* (restored)
(July 20, 1971 – November 16, 2000)
(Really good introduction to DJ Screw: the VBS documentary “Screwed in Houston”)
(Selection from The Guardian article “DJ Screw: from cough syrup to full-blown fever” by Jesse Serwer, Nov 11, 2010)
When he died, 10 years ago next week, DJ Screw’s druggy, ultra-slow sound was a regional craze. Two decades on and his influence can be felt from chart hip-hop to Swedish electronica.
Sometime around 1990, a young hip-hop DJ named Robert Earl Davis, Jr decided music was just too fast for his liking. Using the pitch controls on his turntables, he began slowing records to preternaturally slow speeds, augmenting his mixes with smooth cuts and slurred commentary that sounded as if delivered from beyond the grave. Davis, better known as DJ Screw, wasn’t the first DJ or producer to purposely pitch down music for effect, but he preserved the glacial pace throughout his 100-minute mixtapes, developing a uniquely psychedelic, ethereal sound that would come to be known as chopped and screwed, or, simply, Screw music.
Screw’s emergence in his native Houston, Texas coincided with a surge there in the popularity of drank (otherwise known as “lean,” “syrup” or “barre”), a mixture of prescription-strength cough syrup and soda that can create a feeling of sedated euphoria when taken in large quantities. He and the Screwed Up Click (SUC), the loose-knit collective of Houston rappers who freestyled on his mixtapes, referenced the purple-hued concoction so often that their music and their drug of choice become as closely associated with one another as acid rock and LSD. When Screw, just 29 at the time, died on November 16, 2000, from what medical examiners said was an overdose of codeine – drank’s active ingredient – that connection was forged for good.
“The first thing [people] think of when they hear Screw’s name, or Screw music in general, is the syrup sippin’,” says Cedric “ESG” Hill, a Houston rapper affiliated with the Screwed Up Click. “That’s just the culture down here and a way of life. It’s not that everyone who listened to Screw sipped syrup.”
“He had a multitracker, which allowed you to really slow that pitch down,” Scott says. “I thought it was a little bit too much. The first time I popped a tape of his in the deck, I tried to push stop because I thought it was being chewed up.”
Although it is often presumed that Screw music’s slow pace is meant to simulate the drowsing effects of drank, Davis said in a 1995 interview with Rap Pages magazine that it was marijuana, and a desire to hear lyrics more clearly, that inspired his process. “When you smoking weed listening to music, you can’t bob your head to nothing fast,” he explained.
The earliest Screw tapes were made specifically for friends, who would commission him to make mixes for special occasions such as birthdays or funerals. Typically, he remixed new hip-hop tracks – he loved west coast gangster rap such as Too Short and Spice 1 – but he’d also throw in the odd throwback, such as Mama Used to Say, the early 80s hit by UK funk singer Junior, or Love TKO by Teddy Prendergrass. Eventually Screw’s “grey tapes” – they were distributed on grey Maxell cassettes, not CDs – grew to include freestyles by local rappers and, sometimes, whoever happened to be at his studio when he was making a mix. As his legend grew, first in Houston and then neighboring areas of Texas and the Gulf Coast, customers began travelling to his house to purchase their own copies of his tapes, which he sold for $10 apiece.
“We would just ride up to the man’s house, and when the gate would come open, that would mean he’s open for business,” says Screwed Up Click rapper Joseph “Z-Ro” McVey. “You could come get a Screw tape.”
Fat Pat – Tops Drop
Big Moe – Just a Dog (At the Club)
Big Moe – Sippin Codeine
Screwed Up Click – Pimp Tha Pen
DJ Screw – Inside Looking Out
Scarface ft. Too Short – Fuck Faces (Finer Things)
2Pac – High Till I Die
Lil Troy – Wanna be a Baller
Lauryn Hill – Nothing Even Matters
PLUS: 4 CONTEMPORARY SONGS STRONGLY INFLUENCED BY SCREW MUSIC, ORIGINATING FROM THE MIDWEST, CANADA, SWEDEN, AND NEW YORK, RESPECTIVELY
SALEM – Trapdoor
Drake – November 18th
Fever Ray – Concrete Walls
A$AP Rocky – Purple Swag
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*
p.s. Hey. ** jay, Hi! Thanks. Dying to make the film accessible to you, for sure. I think I didn’t read ‘Blue of Noon’ until the Cycle was already pretty planned out and in process. Degraded echo, lovely. I’ll take that. Thanks, pal. What’s your day or even weekend looking like? ** Charalampos, Hey. I started reading some books that don’t come until this fall mostly. I wonder if that amazing used bookstore still exists. I can’t remember its name but I remember where it is. I’ll have to go up there and check, I guess. Hi back from strangely and wonderfully spring-like Paris. ** Misanthrope, Hey, dude, good to see you, natch! Oh, man, so sucks about the office full time return. What a load of crap. It does sound like he’s using Trump’s fascism as his excuse? Get him fired? There must be a way. Man, so sorry about that. And, yeah, get the MRI. And don’t wear any heavy metal bling when you walk into the room. Happy we’re both back. ** Vincent, Hi. Oh, he renounced Germany. Okay, that’d do it. Still, how petty. Similar to Bernhard and Austria? Except I think Austria is reluctantly embracing Bernhard now? I think RT is listed on MUBI because they co-sponsored the festival where the film premiered. I don’t know of any plans for them to host it. They did host/stream our last film for a few weeks. Hm, I’ll ask our producer. Thanks for wondering. What’s new with you? ** _Black_Acrylic, Oh, right, about the Anger. For sure about his musical picks. ‘Kustom Kar Komandos’ is maybe the best music video ever. ** Carsten, Indeed. That sprawl and subtextual (dis)organisation and all that negative space of LA shaped me and my writing permanently. Lucky me. Mm, yeah, maybe submit it sans photos if you’re okay with that format and then spring the illustrated version as a possibility? Safer, probably, unless the press is already flexible on that front? RT is in, I think, three upcoming festivals at the moment, but I can’t say which ones publicly quite yet. And hopefully more on the way soon. Thanks! ** Nicholas., Um, actually, commenters reading others’ comments and expanding on something someone else referenced is an ideal outcome for me. Same as when people do that with the posts or my own comments. It makes me feel like the blog is open and alive. Anyway, so I guess I disagree. I’m sorry it irked you, but it’s always worked like that here. There are some sites out there that are concentrated on people sharing their sex stories and proclivities. Breeding.zone is one I know. And I’m sure there are many others. But I’m being contrary and I don’t mean to be. Sincerely upbeat day to you. ** Sypha, Nice. Okay, understood about those Anderson films. Yeah, I get that. I personally am really into ‘one and done’ films re: actors. In Zac’s and my films, we always start from scratch so the performers are immediately the characters with no prior associations. In that sense, I guess they’re like novels, although I know there are novels where characters become recurring, like detective novels and so on. Anyway, yeah, interesting. ** Tosh Berman, Cool, happy you went for that book. And Atlas is so reliable. No, I don’t know that Jahnn book, but it does obviously sounds like a good place to start. Let me know what you make of it. ** julian, Hey. That Burton makeover just totally ruins everything that’s beautiful about that ride. Sad that so many people prefer it. What a world. I think you’ll really like Rome maybe. The central part is very concise. You can walk everywhere even more than in Paris, which feels like a small town when you live here but is technically vaster than you think. Could transgressive fiction be making a comeback? Would be kind of the perfect time maybe. My American and UK publishers are republishing my early books right now or soon, and maybe that’s why. Of course I’m very happy you like ‘TD,P’. It’s pretty hard to find, but there’s a long interview with Antoine Monnier done not long after ‘TD,P’ where he talks about how much he hated making the film. It’s pretty rancorous. Gosh, I love Bresson so much that it’s hard to recommend particular ones, but ‘Four Nights of a Dreamer’ is great and from the same era. “Mouchette’ is incredible, but it’s very bleak, be warned. I love ‘Lancelot du Lac’, his only period film. I mean you kind of can’t go wrong with Bresson. ** Uday, Me too. When I was a kid I had this largish wind up toy that was a monster made out of rocks, and it walked around and red lights flashed in its ‘eyes’, and when it talked it sounded like rocks clacking together but you could understand what it said. That was pretty cool. Thanks for the ClubChalamet links. I’ll visit them. I have vague ideas of writing a fiction about Chalamet-like guy, and that could very helpful, so thank you! ** Hugo, Hi. ‘The Sot-weed-factor’ is a good one too, yes. Wow, amazing if you could get that grant. That’s pretty sweet money for a writer. I never thought I’d actually make films when I was young, and here we are. Chase your excitement always. It’s the truth. Zac’s out of town but I’ll hug him for you when he returns. Hugs from me to you and maybe even from him. ** Thomas Moronic, Hi, Mr. T! Great, yes, I should definitely be here when you’re here, so hit me up and let’s hang big time. Awesome! ** Darby 🦇, Hi, D, I’m good. It’s not raining today and it’s also not remotely hot, yum. Well, you mean something to me, but I’m halfway across the world so my radar is probably too weak to make an impact. I hope that lady advocated for you passionately and vociferously. I’m too impatient to like cooking food. I’m a microwave guy. And I usually even stand by the microwave while it’s cooking tapping my fingers impatiently. Nice: the link. I need suggestions because I never read since science fiction books. You could show that picture, yes, of course! Enjoy Primus. I hope they play ‘My Name is Mud’. ** HaRpEr //, My parents were very not into me being a writer and tried every trick to dissuade me and, well, tough beans, mom and dad. Yeah, if you can find an OnlyFans vet to talk to, that would be optimal, obviously. I really have no idea how that works: the money earning aspect. It’s true that the more you publish, the more attractive you are to venues. I did a bunch of journalism for some years, and most of them let me do that only because of my books being known. ** Alice, Hi, Alice. Cool about the successful friend meet up. And especially about your and her wavelength mingling and co-inhabiting. Did you get any clothes? I know ‘Serial Experiments Lain’, yes. It’s a goody. I should revisit it. What made you think ‘Queer’ might be especially up her alley? ** Alistair, I’ve only gone fishing once in Georgia with an insistent friend, and we didn’t catch anything, and I don’t think the river had anything in it to catch. But good to know what fishing is like. Yeah, I do like being crowded in with a bunch of people at music shows for some weird reason. I don’t like socialising with crowds at all, but there’s something about being in a crowd that are all facing one direction and who barely even know you’re standing next to them and with whom you share a single, very simple goal (i.e. getting pleasure from the same artist/band) that I find kind of moving or something. Corning Museum of Glass: no, but I’ll look it up. I hope you get to go. ** Steeqhen, By 4:47 a.m. I’m almost ready to wake up. I don’t think there are any forts in Paris, but maybe former forts that are now clothing stores or something. I don’t think ‘SH3’ is on Nintendo. I don’t think any of the ‘SH’ games are, actually. Wtf?! Nice you enjoyed 7 and got to talk to them. Yeah, he/they are super nice and just wonderful. Cool. ** Right. I thought I might presumably surprise today you by reviving this rather old post about DJ Screw made by the fine fella Chris Dankland. That’s that. See you tomorrow.
Now available in North America 
Hi Dennis, just jumping in to say that I think it’s funny you’ve been to diggerland (from your comment to someone yesterday)?
Hi 🙂
I am pretty sure the bookstore we are talking about is The Book Exchange. Check and tell me if that is right
More elusive for me now is this arcade bookstore I bought amazing books for just two euros but I will try very hard and find it when I go there again.
I totally get loving being in the crowd in concerts the feeling it gives you is very complex and interesting
I often have images of me and my look in such crowd and cheering sounds throughout the day for myself to pick me apart from the crowd violently and lift me up, I mean when I am completely alone in room
And sometimes they are followed naturally by echoes of the intro of Over The Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox by Guided by Voices
Also PinkPantheress has a song I love called True Romance with audience sounds and says
“I’m in the crowd can you see my hands”
Very uplifting images and sounds
Hi from as usual Crete Chania
Cough syrup & slow hip-hop, wow… this is the kind of subculture I would’ve never heard of anywhere else.
Congratulations on the festival acceptances! Looking forward to the official announcements.
Oh I’m only submitting my chapbook in pure text form. I’m not married to the illustrated version. If one of the five publishers I’ve sent it to so far decides to pick it up I may pitch them the draft with photos, but we’ll see. I just want the poems published, that’s the priority. The photos I can always feature as a bonus on my blog. Plus my audio performances of them on YouTube already come with a still frame.
Watched two-thirds of this Netflix doc Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 last night & perversely enjoyed the hell out of it. I don’t know how familiar you are with the Woodstock reboot debacle, but it was basically a case of corporate greed milking these kids for every penny while neglecting everything from proper management to infrastructure. That, combined with 90s (music) culture’s very violent, pissed-off, nihilistic undercurrent led to quite the riot. From a sociopolitical POV it’s fascinating, & it strikes me that the rage these kids unleashed at a corporate world sapped of all meaning hasn’t been dealt with at all in the two and a half decades since, & it’s seeped into every corner of public life now.
While I can respect DJ Screw’s sonic vision, my own preference as I slide into middle age seems to be for the faster BPMs of Techno to start the day. I have a subscription to SoundCloud that I wake up to each morning. Their algorithm seems to pick out plenty of Berlin residents doing interesting things. Cough mixture was never my drug of choice, maybe that’s it?
Will give that Screwed In Houston doc a watch this afternoon so thank you!
hi dennis!
i’d never heard of dj screw until now (i’m not super knowledgeable of hip hop aside from the biggest names) but i loved the little bit that i listened to! i wanna listen to more of his stuff now!
maybe i will make that more broadly queer version of sth eventually but probably not anytime soon. in conjunction/relation to sth, i guess i also just wish for more broadly queer erotic non-fiction in general (that still has the gritty/transgressive edge of sth). a bisexual example i can think of would be jamie stewart’s book ‘anything that moves’. maybe there’s some books that i haven’t read of the ‘new narrative’ style that would fall into it as well.
i wonder if part of the reason there isn’t more broadly queer media (let alone broadly queer transgressive media) is because bisexuals/pansexuals, non-binary people, etc. don’t have the same kind of community/cultural narratives and concepts to rally around. to my knowledge, there is no ‘bisexual/pansexual experience’. bisexuals/pansexuals do not fit neatly into the ‘gay experience’ or ‘straight experience’, they’re a mixture of experiences or perhaps their experiences are something completely different (depending on how you look at it). similarly, there are ‘gay bars’ and ‘straight bars’ but there’s no such thing as a ‘bisexual bar’, and how would something like that even work? is such a thing even possible? i should note that i’m not advocating for there to be ‘bisexual bars’ or a ‘bisexual narrative’, etc. just merely pointing out the shortcomings of certain identity politics and conceptions/relations.
i think this is largely true re: the limits of identity as defined as a shared set of experiences/past narratives, but i would argue that there’s also an element of identity that has to do with a shared orientation towards desire… i think that’s why, though sometimes/often corny, leather spaces or kink spaces can be really diverse hodge-podges of variously “queer” people, ie the popular basement sex party in new york that began as something pretty gay guy affiliated but now is full of trans dykes and trans fags for whom weird public sex is an exciting or valuable experience. samuel delaney is a writer who’s work on “queer spaces” is really useful to me in thinking through this stuff! also the book “make the golf course a public sex forest” which came out two years ago. sorry this ended up being a total digression — all this to say i am, perhaps similarly to you, pre-disposed to pessimism about “queer” stuff because it’s so frequently co-opted by people who want to make money, but i think there’s also a lot of good to be found!
Screw is an absolute icon whose distinctive sound created an entire sub-genre. Rarely does a music feel authentically like the effect of the drugs used while creating it.
Nice to see this tribute and roundup of visuals here.
*POOF* Haha there’s a distinct split in my personality the Muse and Menace let’s say and the more ive aligned the more I realize its best to let Him(Menace) speak even if the Muse side disagrees I am still feeling whatever I’m feeling and its the blend of those two emotions or thoughts thats the real thing ya feel me? Like I actually don’t care but the part of me that did had to say something so It did hence *Poof* & *Pop*. It truly irked me cause I never read what anyone else is posting ever and don’t plan on it lol so I can’t imagine why everyone is reading mine but both of sides me have decided we don’t care in response. Also breeding zone sounds nice buts its not what I’m interested in at all haha, its really about trying to take whats old and doesn’t work and make it new hot and fresh and relevant but the less I say I the better haha I’m over S.T.H as a whole to much motion on it now so y’all can have it. There has to be something actually no one knows about and next time I’m not saying anything about it lol. I’ll be back so ttylxoxo and um hum I’ll look into possibly maybe engaging more but I doubt it I’m naturally this bitchy lol.
I read you broskii…
Dennis, Yeah, it’s weird, they’ve become the monster they despise. And they don’t even realize it. Dude who runs the show is suddenly very strict about everything and is frankly just making up shit as he goes along. None of it makes sense.
Yes, glad to be back. For now. I probably won’t be commenting here except for on weekends once this return to office bullshit starts.
We’ve had one coworker already resign. I find something else, I’m gone too. I love the people I work with but my company and this guy are just not worth it. I don’t have time for a bunch of arbitrary, vindictive, vicious pettiness. Fuck them.
I’m not really familiar with this kind of music, but from what I do know it seems like DJ Screw was really ahead of his time. There’s a lot of rap out there right now themed around lean with this sleepy, hazy feeling. Being from San Diego, which has lots of hills and valleys and canyons, I love a good walkable city. I’ve liked living in Chicago because it’s so flat and walkable. As a current art school student, “transgressive” seems to be a popular buzzword in the art world at the moment, although it seems everyone has a different idea of what that means. I feel kind of conflicted about that word myself. I agree that right now would be a good time for transgressive fiction to make a comeback, if it hasn’t already. There are a lot of writers out there doing it, many of which I’ve discovered through this blog. Are they gonna be re-publishing any of your pre-Cycle books like Safe or the poetry collections? I tried to look for the Antoine Monnier interview, and yeah it is very hard to find. It’s funny how every article about him online references his “bird-like androgynous beauty”. I’ll put those Bresson films on my watchlist. Of course, I don’t have any problem with bleak stories, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here, haha.
Hey, Dennis! These ‘chopped & screwed’ tracks are really hypnotic—very cool post. I’m wondering if you’ve seen Olivier Assayas’ ‘Cold Water’? I have issues with most of his films, but I really feel like this is his best work. Hope you’re doing well, and I’m thrilled that the blog is back! Here’s a new song from Daniel Avery that I can’t stop listening to today.
love this post! i have pretty terrible music taste for what i listen to on the daily — i get really stuck on one or two albums for months at a time and then once i exhaust them i can move on — but i feel like this released me from the grip of what ive been listening to recently. it sounds like im listening to music underwater, or like im in one of those dreams where you’re trying to run but you can only move at a glacial pace. his influence is clearly so profound — the SALEM connection is especially fascinating. i wish jack donahue and lana were still dating… she deserves a crazy hot bisexual boyfriend!
had a good couple of days! found a cheap copy of civilization and its discontents at a used bookstore nearby and started re-reading nightwood by djuna barnes. every day i am tempted closer and closer to pursuing psychoanalysis…..
Houston rap has always had a bluesy streak, and DJ Screw’s mixes of gangsta rap songs made them sound sad and depressed rather than boastful. His remix of UGK’s “One Day,” a murky crawl through grief, is so beautiful.
It’s the hottest day of the year in New York (and much of the U.S.), thanks to a heat dome. I walked a few blocks to the grocery store, but I couldn’t imagine going any further.
Does Chris Dankland still post here? (If so, hi!)
Any weekend plans? I’m having brunch with a friend Sunday. I’m also in the middle of an article on Lincoln Center’s series of new horror movies. So far, they’ve been pretty dreadful, though I liked a documentary about THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. How many more horror films about grief and generational trauma do we need?
Anthology has a retrospective of the L.A. collective EZ-TV coming up next month. Did you ever interact with them?
Agreed with you on the cross-commenting making the blog feel alive. One reason why I usually comment on the later side is because I like reading everybody’s comments after reading the blog, even if I’m not always sure how to respond or where/whether I really fit into things. One time the late Mr. Ehrenstein gave me a Jane Birkin recommendation and it really made my day. Fascinating that you’re trying to write about a Chalamet-like figure. It makes sense, because I think one reason why he’s obsessed over the way he is that he’s the first big star in a while who (if I may borrow from Mirbeau) is a blank page that everyone can inscribe their ideas onto. Artsy girls think he’s their dream guy. Gay guys go wild for him. There’s think pieces from old film critics. Sports fans are thrilled about his basketball knowledge. My friend who is super into Bob Dylan was suitably impressed by Timmy’s performance/SNL song choice even though he was sure he was going to hate it. And then, of course, there’s the phenomenon that is ClubChalamet.
As this weekend opens, I’m delighted to be listening to Nick Drake’s little-known ‘The Commisioner, He Come’ and Edith Massey’s ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’. Both masterpieces in their own way.
God, I can imagine. It’s a bit like the weird baby fever people get – it’s so painful and exhausting and you swear you’ll never go through it again, until your brain gets amnesia or something and you end up repeating the cycle of production anyway. C’est la vie!
I’ll send you a link to the final video when it comes out. There was a bit of a nightmare shitshow on the final day when the DP’s camera bricked halfway through a scene. I’m in the middle of making a claim to get his money back. Dealing with insurance is the end of the world, man. But, we’re going to have the final missing scenes animated, so I reckon it’ll look even better!
Hoping Room Temperature makes its way to Scotland soon. My friend Rachel and I are excited, probably our most anticipated film of 2025 (no pressure).
I also just finished Close to the Knives by David Wojnarowicz. It kind of blew me away. I know you were publishing him in Little Caesar. Were you a big fan of his extended writing?
I’ll also send you my book on Zulawski’s Possession soon. It comes out in August. I actually mention The Marbled Swarm in one section (hard to explain, but I think the segue was justified). Hope you enjoy it. I got access to the apartment in Sebastianstraße, Kreuzberg, but I’ve been too busy to make the pilgrimage. Would be cool to get a selfie of me in the location with a copy of the book.
I’ll be in Paris 2026 during July, hail, rain, or shine. I’ll e-mail you more info later in the year.
Thanks again for everything, D!
Chris
d-
i remember when this day first ran over at the old blog! if you can believe it, i think we’ve been corresponding for 15 years now. maybe 14.
yeah, black eyes are great. scant discography, just two albums and a couple singles, but they’re a band that radically changed how i listen to music and the music i listen to. their last one, cough, still gets played a lot around here. their festival will feature shows by my favorite hardcore band, pissed jeans, on the two nights before they play. very exciting. no film portion, but next time maybe.
yeah, weird that you’ve never heard of that OCCK case. it’s one of the more famous ‘unsolved’ serial murders of the 70s and all the background/incidental material just seems tailor made for yr tastes. i know it was tailor made for my tastes. the craziest part is you start reading it and apparently detroit and its environs were just CRAWLING with pedophiles in the 70s, because there’s seriously just a huge sprawling cast of tangentially related kid-fuckers peppered throughout this case. and a few that are very much in cahoots with each other. fascinating story though. the book ‘the snow killings’ gets into it pretty well, but it’s also ALL OVER the blogosphere, in case you want to know more about it.
life is uneventful. how’s tricks with you? i am bored at work and need a change, but what else is new. my cat is being a real chump. i’m getting fat. time to go off sodas again and back to just plain bubbly water. hope yr day rules and i will try to have similar. talk soon.
-c.
Hi there Dennis! I’m pleased with how the encounter went. ‘Queer’ came to mind because of how she described her interest in Wilde’s work. I thought about her mentions of how dialogue can act as a means to present indirect separation, where those voices can embellish narratives. It made me reflect on how Burroughs engages with outlier perspectives and how their contradictions reveal a greater sincerity in wanting to be seen and valued. She’s already told me that she appreciates the bluntness of the observations. It’s interesting, as I find Burroughs goes on to shape “bluntness” in a novel like The Wild Boys. I’m close to finishing that novel, by the way. I absolutely adore it.
We didn’t end up going through the clothes. She has a huge bag of them, so I’ll be visiting her place when it’s convenient. I’m excited to see what works on me.
I’m happy that you’ve heard of Serial Experiments Lain. For my first year of university, I became a shut-in. Repressed thoughts about the state where I was living before just shot up at me. I didn’t know how to respond as I hadn’t been in that position before. As a result, what I chose to do was mediate my depression through being online a lot. It was a healthy position for me, but watching Lain did challenge that displacement I felt. Identities commodified under an algorithm that only provides singular aspects of an individual; the desire to use tools available to you to make peace with reality; how identity continues to transform each day – all these ideas rose to me when I watched it. I realised that I was capable of engaging with others beyond restricted methods. When I reflect on Lain, I think of that period and how it helped me challenge that period of depression. Let me know if you end up rewatching it. I think it’s a show that I’m in due need to see again.
On a similar note, there’s a show that I’d recommend if you haven’t seen it. My favourite Anime series is Boogiepop Phantom. It deals with similar existential worries as Lain and even came out just a couple of years after. However, what it instead focuses on is the capability of desire and the potential of it being realised by forces beyond our control. It came to me from a recommendation by that online friend of mine (Zaf is her name. I consider her a soulmate. I’m bound to mention her a few times lol). Given it’s focus on youthful displacement and identities as ambiguous powers, I think it may resonate with you.
I don’t have much planned for the weekend. Will likely find myself in some shenanigans somehow. Hope yours go well. Take care!
Well, OnlyFans works by subscription, but you can choose to make your page free and charge for specific things. Some people offer a service where they message back and forth with people, which is probably the part that I’d like to do the least. It’s sort of interesting when you think about that kind of interaction. I mentioned doing webcam work which amounted to nothing because I got banned for some reason and they refused to pay me. I remember thinking how both the viewers and me were turning each other into something else in our minds (which is I guess the same with all sexual situations), but I mean that in the mind of the people watching, I was probably reduced to just what I did for them to get them off, and in my mind I was trying to make them into something small and homogenous which I didn’t have to think much about. I’m sure that’s not true for everyone who does that sort of thing.
Visited some of the old haunts today. It’s weird going from the city to a small town because everyone moves so slowly, in the city you train yourself to walk really fast. It’s true that some places really do move slower. I do feel like a complete freak here. Everyone knows everyone. There’s this old punk guy who dyes his grey hair pink and blue and wears ripped Sex Pistols t-shirts and he always wretches and makes a funny look or laughs when I pass him. I know it sounds like I’m imagining things but trust me, he was whispering to his friend when he saw me. I do get that kind of thing a lot when I go back here, being visibly queer, but it’s such a funny image of this old ‘punk’ thinking it somehow subversive to be a bigot. I think he’d be infinitely more punk without the getup and was punk through his actions and outlook rather than randomly saying ‘anarchy in the uk!’ sometimes. Anyway, enough of my rambling, have a cool weekend.
Glad to see Screw get some rep here! I always knew his name but never listened to a Screwtape until high school. It’s a joy that there’s so many of them that you can never run out. I remember being blown away that George Floyd was a regular artist with him under the name Big Floyd. His feature on Ballin’ in the Mall is an all-time verse for me.
Hope all’s been nice, by the way! My first staged reading this past Tuesday went well, definitely got bit by the bug to do more work onstage so I’m looking at how I can involve myself in that. Even had an audition on Wednesday for another reading. Didn’t get selected, but still a milestone.
Hey Dennis.
Oh, I love dj screw. Been listening to him for a good while now.
I applied for that grant btw, fingers crossed they seem interested in what’s looking like a very long and strange novel about a perverted kid who can’t stop masturbating in dirty bathrooms or something. Have you ever felt awkward trying to tell people the plot of yr books? I hate having to summarise anything tbh (wonder how someone would try and summarise the plot to “Thomas the Obscure” or “Man in the Holocene”) – I feel like most stuff is about the reading more than anything, I dunno, it’s unnatural to me somehow.
Anyway, I’m 22 today, so I think I’m just gonna watch movies and chill for most of the day. I have no idea how to have a birthday. I can never tell what I want and what other people want me to want. Have a good weekend, and I hope Zac has a good one too!
Yeah, from my knowledge the Silent Hill games were predominantly Playstation, with ports and later games coming to the Xbox. Except for Shattered Memories which I think was made for the Wii? Or at least was promoted as a Wii game. The main 4, the 4 created by the original studio, before they moved production from Japan to the West, are basically just Playstation exclusives. Silent Hill 2 remake was on a lot of consoles so perhaps it had a Switch release? I think the upcoming Silent Hill f is coming out on Switch. They’re worth playing if you ever get the chance!
It’s another late night for me as I ended up waking up later than I wanted to, and barely had a day. Hoping I can actually get up at a reasonable time tomorrow, and feel like a human again!
Hey Dennis!
Just wanted to let you know that I sent you an E-mail. I hope everything is back to normal with the blog now and I hope to hear from you soon!
Wonder what Chris Dankland is up to these days. I remember some really nice work from him on the blog.
I love these totally mechanical windup toys. I’ve thought about learning clockwork, but I’m lazy and just building a proper workshop is daunting.
Greetings from the mysterious orient, Dennis. Flight wasn’t bad. Watched a doc on SF photographer/artist Michael Jang, most of a recent George Carlin doc (not my thing, but interesting), and a little of Queer, which I found to be quite annoying. The eye candy was fun though.
I have a little gig tonight. Will wrap up the guest post this weekend and send it your way.
Bill