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HolidayHam, 19
Reserve a seat at the table?

Comments

Stevebron – Jan 23, 2025
Breathing is overrated.

whenwherehowhigh – Jan 21, 2025
Hello I’m Mark and I’m the owner of The Logistics Company. I am a hard-working and driven individual who isn’t afraid to face a challenge.

HolidayHam (Owner) – Jan 20, 2025
Only slide in my DMs if you want to eat him.

Goingunder – Jan 20, 2025
I once paid 100$ to eat his dirty asshole and drink his piss, so I’ll be there in spirit.

HolidayHam (Owner) – Jan 20, 2025
He was an escort who had several 5 Star reviews.

LiamScott – Jan 19, 2025
Well that explains more than a few things.

 

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ILikeYou, 18
I love to be next to my girlfriend to watch when she is fucked by another guy.
We are looking for an adequately hung and understanding person.
I also want to be fucked by him but don’t tell my girlfriend I asked for that.
That has to seem like it’s his decision.
We want to Skype with you before we meet so that we can be sure you won’t murder us.
We can do it at my place after 4pm most days.

Comments

ILikeYou (Owner) – Jan 15, 2025
The date with rape_you_now did my head in a little, because it felt like the beginning of an exit strategy from my girlfriend and partly because she didn’t care that I was being treated like a piece of meat. It really did a number on my head. If I am honest I think it was her cowardly way to dump me.

rape_you_now – Jan 13, 2025
Ignore his innocent voyeur act, after you do his girl he’s a cock-hungry twink looking for hard sex. You can penetrate him recklessly and pump him full. His only taboo I could find is he won’t let you near his cock which nonetheless spurted three times on its own accord.

 

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ViolentAstrology, 19
Im very 1970s looking, quirky, different, emaciated, long hair, go with the flow, Doc Marten BOOTS, yea all dat stuff. Oh & butt slut rite.

Comments

LetsDoSomeKidnapping – Jan 20, 2025
I’ve got him at my place and I’m giving him poppers every 2-3 minutes to keep him horny and dull and I want to turn him into something I’ve craved for him to be for over 2 years. Can someone help me?

SSAIDSPIG – Jan 18, 2025
SSieg heil pig get your kunt on Skype my name on there AIDS PIG easy.

ViolentAstrology (Owner) – Jan 18, 2025
Can we chat on Skype?

SSAIDSPIG – Jan 18, 2025
BLOOD SSlam BLOOD fucking NAZI AIDS STI pig wantS your kunt.

ViolentAstrology (Owner) – Jan 14, 2025
If I am not your type, no offense taken. I am not my type either, so I assume that anyone who acts interested in me is likely trying to play games with me, and I do not believe them until we actually hook-up. So if you are one of those people who likes to play games, you won’t get the gratification you are looking for. The only people that fool me are the guys that are actually interested. And though it does not happen often, it is a great way to be fooled.

Punishuinmycar – Jan 12, 2025
I’ve hooked up with him a few times. He’s tall, skinny. Fat urchin face. Tastes of cigarettes. Nasty fucker. Always rim his hole first. Kiss him so he can taste his arse on my lips. Shove my big mushroom head deep inside and move it around. And I always give him a hole full of cum and make him shit it out so I can eat it later.

 

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pingjingjian, 23
Chinese guy into beheading and dismemberment of Chinese teen boys. Anyone from China that shares the same interests, please leave your contact here. It’s really hard to find another one with such interests in China.

Comments

sunzhongyuan – Jan 16, 2025
I just like the teen gangbang rape to death and impale the ass.

ww320617642165 – Jan 16, 2025
I like to dissect Chinese teen muscles

Crushh – Jan 16, 2025
I thing it will be fun I like it in poun bun never did anything like that before so I’m going to find someone to do it what do you guys think is someone going to snoff me

zhy1102 – Jan 16, 2025
I have gallery, we can exchange.

lvChina – Jan 16, 2025
I love death and alive of young China boy + behead, dismemberment + sentense to death young China boy. Beheading video of China boys are best!!

XiongTu – Jan 16, 2025
I’m XiongTu but i only like the teen body complete.

 

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acquiredmeat, 18
Oink! Me new piggy here, skinny and kinda dumb, but super eager to learn all the nasty pig tricks! Want BF or dudes to teach me how to be the filthiest, silliest pig on earth.

I love rolling in piss, sloppy spit, musk, piggy pubes, sloppy deepthroat, butt juices, making oinky noises, eating from bowls like a good pig, and snorting up all sorts of fun. If you like training a dumb pig to be even piggier, more disgusting, and the happiest, nastiest pig in the sty then you found your pig!

I know that isn’t very well thought out.

Comments

londonenglishteacher – Jan 11, 2025
52 years old, British, live in London, qualified TEFL English teacher. Looking for boys aged 12-18 who want to improve their English. Only contact me if you are serious about improving your English.

acquiredmeat (Owner) – Jan 10, 2025
I say pspsps to trashbags bc my eyes suck oink.

Hitchwood – Jan 8, 2025
Things I have personally done to his cock: Crush it with weights. Use brushes on its head. Put it in a hot dog bun with mustard. Shake and twirl it fast and hard. Pour custard over it. Shove it in a cheesecake.

 

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weirdboy, 19
I’m a pathetic low life McDonalds employee ♡ it’s OK if people might recognize this lowly guy from the McDonalds.
Usually i’m shy & quiet in person, here’s whats inside my mind.
I’m mainly looking for guys to play out my dark morbid roleplay fantasies of being a corpse & photograph me acting like it (I can reimbur$e!)!
Go ahead & share photos of my performance after & denounce how truly pathetic this McDonalds employee is.
I’ll do deepthroating but my corpse wil gag & puke if you are fine with it ^///^

Comments

wristfulthinking – Jan 13, 2025
His “corpse” has a very high sex drive and it’s not easy to satisfy it, so don’t wait for it to relax and chill out because it never will.

curiousbutnervous – Jan 9, 2025
Sorry to quibble but it’s more like he’s in a coma and has been taken off life support.

weirdboy (Owner) – Jan 4, 2025
I’m also an Epileptic so I don’t drive. I’d say my Epilepsy makes me very dependent, so it’s a good thing I’m cute. Also former smoker & alcoholic.

Alaska89 – Jan 2, 2025
I work 7-4 as an autopsy assistant and I thank him for letting me experience something that I had always subconsciously thought about and wanted.

 

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coupleofgoonypervs, 19
We like relationship between boys and father.
Strict, violent father.
Only looking for ages 50 and up
We love poppers a lot, we do not have any ourself because the effect is very powerful on us, no matter how many times we are made to sniff it, you will see, it is extremely effective on us. Extremely.
Will we ever find love again?

Comments

URN4atreat – Jan 11, 2025
I’m not in love.

URN4atreat – Jan 10, 2025
Into my 5th hour with the remaining boy now, learning as I go.

Mydickinyou – Jan 9, 2025
I’ve taken ownership of the shorter one and no one will ever see him again.

coupleofgoonypervs (Owner) – Jan 6, 2025
We develop ourselves through self-development.

DrainYou – Jan 6, 2025
Looking forward to make you boys insane.

FlawedKing – Jan 1, 2025
These two bad boys need someone to teach them a lesson and absolutely blister and shred their behinds. They need to live the rest of their lives with horror movie props in the seats of their jeans.

 

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I_made_u_cum, 23
Just found out that an ex boyfriend called Bobby became a cadaver at 23. Strangled by a rough trick. Cute 80s rock star hair and face, big cock and perfect ass. I collect photos of guys who’ve died young and can’t believe I have his photos now in that folder although when we had sex I always imagined him dead. He was 18 at the time.

Comments

itzzzdark – Jan 8, 2025
Dead but presumably still gorgeous.

I_made_u_cum (Owner) – Jan 8, 2025
That is the hottest thing I have read in my life.

ilovelonghair – Jan 8, 2025
i have been dealing with a bronchial pneumonia for over a week. i now believe–and i know this is the sort of stufff fundies say–that this came from God. i had been talking to some guys six months ago about whatever his real name was. van holein is what they called him. supposedly he was going to party and get fucked by them and then ‘crash’ at my place where i was going to snuff him. i was not going to do this, and i hope you will allow me to say something of my religious beliefs without disssing me.. i cannot get past the reality that murder is one of the ten commandments. i hope i would have felt this way 20 years ago when i did snuff another boy, but now, at 76, i am just not going to endanger my soul. again, i say all this mainly to tell you how i almost snuffed him.

AllNightBallsDeep – Jan 7, 2025
I remember Bobby. We used to call him Van Hole-In.

RodDallas – Jan 7, 2025
Getting fucked without getting snuffed is like food without taste, why bother.

I_make_u_cum (Owner) – Jan 7, 2025
Before he died one of his tricks seriously fucked up his legs, and he used a cane to walk, and he would say deal with it or F OFF.

partying.hard – Jan 7, 2025
Not really my type, but I get shivers through my balls and up my spine when I think of someone killing him!

 

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joshthebest, 20
hey! how y’all doing?🙃 i’m josh, i was studying to be a scientist but I was too dumb so now i have a master who makes my dick sooo hungry and loves seeing me losing all control of myself and controlling me to be a sex slave for the masses and to share me around as a public use slut and there are thousands of pics of me floating around somewhere so do the math, and i’m the motherfucking best, END OF THE STORY!

Comments

aceinthehole – Jan 24, 2025
He is very, very much into being hooded like holy shit ga DAYUM
Uh
His dick kinda big lol
I wasn’t really into his body hair
That is all

The_SLAMMER – Jan 21, 2025
Would you like to host an SLAM party with joshthebest but have no experience with injections? I can help you and provide the service you are looking for. I offer support with injections and make sure that everything is done hygienically – without bruises, injection errors or other problems. You can rely on my experience. I just need a quiet spot where I can observe while the party is taking place and step in whenever the urge strikes.

Azaelyn – Jan 14, 2025
My name’s Azaelyn (not legally but I’d like to work on that lol) and ever since I sort of deep dived into my hornier side Josh (his real name is Pablo) has been a big part of that, though I can’t say a quality part.

alessandrolopez – Jan 13, 2025
Don’t message me unless you’re 6ish+ years younger than you say. It’s just not gonna happen. And you’re gonna need a safe word.

 

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straightboy, 21
Hello future Master, I consider myself to be 100% completely straight, but I’ve always been fascinated with the idea of straight boys being broken down into faggots. Ideally, I want to be broken down into a no limits total faggot object slave. If you are interested in this please reach out to me and I hope that we can set something up.

Comments

Hornyg5618 – Jan 12, 2025
I was very drunk and ended up doing summat with this drunk boy that I shouldn’t ov

straightboy (Owner) – Jan 11, 2025
Now.

good4you – Jan 9, 2025
Just out of curiosity, when do you anticipate being drunk again?

straightboy (Owner) – Jan 9, 2025
Ok, I was drunk when I wrote that.

masseurforstraightboys – Jan 7, 2025
I PAY 150 PER HOUR TO YOU, AND I WILL GIVE YOU MASSAGE IN HOT OIL. THIS IS MY HOBBY. DURING THE MASSAGE, I WILL, AS PART OF THE OILY MASSAGE, BLOW YOUR BIG DICK AND LICK AND SUCK YOUR ASS, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, JUST LIE ON THE BED AND ENJOY THE MUSIC OF YOUR CHOICE OR YOU CAN WATCH YOUR FAVOURITE PORN VIDEO ON THE BIG SCREEN NEXT TO THE BED. YOU GET THIS MONEY FROM ME, BECAUSE OF THE AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME AND BECAUSE YOU ARE STRAIGHT AND LOOK VERY VERY GOOD. NO VIDEO, NO CAMERA IN MY APARTMENT, ONLY IN THE LIFTS AND CORRIDORS OF THE BUILDING, FOR SECURITY REASONS. I HAVE TIME ONLY AT 1.30 OR 3 AM ON MOST NIGHTS.

 

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IllBegYa, 18
Young skinny gay who hates his life, hates my parents who drink and like my perfect brother much better. I want a secret life where I can be sold for snuff porn. I get good grades in high school and know what I am getting myself into. I want an older mature dom who needs a slave to kill, or someone who can sell me to a cannibal or someone who is just crazy about murdering a volunteer. I know quite a few places here in Austin plus an older man who is also into snuff but as a spectator. We can still be with him with a large garden located out in a forest. If I am too young I have a friend online who is 30 and also wants the same as me.

Comments

Drone – Jan 20, 2025
Drone Says Hello

commanderuk – Jan 18, 2025
The urination of a boy while being hung during his death throes is sexually arousing for many men. I would suggest forcing him to drink a can or two of beer to fill his bladder before ending his existence.

DeanStone – Jan 15, 2025
I am still searching…ready to travel. You won’t fulfill my dream?

DeanStone – Jan 11, 2025
I am SERIOUSLY searching for a boy that I can kill by headshot with a big caliber revolver while I’m fucking him. I am in Germany but ready to travel to Austin.

IllBegYa (Owner) – Jan 11, 2025
Maybe as a last resort.

DeliciousCock4U – Jan 11, 2025
Or you could run away from home and live with a man (me) who would have sex with you all the time and cover your expenses.

 

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idontknowdude, 24
Im a cute bi dude looking to get fed shit by a man. Sit on my face and use my mouth as ur toilet, feed me log after log, make me chew and swallow, wash it down with your piss, and when I vomit make me eat that too, and add your vomit if you want.

Comments

idontknowdude (Owner) – Jan 18, 2025
Never mind I talked her into it and she loves it. Later.

idontknowdude (Owner) – Jan 17, 2025
I just took a break from this site. In the interim, I found a wonderful girl whom I absolutely love with all of my heart and who has helped me in so many ways. However, she’s not into feeding me her shit, so my offer still stands.

idontknowdude (Owner) – Jan 5, 2025
I’d also be into being brainwashed until my masculinity is nothing but a distant memory.

Jamie – Jan 5, 2025
I would freaking melt.

 

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VeryUsedBoy, 20
I’m bad. I drink, I smoke, I steal, I get high, I use people, I sell my ass. I need someone to get me high, tie me up, and beat the fuck outta me. Probably more than once. Think you can change me? Give it a shot. “Best bottom I’ve ever had” – some guy once.

Comments

TossTN – Jan 23, 2025
He has a sense of humor that’s heavily influenced by The Three Stooges.

VeryUsedBoy (Owner) – Jan 11, 2025
Would need to hold off for a couple of weeks, my brother came home for school break and took over my room.

1hornyjohn – Jan 7, 2025
Normally 16.67% chance, but with this guy probably closer to 90%.

boldface – Jan 7, 2025
I went to a cum dump a couple of weeks back and nutted in this guy. He had had at least 5 other guys nut inside him before me. It was so fucking hot as I made out with him while I filled his ass with milk. I shot a load so hard my mind was blown. Anyway- I digress- What are the chances of my getting HIV from putting my dick in this guy’s ass with at least 5 loads inside him?

StepTooFar – Jan 7, 2025
This needs to be snuffed.

VeryUsedBoy (Owner) – Jan 7, 2025
My extinguishers just have to be open.

ManinMidtown – Jan 7, 2025
The most erotic moment of my life was when I actually brought this lowlife bullshit artist to tears as I verbally degraded him. Hotter than the hottest sex.

 

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Lex, 23
Hey Scotland! Awright? Fit like Glasgow!? After having a great time in the Granite City back in Glasgow. I also can get to Edinburgh, but we have to plan it in advance.
I really enjoy being used by new people, and I still get butterflies in my stomach when someone I don’t know wants to use me.
I’ve got a smooth, round, peachy ass that’s hungry like a lion. I’m about 5’6″-5’7″ tall, my body is soft and completely smooth, and I have a boyish face (also smooth, thanks to my parents’ genetics).
Scotland Let’s go! I adore you ❤️

Comments

Lex (Owner) – Jan 12, 2025
Hey Dan! thank you so much for your generous way of describing me. I also think you are just as great & this is the reason we have a fantastic connection. Looking forward to see you again! with Love P X

Dan – Jan 12, 2025
Honestly my favorite thing I did with him was throat fuck and edge him mercilessly, take control of his orgasms and make him beg to cum until he was empty before tickling and polishing his cock head post orgasm until he pissing all over the place, all while fucking his throat and making him spew throat slime and vomit.

Lex (Owner) – Jan 8, 2025
Hey! First off, I’m so happy I managed to tackle your anger issues! I always tell people that once they use me, they’ll naturally feel less pent up. By the way, your abusiveness is getting better and better over time. I used to feel anxious and nervous about your violent side, but now I really enjoy it! It was awesome to see you again, and I can’t wait for next time!

hmmmsex – Jan 8, 2025
Dr*g him, force him to take however much parTy sTuff you want, r8pe him, plant your toxic sludge in him, he loves being h1gh out of his mind.

Lex (Owner) – Jan 3, 2025
Thanks for all the sex and abuse over the past 3 years, you are amazing!

fearthebeard – Jan 3, 2025
I hope Lex finds a very sadistic owner who can provide him the life of constant suffering he deserves.

 

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Itsthere, 22
Im leo the Pig, live in nova scotia. i just curious how it feel when a hand going deep inside my body. they said human body is a temple of god but wanna try to destroy the temple with your hand? I have a sweet datable side too.

Comments

Itsthere (Owner) – Jan 17, 2025
Prefer emotionally mature guys who can hold a conversation before inevitably bouncing on your extremities in dead-silence.

Itsthere (Owner) – Jan 12, 2025
My 2025 goal is to be stretched beyond recognition by the end of the year.

Itsthere (Owner) – Jan 7, 2025
Pretty close to taking it to the elbow and doubles.

Itsthere (Owner) – Dec 29, 2025
new year eve hand party already full booked but all type of hand date possible again january 2.

Itsthere (Owner) – Dec 26, 2025
face of Pig on request.

 

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CallmeVincent, 19
Hello, I’m a teenaged MAGA conservative. I am proud of my race. I am looking for a MAGA Daddy to love and hold me and whip me so hard! I have been restrained to a bed and flogged, caned, and whipped for 14-16 hours at a time. I want to get put into a straight jacket, tied, flogged on a St. Andrew’s cross and choked out with big thick hands. As long as you are willing to let me talk to you about my day and work and school. I just want someone that wants the best for me and I can trust and rely on and will also completely bruise and scar my back, ass, chest, and legs for days on end. I hope you enjoyed reading and understand a little bit about me and maybe see yourself as a potential fit for both our needs! Again, I am Alt-Right MAGA. Not for everyone, but I like it.

Comments

MeTarzanYouFAG – Jan 19, 2025
Hey I think we gonna like each other.

crateofdice – Jan 19, 2025
Small dick when flaccid, below average when hard. Not a warning, just a heads up.

CallmeVincent (Owner) – Jan 8, 2025
I have a girlfriend, she can make me orgasm better than any of you can so don’t even try anything sexual it won’t happen.

Romancegod – Jan 8, 2025
I love MAGA guy and much more 100% PLEASING ME ANYWAY I DESIRE SEXUALLY is what i enjoy! I know ill say alot, but pls. Even If we are alike (same desires, both MAGA) it can still work out nicely because i will take the dominant roll, “because it pleases me”. I hope u understand what im trying to say? Again, without scaring you off you will do anything i ask of you, (sexually) anything at all. All i ask of you is your friendship! So CUM ON lets talk, get to know each other, and start off on a journey that takes us to “TOTAL SEXUAL PLEASURE” for us both! Im very very MAGA too. I have alot of fantasies but that doesn’t mean we must do them all, but if we have enough time..we can try, lol. lets talk more please. Let’s give us a try cause you never know what might be cum of our friendship. I LOVE MAGA ❤️ GUY.

 

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noplacetohide, 22
Be evil to me. I want 1 or 2 or more guys to grape me. No chat just grape me if u got the balls. I want to be graped over and over and over again.

Comments

noplacetohide (Owner) – Jan 14, 2025
I found a permanent grapist. He sees everything, and he has stripped me of everything.

stevend – Jan 7, 2025
I haven’t had sex in 16 years because my husband hasn’t had sex with me because he has performance issues and it’s left me with extreme resentment issues and chronic masturbation and an addiction to grape pornography that I can’t shake so I need a boy to overpower and receive my many orgasms and supplant my grape porn addiction and make me completely focused on graping him. Please help me, I’m begging you.

Jacob192873 – Jan 4, 2025
It’s a fuckin grape who doesn’t know what at the fuck grape is. It’s a fucking fruit. Starving kids in africa know what a grape is.

Shallwetalk – Jan 4, 2025
Grape?

IceCream4Crow – Jan 4, 2025
Graping him is a thrill. His legs in the air, my dick up his ass, my head leaning down towards his so I can hear every atonal sound.

 

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trueslaveinflesh, 20
Even as a child, I was fascinated by men in heavy leather with leather gloves and high boots with Muir caps on their heads. Their appearance was black and shiny and very frightening.

Until the 1980s, the breakthrough of these leather men seemed almost unstoppable – also thanks to the unsurpassable artistic work of “TOM OF FINLAND”.

But the catastrophe that struck “our”, the gay world, in the early 1980s also brought the “Old Guard” to its demise. AIDS raged not only in the diversity of the gay subculture that was just beginning to blossom, but also and especially in the gay leather scene – the “Old Guard”, which was never to recover properly.

So far, so good! But… WHY AM I WRITING ALL THIS?

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE BEEN A SLAVE FOR THIS COMMUNITY, WHICH I UNFORTUNATELY WAS NOT ABLE TO DO HAVING NOT BEEN BORN YET!

It hurts my soul that this important part of the gay subculture will inevitably disappear or has been or will be watered down beyond recognition due to ignorance.

I WANT TO STOP THIS DEVELOPMENT AND – IF POSSIBLE – REVERSE IT!

I want to use my gifts as a slave to try to revive the “OLD GUARD” movement!

I don’t yet know HOW I could best do that! I also don’t know WHERE it will lead and IF I will even succeed!

BUT IT WAS NO DIFFERENT FOR HARVEY MILK AT THE BEGINNING OF HIS FIGHT!

FIRST HE WAS ALONE, THEN IT BECAME A WHOLE MOVEMENT!

Ask for my email address if you don’t have enough characters here.

Please make sure I know I’m communicating with a DOM. The correct form of address is important to me! I am OLD-SCHOOL 😉

And… last but not least ;-)… PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR MORE PICTURES OF ME!

This is NOT about me AT ALL!

I’m ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY concerned with the matter!

I MYSELF AM COMPLETELY UNIMPORTANT!!!

Comments

Leffty – Jan 22, 2025
Your ass photos need to be red.

trueslaveinflesh (Owner) – Jan 23, 2025
What movie? Can I flip around in my socials instead? I have a short attention span.

cuteass_byebye – Jan 18, 2025
I’d love to dress you in a very skimpy outfit and watch you masturbate while covered in oil and striking humiliating poses. But first I’d want to fill your ass up with my pee and then I fuck you for hours until I shoot all my cream into that slutty ass while you watch a movie and relax.

sunsets177 – Jan 17, 2025
If you like nature and want to live surrounded with trees and singing birds then text me.

trueslaveinflesh (Owner) – Jan 13, 2025
What I hear regularly after dates is: “I never imagined that you would let someone do all of that to you and enjoy it so much. Your appearance is so deceiving.”

Bigfatboing – Jan 8, 2025
My husbro and I took him tied up tight out in the woods in the snow and used him for snowball target. Challenged one another to hit him in certain areas. Winner got to do what they wanted to him for an hour. Husbro won but from the grunts coming through the wall I think he was liked.

 

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Pleasebeolder, 19
I’m lost and I can’t find your bed. Can you tell me where it is?

Comments

the46special – Jan 16, 2025
He found it.

 

 

*

p.s. RIP: Marianne Faithfull. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. Oh, nice. Everyone, Use the link just ahead to pop over and read a story by _Black (Ben Robinson) _Acrylic inspired by ‘The Great British Bake Off’ and published on the great X-R-A-Y site why don’t you? Link. ** Misanthrope, Hugs. Oh, man, David bilking your generous mom, not good. I hope she can armour up. ** Charalampos, DC’s offers verbal and pictorial shelter 6 days a week. There’s info on the Guyotat novels in French. I haven’t read any analysis of them or whatever in English. I believe those who say they can’t be translated, having accidentally written an untranslatable novel myself. I suspect 2025 is going to be one scary news item after another, but one can hope. Yes, RIP to her. There’s a total hole where she was. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Yeah, not Black Sabbath at their best by any stretch of the imagination, but love was determined to mouth their wordage, and that was seemingly their only foray into the love thang. t.A.T.u., yay! No one could ever doubt my rapture, As you too will soon discover, No one will ever cross my love, Deadly consequence will rise above, G. ** Steeqhen, No idea, wouldn’t surprise me. You’re really barreling along right now, man, it’s good! Cool, you’re digging out the odd bits from MUBI. Jan Švankmajer’s stuff is really fun and peculiar and, yes, a bit of a slog too. Strange combo. I think you would/will/have been the only person I know who actually went to see ‘Wicked’, so … ? ** tomk, Hi, man! So good to see you! Thanks about ‘Flunker’. I’m chuffed like some of you guys over there say. And about ‘Ash Gray Proclamation’, one of my favorites of the things I’ve written. There’s talk of a Selected short fiction book by me, and it would be in there for sure. Hang on to that excitement while you forage through the distractions. You know that the excitement is, like, 90% of why it will exist. Excited on my end to hear that and imagine. Take care and it easy. ** Steve, Glad that got sorted at least. We’re looking into sales agents right now. That would be ideal, and then they could seek the distribution stuff. But we’ll see if we can land one. The total chaos at the top of the power chain in the US right now is almost unbelievable. I hope everyone over there is very alert and weaponised and immediately reactive. Vaguely about the wannabe Korean guy, yeah. ** James, Someday people will look back at this time period and before and see all the photos of wrinkled, balding people and think history is such a freak show. Lustrous feedback re: my blog but your coursework feedback is probably lustrous too. I love discordance, but my temperament is peaceful enough to take it. Oh, I don’t know, I haven’t thought about the dead/buried thing much. It would be nice if someone built a dark ride wherein seeing my coffin or tomb or whatever would be the grand finale maybe. Luck with whatever today is shaped like. ** Bill, Do people still get butt implants? That seemed like the weirdest thing. They never, ever looked real. ‘Piety’ looks very odd. Huh. Okay, maybe. Thanks, seemingly. ** jay, Hi. I read an interview somewhere with a mid-20s twink porn star who was going through this whole dilemma about whether he should surgically try to maintain his twink bottom status or hit the gym and go for hunk top. Wow, you wrapped on the filming. That was quick, no? Congratulations! When do you start the editing? It’s great how text can really convey a writer’s really good feelings like yours did. You gotta love writing. It’s so versatile. ** Darby☏, Fun at the library, yay. That’s what they’re made for. Or what I use them for. Does the Cape Fear Museum have anything to do with the movie? I guess there’s a real place called Cape Fear? Why is it fearful? It’s good to cathart, for sure, and here’s as comfy a place to do it as any, or so I hope. I’ll read your poem when I’m outta here. Awesome! Everyone, Here’s a poem Darby☏ wrote some years back about Dead from Mayhem. I read that Lady Gaga’s new album is supposed to be an homage to Mayhem and Black Metal, which just seems so desperate and embarrassing, at least in theory. With Rimbaud I would go ahead and read his masterpiece ‘A Season in Hell’. I’m certain Tim Buckley named his album after Lorca, yes. ** HaRpEr, Yes, it seemed clear that her death was coming soon, but still. She was/is so great in multitudinous ways. I have ‘The Invention of Morel’ in my sights, and hopefully it will gravitate to me. Ah, ‘Thomas the Obscure’, such magnificence. Yes, Robert Lamberton’s translation has a kind of odd, dead, awkward quality to it that took some getting used to for me, but I ended up really liking it. That photo of RP in his coffin scarred me for life, I think. ** PL, Hey. It seemed like the guy in the post was pretty famous in Brazil, so I guess it was him you were thinking of? But I don’t know. I’m curious about ‘Conclave’. Interesting, thanks. I’m not the hugest fan of Nicole Kidman. Honestly, I find it hard to even look at photos her now that she did all that work on her face. I thought she was really good in ‘Eyes Wide Shut’. I like this really oldish movie she was in called ‘The Others’. People used to use the term flick, but I don’t think so much anymore? I’ll try it out on people and see what their faces look like. Oh, nice, cool, about the ‘Sluts’ drawing and its power to accrue new fans for you. Everyone, Here’s a drawing by the great PL that incorporates the cover image of my book ‘The Sluts’ for you to take a gander at. Shrink … again, like flick, I think it’s maybe out of fashion? Or maybe not. Hm. I saw a psychologist for a few years in the 90s, and it helped a lot even though I could never figure why it was helping. Enjoy your birthday in São Paulo! How was it? And very happy birthday!!!! ** Joe, Hi, Joe. Thanks! Yeah, the visa thing is a drag and stressful. Everyone says I should be able to get it easily, but … I don’t know. I’ve never been very successful at getting approved of by official sources. The ‘Prostitution’ chapter was published as a chapbook. I think it’s still in print? It’s very worth getting. Hugs, man. ** Uday, I made through yesterday in one piece thanks to you. Oh, gosh, the entire 90s? I’m going to have to think about that. A lot of anecdotes to weed through. But I will. Vegan cheesecake … would that work? I guess it could. I like vegan cheese, but only when it’s melted, but maybe if it’s squished that could work too. May the first song you hear today be the best song you’ve ever heard. ** ellie, Hi, ellie! No problem, time is relative around here. Luck keeping your head above the overwhelming workload. Anything exciting in there? I hope you get a solid respite this weekend. xo. ** Dan Carroll, Hi, Dan. There’s this one guy who I don’t really know well and who I haven’t talked to in years who sends me links to every serial killer news story at a rate of about three times a week. So, yeah. Great about the acceptance into the art studio co-op thing! Awesome! That’s really exciting. Does it start soon? I’m happy for you. That should be a real boost to your artistry on some level or another. Link me up, yes, to your blog post. What a great idea for a post. I’m envious. Nicest Friday to you and yours. ** Okay, You know the drill. The month ends, the slaves rush in. See you tomorrow.

* (restored)

at 16

 

Even before he found global fame as a human Ken doll, Celso Santebañes’ physical appearance had made him a star in his native Brazil. As a child, Celso Borges Pereira (the name he was born with) was feted for his beauty, his perfect features refusing to fade with each year that passed. At 15, he started entering — and winning — modeling competitions, eventually catching the eye of a Sao Paulo talk show talent scout.

 

at 17

 

The show gave him entry into the world of celebrity, and within a year, he’d taken up acting and changed his surname to Santebañes after his favorite Mexican sitcom character.

 

 

It was around this time that people started telling him he looked like a Ken doll. It happened so often that Santabañes became fixated on the toy, lining his bedroom shelves with dozens of the plastic figurines. He later explained that his family’s endorsement of the bizarre comparison inspired him to recreate himself as a “human puppet.”

 

at 18

 

“Obsessed with the perfection of physical beauty, Santebañes started to identify features of his face that didn’t look like the Mattel brand doll,” the Latin Times said. “(He believed) his nose was too wide and his philtrum — the crease of the upper lip — simply too natural.” Multiple plastic surgeries and an estimated $60,000 later, Santebañes had fixed his “imperfections” and joined a growing number of adult men aspiring to look like Ken.

 

at 19

 

In an interview with a Brazilian newspaper after he was discovered, the former miner said: “This is so magical. My life has changed. I feel like the whole of Brazil is supporting me. People are sometimes frightened by the way I look, and stop me to say how much I look like a doll. I do suffer a lot of prejudice. But the world is full of judgmental people, I don’t care.”

 

 

Before long he was charging up to $20,000 for public appearances at party houses, clubs, weddings and children’s plays, even launching a line of Celso dolls in Los Angeles, much to the envy of rivals Justin Jedlica (aka Ken 1) and Rodrigo Alves (aka Ken 3).

 

 

“He daydreamed about making a film with Valeria Lukyanova, the Ukrainian ‘Human Barbie,’” the Latin Times said. He was negotiating an “advertising campaign for a huge fashion house”. But despite his success, he said he wasn’t entirely happy. “I think I’m 90% of what I want to be,” he said last year. “I intend to do more surgeries, but do not know what. For now my investment is being in the gym, for Ken is strong and I am skinny.”

 

Human Barbie Valeria Lukyanova

 

But late last year, Santebañes received a reality check in the form of an unexpected cancer diagnosis. A rare and aggressive form of leukemia had been detected during blood tests in preparation for surgery to repair a leaky filler in one of Santebañes’ legs. He was only 20 and suddenly he was dying. The impact was immediate.

 

 

“Today, I start a new cycle in my life,” he told reporters in January. “I am starting chemotherapy and I admit I’m a little concerned about some side effects, like hair loss, nausea, my body’s rejection (of chemotherapy), among other things, but I am no longer concerned with the issue of aesthetics. For me that doesn’t matter. What matters is my health now, and I will fight for it.”

 

Santebañes was told he had a high chance of beating the cancer, and though finding out he had leukemia was surprising, the doctor’s words made him feel reassured. “When I’m cured, I plan to release a book,” he said in March of this year. “Before, I struggled and did everything to be perfect. Today, God is showing me that there are other values. I think each day of treatment will be a great learning experience. I’ll be a new person. Not that I was a bad person, but I will certainly be a far better person than I was.”

 

 

The Times observed: “In his five-month battle with cancer, Santebañes immediately had to confront his own physical deterioration, the undoing of what had become his personal identity and national image. It started with dark spots on his skin and bleeding gums, symptoms of the blood cancer. Once in treatment, his hair fell out. He’d later be confined to a wheelchair, a scrawny pale shadow.”

 

 

On May 18, Santebañes, wearing a hat and heavy makeup and close to death, reflected on his tragic quest for physical perfection. “Everyone who wants to be pretty, who wants to be perfect, to call attention to themselves, to supplant this lack of … of love, perhaps,” he told Hoje Em Dia. If he survived, he said, he wouldn’t do any more surgeries: “I wouldn’t do any more, what’s done is done.”

 

the last photo

 

“I want the simple pleasures of life and, if I am told I’m better, I will run to a waterfall,” he said.

 

interview in happier days

 

Santebañes died last Thursday after contracting pneumonia. He was buried in his native Sao Paulo over the weekend. His father, Celia Borges, told reporters: “When he was starting to fulfill his dreams, he discovered his illness and his dreams were interrupted. He had plans but God had others.”

 

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Thanks for the review. Everything you say is pretty much what I expected. I already pretty much decided to avoid that film, and now my aversion is completely cemented. I thought I recognized love’s yesterday karaoke choice, and I was right. Nice buzz. Cry for the light, For the love that won’t come, You said that you’d never, Leave me alone, I gave you my heart, You cried for my soul, An Angel won’t come, This Devil won’t go, Something is wrong, G. ** James, Lustrous feedback, dude. I’m going to let myself get all old fashioned and take your disinterest in being invaded by discordant sounds as a sign of your mental and psychological good health. All hail us. Who better to hail. Yeah, dead is dead, so who cares, but I just don’t want to be burned up. Call it intuition. Very nice about the praise, in writing even. Gild that thing or something. Me, I’m off to make our film’s teaser trailer and submit the film to a film festival and do emails like you. Bon appetit. ** Misanthrope, You guys getting a place together is a nice idea. Although stranding your mom with David is … tricky? I’m so sorry about losing your friend from work. Hugs to you, buddy. That’s rough. ** Steeqhen, ‘Haunted’, right, okay, good, I’ll make a beeline. Liking that cave you discovered in your mind and also just the mental image of finding a cave in a mind. Although I guess in the real world that might mean one had a tumor something. Find the time? Somehow? The visa: I’m gathering the last required docs, and I now have an appointment at the French Consulate in LA for March 18. So, getting there, ‘god’ willing. Share any exciting movies you come across. Have an unhaunted day. ** _Black_Acrylic, Word is that the new Wiseman about restaurants is very good albeit it very long. When I was last in LA, my roommate was addicted to … is it called The Great British Bakeoff or something like that? The show that has the one kind of strange co-host guy who recently mysteriously vanished or something? Anyway, yeah, it was addictive. ** Bill, Cool. Okay, interesting, or not, about Chicago not having had a wild performance art moment. There was Joan Jett Black, right? And, uh … okay, see, now I’m coming up empty. ** Tyler Ookami, Hi, T. I’ve never been wildly into Almodovar, although I’ve liked some of his films. The late 80s-90s films mostly. There was a point where it started to seem like he was just making Almodovar-with-a-capital-A films, like he settled down and decided that he knew what people expected of him and kept on doing variations on that. I lost interest then. Worth investigating further probably, but I would head to the period of his work that I just mentioned, if you ask me. My favorite Lopatin phase is ‘Betrayed in the Octagon’ -> ‘Replica’. He was crazy great live back then. You’ve really sold me on Jane Remover. That sounds so good. I’ll get right on that. Thanks a bunch. I love Codeine. ‘Jr’ is one of my all-time favorite songs. Right, I do know Bruce Bickford a little through his Zappa-related stuff. Thanks for the link. I’ll watch that ASAP. Great! Hoping stuff is great with you. Is it, and how so? ** SP, Hi, SP! Happy this point in the New Year to you! So pleased you liked the Hapi Phace video. I loved Hapi Phace so much. A non-stop joy. I wish she’d rise out of the ether and make a comeback. I’m good, how are you? ** Steve, Good re: your dad. I’ll look for Venturing too when I hit Jane Remover up. 3121534312: okay, certainly sounds worth having at least a basic experience with. Thanks, pal. ** HaRpEr, Hi. The Jobriath doc isn’t that great as a doc, but it’s key if you want to what there is to know about him. I’m sure you know the problem was that Jobriath was massively overhyped. His publicity machine made it seem like seeing him live would be like experiencing an alien invasion from outer space, but his show was very handmade and rinky-dink. Glam was super hip and cool in the States, especially in LA, but it was always pretty niche, and the Glam bands/artists who originated in States were mostly pretty oddball: Zolar X, Smokey, Silverhead, etc. — all mostly forgotten now. I was just trying to think of a wacky thing/place in LA that could qualify as quaint, and, you’re right, nah. LA doesn’t do quaint. Interesting. I don’t know ‘The Invention of Morel’. Sounds like I should. Cool. The degree to which our film will get out there and how will depend on whether we can land an ambitious sales agent or not. My guess is we’ll end up doing a lot of targeted screenings and some festivals and maybe a mini-release in a few big cities and then it’ll go to streaming. But we’ll see. Even though the response to the film has been extremely positive, it’s always accompanied by how strange and challenging the film is, so I don’t think we can get our expectations too high. We’re making the teaser trailer today! Happy day, pal. ** Uday, Haha, it’s true, even when French people try extra hard to pronounce my name in its American form, they have a lot of trouble making the ‘i’ not sound like ‘ee’. Escort sites? Well, the big EU one is Romeo. It categorises the escorts under the title Hunqz. In the UK, SleepyBoys. In the US, I guess RentMen. And there are lots of littler ones and message boards where you have to kind of hunt to find the sex seeking guys who charge for it. But there are some starting places at least. Warning: you’ll need to hunt pretty hard and carefully to find escorts like the ones I feature and who don’t just say they’re sexy and available. Interesting project, obviously. I’ll double knot my laces today, thank you for caring. ** Joe, Hi, Joe! Things are mostly okay, just super busy with a bunch of unfun duties re: my visa quest and the film. I saw Guyotat read at the Pompidou maybe, oh, 7 years ago or thereabouts? No, I never met him. I had the chance once because a friend of mine was kind of his handler, but I was too intimidated, stupidly. I like ‘Coma’ and ‘In the Deep’, of course, but they don’t excite me like his visionary books. The problem is that a lot of his greatest works are almost impossible to translate or would be a massive job to try to translate. For instance, ‘Prostitution’: Bruce Benderson was translating that, but it was so difficult that he gave up after one chapter, so there’s only that one chapter in English. And people here tell me there are seven or eight novels that are on the level with and even more complicated and dazzling than ‘Eden Eden Eden’, but I doubt they will ever get into English. Yes, I’m so sorry about emailing. I’m so far, far behind. I promise I will write to you today. I’m so sorry. I’ve just been really swamped. xoxo, me. ** nat, Hey! You made it! It does seem like the barrier around the commenting arena is thawing at least somewhat. I’d love to hear more if Cloudflare allows and you feel like it. Take care in the meantime. ** Okay. I found myself in some sort of mood that told me I should restore this old, strange post. There you go. See you tomorrow.