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Grant Maierhofer presents … Sam Robertson’s Illustrated Old Testament! (Preorder now!)

Samuel Robertson’s
Illustrated Old Testament

PREORDER!

COMING THIS JUNE 2022!

 

“Samuel Robertson lives and works in Minneapolis, painting portraits and other miscellaneous commissions, including covers for books and music albums. He is available for hire. His other undertaking for over half a decade has been illustrating the King James’ Old Testament in a way that’s hard to explain. But author Blake Fitzgerald attempted to describe it, writing, “Never has the ostensibly familiar seemed so delightfully strange and the distantly foreign so immediate, vibrant, relevant, and human. Samuel Robertson’s Illustrated Old Testament is a triumph of visual beauty and a spelunking of Western culture’s foundational mythology to its very depths. We aren’t just getting a retelling of a story we’ve heard before. In his interpretation we find a hard-living culture, replete with bizarre norms, literal magic, alien taboos, and a toxic sense of honor. It is at once visually fresh, often hilarious, and fundamentally honest.”
– Rain Taxi

What’s fascinating about Robertson’s illustrations is they seem at first to exist in a world entirely removed from the text that inspired them, and yet once observed for any length of time become convincing as only tied with these passages, but through a novel and unabashed lens. There’s something tragic about them, with vacant-eyed alien observers wearing cowboy hats staring off from volleyball games they’ve lost interested in, families riding tubes together with sunburnt flesh and bulbous figures, or lonely construction workers next to glowing deities, the both of them docile and resigned in their La-Z-Boys.

 

 

— In the News! —

QUEEN MOB’S TEAHOUSE SIMON CALDER INTERVIEWS SAMUEL ROBERTSON

MINNESOTA COMMUNITY NETWORK: BACK TO THE CITY MPLS PART 1/ PART 2

MPLS ART THE NEW OLD TESTAMENT: THE GOOD BOOK GETS WEIRD

VOLUME ONE LET THERE BE ART!

STAR TRIBUNE AGNOSTIC MINNEAPOLIS PAINTER GIVES THE OLD TESTAMENT A COLORFUL, SURREAL NEW LOOK

SHORT DOCUMENTARY BY JENNIFER SIMONSON.

MINNPOST ”[ROBERTSON’S ILLUSTRATIONS] CRACKLE AND BUZZ WITH COLOR. AT FIRST, THEY MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL, BUT THE MORE YOU LOOK AT THEM AND READ THE ACCOMPANYING TEXT, THE MORE CONVINCING THEY BECOME.”— PAMELA ESPELAND

RAIN TAXI COVER & PROJECT OVERVIEW

 

 

Book Details: Printed locally in Minneapolis by the amazing Bookmobile, 12×9” hardcover with gold foil, 520 pages, 257 illustrations, black endsheets, a bookmark ribbon sewed into the spine, Dust jacket with some surprises, additional bonus illustrations on the title page and table of contents, premium 4 color on 80# matte EuroArt Plus paper.

 

 

INTERVIEW: SAMUEL ROBERTSON

27TH JAN 2022 IN INTERVIEWS
TAGS: SAMUEL ROBERTSON, SIMON CALDER

BY SIMON CALDER
0 COMMENTS

In October 2021, Queen Mob’s Teahouse facilitated a conversation between twin cities-based visual artist Samuel Robertson and Minnesota Community Network TV host Simon Calder. The conversation concerned Robertson’s Illustrated Old Testament, which will be published by 11:11 Press in June. Part 1 of Robertson and Calder’s conversation was first broadcast on MCN6 that month, then archived by Robertson on YouTube. In Robertson’s words, that first part of his conversation with Calder concerned “the topics of God and Good Orderly Direction, violence and the lack of violent imagery in Sam’s illustrations, and Sam’s intent behind some specific paintings.” That first conversation can be viewed here. Today Queen Mob’s Teahouse is pleased to premiere Part II of Robertson and Calder’s conversation, in which they discuss music, food, sin, and shame in relation to several more specific paintings.

Simon Calder: One of my favourite paintings is of Judges 20:8 “and all the people arose as one man.”

I have some specific questions about that painting, but I’m also just interested in your initial thoughts about it.

Samuel Robertson: That’s an example of one that was more of a literal interpretation of the text, with everyone emerging as one man.

SC: That seems quite mystical, the idea of there being the many in the One. It seems there’s something significant going on there, in terms of an invitation to participate…

SR: Yeah, all these characters are sprinkled throughout [the rest of the book]. It’s very individualist, reflective of the individual in the world, since that’s so much what is focused on in our society … In that sense, the project was about having these individual paintings with these individual people doing their individual things. When they’re all put together and bound in this book, it’ll take on this life of its own, which I had no way of predicting, … like all of these individuals are coming together into this much bigger collective individual.

SC: Yeah, there’s a component of discovering the universal in the particular. And perhaps only within the particular.

SR: Yeah. That resonates with me, definitely.

SC: Yes, and it’s captured in the paintings. They do evoke that.

SR: Great!

SC: Music and food are both quite prominent throughout. I love the closing painting in 2 Samuel: “David and all the house of Israel played before the Lord on all manner of instruments.”

In that painting, there’s a keyboard. It’s kind of like a rock performance. Are the paintings that reference music (and there’s a few of them) suggesting anything about music as an art form, and, perhaps, the relationship between music and “good orderly direction” or flow?

SR: Yeah, music played such a big part in the Old Testament, it was on so many of the pages. I had to deal with music in some way. And it’s self-referential in some ways. Before this project I’d played a lot of music, heavily, for probably about five years. It was one of my main outlets, besides painting.

SC: What kind of style?

SR: It kind of started off as a finger-picky, blues kind of thing … some Mississippi John Hurt kind of thing, but then from there it just got more electric guitar-lead, and weird. Experimental, but a little bluesy still. It’s hard to explain. It’s kind of like these paintings if they were music. People have told me that the feel and the themes continue between my forms of expression.

[Robertson’s band PUNY put out a record called The Sports Store, which is the soundtrack to these interviews and can be found on bandcamp here.

SC: In this particular painting [from 2 Samuel], it’s almost like a depiction of entering into the good orderly direction or flow, and music is facilitating or fostering that, in that moment.

SR: Yeah, definitely. That makes sense.

SC: Let’s now direct our attention to the very first painting, for Genesis 1.

SR: Yeah.

SC: Is it fair to say that this painting preceded the project, but then it ended up kind of steering the project too?

SR: Yes.

SC: Can you explain how?

SR: That’s some of that “good orderly direction” right there, because it was just a painting that I made in a series of unrelated paintings … Then I realized I was going to be doing this project, and I read that passage, about God giving man dominion over all the animals…

SC: [reading] “over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth on the earth…”

SR: Yeah! Then, I found myself focusing on what is done with that dominion. And what is your relationship, then, with the animals, and what have you chosen to do with this order? Then, fast-forward three millennia or whatever to the “rodeo” relationship with animals, where it’s, like, sport and game mixed in with livestock for eating, this very morally-confusing relationship to all the wild beasts, using them for our entertainment and stuff … The rodeo was just kind of fascinating to think about, so that was the picture that steered a lot of the direction, especially of the first three books, where there’s the focus on the cowboy, just kind of like this dusty feel.

SC: Yes, in Genesis 21:8, Abraham’s making a great feast… There’s lots of hamburgers.

SR: Oh, yeah, and spaghetti.

SC: Let’s keep on focusing on the food and ethics overlap … You have an ethical commitment to non-violence. This passage on dominion over animals seems to be an entry point that you discovered, where you could engage with this text as yourself …Could you expand a little bit more on your personal ethos of non-violence, your concern about how humans treat other animals, and discovering a way into this project there [through Genesis 1.28]?

SR: Yeah. It’s more sort of like as a bystander … kind of like I have a sense of how that relationship could be vastly improved, how much waste it produces and how inhumane it is to all the animals. I understand the horrible impact of agriculture … so it’s reflective of all that without being, like, “I don’t do that.”

SC: Rather than looking down on—and judging—other humans, it seems more like you’re recognizing the energy in this passage here, of an invitation to step into greater responsibility.

SR: Yeah, I can see that.

SC: The focus on what’s being eaten keeps on recurring, obviously, both in the Old Testament and in the passages that you’re drawing attention to. A couple more that do that are this one from Leviticus, where it’s like a student is being educated about which animals it’s OK to eat, and a second painting here—in Deuteronomy, 13:40—where there’s a focus on the clean fowls that you may eat, so the birds are being cleaned. What draws you to those passages, that relate to cleanliness and purification in relation to what we’re eating?

SR: Well, part of that is… those early passages are flooded with direction about how to prepare and what foods to eat, what not to eat. So, part of it was unavoidable … and what seemed like it would produce an interesting painting.

SC: … There’s a number of other paintings where you’re picking up on passages related to cleanliness. There’s this green water in one painting, and as these humans are addressed and told to be clean, there’s a strong sense of these humans in this green water feeling shame …

So, you have this concern about looking down on other humans … and here we have humans feeling that they are not clean, that they’re not pure. They’re feeling ashamed because of that. There’s quite a few paintings, I think, where shame is being depicted in that way. Can you expand on that anymore?

SR: I feel like those are interesting passages to read, about people going astray, then “coming to,” with God being upset at them, and then just, like, dissecting what that means, to have gone astray…

SC: Thinking about sin as just “missing the mark,” that’s—I think—one translation of what sin is, and then being aware of having missed the mark. Obviously, then shame can arise. And other transformative things can occur, depending on what happens next. I think there are various paintings that are aware of what might happen next, and about how universal those kinds of moments are, where we’re aware of having missed the mark … and what now? And how can we show up in a way where that awareness is channelled in a good orderly direction? As opposed to succumbing to shame…

SR: Yeah. It’s a very common human feeling, especially in the process of going from a child to an adult. You have internal pressures that make you want to do certain things, and then society or what-you’re-told-God-is is frowning on you, and you have to reassess and redirect, based on what’s OK with you.

SC: As we near the end of our journey through the book, I’d like to home in on your description of your journey, creating the book, as having been “very transformative, serious, and seriously long.” Again, seven years … and you experienced a transformation, and you experienced a shift into greater responsibility [Robertson became a father and took on a new trade], the very thing that’s referred to in that opening passage. Do you have any further thoughts on how the discipline and the practice of your commitment to this particular creative project naturally facilitated growth, as an alternative to the shame? Do you have any final thoughts on how your commitment to this creative endeavour naturally led to an experience of growth and maturing, not just random growth, but evolution?

SR: … One really pivotal painting was Lamentations 2:10. It’s of this beached whale … and there’s all these people still in their bathing suits, with pool party gear and a water slide, and, again, they’re all in shame, hanging their heads in shame. They’re just trying to keep on going, even though there’s this beached whale that’s taken away their steam… There’s this proverbial beached whale on all of our doorsteps now.

That was a pivotal piece because I was, like, should I even continue this or should I redirect my energy elsewhere?

SC: But you did remain committed to the practice that you’d begun, and it seems to me that you were talking about having emerged from completing this process with new commitments and a new sense of responsibility. I think one way in which that manifests is in your creative ideas about how to honor your creative project. The door-to-door salesman component. As we begin to wrap up, could you say a little bit more about where you’re at at the moment, how you’re still harnessing your creativity at this “sharing” stage?

SR: I guess I’m trying to do things like this and figure out how to express what this project is and what it meant to me. I guess during the project it was more based on feeling, like I was saying earlier. So now the next step is figuring out what this really means, how it can get into the world and what that can do. Yes, I want to sell it door-to-door. I mean, I wanted to sell a lot of copies that way, but knowing where people are at, partially because of the pandemic, partially just not trusting anyone coming to your door, trying to sell you something, it’s such a different time than it was in the 50s or 60s…

SC: Hence the intention of wearing a suit from the 60s. It’s almost like it’s a performance art piece, which is also a genuine endeavour to actually sell the book.

SR: Yeah! I definitely want to sell some that way, and the hope is that if it actually works out then it’ll be like an actual job on top of the performance art piece. But then I also have the idea to make a radio drama-style podcast about it, where part of it is actual conversations I’m having with people on the doorsteps, with, like, a hidden microphone. Which is legal. I’ve researched it. It’d be just audio, not video. Everyone’s anonymous, but it’d be like my efforts as a salesman interwoven with some other recurring characters … I haven’t had the time to really dig into what form this is going to take, but I feel like there’s a lot of potential in that setting…

SC: There is! The podcast would be about human connection, the presence or absence of it. You would be placing yourself within the narrative in a new, exciting and powerful way.

SR: There’s even a couple of self-referencing door-to-door salesman scenes in the book, so I kind of painted myself into it that way too.

SC: You’ll be emerging as One sales-man on behalf of all of the paintings and all of the stories. I think there’s something really interesting going on there. As you’re making the podcast, please reach out if you’d like some assistance with it…

SR: Well, I’ll need all the help I can get so I’ll definitely call on you.

SC: We’re connected now! Human connection.

SR: Yeah, definitely.

SC: Exciting. Yeah, I love this. And the themes we’ve been talking about are very much recurring themes in the first Back to the City book, Her Hummingbird Heart. It’s about harnessing creativity with Sarah Morris, Julia Cameron, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, and Brené Brown. Are you familiar with any of those?

SR: I’ve heard of Brené Brown before.

SC: Brené Brown is a sociologist who reseraches shame.

SR: Awesome. Yes, I’ve definitely heard of her.

SC: And a lot of what we’ve been discussing today, regarding awareness about missing the mark, and alternatives to the self-abnegation that could follow from that, and the connection between that and violence. The fact that you’ve managed to illustrate the Old Testament with so few depictions of violence, and without feeding shame, but, rather, with a focus on integration. Owning these different components of the story. Realizing that you belong in the story, and are now transforming into the door-to-door salesman character, who will honor that work, and not just your work but the work of the humans. Because, you know, we’re pretty lovable at the end of the day, if we look at ourselves in a certain light.

SR: You’re so good at making these connections. I can’t wait to hear more about your thoughts about these connections and what this project—which I don’t know what it means—what it means.

SC: I want to help you with the podcast.

SR: Thank you so much.

SC: We’ll do that!

SR: Yes!

SC: and then we can have a very meta “Part 2.”

SR: Yes!

SC: where you interview me about our podcast.

SR: That’d be awesome. Thank you Simon. You put me at ease. I’m not much of a talker, so thank you for putting so much of your soul into generating the questions and being present. It was awesome.

SC: Yeah! I really enjoyed it too! We’re connected! We’re at ease. We belong. It’s all relative, but we hit some marks.

SR: And I want to see your book when it comes out. That’s really exciting.

SC: Watch this space! One last time, how can people access your book if you don’t happen to show up at their door in salesman mode?

SR: Right! I wouldn’t bank on that because there’s, like, nine billion people in the world. 11:11 Press. That’s the publisher. Check their other work out too, because they’re awesome.

 

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. Today the most excellent writer Grant Maierhofer introduces you to Sam Robertson’s Illustrated Old Testament!, a truly remarkable upcoming book/project that I’m lucky enough to already have in my keeping in pdf form. See for yourselves, but it’s quite something, and my own nigh recommendation goes hand in hand with Grant’s, and much gratitude to him for choosing this humble abode as his/its venue. ** Maria, Isabella, Camila, Malaria, Gabriela, Hi. Me too, not strangely to say at all. Ah, tomato, mystery solved. I might have pizza tonight, and I will ask the waiter for extra sonata and see what happens. ** Verity Pawloski, Thank you, sleuth! ** David Ehrenstein, Happy almost birthday, sir! Robert Gluck just turned 75 not two days ago. You guys are that age’s ideal travel agents. Not that I’m in a rush, mind you. Do something super special tomorrow! ** Misanthrope, You have the best mom. Well, in that respect at the very least. Oops, about the folded press, but obviously great luck landing the new target. Let me know. ** Dominik, Hi!!! It’s been a while since I made that post, but I’m pretty sure I just lifted those comments straight from youtube. No doubt I left out the boring positive ones, ha ha. I’m sure I already mentioned that, when I found something I’d been looking for, my mom would always say, ‘Been a snake it would’ve bit you.’ That’s another one. There are tons, and I’ll try to leak them out when appropriate. You would own TikTok, I’m pretty sure. No, your poor love. An empty chocolate egg! Unimaginably sad. Love biting into a Kinder Surprise egg only to quickly realise the package he took it from had been sitting on the store’s shelf for 20 years, G. ** _Black_Acrylic, Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry. It’s all happened so fast. The shock, the confusion, the grief, it must be so hard. I don’t know what I can possibly do, but if there’s anything at all that I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to tell me. For now, immense sadness and love to you, dear friend. ** Toniok, Thank you, Tonio. ** David, My taste kind of goes out the window when it comes to disaster movies, and I hear it’s crappy, but fuck the naysayers. I do like cleaning my apartment on those extremely rare days when I can be bothered. Storm? We’re very still over here. ** Steve Erickson, Indeed. Excellent news about your crashing through writers’ block. Feels so great, no? I still haven’t seen the Radu Jude, but I still intend to. ** wolf, Dude!!!! No, I didn’t know. I’m in this rampaging GbV fan group on Facebook, and they didn’t even seem to know, which is weird because normally they’ll post every time Pollard takes a deep breath. Anyway, that was kind of thrilling. Thank you, thank you. That is a good sequence, and, hm, I too can’t imagine where it would lead next while maintaining its high and consistent quality. No doubt some punter would suggester David Sylvian, but I’m not a big fan. You guys should come over to see the big two-venue Charles Ray retrospective at the Pompidou and Pinault. It just opened yesterday, and it’s completely amazing. And then, you know, there’s me with open arms and a winsome smile too. ** l@rst, Kinder eggs don’t have a whole of impactful staying power, god love them. But nice packaging (sometimes). Hey ma, I’m in The Quietus! No, really! ** Brian, Hey, Brian. There’s something very … something or other about unboxing videos in general. I always seem to stop on them. Well, you did go far afield, which is almost always the right approach to almost everything. Quite a combo, obvs. I got sidelined and didn’t watch ‘Drive My Car’ yesterday, but I have to watch it by Saturday, so today or tomorrow. Hope you get through all the stress and busyness in the next 48. Well, hope not needed, since you will, and then all of that will be, ugh, ‘dust in the wind’. Shocked that phrase came to my mind. Charge! ** TJ, It’s all about channeling, right? I feel like everything I do is a channeling of something that could go awry otherwise. Gosh, there are so many ways to deal with a stalled piece of fiction. The main thing is, other than trashing it, there are no bad options in my experience. Stick it in a drawer for months, raid it for the good bits, google translate it into a foreign language and then google translate it back and see if it sparkles more. Right now I’m going through old, unfinished drafts of things and pulling out salvageable-seeming stuff and seeing if I can make something out of them, so obviously I’m on board with that approach. ** Bill, Right, I guess the escorts are soothing, aren’t they, now that you mention it. I guess if one were desperate to fuck them, they wouldn’t be. ‘Willow Springs’: do I know that one? Maybe not, Huh. I’ll put on my goggles. ** Okay. You already know that you’re being introduced to a fascinating imminent book, so please go back to perusing the hints. See you tomorrow.

Kinder Surprise Egg Unboxing Day *

* (restored)

 

‘Unwrapping Kinder Surprise eggs is an epic trend on YouTube that continues to increase. Using the Octoly system, we tracked a total of 5.1 billion all-time views of videos about Kinder eggs, and the rate of views appears to be increasing. In November, we tracked no less than 489 million views of Kinder egg videos.

‘99.99% of the views of Kinder eggs on YouTube are on videos made by independent creators, rather than the brand itself. At Octoly we call this a “love brand,” where fans are so excited by the product that they will make videos and watch millions of YouTube views about the products, whether the brand is involved or not.

‘Some observers say that the popularity of these videos is partly due to something called ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, which is a new popular term that essentially means that the sound of the unwrapping tinfoil makes you feel good. Or maybe the videos succeed because they a combination of several things kids like: chocolate, toys, and the surprise of multi-layer unwrappings. Here are the steps in a standard egg unwrapping:

‘Examine the original Kinder Surprise wrapped tinfoil. It’s largely white. Unwrap the tinfoil to find the chocolate egg. Break the egg open. It splits easily in half. Discover that it has white chocolate inside and there is a yellow plastic container inside. Eat a bit of the chocolate. Open plastic yellow container. Peer inside to see what you found. Reveal what the toy is by plucking it out. Play with toy. Repeat billions of times.

‘The U.S. makes up more than half of the audience for Kinder eggs, totalling 2.8 billion views. But unfortunately these views are not driving sales. The Kinder chocolate eggs are considered illegal contraband in the U.S. due to worries that kids might choke on the toys. In 2011, U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized more than 60,000 Kinder Eggs from travelers’ baggage and international mail shipments. There is a potential fine of more than $2,500 per egg.’ — REELSEO

 

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12 Surprise Eggs Toy Story Kinder Surprise Eggs Unboxing

40,983,874 plays

ImperiaToys2 months ago
Nice surprises ))) I liked it!!!

Muhammad Suhaimi Abu Hassan1 month ago
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jimmy russell4 months ago
how does this have 40 million views?

Leah Baker5 months ago
Robbin willams died yesterday

 

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Pocoyo Kinder Surprise Egg Unboxing

7,879,614 plays

Tahmid Hai3 months ago
I love pocoyo watch somuch,.

annabel galindez9 months ago
i love pocoyo i watch that on my tv

 

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2 Kinder Surprise Maxi Christmas Eggs Unboxing

13,860,063 plays

jowee padolina7 months ago
Not to cool but awesome

Ahmed Bani-Mustafa11 months ago
Wow nice airplane!!!

Itsme Crofty1 year ago
dude… lose your enthusiasum plz… no offense

Shotayto1 year ago
Why is everyone hating on him for the way he does videos? He’s supporting a heart disease foundation and does this to entertain children. He acts excited because he wants the children watching to know that he is upbeat and fun loving.

CoPpErPiLlZ1 year ago
oh my god! i was watching this and got the biggest shock of my life that little girl looks exactly like i did when i was little no joke she looks exactly the same no difference at all 0.0 my god i never thought i would meet anyone that looked like me :O i can’t stop watching this im gob smacked O.O

 

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2 Kinder Surprise Eggs Unboxing

33,428 plays

LonitaBricks2 years ago
wow great toy


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10 Surprise Eggs Unboxing Kinder Surprise

39,457,390 plays

SurpriseEggsToys for Kids3 hours ago
lovely surprisess

ToyScouter1 month ago MARKED AS SPAM
I haven’t seen a lot of Toy Story surprise eggs – this was a good surprise 🙂

Jamie gaming92 months ago
How lucky are wee finding that giant red bird

Bethany Shephard1 month ago
Relly happy

 

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12 Ben10 Surprise Easter Eggs with Kinder Playdoh Surprise Egg Unboxing

5,526,026 plays

dilcia Arias2 months ago
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kimha ho4 months ago
um i want to ask is that do you guys eat the chocolate?

FlipYard5 months ago
NukeNorway

THE DIAMOND PIG BIG FACE!7 months ago
Boo you suck you should get a docter quike

 

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Kinder Surprise Egg Unboxing Christmas Special (Ultra Super Rare Collections)

2,595,007 plays

Sydney Stenman7 months ago
I don’t know if you speak English, but I think if you are going to do a review of old kinder chocolate, you should probably wear plastic doctors gloves.

monstertruck6111 month ago
+paws27 Chocolate cant harm you unless it’s about 30+ years old. I don’t know why he said to wear gloves.

DinoSoCalKayaking4 weeks ago
Add some music

The Maid3 months ago
I ate it when am in elementary then it stop selling I think at 4th grade 🙁

 

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12 Surprise Eggs Unboxing Eggs Kinder Surprise

8,842,415 plays

iSuperFusionZx1 year ago
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Rell1 year ago
I liked the vid. But I am wondering if this is for targeting little boys and girls and not grown adults like me. xD

aggreyd711 year ago
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i want you to unbox more angry birds eggs!

Hoyt Volker1 year ago
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40 Surprise Eggs Unwrapping Kinder Surprise

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matha ramirez1 week ago
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Play-Doh Ice Cream Cone Kinder Surprise Eggs Unboxing

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jeffmara1 month ago
Great Ice Cream Cone Surprises!

hobbieshobbies2 weeks ago
Surprise mania, so cool!

Ha Lam2 weeks ago
Shark

 

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KINDER SURPRISE EGGS!!! Let’s Crack ‘Em Open!

1,527,902 plays

pam phimmarath1 day ago
What happened to you evan

beyblade6 days ago
Does evan have a girlfriend I do and I am only 11 and my girlfriends name is Ria and she is 11 to

sfighter001 week ago
I first heard of these Kinders from a weird commercial featuring a (I hope you don’t mind me saying this term) “Suicidal” Humpty Dumpty. Really cool you got to obtain some.

Dylan Thomas1 week ago
Hey even do u have an instagram because if you do could I follow you please I think you and your vids are AWESOME!

 

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60 Surprise eggs Kinder Surprise Unboxing

112,260,278 plays

FreeMMOStation5 months ago
These videos are the only thing that make my bay daughter eat lunch and dinner peacefully 😀

Toys and Eggs TV2 months ago
Like for Kinder Santa Claus egg! It’s great! =)

ihkhan831 month ago
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9 Surprise Eggs Unboxing Kinder Surprise

9,810,495 plays

Chaina Patalano11 months ago
where do you get those my mom and me want to know because I watch you it inspires me to get some 😉 B)

Daisy Frisch1 year ago
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only1manga1 year ago
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BFDI ice cube1 year ago
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7 Big Kinder Surprise Eggs Explosion !!!

763,612 plays

anish gandla22 minutes ago
hey the explosion is graphic

Ponzified5 months ago
Hahahahahaha the chupa chups exploaded oh noooooo lol love that part when sammie was laughing about it he was sooooooooo adorable and cute awwwww :))))) do you know what I want for Christmas??? I want a skylanders swap force guy I just need one more guy from skylanders swap force to complete my game and same as sam the disney infinity :))))

ciosings5 months ago
Can you do a video of sammies room? 🙂
I would love to see it !

Cindy Duran4 months ago
Did that really explode or is it special effects

 

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12 Easter Kinder Surprise Bunny Rabbit Army Toys Easter Eggs Mega Unboxing

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Zaynab Baker7 months ago
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Kinder Surprise Unboxing9 months ago
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Matt Klein9 months ago
I like how you actually inbox kinder unlike all the fake videos, thanks!

Pita masson9 months ago
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80 Kinder Surprise Eggs Unboxing

190,500,982 plays

Surprise Eggs Play Ground2 months ago
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I never get bored of watching this video! Great surprises! 🙂

Trinidad Menares1 day ago
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

Макс Александров4 days ago
21:54 kill me please

Andrea Malone6 days ago
How much do they cost

 

 

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p.s. Hey. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. Panicking is certainly completely understandable, and I’m so happy to hear that your Dad turned out to be doing okay. Stay as strong as you can be, man. Which is very strong, knowing you. Love, me. ** David Ehrenstein, Your linked-to video was not available, but I’m going to guess it was PSB related? ** Misanthrope, Are we? Or are they fakers who couldn’t fake your discerning eye? We will never know. Or you won’t least, ha ha. Do your own shit, man, what the hell. How’s the book with Callum coming for instance? ** the real G, You’re the real G. Thank goodness. I’m sure I will (enjoy your antho. entry)! Oh, wow, thanks for foisting ‘Oliver Twink’ off on your people. If I manage to pull a book together, it’ll be a lot shorter than ‘Ugly Man’. But the shorter the better in my weird book. I’m good, thanks. Enjoy the week off. I did do a Claude Cahun post, I think on my old blog, which I haven’t restored yet, and which I will go hunt down and gussy up. Yeah, she’s great. I’m happy you liked this month’s rentable guys. All credit to them, I’m just their sheep herder and line editor. OrderyourBitch is impressive, yes. Hm, I haven’t looked at Chalamet closely enough to see him in others. But I believe you! Thanks, thanks! ** Dominik, Hi!!! Yeah, I know it’s weird that I don’t like Nutella. I’d never eaten it until I came here, so maybe that’s part of it. Whenever I eat it, I’m kind of like, ‘Why are you so afraid to just be chocolate?’ Ha ha. Yeah, I think jib is about clothes/appearance. My mom used to say that. I think it must have come from some ancient TV show. She was always using phrases that had been trendy to say at one time in the past, and they inevitably came from TV. Like she always said, ‘T’aint funny, McGee’. And I was like, ‘What?’ But then I looked it up, and it was from some now-obscure TV show called ‘Fibber McGee and Molly’. That yin and yang comment was so complicated, no? I liked it, natch. You unboxing love on TikTok, G. ** David, Still haven’t seen the ‘Matrix’. First I need to see ‘Moonfall’. I don’t think there are Wait-Roses here. What a strange name. Anyway, touche on the gotcha. Waiting in line to suck some guy’s dick seems so quaint or something. But I’m used to the crazy slaves. ** wolf, Wolfie!!! Oh, wow, how cool that my Pollard worship made it into the Quietus. Wow. Thanks for clueing me in pal. Everyone, You probably don’t want to read me detailing why Robert Pollard is such a genius, but, if you do, my Pollard-lionizing verbiage is quoted in an article about Guided by Voice in The Quietus right here alongside similar paiens by Steven Soderberg and Ric Ocasek. Hubba hubba! How are you, my buddy? What’s up, what’s up? Love, me. ** Maria, Isabella, Camila, Malaria, Gabriela, I don’t know what sonata is. I just did a search for ‘pizza Sonata’, and all I got was a whole bunch of pizza restaurants called Sonata Pizza. I’m assuming it has nothing to do with the musical Sonata. Anyway, fuck those people for ruining your pizza! Who did they think they were?! ** TJ Sandel, Hi. Good question. Suckers maybe? Just a guess. How’s your Wednesday, TJ? ** LC, Hi. Yeah, they’re good at amusement parks, and their parks have a particulate kind of, mm, flavor (?), that’s hard to describe. I think the Zipper is a gorgeous entity, but one couldn’t pay me enough to get in one. I have an obnoxious motion sickness problem. Not on roller coasters, etc. but on any ride that goes in circles horizontally or vertically. Sucks! I love carnivals, or, as they call them over here, ‘fete foraine’. ** Brian, Hey, Brian. That explains it, and how funny or something that on your explanation day you end up second to last! Which film did you watch? What happened to brain when you watched whichever one you did? I think I’m watching ‘Drive My Car’ today. We’ll see. I hope your Wednesday knocks it out of the park, and ‘it’ can be whatever you want to have exit the park. ** T, Indeed! TomSawyerAdventurer should have won some kind of prize. Maybe I should start awarding prizes to the best escorts. But they would presumably never know, so what would be the point. Never mind. Those ‘weird faces made with punctuation symbols’ are Japanese emojis. You can find dictionary-like websites that have zillions of them. Yeah, they’re very cool, but then, you know, Japan = def., cool. I think you made a wise decision in your ultimate Wednesday wish. And now mine has to try to live up to it. Interesting dilemma. May your Wednesday shrink the Louvre down to the size of a sugarcube and throw it at a cop and then run away like mad. xo. ** Okay. I restored today’s formerly dead post because I find it kind of weirdly soothing, and I thought you guys might like to be soothed by my blog for a day. But I could be wrong. See you tomorrow.

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