Canned Bread Vending Machine (Japan)
Crack Pipe Vending Machine (Canada)
Cotton Candy Vending Machine (Japan)
Baked Pecan Pie Vending Machine (Texas)
Mashed Potatoes Vending Machine (Singapore)
Lit Cigarette Vending Machine (US)
Live Crab Vending Machine (China)
Hand Folded Origami Vending Machine (Japan)
Rhinoceros Beetle Vending Machine (Japan)
Stray Dog and Cat Feeder Vending Machine (Turkey)
Swap-o-Matic Vending Machine* (New York)
* put something in, it gives you something else
Capsule Vending Machine* (Japan)
* dispenses the ID photo of a random person
Spray-On Suntan Vending Machine (US)
Transparent Umbrella Vending Machine (Japan)
Gold Vending Machine (Dubai)
Lobster Vending Machine* (Las Vegas)
* if you caught a lobster, a restaurant would cook it for you
Manned Vending Machine* (Japan)
* Put some money into this machine and a real person will hand you some candy.
Random Book Dispenser Vending Machine (UK)
Skittles Vending Machine (US)
Oktoberfest Vending Machine (Germany)
Clam Vending Machine (Japan)
Perfume Dispensing Vending Machine (US)
Contactless Car Vending Machine (UK)
Love Vending Machine* (Japan)
* The message on the can’s exterior says “I am advisor Ishikawa. There is a 27-year-old woman who wants to get married. Won’t you meet with her? I will advise you.”
Short Stories Dispensing Vending Machine (France)
Coal Dispenser Vending Machine (UK)
Flying Fish Broth Vending Machine (Japan)
Cake Vending Machine (New Jersey)
Baguette Vending Machine (France)
Cooked Bacon Vending Machine (Ohio)
INFAS Magazine Feast Vending Machine (Japan)
Readers Digest Vending Machine (US)
Cat Hat Vending Machine (Japan)
Free Coke If You Hug It Vending Machine (Vermont)
Soccer Ball Vending Machine (South Africa)
Rifle Vending Machine (Japan)
Tutti Frutti Gum Vending Machine (US)
Egg Vending Machine (Ireland)
Edible Insect Vending Machine (Japan)
Rice Polishing Vending Machine (Japan)
Cemetery Candle and Grave Lantern Vending Machine (Russia)
Potato Dispenser Vending Machine (Czech Republic)
Bee Larvae Vending Machine* (Japan)
* Bee babies are harvested from their nests, then cooked in a combination of sugar and soy sauce.
Metawriter Vending Machine* (US)
* Customers would insert their ROM cartridges into the machine’s slot, select the desired videogame, and the system would copy it to the cartridge after payment.
Lightbulb Vending Machine (US)
Porn Vending Machine (Hong Kong)
Toilet Paper Vending Machine (Japan)
False Eyelashes Vending Machine (UK)
Self-Driving Mobile KFC Vending Machine (China)
Tateishi Hand Delivered Burger Vending Machine (Japan)
Water Organized by Temperature Vending Machine (Canada)
Ice Cold Whiskey Vending Machine (US)
Putin T-shirt Vending Machine (Russia)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich Vending Machine (Malaysia)
Live Puppies Vending Machine (Japan)
Walking Robot Vending Machine (Japan)
*
p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi!!! If you try Kim Ki-duk’s films, ‘Moebius’ might be a good place to start. Love has a big heart, and decent legs too apparently. Thank you/love for the lángos. My mouth is moist. Love giving you a handful of euro coins and plunking you down in front of the vending machine of your choice, and now all you have to do is choose, G. ** Bill, Ah, you remember, and, yes, this blog is getting elderly in blog human-equivalent years. I recommend ‘Moebius’ if you haven’t seen it. I haven’t seen ‘Arirang’ either. Just that video of him singing the song. I couldn’t find any clips from ‘Breath’, so it got left by the wayside. I’m glad I’m not alone in not having ‘Flunker’. Maybe I’ll even get mine first. Wow. Thanks about the film. I hope so too. I’m fighting off deep despair. xo. ** James Bennett, Hi, James! It was so great to meet you and get to hang out! Oh, right, Station, I always forget about that place. It’s very popular among my dancing friends. Amen Dunes just played here? I’m so out of it. Had no idea. Nice for you. Thanks about the film stuff. It’s bewildering, it really is. I’ve never been to Café Oto, but going there is one of my big dreams and top-of-the-list re: my next London sojourn. It seems completely amazing. I didn’t know they have a bookshop. Yeah, let’s go together when I’m next there. That would be awesome. Good luck with the election today, although the outcome sounds pretty cemented already. Are you writing? Take care, and, yeah, I hope to get to see you again out in the real world soon. And here sooner, obviously. xo, Dennis. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. Sure, starting with his earlier stuff is probably the best idea. From what I read, the Tories will get pretty much wiped off the map today. Boy, that would be a nice start, at least. ** Lucas, Hi, Lucas! I’m happy you got all of that shut-eye in. I’m sure your body knows best. Sorry about the shit weather. It’s still weirdly lovely and spring-like here. It’s almost kind of spooky. It would be fun, for sure. I just saw that Jamie was interviewed @ The Quietus, and I’m going to read it. Maybe that’s the interview you mean? I will, I swear, recommend something that seems very ‘you’ any minute now. I just need to concentrate. My brain is a bit messy with the film shit. I really like the collage! It doesn’t seem imperfect at all. I love all of it. The quote is wild and funny. The boy section near the bottom is beautiful. I like the stripe on the right. You totally scored. You’re on fire, I swear. I hope your weather wakes up or goes to sleep or whatever the best option is today. How was it, it being this 24 hour section of your life? ** Stan, Greetings, Stan. That’s a quandary you’re in, for sure. Other than suggesting perhaps that you could become famous and consequently rich as the world’s only typing sheep, I’m not sure what else I can do. Wow, err, … good luck. Baaah! ** Dr Berkstresser, Hi, Dr. Your name does not inspire a lot of confidence, but I know that’s not your fault, so … respect? Well, I’m happy everything’s sorted then. Have you ever seen the old film ‘O Lucky Man’? Maybe you shouldn’t. ** Nick Toti, Hi, Nick. Got your email and wrote back to you. Thank you so much! And, really, big congratulations! ** Harper, Hi. Yeah, there was a period when my dad wanted to be a big wig in the government, and he kind of was. He was an advisor to three Presidents. On agricultural issues. Curious fella. Yeah, it’s true, Disneyland is virtually a country. Well, sub-country. I was ‘busted’ at Disneyland for being very stoned when I was a teen, and I was ‘arrested’ by the Disneyland police and everything, but they told me if I never came back, they’d let me go. So I said yes, and then, of course, I went there thousand more times. Yeah, the memory retrieval for your work seems worth it. I think I always just watched TV all the time. Which was boring too, but at least the boredom had illustrations. Whew, or hopefully whew, about the test results. Amazing your grandfather is still earthbound with that habit. Maybe that means you have excellent genes in your heritage. ** Darb🐸, Hi, My week has been okay, maybe, yeah. Nice name: Vibe Pontiac. I didn’t know Pontiac still existed. Wow. My friend/theater collaborator Gisele is obsessed with Bellmer. I think he’s her biggest influence. She owns one of his doll drawings. You mean sites that announce upcoming poetry books? Hm, I’d have to think. But I can. Thank you, thank you. Maybe you like vending machines too? xo. ** Okay. Bunch of vending machines for you to consider today. They turn out to be quite handy, versatile things, don’t they? See you tomorrow.
Now available in North America 
*
Hi!!
Jesus, live animal vending machines?! What the fuck is wrong with people?! I’d so, so want to know whether some of these are/used to be actually used by anyone. The “love vending machine”? Or the random ID one? (Although the latter might come in handy in shady situations, haha.) Also, the manned vending machine kind of… beats the purpose of a vending machine, no? Very creepy.
I’d definitely like to get more familiar with Kim Ki-duk’s films; I’ll start with “Moebius” then! Thank you for the tip!
It’s a very, very hard choice, but I think I’ll have to go with the cat hat vending machine. Although the Swap-o-Matic is very tempting, too. You?
Love setting up a Camel Blue vending machine right next to the main entrance of your apartment building, Od.
Wow, really interesting stuff. There’s something about vending machines with perishable food in them that slightly reminds me of those South American spiders that eat hummingbirds – I think it’s something about an automated creature/machine handling something intelligent/made by intelligence.
Went to go see the new Lanthimos film with a friend yesterday – I’m not sure if you like his stuff, but the second part of the film kind of reminded me of your work. It’s mostly about a person physically carving themself down to become more appealing to a boyfriend.
Anyway. If I had to pick one of these as a favourite, it’d probably be that love message one. I wonder if that strategy worked out well for her?
A love vending machine, wow!
A friend came across a salmon vending machine in Singapore. Can’t say that got me excited.
I did enjoy Moebius. I think I’ve seen a couple after it that I didn’t like as much. I read somewhere that Kim’s later style in general is somewhat different.
Bill
A Perfume Dispensing Vending Machine is a cute idea. My mum has requested some perfume for her upcoming birthday, and she was previously bought Mark Jacobs – Daisy. Their advert for it is soundtracked by Suicide – Cheree which is very cool but also a bit incongruous. Would like to think that Martin Rev is getting a well-deserved bumper payday for that.
hi dennis!
yeah, i meant the quietus interview with jamie. I haven’t read it in its entirely actually, I just saw some snippets. idk if i told you but I ended up listening to the new single and watching the video after we hung out last weekend hahaha. it’s a really good song, I think. not a huge fan of the mv but don’t think it’s horrible or anything either. I’m glad you liked the collage! I may be on fire in a bit of a too literal way since I caught a fever last night and I’ve been feeling super sick since, like with the flu or something. this always happens after i travel so i should have seen it coming. anyway I started another little collage, worked on some poems that i showed to my friends and downloaded this zine making thing on my laptop to mix those two things together. that feels promising. how are you doing?
oh, also, random question: what’s your fav bataille?
In my neighborhood in Tokyo, Meguro, there is a Meat vending machine near the butcher stall. And it’s open 24 hours. I think the meat is all beef, but not sure. For one, I would not eat beef from this machine; then again, I don’t eat meat.
So many wicked ideas can spawn from the existence of these vending machines. The rifles and cemetery candle machines almost feel parodic, but the gold one just confirms that Dubai is like this weird experiment on how wide the class gap is.
Speaking of which, my poem in Expat dropped today!
https://expatpress.com/ghosts-of-the-mcmansion-malik-berry/
The Japanese sure do love their quirky vending machines. At the Barnes & Noble I work at, we actually sell the Cat Hat Vending Machine ones, though in small mystery boxes.
The main reason I dropped in today, Dennis, is to tell you that I finished reading FLUNKER last night and I really enjoyed it. I spread it out over 2 nights, where I read 3 stories one night and the other 3 last night. Some random thoughts: the narrator of “Face Eraser” is alright in my book because he likes cats. “Someone tough who’s into Moz but that’s an oxymoron.” Obviously Gay-bree-el never met our Misa! “From Here On” I thought was kind of pleasant and understated: I’ve seen peacocks break out of captivity as well. “Corpse and Hand Puppet” (great title) was one of my favorites, though I can’t pinpoint exactly why… I just liked it’s vibe, I guess, and it was pretty darkly funny. “Trou Francais” (also darkly funny) seemed eerily familiar to me, like I had read it somewhere before, but I couldn’t quite recall it… then later I found out it was a remixed FRENCH HOLE… well, it has been, what, almost 15 years since I read that one! Any story that mentions asterisms (one of my favorite words) I think is cool. “Gold” was one of my favorites in the collection, I liked the story and characters and almost feel like it could have been a short novel in its own right, but I suppose it’s good to end things with people wanting more. The pretty young things in your books sometimes have tragically short shelf lives, so it was interesting to see what one of them who actually grew up turned out to be like. “Start” was a bit beyond my ken, though it did seem to form a nice bookend with the first story… maybe?
I sometimes listen to music while I read. The first night I listened to “Shri Camel” by Terry Riley and last night I listened to “Avant Hard” by Add N To [X]
How did the Disney rent-a-cops know you were so stoned? Didn’t you go there later while tripping on acid and Ecstasy? Did that provide any great epiphanies?
Is the love vending machine a front for sex workers?
Nothing says Oktoberfest like testing yourself for colon cancer.
New York is suffering ugly humidity today. I plan to take it very easy. Anthology started a retrospective of Denys Arcand’s early films, so I’ll be catching GINA tomorrow.
Not exactly an early one but Love and Human Remains is one I like
The Japanese sure do love their quirky vending machines. We actually sell the Cat Hat Vending Machine ones at the Barnes & Noble I work at, though in mystery boxes.
I had a long-ish post about my thoughts on FLUNKER, which I finished reading last night, but the blog ate my first entry. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow.
Hey Dennis,
Yep it’s election day here. It feels good to be coming to an end of 14 years of conservative government. Although I can’t say I feel enthusiastic about what we’re going to get instead. I don’t think electoral politics is delivering much for non-billionaires at the moment.
In happier news, yes I am writing, and with your wise words ringing in my head. I definitely feel invigorated and excited to see where it leads.
And to top it all off, I’m about to watch “Lancelot du Lac” for the first time. Will report back tomorrow to let you know how it goes. J xo
Hi from Chania chilling with my dog Ireli Icons only
I am listening to the Alphaville album Forever young and I don’t know exactly why. I am sure a song of theirs appears in your books but I wish I could remember which and where but I will search sometime
Sometimes when I see singers actors that look eerily alike I squint so the image blurs and it’s me. It happens with him and others I could name now. It’s always trip when you step beyond your small world and see so many peeps looking alike and doppelgangers that are not aware of each other but you are aware. Anyway. The song Cambodia by Kim Wilde came after Alphaville and it is very emotional song. Like Gold by Spandau Ballet is. I am waiting to see how you feature it in your story. Tarzan boy plays now and that’s an emotional song too. Yay eighties
Makes full sense Gisele loves Bellmer. I wonder if she likes Unica that much I am sure yes I can see her being interested in her
I wish I could show Gisele my book.
I would love to show her
Strong interview with Max today. I read it all earlier and told him too I liked it!
Love from your Cretan friend love to Paris and stuff
Hey Dennis. So today was voting day. I was thinking about what John Waters says about trying to become the first person to have sex in a voting booth, but unfortunately no voting booth, just a desk with partitions. Shucks. Anyway, my parents were canvassing and were part of some event and met Dave (the drummer) from Blur who’s gone into politics. I wanted to get them to ask him about that interview with Nardwuar where they (particularly Dave) bullied him but oh well.
I have never been stoned at an amusement park. Were you one of those people who got high and went to the planetarium? I did do acid at school once when I was in high school. I only had one class that day. I think I carried myself quite well but I was very loaded so it makes me cringe to think about in retrospect. I was on like 260ug but I was an idiot and assumed that every tab was universally the same strength. Another time I unfortunately was that idiot who gets so high that they make someone drive them to the emergency room, and the embarrassment of that truly haunts my dreams.
Danke Herr Cooper
This film ‘Oh lucky man’ sounds very interesting we will be looking into time permitting
Stan sends his most special wishes he is currently on the, now let me see how do you say? laufende Maschina? ahh… yes the running machine…. adapted and until 2 hours
I am liking this very much Dennis the ‘Verkaufsautomat’- vending apparatus! you are never knowing what it might come out as! das Vergnügen!! fun! much fun!
Schaf Verabschiedung
Auf Wiedersehen Dennis
I like the vending machine, I like the one with the bread, idk how that works
uh, ok. I’m sorry if I’ve been boring or I dont say much interesting stuff this week. This week was weird. Everything just seems so obfuscated. I kind of just dont have the cool energy. So yeaa whoop.
Oh. if you have any suggestions i guess or not. Idk. I like reading poetry but obviously I didn’t grow up with rich people and it wasn’t until middle school that I was able to have access to that. I dont know anything a normal functional human should know.
I hope you have a good week.
C ya
also i’ll get around to reading your new book. I have a lot of stuff on my reading list.
I’m back and rested, with the jet lag mostly gone. Revisited Alcools for the nth time this year. Something about that title just draws you in. Not to mention the endlessly quotable Zone:
“Here you are in Marseilles amid the watermelons
Here you are in Koblenz at the Hotel of the Giant
Here you are in Rome sitting under a Japanese medlar tree
Here you are in Amsterdam with a girl you find beautiful but who is ugly”
This is how it feels logging on here from every bed I’ve been in this year. So many more beds to go! But for now—fighting jet lag on fluffed up pillows, fussing over my dogs after a year, the deep humidity here that leaves everything damp for two months, a panoply of tropical fruits, dangling my feet over the edge of a childhood bed that is much too short. Wishing you an enthusiastic hug from a dog on the street today, if that’s your jam.
Sorry for few days delayed response! I’ve never really been into the Beatles all that much, but my grandparents are Beatles obsessed so I asked about ‘Number 9’ on my weekly phone call with them. Turns out they’re big fans of ‘Number 9’. I didn’t tell them about ‘Racsoih’ because the phone signal was pretty terrible, but maybe next time? This has nothing to do with the hello exchange, which has gotten a little meta today (see above (hopefully it works)).
How do you feel about games that are somewhere between puzzle games and fighting games? Like, say, ‘Crash Bandicoot’ or something? Or games with no puzzles but also no potential screams — like ‘Animal Crossing’?
The Thomas Bernhard and Kim Ki-Duk posts were great, but, man, vending machines! I love vending machines. There’s just something about them. I wish there were more out-there vending machines outside of Japan. When I was a kid I was obsessed with the ones where you could swap 50p for some sort of weird sticky alien toy. They were the best.
Friday once again! How’s yours looking? I woke up at stupid o’clock so I didn’t miss the election results, so feel like my day is going to have a really skewed sense of time as a result.