DC's

The blog of author Dennis Cooper

Page 797 of 1094

4 books I read recently and loved: Sarah Rose Etter The Book of X, Stephen van Dyck People I’ve Met From The Internet, Lisa Marie Basile & Alyssa Morhardt-Goldstein Nympholepsy, Eric Walker Selected Poems

_____________

 

‘I knew I wanted to write a story that was surreal and resisted the ability to be set during any certain year and technology is one of those markers that can give a story an absolute timeframe. I didn’t want to tackle the impact of smartphones and social media in The Book of X, because it would detract from Cassie’s experience and emotions. Once you’ve introduced a device like that into a character’s life, it’s so easy to say Oh, just go on a smartphone diet and you’ll be fine! You just need more self control!

‘For Cassie, though, loneliness is much more complex. Based on her body, based on her past, it’s not as simple as going to a singles mixer and opening herself up to the nearest accountant. Further, this is a society that has already decided she should be an outcast because of how she looks. Her loneliness feels, to me, like an extension of her knot—it is one of the biggest ways in which her body works as a barrier between herself and the rest of the world. And once her knot is removed physically, it does remain for her mentally. There’s something so relatable about this to me—the idea of a woman being trapped in and by her own body, and being other.

‘I’ve been reading a lot about the research into loneliness—how there are doctors exploring whether we can cure loneliness with a pill. That seems wrong to me, for some reason—almost as if we’re curing something medically that we could fix by seeing each other and building real relationships. It seems surreal, doesn’t it?

‘So much of this book is about loneliness and isolation. I suspect one of the reasons I feel so drawn to those topics is because loneliness is one of the few emotions that crosses lines of gender, race, and class. Like death, and to some extent love, loneliness is one of those major human concerns that none of us can escape. In that way, loneliness is universal—in that way, our loneliness unites us.’ — Sarah Rose Etter

 

Sarah Rose Etter Site
There’s No Surgery for Loneliness
Why Sarah Rose Etter Wrote A Grotesque Body Horror Novel About The Experience Of Womanhood
Sarah Rose Etter on the Unintended Grotesque
Go Forth: Sarah Rose Etter’s Book of X
Buy ‘The Book of X’

 

Sarah Rose Etter The Book of X
Two Dollar Radio

‘A surreal exploration of one woman’s life and death against a landscape of meat, office desks, and bad men.

The Book of X tells the tale of Cassie, a girl born with her stomach twisted in the shape of a knot. From childhood with her parents on the family meat farm, to a desk job in the city, to finally experiencing love, she grapples with her body, men, and society, all the while imagining a softer world than the one she is in. Twining the drama of the everyday—school-age crushes, paying bills, the sickness of parents—with the surreal—rivers of thighs, men for sale and fields of throats—Cassie’s realities alternate to create a blurred, fantastic world of haunting beauty.’ — Two Dollar Radio

 

Excerpt

Vision #13 (Throat Fields)

I took my lover out to the throat fields because I need something to strangle.

“It’ll be five dollars per throat,” a man in overalls calls to us and I pay.

“It’s been a long week at work,” I explain.

“I don’t understand,” he says.

Discomfort blares off his skin in the sun. This is his first time, and I want it to be tender.

The bare necks reach toward the sun, short stalks of flesh, the raw edges of the throats blooming the color of old blood at the center.

How did he see me before this? Poised with the right hair. Now, I am disheveled, wearing filthy sweats, bags under eyes.

Lately, the fury has been keeping me up. My anger boils under my skin at work, beneath the fluorescent lights of the office. All I have ever wanted is a soft place. At night, I dream of rooms filled with feathers or cotton.

“You don’t feel the same anymore, do you?” I ask him out in the throat fields.

I can feel his ebbs and flows instantly. I know when he is turning from me in the slightest way, as if a flower toward another sun.

“Remember the good days?” I ask.

He looks carved as stone. No words, just that straight face.

“Say something,” I say.

The silence is bigger than suns, it is the silence of distant galaxies. The universe begins to crumble. The rage roars trucklike through my blood.

I throw myself to my knees in the field. I grab a good neck, a thick neck. I look up at him with my mania. The rage multiplies and I wrap fingers around the flesh.

“SAY SOMETHING,” I scream.

I clench hard, good around the throat. I squeeze until my fingers want to break. The skin caves in beneath, which feels good, a satisfaction. I strangle harder, until I go dizzy from lack of oxygen, until my rage deflates.

I pant on the ground before him, my weak fingers still around the skin. He stands in the field, still silent, immobile. I stare up at his throat which is long and thick, glinting in the light like a silver coin.

 

Vision #17 (Sadness Training)

The sign on the door says SADNESS TRAINING on a piece of cheap white copy paper in the black letters made by a weak printing cartridge.

“You must be Cassie,” says a woman with short spiky blond hair who greets me in the cheap waiting room.

“That’s me,” I say.

She glances down at a chart in her hands.

“Well, it’s been brought to our attention that you’ve been bringing your sadness to work. Your boss says your sadness is starting to influence your performance.”

I nod as if guilty.

“Well, we’re going to offer you some strategies to prevent that. Follow me.”

I nod again and follow her into a cramped room with yellow light. In the center of the room, there is a table between us. She sits across from me like a detective.

“Now, this is a common problem and you should not feel ashamed,” she explains. “However, it is also unacceptable and it is costing your company dearly in terms of productivity and revenue.”

“Revenue?”

“The sadder you are, the worse you work,” she chirps. “That’s where I come in.”

I picture myself as a slow moving machine, wheels churning through the mud of my own sadness.

“There are three sadness strategies,” she says. She slides a piece of paper across the table.

“Strategy number one requires you to put the sadness in another part of yourself. This is called compartmentalization. I want you to think of your sadness and think of stuffing it into a square white box.”

My sadness in this scenario takes on the shape of a black sludge. I picture my hands pushing my sadness into a white box in a green field, the darkness of the sludge spilling over the top of the pristine box.

“Strategy number two relies on your imagination. You just have to imagine you aren’t sad.”

I picture myself without my sadness. I picture my sadness in a grave, being buried.

“Strategy number three relies on strength,” she says. “I want you to picture yourself digging a grave for your sadness and burying it.”

I imagine that my sadness has a body just like mine, the same shape and size.

I visualize the strategy: In the green field, I dig and I dig and I dig until there is a hole big enough for my sadness. I shove the body of my sadness into the ditch, then I cover it with the fresh dirt.

 


Franklin Park Reading Series – Sarah Rose Etter


Story Swaps: Sarah Rose Etter and Amber Sparks


Sarah Rose Etter reads for GENERAL IDEA at Brickbat Books

 

 

_____________

 

‘It was a blurb from City of Night author John Rechy that caught my eye: “This is an impressive work, modern, relevant, powerfully startling in its effect.” Stephen Van Dyck’s experimental memoir—an annotated inventory—is accurately described by its title. The book opens with a flow chart, a seventeen-page catalog of who, when, where, what: birth name, screen name, website of first contact, date, location, summary of first meeting, age of the person, times met or days spent together, and “activity” (kissed, sucked, fucked, etc.).

‘Following this comprehensive record, the book flows chronologically, with numbered paragraphs elaborating on the encounters, sexual and otherwise. We are reminded, for instance, about the AOL compact discs that regularly came in the mail in the late 1990s during the dial-up days. The connections made in sexual and community-building chatrooms, experienced through the wide eyes of a high school kid in New Mexico, are fascinating to witness. Van Dyck provides a guided tour of a world many of us knew about, experimented with, and remember as an age of innocence. Today’s world of Grindr and similar apps has sped up the process, but the groundwork for our dating-via-hook-up social world is evident in these pages.

‘The innocence of the narrator and his sometimes clinical descriptions are mesmerizing. I was reminded of my favorite Rechy novel, Numbers (1967), in which our hero, Johnny Rio, spends a week and a half all over L.A. trying to have sex with as many men as possible. After each conquest in Griffith Park, Rio goes into the men’s room to check his reflection in the polished steel mirror, to see if a look of sex-hunger or satiation shows up in his face. (This is Rechy’s allusion to Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray, who regularly checks his portrait to see whether his increasing debauchery is visible.) Van Dyck’s eleven-year timespan captures a similar process of self-exploration, artistic development, and struggle, stretching from an AOL Chatroom in March 1998, in Albuquerque, to OKCupid in March 2009, in Los Angeles. Van Dyck doesn’t say why his project stopped in 2009. Maybe there’s a sequel?’ — Chris Freeman

 

Stephen van Dyck Site
Stephen van Dyck @ Twitter
SvD @ instagram
PIMFTI @ goodreads
Buy ‘People I’ve Met From The Internet’

 

Stephen van Dyck People I’ve Met From The Internet
Ricochet Editions

‘Stephen van Dyck’s PEOPLE I’VE MET FROM THE INTERNET is a queer reimagining of the coming-of-age narrative set at the dawn of the internet era. In 1997, AOL is first entering suburban homes just as thirteen-year-old Stephen is coming into his sexuality, constructing selves and cruising in the fantasyscape of the internet. Through strange, intimate, and sometimes perilous physical encounters with the hundreds of men he finds there, Stephen explores the pleasures and pains of growing up, contends with his mother’s homophobia and early death, and ultimately searches for a way of being in the world. Spanning twelve years, the book takes the form of a very long annotated list, tracking Stephen’s journey and the men he meets from adolescence in New Mexico to post-recession adulthood in Los Angeles, creating a multi-dimensional panorama of gay men’s lives as he searches for glimpses of utopia in the available world.’ — Ricochet Editions

 

Excerpt
from YES FEMMES

NAME: KENNETH GEORGE
AGE: 18
SCREEN NAME: “ECLIPSE80”
WEBSITE: AOL CHAT ROOM
DATE: MARCH 1998
LOCATION: ALBUQUERQUE, NM
SUMMARY OF MEETING: FOUND HIM OUTSIDE SCHOOL
TIMES MET: MET IN PERSON AT LEAST 5 TIMES
SEX: –

Kenneth, a senior at my high school when I was a freshman, had hair-sprayed crispy, spiked hair, light brown skin, and a navy blue polo in his junior yearbook photo. Over the phone Kenneth played his favorite song, “Lost in Love” by the Nasty Boy Klick, a Spanglish R&B song popular on hip-hop stations across the Southwest. Kenneth told me “Fire It Up” by Busta Rhymes sampled the Knight Rider theme song. Kenneth couldn’t believe I had never heard of Knight Rider. Two months later I changed my screen name to “FireItUp6.” This was in the middle of a period of using Tori Amos song titles for my secret gay screen names. My straight friend Jerry later recalled in disbelief that I was the one who called her “Tori Anus” all the time. That was only a year before I got the poster of Tori nursing a piglet that my mother demanded I remove. For my straight friends I was “Vow15” and later “Vow16,” a gothy song by Garbage, plus my age. Jerry introduced me to Garbage lead singer Shirley Manson one afternoon after school at Jerry’s. Jerry thought she was my type, and for a while that became my explanation. A backlit band in greyish blues, oranges and purples play to sawing noises and grinds. Then, standing defiantly still to an almost danceable mid-tempo rhythm, a woman at the mic does not smile or make an innocently seductive face. You could call it a pissed look if only she cared. A large area around her eyes is black. She’s telling another girl that she’s a phony for trying to be liked, that everything she actually possessed she was wasting. What should the girl have done with what she had? Years later, when I came out to Jerry, he couldn’t believe how well he was duped the whole time, that all the signs had been in plain sight.

Kenneth was Navajo. Kenneth’s parents never married, though they were a couple for at least as long as he had been alive. Did his parents celebrate anniversaries? Eat dinner together? Live together? Kenneth told me they did, in an apartment complex near the Costco on Jefferson. Maybe Kenneth played the Nasty Boy Klick song to tell me he wanted to get lost in love with me. I didn’t know if this was a thing people did. All I knew was Shannon Cooke and I would play songs back and forth over the phone, holding cordless receivers to our boom boxes to have a conversation. We once used most of an evening and Jagged Little Pill to communicate that she had a crush on me. That was not long before I had to buy a second Jagged Little Pill because my first was so scratched. I got my first copy by exchanging The Fugees’ The Score because, I still remember, on the way home from the mall, I told my father it had a parental advisory sticker. “Should we return it?” my father asked. “I guess so,” 12 year-old me responded.

School was seven hours of half-awake hiding in a notebook drawing cats and a goth sneering drag queen-ish character, and then I came back to the computer. My parents interrupted to make me eat dinner and play piano. Otherwise, my mother watched The Nanny or my father watched the British Parliament on C-Span. At 11 PM my mother would burst in and yank the phone cord from the wall in a dramatic show of force. Some nights I would sneak back to the computer room and plug the phone cord back into the wall, but only after waiting until my parents had gone to sleep, in the interim listening to Tidal or Tigerlily or Eurythmics’ Greatest Hits—my first album purchase at age 11. When I played “Sweet Dreams” to my parents, they said the music was fake, because there were no actual instruments. This was a popular commentary on disco and synth music in that time. One time my mother paused the song. “Did she just say some of them want to abuse you? Abuse?” in a tone like the answer would determine whether the CD would be trash. ”No, amuse,” I said.

 


Chewing Carolers, Stephen van Dyck – Let Them Eat LACMA, 2010


Jasper Johns & Stephen Van Dyck on the Eternal Telethon


Episode 5: Stephen Van Dyck

 

 

_______________

 

‘Generally, most of the writing a poet does is pretty solitary. Many poets write poetry collections or poems alone. Given the nature of writing, often being birthed of the self, writing in a group or as a duo is an often overlooked form of expression. Sometimes it feels unnatural. How do you meet at the center of your individual experiences? Is it even possible?

‘And yet, it has been done — a lot. In fact, collaborative poetry is an amazing testament to creativity. Have you ever participated in an exquisite corprse? This old parlor game technique was invented by the Surrealists and is done by having everyone write on a sheet of paper, and then pass it to the next player. The previous writing is kept hidden.

‘In fact, a well-known French Surrealist book, Ralentir Travaux, was collaboratively written in the 1930s — in five days — by Andre Breton, Rene Char and Paul Eluard.

‘Another more recent example of collaborative poetry is in Asdaa magazine’s “Poem Factory” experiment. The experiment has people using MediaWiki to write modern poetry in Arabic. The Poem Factory’s purpose is one worth thinking about: “To liberate poetry from the disease of ownership and its pathological offsprings, such as fame obsession and copy rights, which have become characteristic of creative production.”

‘If you’re looking to get a taste for collaborative poetry, read Saints of Hysteria: A Half-Century of Collaborative American Poetry, edited by Maureen Seaton, Denise Duhamel, and David Trinidad. Of course, this is limited to American poets — so you should also check out Japenese collaborative poetry, like Renga.

‘When we think about collaborative poetry, something new happens. It’s a birthing, in a sense. We are able to let go of the reigns in a vulnerable way, a way that depends on others and decenters our own voice.

‘Our pain becomes our collaborators’ pain. Their pain becomes ours. Their beauty becomes ours. Our beauty, theirs. In two distinct voices, for example, a third new, or wholly individual voice is born. Unity and humanity is etched into words.

‘I wrote collaborative work here and there amongst friends, usually as a writing exercise. My last book, Nympholepsy, was co-written by with another poet, Alyssa Morhardt-Goldstein. I’m not sure, looking back, that we set out to publish the book or not. I think not. We began what turned in our book as a sort of cathartic writing process.’ — Lisa Marie Basile

 

Lisa Marie Basile
Alyssa Morhardt-Goldstein
Nympholepsy @ goodreads
‘Nympholepsy’ excerpts
Buy ‘Nympholepsy’

 

Lisa Marie Basile & Alyssa Morhardt-Goldstein Nympholepsy
Inside the Castle

‘In ancient Greece, nympholepsy was a state of heightened rhetorical powers conferred by a nymph. These two writers are high on rhetoric as they take turns recalling a nymphomanical period in their lives. (Or, given all the references to a hive, perhaps this is the pollen-drunk tale of some louche honeybees.) The lyrical writing is stunning, mesmerizing, ingenious. This purse-size booklet is especially recommended if you like Carole Maso.’ — Stephen Moore

 

Excerpt

ALRAUNE (ALYSSA)

The spells we manufacture inside us are dismal. Sydelle throws oyster after oyster down her throat, casting a spell to turn her pussy gold, chanting over in her mind for all the men to smell her as an overripe peach and come to claim her. She thinks we don’t see this, or else she doesn’t think of us at all.

Grace is here, mewing on Sydelle’s arm in scraps of spandex and jeans, plastic glasses like neon window-shades, and lip gloss, and filming us as she drinks.

Luciana orders another and the light quivers blue-green into the horse-mane hair of these girls. She told me how Sydelle punched her as hard as she could in the face while she lay sleeping. How she bled like a fountain.

This is invincible.

 

ALRAUNE

The covetous hive, the hive bathed in black soap.

Three little queens in three little cells. Three little hedons, self-stripped, opening their legs in each corner of the room, in the dankness of stark 5am under a pitched roof. Six little legs, three little wet mouths, and more fingers, more fingers than there should be in the dark.

We are the velvet women. If you are looking for witches, we are the witches, storing sperm in jars under our beds, sending out our army of velvet girls.

Luciana and I pour ourselves baths of ambrosia in our desire and sickness, or our desire of sickness. We grow and our sex grows, that is the point. Making us eternal, insulate, able to inseminate even ourselves, to poison and lick our many fingers. For this, Sydelle wants to ribbon our bodies bloody.

Man after man after man brings the queen of drones and, in her fetish of herself in them, the hive’s destruction. Engulfed in this swarm of men is left only a fall of bright hair.

A fetish of men, and the hive’s velvet girls

praised and cut low,

praised and cut low.

Brings the two queens, man after man, how Sydelle’s teeth grow like stakes.

The velvet girls are not velvet. They are dressed in the vomit of their hivemaster. Washing her porcelain face with a cloth, learning her how she fears to be learned, leaving her naked eyelashes the color of wheat and her long, bleeding nose to snort up the constellations.

It should’ve been time to sleep, but we were up screaming, or we were up cleaning someone off, or fucking half-heartedly because we only wanted to fuck the idea of fucking each other. These are the girls dressed in velvet, but they are not velvet girls. Are we, Luciana? Are we the girls dressed in velvet? Luciana, what have we become in the land of destruction.

 

LUCIANA (LISA)

Sydelle took down her slip, smoothed her tits out over the come-apart duvet. A man named Gael and me in her bed, in her bed of filth, slop yellow, dead skin, and wax, and bodies sewn in.

And the rain. It fell a summer thing. That night, Gael slept near me not Sydele. He was all tuxedo jacket, cheap fabric and red pocket square. He spoke of and with absolute disarray, the abandon of language, a fuck and a cunt, and that handsome Mediterranean dirge. He was dark and aureate; with him you could throw yourself out of the window, see how far you could fly. I shouldn’t tell this story. He is my collateral of it all; and I am the collateral of it. Meaning the hive wedged itself between the thing of us. I could have been his lover, but. A sadness that the hive could not snuff.

He went to touch my breast but I said I would prefer he do that in character.

 


Diorama: Lisa Marie Basile & Alyssa Morhardt-Goldstein


Luna Luna Magazine: Alyssa Morhardt-Goldstein, Lisa Marie Basile, Lynsey G


Meet the Editor-in-Chief: Lisa Marie Basile

 

 

_______________

 

‘Raised in the redwood forests of Northern California, Eric Walker turned up in San Francisco at the age of 15, his poetic identity very much intact. He believed he was the reincarnation of Arthur Rimbaud—hard to deny when confronted with the astonishing flow of words and images, not to mention his stunning physical beauty. He took prodigious amounts of psychedelics and otherwise seemed to live on coffee and cigarettes. He was immediately taken in by the community of poets, including Philip Lamantia, Kirby Doyle, Sarah Menefee, Howard Hart, and Tisa Walden (who published three of Eric’s chapbooks in her Deep Forest press, his only published books). Of all the North Beach poets it was the gentle surrealism of Bob Kaufman and his deep engagement with blues and jazz that most influenced Walker’s writing. In classic guru-devotee fashion Eric often slept on Bob’s floor. Signs of mental instability became increasingly common, and the Rimbaud/Verlaine analogy was carried a bit far when Walker threatened an elder poet with a pistol and had to be disarmed. He decamped to Berkeley, sleeping on streets and rooftops. He occasionally returned home to recuperate, and for a time posed as a student at UC Santa Cruz, squatting in dorms and auditing classes, notably with the renowned William Everson (Brother Antoninus). He loved the music of Bob Dylan and borrowed much from both his look and his verse.

‘Cruel and dangerous confrontations with the law (shoplifting, vagrancy) and the mental health establishment (incarcerations, medication) inspired many remarkably cogent manifestos from this period where he explores the dynamics of debt, war, media propaganda, and government control—particularly as it bears upon the powerless and vulnerable, and the artists and dreamers. His final years were spent in institutions and halfway houses. On March 13, 1994 Eric was found hanged in his cell at the Humboldt County Jail, aged 29. (He was the third inmate to die there under suspicious circumstances, and eventually a wrongful death verdict was confirmed.) His work fell into obscurity for the next two decades, remembered only by those who knew him, many of whom are now themselves passed on. Eric always had the kind support of his mother, Diane Murray, who preserved his works and eventually donated them to the Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley, a few blocks away from the streets where he lived most of his short life.’ — Raymond Foye

 

ERIC WALKER (1964 – 1994)
The Fall of Euphorian, The Wrongful Death of Eric Walker.
Walking With Eric: A memoir of Eric Walker by Neeli Cherkovski
Raymond Foye Site
Buy ‘Selected Poems’

 

Eric Walker w/ Raymond Foye, editor Selected Poems
Raymond Foye Books

‘The brief life of Eric Walker (1964-1994) was also a remarkably productive one. He was a close friend and a peer to many of the important poets of San Francisco and Berkeley in his day: Bob Kaufman, Philip Lamantia, Tisa Walden, Howard Hart, Kirby Doyle, Neeli Cherkovski, Julia Vinograd, and many others. This is the first major collection of his work.’ — Raymond Foye Books

 

Excerpt

Aaron

From where do you go inside the intrinsic need

to be free; I call you on the phone, mathematician

and eccentric counselor, there you sit in your

magic chair, turning electric on sugar, high from

the debt of solitude, you owe money to everybody,

the sky falls into your crashing and manic motor,

your cars have stopped working, your eyes are troubled

by the semblance of charisma and cash crashes into

the nude asylum of memory; yesterday Arithmetic, Aaron

you have stewed from the bastion of perfect cigars,

contraband and stealthy, you say you like the image

of your blue-overcoat, your singed brows end in an

avalanche of hidden motives, your redwood vacation

in Mecca’s mean tide, your lovers complain of your

musical notations, your book writing itself into a fix,

you the teacher who went astray, picking the challenge

of the younger generation, we wept to Dylan tunes in

your green monastery, and all night binges and deep as

the pink dawn awakened the monks in us, you wondering

if decadence has a ceiling, and idea passed from the veins

of putrid dreams of the erotic candles planted beneath

the numbered corners of a room; a place where we wanted

nothing but the blind charms of suicidal mirrors,

where walking one night on the Boardwalk you cried “Eric,

God is here with me!” as you pulled out of your empty pockets

twenty hundred dollars, you slept in the polluted stream

of empty wallets, crashing on the quarter-slot of some

video game, dancing to the pool stick of your hungry country

music of two-timing lovers complaining of vintage

meals had in small cafes of flesh and sloppy joes;

dancing to the teeth of soundless feet of slipping

jet planes, you the Spanish master forgoes his Mexican

vacation for a lady of sleeping internship, a marriage

of hell and heaven, in the fury of the master’s hand,

I have seen you counting the stars, excellent Mephisto

tempting me with rare verbs, running on silence from

the beginning, selling Masters of War in hostile parking-

lots of the Hyatt Hotel, singing to the provocative dreamers

of a Poet’s lingering realism, incognito in the showers

of the poor, fastened like acne to your belt of mammon,

hurt by the first Spring Dance of a jealous and angry

husband, belittled by the flesh of a dancing gypsy,

you the hungry Captain Crunch fanatic flunks disco

and tries to pull his leather back from the grim and distant

childhood of a Bank Robbery from which you and the FBI did

a tango of mean and tired license plates, you switched your

clever game into a hidden bucket of white stars, forth coming

a bandage for your left eye firm and tight as a scared porcupine,

a simple half, cut the branch of Apollo that once straight

and merry grew half the size of Faustus’s poor fingers,

dragged down into the Sun’s silent pit, now you begin

to trade your heroes for ghosts, do not translate this into

the mindless chess of visage from which the blowing tires

of yesterday are remobilized into a VW van that cries a

nameless burial and encounters again the smog of the earth,

paid and simple IRS attached receipts, and pursued Bankruptcy

from which our united motto is “Do not go that way! Or Become

the beaten Master of Mime and Games of Chance Statistics”

and remember Robin Hood and the Jealous Monk bumming cigarettes

from the blond hotel of Mercy, where no sisters bring forth

their hungry cappuccinos but only Heaven and God can tax

the rich with fragrant strawberry pancakes paid for on

plastic rosaries, you the sniper in alleyways and on rooftops

with two bullets for God’s angry winos, a girl dead in

Telegraph avenue, stretched corpse and you and your hunger

and fascination, found in East of Eden’s remarkable pictures

the silent type that says nothing but mountains of razorblades

gather in his bathtub, and until you that you say nothing

rob blind the toilet of birth, and ink quills of séance

return to the Wicci Boards golden remains, after the fire

drill and Frankee Lee’s last gasp of motor-works inside

the trash of VW memory, you sat like and old Lear inside

it drummed up with your fingers on the glue of is melting

engine, a last goodbye to the holding stocks of yesterday’s

glorious retreat.

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Keatonado, Hey. Favorite metro stop? Huh. I do like the ones that are in the ‘mountainous’ part of Paris where the trains run very deep and there are long escalators to get down to the trains or back up to surface. So ‘Pyrenees’ or ‘Jourdain’, I guess. Yours? Thanks about my ghosts. I like them even though I don’t believe in them. Maybe that’s the key. I saw one when I was a young teen, as I’ve probably said, in my house, but I’m pretty sure I was just really stoned because I was definitely really stoned. That sounds fairly crazy-making, yes. ** David Ehrenstein, Thanks. I saw that about that Sontag book. Curious. ** Bill, Hi, Bill. Were you in SF when Kiki existed? I can’t remember how long you’ve lived there. It was a sweetie. Oh, thank you for the dead links alert. I’ll fix the one and see if here’s a new alternate for the other. Happy … what is today … Wednesday! ** Brendan, Hi, B. Thanks, man, and, yes, losing Kevin is hell. I’ll be writing to you shortly. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. Normally it takes a lot for me to not want amusement parks to be built, but, given the spot and its way inappropriateness, and, most of all, the fact that it was just going to be a pretty blah looking indoor water park, I say congratulations to the project killers! ** Daniel, Hi, Daniel! Always a true and super treat! You’re coming to Paris? Oh, things to do. Okay, I’ll write to you. What kinds of things? Yeah, ‘Crowd’ is so sold out that I was only given a ticket for one night. If a free ticket comes up, I’ll try to grab it for you. We should meet and have a coffee or something if you feel like it. I’ll be around. ** Steve Erickson, Hi. Oh, okay, interesting. I never saw the Bonello, so I don’t know, and we all know things flop that shouldn’t. Oh, boy, cataracts. I’ve had a few friends have to deal with those. It’s fixable but not much fun. Anyway, glad it’s a ways off, and it’ll be fine once the time comes, just annoying. ** KK, Hi, man! My pleasure, obviously, on the new SCAB. It’s great, and I liked your piece a lot. Cool about the new thing on Holler Presents. Everyone, KK, who is better known everywhere but here as the fine writer Kyle Kirshbom, has a new short fiction thing up on Scott McClanahan’s cool site Holler Presents, and you can read it, and, needless to say, you oughta. ‘Drop Edge of Yonder’ is so great, right? I love that book. His prose is so killer. I’ll see if I can see the Ken Burns thing over here. I’ve only heard the advance track from the new Yves Tumor, but I’ll get that LP in heartbeat. He’s amazing. Thanks. Excited to get to your mss. and my eyes are peeled for the first opportunity. I don’t mind about the borrowing. The title is borrowed from a German film of the same name, so … Still waiting on my reader. Painful. Yes, I’m still vegan. Oh, it feels great. Going vegan gives (me at least) such a great, lowkey general energy boost. Well, are you vegetarian? I’ve been one since I was 16, and going from vegetarian to vegan mostly just means cutting dairy, and losing dairy ups the energy. I don’t know. Have a swell day. ** Okay. Today I share four books I recently read/loved with you. Check them out and see if any of them seem to suit your fancy. See you tomorrow.

Kevin Killian presents …. Kiki Gallery: A Year or Two of Crazy Art Making *

* (restored)
—-

 

Dear Dennis, as you know I’ve been working for a long time on an exhibition here in San Francisco that will bring back Kiki Gallery for six weeks this summer at Ratio 3, deep in the Mission District and oddly enough right around the corner from the original Kiki. The young artist Colter Jacobsen has been my co-curator for this show, and we have been well advised by Ratio 3’s director Chris Perez, who gave us the green light a year ago and who has been patient, helpful and generous for months. Our show is called “Kiki: The Proof is in the Pudding,” and it opened June 27, to run through August 2, and seeing that you can’t be here, I’m sending you some bits and pieces of it through e-mail for your wonderful blog. Most of your readers will have never heard of Kiki, nor of its founder, the late Rick Jacobsen (1961-1997), so I thought to introduce the show by way of a memoir — unpublished and unfinished — which I’ve been writing for some years. The show includes nearly two dozen artists who showed at Kiki and we have scrounged the world for the original artworks that once hung on its walls. Even though the gallery lasted for only 18 months, it turned into something of a legend, perhaps because so many of the artists involved went on to fame elsewhere. And also just because it was so amateur and contingent and makeshift I guess, in that respect very representative of the funk-junk aesthetic often associated with California art. Thanks, Dennis, for giving me and Colter permission to use the essay on Yoko Ono which you wrote for Kiki’s final show, “This Is Not Her,” organized by Rick Jacobsen and Wayne Smith, and of course for opening your blog to me and to Kiki today. If any of your readers will be here in San Francisco this summer I hope they can come down to Ratio 3 and take a look. Love from, Kevin K.

 

This is what you’d see when you come into Ratio 3 
(calligraphy by Colter Jacobsen)

 

Colter Jacobsen (my co curator) and Scott Hewicker, artist

 

Portrait of Rick (2008) by Keith Mayerson, 
courtesy Derek Eller Gallery

 

That afternoon in 1993, when I left John Ryan’s apartment on 14th Street, my head was spinning. In the 1950s, John Allen Ryan had been cute in a supercharged, street boy sort of way, kind of a Pete Wentz look I guess—it was all years before I was introduced to him, but I knew he had been Jack Spicer’s student at the Art Institute here in San Francisco, had slept with him (or something), become his confidant, had the sex Spicer was afraid of, and eventually became one of the “6” in the “6” Gallery, the legendary artist-run space Spicer founded with five former students in 1954. When I was writing the life of Spicer (with Lew Ellingham) Ryan was one of my key witnesses—a living link to Jack Spicer’s most vital period—and one who knew him in many different contexts, as a teacher, a “boyfriend,” a fellow poet, an artist, a collaborator. Yet each of my visits to John Allen Ryan, who lived only 3 or 4 blocks away from me, left me walking home with a headache, in part because he was dying, in part because of the difficulty of his character. And yet even the defects in his character—as I saw them—seemed inextricably tied to his dying. If I had known him at some earlier time would I have seen the same sunny, angelic, sexy man so many had told me about? Now Ryan had AIDS and he was experimenting with his meds, and he used his diagnosis as a release from the 12 step programs his friends and family might have preferred to see him on. Plus drunk, he felt comfortable enough to share with me his memories of lusting after children, and I wasn’t comfortable with that myself, yet I felt constrained around him, like I had to pretend not to be revolted. He had basically stopped writing poetry and started writing—I was going to say “child porn,” but it wasn’t quite that—at some hazy time long before we had met. Handwritten stories about adorable boys of 7 or 8. When you visited his apartment piles of ancient piles of newspapers climbed the corners of his rooms, stacked up against his walls, maybe chest-high. It wasn’t exactly dangerous, but it did make one want never to save another newspaper oneself. And laid in among these crumpled papers were original drawings by Jess, handwritten poems by Spicer, unique photos of Kerouac—all these artists and writers he had known in his youth (he had been the boyfriend of Ginsberg as well). In effect, he was out of control, and I began wondering if anything he told me could be trusted, for his mind wandered from here to there and back at the drop of a hat. I liked him, but I didn’t like him wanting me to match him drink for drink, and I didn’t like myself leading him on, as it were, for the sake of his memories of a man who had died back in 1965.
—-To clear my head I padded a few doors up towards Guerrero to the storefront where Rick Jacobsen was putting up his new gallery. The door was open, so I poked my head inside. “Hello!” I hollered.
—-Maybe when I look back on my life and youngsters asked me what I did with it, I’ll be able to nod sagely and say that I was in on three very different movements that happened here in San Francisco. I was part of the Poets Theater, I was one of the original “New Narrative” writers in the 1980s and then, in the 1990s, I hung out at Kiki—the short-lived art gallery that ran for only eighteen months maybe. Of course there’s plenty of time left for me to add a fourth or even fifth thing to my resume but as of now (2008) those are basically what I’ll remember as my most intense intersections with art. “Hello?” I called out, through the open door. The room in which my voice echoed around was small, more of a lobby than an actual room, and I assumed that this would be the anteroom and the new planned gallery would begin deeper away from the frontage. Then Rick’s head appeared from the hallway. “Hello, my friend,” he said. “This is it. This is going to be Kiki.”
—-We’ve all heard the tall tales about AIDS, how when people came down with the virus and felt that they faced imminent death, they turned themselves into urban legends of capitalism and its discontents. We’ve heard the stories about gay men scoring zillions of American Express cards and maxxing them out in final shopping sprees. Rick Jacobsen considered it, but instead he quit his job to do something in his last days, something he really loved. In this case, he would open a gallery and run it exactly as he pleased. I’ve got some photos of Rick Jacobsen, and the Kiki archives, housed close by my apartment at Special Collections at the main San Francisco library at Civic Center, have plenty more, so I should be able to conjure him up for you physically, for he was awfully vivid. If this were a movie, Rick would play the part of the sidekick, the Kato type, the Ron Weasley. Or he might be Jimmy Olsen in the Superman comics, strawberry blonde hair cropped short, bright blue eyes, cyan really, as though peeled from a 40s comic strip. He was quick to grin, to see the silly side of life, so sometimes he seemed goofier than he was, or than he felt perhaps. Later, after Rick’s death, when I got into Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I saw something of Rick in Xander Harris, his wisecracks, his longing for hope, his wry grin, go-for-broke stance. Inside Kiki the walls were generally white, and there was so little wall space that Rick kept the same gallon of paint for several shows, re-painting after each one was taken down. You could do the whole place in about fifteen minutes, unless you were high, which cramped your speed but made it more fun in a certain sense. Occasionally there would be a show which demanded chocolate walls, or green walls—Cathie Opie’s show was hung on walls the burnt color of terra cotta flower pots. His first show, Rick said, was going to be all about shit. It was going to be called “Caca at Kiki.” And the “at” would be replaced by a circa sign, like an e-mail address. There was something of the provocateur about Rick, that’s a given. Like the UK impresario Malcolm McLaren, he had a paradoxical combination of nervous energy and a still core of Buddhist calm. Indeed McLaren had been one of Rick’s inspirations. McLaren called the shop that he and Vivienne Westwood opened, in London’s Kings Road, “Let It Rock,” and linked it to an international Situationalist movement in which a cat might look at a king, the littlest person might try something, and social change would result. I don’t know if Rick knew his Paris 1968 as well as Greil Marcus, but he was instinctively drawn to artists on the outer edge of expression, and of course he was thoroughly informed by ACT UP politics and the courageous, sometimes vulgar ethos of the movement.

 

Brett Reichman, “Time Is/Time Was” (diptych), 1993

 

Four pictures from “Pinocchio the Big Fag” 

(1993) by Keith Mayerson

Kota Ezawa, “Rick and Karla” (2008 lightbox 
drawing from 1996 photo)

 

Nayland Blake, “Negative Bunny” video; Michelle 
Rollman, Red Wagon piece

 

Cliff Hengst, screen of famous designers

 

—-Indeed he came to art, or to dealing, through his activism, through his work raising money for ACT UP San Francisco. New York had had those fabled art auctions which would raise one million dollars in a single evening at Paula Cooper Gallery, beginning in 1989, and in San Francisco Rick would produce smaller versions of these benefits. I remember going to one at Rex Ray’s studio when it used to be on 11th Street in the nightclub district, above the DNA Lounge, and seeing Rick there, posing in front of some little Ross Bleckner etching that the glamorous New York-based painter, then the veritable king of gay art, had donated to the cause. Rick was all beaming and Bleckner’s mysterious, biomorphic blobs loomed like underwater creatures—like T cells, Rick said. I don’t know how much money the auction made, but Rick had found his métier.
—-When I first knew him, he dressed with casual rigor in ACT UP fashions, a precise range of styles now somewhat difficult to reconstruct. Doc Martens, white T-shirts with Helvetica logos, what we might now call cargo shorts except somewhat briefer, but with plenty of pockets, bandannas, red suspenders, overalls. Dodie points out, even if they paid a lot for the clothes they looked like ordinary clothes. Fashion was so extravagant in 1990 that the ACT UP look, as we called it, seemed stripped down, minimalist, egalitarian. The Reagan-Bush years were all about Marie Antoinette-like spectacles of excess—the Miami Vice construction of whiteness, the Christian LaCroix pouffe. Was the look of ACT UP perhaps a worker’s look? A fighter’s look. It owed something to skinhead fashion, stripped down bare bones of clothes, with nothing extraneous for the cops to hold onto you with, and heavy shoes for kicking back. And it was made for mass reception. As Douglas Crimp said, “The fact that everybody would be wearing identical shirts made ACT UP look incredibly well organized.” Thus when the designer of the poster for our current show used as the poster image an old photo of Rick posing in front of Kiki, she sent it my way for approval, and I wrinkled my brow, thinking it didn’t look right: it was because she had whitened out Rick’s waistline, and got rid of the waistband of his underwear that poked out from top of his baggy jeans, and I insisted she put those jockey shorts back because that was the style, that was the key—you can see I got fairly imaginative, with the trifles and trinkets that are all that are left to me.
—-And Kiki’s inaugural show was going to be about shit not just to outrage but because, Rick said, the AIDS crisis had made a whole generation of gay men and their friends all too familiar with what was formerly a taboo substance, but now we all watched, “read” really, our own shit the way an earlier generation of soothsayers had divined the future from bones shaken out of a cup, or the lines in one’s palm. It was in the zeitgeist: the provinces of our body, as Auden wrote, had revolted. Rick and I stood on the curb and surveyed his gallery. A large square window on the street let in spring sunlight, but it was barred with a Byzantine cluster of molded iron rods, so the sun cast strange shadows on the painted wooden floor. From the curb you could barely see in, but if you squinted you could make out the room’s essential features. Underneath the window, close to the weeds that sprouted between sidewalk panels of concrete, was the distinctive and lovely touch of a Delft blue ornamental tile in checkerboard squares.
—-Step inside the door, there was the little room that was, comically, the main room of the gallery. A loft platform was built into a corner of the room, and a wooden ladder nailed into the wall to access it—an ungainly feature that precluded hanging anything large on either of the walls that abutted it, but one that Rick made the best possible use of in other aspects: why, he had rented out this loft bed for someone to sleep there, which brought in some added monthly income, and also I imagine cut down on security costs.
—-“You know Mark Ewert,” Rick said. “Why, you introduced me to him. He’s my star boarder!” Mark had abandoned a stormy relationship with LA-based poet and novelist Dennis Cooper — you, Dennis! — , and we had introduced him to many of the denizens of the local art world in San Francisco. The young ones especially, for Mark who had spent many of his teenage years trolling for older men like Ginsberg and Burroughs, had now decided to turn over a new leaf and try out guys his own age. Mark and I were writing novel together — Secret Garden, the classic Frances Hodgson Burnett story brought up to date with surf culture, AIDS activism, and some seriously kinky sex play — and it was nice to have him nearby.
—-“I’m sure he’ll have fun,” I hazarded, though it would not do for me, I was forty, far too old to climb a pirate style ladder of planks to reach my bed, or to clear out whenever there was activity in the gallery below, as Rick required of Mark—scat, like a cat, into the streets.
—-“We’ll run all kinds of events here,” Rick said. “I want lectures and readings and talks and films and bands. I want you to put on your plays here, Kevin. I sort of want it to be everyone’s clubhouse, a place to draw people in and then hit them over the head with what’s new. What’s new, pussycat? Remember that film, my friend, with Peter Sellers? Peter O’Toole? Crazy!” The rooms of the gallery were so small that if a reading were held, and eight people showed, it would seem like an enormous crowd. We were to stage plays for Rick, who would heroically jam three rows of six folding chairs into the space underneath the loft bed, then seat three or four people up in the bed, and our stage would be among the feet of the people in the front row, and our backs would be brushing the curtained window onto 14th street. Players would make their exits and entrances from the one door, the front door of the gallery; I remember seeing them crouching listening for dear life at the keyhole, desperate to hear the cues within over the vibrant Mission street life outside. And often they missed their cues and the stage manager would have to run over and open the door himself and summon whoever it was to come inside and start speaking immediately. The first play I did there was “Life after Prince,” set in an unemployment office slash courtroom in which a presiding judge (Wayne Smith) heard evidence from all the protégés Prince had signed up, made a few quasi-hit singles for, then dropped. One by one they crowded the courtroom — Wendy and Lisa, Apollonia, Kim Basinger, Vanity, Sinead O’Connor and Sheena Easton. Nayland played Vanity and Apollonia, changing his character by flipping over a sandwich board on his chest. I was the clerk, trying to calm down the apoplectic judge. And Stephanie Cannizzo, Larry Rinder’s secretary at the Matrix Program at UC Berkeley’s Art Museum, played herself, Prince’s biggest fan and the chief witness in his defense.

STEPHANIE CANNIZZO. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m still afraid you might have gotten a wrong impression about Prince—I mean, Victor. He’s really special. When you listen to one of his songs, you’ll know. He’s no clown, he’s one of the top creators of all time. He was born under a magic star, under a dark sky, and the whole world trembled that night, and ever since his first record, I’ve been telling everyone I know, how great he is. Maybe he’s mistreated these women, I don’t know, but everyone makes mistakes. He’s sensitive and proud—I admire that. I like everything about him—almost. Give him another chance, I know you’ll say, he’s really great. Thank you and—good night.

—-I went back to John Ryan’s apartment a few doors down, possessed by an enormous idea. Really I should have been an event planner. John Ryan had been one of the founders of the 6 Gallery — the alternative San Francisco art space — wouldn’t it be cool if he came by, met Rick, and I don’t know, made some gesture of passing on the torch as it were? Acknowledging, you are doing what we did back then, you are doing the thing that I’ve been living on all these decades past? John seemed interested for a few minutes, then started to fret about something; soon his attention was entirely elsewhere. He had translated the entire Lord of the Rings saga into Elvish, and had recited it into a series of footwide tapes big as dinner plates. Impressive, and a true labor of love, but boring after a few minutes of close listening. I’d sit there, growing skeptical, wondering how would you know if this was real Elvish or him just uttering any old glottal, lip smacking syllables with musical intonations? He and Jack Spicer taught each other Martian, and when I asked him to favor me with some Martian, he gave me Spicer’s lines, from his Imaginary Elegies, about the flirty boy in the Berkeley gay bar,

When I praise the sun or any bronze god derived from it
Don’t think I wouldn’t rather praise the very tall blond boy
Who ate all of my potato-chips at the Red Lizard.
It’s just that I won’t see him when I open my eyes
And I will see the sun.
Things like the sun are always there when the eyes are open
Insistent as breath.

But in Martian the verse sounded suspiciously Elfin, and when he drank it just went on and on until even his cats got bored and left us for the kitchen. “Ae ú-esteliach nad, estelio han, estelio ammen.” “So beautiful,” I murmured. “Now what do you say we go to Kiki and I’ll show you what Rick is doing with the space.”

 

Jim Winters, silkscreen on canvas, “Parakeet Attack”

 

Mark Gonzalez drawing courtesy of Nayland Blake

 

Jerome Caja by Catherine Opie (from Portraits 
series, 1993)

 

“Hunt” by D-L Alvarez, 2008 reconstruction of damaged 
1993 original which was D-L’s first “paint by 
numbers” piece exhibited

 

Here’s a detail image of “Hunt” so the key 
is more visible

 

I mustn’t forget to tell you about Red Dora’s Bearded Lady, the café that lay adjacent to Kiki so that their doors opened into each other. Founded by the artists Harriet (now Harry) Dodge, and Silas “Flipper” Howard from the band Tribe 8, Red Dora’s was a women’s tearoom and “truckstop” as Dodge used to say, with a minimal menu but the epicenter of Mission lesbian life in those days. The café and the gallery shared a common garden patio in the back, usually filled with dogs, nearby the bathroom. Coming out into the sunny backyard after penetrating the incredibly narrow, dim hallway of either Kiki or Red Dora’s one found it perhaps more charming than it actually was. The cartoonist and writer Kris Kovick ran a monthly reading series there, a lot of spoken word, slam poetry, much of it comic in nature, always a vibrant mix of writing and theater. Jenni Olson, the San Francisco filmmaker and activist, laughed when she remembered what an unlikely place it was—14th Street, seedy as all get out—and then you had Red Dora’s and Kiki bunched together like defiant outposts of the avant-garde. “I remember the opening of Cathie Opie’s show at Kiki,” she recalled, “with that giant, life-sized picture of Justin Bond, and the smaller photos of LA trannies like ‘Chicken’ and ‘Steak,’ with Opie’s trademark rich colors and backdrops, and I remember thinking how thrilling it was that finally, for lesbians, we were finally chic—not just tolerated or excused, but everyone wanted to be us! It was transitory, that high, but you can’t imagine how that felt.”
—-I remember seeing Justin Bond, of the cult stage duo “Kiki and Herb,” walking everywhere in San Francisco, often down 18th Street from the Castro to the Mission, his long blond hair sometimes tied primly behind him, other times, like Melina Mercouri, he let the hair blow about his face as though to suggest passionate fires banked within. His extraordinary looks stopped traffic in the street. Cars would jam on their brakes. Opie photographed him looking stunning and androgynous in violet, his eyes boring holes through the viewer, holes of ravaged glamour remarkable in one who, viewed from another angle, was so young and fresh.
—-“Which came first,” I asked him recently, “did you become Kiki or did Rick call his space Kiki first?”
—-“I’ve often thought about that,” he replied. “You know I was at the opening. You’d think I would recall.” Justin had come across the term “Ki-Ki,” in Leslie Feinberg’s memoir-novel Stone Butch Blues (1993), a lesbian category for one who presents herself as neither butch nor femme. “But it’s pronounced “Ky-Ky,” to rhyme with ‘My, My.’ I liked that; I felt like that, that I wasn’t butch nor was I femme. And there was Kiki of Montparnasse, the artists’ favorite model and rather a disgrace in 1920s Paris. I always teased Rick for copying me, but to tell you the truth, it might have been the other way around—though I don’t think so!”
—-In the summer of 1993 Kiki opened, and it was a mess—but an inspired one, with the sorts of work on the walls that had you rubbing your eyes, “Is this art?” People came in droves, maybe the inner core of hipsters at first, but then intrepid collectors and then, drawn by the buzz like bees at a hive, came the ordinary people I guess, those who didn’t know much about art but knew when something was fun. Some got converted, some became artists themselves. The very messiness of Rick’s presentation and the tiny size of the space sometimes made you feel you were in an old fashioned phone booth with graffiti edged into it from top to bottom. Rick’s shows were really out there; after the “Caca” one, there was a “Carcass” show, truly gross, in which all the art works had been made from dead animals. There was a Bong show of artist’s bongs—the only rule was, they all had to actually be workable. At that show, the artists brought the work in so late there was no time to label anything, and everyone was so high that no one could remember who had done which piece. I don’t remember how Rick sorted it all out, or if he cared to. There were a number of one or two person shows: Catherine Opie showed with Jerome Caja, the San Francisco drag activist who did many of his/her paintings using store bought makeup—nail polish, liquid eyeliner, glitter—on canvases retrieved from dumpsters. Jerome greeted his fans from a claw-footed bathtub; it was a gesture out of an earlier age, the 1920s, the era of Baroness Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven. Presumably the Baroness would not have signed my autograph book, as Jerome, did, “Hi Kevin, Fuck You.” Dozens of Jerome’s little pictures dotted the walls, and more were piled in the shed in case any were bought. Soon as one was snapped up, Rick slapped up another. They came on any flat surface Jerome could find—not only canvas but hubcaps, ashtrays, pizza boxes, shingles. D-L Alvarez had a show, “Night of the Hunter,” that doubled up with Chris Johanson’s “Fantasy Island.” The public library, where Wayne donated many of the Kiki materials after Rick’s death, has a whole slew of little Johanson drawings, at least a dozen, all more or less the same, one stab after another for an image for the “Fantasy Island” invitation, all of them variations on his signature image of an anonymous schlub lying (dead? passed out? asleep) on a cruel city street.
—-It was an age of aggression, of survival—an agonistic age—with a premium on raw, unfiltered message. Even artists with existing gallery connections and representation found Kiki a place to express other sides of their talents, or to give way to a churning place of sensation where talent was not the only value. Sometimes even the most Apollonian of us wanted a place to feel as Dionysus felt. Brett Reichman was my favorite painter then, and his exquisitely wrought canvases of toys and dolls in extremis, in bold colors and delicate shadows, seemed superhumanly rendered, almost as though a god had made them.
—-“All my work from that timeframe,” Brett told me recently, “was addressing AIDS, death, beauty, metaphor, identity. While my work was moving toward a more refined facility and clearly on the fringes of the KIKI aesthetic, it was nonetheless a layered process of control and the lack thereof.” His work went through an explosive stage during the Kiki period, incorporating “major” dripping and splattering of paint. “Yeah, what was that all about?” I asked. “I was thinking of the paint metaphorically, as crying off the surface,” said Brett. Paint as tears: I’ve been thinking about how much fun we had at the gallery but it comes back and hits me from time to time now, how awful things were and how depressed we were at bottom. We had to make up fun since there wasn’t any going on in “reality.”
—-As the sculptor Vince Fecteau remembered it, Kiki was a process for Rick, and not entirely a pleasant one. Rick Jacobsen went into Kiki all fired up and politicized, but of necessity he had to become part of the very art world he abhorred. You couldn’t change something except by doing it from inside, but being inside literally weakened Rick. I asked Vince what it was about Kiki that made it so vibrant. Nayland’s patronage helped — Nayland Blake, the super success story among San Francisco artists of the day. He had gone from hanging his work on the walls of Just Desserts on the waterfront, to showing at Mary Boone and Matthew Marks — and yet he remained dedicated to promoting the local, the artists or would-be artists on our block. Nayland had an intense respect for writers, which might have influenced Rick to encourage writers to become part of his gallery–I didn’t think of this till just last month, that it was probably Nayland’s say-so that got me past the velvet rope and into the art world, and only because I was a writer, someone who knew the writers he admired, like Kathy Acker or Robert Glück.
—-And soon enough they were inside too. Kathy never wrote anything or showed anything at Kiki, but leafing through Rick’s reservation book I see her name again and again at events. As I think of it more and more I realize the privileged place writers had at Kiki, for it wasn’t only Kathy or Bob who exercised influence on what artists got shown there, but Dennis too, like some sweet eminence grise, must have put in a word for Keith Mayerson (with whom he was to collaborate on the graphic novel of Horror Hospital Unplugged), and for Frances Stark and Richard Hawkins as well — two Los Angeles artists who were among his special enthusiasms (I had almost said protégés) at the time, all of whom showed at Kiki. I wonder also if the time wasn’t right for a — well, if not a writer-run space, but a space that worked with writing. So many of the artists who interested us most were writing all up and down their pictures and sculptures, so many in fact, that before long they had to invent a special word for this practice, the ungainly “image-text.” “Oh, so you do image-text?” one would inquire politely, but rather on rote, the way one might ask, “Oh, and you breathe?”
—-In San Francisco, curator and critic Maria Porges had organized a big Artspace show in 1989 examining this development, calling it “The New Narratology,” but think of Barbara Kruger, Lawrence Weiner, Cy Twombly, Gran Fury’s “Silence = Death” stickers, and then in 1993 it was all about Raymond Pettibon on the one hand and Sophie Calle on the other — captions versus narration, but both of them heavily dependent on the word.
—-Finally, the time was right for a gallery like Kiki because of the collapse of the art market, which would come back stronger than ever, of course, but which then was pretty bleak after the go-go eighties. Indeed the moment was unique: was there ever another time when a blue-chip gallerist like Shaun Caley of Regen Projects would actively collaborate with a hole in the wall fly-by-night like Kiki? You had to admire her audacity, sending piece after piece by Catherine Opie down to a “gallery” so resolutely noncommercial it operated more like a flea market, but Shaun came through, perhaps urged on by Cathie who, as it turned out, couldn’t have picked a better way to mark her conquest of underground San Francisco from top to bottom. (When Rick absolutely needed a MasterCard he had to ask Michelle Rollman, one of his artists, to lend him hers.) The market, going through one of its many corrections, opened up a loophole that Rick took full advantage of.
—-Vince’s show, his first, was a roundelay of cunning, preposterous cut-out heads of cats from advertisements, calendars, magazines — my God, where weren’t there cats, and he called it “Ben,” after the film about the boy who loved rats, and the Michael Jackson-warbled theme song. He glued together cat-heads into pyramidal stacks we called, what else, “cat stacks,” that wobbled down the wall in waves of cuteness like cute furry waterfalls. He painted a mouse hole onto the baseboard of the gallery, a mouse could look out in perfect fear of all those cute cats towering above him. Years later we found a price sheet for the show and when Vince scanned it, his face went white with shock and pleasure. “So cheap!” he kept saying, waving his face with a quieting hand. “Why 80 dollars — why not at least a good, round, one hundred!” We all wish we could have thought ahead and seen into the future, and then we might have scrambled to raise that $1,500 to buy that giant Opie photo — or saved up $100 to buy one of Chris Johanson’s large paintings on discarded, “recycled” wood or wood substitute. We’d all be happily well off, perhaps, but that would have made us speculators, right, and besides, the truth is that none of us really had $1,500, or even $100 to throw around without thinking. If it was a clubhouse, Kiki was the clubhouse for the poor boys, and the rich boys were hanging around Fraenkel or Berggruen or Anglim. In the wake of the dot.com crash there wasn’t even any work in San Francisco, it was pretty insane.

 

Rex Ray, 1994 Polaroid version of “Season of Glass” 
LP by Yoko Ono (note ketchup on glasses and faked 
up NY skyline)

 

Michelle Rollman, “Red Rabbit” mounted high 
on gallery wall

 

Scott Hewicker, “Food Chain,” Mark Gonzalez 
drawing, and (at baseboard) Vincent Fecteau, 
“Chorus #2”

 

“Pistachio Nuts on Plaque” by Jerome Caja

 

Chris Johanson, drawing from 1994 Kiki show 
“Fantasy Island”

 

—-The projects got more and more focused, and the crowds swelled, but underneath it all Rick was feeling the strain. There was never any money and, for such a tiny space (someone compared it to a single lane at the world’s smallest bowling alley), the rent was crazy steep–$1,300, $1,400 a month, something like that. Rick operated Kiki as a Ponzi scheme in which artists who had sold work might be paid, would usually be paid, but not always in money. He persuaded Vince Fecteau to take it out in work by another artist, Jim Winters. “Back then I needed money more than I needed a painting by Jim Winters,” Vince said, “but that’s what I wound up with.” The last show was a tribute to Yoko Ono, organized by Rick and Wayne Smith. It was rather on the grand side—by Kiki standards—and it was only a tribute when seen from afar, for several of the artists, and quite a few of the contributors to the catalogue, expressed decidedly mixed feelings. The catalogue was called “This Is Not Her.” Yoko herself called up to murmur about how pleased she was—it was a sign of Kiki’s ineptness as a gallery that when Sean Lennon called to thank Rick for organizing this show to honor his mom, no one was answering the phone, but happily the answering machine tape was preserved, and then later, when Yoko called, her message was on the same tape. You can hear her issue a challenge to Rick, by saying, “This is her. Yoko!” That cheerful lilt. But how would he know for sure it was she? “The proof is in the pudding,” she philosophized, then like a mad etymologist asked rhetorically — what pudding? “I’m flabbergasted, delighted, and honored.” Finally she emitted a trademark scream — half warble, half death cry, left a few giggles, and hung up. (You can hear that tape in the Kiki retrospective, it plays every five minutes or so, spooking gallery goers considerably.) On the closing night Cliff Hengst and Rex Ray took to the streets and we gathered around while the two of them recreated some of Yoko’s spectacular screaming numbers from the Live Peace in Toronto era, Rex on electric guitar with the furriest feedback you’ve ever heard, Cliff playing Yoko relatively straight and with great dignity. (It was a cover of the 26 minute freakout “Cambridge 69,” from the Life with the Lions LP.) Within ninety seconds of the performance the neighbors were out on the street and within ten minutes the cops were out in full force, asking for Rick’s business license. The night was cold (it was February, 1995) and dark and filled with crazy people.
—-When Rick closed Kiki, it was abrupt and final. When the last show went down, the Bearded Lady next door expanded operations and took over both spaces, and then Kiki turned into Black and Blue Women’s Tattoo Parlor. Wayne and I wrote a great part for Rick in our play, Diamonds and Rust, and he did OK in rehearsal, but couldn’t make it to the performance (September 1995). That was when I realized how far things had gone. The protease inhibitors that were newly on the market might have saved his life, but it was too late. Rick went home to his family in Wisconsin, and died there a bit later. Again I link back to Auden:

When there are so many we shall have to mourn,
When grief has been made so public, and exposed
——-To the critique of a whole epoch,
The frailty of our conscience and anguish,

Of whom shall we speak? For every day they die
Among us, those who were doing us some good,
——-Who knew it was never enough but
Hoped to improve a little by living.

—-In my own book of poetry, Argento Series, I pictured Rick’s body in some Wisconsin glade, like the forests the young Hemingway evoked in the Nick Adams stories. And mixed in with this image, of Rick being tended to by deer and forest creatures, I recalled a strange memory, of another exhibition, at San Francisco’s Rena Bransten Gallery, in which Brett Reichman was showing his work, and at the opening Rick introduced me to the cult film star Udo Kier, then very famous from his sinister parts in My Own Private Idaho and in the video for Madonna’s “Deeper and Deeper.”

The boy, dead on the forest floor:
rough tongue of deer licking his face, salty as sugar.
Spindly legs of deer, spindly as origami:
his body, wasted and angry in death.
Who is that boy, Rick Jacobsen, why do I see his face
lying still, pale, in the forest glade?
Overhead a bland ceiling of green leaves, sun poking through
Onto the glade of black, gritty dirt, pine smell.

“Rick Jacobsen, this is Udo Kier.”
Rick Jacobsen, his red hair stained with sap and mousse.
Deer stand on spindly legs counting his freckles,
His corpse found awkward in baggy ACT UP style shorts, big shoes,
unlaced:
rich clothes fit over angry thin body,
human body now food for a forest of foragers.
Big owl in treetop high, hoots out his name, “Red boy,”
signaling four-legged predators. Red in tooth and
claw-footed they stagger like walking tables;
in silence they approach, not to honor the dead
but to shorten the world, thumping the floor
at midnight, so that by daybreak,
Jesus, you see all these deer licking his face.

Tongues pry open his pale eyelids slightly:
Rick’s blue eyes blank but filled with green sun, forest light
where Ernest Hemingway prowled these big woods
where I introduced Rick to Udo Kier
giggle
the mad giggle of Udo Kier trying to speak English at a party
at Brett Reichman’s opening at Rena Bransten gallery
and he signed my autograph book
he wrote that he loved me

Up in country outside of Wisconsin
with a big dog, the body heaves
tumbled aside by bear and game, outside of law.

His dirty face, now clean and wet, now streaked with mud;
his eyes and mouth jewels on the floor of the forest,
till, barrel first, a gun pokes between the trees

Udo’s not so bad, not a bad shot
like masters, the deer go down, one by one
like falling trees down go the deer
If I did love thee in my master’s stead
with such a gamy grin, my lips pulled back in rictus,
I would not understand it,
in my denial thou would see no sense

* The website of the exhibition has some good general installation shots.
* Also one of the artists, Karla Milosevich, took a lot of
pictures of the opening, and the dinner afterwards.

 

That’s me on Friday at the opening of the show, 
photo credit Karla Milosevich

—-

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** David Ehrenstein, Hi. Yes, very interesting, strange “career”, from John Huston to David Lynch, not bad. ** Kayton, Oh, man, taste is taste, but you’re missing out, man. I never read in the metro. I just look at people. And in France, they let you, they don’t mind. I think Freddie Krueger is coming back, but you just know they’re going to castrate the shit out of him. Zac’s and my next film, which is about a walk-through haunted house, has a ghost. A crazy one. But no sex. Well, hints. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, Ben. I, of course, intend to see the Francis Bacon show. I’ll let you know the deal once I have. ** cal, Hi, Cal. Great to see you! You good? What’s up and going on? Thanks a lot about the posts. I do my best. ** Steve Erickson, I haven’t seen the last couple of Dardennes, but the critical response to them here hasn’t been so different from yours. The Cannes recognition of the new one bewildered almost everyone. Curious, as I think I said, if ‘Zombi Child’ somehow plays better in the States than it did here. It was quite a bomb in France. Best of luck with the optometrist. ** Misanthrope, Well, thank you, sir. I think it depends re: the self-publishing. I think maybe if your orientation revolves around thinking the major presses are books’ biggest legitimising force like in the good old days and indie presses are like the major presses’ eager beavers younger siblings then self-publishing might still seem like a loser’s game, but among my … crowd, comradres, or whatever, self-publishing is completely accepted as another way to get the work out. But, yeah, if you’re hanging with people who think the quality of the writing is beside the point, that’s a world I don’t know and isn’t a world that my world has any relationship to, which is fine, the way of the world. Wow, she’s 25? That’s wild. Only three weeks ’til you hit the UK, nice. Next time you go, you might need a visa. I’m supposed to go over there to do a gig in November, but it’s kind of a wait and see as to whether I’ll be able to just pop over there or not. You already know that I highly, highly highly recommend Japan. ** Right. Today I give you the third of the four guest-posts that were made for this blog by the late and very great Kevin Killian. This one is a lively thing about the short lived but very influential and original SF gallery Kiki. Enjoy. See you tomorrow.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025 DC's

Theme by Anders NorénUp ↑