Month: August 2019 (Page 8 of 14)

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rainbow_tinkerbell, 21
Milan

You found the kid of your dreams to carry under your sheets.
Very young, tall, thin, not even a hair.
Fabulous ass to fuck, if you haven’t already cumshot before just seeing me without clothes.
My hobbies … hmmm are almost just reading books, i know boring; -; i’m sorry but I bet I will make you feel fresh when you’re in my ass.

Guestbook of rainbow_tinkerbell

rainbow_tinkerbell (Owner) – Aug 5, 2019
pic of a cathedral I saw while walking to a Motionless In White concert.

15wantosuckcock – Aug 3, 2019
I really want to suck a cock for the first time don’t report me just message me and I won’t bother you if your not interested I like the idea of looking at you whilst I have a cock in my mouth.

DominusAurelius – July 28, 2019
Why is it so hard for you to find the time for me to come over and face fuck you then pound your ass til you tell me the hour is up?

Dick S, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Shaved
Speaks Russian, Italian, English
Position More bottom
FF No answer
S&M Yes
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 300 €
Overnight 800 €

 

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Notwearingshades, 19
Lincoln

Wanting girls, house wives, and unsatisfied women to pay me for sex. My current bf is generous but he’s useless with giving me the sex I want.

Guestbook of Notwearingshades

Notwearingshades (Owner) – Aug 8, 2019
I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I pretend to be.

Anonymous – Aug 8, 2019
Straight jerks like you who bilk gay men are hateful.

Dick L, Cut
Orientation Hetero
Body Average
Body hair Smooth
Speaks English
Position Top only
FF FF Active
S&M Yes
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Never
Rate per hour 100 $
Overnight 600 $

 

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Hetero_Boxers, 19
Köln

Sell here worn used underwear from me! 100% hetero. If you pay decently enough I can cum all over them fully. I do not meet with you because I am absolutely 100% hetero!

Guestbook of Hetero_Boxers

Anonymous – July 24, 2019
Can someone explain how the cum is different from gay and heterosexual?

Hetero_Boxers (Owner) – July 20, 2019
I live on a boat ⛵ and work as a gardener 🌼.

Anonymous – July 19, 2019
Go to work, your mum is fed up with you!

Anonymous – July 12, 2019
Get a job, you bum!

Dick XL, Uncut
Orientation Hetro
Body Average
Body hair Little
Speaks German, English
Position Known
FF No
S&M No
Oral No
Safer sex No answer
Rate per hour 150 €
Overnight On request

 

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Xxdarklordxx, 21
Casablanca

Love ❤ is love 💙💜 Love🚫sex A gay couple is already straight👬 if the top was masculin💂 and the bottom feminine 👦 Top=men💪💙 Bottom=girl💋💜

Guestbook of Xxdarklordxx

NotTsukiHawke – Aug 5, 2019
2005 called, they want their emo back.

Clou – July 30, 2019
I am a 56 old who is looking for a young girl who looks like you look to come over to the hotel room I am staying until Friday to PNP and get fucked tonight.

SWSAHH – July 21, 2019
Hiii Dear, iam Roshan 26 age pure Guy Basically iam from Cochin Kerala State, INDIA. Now I’m in Ajman nearby Dhana Mall or (Black Square Shopping Mall or Nesto Head-office,Ajman) i worship boys as Gods i like for U in Bed……………. i Love to Suck Ur Cock Deeply and I’m expert in Balls, asshole and armpit Licking too Dear. I Love to Smooch Ur Full-Body also, i Love Tight Hugg & Nude Sleep whole night Dear….. if you want me to Fuck you Harder or Drill you asshole also you are Most welcome Dear, If U have place for Fun & sex also pls send me Ur Location in Google map & Ur addresses with Land-Mark, so i can come to Ur place (Door Step also)……I’m ready to pay you whatever you Demand Dear (i don’t want any money But I will pay you anything You Demand) If U wish or will to stay with you whole life also iam ready to stay for Full life Fun & Tight Hugging with nude Sleep….Even i will Suck Ur Cock whole life also Dear

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Average
Body hair Some
Speaks Farsi, French. English
Position Bottom only
FF No answer
S&M No answer
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Needs discussion
Rate per hour 600 dh
Overnight 700 dh

 

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IngmarBergman, 24
District of Columbia

I make my life a masterpiece for myself and I imagine no limitations on what I have ,can be or do .. just don’t make me call you daddy ,cause I get so annoyed and creeped out by that.

Guestbook of IngmarBergman

IngmarBergman (Owner) – July 26, 2019
I finally let it happen .. and its appeal did not escape me.

suckifyoulike – July 26, 2019
since when are you a bottom? who are you trying to kid?!

Dick XL, Uncut
Orientation Bi
Body Athletic
Body hair Some
Speaks English
Position Versatile
FF Active/passive
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Needs discussion
Rate per hour 350 $
Overnight 1500 $

 

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daddywhereuat, 21
Berlin

Hi,
Im a part time porn star, luxury escort, VIP social accompaniest, trophy boyfriend simulator, and a fully recovered alcoholic.

What I am looking for is a stable, monogamous* relationship with a high class, very wealthy, and most importantly sober “owner” who would keep me housed and pampered and manage my career and affairs. *Obviously your friends or associates would be entitled to the use of my services at no additional cost whenever you choose. I would need to travel away to shoot a porn, but its just a few days a month.

My requirements are the following: Either be in love with me or be very good at pretending. Keep me far away from alcohol. Don’t require me to cum more than one day a week, preferably much less often. I’m not very horny to begin with and I need to save what sperm I have for the porn shoots. I would prefer as much of the action I’m subjected to privately and on the job to be as bareback as possible, but a condom now and then won’t kill me.

Guestbook of daddywhereuat

Anonymous – Aug 13, 2019
Luck!

FranklinWilson – Aug 13, 2019
Ok I took a chance and moved him in with me. Wish me luck.

daddywhereuat (Owner) – July 27, 2019
I do enjoy sex, even if I’m averse to showing outward signs of that enjoyment, but I have never had sex in my life without financial compensation, even with acquaintances, and this is just my way. Money is not my philosophy, but it lies at the core of my ethics.

misterlusitano55 – July 27, 2019
He accompanied me on a business trip to Hong Kong. His sense of entitlement is off the charts. He carried one of those portable pay station devices that waiters use everywhere we went. When I so much as put my arm around him, he pulled out the pay station, negotiated a price, and swiped my credit card, and sex with him was efficient at most.

Dick L, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Shaved
Speaks English, German, Polish, Italian
Position Bottom only
FF Active/passive
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Never
Rate per hour 750 €
Overnight 8000 €

 

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worththemoney, 25
Butte

I ordered my Nazi uniform, it will be ready in July.

I do not hide my fetish, but I do not want my face to be seen on the internet wearing such a uniform. Therefore, there will be no facial pictures of me in the uniform. I ask you to respect this.

If you have a problem with this way of playing, please spare me with moral appeals. I realize that this is not quite ok.

And another thing: For my conscience, all the fantasies and wishes have absolutely nothing to do with my political attitude. I am neither right nor do I follow these approaches!

What I offer:

– WW2 Play
– Overseer / Prisoner
– Torture / humiliation
– To live out the sadism in its most perverted form and feel the power that is in the uniform.

Since this whole thing is morally borderline, and sometimes very quickly can conflict with the law, discretion are a prerequisite for me.

Acceptimg clients soon as the uniform is finished, of course. Unfortunately I only have the cap.

Dick XXL, Uncut
Orientation Hetero
Body Athletic
Body hair Some
Speaks English
Position Top only
FF FF Active
S&M Yes
Oral Bottom only
Safer sex Never
Rate per hour 500 $
Overnight 1200 $

 

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dandeliontequila, 20
Lansing

I’m 20 years old, I have no gay or escort experience but I really think this is nice.

Looking for something paid and regular with someone (<48yo) near campus, and when I say near, I mean within 3ish minute walk.

I have a girlfriend, but I’m not sure what that means in 2019.

Guestbook of dandeliontequila

thefineline – Aug 6, 2019
was obviously repulsed by me and did a very poor job of hiding that

Anonymous – July 31, 2019
I’ve been in the shower room with him at U and his cock is very small but his ass is even more incredible than you can imagine.

Dick L, Uncut
Orientation Bi
Body Athletic
Body hair Shaved
Speaks English, Swedish
Position Prefer not to answer
FF No
S&M No
Oral More bottom
Safer sex Always
Rate per hour 350 $
Overnight On request

 

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IncestBoy, 18
Las Vegas

I want to like someone, do luvlyduvly corny stuffs with them. Or else just someone to hang, sex with is ok. Cuddle is good :)). I joke alot and swear too, It does not mean I hate anyone It’s just my passion haha. Incredibly childish, sometimes I say stuffs that are not sweet. It’s like 3am and making this ad just cost me $9 which is total fucking bullshit.

Guestbook of IncestBoy

Brad – July 29, 2019
He is now Brad’s Son. That is now his name. Brad’s Son used to be off and on here, flaky and selective but now I have control over his choices.
Feel free to tell him what you’d do to him. He asked me to include that he has some sort of bucket list. I think it’s safe to assume the list does not include sex.

checkerboard11 – July 21, 2019
Very odd combination of excessive affection (as long as you keep your hands to yourself) and undisguised hostility (when you don’t)

IncestBoy (Owner) – July 8, 2019
I’m not FtM! Its not that tiny! God I fucking hate you! Not joking this time. I hate you!!!!!

leo_191 – July 8, 2019
Maybe it seemed tiny because he’s FtM pre-op?!

u________ – July 8, 2019
mushy ♥️& okay 🧠& tiny 🍆& drab 🍑& waste of 🕰

Dick S, Cut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Smooth
Speaks English
Position Bottom only
FF No answer
S&M Soft SM
Oral Bottom
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 100 $
Overnight 400 $

 

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LoveFatDaddy, 20
Chicago

I’m a diapertwink meaning a twink as well as an ab/dl. I’m mostly interested in attracting others who are into overgrown babies who look superficially like twinks.

Being full-on in my helpless baby head space there’s really nothing I won’t do or rather could stop you from doing. Like all babies I’m not so into pain or blood. But anything else I’m game to try, and I do mean anything else *cough* fisting *cough*

Not sure what else to put so if I didnt scare you off yet, and you dont mind being around a cuddly baby who doesn’t look like one then give me a shout.

Guestbook of LoveFatDaddy

hornyFFman – Aug 10, 2019
JayReese, I noticed that too!

JayReese – Aug 10, 2019
Gets a Deer in Headlights look when you fist his hole.

CurtinCall – July 24, 2019
An extremely unrealistic baby.

Dick XL, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Athletic
Body hair Some
Speaks English
Position More bottom
FF Passive
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour On request
Overnight On request

 

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armybrat, 18
Charlottesville

My father was a drill sergeant growing up, so I follow orders well, depending on where and when I am. Currently in AROTC, looking at enlisting unless you have a better idea. Looking for $$$, sex, friends, and the like.

Guestbook of armybrat

armybrat (Owner) – July 16, 2019
No disrespect but please don’t waste time. Go straight to the point, say what brings you firmly and commandingly:
– What body parts do you want and what do you want to do with them?
– How many hours do you want?
– When do you want the body delivery and where?

Dick M, Cut
Orientation Hetero
Body Average
Body hair Some
Speaks English
Position Versatile
FF No
S&M Yes
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Never
Rate per hour 250 $
Overnight On request

 

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ONLYUNCLESLIKEME, 18
Brussels

If there was an allowance for being cute, I would have been a millionaire by now😛 So yeah. Hold your hearts gentleman and not so gentle (in bed😛) men because….🤔 I don’t know why just hold them😀😀

I’m looking for cash lays💸😳 and I am 17 am I’m half spinach half Morocco🌋👅 and I smoke a lot of weed🌿🚬 and I only speak (English) and I don’t care how old👴 you are the older🎅 the better😀😀

Guestbook of ONLYUNCLESLIKEME

Anonymous – July 20, 2019
goblins and kleftronia Or bad erection of active keeps five minutes and before it completely says shed but seed nothing

nikos47 – July 11, 2019
tell us the gold … … the place is scorching

sleepyboo – July 11, 2019
Also here how is so in the profile the black of the carpet has My wants and scouting

Anonymous – July 7, 2019
He is a hot kid but he does not feel like a photo is a beautiful person, but here he is like the crazy village

Anonymous – Jun 27, 2019
Caution is trying to sell miserable drugs to make money for his dose

Dick XL, Uncut
Orientation Bi
Body Athletic
Body hair Shaved
Speaks Farsi, French, English
Position More top
FF FF Active
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 600 €
Overnight 3000 €

 

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CuteBookworm, 18
Solna

My name is Eric. I would rather speak English but I can speak Swedish. My hobby is reading whether it is news paper, news, novels, G K book or any knowledgeable book written by any good author. I always read story books, news paper, magazines, and any other material that I find interesting in my free time. This hobby of reading books of mine was first noticed by my father and he motivated me by saying that it is a very good habit my son given to you naturally, never let this habit off and keep it in practice.

Guestbook of CuteBookworm

CuteBookworm (Owner) – Aug 4, 2019
But I would kill somebody to have sex with Shrek.

CuteBookworm (Owner) – Aug 4, 2019
Hi. Although I’ve been identifying as gay for a while now, my latest experiences seemed to point me toward a more asexual spectrum.

thanfrench02 – Aug 4, 2019
I’ve had a boy’s face tied to my arse for several weeks with no breaks and would love it again with you.

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Bi
Body Average
Body hair Little
Speaks Swedish, Danish, German, English
Position Unknown
FF No
S&M No
Oral No answer
Safer sex No answer
Rate per hour 100 €
Overnight 600 €

 

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skinnyprince, 21
Saint Petersburg

Hi to everyone on here.. I am here business.. looking for a serious partner for a serious business.. I am looking for a representative or a buyer of gold bars that my late uncle left behind for me. It’s very urgent.. Thank you..

Guestbook of skinnyprince

skinnyprince (Owner) – July 27, 2019
What is going on here right now ?????

csabcsika – July 26, 2019
He’s still beautiful, he just looks and acts totally insane.

Kelvinice – July 26, 2019
That’s a shame. He was such a beautiful boy.

csabcsika – July 26, 2019
I know this escort and he has recently lost his mind.

Dick S, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Shaved
Speaks Russian, English
Position No answer
FF No answer
S&M No answer
Oral No answer
Safer sex No answer
Rate per hour 10000 ₽
Overnight 100000 ₽

 

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Tony, 18
Manchester

Hey, I’m a secret fag boy from around Manchester and I’m just on here because I think I’ve been getting horny looks from the father one of one of my mates and I want to see if he’s about! If you aren’t the father of my mate then I don’t think we’re gonna get very far sorry!

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Smooth
Speaks English
Position Versatile
FF No answer
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour On request
Overnight On request

 

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twink4sleepingpills, 19
Chicago

Hi, I’m a broke college student who just happens to be very into the whole limp fetish. I love being knocked out while somebody uses my body, and I desperately need money so … We would need to have dinner or drinks first so I’m sure you’re not a murderer 🙂

Guestbook of twink4sleepingpills

invisibleman69 – Aug 5, 2019
Pay attention to him before you dose him! He’s fascinating!

Dick S, Cut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Little
Speaks English, French
Position Bottom only
FF Passive
S&M Yes
Oral Top
Safer sex Never
Rate per hour On request
Overnight 800 $

 

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YouNaked4me, 22
Billericay

I’ve been traveling in the desserts of my mind and I haven’t found a drop of life ||-\\

I’m not sure if I’m gay.
I do not feel well with girls.
Find gays interesting
Especially if they say I have a great ass.

Oh and I’m also a virgin, no really I am.

Guestbook of YouNaked4me

YouNaked4me (Owner) – July 31, 2019
If you’re referring to what I think you’re referring to that didn’t count.

JacobXOXO – July 31, 2019
no really he isn’t.

Dick L, Uncut
Orientation Unknown
Body Average
Body hair Little
Speaks English
Position Unknown
FF No
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 180 £
Overnight 500 £

 

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TellMeImGay, 23
Brooklyn

Listen, straight guy, doing a service. What happens and evolves afterwards is secondary. Really important u understand that. But I fuck and look Better then ur ex. Any of ur exes. Thats why Im ur fucking bitch right now. Im Better than Better, Maybe im lying. Im sadder then yall with the money and the freedom.

Guestbook of TellMeImGay

lance2019 – Aug 3, 2019
He’s a cute guy but it’s a ripoff. He only let me jack him off while he watched straight porn. But on my way out I stole his used, stinky socks. I’ve got them down my pants right now while I’m at work and I can feel them rub against my bollocks as I sit at my desk and I can smell his hot sweaty foot aroma coming from my trousers while I work…. fuck yeah!

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Hetero
Body Athletic
Body hair Shaved
Speaks English, Portuguese, Spanish
Position Versatile
FF FF Active
S&M Soft SM
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 80 $
Overnight 300 $

 

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InsideRiver, 20
Kansas City

Hello! Everyone thinks I’m the spitting image of River Phoenix. Do you want to be inside me? I’m also a poet working on his undergraduate degree. Free service to editors of respectable literary journals who will publish my poems.

Guestbook of InsideRiver

Mischiefenthusiast – July 22, 2019
shit in his arse makes the world go by quicker

Dick L, Cut
Orientation Bi
Body Athletic
Body hair Shaved
Speaks English
Position Versatile
FF No
S&M No answer
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 300 $
Overnight 1000 $

 

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mylifeisboringcrap, 24
Melbourne

I am a bottom, but I’m not making this ad to find a SugarDaddy in the usual sense. I want to be raped for $500. I want to be forced to take cock and used like a disposable hole in order to get off. I realize, trust-and-legal-wise, that’s a tricky situation, but I have experience — some very real, some more prearranged — in being raped.

Presently have no fucking clue about my HIV or STD status, but for my entire sexual (and pre-sexual) life men have been raping me bareback (in the pre-teens, without my knowledge or consent) and I have grown used to that issue of whether I’m sick or not, and I don’t want to know. So, take your chances.

As for why I do this, if you care, I have always been attracted to a person who gets off destroying somebody else’s self-image, self-worth, and self-love. There is no greater high than being completely broken psychologically. Experiencing ego death is better than any other accomplishment in my opinion. It is like heroin, and you and your cock are the needle that gets it to me.

Guestbook of mylifeisboringcrap

ccicc – July 28, 2019
@Multipleman – Loved your colourful report but it still sounds like no more than a $100 fuck to me.

Multipleman – July 28, 2019
What I got for my $500.
Pure focus on me.
Boy ass — Man skills.
Zero fuss. Straight forward rape.
Zero drama. Zero maintenance. Pure focus. Pure submission.
Felt his lust for my pleasure. Let it unleash me.
Used his little ass. Hurt it. Took it.
Forced it open. Forced it to respond to every thrust.
Spanked his quivering juicy pink hole.
Made it RED. Made it hurt! Smashed it!
Raped his hurt smashed hole.
It could not resist and responded to every violent stab.
Pounded my cum deep into him. Forced him to absorb my essence.
He convulsed as he bucked and milked my huge orgasm.
Opened his mind with my force as his beaten hole closed to hold my gift inside him.
Thank you mylifeisboringcrap!

topitalianxxlmacho – July 16, 2019
Note the photos are not current, his face is more sepulchral but still handsome in a slightly scary way.

Dick L, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Shaved
Speaks English
Position Bottom only
FF Passive
S&M Yes
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Never
Rate per hour 500 $
Overnight On request

 

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geilekroonaapzuiger, 18
Delft

im a masturbator and i sell sexy pics

Guestbook of geilekroonaapzuiger

Anonymous – Aug 10, 2019
DANGER! Child pornography sting operation!

geilekroonaapzuiger (Owner) – Aug 5, 2019
my life has take a very deep downward spiral and i want to put it back together. my whole life i felt like i been missing something and now i have seen the light and know selling my pics is the life i need to living. i need to do this i need to revamp my life for the better because i cant do it. i thought i was this independent person but i am not. i was wrong. i need control of my life and im offering to show 100% of my body. i dont have contact with family and i dont really have friends so im easy. well thats my spill.

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Bi
Body Slim
Body hair Smooth
Speaks Dutch, English
Position No
FF No
S&M No
Oral No
Safer sex Always
Rate per hour On request
Overnight On request

 

_______________

intrinsicallySo, 18
Toulouse

I may love my video games but I’m willing to get action as long as none of it interferes with my video games.

Guestbook of intrinsicallySo

Robervd – July 24, 2019
skip

scientist_2 – July 17, 2019
You can also rim him while he plays lying on his stomach but he complains that you’re distracting him a lot.

MrJones – July 12, 2019
Plan whatever you want to do with him to last no more than about 15 minutes because that’s as long as he’s willing to pause his game.

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Bi
Body Slim
Body hair Little
Speaks French, English
Position Versatile
FF No answer
S&M No answer
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Needs discussion
Rate per hour 60 €
Overnight 80 €

 

_______________

Problematic, 19
London

This is my lying, cheating boyfriend. What would you pay to make his hole into a slack permanently gaped fist hole?

Update July 2019: Since those photos were taken he has had extensive facial surgery so he has a very feminine face.

Dick M, Uncut
Orientation Gay
Body Slim
Body hair Shaved
Speaks Ukrainian, English
Position Bottom only
FF Passive
S&M Yes
Oral Versatile
Safer sex Let’s talk
Rate per hour 300 £
Overnight 500 £

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Armando, Hi, man. Yeah, I seem to have missed it yesterday. I’m good. Things have been kind of weird, but good as well. Today? Work on various things, a meeting, not sure what else yet. You? No, I haven’t gotten to your emails yet, I’m very sorry. It’s been a hard summer. Two sudden and unexpected deaths from cancer of two close friends and a lot of work chaos related in part to one of those deaths, and I’m more behind than even usual. I will try to get to your emails as soon as possible. Sorry again. ** David Ehrenstein, Santa’s pretty wily. He has probably already set up shop in northern Norway or somewhere. ** Sypha, And now I remember the last time and your lovely add/suggestion. Thank you again. I did look into seeing the Tarantino yesterday, but all the showings in my vicinity were sold out, so I’ll try again late this week or at the weekend. ** Steve Erickson, That’s a plausible Santa source theory. I did read some seemingly authoritative explanation somewhere of where he came to be, but I’m blanking on it. Could have been that. Everyone, If you have any curiosity about Roberto Minervini’s new documentary WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN THE WORLD’S ON FIRE?, and I know I do, you can preface or combine your discovery with Mr. Erickson’s opinion of it. Here. Yay about The Quietus giving you the go ahead! Fantastic news! ** _Black_Acrylic, Ha ha, but, yes, it kind of does, doesn’t it. Drat. ** Well, that was easy. Okay. It’s the 15th of the month, and, assuming you’ve been keeping up with  your days’ dates, you probably already knew what that meant about this place before you even clicked into here. See you tomorrow.

* (restored)

 

Generally

‘In 1821, the book A New-year’s present, to the little ones from five to twelve was published in New York. It contained “Old Santeclaus”, an anonymous poem describing an old man on a reindeer sleigh, bringing presents to children.

‘Many of Santa Claus’s modern attributes are established in the 1823 poem “A Visit From St. Nicholas” (better known today as “The Night Before Christmas”), such as riding in a sleigh that lands on the roof, entering through the chimney, and having a bag full of toys. St. Nick is described as being “chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf” with “a little round belly”, that “shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly”, in spite of which the “miniature sleigh” and “tiny reindeer” still indicate that he is physically diminutive.

‘As the years passed, Santa Claus evolved in popular culture into a large, heavyset person. One of the first artists to define Santa Claus’s modern image was American cartoonist Thomas Nast, an American cartoonist who immortalized Santa Claus with an 1863 illustration for Harper’s Weekly in which Santa is shown dressed in an American flag, and has a puppet with the name “Jeff” written on it.

The story that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole may also have been a Nast creation. His Christmas image in the Harper’s December, 1866 issue included the caption “Santa Claussville, N.P.” In 1869, a poem appeared in Harper’s titled “Santa Claus and His Works” by George P. Webster, which stated that Santa Claus’s home was “near the North Pole, in the ice and snow”. The tale had become well known by the 1870s.

‘The popular conception of Santa Claus’s home traditionally includes a residence and a workshop where he creates — often with the aid of elves or other supernatural beings — the gifts he delivers to good children at Christmas. Some stories and legends include a village, inhabited by his helpers, surrounding his home and shop.

‘By the end of the 20th century, the reality of mass mechanized production became more fully accepted by the Western public. That shift was reflected in the modern depiction of Santa’s residence—now often portrayed as a fully mechanized production and distribution facility, equipped with the latest manufacturing technology, and overseen by the elves with Santa and Mrs. Claus as executives and/or managers.’ — collaged

 

Architecturally

‘There’s an old riddle that challenges children to draw a diagram of a house without lifting their pencil or repeating a line. The basic shape is composed of a square with diagonals running from corner to corner, topped with a triangular roof. In Germany, kids are taught to speak one syllable of the phrase, ‘Das ist das Haus des Nikolaus,’ for each line they draw. The game is known as ‘The House of Santa Claus.’ This simple line drawing represents some of the architectural imagery that forms the setting of the Santa Claus myth. His home, village and workshop, have transformed through the centuries in step with the evolution of the man himself.

‘Scandinavian influence on the St. Nicholas myth formed the basis of the Santa Claus story and would be the first point of reference for his architectural traditions. Now living at the North Pole, his house was believed to be a traditional earth hut of northern Lapland. These circular homes were constructed of curving pine rafters that formed a dome shape, supported with sod and covered with reindeer skins. A hearth was placed at the centre of the room, vented through a smoke hole at the top of the structure. Village shaman would traditionally enter through these holes, thought to be the origin of Santa’s ritual chimney descent. Children in Denmark and Greenland today believe that Santa Claus lives in one of these huts on the island of Uummannaq in western Greenland.

‘As the legend of St. Nicholas continued to evolve, his home became associated with traditional Scandinavian log structures that combined the artistic skill and woodworking techniques of Viking ship building. Known as stave construction, unpainted vertical pine logs were set within a post and beam frame that supported a high pitch, wood shingle, pagoda style roof. Gables, doorways and structural supports were decorated with ornate wood carvings similar to the prow of a Viking ship. This timber frame, alpine image has prevailed through the centuries as a common representation of Santa’s home in popular culture.

‘Popular associations with the architecture that surrounded Santa changed in the late 1800s into the traditional half-timber buildings common in northern Europe. This construction style uses large oak timbers to create a structural frame that is filled with light coloured brick and plaster. The contrasting dark wood columns and angled bracing form a distinctive pattern that is expressed on the building’s exterior. This construction method was widespread across northern Europe and has become the predominant architectural imagery related to Santa Claus, found in snow-globes, children’s books and on Christmas decorations.

‘The 20th Century did see periodic diversions from this traditional imagery. In England, the characterization of Santa as a “right jolly old elf” resulted in his home being represented at shopping malls and department stores as a grotto or magical cave, the mythical home of Scandinavian elves. Popular children’s holiday cartoons such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus is Coming to Town, portrayed Santa living in a Romanesque style, Bavarian castle with towers, gables and ornamental turrets.

‘Modern interpretations have generally returned to the image of European half-timber buildings, but with the introduction of Santa’s workshop, the architecture of the North Pole has taken on a grander scale. Modern Hollywood movies describe Santa’s home as a bustling European style, medieval village surrounding a monumental production and distribution facility, equipped with modern manufacturing technology, staffed by teams of tireless elves.

‘As the depiction of Santa Claus has evolved through the centuries, so, too, has the architecture that provides a context to his myth. Santa’s timeless image will likely remain consistent in the future, but his architecture will continue to evolve.’ — Brent Bellamy, Number Ten Architectural Group

 

Interview

Do you have visitors at the North Pole?

Well it is a little difficult to give direction, because the North Pole is not stationary, the water above which is thick ice is constantly moving because of the ocean currents. If I were to give you directions on where we were by the time you got here we wouldn’t be here. If it were not for my reindeer’s keen sense of direction I might get lost too.

Do you live at your North Pole Village?

The North Pole is my permanent residence and the place I love the most. But, throughout the year I visit many cities and countries, where I stop and stay for a few days. Many of my favorite places to visit are a secret known only to Mrs. Claus and me.

What do you do when you’re not making toys?

Santa relaxes by walking in our forest just outside North Pole Village and listening to the voices of the wilderness. I also spend time preparing for next Christmas delivery by reading children’s letter. You know children write me all year long and I so do look forward to hearing from each of them. My favorite pastime is reading books and listening to music.

Do you understand animal language?

Why yes, I understand a little animal language. But actually the animals are very smart and they totally understand everything that I say. Have you found that you do not always understand one of your pets, but they understand things that you say or tell them. It’s really remarkable.

Are all the gifts made at Santa’s North Pole Village?

Not all of them. Some are made at home, and they are especially precious. You’ve surely heard of homemade jelly or mustard or hand knit wool socks. In some places there are little workshops that also help Santa by making gifts.

How many elves are there living at North Pole Village?

That’s something no one knows exactly. Elves are such fast little people, and they are rarely ever all in the same place at the same time. But when the sun sets in the North Pole, there are probably as many little elf toes under the blankets as there are stars in the night sky, if not more.

Do you have swimming trunks?

Indeed I do, and I use them regularly. I like to swim best in the summer but I am known to jump into the icy cold water and play with Polar Bears, but I always make sure the Elf lifeguards are on duty.

What does your house look like?

That’s a good question.

 

67 educated guesses

 

 

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p.s. Hey. ** David Ehrenstein, Enjoy your celebration! ** Steve Erickson, Hi. Curious to read your Sleater Kinney review. The album never took hold with me. Everyone. Mr. Erickson weighs in on THE CENTER WON’T HOLD, the new album by the sonically revamped Sleater Kinney in exactly this spot. Cool about the Bonello interview. I’m interested to see if Americans take to ‘Zombi Child’. It was a gigantic bomb over here. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, B. She’s a good one to know, I reckon. Ah, damn, sorry about the no-go on your story. Don’t take it too hard. The gig of editor does not come with supernatural powers of taste and judgement. Submitting writing is always a crapshoot facing massive subjectivity and politics. Exactly, back on the horse. Go for it. ** Misanthrope, I know, she looks kind of irresistible. Maybe the re-meet with the pals will be even more glamorous than your wish. Life can be so surprising. Well, maybe not so much these days, but once upon a time, life was just one surprise after another. If people go WTF, they either aren’t writers or they’re not very sophisticated writers. ** Chris Cochrane, Well, howdy, Chris, old buddy! My pleasure, duh, on the Frame. Whoa, that is something new. Man, that sounds like a hell of a lot of work of a job. But super noble among, I’m sure, its other wealth giving properties. Four releases? Of what nature? Wow, that’s manna. France, or at least Paris, is definitely settling into fall. I had close my windows last night it was so nippy. And I am one happy home camper as a result. I think you guys are still trudging through the heat, from what I read? Thanks, yeah, it’s a good thing and interesting and fingers crossed about the novel re-entry. You sound equally busy. Sure would be good to see you. I’ve gotta figure out a way to swing through NYC. Hm. Take care, buddy. ** Right. I’m writing something about Santa Claus, and it was no doubt that preoccupation that lead me to decide to resuscitate this marina yet festive post from my old, murdered blog. Have fun? I think that’s its goal in life. See you tomorrow.