around 2011, I was surprised to see the place was still open and virtually unchanged. Another nice place we’ve more recently been hitting up while over there is Pirate’s Cove in North Conway, New Hampshire… I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures I’ve posted on Facebook of that one. Really nice place, with two 18 hole courses, that really runs with the whole pirate theme.

  5. Steve

    I’m thoroughly burnt out and exhausted. I talk to my dad every day, but I’ve come to dread it, due to what I may learn. I have also felt like I have a cold for the past month, which is dragging me down. I’m finally seeing a doctor about that next week.

    What was the X-Files convention like?

    On a brighter note, I’m going to a late night screening of I SAW THE TV GLOW this evening. I have to write a review tomorrow. I loved WE’RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLD’S FAIR, so this should be a lot of fun.

    On another bright note, I’m enjoying Avalanche Kaito’s TALIKATUM. They’re a punk band fronted by a griot from Burkina Faso, with traditional African rhythms alongside loud guitars. It’s an “I can’t believe it’s not Nyege Nyege Tapes” album!

    What are your plans for the weekend? I need to stay in and write tomorrow, but depending how I feel Sunday, I’ll be seeing Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s PASSION at Lincoln Center then.

  6. Misanthrope

    Dennis! I love planetariums, btw. And I like these mini golf courses. Though I find I get quite bored after the first couple holes on a mini golf course. 😛

    Oh, the chimpmunk cheeks have turned into one huge CHEEK. So, the surgery went well. They were like, okay, you should eat. Something soft. But get something on your stomach. He texts me he’s at McDonald’s. I’m like, okay, get a milkshake or a sundae. He’s like, I just ate a burger. For some reason, his dad thought he should eat a McDouble because the meat would be soft.

    His left jaw swelled to immense proportions yesterday. I thought he was exaggerating until he sent me a pic. Everyone in my family was like, Jesus Christ!

    He did pick out some hamburger from the place in his mouth last night. Was supposed to go back to the dentist today if it was still swollen but his parents are like, you’re better, just take some motrin. WTF?

    He said the pain has finally subsided and the swelling is down a little bit.

    What the fuck is wrong with people? Ugh. Anyway, fingers crossed it goes down and he’s fine by Monday or so.

    I told him I’d take him if he needed me too.

    Have a good weekend. I won’t be doing anything but the gym and some writing. 🙁

  7. Harper

    Hi Dennis. I’m very much not a morning person. Obviously, it’s very nice to drink coffee and look out of the window on a calm morning, but I don’t properly wake up until the afternoon. I’m generally more relaxed in the evenings and have less distractions. I’m also just more inspired in the night. And I like the feeling of knowing the everyone else is asleep, I don’t know why but it comforts me. Also, I got around to starting Pynchon’s ‘Vineland’. I’m liking it so far, obviously it’s the one that got a very mixed reaction. It’s very funny at points but has the signature Pynchon paranoia. It’s not as experimental as some of his other books but it’s still fairly dense in certain passages. The use of extensive pop cultural references is well executed. I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done.
    Also, got a new bookshelf and spent all day yesterday re-organizing books. I actually really enjoy that whole process of categorizing etc. It’s probably the same reason that I love making lists. I made a list of my 100 favourite albums the other day, that’s the kind of distraction that’s very deadly for my writing. It’s research!

  8. Dev

    Cool, let me know what you think of The Tree of Forgiveness when you get around to it! I’ve never been to Japan, despite several attempts. I got into a study abroad program at Waseda when I was a teenager, but my overprotective parents pulled me out at the last minute, and I had a job in Utsunomiya that was supposed to start in 2020, until COVID shut that down. I hope to go eventually though. Where in Japan have you visited? Had some excellent Memphis BBQ for lunch, so today was a great day in my book. Hope you have as great a weekend!

  9. Uday

    Maybe I should try to learn French again, if only for the cinema. People put their clothes on in such a variety of ways and it’s impossible not to notice when you’re backstage before a play or in the swimming locker room. All sorts of scrunchers and sliders and jumpers and don’t even get me started on the people who shimmy around. I feel like clothes and how they interact with each other/how people interact with them is cool because it’s simultaneously personal and public facing. Anyway, Mini Golf! I’m currently giggling in a fit of immaturity at the scrotally shaped course and it’s annoying my roommate so I’m going to toodle off to do some calculus. Cheers.

  10. darby🥛🤨

    Oh wow you’ve recollected a vague memory of when I did one of these for a school project long ago. We chose to do a CandyLand Course, with poorly made lollipops the ball would go through. I think there was even a donut the ball could go through.
    Hey this is so funny! I was actually one of those unfortunate kids who were plucked from their classes at eight, and placed in a circle for some overly passionate woman to tell us how “Gifted” we were. It was crazy dude, talk about giving a kid a god complex haha. My friend actually said that’s that happened to them.
    I think that’s when Adderall was this debated topic but I’m not sure I was only an inattentive hyperactive child. I used to rub my neck with scarfs until I got rashes, back against the space heater, cuz I was just so damn hyper and restless.
    Were you a weird child? I think we all were. I know I was so obviously neurotypical. I put my Barbie dolls in water cups and then some.

    Im going to make tofu for dinner which ive never done. Got any ideas of what I should make? What do u eat it with Tofu?/how

    c Ya (also I hate milk

  11. Catachrestic

    Ah yeah, your mini-golf thing! I’ve been as a kid on family vacations, it was fun enough. Many of these in the post are very weird and interesting. I have an artist friend who at one point was worried about her work being perceived as whimsical, and I attempted a defense of whimsy based on weird elements like this in your work and maybe also in the work of artists like Mike Kelley and Paul McCarthy. Maybe we should go mini-golfing when you’re in town, there’s that one in Sherman Oaks I’ve never been to. What a hilarious memory that would be in retrospect.

    Oh nice, you’re an X-Files fan! Yeah, there’s something about that show that keeps pulling me back in. It’s not just the great theme song/opening animation. I have a complicated friendship with someone very faraway and my birthday gift to them this year was an empty pack of Morleys by the company that made the props for the original show. I recommended they get some herbal cigarettes to round the package out to be consistent with the show lore.

    Iirc the actor who plays the Cigarette Smoking Man does smoke a real cigarette in the pilot episode and maybe one episode after, and the story makes sense, he was a former smoker who didn’t want to get re-addicted and he was playing a character who’s smoking in literally every scene he’s in. I guess I didn’t find it too disappointing, and anyway, can you imagine another actor playing that role?

    Now that I mention it, I can imagine you playing that role. A gay remake of the X-Files, with a twink Scully. Maybe, along the lines of the famous “Scully effect” for women, it would inspire twinks to pursue careers in STEM fields, which could be a game-changer. It wouldn’t be possible to neatly transpose the whole “Scully gets pregnant” story arc, of course, but I’m sure your character would at least try. 😀

  12. Oscar 🌀

    Hey Dennis!! 🪃🪃🪃

    Rebellious seems like a good spin to put on it! And that’s got to be a pretty French value, too, right? Something like that.

    Based in Glasgow! I’ve always thought Glasgow is like Edinburgh’s cool, fun cousin — not that Edinburgh isn’t nice or anything, but all the fun stuff tends to happen over here. Did you like it when you were here?

    By the way, I just started reading The Sluts. Had to steal the dust jacket from a random hardback I have so I can read it in public hahaha

    Hope your Saturday is off to a good start!! Wishing you good weekend vibes :^)

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