Circa 1979. Photo by Moshe Brakha.

Hello. I’m Harper. I’m a humble filth disciple who also enjoys glam, power pop and electronic (s)experiments and curiosities.

I am going to document my experience listening to every album by famed duo Ron and Russell Mael aka Sparks. Why? Well, it’s inevitable that after every major change of pace or when friends disappear, that I find some band to fixate on obsessively. I am already a big fan, but there are some albums I have yet to hear. Join me, and I’ll be back at the end to give a highly subjective ranking of the Mael Brothers’ body of work. We’re going to go to cool cool cool places tonight.

 

Sparks / Halfnelson


(Alternative Cover)

I hadn’t heard this one before, and let me say that, first of all, Sparks had their sound locked in from the start. No, the arrangements aren’t as wild as they will end up being, and they are still very much trying to find their own place in rock’n’roll, but they were glam before glam, a distinctly L.A. glam despite the popular misconception later on that Sparks are a British act. In the first track ‘Wonder Girl’, you know you are in safe hands. Pop perfection. But the album keeps you on your toes, and was far more experimental than I expected. The lyrics aren’t as colourful as they will soon end up being, but the ambition joyously exceeds the growing pains.

 

A Woofer in Tweeter’s Clothing

‘Girl From Germany’ is currently my favourite Sparks song. Very naughty, very sensual vocal patterns, and does what pop rock is supposed to do (in my book). The production is deeper, lusher, and the theatrics are on full display with abrupt changes of tone, moving unpredictably from verse to other verse to an unexpected chorus.

The start of ‘Beaver O’Lindy’ is reminiscent of Syd Barrett era Pink Floyd, but as the guitars and chorus come in Russell Mael is almost doing his Ray Davies impression. It’s an album of transition. The personality is there, but there is an insatiable hunger present in both ‘AWITC’ and the debut to find the best way to put that personality to tape. The band are experimenting, finding what they like and don’t, but only ever in a way that’s wonderful to listen to for the way that it bursts with character.

 

Kimono My House


(Back Cover)

So this is it, the place that most listeners will start at – and many will unfortunately call it a day here. Our brothers arrive in the UK, ditching their band for some Englishman well dressed enough for glam but not enough to outstage the Maels. It’s an album loaded with pop classics, honed in songwriting, and it sounds as if it was recorded beneath the stars. There are stories about cowboys, amateurs, a boy genius, a re-imagined version of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ wherein Juliet decides to opt out of the suicide pact, as well as the self-obsessed and the awkward alike. Every time I listen to it I have a new favourite track. Currently it’s ‘Equator’. HOWEVER. It is not their best album, fight me. But it DOES have some of their best writing, ‘lawns grow plush in the hinterlands, the perfect little setting for the one night stands…’. Suffice to say, Ron Mael is my Morrissey, and the architect of a mixture of pop, wit, and extravagance diction and personal demeanour.

 

Propaganda

I once listened to this album on a very strong acid trip, and listened to it maybe two or three times throughout the day, which was enough for all of the melodies to circle around my head in a constant spiral. I could recall every single note. Russell Mael’s voice was like a psychotic opera singer eating glass. For that reason, for a while I would have an acid flashback even thinking about the album, so it’s only recently that I’ve been able to go back to it with a clear head, and luckily the genius of the album has untainted itself. Whilst ‘Kimono My House’ excels with every song, ‘Propaganda’ is a rock odyssey, with a carefully balanced tracklist. ‘Bon Voyage’ is a shoe-in for my favourite Sparks song ever.

 

Indiscreet


(The author and a well-loved copy of the album)

An understated masterpiece. The culmination of their glam, and what a wonderful poof of glitter to end that phase on. If ‘Propaganda’ is a rock odyssey, ‘Indiscreet’ is a cinematic epic. This is what Queen’s ‘A Night at the Opera’ wishes it was. More audacious, more androgynous, the wit is actually original, and it’s sexy as hell (the lady is lingering!!!). There are also no hyper-insecure macho songs from the drummer about being in love with a car etc. Like The Kinks’ ‘… Village Green Preservation Society’ it strings together a cast of characters and anecdotes in order to create its own world. ‘As long as the powder was dry there’d be some heterosexual thrills’ sounds like the story of my life basically.

 

Big Beat

If you ask me, this is where things get a little fuzzy. A certain kind of theatricality was no longer in vogue, and after the commercial failure of ‘Indiscreet’ and the plans for a Mael brother collaboration with the one and only Jacques Tati falling through, they were eager for a change of pace. And indeed, some songs hit the mark: ‘Big Boy’, ‘Everybody’s Stupid’, and ‘I Like Girls’ (a queer anthem?). And then we come to ‘White Women’ and ‘Throw Her Away (And Get a New One)’, two songs that are undoubtedly hilarious for their pastiches of chauvinistic rock, but perhaps it’s funny due to how easily the irony escapes. What happens though, is that some individuality is lost. Do Sparks become the trend they are pastiching, or do they transcend it? It’s difficult to tell.

Update: This album has grown on me after listening to certain albums that will not be named.

 

Introducing Sparks

Although traditionally lauded as one of their worst efforts (except, funnily enough, by famed Sparks hater, Robert Christgau (boo!)), in my mind ‘Introducing…’ is only slightly worse than its predecessor. Both albums are identity crises. So let’s make a surf rock album, why not? Well, it was possibly the least cool thing the boys could have done in ‘77, which in a way, I suppose, makes it cool. My favourite track is probably the closer, ‘Those Mysteries’, an endearing five-minute song that centres a child’s questions about everything that exists.

 

No. 1 in Heaven


(Back Cover)

At the time of writing this, on my money… Sparks’ greatest achievement. It’s been said before that the electronic dynamic seen in the 80s and 90s with two guys and a machine, partly charismatic, partly introverted, partly hostile (The Pet Shop boys for example, who I love for the record) all began here. I really don’t know what to say about it, but it is, as the title suggests, heaven. And the songwriting is not neglected in the process.

I must also say, and I hope this doesn’t come off in the wrong way, that watching the music videos associated with this album, it occurred to me that Ron Mael is a beautiful man. Very much my type.

 

Terminal Jive

‘When I’m With You’ is the centre of this album, but without Giorgio Moroder, the rest is a mix between disco and rock which sometimes works, and sometimes is just okay. If you’re not inclined to pay attention to music it’s a nice album to just put on and do something else to, but all in all it’s a fairly satisfying follow up to a masterpiece, and not something I would want to disparage at all. ‘No. 1 in Heaven’ just so happens to be an impossible album to follow up.

 

Whomp that Sucker


(Back Cover)

A strong contender for one of the funnest albums of all time and with lyrics like ‘It’s hard to explain, like “Citizen Kane”, to someone who’s blind’, who could resist its disarming charm? And it still shows ambition, the end of ‘That’s Not Nastassia’ is surprisingly uncompromising. And what other band has the gall to write and record a song about having the willies?

 

Angst in My Pants

Sparks’ funniest album? I knew this guy once, he used to claim that this album turned him gay. Really. Before he was straight as an arrow, but girl, Ron Mael in the wedding dress on the cover, oh, it did something to him, and his forefinger drums the heads of the stacks in tower records, slips the tight shrink wrap out of the S section, almost catatonic, pulling a stoner’s drawl. Fixating on if someone is looking his way, slipping the record beneath his arm and left buttock, surveying the counter and then the place he’s standing, sort of compelled to move. Hasn’t even checked the price.

1982 //

Bro: Sup, names (redacted). I’m a real big fan of former-glam-rock-then-disco outfit SPARKS. I got a big kick out of WHOMP THAT SUCKER, TIPS FOR TEENS was some funny shit. So you bet I was achin’ to get my hands on their brand new record ANGST IN MY PANTS when it came out, but… get this. I saw in the advertisement that one of the guys is dressed like a lady on the cover, in a wedding dress and everything, and the other dude is like marrying him and I was like wait, are SPARKS gays? that’s really sad. But I still wanna hear the album, which sucks. If they were gay I wish they would just come out and say it and all, and not do these psycho humiliation rituals on the cover to fuck with the minds of their audience. I’m a guy, I like watching guys hit each other like in the TIPS FOR TEENS video. That’s all. They look good there, but I don’t understand how Ron is supposed to be arousing if he’s wearing a dress.

Guy at the store: Sir, you’re in a Tower Records…

Bro: Well, uh, anyway. Like I was saying, this is for my girlfriend.

Guy at the store: Hmm

Bro: Yeah, she’s real into gays and stuff.

Guy at the store: You know they’re brothers, right?

Bro: What! So they’re doing incest shit too… Damn, what a sick sad world we live in… Fortunately WHOMP THAT SUCKER was so great that I’m going to look the other way when it comes to that fact.

//

True story. Anyway, this album has me fistbumping the air as if I was a Bruce Springsteen fan, but there are some surprisingly heartfelt moments here, too. The title track for one, as well as ‘Sherlock Holmes’, ‘The Decline and Fall of Me’, and surprisingly, ‘Instant Weight Loss’ as well.

 

In Outer Space

The 80s progress, and Sparks go to cool places. Maybe parts of this album feel too much like a John Hughes movie. So perhaps the places in question are a little too cool. ‘I wish I looked a little better’ is, of course, what we tune in for.

 

Pulling Rabbits Out of a Hat

You can easily discern the sound of this album from the cover. But it’s fun, and not boring, but not their best. It’s sort of a tweaking of ‘In Outer Space’, but perhaps they fall a little too hard into the contemporary trends rather than feeling like outsiders who subversively made it into the inside. At its best it’s ‘Pretending to be Drunk’, at its worst it sounds like something an aerobics instructor puts on in the background.

 

Music That You Can Dance To

Badadada-music-thatyew-candanstwobadadataloneizenuforme-badada. Wonderful, and then we have found that we have climbed as high as it is possible to climb in this stretch of forty to forty or five minutes. And oh, I don’t even want to talk about it. Listening to this album, several cliches of late 80s pop music come to mind. I particularly imagine the most generic music video, which is in black and white, models wearing leather jackets dance morosely in a New York City alleyway as the rain lashes at them. Ugh. I want to forget this album. Most of it is just sort of boring and repetitive, but then the last track, ‘Let’s Get Funky’ is an antidote for a clear head. It’s six minutes too long, and if you do the math then you know what I mean. God, I feel bad saying this but (on my money) this is the worst Sparks song… ever, and the worst Sparks album too.

 

Interior Design

No, this is not the worst Sparks album. It’s actually a very pleasant listen. But I listened to this album with my full attention an hour ago and I cannot for the life of me recall a single note. All I remember is that there is a song about Madonna. It’s a sombre album, more sombre than ‘Music That You Can Dance To’ which is really more snarky than depressive. Many other bands would have had their last hurrah long before this point, but as a listener this feels like it could have been end times. Just look at all of the titles this album was re-packaged as throughout the years and in different countries: ‘Gold’, ‘Heaven and Beyond’, ‘Just Got Back From Heaven’, ‘The Magic Collection’. ‘So Important’, and my favourite, ‘Madonna: So Important’.

 

Gratuitous Sax and Senseless Violins

This could very easily also be called ‘Introducing Sparks’. This album mourns a lack of success, an uneventful absence, but opts for dancing the pain away. ‘When Do I Get To Sing “My Way”’ is as much an anthem as ‘My Way’ is. One of my personal favourites is ‘Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil’, which is hypnotic, repetitive, and sort of contemplative, then ‘The Ghost of Liberace’ is a sweet ghost story about standing up for weirdos. The second half of the album drags on a bit, but nevertheless, this is only the birth of another phase for the band.

 

Plagiarism

If you don’t know, this album is a series of re-recorded songs from the entirety of the Maels’ catalogue, accompanied by orchestral suites that are really meticulous, and Russell Mael’s voice never falters. The caveat is ‘This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both of Us’ with Faith No More, which probably sounds like what non-Sparks fans hear when they listen to ‘Lil’ Beethoven’. Russell Mael and the Faith No More guy do not really gel together, particularly on this song of all songs they could have done. Something like ‘I Predict’ could have worked better. But the rest is actually a very serene, carefully produced album which astonishingly avoids nostalgia and carelessness, and perhaps anticipates what they would do on ‘Lil’ Beethoven’. I listened to it mid-morning beneath a clear sky, a cup of coffee on my desk, falling in and out of lucidity as I applied my makeup.

 

Balls

Oh balls

 

Lil’ Beethoven

Not to sound hyperbolic, but when Russell Mael intones ‘you’ll never get it back’ in response to ‘where did the groove go?’, I am like some medieval peasant kneeling before the seer, or rather, I am the fool, and the Maels are the magicians. The risk-taking and ambition of this album makes it easy for you or I to dismiss it as ridiculous; as some theatre kid’s fever dream. But no… and like ‘No. 1 in Heaven’ I struggle to articulate why it’s great. Just listen to it. The melodies will extend themselves, dance around in a cycle, and disappear, and you will be rendered unable to predict what sound could possibly come next, but then it makes sense. It has order over you.

 

Hello Young Lovers

A surprisingly great follow up to a masterpiece, which is in some ways even more chaotic, but easier to comprehend on a first listen. ‘Dick Around’ is an example of the chaos, which is rightfully regarded as a Sparks classic. Also on this album, they take tonal risks that sometimes even exceed that of ‘Lil’ Beethoven’. For example, ‘Here Kitty’, which takes a great amount of risk in terms of popular notions of taste. An endearing song involving rescuing a cat which is almost psychotic in its innocence. It sounds remarkably akin to what The Beach Boys’ ‘Smile’ may have sounded like if the original sessions were ever completed, and ‘Here Kitty’ also has wonderful harmonies. Partly sweet, partly schizophrenic.

 

Exotic Creatures of the Deep

This album combines the orchestral aspects of ‘Lil’ Beethoven’ and ‘Hello Young Lovers’ with more traditional pop formulas, although still maintaining the repetition which partly separates the album from just being a regular pop rock thing with an orchestra. ‘Lighten up Morrissey’ is a Sparks classic, and in light of Morrissey dissing the brothers recently in an unprompted instagram post, one hopes for a tremendous thorn in his side (not that I didn’t previously) – and this song rips it open slightly.

 

The Seduction of Ingmar Bergman

After a failed film project with Jacques Tati, and another one years later with Tim Burton (hence the six year silence between ‘Interior Design’ and ‘Gratuitous Sax and Senseless Violins’), Sparks use these experiences to ask a question… What if Ingmar Bergman, at the height of his powers, was to be seduced by Hollywood? That’s the plot, because this is not an album as such, but a radio musical/opera, so some songs are more atmosphere pieces than anything else, and there’s a heavy emphasis on explaining what is happening in the story e.g. a character is often introduced when they enter, as is a setting and so on.

Ingmar’s spoken word monologues can be sort of contrived at times, but the ridiculousness of it all is endearing. It’s not ironic, it’s completely serious. If I were to judge it as a play, I’d say the monologues were obvious – but there’s only so much that can be packed into an hour. ‘TSOIB’ also anticipates their work with Leos Carax on ‘Annette’, and perhaps, this is the sort of thing that Sparks are made to do.

 

FFS

I’m not gen x so I’ve never listened to a Franz Ferdinand album all the way through before. From my very ignorant view (that I don’t particularly care to alter), they seem like the kind of band whose gap gets filled in once they are absent for longer than they intended to be. But with them joining force with the Maels, we have the first Sparks ‘guitar album’ since, gee, forever… and by God, it works. Sparks were never a ‘guitar band’ exactly, so to hear them with an edge that’s only really reminiscent of ‘Big Beat’ in terms of their catalog is a welcome re-adjustment.

 

Hippopotamus

When ‘Missionary Position’ comes soaring in, it recalls the self-assurance of the start of many other great rock albums from past and present. The tone rides between being heartfelt and infectiously catchy, but as a rule, even if this band looks back at the past, it’s hidden in a motif or a clever turn of phrase, so you can easily see the jaded and the juvenile alike getting something out of the album.

 

A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip

My fucking kettle is broken. Boiling stupid putrid water like a caveman. ‘Iphone’ plays in the background. There’s anger on this album too, more than ‘Hippopotamus’, and the wit largely stems from that. There’s a looming threat of the future, although, of course, it’s not all blue, and like a lot of the great Sparks songs of yore, there’s an emotional stasis between laughing and crying. The album isn’t as instantly infectious as ‘Hippopotamus’, but its perks are on full display in re-listens.

 

The Girl is Crying in Her Latte

I’ve sort of said it before, but it is truly admirable that after all of these years, Sparks have resisted autobiographical songwriting, and have instead valued making the art for the sake of making it. On this album they continue to push forward and try out new sounds. I welled up listening to the closer ‘Gee, That Was Fun’. What do I do now? I then proceeded to start again with the debut. But good news! their next album ‘Mad’ is set for a May release, so we need not wait long for more Sparks.

 

Last Words (Bon Voyage):

Here’s my suggestion. If you ever find yourself in a rough patch, carve out a certain amount of time whenever you can, and listen to every Sparks album front to back, just as I did. I think the world would be a happier place if we all did that.

Now for the highly subjective ranking, also highly subject to change.

Ranking

1. No. 1 in Heaven
2. Propaganda
3. Indiscreet
4. Lil’ Beethoven
5. Kimono My House
6. Angst in My Pants
7. A Woofer in Tweeter’s Clothing
8. Whomp That Sucker
9. Sparks / Halfnelson
10. Hello Young Lovers
11. Hippopotamus
12. FFS
13. The Girl is Crying in Her Latte
14. A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip
15. Gratuitous Sax and Senseless Violins
16. The Seduction of Ingmar Bergman
17. Plagiarism
18. Terminal Jive
19. Big Beat
20. Exotic Creatures of the Deep
21. In Outer Space
22. Introducing Sparks
23. Interior Design
24. Pulling Rabbits Out of a Hat
25. Balls
26. Music That You Can Dance To

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. This weekend HaRpEr commandeers the blog for this amazing overview and study and entertainment complex centered around one of the greatest musical units in the world IMO, the musical omnivores and Mount Olympus-located wits Sparks. If you’re already on board with their joyousness, indulge, and if you’re newbie or even skeptical, accept the challenge. Thank you from the bottom of my everything, HaRpEr, and my kudos to those of you out there and who accept and devour their gift. ** Steeqhen, I just spied your email in my box, so congratulations, sir! And I’m radiating honor if you can’t tell. Let your freedom sink in and max it out. ** Adam Allbright, Hello Adam. Very good to meet you. Ha, shoals of fish, totally, great eye. From now on it’s going to be hard to see anything else. Thanks a lot. What’s going with you? ** _Black_Acrylic, I wonder if someone has made a VR mosh pit. I might even put that clunky unit on my head to see how that works. ** Dominik, Hi!!! A Marching Church pit! That is a bit of surprise. Ice Age obviously stirred up some serious pits back when they were firing on all cylinders. Well, I hope love didn’t have to make even simple decisions yesterday. I guess that’s impossible, though, since everything involves a decision. Hm. Love’s amazement that Sparks so understands his definition of love in this case, G. ** Carsten, Hey. There could be a kind of geriatric pit at the Iggy show, and that could be interesting or rather sad. Los Feliz is a pretty desirable location understandably, it’s true. Always a celebrity or two at the supermarket. Oh, my email for the post is [email protected]. Thanks, pal. ** Misanthrope, David sounds like he may finally be about to plop down in a rehab whether he likes it or not. How’s ‘Thunderbolts’? My weekend is mostly just going to be working on the new film script and trying to eat something unusual. ** Charalampos, Me too: Schroeter. Uh, Los Feliz is rather pretty and very well located in LA proper but exotic? Not really other than being a place where you can walk to a lot of what you want to do, which I guess makes it exotic in a sense since otherwise LA is mostly a car-necessitating sprawl. That’s what you would like about it, I would guess. Hi from unseasonably warm Paris although it’s supposed to be more normally pleasant starting tomorrow. ** catachrestic, Yeah, ‘cheap thrill’ was mostly just me being shy. I think I did see some Astroworld Festival clips, yes. Too many people. Mm, I think doing a venue/project like that involves have a lot of faith? And patience? Not so different than one must have to be an artist, I guess. I’ve known a fair number of novelists who think if they don’t get big reviews and sales and sizeable social media mentions in the first month or two after their book is released that their books have failed. That’s the danger in having a preset idea of what success means or how displays of gratitude are going to manifest themselves. There’s a big conference in NYC this week about an exhibition that Richard Hawkins and I did in LA in 1989, ‘Against Nature’, and, at the time, it didn’t seem like any big deal, but people still talk about that show all the time. You just never know. So I don’t what rewards one should anticipate when doing an ‘underground’ project. Just thinking aloud. Zac was talking about how much he loves ‘Crush’ to me yesterday. There you go. The sustainable job thing, yeah. I’m someone who never ever did that or made any effort to do that, but I had parents I could mooch money off of when I was broke. True, of course, about the cost of living thing. But I mean I lived in Arcadia growing up, an hour-plus drive away from everything I wanted to see and do, and I think, at least in the case of LA, people in the relatively affordable suburbs accept all the driving one needs to do to get to the happening stuff. Which may be why LA is still a real hotbed of experimental art and stuff relative to most other US cities. Last time there, I was, as I think I’ve said, blown away by all the wild things that were going on all over the city and the excited small crowds flocking to them. I don’t know. Just mentally blathering. ** Steve, Ah, ha! Everyone, Steve has released a new song entitled ‘Saturday Afternoon’ that you can hear or purchase or both on his bandcamp. Luck getting the new radio show episode perfected. This weekend I want to work on the new film script because Zac and I had a meeting about it, and there’s still serious work to do. Otherwise, might see some art. No, no work on the haunt, just thinking about it. When we go to LA in June, we’ll probably start talking to artists to see if it’s feasible. I don’t know if haunt people came to the screening. We didn’t target them. But we’d like to do a couple of Halloween period screenings, and, in that case, we will deliberately let the haunt scene know about the film. Everyone, Also two new reviews by Steve: Here he wrote about the latest albums by the Ex and Water Damage, and here he reviewed Model/Actriz and Fielded. I haven’t listened to The Ex since I was lived in Amsterdam where they were ubiquitous at the time. I’d be interested to hear where they are these days. ** HaRpEr, Hey! First, a million more thanks for this incredible Sparks fest! You’ve sold me on ‘Faust’, part 2. I’ll hunt it. I, like you, disagree as well about that about Bernhard, obviously. That is a great Bernhard pic! I’ve never seen that before. At gigs I almost always just stand in some relatively safe spot and concentrate on the stage and nod my head rhythmically a little. I moshed a bit in the early punk days but not with abandon. I think the only time I completely lost myself and threw myself all over the venue was at a very early Gang of Four gig, still the best gig I’ve ever seen maybe, I think. You, of all people, really enjoy your weekend, okay? xo. ** jay, The ‘Minecraft’ audience craziness is the only reason I’m tempted to see in a theater, but unfortunately I’m told that phenomenon isn’t happening in France. Even kids here like to play it cool. ‘Balatro’: I’ll get my eyesight on some representation or other of it. Thanks. Did the weekend enrich your ongoing freedom in any pass-along-able way? ** Uday, Real pits are probably more valuable in the long term ultimately. Yours sounds alluring. Um, do you mean have I had phases where I wanted to do something new badly but didn’t have the … something … to start doing them? Of course. I’m not sure how I escaped those phases, but I obviously did. I’m pretty obsessive and industrious, though, so I never worry when these phases hit, and I think not worrying is the key. I don’t know how you stop worrying though. Gosh. I’d obviously love to come. That would be amazing. The thing is I’m tied down to the film release, and I don’t know what I’m going to be obligated to do in the fall yet. I hope I will know soon. But of course I’d love to. Thank you! ** Daniel, It’s definitely a little too warm here today, but it’s supposed to drop down into niceness starting tomorrow if you believe the weather forecasts, and I don’t completely. Those times you have available work for me. Let’s sort it. My email is [email protected]. And I’ll text you, so you’ll have my number. Welcome! ** Right. Sparks! HaRpEr! Enjoy yourselves majorly this weekend, at least when you’re in this realm. See you on Monday.