The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Chewing Gum Day *

* (restored)
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evauxz beelzebozo: i am the world’s biggest fan of chewing gum, but sometimes when i stop to think about this little rubbery substance that we put in our mouths to chew for fun, it blows my mind

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avatar Apharmd: does anyone else like orbit’s mint mojito flavor? i mean i do like it but it doesn’t really last long. anyone know the brand that lasts the longest?

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alton88px Jody Anthony: all i know is Stride is the shortest lasting gum i have ever had. their commercials are pure bullshit. maybe people dont buy your gum because it tastes like chewing on old metal for about 10 seconds, then like an old eraser.

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qq4bv8 newsguy:

 

 

1095
Let’s keep it real baby

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GS-godo-shakes-head Boogie9IGN: I love Mint Mojito, it tastes just like the mojitos my dad makes in the summer. But you’re right, the taste doesn’t last very long.

The shortest-lasting gum flavors tend to be the Hello Kitty/Sanrio gum brands, stay away from them

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bustereditedcj9 GoutPatrol: Orbit used to last forever when it first came out. Now it lasts less than an hour. Sure, that’s more than most gum, but it used to last for days. And Orbit White lasts as long as Juicy Fruit.

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oozeav bggrthnjsus: i am addicted to gum i go through about a pack every 2 days :/

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avatar Apharmd:

Re. The shortest-lasting gum flavors tend to be the Hello Kitty/Sanrio gum brands, stay away from them

wouldn’t know

never tried them

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evauxz beelzebozo:

 

 

fenkti
am i right or am i right

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KEVINJOHNSONjpg Iamthegamer: I bought a tub (about 600 pieces) of Dubble Bubble Bubblegum (the shortest lasting gum ever, yet among the best tastes) last summer and put it in my car. It’s only halway empty now.

Best investment I ever made.

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bushava SIP YEK NOD:

Re. i am addicted to gum i go through about a pack every 2 days :/

Ditto

mmm, juicy fruit NOMNOMNOM
IMG_0599Small

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thmeatwad FootHammer: God, I wish they still made Gatorade Gum. That was the the best gum ever made.

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papa_chozo_anim El Papa: I like Dentyne Ice Soft Chew, the Cool Frost flavor.

 

 

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007_Squirtle omgimaninja: Is there any sugar-free gum that doesn’t contain Aspartame? I don’t eat foods w/it.

 

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9a24j8 Linkzg:

RE. i am the world’s biggest fan of chewing gum…

what? hell no you aint you crazy mother! I have 4 packs of gum in my bag right now, I dont even think that shit will last another day. I am the biggest fan of chewing gum on the planet. I get cold when I dont get my fix. I chew gum even after it loses flavor. WHAT!?

I chew Orbit Raspberry Mint and Trident Wild Bluberry Twist for the most part.

Berry Gum is delicious.

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beelzebozo:

Re. what? hell no you aint you crazy mother! I have 4 packs of gum in my bag right now, I dont even think that shit will last another day. I am the biggest fan of chewing gum on the planet. I get cold when I dont get my fix. I chew gum even after it loses flavor. WHAT!?

I chew Orbit Raspberry Mint and Trident Wild Bluberry Twist for the most part.

Berry Gum is delicious.

my fault. when i said “world’s biggest” i meant in physical girth. i weigh seven hundred pounds, and in one deep corner of my mouth–while also eating ham sandwiches and pepperoni pizzas–i keep a few pieces of gum working

 

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Linkzg:

RE. my fault. when i said “world’s biggest” i meant in physical girth. i weigh seven hundred pounds, and in one deep corner of my mouth–while also eating ham sandwiches and pepperoni pizzas–i keep a few pieces of gum working

acceptable.

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Boogie9IGN: That one gum with the Strawberry+Lime mixture is godly too

 

 

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Ninja Scooter: Re. am i right or am i right

that and the watermelon flavor is the best.

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Finn: Wrigley’s Spearmint is my favorite, followed closely by Doublemint and Juicy Fruit. Winterfresh is also pretty good, but not a favorite. And I’ll chew Orbit on occasion too.

So really, I like gum.

Oh also, gums that are flavored like pineapple and shit? No thanks. Gum is supposed to be minty, appley, or watermelony. That’s it. Maybe berry-y once in awhile, but not often.

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kbear:

so recommend more gums that last long and taste great

here’s one: Eclipse Fusion Spearmint Melon

normally, fruity flavored gums don’t last long and tend to get foul but this one is the exception

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Desperado: I am loyal to Trident original flavor. Simple, tastes great, and good for your teeth.

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CM McPunk:

Wrigley’s Extra Cool Breeze

…is what the Gods chew on.

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beelzebozo: and now for some brief history on chewing gum.

Quote:

HISTORY
Many years ago, archaeologists made a surprising discovery! It seems prehistoric men and women chewed on lumps of tree resin for pure enjoyment, making them the first-ever gum chewers in recorded history. The study of man has also found that almost every culture chomped “gum.” Ancient Greeks routinely gnawed on tree resin to clean their teeth and freshen their breath, and called their treat “mastiche.” Indians chawed on the sap from trees. The Maya Indians of Central America gummed chicle. Early settlers bit into hardened tree sap and beeswax.

LET THERE BE SUGAR
Until the late 1870s, chewing gum was marked by little or no flavor. A druggist from Kentucky is credited with making chewing gum a sweeter treat when, in 1880, he added sugar to chicle. John Colgan’s discovery sealed the fate of chewing gum, forever marking its place in history.

CHEWING GUM FACTS

THE average American chews over 300 sticks of gum each year.
IN THE early 1860s, doctors advised patients to stop chewing gum, often telling patients it would cause their intestines to stick together.
OVER $2 billion of gum is sold in the United States each year.
DRIED CHEWING gum can be removed from hair using peanut butter.
THE WRIGLEY’S company originally sold scouring soap and baking powder. Today, they are known only for their gum.
TEACHERS who once punished students for chewing gum in the classroom now using bubble gum as a reward for good behavior.
WHILE the sale of chocolates and other candies has gone up and down over time, the sale of gum has always remained strong.
MOST gum is purchased between Halloween and Christmas.
TODAY, almost all gum is made by machine.

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kbear:

Re. Wow.. what? Stride Cobalt Blue is amazing… it’s my gum of choice and I’ve tried everything. It last hella long

my mistake.. it wasn’t stride, you were right that is nasty.

it’s this one here, “5”

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Garcia:

Nom….

I want gum. I love gum. I NEED gum.

I like trident.

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Darth Sonik:

Have to say that living in Ireland with our crappy weather means you need the power of Wrigleys Airwaves.

My favourite is the ‘Cherry Menthol’, they have a long lasting flavour & help with your breathing.

There was even a run of Guarana “Energy” Gum which I don’t think is available any more.

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mCACGj: I love gum, but ever since I was playing baseball and had the ball go off my bat while I was swinging right into my jaw (still not sure how this happened) my jaw gets really sore after a while.

Is anyone else appalled with the recent (I think it as recent?) change in regular Juicy Fruit’s color? It’s all bright yellow now, what happened to the beige?

Do they still make that Rasppleberry or whatever Juicy Fruit? That stuff was delicious.

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Lambtron: For me it’s Bubblemint or Sweet Mint Orbit. So good. The Sweet Peppermint Stride is also acceptable. I see Stride has a Sweet Cinnamon now, that might be awesome, cinnamon gum is usually a liiiittle too strong for me.

Select Brands

Hubba Bubba
Stimorol
Double Bubble
Trident
Dentyne
Bubblicious
Ice Breakers
Bible Gum
Wringley
Stride
Hollywood
Juicy Fruit
Nicorette
Sex Gum

Select commercials


Happy Dent (Kenya; 1:25)


Air Vigorsol (Switzerland; 0:40)


Bubblicious (USA; 1:00)


Stimorol (USA; 0:45)


Frosty Bites (India; 0:30)


Chiclets Stick (Thailand; 0:18)


Brooklyn Gum (Czech Republic; 0:49)


PK (Australia; 0:29)


Mentos Gum (China; 0:31)

 

 

*

p.s. RIP MF Doom ** Dominik, Hi! Cool, Daniel Johns is cool, or seems to be. When ‘Guide’ was published, Alex James of Blur was completely freaked out in the bad way by his doppelgänger character in the novel, but Daniel Johns loved his character. He was even interested in doing the score of a film based on ‘Closer’ that was in the works but never got made. Ha ha, I’ll take that love. And you get love like a sun you can stare directly at without destroying your eyes, Dennis. ** T, Hi, T! Lovely to meet you, and a very happy New Year to you! Thank you a lot for keeping an eye on this place and for the kind words. Please feel more than free to enter and share your thoughts or stuff at any time. ** David Ehrenstein, Happy late b’day to the great Mr. Dallesandro. He used to live on my street in Los Feliz, but I never saw him. ** David S. Estornell, You said it, man. Very same back to you. ** _Black_Acrylic, That Jools Holland has had a helluva long career. I wish the exact same for your 2021, my friend. ** G, HNY to you, Golnoosh! Thank you for giving my 2020 such a great boost too! <3 ** Misanthrope, Ha ha, you’re not a dumbass because you missed my thing, you’re a dumbass because it’s happening today not yesterday. I wonder if I’ll know how it goes. People seem to be making comments in the chat function as the marathon progresses thus far, so maybe I’ll get some trolling snarky shit. Well, the instructional albums came with illustrative booklets and stuff, that’s how. Yeah, if people don’t like what you like, whatev’. Although I’ve been known to blow my stack a little when people shit talk Bresson or Robert Pollard. I almost miss Italian restaurant chains. We don’t have them here. Or we did until Pizza Hut used the pandemic as a reason to pull out of the country. There were a bunch of those. Cheesy crust, yum. Me too: did nothing. Of course we had an 8 pm curfew so there was nothing to do. ** Steve Erickson, Last year was definitely a very mixed and unbalanced bag. Adios. I guess the ball dropped with nobody there to see it with their own eyes? Everything was cancelled here. They didn’t even do the Eiffel Tower fireworks for the TV cameras. ** brendan, Hi, big B. Thanks for talking back to everybody. May your year rip a pretty hole in the fabric of time and space. ** Bill, Hi. I think they would argue that it is all about them. Or that’s my guess at how Masters both real and fake think about the world. My 2021 has started exactly like the last day of 2020 started. That can’t be good. ** Paul Curran, You guys beat us here by a mile, or millions of them. Or maybe just thousands of them. I’m bad with numbers. And with miles. Oh, that sounds quite interesting: your IL thing. The cool thing about IF is I feel like I could pretty much do anything and they would use it, not because my fingers + brain guarantees gold but because they seem as visual as they are textual. Although I can’t do a GIF thing, I guess, which is probably what I would do. Anyway, … Happiest start to the happiest forever, dude! ** Brian O’Connell, Hi, Brian. Aw, I know the slaves would be so appreciative of your kind words, or at least those who aren’t hooded or mummified or snuffed. ‘Mouchette’ is great, one of my favorite Bressons, so, yeah, stamp of approval. Hopefully just the symbology of the old year/new year switch will make a difference. And the world’s most gigantic piece of shit exiting the White House can only help. IOW, here’s to 2021 with hopes even unrealistically high. ** h (now j), Hey. HNY! Thanks. I hope my little reading works. You never know. It’s not very festive. ** Right. On the off chance that a lot of you are hungover today as you would possibly be on a normal New Years Day, I’ve decided to take it really easy on you by restoring this ridiculous, easy on the brain post from years and years ago. Have a fresh start kind of Friday, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

12 Comments

  1. G

    I find this weird post very relatable as I’m also a bit addicted to chewing gum; in fact, I think I’ll be chewing my current fave – Extra white bubblemint – when devouring your reading in a few hours… Don’t worry about trolls; I registered and I can troll them back lol. 🧜🏼‍♂️💘

  2. David Ehrenstein

    And Now Todya’s Key Question!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  3. David S. Estornell

    Have a nice day. Bisous 😘

  4. _Black_Acrylic

    Chewing gum is a strange product alright. Back in the day when I did briefly consume the stuff, I always found the optimal moment to be when the crunchy outer shell is still barely intact, and it’s yet to take the form of being purely gum in your mouth. About 2 minutes tops, then. After that it, it becomes all about the remnants’ hygenic disposal. Every day, schoolteachers must curse its very invention.

  5. Misanthrope

    Dennis, Okay, then, I’m all set! Should be in about an hour or so then. Nice. And yeah, my dumbassery is getting out of hand, hahaha.

    Really, you get a little sensitive about Bresson and Pollard, eh? I had no idea, hahaha. 😀

    Hmm, I saw something on an FB thread about a month ago about you/your work that made me go, wtf? Then I looked at the person’s profile…I get it, it’s the content you don’t like, get the fuck outta here. It was kinda the weirdest thing, actually. But hey, if everybody loved you, then there’d definitely be something wrong, right?

    Yeah, the chain we go to, Carrabba’s, ain’t bad at all. I’ve been to “real” Italian restaurants, and most of their stuff is just as good, imo. Certainly isn’t shit.

    No curfew here, but peeps did wake me up at 12:30 with firecrackers and fireworks, though. I was hella tired and jumped in bed at 10:30. Fuck it, man needs his sleep. Besides, today is December 32, 2020, not January 1, 2021. 😉

    Hope the reading goes well. I’m a find a way to “be there.” Which shouldn’t be hard. 😀

  6. Kyler

    Hi Dennis – I caught you on The Poetry Project. That was beautiful and very powerful. Looking forward to the book!

    Happy New Year – I’ll try to sleep through your response, haha – doin my best with that (sleep is so touch and go, you know?) Having lots of dreams – reading Jung for the first time in my life – and writing down my dreams. Jung has kept me sane (if you can call it that) during this holiday season. Glad it’s over!

  7. Dominik

    Hi!

    I guess if someone is not familiar with your work or tries to stay blind to the kind of… twisted obsession/interest they can generate with their looks or personas – not just in the parts of their audience they’re comfortable to acknowledge – something like this can be quite shocking or scary. But I don’t know, I think I’d find it pretty funny and flattering, haha.
    I would watch a film based on ‘Closer’ featuring the young Daniel Johns, hell.

    How did your new year start? I spent the day reading ‘The Devil You Know’ by Poppy Z. Brite.

    Love like a seven feet tall hairless cat in a mask, D.

  8. h (now j)

    Oh I suddenly have this chewing gum craving, Dennis. I might get some right away. A nice reason to step out of my room.

    Your reading was marvelous and you looked (and sounded) beautiful as always. Again, Happy New Year to you! And more soon.

    yours, xx

  9. Steve Erickson

    At midnight last night, I heard quiet fireworks and realized the year had been passed. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. But then someone in my neighborhood let off loud fireworks after I went to bed, which I really didn’t appreciate!

    As Misa has written, music theory/instruction YouTube is an incredible resource, especially during this period when in-person music lessons have dried up. I’ve learned a great deal from it, watching everything from instructions in playing gospel piano to programming gqom.

    The Guatemalan horror film LA LLORONA, about a corrupt wealthy family haunted by ghosts, will be my first movie of 2021. I turned in my first article of the year today. I’m rushing to finish several pieces before I have to take the computer to the repair shop next Monday, although they claim they will have it back to me the same evening if I come in before noon.

    Were the rumors that gum never leaves your stomach if swallowed popular with parents and children in the ’60s? I remember them as part of my childhood.

    How did the New Year’s Day performance go?

  10. Sypha

    There was a time span a few years ago where I was chewing a lot of sugar-free gum: I stopped though when I found out it had Sorbitol as an ingredient (which I later found out can have a laxative-type effect on some people).

    Dennis, there’s going to be a new book coming out from Snuggly soon, edited by Justin Isis, called NEO-DECADENCE: TWELVE MANIFESTOS. Essentially it’s like the title says, 12 manifestos on a variety of topics (clothes, music, video games, art, and so on), just from a Neo-Decadent slant/perspective. They were wondering if you’d be up to letting the blog host a Day for it? I’m not really involved in this particular project in any which way, but as I’m kind of the link between this place and Snuggly, I was tasked with being the liaison.. makes me feel like a diplomat, ha ha. Well, let me know what you think. And Happy New Year!

  11. Bill

    I can’t say I’m into chewing gum, though it can be enticing in the right mouth.

    How did the reading go, Dennis? I wasn’t able to catch it; is a recording available? I’m not hung over, though I was drinking some of this dark sludgy stout that’s like bittersweet chocolate syrup.

    Happy New Year, everyone.

    Bill

  12. Corey Heiferman

    I enjoyed the strange gum ads a lot. Inspired me to find an Israeli one, “Don’t Get Caught Without Elite Gum”:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1RGgnIGNrE&ab_channel=TalHart

    Getting very stir crazy in quarantine but it’s been good for reading and writing. New job starts tomorrow so that’ll add some structure to my confinement. Attending a Zoom lecture on Israeli video art tonight could help too. What’s new by you?

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