The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Category: Uncategorized (Page 2 of 979)

“i am sane enough to know a lot is not a lot to ask.”

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manTHISisSERIOUS, 22
Lisbon

Used to think i was straight.

Used to.

But what i realized was that there is nothing that captivates my imagination like the thought of a big bank account.

i have been paid enough times to know i like it.

Looking for a lot before i start my big serious career in the near future.

i am sane enough to know a lot is not a lot to ask.

Guestbook of manTHISisSERIOUS

Conspirator – Jan 11, 2023
I want to fuck you until your head sounds like a rattle.

manTHISisSERIOUS (Owner) – Jan 11, 2023
Who the fuck am i, and you wouldn’t leave me alone, you noisy fagpoo, what do you have to do with what i’m looking for here? Because i’d be a dick and who the fuck, i beat you in the mouth of with a metal bar, and how much i ask for, etc.. it’s none of your business, your problem is that i didn’t suck you 3,000 ft, i understand, you sucker, you’re a dick sucker, you dog, i’m not a sucker, you care about me, you little dog, look for someone you can suck for 3 thousand, leave me alone, or let’s fuck you and your mother too.

noturhusband – Jan 9, 2023
Hello my fellow moneybags!!! With enough money 💰 there’s something very nice.

Body Type Athletic
Ethnicity Latin
Body Hair Smooth
Smoker Yes
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages Spanish, English
Position More top
Dick XL – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M Soft SM
Fisting No answer
Kissing Consent
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 200€
Overnight Rate 5000€

 

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CutebottomIhope, 20
Kassel

Hey I live in Kassel and after a long losing streak I’m back here for uncomplicated one night stands.
I know it’s not a flea market here, but I am in urgent need of money right now, and I am selling my body and all sorts of stuff.
I did have some toys but used them too much and now I don’t work right, I did have stuff to shock myself but I turned it too high and got messed up.

Guestbook of CutebottomIhope

CutebottomIhope (Owner) – Jan 9, 2023
I really don’t care much about your opinion, that’s why I’m on the internet on a random ass escort website instead of talking to someone I actually give a shit about, and too late anyway the mental hospital dragged me back.

Indeed – Jan 9, 2023
Oh, look, another degenerate attention whore pretending to have “problems” and acting like a giant tool to his clientele while using the excuse “I have mental problems,” as though that absolves them of any guilt.

CutebottomIhope (Owner) – Jan 9, 2023
I haven’t been on here in about 6 months but I have made some major realizations. The most important of which is that I have a relatively fucked up brain. Second of which is that life is really not enjoyable unless I’m high, drunk, or getting fucked. I recently was discharged from the mental hospital and I am now worse off that I was before I went in. I am currently doing SI more than ever. I’ve been binge drinking and doing lots of amphetamines and perscription drugs. Ive been more depressed than ever and my sex addiction is getting worse. My question is do you think I need to go back to the hospital and try to work out some of my mental problems?

Love-the-beach – June 16, 2022
I just want to say that the fact there are toilet paper rolls visible in both of his pictures is not a coincidence.

eyeroll – June 8, 2022
Swedish beanpole, so fucked up he could barely mumble, so messed up on the hotel bed, was extremely awesome!

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Not very hairy
Smoker Yes
Tattoos No
Piercings Yes
Languages Swedish, German, English
Position Bottom only
Dick M – Uncut
Dirty Yes
S&M Yes
Fisting Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Never
Hourly Rate 50€
Overnight Rate 80€

 

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Puddle, 19
Coventry

Suave, sexy & mature daddy-fister/top (mid 50s), and his young, cute greedy-arsed boy (19) seek reliable Midlands based paying fisting tops to keep boy occupied with group assaults on his hole once or twice a week when daddy is away.

Reliable, experienced and generous fisters only who are genuinely up for very regular exploring this VERY experienced young pig.

Oh, and by the way, we’re both a bit crazy in the head, you should realize that beforehand.

Guestbook of Puddle

Searchingforit – Jan 2, 2023
honestly, he’s so loose that you’d have to be massive hung and thick to even feel it. I ended up just jerking off inside him.

BiRedhead – Jan 2, 2023
Possible to eschew the fisting and just fuck him?

akitv-do-wickede – Dec 31, 2022
Quite a crazy crevice for a torrid trash plan.

rogeroverandout – Dec 29, 2022
When I showed up he was lying naked on his stomach watching the Godfather marathon on TV. I was horny, so I lubed up my hand and just kind of slid it up his ass. At this point he felt what was happening, so he helped me by raising his ass up. Fisted him deep for a while, paused to lick and suck his prolapse, then finally finished off fucking and him and giving him my load while some Godfather II shit was going on in the background. I didn’t care, but I guess he’s Italian and loves those movies.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity Mixed
Body Hair Shaved
Smoker Yes
Tattoos Yes
Piercings No
Languages English
Position Bottom only
Dick M – Uncut
Dirty Yes
S&M Yes
Fisting Passive
Kissing Consent
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 20£
Overnight Rate 30£

 

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uglyjames, 18
Madrid

From here on no freebies
For Hire
DM to avail TG channel
I have much to rent
Stfu if you know me!

Guestbook of uglyjames

HurricaneMEGA – Jan 7, 2023
I recommend fucking him with your eyes closed.

uglyjames (Owner) – Jan 5, 2023
I’m still pretty new to this, but I have discovered I’m a kitty.

thanksimfine – Jan 3, 2023
He speaks Spanish and English and Italian and he’s learning German and Ukrainian. If he’s awkward at first I promise it’ll turn torrid very quickly. Um … what else should I put here … He likes trying new things (especially if his ass is involved) … and you’ll like his nipples. And he’ll hug you … a lot.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity Latin
Body Hair Smooth
Smoker No
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages Spanish, English
Position More bottom
Dick S – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M Soft SM
Fisting No answer
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 200€
Overnight Rate 5000€

 

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NoSnowFlake, 22
Glasgow

Im open minded and im usually upbeat and can sometimes have fun hyper outburst of randomness but i certainly dont take life too serious and if can and prefer to find me a sugar D 😉 😉 then me will certainly change your world for the more fun part. I stand by everyone tha agrees that “We only live once”.

You can use my hole as u want to use me up stretch me or bring even if just m8s im all yours can even get any m8s over too e.g can be for their bdays or just general gift to them or if ur m8s into exploring a hole etc.

My ass control is amazing to go as big and deep as u like.

If ur cock is under 8inches Im sorry but I will not be overly enthusiastic.

Quite busy filming porn at the moment but i can free my hole up for the right price.

Guestbook of NoSnowFlake

amnesie – Jan 4, 2023
I need to talk to you and be your boyfriend.

kingofgodzilla – Jan 4, 2023
My cock is 19 cm asleep, when I wake up it’s 24 cm, it leaves a perfect mess.

MattDusk – Jan 3, 2023
If you can give me a massage, please let me know. I think I would like one.

whatucharging – Jan 3, 2023
He does a lot but the only thing he seems to really like to do is lick your cock after it’s been in his ass.

Body Type Athletic
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Shaved
Smoker No
Tattoos Yes
Piercings Yes
Languages English
Position Versatile
Dick L – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M No
Fisting Active/Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 50£
Overnight Rate 100£

 

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needmoneyduh, 19
Brussels

Friendly Brussels-based model cute twink feeder here who can turn men from all ages into a real toilet.

👀🧻🚽💩 Whether you’re just a beginner tempted to play the role of toilet paper or a guy who occasionally likes a dump taken in his mouth without swallowing or a very experienced eater or you’re looking to be forced to swallow as “punishment”, your mouth will be greeted with the same interest.

🧠💬😈 I am rather the cerebral type, that’s why I conceive of scat as a game that privileges the mind. I can therefore motivate you to overcome certain psychological barriers that I know well from my experience. The key word being: PROGRESSIVE PLEASURE. I like to be considerate while being insistent so that you fulfil your role as a toilet.

Always a good big production of two days for a slow feeding so that you enjoy it as much as possible. 😛

🍆💩 And if you’re excited about fucking a cute twink with a full ass, I’m your boy too.

💶 Rate: Flat rate of 250 EUR for a meeting of about 2 hours.

Guestbook of needmoneyduh

DadLikeTim – Jan 9, 2023
Try it to get boy.

needmoneyduh (Owner) – Jan 5, 2023
I sell my photos and videos, there are videos where I’m feeding, there are videos where I’m dirty fucked, there’s even a video where I suck.

NothingElseMatter – Jan 4, 2023
He looks like a cute boy next door twink but he’s an extremely different person once he’s shitting in your mouth. Oh yes! And I also changed into a complete dirty talking shit swallowing slut, OMFG!

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity Mixed
Body Hair Little hair
Smoker Yes
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages French, English
Position More top
Dick M – Uncut
Dirty Yes
S&M Yes
Fisting Active
Kissing No
Safer Sex Let’s talk
Hourly Rate 250€
Overnight Rate On request

 

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blondeambition, 20
London

I’m on here looking for guys to join me for a raucous orgy at 150 £ per guy. Because of a lack of daytime opportunities I am considering organising my own daytime event in the basement of a well known London gay bar.
The Central Station Bar
37 Wharfdale Road
Kings Cross N1 9SD

Guestbook of blondeambition

blondeambition (Owner) – Dec 25, 2022
Yes I am a million billion percent interested.

Snoop – Dec 25, 2022
I am looking for a cute boy (hopefully you) who is extremely kinky, dirty and perverted to use as a complete sex crazed non-stop boytoy slut. I have an extremely high sex drive and can cum multiple times and keep going ad infinitum. I want my life to revolve around nothing but sex and using a boy sexually every second every night and every day. If you are interested in fulfilling this role in return for being housed and fed the position is yours.

springforce – Dec 23, 2022
hey I’ve wanted to fuck you for years and I just fucked you and this is crazy!!

gangbang6 – Dec 21, 2022
He is the best fuck pig I know! He makes me shoot like a teenager. I do everything to fuck him! He’s a really horny sow with sexy ass goo who doesn’t even care about school. BOOK HIM.

justdoitnowforsure – Dec 16, 2022
If it matters there are about a billion videos online of this guy getting his brains scrambled with chems while getting pounded and bred.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Shaved
Smoker No
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages English
Position Bottom only
Dick M – Cut
Dirty WS only
S&M Yes
Fisting Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Never
Hourly Rate 150£
Overnight Rate 800£

 

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CO-OWNATWINKFARM, 20
Grand Rapids

I AM LOOKING FOR ANOTHER CO-OWNER TO HELP ME WITH MY TWINKS. I CURRENTLY HAVE 19 TWINKS AND 8 CO-OWNERS AND LIVE IN COUNTRY setting

I (Jim) am 51. 5’11” 205 lbs. hairy and love living the naked life. My first co-owner is 45, 5’10, 150 lbs, very hairy. Third co-owner is Chuck. He is 59, 6′, 175 lbs, smooth but hung like horse. The 4th co-owner is Nick. He is 38, 140 lbs and 5′ 10. The newest co-owener is Shaun. Then 2 guys became co-owners and brought their 2 sons, twins. Then there is a twink who moved up to becoming a co-owner. And last co-owner is Jeremy, who is 42. Want a total of 13 co-owners and 20 twinks, so getting close..

The new co-owner will have equal control with us over all the twinks. Am willing to take a new co-owner who is female as long as she brings sufficient finances to the venture. He or she will move in with us at our isolated farm and we will develop the twink farm together. My 17 current twinks are aged, 18, 19, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 19, 21, 19, 23, 18, 25, 19, 24, 19. The 20 year old twink is in the profile pic.

ALSO LOOKING FOR OTHER TWINKS. This is an ideal situation for someone who is looking for a multi twink household and live in a remote place where you can be naked inside and outside. Message me if have interest. Only 3 more twinks and we will no longer have space, so you need to move quickly.

The new co-owner should be highly sexed, std free, very into twinks with few if any limits or at least willing to try most anything. He will need to be able to relocate to my farm asap.

What do the twinks do? They work on the farm 40 hours a week cooking, cleaning, planting crops, weeding, freezing and canning. (We grow most of our food). In addition twinks work at cutting down trees, sawing wood for firewood, and splitting it. Rough work, but twinks are able to wear boots and protective gear, but their asses are always available. Of course lots of chores on the farm to do.

This year we just completed a new building for the co-owners’ lodging. Every co-owner will have their private room. There will be an new dining hall and twinks will now sleep in the new building. The old barn is purely a sex dungeon now. Twinks were involved in the construction. It will be supervised by a gay contractor friend of mine and he will use the twins however he wants in compensation.

Twinks work 8-5 most days, but evenings and weekends are reserved for the sex dungeon (a large barn where slaves sleep and is heated by wood in winter). It is a very well equipped dungeon. Twinks get fucked at least once a day, usually a whole lot more.

So you can see there is work, but also lots of fucking sex constantly. Twinks eat a healthy diet, but not at the table. Only co-owners eat there.

Ask any questions, but if u r a good looking twink, you will not find a better situation to live the naked life and have all the sex your co-owners want for you. So message me and let’s get started.

Guestbook of CO-OWNATWINKFARM

Barber – Jan 12, 2023
I’m a retired military barber. I noticed that pictured boy has some hair on his body. Looking to give him a haircut and or shave, not limited to what is growing on the head. If it is hair, it was meant to be cut and or shaved. I don’t care where it is growing on the body.

Body Type Athletic
Ethnicity Latin
Body Hair Not very hairy
Smoker No
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages English, Spanish
Position Bottom only
Dick L – Uncut
Dirty Yes
S&M Yes
Fisting Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Never
Hourly Rate On request
Overnight Rate On request

 

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CokeWhore, 19
Coventry

Hi. I’m Archi. I’m from Ecuador. I am someone with an intellectual disability. I was in a car accident when I was two years old. Please do not judge me too harshly when you first DM me! I am looking for a someone to help me pay my rent which is £7000 and is due today please help. I also have a younger brother who is with me here in England. He’s straight but accepting of what our situation needs from him, so it would be ok if someone would also like to have him too. I don’t have a visa and neither does he. We have been here illegally for 2 years.

Guestbook of CokeWhore

CokeWhore (Owner) – Jan 1, 2023
My brother and I are ok now.
We are owned by Sayidi Hamza.
My surname is now : مراد عبد الاحد
As previous Catholics we embrace Allah and serve God and Sayidi.
Now we wear Kaftan robes.

sprayme90 – Dec 21, 2022
Interested in having a long, deep conversation with you and your brother. Who knows where that will take us.

Body Type Average
Ethnicity Latin
Body Hair Not very hairy
Smoker Yes
Tattoos A few
Piercings No
Languages Spanish, English
Position Versatile
Dick M – Uncut
Dirty No answer
S&M No answer
Fisting No answer
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Let’s talk
Hourly Rate 7000£
Overnight Rate 7000£

 

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WildAssBoy, 19
Hamburg

I have the best ass you’ll ever see.

Fill it with cum for 50€ per half hour.

Guestbook of WildAssBoy

Anonymous – Jan 9, 2023
Go back to your country and ask for this kind of money!! They will hang you alive!!

ItsAllBulshit – Jan 8, 2023
My name is Ferndando. You make me so horny! What are your greatest desires? What upsets you? I want to give you the best sex of your life!

nicotine04 – Jan 6, 2023
I’d say he’s about 90% submissive vapid airhead. This does leave a small chance that he might say something interesting but it’s a rare occasion.

trek – Jan 6, 2023
Your face is very cute. It’s just like the face that I was looking for all my life, and never found. I’m sorry the universe put us continents apart.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity Arab
Body Hair Smooth
Smoker Yes
Tattoos Yes
Piercings Yes
Languages Dari, Pashto, English
Position Bottom only
Dick S – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M Yes
Fisting Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Rarely
Hourly Rate 100€
Overnight Rate 500€

 

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DrBottle, 19
Raudondvaris

cute materialistic alcoholic bottom into gross men 🥰
be ugly and unclean and full of weird kinks and mean things you want to do to someone.
with alcohol intoxication i go from a normal G rated teen to craving to be covered in spit and items shoved inside me within a few minutes.
ideally i’ll be embarrassed to be seen leaving after our date, falling down drunk and covered in cum and spit and worse.
set a price, get drunk with me, then make me do something i’ll regret 💕
not sure where we can meet but definitely not my house.

Guestbook of DrBottle

Neone – Jan 10, 2023
Higher the amount, bloomier the bed.

DrBottle (Owner) – Jan 5, 2023
i have met a few men from here over the years but i also sadly played them in my earlier days but i hope to be given another chance.
i was still embarrassed of being a whore and i was scared to be used by men but alcohol changed all that.
it started with a forced alcohol intox date where i was turned into a drunken piggy who spun a game roulette wheel and did everything it said from singing songs to very heavy raunch, etc.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Smooth
Smoker Yes
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages Lithuanian, English
Position More bottom
Dick M – Cut
Dirty Yes
S&M Yes
Fisting Active/Passive
Kissing No
Safer Sex Never
Hourly Rate 150€
Overnight Rate 1000€

 

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SignOfHell, 18
Oradea

Passive/Bottom HIV (positive) UNDETECTABLE abrosexual with no place to do it.

Guestbook of SignOfHell

betterthanhim – Jan 2, 2023
Normal sex with him is good, but weird is fantastic.

SignOfHell (Owner) – Dec 29, 2022
I just drift about leaving chaos in my wake. I’m like marmite pants.

Unwritten – Dec 29, 2022
Don’t be fooled by his photo, he’s as baby faced as a 12 year-old. He slowly undressed out of his costume while telling me about his ass. Then he exposed it and thrust it at my camera. Just wait till you see him arch his back! He even read me some of his poetry.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Very little hair
Smoker Yes
Tattoos Yes
Piercings Yes
Languages Romanian, English
Position Bottom only
Dick L – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M Soft SM
Fisting Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Rarely
Hourly Rate 250€
Overnight Rate 800€

 

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poundmyboy, 18
Rhodes

I’m white aussie (43) who loves seeing my smooth Asian teen bf fucked by other men.
He’s short and very cute and very eager to please.
Can consider up 2/3 guys that would like to share him.
I will watch and kiss him while you’re doing him.

All Asian boys need it rough, so a little of it, it’s ok.
Use him without going through the blah blah…
I love using your cum as lube to fuck him once you’re done.

This is how to interpret him:
‘Please, a break’ = fuck harder, slap my ass
‘It hurts, stop’ = don’t stop, break my pussy
Pleeeeaase…. = yeeessss
I’m begging… = not enough tears

He knows that he shouldn’t cum without doing it in my mouth – teach your Asians well – all about the mind.

UPDATE: He has braces now! – He uses rubber bands that doesn’t let him open the mouth at night. But, if you want, I can put them on before the meeting, it sounds so nice when the bitch tries to moan or talk with them…

Guestbook of poundmyboy

LordWalter – Jan 3, 2023
Call me LordWalter

LordWalter – Jan 3, 2023
I would like your bf to be a cow that way he can moo while fucked I am 41 and getting older looking for cows to share some fun as life so short

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity Asian
Body Hair Smooth
Smoker No
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages Japanese, English
Position Bottom only
Dick S – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M Soft SM
Fisting Passive
Kissing No
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 200$
Overnight Rate 1000$

 

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AndreLucas, 25
Prague

Former East Boys twink model now offering meets and greets.

Guestbook of AndreLucas

SoggyPotato – Jan 8, 2023
I would like to teach you to ski.

AndreLucas (Owner) – Jan 2, 2023
I don’t know how to form emotional connections with other human beings but if that’s what you want I know how to fake it.

Millionlittlereasons – Dec 29, 2022
It has to be done! 2023 has to be the year I fuck Andre Lucas so all advice welcome.

Yeah_sure – Dec 21, 2022
Andre has visibly hit some hard times (drugs, my guess) since his days letting disembodied hands jack him off on camera. He’s thinner and rather sepulchral (though still pretty) and has at least a dozen tattoos, many of them large and stupid and in places you’ll wish they weren’t.

AndreLucas (Owner) – Dec 14, 2022
Sure. I have been turning men into cash pigs for 2 years now and have drained them for €1000’s and don’t think I’ll ever get bored of it.

Alexandrup – Dec 14, 2022
I’m a pretty straight forward guy. I’m really into your ass and I want to worship it.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Not very hairy
Smoker Yes
Tattoos Yes
Piercings No
Languages Czech, English
Position More top
Dick L – Uncut
Dirty NO
S&M Soft SM
Fisting Active/Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Let’s talk
Hourly Rate 300€
Overnight Rate 1000€

 

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boredlikeastone, 18
Helsinki

I have no plans for this weekend.

Guestbook of boredlikeastone

boredlikeastone (Owner) – Jan 7, 2023
I have plans except for Sunday 10 am to 3 pm this weekend.

Phil54240 – Jan 7, 2023
Exploring him rn

boredlikeastone (Owner) – Jan 6, 2023
I’m looking for someone lonely.

Body Type Average
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Smooth
Smoker No
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages Finnish, English
Position More bottom
Dick S – Cut
Dirty No
S&M No
Fisting No
Kissing Consent
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 50€
Overnight Rate On request

 

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AlwaysReady, 24
Autonomous City of Buenos Aire

First of all, I’m not going to anyone’s house or anything! I give you my ass in my car. Car can be parked anywhere in Buenos Aires during the week or at the weekend. Even if I can’t stand your dick, you have my permission to ram me until you cum. I’m not a nice person but VERY accessible (tell me if you understood that when you write to me).

Guestbook of AlwaysReady

AlwaysReady (Owner) – Jan 7, 2023
Maybe I should say that despite appearances I have multiple high grades in the arts to which I contribute with lectures, submitting art to galleries and I’m currently writing a book on the subject!

Dante – Jan 7, 2023
He has decorated his car like a palace and being in his car is an expierence in itself.,, a true wonderland of adult entertainment.

Hardey – Jan 2, 2023
I am very interested in knowing about your past, not to hold it against you, conversely, for me to use this knowledge to learn how to love you.

Body Type Slim
Ethnicity Latin
Body Hair Shaved
Smoker Yes
Tattoos No
Piercings Yes
Languages Spanish, English
Position More bottom
Dick L – Uncut
Dirty No
S&M Soft SM
Fisting Passive
Kissing Yes
Safer Sex Rarely
Hourly Rate 70$
Overnight Rate 250$

 

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Luisfer, 23
Castilla y León

straight but from time to time i get sick when i smoke some rock and a guy makes me eat a dick mouth to the butt

i also eat feet sometimes if theres enough rock

gotta pay for me unless you hot take ur chance

Guestbook of Luisfer

DiscreetFantasy – Jan 11, 2023
he loves lana del rey and getting kissed on the forehead

mentallydrained – Jan 10, 2023
The sex was unobtrusive, but it can’t be completed without giving you a thumbs up.

muscleuse – Jan 9, 2023
I had to fuck Luisfer while my boyfriend watched on cam. He makes the rules.

Luisfer (Owner) – Jan 9, 2023
i am married but wife is completely fine with it and finds it all kinds of sexy

Body Type Average
Ethnicity Latin
Body Hair Some
Smoker No
Tattoos No
Piercings No
Languages Spanish, English
Position Versatile
Dick L – Uncut
Dirty WS only
S&M No
Fisting No
Kissing Consent
Safer Sex Sometimes
Hourly Rate 200€
Overnight Rate 800€

 

_____________


lucas_pill, 18
Praha

find out why i call myself lucas pill

Guestbook of lucas_pill

lucas_pill (Owner) – Jan 4, 2023
when you walk in the room you’ll be walking into the doors of heaven, or maybe hell!!

obeisance – Jan 4, 2023
I would love for you to get in my head.

lucas_pill (Owner) – Jan 4, 2023
my face is my poetry / my body is my legacy

Body Type Average
Ethnicity White
Body Hair Not very hairy
Smoker Yes
Tattoos Yes
Piercings Yes
Languages Czech, English
Position Prefer not to say
Dick M – Uncut
Dirty No answer
S&M No answer
Fisting No answer
Kissing Consent
Safer Sex Let’s talk
Hourly Rate 80€
Overnight Rate 300€

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. So, tomorrow I’m traveling to Southern California where I’ll be continuing the preproduction work for Zac Farley’s and my new film ‘Room Temperature’ for 3 1/2 weeks. While there, I’m going to be really busy and mobile, so I’ll only be able to post and talk with commenters once a week, on Saturdays. I apologise for that, but it really can’t be helped. So please continue talking with me as you like, just with a lengthier than usual delay in my response. I’ll start posting and interacting daily again on Friday, February 11th. Thank you a lot for your patience and understanding. ** CAUTIVOS, Hi. Well, quite a few of those disaster movies were also box office disasters, coincidentally. My worst movies … maybe, yeah. It wouldn’t things like ‘Trolls 2’. which I had fun with, but more like ‘arty’ bullshit movies, in my opinion, like ‘The Lighthouse’ or ‘Neon Demon’ or whatever. Those are the ones that make me want to throw things at the screen. I usually try to avoid doing ‘worst’ things posts mostly because I kind of hate arguing. To each their own and all of that. But I will think about it. Thank you for the suggestion. Best from Paris! ** Montse, Hi, Montse! First, thank you again so much for that email and its gifts! I really look forward to the point where getting ready for the film becomes exciting, and it will, but we’re still in the stressy part of securing money and trying to find people to work with and stuff, but we hopefully we will be beyond that phase soon. So good to get to see you before I take off into the distant workload. Take care, pal, and talk with you soon, I hope. ** Misanthrope, There’s probably an escort up there who would’ve happily held a little cup under your nostrils. Sleep is the best. I’ll be chasing it and fighting it off like crazy starting for a while tomorrow night. Have a fine week, sir. ** Dominik, Hi!!! You could have worse weekends. Maybe. Yes, having to house everyone out in the desert is one of the big costs that’s causing us a bunch of trouble, but there’s no choice since asking people to drive 2 1/2 hours to the set every morning on the very modest fees we will be paying them is not exactly going to work, ha ha. Despite your love’s best intentions — thank you! — it was very, very awkward with the woman and I will be very, very, very surprised if she gives us any money. Love’s simple duty is to make the week ahead the funnest week of your entire life, and he and I look forward to hearing about and it sharing info on our own week next Saturday, G. ** David Ehrenstein, Hm, I don’t I have a favorite strangely. Think I’m a glutton for their particular type of punishment and like them all. ** _Black_Acrylic, Understood. I can’t explain my cravings for them. You’ve never seen ‘Wizard of Oz’?! Wow, my suspicion is that you’re in for a big treat. Have a great week, Ben, and see you again soon. When does the online course start? ** Cody Goodnight, Hi, Cody. It’s great to meet you! If you’re in the mood for watching the world pretend to end plus high end — well, not always — special effects, those movies will kill time nicely. So sorry that I’ll be MIA for a week, but I’d be into hearing more about you and what you’re into if you don’t mind a little delay in the responding on my end. Take care. ** Bill, I think that, other ‘San Andreas’, every single disaster movie of the last five or maybe even ten years has been a huge box office flop. So there you go. Yeah, today isa  serious trip prep day, and tomorrow is the ‘zone out on shitty, expensive movies up in the sky’ day, and then … fingers crossed. How does your week ahead look, or how is it going, or how was it? ** Caesar, Hi. Sorry for missing your comment. I always seem to forget to check for late arriving comments once I start the p.s. Keeping fresh is so important, yes! If you like haunted houses, yes, you might just like our film. Most of the film is them building it. I guess our inspiration is just a passionate love of haunted house attractions, and home haunts made by people in their own homes in particular. I used to make them in our basement when I was a kid, and both Zac and I chase them down whenever we know of one that’s at least kind of accessible. It’s 10:39 am here at this very second. I’m a morning guy, and I always have been. It’s when I write my best, so I try to wake up early every day, like 6:30 am or so. I’d love to contribute. ‘Hogg’ is up there amongst the most fucked up novels ever, for sure. Hm, I guess all disaster movies are apocalyptic? Well, some of then are specifically about the end of the world, so obviously they’re more so than the ones that are about a burning skyscraper. I hope you had fun with your platonic friend. Sorry that I won’t get to talk with you for a week, but I greatly look forward to getting to do so. Have a great 7 days. ** Loser, Right, the ‘Scream’ movies, of course, I forgot. Yes, Wiley was … not too happy about Richard’s artworks. But I guess he must be over it now since they still exist. Thanks about my real people/fiction thing. It’s mostly been okay. Alex James was very, very unhappy about my usage of him in ‘Guide’, but, on other hand, Daniel Johns of Silverchair wrote to me to tell me how much he loved being distorted in that novel. I …don’t think I was into Jake Glyllenhaal? Wait, maybe when he was in ‘Donnie Darko’. Oh, wow, I hope your return to school went smoothly. Someone else who comments here had a kind of a similar school experience, strange. Here’s hoping they fully appreciate you now. Let me know how your week went or is going if you don’t mind, and I’ll do the same with mine next Saturday. ** Nick., Hi! Okay, I think your island wins the best utopian island contest. Nice day/night you had there, cool. I’m just in the stressed, getting ready to travel state, so my only fun is basically checking off the things I need to do on my to-do list before I leave. Funny, I often daydream about how much I’d love to have a meal or a coffee with my heroes. And I have a lot of heroes, so my ideal changes all the time. I’ve had a lifelong fantasy of having even a brief conversation with Rimbaud, but that’s kind of too obvious. Maybe, to be slightly more realistic, I’d either like to have a meal with this American fiction writer Joy Williams, who I revere and who seems like she’d be fun to talk to, or, to go wildly opposite, this ex-porn star named Scotty Clarke, who fascinates me for some reason. I guess the meal with Joy would Mexican food. I’d probably just ask her how she writes such amazing sentences. With Scotty, well, I think the meal would be him, frankly. And I guess my first question would be why he quit doing porn. Okay, who’s your ideal dinner date, meal, and question. You have a week to think about for better or worse, if you need the time. Do have a really great week, my friend, and I’ll talk with you at the end of it. ** shadeoutMapes:v, Hi! Gosh, I hope the blog post didn’t bring on that bad dream. Like I’ve probably said, when I remember my dreams, which is rarely, they always involve me being chased by someone who’s going to kill me. So I’m very happy that they vaporize so fast. You know, I played the first ‘Animal Crossing’, and I got so extremely addicted to it that I made it a rule to never play it or any game like it ever again. So far I’ve stuck to it. Obviously, I liked it. A little too much. ‘Dead by Daylight’ is a game I have wanted to play for a long time. I don’t know if it’s on Switch? I want to, if so. Have you played it? Recommend, if so? I’m really glad you liked Hollis Frampton. He’s one of my gods. Yeah, Deren’s ‘Meshes …’ is great. My favorite of hers is ‘Ritual in Transfigured Time’. I really hope Mr. Magnum made a long, special guest appearance in your last night’s dream. Sucks that I won’t get to talk with you for a week, but I really look forward to it when I get to. Take good care the next days, okay? ** Okay. Purely by the luck of the draw, you have escorts to look at when/if you’re here for a full week if you want. Can’t imagine. Y’all take good care of yourselves until Saturday when the blog and I will see you again.

Disaster Movie Day *

* (restored/expanded)

 

‘A disaster film is a film genre that has an impending or ongoing disaster as its subject and primary plot device. Such disasters include natural disasters such as floods, earthquakes or asteroid collisions, accidents such as shipwrecks or airplane crashes, or calamities like worldwide disease pandemics. The films usually feature some degree of build-up, the disaster itself and sometimes the aftermath, usually from the point of view of specific individual characters or their families.

‘These films often feature large casts of actors and multiple plotlines, focusing on the characters’ attempts to avert, escape or cope with the disaster and its aftermath. The genre came to particular prominence during the 1970s with the release of high-profile films such as Airport (1970), followed in quick succession by The Poseidon Adventure (1972), Earthquake (1974) and The Towering Inferno (1974).

‘The casts were generally made up of familiar character actors. Once the disaster begins in the film, the characters are usually confronted with human weaknesses, often falling in love and almost always finding a villain to blame. The genre experienced a renewal in the 1990s boosted by computer-generated imagery (CGI) and large studio budgets which allowed for more focus on the destruction, and less on the human drama, as seen in films like 1998’s Armageddon and Deep Impact. Nevertheless, the films usually feature a persevering hero or heroine (Charlton Heston, Steve McQueen, etc.) called upon to lead the struggle against the threat. In many cases, the “evil” or “selfish” individuals are the first to succumb to the conflagration.’ — collaged

 

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Stills



































































 

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Further

List of disaster films
DISASTER FILMS: Description and Examples
10 Defining 1970s Disaster Movies
THE CYNICISM OF THE MODERN DISASTER FILM
Climate change and cinema
Apocalypse wow: how Hollywood fell for disaster movies
Disaster films reflect nation’s turbulence
Why we can’t get enough of disaster films
Disaster films examined. Science or fiction?
Disaster Movies: A Loud, Long, Explosive, Star-studded Guide
Disaster Movies: The Cinema of Catastrophe
Representing politics in disaster films
Can a low-budget Russian disaster film look like a Hollywood blockbuster?
RECONSIDERING DISASTER FILMS AS HORROR
WHAT DISASTER FILMS MISS ABOUT DEATH
The lure of the disaster movie
A Scientist’s Perspective on Hollywood Disaster Films
TRENDS IN 70’S CINEMA: DISASTER MOVIES
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE DISASTER FILM GENRE

 

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Drugged popcorn
by Fred Kaplan

 

It’s true enough that the boredom of modern life both stimulates and requires the production of various kinds of spectacles, mass entertainment and otherwise. But is that all film criticism has to say in the face of the diverse forms these spectacles take? If it’s all reducible to boredom, then we don’t have to concern ourselves with how and why certain trends appear and gain popularity at different times. Monster and science-fiction films, big musicals, biblical epics, etc., all would then be regarded a essentially the same thing—“just entertainment” movies designed to satisfy the escapist longings of the masses and reap huge profits for the studios. But clearly the problem is more complicated than that.

On the most obvious level, if all spectacular, big budget movies were always equally big box office successes, Hollywood would have its tasks and worries enormously simplified. But beyond that, to argue that the disaster films do in fact reflect contemporary social reality, i.e., a society in crisis, does not require us to posit some kind of deliberate intention to achieve this on the part of those responsible for their production. The ways in which social factors condition and in turn are revealed in artistic production are complex and multifold. They often operate unconsciously, as if “behind the backs” of the individual artist or producer. That person, if asked about it, often quite sincerely denies that his or her work contains a political message, social implications, or anything other than what should be viewed in purely creative terms.

So in examining the disaster films, it may be less important to prove or disprove whether their creators had any consciously allegorical or ideological aims in mind, than it is to analyze what the plot, characterizations, and various dramatic devices are saying to the audience.

In THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE, EARTHQUAKE, and THE TOWERING INFERNO the disasters take the immediate form of great, overwhelming natural phenomena: a huge tidal wave, an earthquake, fire. The first two of these disasters could have been mitigated, the third avoided, but for the corruption, greed, or incompetence of certain individuals. The greedy Greek shipping company has made the Poseidon dangerously top-heavy but refuses the Captain’s request to slow its speed. In EARTHQUAKE both the seismology experts and the mayor hesitate to take the appropriate steps for fear of looking foolish if the quake didn’t happen. In THE TOWERING INFERNO there’s the corruption of the building’s electrical contractor who skimped on materials to increase his profits.

I would suggest that all of these films symbolically reproduce what happens to bourgeois ideology — the ideology which continues to maintain its hegemony in capitalist society — when it is subjected to the strains of a period of crisis.

The fact that the disasters come in the shape of natural phenomena corresponds to the fundamental reification of capitalist society. This is the idea that the economy is somehow a “natural” force itself, perceived by human beings as not only somewhat mysteriously independent of their will and activity but actually subjugating them to its own requirements. In the work of the classical bourgeois political economists, and even for some contemporary diehards like Milton Friedman, the market economy of capitalism is a rational, self-regulating force (the “invisible hand” is the mechanism of this rationality). Conventional economic wisdom was modified by Keynesian economics, which, to put it very roughly, sought to be able to remedy the dysfunctions of the market through government intervention in the economy.

What do these doctrines, together with their baggage of associated ideas, look like when they reach the level of mass ideology? Again, to put these things very roughly, there’s the notion that capitalism is “natural,” in accordance with “human nature,” and therefore the most workable system. There is also the idea that either the unimpeded workings of the market economy are rational and desirable (“our great free enterprise system,” which maximizes freedom of choice) or, since this was beginning to ring hollow even in times of prosperity, that the experts will know what to do to keep things running all right.

But bourgeois ideological hegemony is put in different straits, just as most working people are, when a crisis or slump hits. Inevitably the idea of blaming specific individuals for the problem—not the system itself—begins to occur, coined in terms of corruption, greed, etc.. To beat the crisis, what people have to do is to work together, make sacrifices, and get rid of the undesirable elements who were to blame for it, as well as the worn out leaders and “experts” who were unable to prevent and then deal with it. The need for new, fresh, energetic leadership is stressed. At the same time an appeal to traditional values of sacrifice, hard work, and self-help is made.

This is essentially what occurs in microcosm in the disaster films, particularly THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and EARTHQUAKE. Heroic leaders emerge (Gene Hackman, Charlton Heston) who come into conflict with previous, but now discredited, figures of authority, and ultimately guide people through the disaster to survival. Traditional values are constantly referred to and drawn upon throughout the adventure/ ordeal, from which they emerge revivified.

I hasten to add that it’s not only “the economy” that is reified in bourgeois ideological notions, nor is that sphere the only area of modern capitalist society which has proven susceptible to crisis. An undertow of dissent and dissatisfaction manifested itself in different ways at various times in the postwar period. The dissent intensified in the late 60s in what appeared to be an outbreak of social turmoil in politics, racial relations, sexual attitudes and behavior, culture, education, etc. Each of these related aspects of contemporary society experienced and continues to experience developments similar to what happens in regard to the economy at a time of crisis. Established institutions, conceptions, and authorities are hard-pressed by events and their viability is challenged. In the same way, there are attempts to maintain a sick status quo aimed at singling out culpable individuals as the cause of the problems (“outside agitators,” “over permissive” parents and educators, the press, various “misfits,” etc.). In turn there is a move to promote new, “dynamic” leadership ready and able to confront the culpable ones toughly, and a call for a return to the “time-tested” values and virtues.

 

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37 “disasters” (1969 – 2017)

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Bernard L. Kowalski Krakatoa East of Java (1969)
‘It’s generally accepted that the blockbuster business generated by the release of “Airport” in 1970 inspired the disaster movie craze of the decade. However, the year before, Cinerama’s “Krakatoa: East of Java” was a forerunner. The fact that the film was a critical and financial flop results in it often being overlooked in discussions of the disaster movie genre. The making of the film was covered in detail by Dave Worrall in Cinema Retro issue #22, but suffice it say, the entire production proved to be problematic both in terms of bringing it to the screen and also in regard to its marketing. The screenplay Clifford Newton Gould and Bernard Gordon uses the 1883 eruption of the titular island as the basis for an adventure epic, although what emerged was somewhat less than epic. Overlooking the fact that the historical record of the eruption, which had effect on nations worldwide, is presented in a simplistic, fictional manner, the production’s dramatic qualities are also lacking, squeezing in a number of sub-plots that don’t pay off in a satisfying manner.’ — Lee Pfeiffer


the entire film

 

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Ronald Neame The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
‘Even with the exceedingly dated special effects and hammy “Oh gawd we’re flipping over!” reactions, this sequence—which comes just after everyone below decks has finished boozily welcoming the New Year at midnight—is still a jaw-dropper. The subsequent moment when water punches through the wall of the ballroom—bringing certain death to those who refused to follow Rev. Scott’s pleas to evacuate—is almost as startling. And it’s at this point that the movie reveals its most brilliant piece of fashion innovation. At the New Year’s Eve party, teenager Susan (Pamela Sue Martin) is wearing a long dress, but when it comes time to climb to safety, she reveals that the skirt is detachable and conceals a pair of coordinating shorts. Apparently, this was a thing when it came to formalwear in the 1970s? But while Susan’s wardrobe choices are thrilling to see today, the treatment of Belle Rosen (Shelley Winters) has aged less well. “A fat woman like me can’t climb,” the kindly Belle insists. It’s the first in a jarringly mean running series of remarks about her weight, and it never gets any easier to hear them. She’s a grandmother, not a swimsuit model … …But she is—AS IT HAPPENS—a former underwater swimming champ of New York (for three years running!), as illustrated by what’s probably the most famous scene in The Poseidon Adventure.’ — gizmodo


Extended trailer


Excerpt

 

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John Guillermin The Towering Inferno (1974)
The Towering Inferno was produced by Irwin Allen, known as the “Master of Disaster” (also produced The Poseidon Adventure), and directed by John Guillermin. Note: Irwin Allen directed the action scenes. The film, written by Stirling Silliphant, was a fusion of two books: The Tower by Richard Martin Stern and The Glass Inferno by Thomas N. Scortia and Frank M. Robinson. The Towering Inferno was obviously a big budget film, with its ton of special effects and, most of all, its all-star cast: Paul Newman, Steven McQueen, William Holden, Faye Dunaway, Fred Astaire, Jennifer Jones, Richard Chamberlain, O.J Simpson, Robert Wagner, Susan Blakely, etc. A real Hollywood dream. The film costed around $14 000 000 to produce (around $68 000 000 today) and was a big commercial success, winning around $140 000 000 at the world box office on its release ($678 000 000 today).’ — The Wonderful World of Cinema


Trailer


The Making of …

 

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Mark Robson Earthquake (1974)
‘Inspired by the 1971 San Fernando earthquake that registered a 6.6 on the Richter scale, this disaster movie shook up its audience as well as its all-star cast. The studio employed an innovation known as “Sensurround” that involved giant speakers blasting low frequencies throughout theater auditoriums — the better to make filmgoers feel as if they were in the middle of real rumbler. The use of the aftershock-and-awe ballyhoo admittedly helped sell the abundance of shakicam on display, as well as temper some of the more genuinely giggle-inducing moments of mayhem (debris rains down, the earth cracks open…and then a stunt rider falls off his bike). Yet our favorite WTF moment doesn’t involve a technological gimmick; it’s the introduction of a truckload of cows (?) that careens off the Los Angeles freeway. Every time we watch that bovine nosedive, we can feel the earth move.’ — Rolling Stone


Excerpt

 

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Robert Michael Lewis The Day the Earth Moved (1974)
‘A pair of aerial photographers (Jackie Cooper and Cleavon Little) shooting pix in the Nevada desert determine that a massive earthquake is about to hit a tiny town in the middle of nowhere – but in tried and true disaster-movie fashion, the town’s residents don’t believe them till it’s too late, requiring them to fly back on a last minute rescue mission. An entertainingly cheap, but ultimately forgettable made-for-TV movie that was obviously trying to ride on the coat tails of the then-current big budget flick Earthquake!’ — Keith Act


the entire film

 

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Corey Allen Avalanche (1978)
‘”A mountain explodes, in a shattering blast of white fury!” Well, okay, if by “blast of white fury” you mean “the appearance of a thousand fire extinguishers going off at once.” All Rock Hudson wanted was to open up a nice ski resort and impress ex-wife Mia Farrow — how was he to know that a nearby plane crash would set off “20,000 tons of icy terror”? Directed by Corey Allen (no relation to Irwin, clearly) and produced by schlockmeister extraordinaire Roger Corman, this disaster movie features the sort of laughably bad set pieces that make you wonder if the special-effects budget exceeded three figures. Even the flooding of a hotel lobby by a giant snow drift feels MST3K-ready from the get-go.’ — Rolling Stone


the entire film

 

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Irwin Allen The Swarm (1978)
‘After successfully producing and directing 1974’s Towering Inferno, “Master of Disaster” Irwin Allen took on the dual role once again in this outing about a swarm of killer bees that migrate from South America and threaten to infest Houston. Michael Caine’s entomologist teams up with a heavy-handed general (Richard Widmark) to thwart the deadly bugs. Critics gave the film stinging reviews, but it’s camp at its best.’ — infoplease


Trailer


Highlights

 

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Ronald Neame Meteor (1979)
‘Another costly casualty of the disaster genre ebb was Meteor, a 1979 production that top-lined an impressive cast: Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Brian Keith, Karl Malden, Martin Landau, Trevor Howard and Henry Fonda. It was produced by Gabe Gatzka and Sandy Howard (among others), two veterans with very respected backgrounds in the film industry. The film was directed by another highly respected individual, Ronald Neame, the man who had helmed The Poseidon Adventure. On paper, the project must have looked like a “can’t lose” proposition. Yet, Meteor turned out to be a major flop at the boxoffice as well as a critical disaster. What went wrong? To start with, it was probably ill-advised to entrust the production to American-International Pictures which specialized in making low-budget horror and teeny bopper exploitation films. The AIP association branded Meteor with a “cheesy” stigma even before cameras rolled.’– Cinema Retro


the entire film

 

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Irwin Allen Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979)
‘On the morning after the Poseidon’s disastrous night, tugboat captain Michael Caine and sidekick Sally Field get back on board the Poseidon and find left-over survivors who were not drowned during the original movie, and then bad guy Telly Savalas puts them all in jeopardy, and then… But what did we really, sincerely, expect anyway, from a movie in which Karl Malden plays a character named ‘Wilbur,’ and Slim Pickens plays a character named ‘Tex’? If you can think of a single line of dialog that Slim Pickens, as ‘Tex,’ wouldn’t say in Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, please do not miss this movie, which will be filled with amazements and startling revelations.’ — Roger Ebert

the entire film


The Making of …

 

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James Goldstone When Time Ran Out… (1980)
‘I recently came across an interesting segment of “The Tonight Show” starring Johnny Carson from 1980 with Carson interviewing William Holden while he’s on the show to promote his latest film When Time Ran Out… (1980), a terrible Irwin Allen-produced disaster film about tourists on a Pacific island fleeing in terror from an erupting volcano. With shoddy special effects, mostly indifferent performances (especially by Paul Newman), slow pacing, and bad writing, When Time Ran Out… is the sort of film that makes people cynical about Hollywood filmmaking since it was produced as part of a deal Irwin Allen made with Warner Brothers to make a series of disaster movies that included The Swarm (1978), Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979) and countless made-for-TV movies. My understanding is that Paul Newman and William Holden only appeared in the movie to fulfill their contractual obligation to do another disaster epic for Irwin Allen after making The Towering Inferno (1974) for him. By the time When Time Ran Out… was made, the genre had run its course and Warner Brothers had become impatient with Allen to such a degree that they purportedly cut the budget of the movie in mid-production, thus explaining the threadbare production values and special effects. I’ve read that Holden didn’t like the film at all, particularly as he got billing below Paul Newman, as well as the fact that leading lady Jacqueline Bisset doesn’t end up with his character at the end, but with Newman’s. I also recall reading in Bob Thomas’ biography of William Holden that he drank heavily throughout the production of When Time Ran Out… and that that alarmed the filmmakers since the film entailed difficult stunts and locations. As such, it was apparent that this was hardly one of Holden’s proudest accomplishments as an actor.’ — Hill Place


Excerpt

 

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Kenjirô Ohmori Deathquake (1980)
Deathquake, made in 1980, is a disaster movie that is not a new area for Toho. Films like Nippon chinbotsu AKA Submersion of Japan (1973) were very successful in Japan, among the few other films. In Deathquake, the story itself is quite simple. Seismologist Yoichi Kawazu (Hiroshi Katsuno) finds out that an enormous earthquake will hit Tokyo, Japan. This information will have a strong affect on him, and his relationship with his wife and son is hurting. His superiors and other important people don´t take him that seriously, so he´s looking for comfort with a young woman. In the meantime, the earthquake is coming nearer and nearer. Some effects-scenes are very affective, considering that there were no CGI-effects (all were made via miniatures and sets, with a few photographic-effects here-and-there).’ — DVD Compare


the entire film

 

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Ernest Pintoff St. Helens (1981)
‘St. Helens is a 1981 made-for-cable HBO television film directed by Ernest Pintoff, and starring David Huffman, Art Carney, Cassie Yates, and Albert Salmi. The film centers on the events leading up to the cataclysmic 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens in Washington, with the story beginning on the day volcanic activity started on March 20, 1980, and ending on the day of the eruption, May 18, 1980. The film premiered on May 18, 1981, on the first anniversary of the eruption. The film is noted for being the first Hollywood soundtrack of the Italian prog-rock group Goblin.’ — Wiki


the entire film

 

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Georg Fenady Cave In! (1983)
Cave-In! is an American action film starring Dennis Cole, Leslie Nielsen, and James Olson. The movie was produced by Irwin Allen in 1979 in association with Warner Bros. Television for NBC but not aired until 1983. A park ranger must lead a US senator, a disgraced cop, his wife, a manipulative professor and his daughter across five miles of dangerous terrain to escape an unstable cavern, unaware that the seventh member of the group is an armed and violent escaped convict.’ — Wikipedia


the entire film

 

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Jan de Bont Twister (1996)
Twister, directed by Jan de Bont, is tireless filmmaking. It lacks the wit of his Speed, but it sure has the energy. If the actors in this movie want to act, they have to run to catch up with the camera, which is already careening down a dirt road to watch while an oil tanker truck spins into the air, crashes and explodes. The movie is wall-to-wall with special effects, and they’re all convincing, although it’s impossible for me to explain how Bill and Jo escape serious injury while staring right up into the Suck Zone of the Finger of God. I think the movie has to be graded on two scales. As drama, Twister resides in the Zone. It has no time to waste on character, situation, dialogue and nuance. The dramatic scenes are holding actions between tornadoes. As spectacle, however, Twister is impressive. The tornadoes are big, loud, violent and awesome, and they look great.’ — Roger Ebert


Excerpt


Excerpt

 

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Ridley Scott White Squall (1996)
‘Although screenwriter Todd Robinson and director Ridley Scott take forever to get there, the central event is a titanic storm, the white squall of the title, that capsizes the ship and takes the lives of several students and Sheldon’s wife. After the survivors are rescued, despite his heroic efforts to save his students and crew, Sheldon is brought up before a tribunal threatening to take his sailing certificate away. The only question I can think of at this point is “Why?”‘ — SFGate


Trailer

 

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Roger Donaldson Dante’s Peak (1997)
‘In the opening, Pierce Brosnan makes his debut as shrill vulcanologist Harry Dalton. In Harry’s first words he screams something incomprehensible that sounds like “Get out of here.” The bad news is that you will be able to hear the rest of the dialog in the film. (“I’ve always been better at volcanoes than figuring out people and politics,” Harry tells us. “I move around a lot, wherever there’s a volcano with an attitude,” he explains in another scene.) If you liked TWISTER, you’ll probably find DANTE’S PEAK equally satisfying. In both films, the star is backed up by a rag-tag team of nerds ready to save their hero at a moment’s notice. (The team is at its funniest when the volcano erupts. When the team runs to their computers to see the images, the only female nerd, looking out the window, chides them, “Why look at the computer when you can look at the real thing.”) Like TWISTER, the only reason for the film to exist are the special effects. Although the special effects by Thomas Kittle are spectacular, the sound effects by David MacMillan are even more impressive. Some of the explosions had me almost jumping out of my seat.’ — Steve Rhodes


Trailer


Excerpt

 

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Mick Jackson Volcano (1997)
‘I expected to see a mountainous volcano in Volcano, towering high over Los Angeles. But the movie takes place at ground level; It’s about how lava boils out of the La Brea Tar Pits, threatens a stretch of Wilshire Boulevard, and then takes a shortcut through the city sewer system. The ads say “The Coast Is Toast,” but maybe they should say “The Volcano Is Drano.” This is a surprisingly cheesy disaster epic. It’s said that Volcano cost a lot more than Dante’s Peak, a competing volcano movie released two months ago, but it doesn’t look it. Dante’s Peak had better special effects, a more entertaining story, and a real mountain. Volcano is an absolutely standard, assembly-line undertaking; no wonder one of the extras is reading a paperback titled “Screenwriting Made Easy.” The movie stars Tommy Lee Jones, professional as always even in this flimsy story, as the chief of the city’s Office of Emergency Management. He races through the obligatory opening scenes of all disaster movies (everyday life, ominous warnings, alarm sounded by hero scientist, warnings poo-pooed by official muckety-mucks, etc.). Soon manhole covers are being blown sky-high, subway trains are being engulfed by fireballs, and “lava bombs” are flying through the air and setting miniature sets on fire.’ — Roger Ebert


Montage of excerpts

 

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Graeme Campbell Volcano: Fire on the Mountain (1997)
‘The main character even says “pyroclastic flow”!!!!! I am going to work that phrase into every review of every volcano movie I watch. Cheap TV movies used to be so much better. The success of Sharknado really laid the ground work for bad CGI work to carry too many of this garbage movies through. This one had to make do with smoke and lava that looks like someone’s chumming the ocean. And you know what? I loved it. The relationship drama was just as pointless and hackneyed, the characters just as empty, but the effects at least did look like bad photoshopping.’ — Sally Jane Black


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Mimi Leder Deep Impact (1998)
‘Rare indeed is the artist/entertainer who can juggle convincing emotion and convincing CGI effects. Deep Impact juggles so relentlessly that it seems positively schizo, giving us a little “character development” here and a little mini-disaster there, leading up to the big event — death from above, the tidal waves and mass destruction, the skyscrapers scattering like petals. And good God, does this ever not work. You can feel the audience’s impatience during the obligatory tedious dialogue scenes, the disappointment when the movie finally gets around to those big destruction scenes, which can’t possibly live up to all the build-up and anticipation.’ — efilmcritic


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Mikael Salomon Hard Rain (1998)
Hard Rain is one of those movies that never convince you its stories are really happening. From beginning to end, I was acutely aware of actors being paid to stand in cold water. Suspension of my disbelief in this case would have required psychotropic medications.’ — Roger Ebert


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Wolfgang Petersen The Perfect Storm (2000)
‘The special effects and the action scenes are excellent, but this film fails in many ways. It’s very hard to make a good book into a good movie, even a good book that seems inherently cinematic, as this one does, with all its swirling winds and crashing waves. The dialogue is corny, with lines like “This is where they separate the men from the boys.” The storm doesn’t happen until an hour and a half into the film, and each of the characters is trotted out to show one identifying characteristic. Wahlberg, Fichtner, Lane, and Reilly, four fine actors, are left more adrift by the script than their characters are by the storm, while the talents of other good actors are wasted. The book tells a sad story, but the film just feels maudlin, and the scenes on land following the storm go on too long. This is where we really need some insight and some good dialogue, and we just don’t get it. And there is one scene, just before one character dies, where he speaks to a loved one and sees her in an apparition that even the producers of “Message in a Bottle” would have been embarrassed to try.’ — Common Sense Media


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James Seale Scorcher (2002)
‘Ripped from today’s theater screens comes the latest direct-to-DVD knockoff, Scorcher, a tepid reworking of The Core. Say what you will about using lame source material, Scorcher is laughably bad in its own right. As with Core, our meddling has caused some kind of tectonic trouble, and if the gap between two plates opens wider than 44 centimeters (yeah, whatever), then we will literally have “hell on earth” as earthquakes and volcanoes sprout up all over the planet. Uh huh. And so our hero geologists (including John Rhys-Davies!), under the direction of President Rutger Hauer(!!!), are tasked with finding a solution. Naturally, that involves setting off a nuclear bomb somewhere. In the case of Scorcher, it means detonating the nuke in central Los Angeles. Sounds like an improvement to me, but whatever, after quietly evacuating the tens of millions of people who live there, a wrench involving our military co-hero (Mark Dacascos) and a kidnapped daughter gets thrown at us, not to mention crossed signals between the military dudes tasked with getting the nukes set just so.’ — Contact Music


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Jon Amiel The Core (2003)
The Core is a sometimes humorous but mostly grinding motley-crew-saving-the-world movie. In this instance, the earth’s core has stopped rotating, which means 1) the protective electromagnetic field will fail, and 2) “everybody on earth will be dead within a year.” A grim prognosis and, not incidentally, a nifty set-up for the overwhelming darkness out of which those “truly heroic” characters might find their objects of humor.’ — pop matters


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Roland Emmerich The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
‘Though the movie depicts an international cataclysm, the story mainly divides itself between the exploits of Jack, in Washington, D.C., and those of his son (Jake Gyllenhaal), who finds himself stranded inside Manhattan’s great Fifth Avenue library as conditions worsen and temperatures drop. Emmerich relies more on the personal in The Day After Tomorrow than he did in Independence Day, the main reason the new movie is weaker in comparison. Yet it’s difficult to see how he had much of a choice. In The Day After Tomorrow, there’s no villain, no enemy to fight and no obvious climax. When Jack decides he needs to go to New York to rescue his son, the plot turn may seem faintly absurd (what will he do once he gets there?), but Emmerich obviously needed a story. It’s good enough. Of course, Quaid acts as though the story is considerably better than good enough. He acts as though he were in Macbeth, playing Jack forcefully and with no irony. His straight-ahead seriousness may be slightly misplaced at times — the script sometimes fails him — but his commitment is still admirable, and the movie benefits. He’s a rock. So is Sela Ward, who approaches the role of his wife, an oncologist, with a similar, if less intense, gravity. Emmerich clearly did not want The Day After Tomorrow to be yet another smirky blockbuster.’ — SFGate


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Christoph Schrewe Post Impact (2004)
‘This movie was absolutely boring. I think the director was on a cheap budget trying to compete against the movie The Day After Tomorrow and failed miserably. the effects were horrible, comedical to be exact. The acting was poor, and the plot was too rushed and shallow. Not worth spending the money on to even rent it from a video store.’ — Mark Blah


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Wolfgang Petersen Poseidon (2006)
‘During the age of disaster movies, before Cameron’s Folly, wasn’t there another ocean liner calamity spectacular that scored high at the box office? Yes, indeedy! It was The Poseidon Adventure (1972), in which a cruise ship was turned upside down by a freak wave and a plucky band of assorted “characters,” led by the intrepid Reverend Frank Scott (Gene Hackman), forced its way up through the debris of collapsed infrastructure, as water rushed in, to freedom. Finally, post-T, post-CGI, those imaginative Hollywood execs at head office decided on a bigger, better, bolder remake to suit the PlayStation generation. The result is tame, confusing – without a map of the ship, how does anyone know where they are? – unexciting, predictable and repetitive. Worst of all, you don’t care about the people. Character development has been ditched in favour of yet another scene of devastation and dumb courage.’ — Eye for Film

the entire film

 

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Robert Lee Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006)
‘The core of the earth has risen to unfathomable temperatures. Oceans boil. Once inactive volcanoes now burst to life. Lava spews down city streets. The earth is a time bomb. In days it will explode. Our only hope is to expel enough gas and molten lava from the core to cool it down rapidly. And this means drilling to the center of the earth to create the largest volcano this planet has ever seen.’ — flashbackent


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Roland Emmerich 2012 (2009)
‘It’s not so much that the Earth is destroyed, but that it’s done so thoroughly. 2012, the mother of all disaster movies (and the father, and the extended family) spends half an hour on ominous set-up scenes (scientists warn, strange events occur, prophets rant and of course a family is introduced) and then unleashes two hours of cataclysmic special events hammering the Earth relentlessly. This is fun. 2012 delivers what it promises, and since no sentient being will buy a ticket expecting anything else, it will be, for its audiences, one of the most satisfactory films of the year. It even has real actors in it. Like all the best disaster movies, it’s funniest at its most hysterical. You think you’ve seen end-of-the-world movies? This one ends the world, stomps on it, grinds it up and spits it out.’ — Roger Ebert


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JK Youn Tidal Wave (2009)
‘At the least the cold-hearted corporates in Hollywood waited for over 60 years before turning the tragedy of the Titanic into a schmaltzy teen romance. No such respect for the 2004 tsunami victims is displayed by the South Korean film industry – five years on, the most devastating natural disaster to ever impact the region becomes fodder for soap-opera posturing and B-movie plotting. There are cheap thrills to be had from the spectacular destruction of the Pusan coastline, and a modicum of tension is generated in scenes involving the heroic actions of the leads. But with too many climaxes to enable suspended disbelief for 117 minutes, Haeundae embodies the worst aspects of the waning disaster-movie genre.’ — SBS Movies


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J.A. Bayona The Impossible (2012)
‘Remember when Clint Eastwood’s godawful Hereafter came out in 2010, and everyone said “Well, at least the tsunami sequence is good?” Well, now we can finally forget about that movie entirely thanks to The Impossible, in which Juan Antonio Bayona recreates the 2004 South Pacific tsunami with unforgettable, almost unbearable intensity. The true story that gives the film its narrative is an impressive tale of survival told with maximum schmaltz, and by focusing on a wealthy British family who suffered the tsunami because they were in Thailand on vacation, The Impossible comes dangerously close to minimizing the experience of millions of South Pacific islanders who lost everything in the disaster. But Bayona has picked a story with every emotional note to play, and he plucks those strings perfectly.’ — Cinema Blend


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Peter Sullivan Christmas Twister (2012)
Christmas Twister, also known as F6: Twister, is a 2012 action thriller that’s awfully light on action and thrills, but positively dripping with terrible acting and even worse special effects. But it does have one huge thing going for it: the (unintentionally) funniest script about bad weather ever written. The biggest name in its cast is Casper Van Dien, looking a bit more weathered than in his Starship Troopers heyday, but still square-jawed and believably heroic. (Look closely and you’ll also spot Steven Williams, forever 21 Jump Street’s Captain Fuller, but also so great on the last season of The Leftovers.) Second-billed is Richard Burgi, whose current gig is General Hospital, but in 2012 was double-hitting on Desperate Housewives and One Tree Hill.’ — gizmodo


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Ji-hoon Kim The Tower (2012)
‘If you’re thinking The Tower is indebted to The Towering Inferno you are quite right – director Kim has readily admitted that Inferno was one inspiration for this film, and some scenes echo of similar set pieces from the Steve McQueen classic. But The Tower ups the ante, taking the disastrous events even further with the entire building threatening to collapse – so when the fires are taken care of, our heroes are faced with a new round of problems. Towards the end, the film heads into 9/11 territory which makes for some surprisingly powerful moments. The Tower is certainly as cliché-ridden and formulaic as any other disaster movie, but it still manages to engage and exhilarate. The characters might be flimsy but the setup is handled lightly and economically, and it’s easy to take a liking to them. While the actors all give good performances – particularly Kyung-gu Sol (who also starred in Tidal Wave) as legendary firefighter Young-ki – the brilliant visual effects work is the true star of the film. It simply looks great, and there is not one dull moment as the characters have to face fires, indoor tsunamis, collapsing glass bridges and falling elevators. Also, here’s something as unusual as a disaster movie that manages to deliver a couple of scenes that are laugh-out loud funny – and intentionally so (!).’ — Disaster Movie World


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Jason Bourque Seattle Superstorm (2012)
‘When a meteorite crashes in Seattle severe storms start to occur, worse than the normal rain the city is known for. I am a sucker for disaster flicks and when talks of aliens are involved I instantly become glued to the screen. This is over the top in all of the right ways. The special effects can be a little goofy and the source of the storm is out there. If you are looking for a fun disaster flick, Seattle Superstorm can scratch that itch.’ — Rich Strahs


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Paul W.S. Anderson Pompeii (2014)
‘As much bloodletting as happens in this movie—and there’s quite a bit of it before the volcano action (presaged by a lot of building foundational cracks and such) gets underway—the movie is otherwise relentless in its wholesomeness. There’s more real depravity on the screen and in the soul of Cecil B. De Mille’s 1932 The Sign of the Cross than there is here. However, the action scenes are choice, and once the clouds of ash and shooting fire and churning seas start up, Pompeii achieves a momentum that most sensationalist studio fare can’t touch. By the end of the movie one senses that Anderson and company were going for a little bit more, particularly in the, you know, profundity department. But the civilians sitting a row ahead of me just giggled at the movie’s final shot, because, well I guess you’ve heard the saying “I wouldn’t be caught dead like that.” Tough crowd!’ — Glenn Kenny


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the entire film

 

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George Erschbamer Fire Twister (2015)
‘I really hope that who ever financed “Fire Twister” did so with an incredible tight grip on the purse strings as truth be told I can’t believe that after this movie was made they decided it was good enough to be released. Now I love watching bad disaster movies, there is nothing I enjoy more when I have either sat through some heavy movies or some genuinely under whelming movies to watch an entertainingly bad movie but “Fire Twister” sucks on a whole different level, a level I don’t think I have encountered before.’ — The Movie Scene

the entire film

 

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Brad Peyton San Andreas (2015)
‘Kind of noteworthy, if not actually remarkable, then, is that the movie actually works as well as it does, offering up suspense set pieces that are genuinely suspenseful despite one’s security that everyone in the top-billed cast that we’re supposed to care about will be okay. The direction by Brad Peyton is particularly effective during the brisk scenes of disaster, from the felling of Hoover Dam to the snapping of the Golden Gate Bridge. I’m not sure whether it was the editing or my own willing suspension of disbelief but the CGI-manufactured scenes of mass destruction are among the most realistic in this mode I’ve ever seen.’ — Glenn Kenny


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Dean Devlin Geostorm (2017)
‘For the first time since The Day After Tomorrow (2004), Hollywood finds the nerve to acknowledge climate change, though only in the most cowardly terms, hawking the pernicious fantasy of a global satellite system that can neutralize extreme weather events on earth. The problem isn’t your carbon-spewing SUV—it’s a villain inside the Democratic presidential administration who’s reprogrammed the system to obliterate enemies of the U.S. (Frenemies, anyway—Dubai and Hong Kong fall victim to calamitous storms, but not Tehran or Pyongyang.) Gerard Butler plays the swaggering bad-boy astronaut called out of retirement to blast off to the International Space Station and straighten things out. The script, every scene of which you’ve seen 100 times already, ends with a sermon urging us to unite and salvage the future, though this rings hollow coming at the end of a $120 million exercise in sci-fi denial.’ — Chicago Reader


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*

p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Me too. Yeah, Zac and I will stay at my LA pad all during the getting ready to shoot phase of the film. It looks like we’ll be shooting it in a desert town near Joshua Tree, and that’s about 2 1/2-3 hours away, so we (and everyone) will be staying out there during the actual filming. Right, Switch as incentive. Like a pet that doesn’t need to be fed or taken for walks and that you have no emotional attachment to. Well, maybe a teeny emotional attachment. I’m Mr. Monotonous when it comes to eating, which kind of works well because going to restaurant feels like magic. Ha ha, I’m picturing love trying to mosh with Lana Del Rey fans and them looking very sad about that, which is a nice picture. Sorry to keep giving love such predictable gigs, but love making some rich woman Zac and I have to schmooze tonight to give us money for our film, which she’s about 90% for sure never going to do, give us money, G. ** CAUTIVOS, Hi. I mostly get them through highly targeted google searches. My French is way too terrible to read anything other than maybe the labels on jars in French. I think I can say that none of my novels have footnotes placed there by me, but, hm, maybe I’ll try that. And finally, on my end too, a big hug to you. ** Misanthrope, It was pleasantly doable. There’s a time to read and a time to … die? That didn’t pan out. Enjoy the grand but hopefully not grandiose weekend. ** Steve Erickson, Hi. There’s one house we’ve visited a few times and like and would be okay with using despite a few problems, but we’re going to see if there are other, possibly better options before we commit. Yes, we’ve had someone helping with the casting from the beginning, and she’s great. Everyone, Steve has reviewed Alice Diop’s SAINT OMER @ Artfuse aka here. ** Loser, Howdy! They instil the very same inclination me. High five. Yeah, it must be Wiley Wiggins that gives ‘Boys’ a cult following on TikTok because that film is such sentimental glop. Poor Lukas, although I bet he at least has more related things on TikTok than David Arquette, or I sure hope so. My friend the artist Richard Hawkins used some screengrabs of Wiley Wiggins, I think from ‘Dazed and Confused’, in a few of his artworks some years ago, and Wiggins totally flipped out and accused Richard of sexualising him and threatened to sue him, and I don’t know whatever became of that. Thank you for the youtube comp. I’ll go check it out as soon as I’m out of the p.s. And if you don’t mind emailing me those edits, that’d be awesome. Thank you so much! Everything good with you? ** _Black_Acrylic, I tried moshing, like, three times in the early punk days, and it never ended well, so I backed off. ** Bill, I’d hate to think I made you sad, Bill. Welcome home! And your brain seems like it’s working pretty okay. Yeah, I go to LA on Sunday, and then first thing Monday morning I have to go out location scouting in the desert which I’m told is more of a swamp at the moment. Prayers against excess turbulence. ** shadeoutMapes:v, Introductions are weird, yeah. You kind of have to turn off your dislike of standard fare interaction tropes for a second. Not a bad dream. I’d bribe my unpleasant imagination to have had it. I miss libraries. I can’t even remember the last time I was inside one. Weird. So, yeah, I feel your joy. That makes sense to me: that transposition. And the numbers becoming other than their simple selves. I do totally get what you mean, and I think my mind does that as well about other things pretty regularly, although I don’t pay attention to when that’s happening anymore. Seems like a really good thing. Wow, congrats on whatever you found out! Whatever makes you excited for the future is major. Great! Say what it is if ever want to say what it is. I hope your day continues your yesterday’s happiness. ** Nick., Hi, Nick.! Yeah, he was kind of saintly, my friend. I hope he turned out okay. I haven’t seen him since. Right, you get it, the dissociated but functional thing. So weird, isn’t it? I wish I could consciously make that happen whenever I wanted. I’m glad you’re realised now though. Ha ha, I think someone once told me your favorite joke. Works like a charm. My day was just full of the usual film-related stuff, I think, plus getting ready for the trip to LA. It’s a blur of blah in retrospect. But not bad blah. Three things? Wow, that’s a tough question. But since I don’t have a week to think about it, um, definitely a laptop with a magically incredible wifi connection, probably my friend Zac because we always seem to keep each other entertained (or maybe a clone of him since I wouldn’t want to put him through that), and a Mexican food restaurant, specifically this take-out Mexican place in LA called Poquito Mas. Okay, your turn: desert island, you, and three whats? Day of utter excellence to you! ** Okay. I think some of you know I have this somewhat inexplicable fondness/fetish for disaster films, and I indulged that fetish some years ago and made the post up there, which I am restoring today for reasons of mood, I guess. Get into it? See you tomorrow.

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