DC's

The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Holly Fisher’s Day

 

‘Holly Fisher has been active since the mid-sixties as an independent filmmaker, teacher, and editor of documentaries, including the 1989 Academy Award Nominee Who Killed Vincent Chin? Her personal works (director, camera, editor) have been screened in museums and film festivals worldwide, including The Museum of Modern Art, two Whitney Museum Biennials, and Centre Pompidou. Her first documentary Watermen, co-made with filmmaker Romas V Slezas in 1968, recently resurfaced to great acclaim when recently screened on Maryland Public TV and at The Environmental Film Festival in Washington, DC. Fisher’s first solo feature Bullets for Breakfast, made via JK optical printing of layers of S8:16mm, received “Best Experimental Film” at the Ann Arbor Film Festival, 1992. Two of her works have had world-premiers at The Berlin International Film Festival, including Bullets for Breakfast and her first poetic documentary concerning Burma, Kalama Sutta: Seeing is Believing, in 2001.

‘With an on-going interest in human rights, perception, and media, Fisher followed with a second Burma project –– Deafening Silence (118 minutes, 2012), in which she travels to The Goldenland’s eastern frontier, on foot and under-cover with guerrilla soldiers, to document life in a village of internally displaced ethnic Karen people. A Question of Sunlight, links 9/11 with the holocaust via ‘the telling of memories’ by NYC artist José Urbach, who was witness to both.

‘Holly Fisher was invited by the influential contemporary photographer Peter Lindbergh to collaborate on the film Everywhere at Once (final cut 2010). The film incorporates Lindbergh’s photographs with clips from Tony Richardson’s film Mademoiselle (1966), starring Jeanne Moreau. It premiered in the Avant-première program at the Cannes Film Festival in 2007.

‘Currently Fisher is expanding into video installation and large-format digital prints, in preparation for her first gallery exhibition, fall 2014. Rejecting strategies of agit-prop, Fisher’s films are open-ended essays, both long-form and short, in which she fuses linear narrative with non-linear and increasingly layered and cyclic structures, as a way to position the viewer at the subject/center of the work as it unfolds –– in pursuit of presence, or ’empowerment,’ for want of a better word.’ — Folkstreams

 

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Stills















































 

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Further

Holly Fisher Website
Holly Fisher @ instagram
Holly Fisher @ IMDb
Holly Fisher @ Filmmakers Cooperative
Holly Fisher @ Experimental Cinema
Holly Fisher @ RE:VOIR
Deafening Silence with Holly Fisher
Thickening the Plot : ‘Bullets for Breakfast’
Fisher’s Rushlight and Gaine’s #3, Great Neck and Edge
Holly Fisher: Kalama Sutta: Seeing is believing
Holly Fisher @ MUBI
Essays and reviews of Holly Fisher’s films

 

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Extras


Holly Fisher, Everywhere At Once , Tribeca Film Festival


Conversation w/ Holly Fisher, Maung Zarni, Pip Chodorov

 

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Interview

 

On March 23rd independent filmmaker Holly Fisher visited UnionDocs to show Deafening Silence, her poetic documentary about life under Burma’s brutal military dictatorship. Following the screening, she spoke with filmmaker John Gianvito (Profit Motive and the Whispering Wind (2006) and Far from Vietnam (2012)) about the complexity of the present situation in Burma.

Holly Fisher: Burmese leaders had launched a big campaign for tourism and I understood that if I was to go to there, any image that I brought back was essentially for the junta if I didn’t work behind my own image. They had sanitized all the tourist spots and were controlling where you could and couldn’t go.

I didn’t have any tour guide. My idea was just to go and come back with a bed of images that I would then work through. I spent five years trying to understand what was going on.

During the last trip, in 2003, I took two cameras and trained one of the Karen guys who came and hiked with us.

I was interested in what I saw as a sort of sadomasochistic situation between the junta and the population, which is some kind of diabolical marriage. I wanted to see if I could break it apart and work it towards something more ambiguous, more subtle, less white and black.

John Gianvito: Part of what you have done here is to respect that complexity of the Burmese situation, and it is reflected in the form of the film. It doesn’t seem to provide all the answers. It gives a prismatic way of journeying through some measure of what one sees as an outsider travelling. I heard you got a false ID and pretended to be a tour guide making little movies to develop tourism.

HF: When I got out of college I made a film with a partner that attempted to take over the army corps of engineers who were destroying a wild river in Florida. After making that film I got interested in issues such as: can you change minds with films and how? I got interested in the relationship of image to audience and how to put images together in a way that would make you implicit to the situation, not a consumer of it. I worked with a lot of layerings, very abstract or silent multiple projections.

My first Burma work was made at a period where I was going in and out of my own work, working as an editor for others.

One thing I’ve learned is you can either manipulate the audience to think what you want them to think or you can work to invite them to think. I spent years embarrassed by my own work. I knew what I wasn’t doing, but I didn’t know what I was trying to do. I’m only now beginning to see.

I’m interested in complexity. There is a pleasure in ambiguity, in not knowing. I’ve been finding an organic way of structuring, without a beginning, a middle, or an end. So you could see it as a film about Burma or you can see it as a sort of tapestry… even if I don’t like that word.

JG : I think this film is what I could call a utilitarian film, a film that re-sensitizes us to things we may already know, but where we need constant reminders. This movie is about Burma but not only. When I think about the question of the representation, it makes me think about Harun Farocki’s Inextinguishable Fire (1969), a 20-minute film about the manufacture of napalm made in the late 60s. There was a moving sequence where he talks directly at the camera about the fact that if he actually showed these images, what would happen is that it would hurt our feelings, and you would close your eyes, and eventually you would close your heart. This is not what he want to have happened—“when we show you pictures of napalm victims, you’ll shut your eyes. Then you’ll close them to the memory. And then you’ll close your eyes to the facts.” Then he takes a cigarette and burns his arm.

The testimony you hear in Deafening Silence and the shifting into the most lush, seemingly tranquil [scenery], invites tourists to the landscape underneath what you know. I find it a very potent approach on how to bring this knowledge.

HF: The image of the dead woman I used—that I didn’t use in my first film—makes me want to raise the question of using images like this. I did it by naming the cameraman who shot it: “to Rambo’s sister.”

I was pretty sure you would start to wonder what happened to her, when you saw that title, so you would weave that into the rest of the film. You are waiting for what’s going to happen. I wanted to conflate her with Aung San Suu Kyi. I wanted to set up a kind of complex hovering where these two women aren’t really in the film, but are in your mind. What you think you know about them, what you imagine, what could happen.

JG: When you talk about war, you have to talk about men. I’m referring to Susan Sontag’s book. It is always men who make the war, always men who like to go to war. I recently showed my class a documentary, The Invisible War (2012), about sexual violence in the military, and it lead to a discussion about how legal systems are. It doesn’t direct its anger towards men, but all of these rapes are always by men.

That was going through my head as I was journeying through the film again and thinking about the opening to this innocent young girl. If she sees this film later, what is it going to mean to her?

HF: In many advocacy films, we say the viewer is a consumer, that there is a narrative.

In what I’m doing, there is no story you can give yourself over to. I don’t allow you to identify with some character who is going to lead you through the film. You are more on your own and you have to piece together what it means and doesn’t mean.

JG: When we talk about a form such as this, that doesn’t have the archetypical beginning, middle, and end, you have to find your way. There is something that I say in relationship to my own movies, and I’m curious if you feel similarly. I often quote the filmmakers Jean-Marie Straub and Daniele Huillet: “we make our films so that people can walk out of them.”

For him there is a fascism about traditional, orthodox narrative forms that are all about keeping you in your seats, all about your eyes. He speaks about the desire to create a more democratic open form—take a look, but I’m not going to force you to stay.

HF: I made up the entire project to force me to use video. I learned on film, celluloid, so I designed this project to learn how to use new types of media and the internet. I’m always interested in multiple points of view, and where films are coming from. I’m also intrigued about how the existence of the internet changes how we live on the planet.

JG: What makes it personal is that you are always sensitive to your camera work and how you are exploring the situation, whether it’s at home or elsewhere. You could have set it up on a tripod, you could have downloaded the youtube clips neatly. People who see it quickly must think it’s amateurish, but in fact it is one of the values of how you’ve approached something.

HF: The thing that interests me in all the types of archival videos is how they are shot, how they are framed, and the person who narrates. They make themselves the center of their stories. I like to contrast that with my own funky way of doing things. The film is really made up of many little films.

 

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17 of Holly Fisher’s 33 films

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softshoe for bartok (2021)
‘This project is a film/video re-imaging of my 16mm film s o f t s h o e from 1987, made via optical printer from S8 film imagery shot ten years earlier on an east-west trip across Europe; using home-movies as the original source, this work is a cross/weave, or perhaps more a chance-encounter, with images from rural Romania, traces from the contemporary art exhibit documenta 6, Kassel, Germany, and a ride on the iconic escalator of the Centre Pompidou, Paris. Three decades later and with the advent of multi-track video I revisited this film, using it now as template.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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b e d e v i l e d (aka simoom) (2019)
‘Dragon bones and snakes embracing; skeletons in underwear, flying shoes and bug-eyed aliens are among the characters that comprise the annual NYC Halloween Parade — filmed and transformed into a subjective extra-terrestrial dreamscape. Fragmented, cyclic, and in continual flux, b e d e v i l e d is a collage in motion, grounded within a visible construct of open and ever-shifting frames. From early furtive sketches I’ve reworked my original Hi-8 video into a layered weave of images cut to phase between the imaginary and ‘reality’ — from Day of the Dead spectacle to clocks at play with light bulbs. The haunting music of avant-garde composer Lois V Vierk is performed by cellist Theodore Mook.’ — HK

Watch an excerpt here

 

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thin/ice (2019)
‘“Snow & Reeds” – 1st sketch, edited from a single day of filming with iPhone, Feb 2014. Note child’s wooden bed frame half-submerged in ice, at 4:29 min.

‘Between 2013 and 2016, I filmed around this pond daily whenever possible–with iPhone and/or HD camera, being sure to always include this rotting wood bed frame, regardless of time, light, or weather. Footage is material for a full-scale immersive installation project, for completion in 2019.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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ruffled feathers (2016)
‘Made as a variation of Trio en Rose (S.8 video original material filmed with a consumer camera in Brittany, 2006), Ruffled Feathers is a playful, intricate, and multi-layered dance piece—in which the dancers are seagulls, walking about on the pink granite rocks of the Côte d’Amour. As inTrio en Rose, my focus is on their skinny legs, knobby knees, and wide flat feet, coupled with a cheeky fearlessness.

‘The music piece IO by contemporary composer Lois V Vierk is the same used in Trio en Rose (also excerpted in A Question of Sunlight). Seagulls, layered glissandi, and cross/cut editing between frames interplay once more in counterpoint. But with additional tempo variations, more video layers and a muted palette of shifting colors, Ruffled Feathers has a different and decidedly darker feel even within the ironic formality that characterizes both works.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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a question of sunlight (2015)
‘Recorded in the shadow of the Trade Towers only months after their collapse, A Question of Sunlight links 9/11 with the Holocaust, via “the telling of memories” by visual artist José Urbach, witness to both. José speaks almost magically, from childhood to the present, and anywhere in between. He was a Polish child born into the Holocaust, and as he watched the first plane smash into The World Trade Center from his kitchen window in lower Manhattan, he had a radical flashback to his earliest childhood memories. From a child’s-eye view he recalls former times, other windows … like the bombing of the Polish airport that triggered the start of World War II. (An uncanny irony is that he was in his mother’s belly that day.)

‘Unique to José’s telling is his desire to “actualize” his memories, to make them present and timely. He tells his stories vividly as if they were movies, in a continuous search for insight within the veils of memory, which still haunt him. This unsettling vacuum between past and future is magnified as I lace my personal and found imagery within Urbach’s narrative–curtains flying out Paris windows, “Shock & Awe” on airport TV, rare footage by Joris Ivens from the seminal East German film Die Windrose–for resonance, or “just to lend a breath of air …”’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here
Watch the film VOD here

 

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deafening silence (2012)
Deafening Silence is a fusion of beauty and terror, observation and anger, roving visuals and intimate stories that are funny, contemplative, or horrific–a subjective, layered depiction of Burma under brutal military dictatorship. My first trip was legal, shooting video as a fake tour guide doing research. The next was on foot, under-cover with ethnic Karen guerrillas, to film internal exiles surviving in a free-fire jungle war zone.

‘Colonial archival imagery and clips from YouTube are woven within this tapestry of fragments, often in ironic counterpoint, and always to pierce the chokehold of censorship. This is a living history of a country arrested in time, a hybrid documentary focusing on ethnic genocide but with constant poetic resonance and a rich multiplicity of references to history and popular culture.’ — Hank Heifetz and Holly Fisher

Watch an excerpt here

 

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w/ Peter Lindbergh Everywhere at Once (2010)
‘In Everywhere at Once renowned photographer Peter Lindbergh and experimental filmmaker Holly Fisher collaborate to weave together a tapestry of images, incorporating Lindbergh’s still pictures with clips from the Tony Richardson film Mademoiselle (1966), starring Jeanne Moreau. The photographs are animated through a re-filming process to create a flow of moving images that are intercut with passages from the movie. Iconic actress Jeanne Moreau, using a text by American poet Kimiko Hahn, narrates the diary-like fragments of memories and recollections in the first person. The haunting music by Lois V Vierk accentuates the fleeting quality of these fragments of dreams and memories. As with Fisher’s other experimental feature films, Everywhere at Once exists on the dividing line between fiction and documentary. Rather than offering a linear narrative, threads of the story move forward and are interrupted, bending back upon themselves in space and time, resolving into a series of subjective associations. The film might be read as a biography of Moreau’s own life, as a fictional discourse on the protagonist’s emerging sense of selfhood, or as a humanist meditation about childhood, youth, and old age. Whatever the viewer’s interpretation may be, the film functions most deeply on the level of an intensely subjective rumination on perception. This positions Everywhere at Once squarely in the tradition of such avant-garde French New Wave classics as Hiroshima, Mon Amour (1959), Last Year at Marienbad (1961), and La Jetée (1962).’ — Jon Gartenberg

Watch an excerpt here

 

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kalama sutta: seeing is believing (2002)
‘New York-based experimental filmmaker Holly Fisher, known for a series of conceptually complex and visually elegant films, studies Burma in her latest project, Kalama Sutta, moving beyond picturesque travel images to examine the country’s political upheaval and oppression. … Fisher creates a dense patchwork of information that eschews a single perspective. Tales of torture and political struggle against the military dictatorship contrast with garish Web visuals and shots of the country’s beautiful landscape. Indeed, Fisher structures the film around this dichotomy, playing off the invitation to foreign tourists to visit Burma. Seeing is Believing is the hypocritical entreaty, as assertion deftly undermined by Fisher’s collection of personal testimony from exiled activists. The film’s title comes from the Buddhist Charter on Free Inquiry, which says we should doubt appearances. Fisher does just that with her poetic essay, refuting the propaganda of a government bent on attracting tourists while brutalizing its people.’ — Holly Willis, LA Weekly

Watch an excerpt here

 

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bullets for breakfast (1992)
‘Images from My Darling Clementine form the basis for thought-provoking interpretation in Fisher’s Bullets for Breakfast. Combining stunning optical printing with a dense weaving of poetry, storytelling, and visual narrative, Fisher’s film explores the violent underside of another frontier—gender relations. Juxtaposing a pulp-western writer with a feminist poet, or women working at a herring smokehouse with those depicted in paintings by European Masters, Fisher reorders stories and images like musical motifs. A captivating hybrid of experimental and documentary technique, Bullets for Breakfast mines the depths of subjectivity, blurring the lines between myth and reality, fact and fiction.’ — Jon Stout

Watch an excerpt here

 

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s o f t s h o e (1987)
‘Optical printing links East with West within a mosaic of looped, layered and shifting images filmed originally on Super 8 while on a (train/car/thumb) trip across Europe in 1978. Swinging cow udders, woman sweeping, farm woman walking, nuns chanting, Nude Descending, voices in a bread shop, Dachau and other artworks from Documenta 7, riding the escalator of the Centre Pompidou, etc. are layered in overlapping, shifting, and repetitive frame-clusters pulled from Super 8 footage filmed on a trip that began in Bucharest and ended in Paris. Disparate elements are combined and manipulated to construct a lyrical work about walking, history, and memory.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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rushlight (aka here today gone tomorrow) (1984)
Rushlight (aka Here Today Gone Tomorrow) was made from a single, three minute roll of Super 8 footage shot over one day of stop/start driving through the Maramures folk district of Romania. I reworked this footage via JK Optical Printer using a larger than normal film gate designed (by myself) to allow the re-filming and hence layering of frame clusters as well as single frames.

‘This project explores an intersection between transition and memory (passing time, times past, arrested in time, what lies ahead) through looping, stretching, and layering of images filmed originally while driving through this unique preserve of Romanian culture. A silent, visual sketchbook of sorts, this work explores the repetitive, cyclical structuring of this Super 8 footage developed over several years of working with a JK Printer. The result is an open and meditative work around the subject of “passage.”’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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this is montage (1978)
‘Inspired by a passage from Sergei Eisenstein’s Film Form, this film explores relationships between film and language while playfully challenging the Russian filmmaker’s theory of film montage … and thus lies between a wink and a nod to the master. Also a bit of tongue-in-cheek to myself as aspiring film studies student: had I been a good typist I very likely would never have become a filmmaker.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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chickenstew (1978)
‘Re-enactment of a mellow evening with friends, in which a static camera, synchronous sound, a shiny cook pot, and an old wood stove conspire in a game of hide-and-seek with the viewer—involving film illusion and point-of-view. A single strand of 16mm and/or a watched pot. …’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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from the ladies (1977)
‘Filmed in the multiple-mirrored women’s powder room of the NYC Holiday Inn: A space designed exclusively for me (being a woman), which seemed simultaneously seductive and vulgar, and in which the most visible object was myself looking at myself with Bolex-in-hand. Looking at From the Ladies is an orchestration of tensions from this play between myself as filmmaker subject, object, and woman. Filmmaker at play with the gaze, so to speak.

‘Shooting begins with slow pans in wide sweeping arcs that capture anyone walking through. Gradually the shooting tightens, culminating in a passage of single-frame bursts reflected in the many mirrors. Space is transformed into an abstract swirl of motion and emotion. Tempo is the result of shot duration, as I flirt with real and reflected images, active and passive moments, making seamless shifts between subjectivity and abstraction. The sound track layers random bathroom sounds with looped voices of hotel cleaning women plus intermittent fragments from conversations occurring in the ladies room.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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apple summer (1974)
‘Camping in Down East, Maine with artist friends evolved into a spurt-framed portrait of artist Donn Moulton. Footage of Moulton in Maine, his studio in Cambridge, and installation of his fiberglass apple paintings at Kornblee Gallery, NYC, is intercut with edited-in-camera expressionistic sequences from our camping trip.

‘The project became a playful exploration of my own way of working, via voice-over conversations between Moulton and myself on the subject of art, film, and commitment. The rough-edged, cross-cut, free-wheeling form reflects ways in which my early, highly intuitive notions of art-making differed from Moulton’s. It’s in making this film that I learned to exploit my mistakes and think with my hands.’ — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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subway (1968)
Subway is a subterranean passage that lies somewhere between fiction and diary, with literal and psychological overtones from the late ’60s. Framed within a ride on the Harvard/Ashmont Subway Line at rush hour–as the train fills and then empties, moving further from downtown Boston while I direct my 7-year-old nephew, Ben, to stand and look around, sit, get off, watch himself depart, get back on, and walk away–intercut with various scenes from my on-going (Bolex) film diary; seagulls circling, anti-war street demonstration past Playboy Club in downtown Boston, large dogs leaping into saltwater, crowd on escalator, Ben’s image in surveillance camera, twilight through half-built, backlit Coop City under construction…

‘The impulse for multiple layering, juxtaposition and other interplay of disparate imagery seemed to come naturally, even after having spent some years co-making documentary films. At the same time this film comes closer to a narrative structure than anything I’ve made before or since, with the exception of PSSSHT! — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

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psssht! (1968)
‘The dangers of aerosol sprays to the ozone layer were all over the news in the late ’60s, right up there with fierce anti-Vietnam War sentiment, identity politics, and a burgeoning environmental movement launched by Rachel Carlson’s Silent Spring. Within this context, an advert for a “feminine crotch spray” inspired the making of PSSSHT! — HF

Watch an excerpt here

 

 

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p.s. Hey. ** Jack Skelley, Hey, J. Sweet! Let me … Everyone, Valuable alert from Mr. Jack Skelley. Hence, ‘ A new anthology just published, edited by Blake Butler (author of ‘Molly’) & Ken Bauman. Title is YOU MAY NOW FAIL TO DESTROY ME. it includes new prose by me, plus peeps and perps such as Jim Ruland, Megan Boyle, Logan Berry, Charlene Elsby, Gabriel Hart. Subtitle is AMERICAN WRITERS ON THEIR MOST DANGEROUS BELIEFS, and the whole – as I read thru it – is subversively apt for our times. My piece is DAS NEUROKAPITAL. There’s a link to order PDF or paperback.’ I can’t believe I’ve never been to El Cid even though it’s legendary and I could walk there from my LA pad if I was feeling sprightly. Soon assuming there is a soon. Dennisync Cooperink ** Dominik, Hi!!! Silco is scary looking. But I couldn’t find his younger incarnation. Be careful. I wanted to slice open one of love’s arteries and drink until he was a deflated white balloon, but that’s where he finally drew the line, G. ** _Black_Acrylic, Congrats on getting that under your belt or I guess ears. Maybe I’ll sample it. Pynchon going viral is only a good thing, especially in the midst of the endless bullshit spouting better known as now. ** Malik, Oh, thanks! Everyone, Malik hooks us up with a great seeming lit zine called God’s Cruel Joke that I at least didn’t know about before. And if you hit this link, you’ll go straight to three poems by Malik, which is an obvious big bonus. Great, I look forward to it (seeing you). I was in Baltimore once before, or, wait, twice, to do bookstore readings, but it’s been decades, and I don’t remember the place at all, so it’s going to be an adventure. ** julian, I’ve come across a few unexpected people I know in my escort and/or slave searching, but in those cases I’ve left them there in peace. Huh, well, I only have one email address, so that must be it. I’m pretty sure Chris would let us release the ‘Andre’ version of the song. Maybe as a single. Huh. I guess I would need to ask Charlie/’Andre’. ** Eric C., Hey. Okay, August/September. It might be kind of hot here then, but then Paris has had two mild summers in a row, so maybe that’ll stick. Anyway, Paris is great whenever. I’ll probably be here. Everyone else in Paris tends to leave for the provinces in August, but not me. ** Misanthrope, Is Baltimore notorious for its lack of parking? Dude, if you guys can and want to, sweet, and otherwise we’ll converge in the Apple before hopefully too long. ** Carsten, Howdy. I’m not sure what to expect with the Hof festival. I have no idea who’s around there, and the festival is showing the film without German subtitles, which seems odd. It’s kind of a crapshoot. I can’t sleep on planes even when I’m desperate to sleep. I don’t know why. I just can’t relax sufficiently on planes. So I just drink as much of the horrible plane coffee as I can. I don’t know the people who do BlazeVox, no. I have friends who’ve published with them, and I’ll try to remember what their experiences were like. Very lengthy response times is sadly de rigour, as I’m sure you’re finding out. ** Steve, Daddies are massive amongst that crowd. Interesting that such self-styled sex objects have such a sentimental streak. True, it’s getting cold here, and I’m guessing the mice will be back any minute. Good luck with the bank arrangements. Good to get that done at least, I guess. ** HaRpEr //, I remember when the world was a more fair place and Queer Neo-Nazis were so novel that they could be mindlessly fetishised. Rock does still pony up with fresh, exciting stuff occasionally, it’s true. When I interviewed Steve Malkmus once, I disparaged Oasis, and he said he kind of liked them because they were such lunkheads. I too want to see ‘One Battle After Another’ despite it being 3 or something hours long and so enthusiastically received. Let’s compare notes. ** Nicholas., I liked it. I like rambling and shifty. Shifty’s always good. I’ll milk the rest of them maybe as soon as maybe today if I can get my other shit together. Bravo! I generally have the blog posts set up for about a week or a week and a half in advance, and I do pretty carefully try to arrange them so each day there’s some kind of refreshing effect going on. I co-made a film about a kind of magician, ‘Permanent Green Light’, but that turf is pretty rich, so … Get your sleep. ** Minet, Hi, pal. Oh, wow, very cool about the interview’s effect. I am beholden to you. The 20s are interesting, yeah. Kind of an in-between phase or something. More than the teenage years, I think. When I was 25? Uh, so that would be 1978. I was mostly writing poetry and going to punk gigs very frequently and I had acid reflux for a while and I’d just started doing my Little Caesar Magazine and stuff like that. It was messy and I guess hard too, but I was forging ahead like I always seem to do. You’re going to be just fine, my brilliant friend. No worries. I know of ‘Shenmue’, but I never played it. I do like Wiseman’s films a lot, yes. I think my favorite of his is ‘Monrovia, Indiana’. I’m fine, just in-between trips, trying to wrap stuff up before I head back to the dreaded USA briefly on Friday. I hope all the good is working its magic fully on you. xoxo. ** Stil, Hi! It’s a beautiful way to work, I think, letting performers have their powers. They get excited, and it’s awesome to feel like everyone is revved up and making something they care about and that it’s not just Zac and me. I’ve never watched the ‘Before’ trilogy, which is weird. I really need to do that post-haste. I think I’m getting everything that needs to get done done pre-Baltimore. We’ll see. What are you doing and working on du jour? ** Right. Today you have the chance to investigate the work of the unfairly underknown filmmaker Holly Fisher if you so choose. See you tomorrow.

“Being so dumb that I am constantly panting and laughing to the point of snorting is something I NEED to achieve”

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carrunoverme, 21
What I’m looking for! What I love: CAR RUNOVER!

Meet only in the woods or fields. You should have a car with which you can brutally torture me.

Comments

SuperTall – Sept 27, 2025
He’s a straight Christian lad who used to bully gays and bi people and is being Blackmailed.

Enjoymydick – Sept 20, 2025
Fuck this brainless twink nerd bitch so needs to get his body caved in and dismembered and his gory pieces found in a dumpster.

 

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ClowningAround, 18
I love the idea of being a bumblin’ clown that can’t think for itself. Personality change, mental reconfiguration, identity death are my personal biggest fantasy. Clowns laugh at everything and are a joke to everyone including themselves. I’d love to be a clown gooner who can’t even think about anything else except stroking its dick and shooting. The scenario of someone laughing at me as I stroke myself stupid makes my head spin. Being so dumb that I am constantly panting and laughing to the point of snorting is something I NEED to achieve, and this is a formal invite to anyone who can break my mind, honk my nose as I melt further and deeper into the spiral.

Comments

Biggie_dicky – Sept 14, 2025
18 but old brain in young face.

FFballs – Sept 11, 2025
Once he’s done up as a clown he enjoys the full range of sexual expressions, from kissing and slow fucking with intimacy and connection to bruises and blows to the head.

ClowningAround (Owner) – Sept 8, 2025
I’m 1000% serious about becoming a total loser clown bitch!

 

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AllHoleNoSoul, 19
I’ve been resisting my submissive urges for a long time but they got the best of me… so after resisting a while i downloaded this app…

im an attractive young boy who’s been rlly ashamed of my submissive side and kinks so been wanting to bury them but haven’t been able to.

im extremely weak and fiendish for my own ass, its not even funny… so would love to plan a session where you cater to my asshole, take your time, and really enjoy every inch.

my biggest downfall and weakness that im ashamed of out of my mind is wanting to shit in someone’s mouth… its so disgusting but for some reason the thought of someone taking my shit straight to the mouth just does something to me…

anyhow, if ur a sane and normal person who would be into any of this with me u could hmu.

Comments

Willing – Sept 20, 2025
Lot of good relationships start with shit eating, a man shit in my younger brother’s mouth in high school a few years ago and he fell in love with the guy, quit school and last I heard they’d adopted kids and were doing fine.🤷‍♂️

AllHoleNoSoul – Sept 20, 2025
Unless I pay for it, which gets expensive fast.

Lonelybear – Sept 20, 2025
If I were to put a label on him it might be bi-curious but for the most part he’s a straight boy struggling to find women to eat his shit.


 

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YoungPig2disappear247, 19
I’m scared. Always scared. Use it against me.

I don’t know how far I go. I do know there’s a lot of self-destructive shit I’ve done to please Men. I need more. A lot fucking more.

Beat me. Hurt me. Exploit me. Break me.

I know my place. Put me in it. With no escape.

Please.

Comments

peachpies – Sept 9, 2025
He’s 23, not 19 … punish him for that 🏏

Danielson – Sept 1, 2025
I think the hottest thing ever is when you self destruct and side with your sadist over yourself and aid your destruction.

YoungPig2disappear247 (Owner) – Sept 1, 2025
I’m now owned by a heavy set White sadistic Dom. However, he does not get as extreme with me as he promised even though I urge and beg him to do more. I’m hoping to find some other Doms here that might be willing to go all out on me in a session with no limits and no safe word. This would be while my owner watches and hopefully learns.



 

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than, 22
I want to be a totally toxic whore with hiv aids hep c syphillis herpies, genital warts the lot. I am incredibly self destructive and never intend to take meds. I want my ass so fucked up it becomes the biggest rosebud ever to exist, fuck me up, gangrape me gangfist me. I want a rosebud so big it is out of my body permanently and at least 2ft long. I want to be tatooed pierced and my body abused and mutilated 24/7 and fed shit and piss all the time.

Comments

Thelaundryman – Sept 17, 2025
You still un-aliving over there?

DirtyHarry – Sept 9, 2025
damn God gonna take u on a permanent vacay fr

than (Owner) – Sept 7, 2025
Some of you may already know me from when I was the slave of MasterCrush in Berlin.



 

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whateveryouwantdad, 22
I want to serve as many cocks as possible from now until 7:30 tomorrow morning.
That’s why… I am dosing myself with G, tina, ecstasy, ketamine, and heroin and throwing myself to the wolves. 🥴

Bochumer Str. 259
45886 Halle

Each participant pays upon arrival €50. IF 5 men use me at once (minimum number of participants at the same time), everyone gets their money back, like happy hour, or like free spins. If more than 5, you win the jackpot.

Comments

Himawari Sarada – Sept 6, 2025
This is the truth of life ❤️

voices – Sept 6, 2025
me me too please!!!! please!!

Pedoluvr – Sept 6, 2025
Ugh omg yes

JackPackage – Sept 6, 2025
Is anyone taking a camera I really wanna see him die.

SickBoy – Sept 6, 2025
Fuck I love when girly boys get raped! I wouldn’t be able to resist beating the fucking bitch to death though.



 

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PetRaven, 19
I’m a 19 year old Goth boy! I haven’t had much experience with casual sex. I’ve only ever had sex with my father except for one time.

He was a leather sadist guy. He told me he was going to kill me but ultimately he didn’t. Thank God, right?

Other than my father I’m not currently in a relationship. There is a guy I love a lot and want to commit myself to, but I don’t think he feels the same so why should I save myself for him.

Comments

JWC1202 – Sept 17, 2025
I know Raven’s Dad. He is a monster of dick-hardening proportions. There is no compassion or tenderness in him, for his son or anyone else. Even I’m shocked by his inhumanity. It is such a great detail that he went to prison trying to steal money to abort Raven, then, eighteen years later, set about systematically destroying his loser of a son. Not that it takes much: Raven is pathetic, a waste, just waiting to be controlled and manipulated and reprogrammed. The faggot snivels his way through life, making his abuse, from gang rape to castration, seem inevitable. One just knows that if Raven’s body is finally discovered beside a backalley dumpster, his Dad will shoot a contented load over his son’s long-delayed abortion. I long for that kind of happy ending.

Greatman – Sept 16, 2025
A good buddy and all around crafty bastard of mine created The Butt Bong Hookah™ A simple device cobbled from things found around his house: a birdbath water pump, a glass bong/pipe, vinyl tubing and a drilled out butt plug. Although it burns a lot of product, it makes a lot of smoke, like a butthole is getting fucked by a disco fog machine amount of smoke. Recommended for any Pig looking to turn Raven’s brain into a smoked ham 😈🔥

arrrr – Sept 12, 2025
Ideally you’ll want to hypnotise him and make him believe whatever changes you make are his totally normal reality.



 

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FarmBoy, 23
Hello everyone; I am a real-life farmer or rather the son of a farmer, who loves wearing coveralls, wellies and waterproofs and being outdoors and working on the farm in all weathers, from thunderstorms, heavy rain and wind. Passionate about farming, cows and tractors.

Yes, I am the type of person to say “look cows” or “look a tractor” if we are out and about. Bubbly and excitable nature and always try to be happy and upbeat. Love being grabbed and a white napkin cloth full of poppers held over my face. Poppers on white napkin cloth make me go absolutely crazy.

Never been on a site like this before, it is a new experience for me. I have always assumed there is a deep submissive side to me. Come to Montana and find out?

Comments

Candycorn – Sept 10, 2025
XXL Arabs impress him.

BADASSDAD – Sept 3, 2025
Fart muffler


 

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KillBilly, 24
No one lets men go as hard as I do.

Comments

SuitedCityExec – Sept 13, 2025
I participated in a mass gangbang of this guy last week. He was hooded but I recognise the tattoo.

Freakazoid – Sept 8, 2025
I wanted to slice open one of his arteries and drink until he was a deflated white balloon, but that’s where he finally drew the line.

KillBilly (Owner) – Sept 3, 2025
I want someone to fuck my throat until I puke heavily or puke in my mouth or both.


 

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ThisGuyBehaves, 19
I am so ready to give up all of life’s complications and just be a gay trailer trash pig that lives to parTy and just smoke and fuck life away. Anyone near Richmond VA?

Comments

Bobby – Sept 14, 2025
I hate Nazis to the  depths of my soul and hooked up with this little fascist and proceeded accordingly but he’s so perfect that as sweat fell from his white body on to the floor I kneeled down and licked it up, it just seemed the right thing to do.

MrNasty12 – Sept 11, 2025
Would love you to becum my trailer trash pig!!! Especially since I love trailer trash boys so much anyway. I’m in eastern TN and surrounded by them!!! And, so far, it’s been REALLY easy to get in their butts! Would move to Richmond in a heartbeat. Have been there a couple times recently and met a pre-legal young white trailer trashy looking boy at Hardywood Park Craft Brewery West at a recent festival. I fucked him nasty crazy squalid in an upstairs restroom overlooking the fermenters. I have a photo but this site won’t let me post it because the file is too large and I’ve made the file as small as I possibly can.

ThisGuyBehaves (Owner) – Sept 8, 2025
Please god have a gigantic dick it’s not much to ask really is it?


 

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RetiredTwink, 18
I’m Tuffy, and I’m a horrific pervert.
Listing all the things I’m into isn’t possible bc there’s so many infinite ways.
I just fucking adore giving up my power to someone and feeling them get drunk off it.
I long to be a 24/7/365 TPE live in slave, no rights, branded, a fucktoy, a punching bag, red raw used and beaten, a urinal, pathetic, stupid and small, completely incontinent.
My ideal man looks like Tom Selleck.
I have some gear but a lots been lost to time. Bring everything you got.
Move me in and abuse the fuck out of me pleeeeeeease 🥹

Comments

stevenhss – Sept 15, 2025
I’m in the midst of therapy dealing with prolonged sexual abuse I experienced as a child. Intimacy confuses me. In sessions where I’m abusing boys I often wonder whether I’m reinforcing the abuse or working through it. Not with Tuffy. He let me abuse him so unremittingly my brain went bye bye.

IwantJames – Sept 11, 2025
Before I fucked my cum fucked as deep into his guts as I could get it, I slapped his face, punched him in the head. Never knocked him out but he was dazed af.

Hereforgoodtimes – Sept 9, 2025
I whipped him with different leather whips as hard as I wanted to. Then my ladyboy wife fucked him.

NotFalse – Sept 4, 2025
Make him lay on the bed with my head over the side, wrap your hands around his throat and face-fuck him while “kill” strangling him. Mash your crotch against his face and keep your hard cock in his throat for ages. Just be ready for the cum to fly, because this position makes him shoot so hard he painted the ceiling.


 

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Animal4Sale, 23
Dad selling his curly haired twink son to the highest bidder. Slim, mildly gym enhanced shaved bod, 8” cock, gorgeous ass, cheerful, more bottom but can top awkwardly, learning disabilities, not very mentally with it. Good for breeding, using as meat or reselling. Cannot deliver but can arrange collection of the animal.

Comments

BigD2727 – Sept 12, 2025
Done a few things with this lad and dad along the way this lifetime. Slept with him. Slept with his dad. Slept with him and his dad. Slept with him with 2 other men. Slept with him with 2 women and another man. Slept with him and another lad. Fucked him in a sling a few times. Nice lad. But his dad wants 100k for him and that’s way too much.

kinkyhairyguy – Sept 6, 2025
he’s immature and irresponsible and has a terrible temper.



 

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buttsweaty, 21
Shawn –
Must be into 🥚 🥚 ✂️
Must be into beatings
Chems are provided💉💉❄️❄️❄️
Thank you

Comments

The_Prickliest – Sept 23, 2025
Attention.. slut is approved.

buttsweaty (Owner) – Sept 18, 2025
Have a bf but we will not be together anymore 🥲

 

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whenugonnacum, 18
looking for someone to send pics of my ass to on snap or insta

Comments

whenugonnacum (Owner) – Sept 17, 2025
i hate my life 😎

Bonty – Sept 17, 2025
He is UNd3r A-g3d

TarzanBoy – Sept 14, 2025
It’s not that I craved seeing this boy’s butt but when it happened my dick stiffened and I felt at peace.

whenugonnacum (Owner) – Sept 11, 2025
also looking for a job or situation where i can earn a large income. i’m good with back door deals or any type of situation. or if anyone wants to use my ass to start a business

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** jay, Hey. Thanks. Yeah, Halloween is a biggie in my head and life too when possible. Haha, your bf is such a gent. How did dinner go, and what made it elaborate? ** _Black_Acrylic, Relatively speaking, yes. ** Bill Hsu, I’m an idiot who gorges on deep dish and then am chastised by my stomach until further notice. So lucky you got to see the Fujiko piece. Zac and I have been mourning our inability. You probably know we started making a documentary about her work, filmed a lot of her pieces, but I think we’ll probably just donate the footage to her. ** Gabriel Hart, My pleasure entirely. ‘House of Psychotic Women’: I’ll definitely hunt that. No, very tragically I’m stuck here this Halloween because of a couple of film festivals in Europe that I need to attend for screenings. But it’s painful. What’re your Halloween-adjacent plans? If you want to send it to LA, I can get it in December when I’m there next. Otherwise, over here. I can you either address by email, I guess. Thanks! ** Stil, Hi, man. Oh, my anarchism kind of informs everything I do, and, with the film, I guess it plays out in how collaboratively Zac and I tend to work, especially with the cast who have a lot of power and responsibility to fill out their characters. And I guess how non-judgemental our films are probably is a result too. With the crew, they have their assignments, but I hope at least that their input is highly respected. Thanks a lot for the link to that film. Expectedly, I just eat that kind of stuff up. And I will as soon as I get out of here. I think Toronto tends to have a decent haunted house or two around Halloween unless I’m misremembering. ** Steeqhen, Hey there! The twins are very cool and actually affordable. Your dream reinforces my big regret that I don’t remember mine, although I’m pretty sure mine as comparatively colorless. That sounds like a plan or series of plans: family lodging -> London ensconcement. Luck galore. ** Jack Skelley, Ju-ju-B. Thanks, yeah, things went good. And I guess it was nice or at least interesting to feel the cray all around me. Biggest up! ** Carsten, Hey. I always survive flights by first reading magazines (usually The Wire) and then watching generally shitty blockbuster films one after another. With a patch on. It’s as doable as it’s going to get that way. We’re going to Hof for the screenings, yes. The film is submitted to two festivals in Spain, so we’ll just see if either of them wants it. Thanks, the jetlag is being fairly cooperative, and I’m just ‘praying’ that it dies out before the next jetlag stint starts on Friday. ** Dominik, Hi!!! Yep, it’s Halloween officially now. The new SCAB didn’t feel slim at all. Its richness made whatever length it was superfluous. I’ve heard of ‘Arcane’, but of course I haven’t seen it. I’ll go look for screengrabs and see if I can spy your two addictive characters. Love has good animatronic tastes, of course. It’s tough to choose because I like them all, but maybe the Haunted Coatrack and the hearse and the stupid bear one and of course the zombie boy is hard not to love. Love’s so perfect that as sweat fell from his white body on to the floor I kneeled down and licked it up, it just seemed the right thing to do, G. ** julian, Hi, j. Totally. I would love to have the Hallway 2 Hell for the mechanisms but I think I’d redecorate it. Oh, I guess DM me on Instagram. That’s probably easiest, yeah. Is my email on the CUFF program? Weird. If it is, it’s probably mine, yes. Happy that you like Chris’s Andre song. I get it stuck in my head a lot. Part of the arrangement with Puce Mary to get her to do the score given our minimal financial resources was that she retains the rights to all of her music, so she would have to release it, I guess. Maybe she will? ** Corey, Hi, Corey. It says that paying for hotels in US for a week costs more than an international flight, or at least the lowish cost one we had to spring for. All I know about Abracadabra Rabbit is that it’s made by the company Scarefactory, who made a number of the best props in that post. You’re coming to the screening? Wow, wild. And cool. We’re figuring out our schedule right now, but ideally a coffee would be good. Let me see what the festival is asking of us pre-screening. I may have to give Mr. Trash Wheel a visit. Huh. Thanks! ** Misanthrope, Hi, G. Zac and I will be there, yes. Otherwise, the film will play in NYC, I’m just not sure when yet. So if it’s a hassle, it’s not curtains. ** Hugo, Howdy! Happy to spookify you and, well everyone. I’ve liked some of PTA’s films. I haven’t seen the new one. I think ‘Punch Drunk Love’ is my favorite thus far. The in-flight movies … let me see if I can remember. They don’t tend to stick. I saw ‘Sinners’, which wasn’t bad. I saw that last ‘Shazam’ movie, which wasn’t good whatsoever. Same for ‘Thunderbolts’ and ‘Captain America: Brave New World’. I forget the rest. Time passers, that’s all, basically. ** Steve, Hi, thanks. Yeah, I guess we either weren’t queer enough or experimental enough for MIX or something. No, I have no resources or storage space for those props, otherwise I would snap them up. Congrats on the lack of cockroaches. I think that’s happened in my place with mice. There used to be lots, but I think word might’ve gotten passed along that my apartment traps and exiles them. ** HaRpEr //, The coatrack is really nice, yeah. Almost subtle. Rejections just kind of define the turf, I think. I was eyeing the new Geese album. Okay, I’ll spring for it. Thank you! ** Darby🦇🦇, Hey, hey. And now you’ve followed me. We’re hooked. Obvious luck galore on the Halloween store. Whoever isn’t impressed by your new locs isn’t worth the trouble. Those vintage cameras are so exciting, or I guess I mean their imagined creations, although the cameras themselves are no doubt beauties. I played ‘The Dark Eye’! I might even still have it in dusty storage somewhere. ** Uday, Well, I’m at your disposal at least for a few days. Oh, for the wealth to buy those props. Capitalism sucks, although I guess the props wouldn’t exist as buyable objects if capitalism collapsed. I’ve been good, just busy with the usual. No, the film won’t play in NYC in December. I am participating in a reading there in December, but that’s it. Your professor knew Nina Simone, whoa! What a Halloween-appropriate thing for your friend to have done to you. When’s your first film club meeting, and what are you screening? ** Malik, Hi, Malik! Wow, you’re coming to the Baltimore screening! How great! For sure say hi, etc. It’ll be so cool to get to meet you. (I’ll be jet lagged, but I’ll perk up.) I know, if that hearse pop wasn’t 24k, my finger would be so on its trigger. Congrats on the publications! I’ll go find God’s Cruel Joke if it’s the last thing I do. Awesome! ** Eric C., Hi, Eric. Chicago is cool. I wish the ‘L’ didn’t move so slowly. That’s my only complaint. My only idea of Fargo is from the film, sadly. You have a film fest. Huh, maybe I’ll submit ‘RT’. You never know. Thank you for reading my things. And, yeah, let’s definitely hang when you’re over here. Do you know when? ** Nicholas., Hey. It is interesting to wake up in the morning and not have the blog there waiting for me to realise it, yes. But I do miss it too. And I don’t stop making posts whenever downtime is around even in other places. I’m relentless. You’re vlogging, nice! I’ll go catch up when, you know, this place is in its temporary resting spot shortly. I’m definitely going to start with ‘I was a PreTeen Pyschopath🤪🤠😅✅’, no surprise. Everyone, the lustrous Nicholas. has started vlogging under the moniker White Hot Room, and there’s just no way that’ thats not going to be awfully interesting, so please go join the array here. Sweet! As a little kid? I wanted to be a magician and then an actor until I figured out that I was just a writer and nothing more glamorous than that. ** ellie, Nice. Henry Flynt and in a location where you could smoke! Don’t stop the fun. ** Okay. I know you had to deal with the escorts only two posts ago, and now you’re faced with the slaves without the usual break in-between to take a breather, but time marches at its own pace, and the month’s over, and that’s how it goes. See you tomorrow.

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