DC's

The blog of author Dennis Cooper

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DC’s ostensibly favorite Haunted Attractions of Halloween season 2024 (United States edition) *

* (Halloween countdown post #7)

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A Haunting in Hollis (Queens Village, NY)
A Haunting in Hollis is one of the scariest haunted houses in Queens and is certainly going to be one of the most frightful experiences you’ll have this season. This haunted house is set up in a residential neighborhood. It’s so frightening you’ll have to sign a hold-harmless waiver to enter! You wouldn’t think you’d find such a scary place in a normal neighborhood, but here it is! The entire property is decked out in scary decor. They really go all out! Inside the home, you’ll be met with three floors of terror. There are two pitch-black mazes outside where you’ll have nothing but a flashlight to guide you.

 

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ScareHouse: The Basement (Pittsburgh)
A scare so terrifying that it requires you to have a safe word – just in case you can’t make it through the whole haunted attraction? Bunny. That’s your safe word, should you need to use it. Once you do use it, you’ll be escorted out of the terrifying haunted attraction, forfeiting your admission fee. Before you can descend into The Basement, you must sign a waiver, asserting you are 18 years old or older. If you have a heart condition, respiratory problems, or are pregnant, you’ll probably want to avoid The Basement, which features a full menu of twists that will include… Low lighting, water, electricity exposure, and sometimes total darkness. Should you decide to enter The Basement, you can go alone or with only one other person.

 

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The Fear Experiment (Danville, IL)
“Are you familiar with the concept of lucid dreaming, Mr. Higgins?” the bearded man asks as he studies me from the other side of the table. I look up from the paperwork in front of me and assure the man that I am indeed quite familiar with the concept. The idea that I could recognize I’m dreaming and change the outcome of the dream is a tantalizing one and I’m apparently not the only one to think so. “Project Sandman,” the man continues, “will chemically induce lucid dreaming and allow you to confront your deepest fear. Once this fear is confronted, you will wake up and live a life without fear. Are you ready?” His offer sounds good to me. I’m just signing my life away to a secret government organization operating out of a basement somewhere in Danville, IL. I’m sure no harm will come of it. I’m sure the woman writhing in agony on the nearby TV screen isn’t problematic either. Nope, everything is good here! “Yes, I’m rea…” Before I can even finish my sentence, a young woman with unkempt hair and a tear-stained face bursts into the room and points a pistol right at the man’s head.

 

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The Wicker Manor (Denver)
Our home haunt has been a labor of love for years. Each October, we transform our ordinary home into a nightmarish wonderland of scares and thrills. Expect a Halloween experience like no other. We’ve poured our blood, sweat, and fake cobwebs into creating a mesmerizing spectacle that will leave you breathless. From terrifying monsters lurking in the shadows to jaw-dropping special effects that will send shivers down your spine, our haunt promises to be a visual and emotional rollercoaster.

 

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Dominion of Terror (Sheboygan, WI)
We are celebrating 50 YEARS OF TERROR in 2024 and is the longest running haunted house in Wisconsin! Come celebrate half a century of screams and scares at Dominion of Terror, where nightmares come to life! With our 50 years of expertise in creating spine-chilling terror, you’re guaranteed a heart-pounding experience like no other. Get ready to navigate through our haunted house, packed with twisted corridors, eerie surprises, and horrifying creatures lurking in the shadows. Whether you’re a thrill-seeker or just looking for a ghoulishly good time, Dominion of Terror promises an unforgettable night of fear and fun.

 

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The Haunted Hills Hayride (Partlow, VA)
Deep in the woods of Spotsylvania County (Partlow, VA) the hills come will come alive in 2024. It all begins with a DARK haywagon ride; dropping you off deep in the OMINOUS woods. You will fear your journey through nearly a mile of live ghouls, zombies, clowns, mazes, and various other scares. It is intense and not recommended for children under 12, those with medical conditions, or the faint of heart (see the WARNING link). You are paying to be scared and that is what The Haunted Hill intends to do.

 

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Hallowheelslv presents Trapped (Las Vegas)
The drive-in experience is designed to be enjoyed from inside your car as an innovative solution to the social distancing challenges. Trapped will take place all around your vehicle, which is located within a haunted pod, using projection technology and a spooky soundtrack on your car’s radio. “You will experience intense audio, lighting, low visibility, fog, strobe lights, special effects, sudden loud sounds and actions in this psychologically demanding environment,” the website warns. Trapped tells the story of a desolate earth where governments have fallen and ‘order has been replaced by chaos, hope by fear, and life by death’. Trapped features mobs, bombs, hostiles and deadly traps.

 

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Mount Mayhem (Phoenix, AZ)
Children under the age of 16 must be accompanied by an adult. NO EXCEPTIONS! Only one time through the haunt and no repeat customers on the same night. Please be patient as we try to get the line in as fast as we can. Trust us, we want to scare you. Please respect our neighbors and do not sit or loiter after you have finished your scare. Our doors close at 9:30pm. Our last group will let in at 9:20pm. Plan accordingly. Reservations and walk ups will be allowed this year. No groups larger than 5 people at a time. Bigger groups will be split. NO EXCEPTIONS! We reserve the right to refuse entry to anyone!

 

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Wolfmans House Of Screams (Carl Junction, MO)
Wolfmans House of Screams in Carl Junction, Missouri, has been in operation since 2003 and was started by Reggie ‘The Wolfman.’ This family-friendly attraction is an old-school classic haunt with a grungy, vintage vibe. Wolfmans is a classic old-school haunt, and it really shows in the set design in a good way. It feels vintage, almost like you’re walking through a haunted antique shop, and overall gives a very grungy vibe while keeping in the Halloween spirit. It’s a classic haunt that makes appropriate changes and updates while keeping in the spirit of what it’s been since 2003.

 

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Haunted Hoochie (Pataskala, OH)
We set out to stand out. Haunted Hoochie is a full sensory assault. Taking you by the throat and dragging you down the rabbit hole and into the realm of a heart pounding in your face horror show. Performed nightly right before your very eyes. If you are wondering if your kids are too young then your kids are too young. So leave em at home. And that goes for babies. It ruins our good time to turn around and see your freaked out infant. Whats wrong with you??? If you’re worried about being touched don’t come. We want you to have a fun safe time but its large crowds in tight spaces. Our monsters will scare the shit out of you.

 

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Stabbys Funhouse of Horror (Roseburg, OR)
Annual haunted house put on by The Roseburg Fright Club is an all volunteer group, interested in helping the youth in our area….. Many of the folks involved in this nomadic haunt have been around for centuries…. Err since 1993. From our humble beginnings at Eastwood Elementary School, we have been located all over the greater Roseburg Area. From school gyms to empty warehouses, to the Fairgrounds and now back downtown at the Roseburg Elks Lodge. Come visit if you dare!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhaaaaaaaaaaaa! “This place is Hell’s waiting room.”

 

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Dread Hollow (Chattanooga, TN)
Chattanooga’s award-winning haunted attraction is back with 3 new haunted house experiences. Tortured souls, bewitching whispers, and monstrous evil exact their Vengeance in the tainted town of Dread Hollow! Dread Hollow is not recommended for children under the age of 12.

 

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The Blackness (Plainview, TX)
The legend of “The Blackness” started in the late 1950’s with a hideously deformed warehouse worker named Dominique. “Dom” worked night and day to repair the mechanical workings of the produce facility, but because of his condition, he couldn’t keep up. He was constantly the target of abuse and ridicule by people at work and around town. When the plant shut down in the fall of ’78, Dom was left penniless and homeless. With nowhere to live, he went back to the only place he knew, the old abandoned warehouse. Angry at how he had been mistreated, he took his anger out on the people that caused him pain. The city became victim to a string of bizarre disappearances. The community was stunned when detectives finally found the decomposing remains of all who were missing inside the old warehouse. The grounds of the produce warehouse are now tainted with the blood of many, and each Fall, its lights glow dimly as Dom returns to complete unfinished business. So do you have the nerve to enter The Blackness and make it all the way through?

 

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The Haunting Experience (Cottage Grove, MN)
Welcome to The Haunting Experience, the scariest of all the Halloween attractions and haunted houses in Minnesota. It is located just a few minutes south of St. Paul, along Highway 61 in Cottage Grove. We invite you to visit us this October…if you dare.

 

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Raisin Hell Ranch (Madera, CA)
Raisin Hell Ranch is one of the most terrifying haunted attractions in California’s Central Valley. Known for its extreme and intense scares, this haunt produces a nightmarish realm of psychotic freaks and depraved maniacs.

 

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Booger Jim’s Hollow (Blacksburg, SC)
Come with friends never alone. It is now time for you to start your epic journey through the seemingly endless hollow that is Booger Jim’s Haunted Trail. If you are brave enough to make it through the trail your horrifying night is not yet over. You exit the trail and you enter into an unguided nightmare of a Real Haunted House that will send chills so far up your spine that you’ll feel it for a year.

 

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The Haunted World (Caldwell, ID)
Since the year 2000, we’ve perfected the art of fear. As the largest indoor and outdoor haunted attration and haunted house in the state, we offer more frightening entertainment than anyone else. We offer a spooky experience that is guaranteed to scare the pants off you, your friends, or your family. Expect around 1½ hours on weekdays, and around 2 hours on weekends, to experience The Haunted World.

There is no need to travel to Knotts Scary Farm, Universal Studios, or Salt Lake City, when the Largest Haunted Attraction in the western United States is RIGHT HERE in the Treasure Valley. Make no bones about it, our haunt rivals them all. It is not uncommon to have sweaty palms, discomforts in the bowel regions of your body, an irregular heart beat, and an uncontrollable urge to run… fast.

 

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BloodManor (New York City)
It may not come as a surprise to some of you that Tribeca is an abbreviation of “Triangle Below Canal Street;” however, some of you may be surprised to learn that the three particular points of this triangle are also the locations of what many will call the most disturbing, gruesome, and mysterious events to ever happen within its 9, 283,507 square foot radius.

Originally applied to the area bounded by Broadway and Canal, Lispenard, and Church Street, the first part of our story begins right here, within the walls of 359 Broadway – the building now designated to house the most disturbing, horrifying Halloween ghost attraction in New York City – BLOODMANOR.

It appears, ladies and gentleman, that our humble quarters are, in fact, a magnet for horror and tragedy – some even believe that a portal exists here and continues to be an open pathway through which evil and misfortune can travel. No strangers to fear, we invite you to join us and our ghosts for what will most definitely be the scariest season we have ever had. Please rest assured, we will do whatever we can to keep you safe – whatever that may be.

 

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Stag (Saginaw, MI)
Using terrifying real-life situations, STAG is sure to have you calling quits before getting to the finish line. Rather than relying on jump scares, STAG utilizes intense psychological distress through its horrific scenarios. Two hours away from Detroit, this haunted house offers two different levels: Extreme Haunt and Extreme Immersive Horror (EIH). Addiction, abuse, and sexual taboos are only a few of the realistic horrors covered. Physical touch, total darkness, sensory deprivation, nudity, cramped places, and electricity are all things that participants may anticipate.

 

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The Dent Schoolhouse (Cincinnati, OH)
The Dent Schoolhouse is Cincinnati’s HALLOWEEN Tradition. 2024 marks 28 seasons of scaring Cincinnati as a haunted house. The attraction is known as one of the most detailed haunted attractions in the United States and has been featured on BuzzFeed, Travel Channel, HGTV, E! and many more. The attraction actually takes place in an old haunted schoolhouse that was built in 1894. The Dent Schoolhouse is one of Cincinnati’s oldest running haunted house but has evolved with the times to become one of the most high tech haunts. Projection mapping, animatronics, over-sized puppets, air bags and more! The movie like sets make The Dent Schoolhouse a must visit on anyone’s haunted house list.

 

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Cutting Edge Haunted House (Fort Worth, TX)
Located in a 100-year-old abandoned meat packing plant in a section of Fort Worth historically dubbed as “Hell’s Half Acre,” the Cutting Edge Haunted House is built upon a foundation of fear. The meat packing equipment from the Old West is still in use, but now it is a two-story human processing area. Realistic looking human mannequins are hoisted up to the second level and brought through the entire meat packing process until the conveyor system brings the butchered corpses back to the first level. The old meat-packing plant in downtown Fort Worth is a great home for the fantastic special effects that our loyal customers have come to expect. It takes visitors an average 55 minutes to explore Cutting Edge Haunted House. This walk-through haunted house is frighteningly realistic.

 

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Wilkes Family Halloween (Bensenville, IL)
Located in the West Suburbs of Chicago, the Wilkes Family has become known over the years for their elaborate interactive, walkthrough Halloween yard displays that pay homage to classic horror movies. This year’s Elm Street display includes an awesome nod to the iconic “Welcome to primetime, bitch!” death scene from Dream Warriors, and the Wilkes family even recreated Johnny Depp’s death scene from Wes Craven’s original film. They rigged up a “blood waterfall” and constructed a bed around it, making it look like blood is shooting up out of the mattress.

 

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The Victim Experience (Las Vegas)
Think of the Victim Experience as a realistic and visceral simulation of pretty much every violent crime you can imagine, with you in the role of victim, and you won’t be far wrong. The Victim Experience is not only physically brutal, but like any good rite of passage it will test your mind, body, and soul, and leave its marks on them all as well. It is not fun, not one second of it.

What’s Included in a Ticket Purchase: Orientation and safety class (on site) with refreshments. This is where you will meet your fellow “Victims”. Last Rites with Pope Satanus. Your official trip through the immersive “The Gates of Hell: Uncensored”, filled with various horrors, challenges, obstacles, and aberrations. Decompression and debriefing in heated tent with your fellow Victims and the creators of the event. This includes hot drinks, cold beverages, and snacks. Option to stay on site and watch other Victims in subsequent time slots attempt to make it through.

 

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Philip Anselmo’s Housecore Horror Home Haunt (New Orleans)
“Philip H. Anselmo here. It’s Halloween time. I like to get uproarious with my stuff.” Founded by Pantera’s Frontman Phil Anselmo, Housecore Horror Home Haunt is a seasonal haunted house attraction located in New Orleans, Louisiana. Every year, it’s is open on weekends in October. Housecore Horror Home Haunt is known for its satanic themes and intensity by New Orleans residents and tourists. Its endless horrors literally take up the entire home — both inside and out. There are so many scary props and gags, it’s as if you’re walking through the house from Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses.

 

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Barrett’s Haunted Mansion (Abington, MA)
During most of the year Mary Costello is busy running her restaurant, the Abington Ale House, in Abington, Massachusetts. But every Halloween season, things get considerably more scary behind the beloved restaurant. Barrett’s Haunted Mansion is a labor of love for all involved. Along with their two haunted houses that are changed each year, they also offer special nights like Bite & Fright, a Lights on Tour, and extreme nights for guests who don’t mind being touched in total darkness for an extra scary experience.

 

 

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p.s. Hey. Just an early heads up that the post and p.s. on Monday will be the last one(s) before the blog goes on a monthlong vacation while I’m in the US. More specifics on Monday. ** Dominik, Hi!!! That horrifying mistake must be rectified! I don’t remember gargling salt water having fixed my sore throats either, come to think of it. Thank you for the secret door. Today I think I would like it to lead to the funeral of our film’s producer. This weekend, love plans to dematerialise you and re-materialise you at the entrance to one of the haunted houses up above, but he just needs you to choose, G. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. Gary Hume, yeah, nice. ** Misanthrope, Oh, I think Mr. Morrison held his own. My signature by default, but yes. So sorry about your friend. But I guess so happy for your other friend assuming it’s not a shotgun wedding. ** Jay, Thank you, sir. That is a nice door. Everyone, Jay shared a nice door. Here. Nice awaiting LP stack you have there. So happy and proud if my stuff enhances the seemingly already exciting Horatio. A film made on a Nintendo! I want make a film on Nintendo. Hmmmm… Have a very suave weekend. I’m not sure what could make a weekend suave, but I hope yours knows how to be that. ** Tyler Ookami, I like the Dr. West option. Oh, your comments always seem utterly impeccable, so no worries. ** Minks, Hi, Minks! I think I’m meeting you for first time, aren’t I? If so, warmest welcome. If not, sorry for my cloudy brain. I don’t know that Gaiman novel, but I’ll investigate. Thanks !! ** Diesel Clementine, Third time was the charm. That thing you linked to looks exciting. I’ll have to wait until I’m through here to read it, but it won’t be long. Everyone, Diesel shared this. As with everything Diesel shares, it’s surely a must. ** Lucas, Hi. Yes, and balance often finds you rather than the other way around. New poem! Sure, I’d love to see it, Just know that I’ll be even slower than usual ‘cos I’ll be traveling and doing a bunch of stuff in the US for the next while, but yes! I’d love to read it! I like Cocteau fine. He was a fireball. I’ve never felt wildly in love with anything he did, but he seems like he was a pretty valuable figure. ** HaRpEr, Hey. My building’s outer and inner doors both have codes, and I have them on my phone and also write them on little piece of paper that I keep in my wallet. So hopefully I don’t lose my phone and wallet on the same day. You need a trolley. Writing poems, I mean, yeah, could be worse, and obviously giving the assignment an Oulipo mindset seems like the way to go. I hope you’re surrounded by located books by weekend’s end, among other and more pleasurable pleasures. ** Uday, Thank you, U. Or thank u, you. I know Jaimie Branch a little bit but not a lot. It’s possible she was in a gig post here? Wow, you’re going to be in a Rocky Horror production and not just sitting in the audience yelling out the lines like people at least used to like to do? That’s wild! Get it videoed. Uh, if I can manage to get decent ‘physical’ evidence of the haunts I traverse through, I will, but it’s hard ‘cos they’re usually dark and swervy. But you can imagine they’ll look a fair amount like the photos in the blog today because they probably will. You’re in the hurricane zone. Wow. You and yours are not too soaked, I hope. There are so many unfairly somewhat obscure books I could recommend. That’s pretty much all I read. Hm, how about Darius James’s ‘Negrophobia’. ** Oscar 🌀, Hahaha, nice one. I have a friend who collects lederhosen. I think it’s a sexual fetish, but don’t tell him I said that. Yesterday I used ChatGPT for the first time, and, not really knowing how to use it, I asked it to say the first thing it would say if it were suddenly an actual human being and being introduced to its fellow humans for the first time, and imagine my surprise (or maybe lack thereof) when it said what it said. Door is always wide, wide open when its motion sensors detect your approach. I’ve been all over the place. Mostly I’m just going to be trying to prepare myself for my trip and cleaning up film messes and deciding what to read at my reading and sneaking in some friend time and things like that there this weekend. A mostly practical weekend. I hope yours was wildly impractical in, you know, the good way. In return for your big big big vibes, I send you absolutely gargantuan vibes. xo ** Okay. If you’re somewhere in the US, I hope you live near one of the haunted attractions I have splayed before you this weekend. Or, if not, that they will inspire you to do a google search to find such a place within driving or walking or bussing or whatever distance. That’s my hope. See you on Monday.

Doors

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This door knob represents Panetheus having his eyes pecked out by a bird as a punishment from Zeus for giving humans the secret to make fire.

 

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The Tanaka Sliding Door is a door that moulds to the shape of your body as you pass through it. “Who the fuck wants a door like this? Not me, you? I guess it’s kinda wierd but then again Japanese people like wierd shit like pulling down girls underwear in public and eating girl’s shit and eaitng sushi off of a guy’s penis.” — Anonymous

 

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Original Toughage Door Sex Swing Chair, it can satisfy your fresh sexual intercourse positions and give you give you fresh stimulus sexual enjoyment for coushion sex love games. Also, you can share the feeling of the emperor when you make love by slave bondage restraints kit You can share the different sex feeling, it is an amazing feeling of bondage restraints that can has the unique ability to enhance your sex life.

 

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The knock detecting door lock is built with an Arduino, a motor and piezo sensor which record and detect the phony knocks on your door. The system won’t open until a certain code pattern is detected.

 

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Horror movies


Beyond the Door, 1974


The Forbidden Door, 2009


The Girl Next Door, 2007


At the Devil’s Door, 2014


Beneath the Door, 1996


Behind the Red Door, 2003


Behind the Door, 2014


The Strange Door, 1951


The Dead Next Door, 1990


Cellar Door, 2006

 

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This past week my wife and I visited the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis. It is a museum that hosts among other things exhibitions of contemporary art. One of the exhibits was a work of art by Robert Gober created in the late 1980s entitled “Untitled Door And Door Frame” and the elements used were “wood, enamel paint.” To a left-brained home fixit guy like myself, Untitled Door And Door Frame looked like an unfinished project and anything but a work of art. In my linear, structured way of thinking the paint was dry so why not get the necessary hardware, grab the door and install the hinges and latch set, measure the doorframe to match, install its hinges and mount the door? But God’s view of us as a work of art defies our limited worldly perspective. In heavens eyes art is defined solely by the Creator. When God created the heavens and the earth with man, both male and female, as His crowning achievement He “looked over all He had made, and He saw that it was very good!” (Genesis 1:31 NLT) When God declares that His works of art are art, and “very good” at that, then we need to agree with Him. Yes we may feel like an unhinged door, even look like one to a casual observer, but in heavens eyes we are a valuable work of art, “God’s workmanship” or “masterpiece” the Bible tells us. God looks at us, the way any artist looks at their finished work, with a sense of satisfaction and personal delight. And that is prior to us having ever done anything, been of any benefit to anyone else or proven our worth to God Himself. All the credit for being a masterpiece goes to the creator, not to the work.

 

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Dominic Muren’s award-winning Melody Door works like a vertical xylophone, allowing you to tap out your very own signature tune on a full octave of available notes.

 

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The Epidemic
by Georges Perec

The dreamer (this whole story is like a novel in the third person) has sat down at a little bistro. He is foreign, but they quickly come to treat him like a regular. The boss and some of the customers are discussing the epidemic. The Chinese cook of the restaurant enters (the dreamer thinks he looks like someone he knows); the Chinese cook says they need to find a replacement for him, because he can no longer continue to man the stoves and cook for the girls. On this note he cites a Shakespearean proverb:

    They died not all, but all were sick!

Stunned, the owner of the café looks at the dreamer: he’s the one who taught him the proverb. At that instant the dreamer understands that he is no longer a stranger at some table and that he is now the “central character”; at the same time, he recognizes the Chinese cook; he knows only him; he’s the one who comes from time to time to volunteer for the girls.

There has been a great cholera epidemic. Everyone wants to be examined. The symptom is spitting up blood. The dreamer and two of his friends walk around the town. They arrive in front of a stairway blocked by a mass of young girls, surely a boarding school. They pretend to have priority, like one of them has been stricken, so that the doctor has to look after them first. The doctor has to clear a path through the girls.

A bit later, in a crowd of girls splayed out, sick, the dreamer picks up a piece of earth (and not a piece of trash or of feces) from the ground. And he discovers, behind a door, his friend J., laid flat, dead, turned into earth, turned into a block of earth that is missing the piece the dreamer just picked up.

 

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Meandering Door

 

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A Riverside County man has pleaded not guilty to burglary and indecent exposure charges after he alleged crawled through a neighbor’s doggie door naked for sex. Philip John Garcia, 41, was arrested on April 10 and is being held on $130,000 bail. According to the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department, the victim told authorities that her husband had left for work that evening and she was preparing for bed when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. The woman opened the door to find Garcia naked and possibly intoxicated. Garcia allegedly told the woman that he was there to have sex, officials said. The victim yelled at him to leave and called authorities. Garcia was later arrested after deputies located him naked in his own bed.

 

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The defendus labyrinth door chain is a project by the Art Lebedev studio in Moscow. Constructed from titanium alloy, fixed in place with 10 different screws and load-tested to a whopping 700 pounds of force, the door chain forces you to solve a maze to exit with no other option.

 

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In 1990, two years after April Tinsley’s murder, this message appeared on a barn door near where her body was recovered.

 

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More knobs

 

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PS1 Contemporary Art Center reopened in 1997 after extensive renovations. Alanna Heiss, the gallery’s founder and director, first installed her organisation in this abandoned school in 1976, and to inaugurate the new building with a nod to its past, Gordon Matta-Clark’s Doors, Floors, Doors (1976) was re-made. Using the dimensions of an adjacent door, a rectangular slot was cut through the structure in a vertical line that descended into the basement. To cast a vertigo-inducing glance through these layers of wood and metal was to recall PS1’s origins as an exhibition space whose architecture the artists could sully with impunity.

 

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Botulistum plays a sickeing kind of black metal , which they call “peat metal”. Botulistum was formed in the beginning of 1998 by Nachtraaf (Stringraper and Drumprofaner) and Botmuyl (Over the top hysteria and sickening one snared violin). They started this band as a statement against commercial acts , humanity and other trends. The band split up again in 2002.

 

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Moms gets creepy as hell in the new Old Spice ad.

 

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Sylvia is an actress in erotic movies for whom the narrator is making a table out of a door. He has made one of these for each of his other relationships, all of which failed. A door is what you close behind you when you leave, and what you use to shut things away out of sight. It can be a symbol for repressing problems into your subconscious. It is the opposite of communication — not a very appropriate gift to a lover. One of the women apparently threw the door he gave her onto the barricades, so she didn’t appreciate it.

 

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A door you can only see through if you’re standing in exactly the right spot. If you’re further than 50 centimetres from the inside of the FOCUS Door, a curious milky fog creeps in from the edges of the glass, reducing your vision to a transparent central strip. Move left or right, and that strip moves to the opposite side of the door to you. It’s another door to keep the world at arm’s length – in this case, consigning it to “out of sight, out of mind”.

 

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Tattoos

 

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57-year-old Anthony Bruce Berry was caught by police after he performed an “Indecent act” on the door of a business in Hypoluxo, Florida. An employee saw the whole incident and even got video to use as proof when she called the police. the unidentified employee of the business told law enforcement that she saw Berry walk to the back of the establishment around 2 in the afternoon. Soon after going to the back of the building, Berry reappeared at the front entrance where he tried to open the door. The door was locked so instead of leaving, he pulled out his privates and began committed the disturbing act. Once Anthony Berry finished himself off, he pulled his clothes back together and walked away. He took a seat on a nearby bench and that’s where police found him once the employee called the cops. The police asked Berry if he had committed the sex act with the door and Berry replied, “Yes, I have a mental problem!”

 

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from The School
by Donald Barthelme

One day, we had a discussion in class. The children asked me, where did they go? The trees, the salamander, the tropical fish, Edgar, the poppas and mommas, Matthew and Tony, where did they go? And I said, I don’t know, I don’t know. And they said, who knows? and I said, nobody knows. And they said, is death that which gives meaning to life? And I said no, life is that which gives meaning to life. Then they said, but isn’t death, considered as a fundamental datum, the means by which the taken-for-granted mundanity of the everyday may be transcended in the direction of –
    I said, yes, maybe.
    They said, we don’t like it.
    I said, that’s sound.
    They said, it’s a bloody shame!
    I said, it is.
    They said, will you make love now with Helen (our teaching assistant) so that we can see how it is done? We know you like Helen.
    I do like Helen but I said that I would not.
    We’ve heard so much about it, they said, but we’ve never seen it.
    I said I would be fired and that it was never, or almost never, done as a demonstration. Helen looked out the window.
    They said, please, please make love with Helen, we require an assertion of value, we are frightened.

I said that they shouldn’t be frightened (although I am often frightened) and that there was value everywhere. Helen came and embraced me. I kissed her a few times on the brow. We held each other. The children were excited. Then there was a knock on the door, I opened the door, and the new gerbil walked in. The children cheered wildly.

 

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No door to balcony

 

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It’s been sixteen years since Goatwhore reared its menacing head from the swamplands of New Orleans, Louisiana — a city rife with urban tales of voodoo curses, witchcraft and hauntings by souls of the damned. Spawned by former Acid Bath/Crowbar guitarist Sammy Duet in 1997, their winding legacy follows a dramatic, at times traumatic, sequence of personnel changes, fatal injuries, paranormal activity, natural disasters, and a collection of other misadventures large and small. They say what doesn’t kill you… whether driven by an unwavering commitment to their craft, pure insanity, the divine powers of Satan or perhaps a combination of the three, Goatwhore forever perseveres, inadvertently establishing themselves as one the most consistently punishing live bands of the 21st century.

 

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16 artists’ “doors”


Rachel Whiteread


Alicja Kwade


Michelangelo Pistoletto


Jim Hodges


Gunilla Klingberg


Gerhard Richter


Robert Gober


Tom Burr


Matthew Brannon


Robert Motherwell


Gary Hume


Peter Blake


Ivan Navarro


Valentin Hertweck


Elmgreen & Dragset


Kader Attia

 

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Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door music that has been extended to play for half an hour.

 

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Door Jam Cuffs are great for stand-up sex. The quickest set-up ever! No installation! Will not leave any marks on doors! Place straps over the door, then close firmly. Opens the door to your fantasies. Great for travel to hotels and no-tell motels. Comes with one pair of cuffs and 2 door jam straps. Sports Cuffs are comfortable, adjustable, and sturdy. Fits almost any door. Easy on, easy off Velcro closures. Door Jam Cuffs Set is a registered trademark for Sportsheets. Keeping couples connected.

 

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Creaking door sound effects

 

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“Then Tex told me to go back into the house and write something on the door in one of the victim’s blood,” said Susan Atkins. He said, ‘Write something that would shock the world.’ And I got the towel with Sharon Tate’s blood, walked over to the door and with the towel I wrote pig on the door.”

 

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Secretive doors

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, B. I’ve actually seen ‘A Short Film About Killing’, and I agree, it’s very good. And if one’s a Krzysztof Kieślowski fan, like me, it’s really interesting to see his handiwork in there. Thanks. ** Misanthrope, Those ‘Them’ shows were the last time I was there. Walking in NYC is so much better than subway-ing. Never been a fan of that particular underground transport. Ha. Sadly, I think I’ll be wearing what I always wear, rain or shine ** Dominik, Hi!!! Will do on the haunt sharesies. Oh gosh, you have to decorate for Halloween! Well, you don’t have to, but it sure would make your October better. Well, I guess that wouldn’t guarantee to make your October better but it couldn’t hurt? Well, I guess it could hurt since anything is possible. Still, do it and describe it. Please. The next time I bump into the CEO of BJD I’ll pretend I’m love and get that Vienna outlet open ASAP. Love gargling salt water just for fun, G. ** Jay, Thank you, Jay. That’s really rewarding to hear. I’m pink cheeked. Miike hits that spot, for sure. I’m glad you were charmed by the Dickie stuff. When I was kid/teen, we only had Super8 to work with, and, boy, that was a limiting little camera. Good day to you! ** Steve, The last thing I found by him was that 2020 film. I think he’s doing a lot of behind-the-scene work nowadays. We fly into NYC on Tuesday. I hope the anxiety has continued to make itself scarce. At least the Lower East Side can’t be as decimated as it was back in the 80s when death in some form or other seemed to be lurking behind every corner. ** Måns BT, Hey there, Måns! Me too re: the particular rush that work and work of its kind brings. You’re no longer a Bresson virgin! Fantastic! So much greatness ahead for you. Thank you about ‘Ugly Man’. I’m going through it right now looking for things to maybe read, and it’s an odd book, that one. I really like ‘A Crack-Up at the Race Riots’. I wish Korine had written or would write more fiction-type things. My week has mostly been getting ready for my lengthy upcoming trip and, as usual, trying to move the film forward. Someone is working on the SFX now, and that’s basically the final step in getting the film completely finished, so that’s very good. It’s been raining and raining here, although not at the moment, which is good, but I have a lot of walking I have to do today. Do you have any predetermined excitement in store for you this weekend? xoxo, a guy who’s not sure what side his bread is buttered on. ** Uday, I’ll bet. That it was wonderful, I mean. I wonder if she/they will come here. I wonder if they already have. I wonder if I’ll be here if they do. What are your Halloween possibilities? Are there things that aren’t just theme parties and gothy club nights? I don’t do costumes, or not since I was a young teen. I just look at costumes. I will spend my Halloween, meaning the weeks/days leading up to Halloween, going to haunted houses ion Los Angeles. That’s what I always do. On Halloween itself, I’ll be flying back to Paris, so I’ll spend it sitting on a plane and watching shitty movies. Yours will be better no matter what you do. ** HaRpEr, I would have guessed your day was hectic, but that sounds even more hectic than I imagined. Or I guess more laborious than hectic. I only eat food made/heated in a microwave, so I think you’ll be okay. ‘A three dimensional poem’, huh. What are you thinking of doing formally? Right, that famous pictured Bowie outfit. Yeah, I mean then you just have slick your hair back and do that makeup and plaster a runway model look on your face? ** Justin D, Hi, Justin. My pleasure on the Dickie front. It’s hard to find someone right now who isn’t talking about ‘The Substance’. I know that’s supposed to make me more intrigued to see it, but it just makes me want to watch anything else. My Thursday was okay. I saw some very good visiting friends, Alex and Adem, and otherwise just figured stuff out for my trip and the film screening and stuff. It was okay. Rained a lot. Did Friday work its legendary magical powers on you? ** Malik, Hey! I do have a small stack of Switch games I want to get to since I haven’t used the system in a few years now. I still haven’t dipped into the last ‘Zelda’ or ‘Pikmin’ even. I’ll see what I can find of ‘Sly Cooper’, thanks. Completely with you on the issues with festival anointed and, consequently, buzzy films. I’m so tired of films with overdressed, overworked surfaces and pro-forma edgy interiors that think functional dialogue is totally acceptable as long as the actors speak it with a trending kind of ‘tude. Or something. What’s there to lose, exactly. And the gain could be a lot more than just your own. ** Lucas, Hey! No, most of the principles I ended up using evolved over a long period of time and after a lot of experiments. I mean, I decided to write what would end up being the Cycle when I was fifteen, and I didn’t actually start writing until I was in my thirties, so it took a long time to figure out. I don’t really remember my first ideas. I’m sure they were wildly overreaching. Going into a work with only a vague idea can work just as well as heavily thinking something out. I mean, a lot of the time you don’t end up doing exactly what you wanted/planned to do because your actual talent gets in the way, so just letting an idea unfold as you’re doing the work can be the best way into a great idea, I think. Good, I’m glad you’re sorted mentally and emotionally about the possible visit. I’m okay, just getting myself ready for the travel and events and sneaking in some hanging out time with pals. Friday? How was yours? ** Right. I challenged myself to see if I could do a whole post about doors, and I guess I managed to make one, and now you are either its victims or its poor innocent bystanders or its bemused recipients. See you tomorrow.

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