“Reading The Hearing Trumpet liberates us from the miserable reality of our days.” — Luis Buñuel

“One of the most original, joyful, satisfying and quietly visionary novels of the twentieth century.” — Ali Smith

“This book is so inspiring . . . I love its freedom, its humour and how it invents its own laws.” —Björk

“Even when the plot turns grim, the prose is jaunty, a sign of its author’s reveling in her own perverse imagination.” — Matthew Sharpe

 

While living in Mexico, removed from Andre Breton’s circle and from the turmoil of her years with Max Ernst, Leonora Carrington produced her parodic novel The Hearing Trumpet. While also addressing the archetypal representations of women within surrealism, Carrington’s targets are slightly different from and strike a more personal chord than Colquhoun’s. The novel is not a sustained parody of a specific surrealist text, but contains passages in which recognizable surrealist ideals and figures are parodied. Written in the 1950s but not published in English until 1976, The Hearing Trumpet recounts the adventures of Marian Leatherby, a 92-year-old English woman sent by her family to a Christian institution for old ladies. As the story unfolds, Marian and her fellow female residents rebel against the preaching and authority of the institution. This rebellion coincides with some major environmental disruptions that end up in a literal and symbolic de-centering of the cosmos.

The novel is quite distinctly surrealist and has been described by critics as following surrealist codes and conventions. Indeed, the novel has multiple narrators: besides Marian, no fewer than eight voices can be listed in The Hearing Trumpet. Some of them are heard via embedded narratives, letters or scrolls. This multi-vocality and the collage form it is articulated in undermine the cohesion of the narration. In addition, numerous passages in the novel depart from logic and reason. To give but a few examples, Carmella, Marian’s best friend, always devises plans devoid of any rational sense to get her out of the retirement home, such as rescuing Marian with a helicopter won in a crossword puzzle competition. The pseudo-religious teachings and recommendations of the doctor at the head of the institution are similarly absurd and irrational: the doctor, for instance, advises that Marian, on her way to higher holy planes, stop eating cauliflower.

‘Carrington pokes fun at and parodies at least two surrealist ideals of femininity that she herself incarnated during her association with the movement: the first one is that of the femme-enfant or woman child. The figure of the woman child first appeared in a surrealist context in 1927 in the ninth issue of the journal La Révolution Surréaliste, edited by André Breton. On the front cover, an illustration depicts the woman child whom Chadwick has defined as “that enchanting creature who through her youth, naiveté, and purity possesses the more direct and pure connection with her own unconscious that allows her to serve as a guide for man”. This young woman is in a way predisposed for surrealism and serves as an intermediary between the male artist and creativity. This is of course reminiscent of the personal story of Carrington, who was drawn to surrealism by Ernst when she was only nineteen years old. Carrington was not the first woman child that Ernst had discovered and fallen in love with, and she herself feared that she might not be the last.11 In the preface that he wrote for one of Carrington’s collections of short stories in 1938, Ernst declared that Carrington was his source of life, inspiration and admiration.

‘In The Hearing Trumpet, Carrington playfully transforms the figure of the woman child by distorting her characteristic features. Carrington’s approach is reminiscent of Michele Hannoosh’s take on parody. Indeed, in Parody and Decadence, Hannoosh ascribes to parody a comic dimension, whether it be playful, such as is the case here, or ridiculing, as will be shown later with the treatment reserved for André Breton in the novel. Marian, the heroine of the novel, can be linked to the archetypal figure of the woman child since she has an intimate relationship with the world of childhood. She lives in a world of fantasy where she interacts with half-wolf, half-human creatures, and her adventures are punctuated by Lewis Carroll-like riddles, the answers to which are the key to the whole story. However, Marian is 92 years old and, it is precisely her old age, not her youth and innocence, that makes her a natural surrealist. Indeed, as an elderly lady, she is often tired and oscillates between slumbering and waking states: “Sleeping and waking are not quite as distinctive as they used to be, I often mix them up”. She literally and almost accidentally lives according to surrealist principles. While André Breton theorizes and intellectualizes this female ideal, Carrington mockingly deconstructs it by reducing her creative gifts to pathological features of senility.14 She presents a degraded version of his woman child.

‘Carrington goes further in her redefinition of the image of the woman child with the motif of the bearded woman. Marian, who describes herself in the first pages of the novel as having a gallant “short grey beard which conventional people would find repulsive”, is also the bearded abbess whose painting hangs in the retirement home, and Saint Barbara, the bearded hermaphrodite Goddess of the underworld. They are one and the same person; Marian possesses a complex and multi-faceted personality. She embodies gender fluidity as well as different forms of gendered power. This motif therefore configures her as a “polymorphous composite in flux”, not a mediator or guide for any man, but a subject that discovers things for herself and continuously constructs herself. Marian, a bearded evasive crone, whom her grandson further describes as “hardly […] a human being, […] a drooling sack of decomposing flesh”, turns into a more desirable form of femininity.

‘Innocence and sexual appeal are discarded by Carrington as sources of creative transformation; madness and the archetype of the madwoman undergo a similar treatment in The Hearing Trumpet. The surrealists investigated madness, and more particularly female hysteria. In 1928, in the eleventh issue of La Révolution Surréaliste, Breton and Aragon redefined hysteria as a poetic precept: “hysteria is not a pathological phenomenon and can in every way be considered as a supreme means of expression”. This was the year André Breton published Nadja, a novel that recounts his relationship with Nadja, a disturbed woman with clairvoyant powers. The free-spirited but unpredictable woman portrayed by Breton instantly became the archetype of the madwoman for surrealism. In actual fact, their relationship was short-lived, as Breton could not cope with the realities of her life and her obsession with him. She was eventually institutionalized.’ — Tifaine Bachet

 

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Further

Leonora Carrington @ Wikipedia
The Hearing Trumpet: Surrealism, Feminism, and Old Ladies in Revolt
The Surreal Life
Surreal old people: Leonora Carrington’s The Hearing Trumpet
The Surreal Life of Leonora Carrington
The Hearing Trumpet: Leonora Carrington’s Feminist Magical Realism
‘It was three years ago that my grandfather walked onto the blade of the sword …’
‘This year is the centenary year of Leonora Carrington’s birth.’
Leonora Carrington’s Surrealist Revolution
An Annotated Hearing Trumpet
The Least-Expected Trumpet of Apocalypse
Leonora Carrington Rewrote the Surrealist Narrative for Women
‘The Hearing Trumpet is as wonderfully odd and obscure as it sounds.’
“Delicious Decay: The Laugh of the Grandmother
‘The humour is at its strongest when it mixes the exotic with the homely.’
Buy ‘The Hearing Trumpet’

 

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Extras

Interview (2010)

Leonora Carrington – Britain’s Lost Surrealist

Leonora Carrington, imaginación a galope fino

Trailer: ‘Leonora Carrington’, French documentary

 

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Pablo Weisz Carrington’s Illustrations

 

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Interview
from The Believer

 

THE BELIEVER: What are you thinking about right now?

LEONORA CARRINGTON: I don’t discuss that.

BLVR: If you are not working on anything, what occupies you?

LC: Surviving. I’m not well. I think about death a lot.

BLVR: What do you think about?

LC: Well, you become closer to death, so that really tends to dominate everything else.

BLVR: Have you reached an acceptance?

LC: No, I have not. How can one accept the totally unknown? [Agitated] We know nothing whatever about it, even if it happens to everyone, to everybody! Animals, vegetables, minerals—everything dies. How can you reconcile with something you know nothing about? Is there anything else? What do you want to know?

BLVR: I have this longing for myths, for ritual, which you yourself have explored. There is no model for the passing-down of what has been collected in the interior life, that isn’t simply the collection of biographical facts. It’s difficult, as there are no words for what I’m looking for.

LC: There are things that are not sayable. That’s why we have art.

II. CIGARETTE

LC: I’ll do it. [She lights her own cigarette.] God, I don’t know who he is. [A man walks by and appears to be landscaping in her courtyard.]

BLVR: I am working on an art project in Mexico City that’s inspired by your work. Part of our project was to try and come and meet you. You’re now the same age [ninety-two] that the heroine Marian Leatherby was in your novel The Hearing Trumpet. I am currently writing a novel with a heroine who is also ninety-two. It felt like the right time to come and meet you.

LC: I never know if I’m ninety-two or ninety-three. I was born in 1917.

BLVR: The year of the Russian Revolution.

LC: Ah, yes, the Russians. I’ve never been to Russia.

BLVR: I think you would love it.

LC: I doubt it.

BLVR: Why?

LC: I don’t believe in communism.

BLVR: They’ve thrown away communism and wholeheartedly embraced capitalism. But Moscow—the architecture is so unexpected. It’s so large and ornate, it makes you feel small. As though you were in a fairy tale. The scale is huge.

LC: Oh?

BLVR: You have a lot of books. Do you read a lot?

LC: Not now. I have a bad eye.

BLVR: You must miss reading.

LC: Yes, I think I do.

BLVR: Why did you stop writing?

LC: I didn’t really stop. I just don’t deal with publishers anymore.

BLVR: Do you have unpublished writing?

LC: Probably, yes.

III. SURREALISTS

LC: What do you want to know?

BLVR: Are you working on anything right now, or thinking about anything right now?

LC: No. I’m not well. [Pauses] Too many years.

BLVR: You said you’re not working on anything, but if you were feeling better, might you start on something? Do you have any plans?

LC: No. I don’t talk about my plans. Especially as I don’t know what they are.

BLVR: Do you feel like you know less as you grow older, or more?

LC: I feel I know absolutely nothing. We know nothing about death. I think humanity knows very little. We have no idea. There are lots of theories.

BLVR: You’ve studied Zen Buddhism in the past. Does it help? Have they figured something out?

LC: I’m not enlightened, so I wouldn’t know. Do you have a light?

BLVR: Here you are. [Hands Carrington a lighter] Do you remember when you were in your mid-thirties? Did you feel that you knew more then?

LC: I don’t think I ever had the pretension of knowing. Nobody ever knows what death is.

BLVR: We think about it less when we’re younger.

LC: Do you need an ashtray?

BLVR: I can reach, thank you.

BLVR: I’m starting to think about death. A little bit more.

LC: Well, all of the thinking you’ll do, I doubt if you’re going to find out much.

BLVR: Your work continues to influence, and it is unique in how it approaches the accumulation of diverse myth and makes it transmutable to the present tense. The layering of your iconography. No matter who you are, there are lots of ways into your work.

LC: Well, a lot of the things they are doing now are a kind of simplification.

BLVR: Whose work do you admire?

LC: The surrealists. Duchamp, Max Ernst, Picasso. But I don’t see any point in discussing visual art for me. Other people can make their ideas.

BLVR: There is an interest in your work in part because we are currently in somewhat of a mythless culture. That’s part of my attraction to your work.

LC: Contemporary art has gotten so abstract that it’s practically nothing.

BLVR: I’ve been searching for myth, for ritual.

LC: I think ritual has to come on its own. I don’t think you can search for it. Where would you be searching?

BLVR: Within, I suppose.

LC: You’re not interested in Buddhism? I think they are very good.

BLVR: What was it that attracted you to Buddhism, given that you’re not a joiner, that you’re not interested in religion or politics?

LC: A saying, which is not mine: “Form is emptiness and emptiness is form.”

BLVR: How did that affect your work?

LC: I went on waiting for it to appear.

BLVR: Now it is easier for female artists to show their work, have it exhibited, have it accepted. It doesn’t seem as much of a struggle as it was for you.

LC: There was a time when female artists were totally invisible. There have always been female artists, but since females were considered to be an inferior animal, we don’t know too much about them.

BLVR: Were male artists supportive? If they had a great eye, they must have had recognition for female artists.

LC: Few of them, not all of them. One of them once said, “There are no women artists.” So I told him, “All you have to do is open the door, walk down the passage, and you’ll find the street!”

BLVR: Who was that?

LC: I won’t say. I haven’t seen him since.

BLVR: How did the Second World War affect your work?

LC: I was afraid to be trapped by the Nazis. It was a frightening time. We didn’t know that the Nazis weren’t going to take over the world. I lived in the south of France and then was in Spain for a while, but I was in a clinic.

BLVR: I’ve read about that [in Carrington’s Down Below, which academic Marina Warner has called one of the most lucid accounts of going insane]. You never went back to Spain?

LC: No.

BLVR: How do you think you survived that time in the clinic?

LC: I don’t know. I was young. In good health.

BLVR: We know from Down Below that you drew maps. What were the maps about?

LC: There were levels in the clinic. At the top, there were the people they considered to be hopelessly mad, and I was one. Then they moved me to a private cell. I was alone there, with a keeper.

BLVR: They gave you drugs.

LC: There were these terrible injections, from which, out of terror, you stopped being mad—more or less the theory.

BLVR: Your keeper was a man or a woman?

LC: She was a woman, a German with a love for the Nazis.

BLVR: Did she talk to you about that?

LC: No, because I didn’t let her.

BLVR: You said that you are not interested in politics.

LC: Well, I think when there are a great number of humans doing something, I begin to doubt it.

BLVR: You’re a nonconformist.

LC: Exactly. I’ve never been closely connected with politics. Though I more or less liked the anarchists. But I’ve never participated.

BLVR: Or in organized religion.

LC: Well, I’m a Roman Catholic. My mother was Irish, from the South, so, yes, I was put in a convent. After a few months I was expelled. They wrote my father and said, “This child does not collaborate with either work or play.”

BLVR: What were your memories of that time?

LC: I was miserable.

BLVR: Is that when you started to draw?

LC: No, I’ve always drawn.

BLVR: How old were you when you were expelled?

LC: About ten.

BLVR: And did you have any friends?

LC: None! I was very unpopular.

BLVR: Why?

LC: Because I’m not good at anything. I couldn’t play hockey. I was not good at religion.

BLVR: I think children are conformists. When they see a child that doesn’t fit in…

LC: Yes, you’re unpopular.

BLVR: Was there a moment that you felt you did belong? And whom with?

LC: The surrealists.

BLVR: Did you seek them out?

LC: I first heard of the surrealists from my mother, who gave me a book by Herbert Read. I thought, Ah! This I understand.

BLVR: That must have felt so incredible after many years of feeling isolated. And then you met the surrealists and became one?

LC: I already was one.

BLVR: Was there any point at which you felt you weren’t rebelling?

LC: When I met the surrealists.

BLVR: And now?

LC: Now I’m over ninety, and so I think a lot about my old age and what I cannot do and so on and so forth.

BLVR: Are there any gifts that come with loss, with old age?

LC: Not that I know of. [Laughs] What I’m doing right now is surviving. [Lights a cigarette] I’m addicted.

BLVR: You’ve smoked since you were at the convent?

LC: Yes, but hidden. There was a big garden and we hid under the bushes.

BLVR: How did you get cigarettes in a convent?

LC: That’s a good question. We seemed to get them all right. I probably brought them, and hid them.

BLVR: When you’re in a convent, you sleep there—there are no parents?

LC: You see them once every three months for a short time. It was terrible.

BLVR: And your brothers?

LC: They went to a Jesuit school.

BLVR: And your sons, did they go to school? They lived here with you, right?

LC: Yes. My husband [Emerico “Chiki” Weisz] was a photojournalist in Mexico. He had a theory that if he left Mexico they would put him in a concentration camp. He was Jewish and a Hungarian. He more or less despised his work, which is not very good. He just thought it was just a job.

BLVR: Was that difficult? You are so realized with your work, and he—

LC: What marriage is not difficult? You tell me.

BLVR: There is always some kind of conflict. But yours lasted a very long time [over fifty years].

LC: Yes.

BLVR: Your husband died quite recently. What was his condition near the end? Was he talkative?

LC: He just sat. He didn’t talk.

BLVR: In your younger years, did you talk? Were you a talkative couple?

LC: I don’t remember! I don’t think so. He never talked much. And I don’t speak Hungarian. We talked mostly in French.

 

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Book

Leonora Carrington The Hearing Trumpet
NYRB Classics

‘One of the first things ninety-two-year-old Marian Leatherby overhears when she is given an ornate hearing trumpet is her family plotting to commit her to an institution. Soon she finds herself trapped inside a sinister retirement home where the elderly must inhabit buildings shaped like birthday cakes and igloos, endure twisted religious preaching, and eat in a canteen overlooked by the mysterious portrait of a leering abbess. But when another resident secretly hands Marian a book recounting the life of the abbess, a joyous and brilliantly surreal adventure begins to unfold. Written in the early 1960s, The Hearing Trumpet remains one of the most original and inspirational of all fantastic novels.’ — NYRB

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Excerpt

When Carmella gave me the present of a hearing trumpet she may have foreseen some of the consequences. Carmella is not what I would call malicious, she just happens to have a curious sense of humour. The trumpet was certainly a fine specimen of its kind, without being really modern. It was, however, exceptionally pretty, being encrusted with silver and mother o’pearl motives and grandly curved like a buffalo’s horn. The aesthetic presence of this object was not its only quality, the hearing trumpet magnified sound to such a degree that ordinary conversation became quite audible even to my ears.

Here I must say that all my senses are by no means impaired by age. My sight is still excellent although I use spectacles for reading, when I read, which I practically never do. True, rheumatics have bent my skeleton somewhat. This does not prevent me taking a walk in clement weather and sweeping my room once a week, on Thursday, a form of exercise which is both useful and edifying. Here I may add that I consider that I am still a useful member of society and I believe still capable of being pleasant and amusing when the occasion seems fit. The fact that I have no teeth and never could wear dentures does not in any way discomfort me, I don’t have to bite anybody and there are all sorts of soft edible foods easy to procure and digestible to the stomach. Mashed vegetables, chocolate and bread dipped in warm water make the base of my simple diet. I never eat meat as I think it is wrong to deprive animals of their life when they are so difficult to chew anyway.

I am now ninety-two and for some fifteen years I have lived with my son and his family. Our house is situated in a residential district and would be described in England as a semi-detached villa with a small garden. I don’t know what they call it here but probably some Spanish equivalent of ‘spacious residence with park.’ This is untrue, the house is not spacious, it is cramped, there is nothing resembling even faintly a park. There is, however, a fine back yard which I share with my two cats, a hen, the maid and her two children, some flies and a cactus plant called maguey.

My room looks onto this nice back yard which is very convenient as there are no stairs to negotiate — I merely have to open the door in order to enjoy the stars at night or the early morning sun, the only manifestation of sunlight which I can abide. The maid, Rosina, is an Indian woman with a morose character and seems generally opposed to the rest of humanity. I do not believe that she puts me in a human category so our relationship is not disagreeable. The maguey plant, the flies and myself are things which occupy the back yard, we are elements of the landscape and are accepted as such. The cats are another matter. Their individuality puts Rosina into fits of delight or fury according to her temper. She talks to the cats, she never talks to her children at all, although I think she likes them in her own way.

I never could understand this country and now I am beginning to be afraid that I never will get back to the north, never get away from here. I must not give up hope, miracles can happen and very often do happen. People think fifty years is a long time to visit any country because it is often more than half a lifetime. To me fifty years is no more than a space of time stuck somewhere I don’t really want to be at all. For the last forty-five years I have been trying to get away. Somehow I never could, there must be a binding spell which keeps me in this country. Sometime I shall find out why I stayed so long here, while I am happily contemplating reindeer and snow, cherry trees, meadows, the song of the thrush.

England is not always the focus of these dreams. I do not, in fact, particularly want to install myself in England although I will have to visit my mother in London, she is getting old now, although enjoying excellent health. A hundred and ten is not such a great age, from a biblical point of view at least Margrave, my mother’s valet, who sends me post cards of Buckingham Palace, tells me she is still very spry in her wheel chair, although how anyone can be spry in a wheel chair I really don’t know He says she is quite blind but has no beard which must be a reference to a photograph of myself which I sent as a Christmas gift last year.

Indeed I do have a short grey beard which conventional people would find repulsive. Personally I find it rather gallant.

England would be a matter of a few weeks, then I would join my lifelong dream of going to Lapland to be drawn in a vehicle by dogs, woolly dogs.

All this is a digression and I do not wish anyone to think my mind wanders far, it wanders but never further than I want.

So, I live with my Galahad, mostly in the back yard.

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Misanthrope, Hey, G. Well, ageing is weird. It brings along all kinds of unexpected stuff. It’s like the body has all these ugly secrets that it time releases or something. Did you get to the doc on time at whatever time that ended up being? Yay! About the haunted thing. If you need any tips or anything, I’ve become quite the expect at haunt locating, etc. Dude, I so extremely join you in your hope that it isn’t a stent requiring thing, yikes! What’s the word? ** David Ehrenstein, Hi. Oh, I have to disagree. I think home/pro haunted houses are more timely and scarier and yet more escapist than ever at the moment. I’m pleased and surprised that they’re proliferating this year IRL under the circumstances. I went to a full on, safety measures-adhering haunt here in Paris, and the edits made to follow the measures were imaginative. and it was great. Things are getting worse here very fast, and it’s not the right wing’s doing here. Yesterday the new cases in France almost doubled. The government is announcing stricter guidelines tonight. Same all over Europe. The predicted second wave has arrived. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. No, I think the full-contact haunts are reinventing themselves this year. Well, they have to. Yes, please share a link to the ‘Not Going Back to Normal’ event. That’s exciting! ** Sypha, If memory serves, there has been a haunt or two that tried your angle, to very poor attendance, no surprise, ha ha. I have read ‘The Tenant’. I liked it very much. He’s a very interesting artist in general. I did a post about him a while back. Roland Topor’s Brains. ** Steve Erickson, Hi. Doubt those haunts have the budget to. It’s amazing how much they can pull off on workers’ wages. The ones made by people who work in the special effects industry of course have a leg up. I’ll check out that essay thanks. Everyone, Steve has a tip. Here: ‘Speaking of horror films, James Somerton’s 90-minute video essay (which I haven’t watched in its entirety) is an interesting collection of queer readings of movies like CARRIE & ALIEN. ** Brian O’Connell, Hi, Brian. Chambers of Hell looks like a pretty intense one. Good intense, by my reckoning and values, I mean. If you go, give me a review. McKamey Manor used to be in San Diego near my hometown of LA, but I was never remotely tempted to do it, my vast love of the genre not withstanding. I do find the interest in subjecting oneself to that very interesting. I think there’s some of kind of documentary about that place. I will definitely watch the ‘Suspiria’ remake. Surely I can find it legally or illegally somewhere. Interesting that it lead you to Fassbinder. Now I’m even more curious. Fassbinder is so amazing, no? I’m happy the links/posts were helpful. Enjoy the exploring. And have a really swell one aka day. ** Okay. Today the blog focuses on the only novel by the wonderful Surrealist writer/artist Leonora Carrington. It’s a wild and fun thing, if you’re interested. See you tomorrow.

* (Halloween countdown post #4)

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The Dent Schoolhouse Cincinnati, OH
‘The story of Charlie McFee is familiar to those well-versed in urban legends and American horror folklore: In Dent, Ohio (near Cincinnati) in 1942, children attending the local schoolhouse begin to go missing. They keep disappearing over the next decade, and in 1955, an angry mob discovers that Charlie, the school janitor, has been keeping the rotting bodies of murdered students in gruesome states of disarray in the basement. Charlie escapes and is never heard from again, while the ghosts of murdered kids roam the hallways, seeking revenge and release from their violent passing…but is Charlie really gone? “We set Dent Schoolhouse up to be like a movie,” Bud Stross says. “You, the audience member, relive the horror of the schoolhouse and what Charlie McFee did to the students. From start to finish, our customers are engulfed by the building and its history. Before you even buy a ticket, guests are met by actors playing locals who are crazed by the grisly landmark in their town.”’

 

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Haunted Hoochie Pataskala, OH
‘Entering Haunted Hoochie entails known and unanticipated risks that could result in physical or emotional injury. Risks may include among other things, slipping, falling, collision with fixed objects or other participants, bruises, twists, sprains, breaks, seizures and/or death. Understand that such risks simply cannot be eliminated without jeopardizing the essential qualities of this activity. By purchasing a ticket to Haunted Hoochie it is expressly understood that you have been made aware of the risks and you agree to assume all the risks existing in this activity. Your participation is purely voluntary and you elect to participate in spite of the risks. By purchasing a ticket you acknowledge that if anyone is hurt or property is damaged you may be found by a court of law to have waived your right to maintain a lawsuit against Haunted Hoochie.’

 

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Night at the Die-In Kissimmee, FL
‘Drive your car into a horror movie and witness it come to life all around your vehicle. Sets, props, fog, lighting, audio, and live performers will bring this approximately 25-minute experience to life. You will slowly drive your car along a 1.25 mile long, “Drive-Thru haunted house” and stop at show scenes. The experience is entirely socially-distanced… perfect for enjoying Halloween frights in 2020. “Night at the Die-In” also features original music by Andy Garfield, composer of the Marathon of Mayhem soundtrack at Halloween Horror Nights. Drive safe and steady and maybe you’ll all make it to the end credits…’

 

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Madworld Piedmont, SC
‘Madworld is ranked as one of America’s scariest haunted houses by the haunted house industry and top haunt enthusiasts, as well as ranked the Best Haunted House in South Carolina! With the industries best monsters, costumes, animatronics, pyrotechnics, and special FX, Madworld delivers the scare factor and entertainment like no one else. Purchase a No-Scare medallion at the ticket booth before you enter, and you or your loved one will be given “superhero” powers. In fact, Madworld’s monsters will be so afraid of your new mojo, they’ll literally run AWAY from you.’

 

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The Legendary Dungeon of Doom Zion, IL
‘Located at the old Briquette Factory in Zion, DOD has has engraved its name in the Hall of Shame because year after year, the sickest minds in the industry take the chill to new heights. While heart-pounding boundaries are pushed to the limit, The Dungeon of Dooms freak show shatters expectations with unmatched attractions, such as the one-of-a-kind Buried Dead or Alive, where everyone in your group will be physically buried. The DOD continues to reach the boundaries with the best Killer Crew including the lurking ghouls, deranged clowns and shambling undead. They are sure to scare you right out of your skin! Chicago and Milwaukee’s premier haunted house experience, the Dungeon has been rated THE Top Haunted House by reviewers year after year since the attraction opened in 1997. Yet they don’t stop there.’

 

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nocent Los Angeles, CA
‘nocent is an exclusive society for the guilty. It offers a family in which you can remove your societal masks and have the darkness inside you welcomed. Their Instagram does not follow anyone, reinforcing that they want the decision to join to be your own. If there’s any hesitation, they suggest this experience is not for you. They frame their experiences as opportunities to relive memories of other nocent members’ guilt, pain, or trauma. Despite the dark and often horrific nature of these memories, they are consistently rooted in a humanistic narrative, with contact always serving to expand and further the plot. A second set of experiences invite guests to meet members of nocent, offering insight into the organization itself. These stories focus on the indoctrination into the cult-like mentality of this religion and allow for bonds that can extend beyond the experience itself via phone calls, emails, and online chats. nocent also offers layered remote experiences that allow audiences from across the world to relive the memories and hear the stories of its members. These remote memories are much deeper and powerful than a simple call; they often extend across multiple days, allowing for connection and emotional bonds to be created between audience and storyteller. In such, the emotions felt rival and sometimes exceed that of in person events, due to the unique nature of long-form storytelling. While often formatted as audio adventures, some of these experiences also include physical objects mailed to your home, phone calls from characters, emails and texts, and community engagement, all focused to enhance the narrative.’

 

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Nightmare on Edgewood Indianapolis, IN
‘Nightmare on Edgewood is a ‘full contact’ haunted house, meaning not only will you be touched, but also likely be pushed, pulled, grabbed and otherwise manipulated however these monsters and minions see fit. If you don’t like the actors getting a little grabby, then Nightmare on Edgewood may not be the place for you. At one point, one of the guys in our group had 3 pretty big actors on him trying to intubate him (yes, with the medical tube thing that they stick down your throat for surgery). Another actor bear-hugged him and pulled him backwards onto a hospital bed.’

 

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The Darkness Fenton, MS
‘Are you ready to experience the best haunted house in America? How deep into the depths of The Darkness can you plunge before your next breath is your last? The all new Darkness Haunted House, located in Soulard, off South Broadway in downtown St. Louis, Missouri, has been rated as America’s BEST haunted house. The Darkness celebrates its 27th Year of Fear with a total renovation to make The Darkness longer and scarier than ever before.’

 

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The Haunting Experience on Highway 61 Cottage Grove, MN
‘What are YOU Afraid of? The only thing to fear is fear itself. Or is it? Whatever it is you fear the most, chances are it is lurking around somewhere– in your mind. We’ve been operating out here for over 34 years, so all we can say is, if you dare to come, you’d better not come alone. When you visit the Haunting Experience, you will experience the legacy of terror that has made us the premier haunted attraction in MN. Find out why when you enter our terrifying haunted house and ride on the longest haunted hayride in the state.’

 

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RISE Haunted House Tickfaw, LA
‘In an experiment that went terribly wrong or amazingly right, depending on your point of view, the dead have been awakened. With the loss of his family, Henry Risewell, a wealthy entrepreneur, turned to his long-time friend, Bartholomew Stinger, for help in resurrecting his wife and son. Bartholomew, a fringe scientist in the field of cryonics, assisted Henry in setting up a hidden laboratory where the two men pushed the boundaries of science in an effort to unlock the mysteries of life and death. Experimenting on dogs, cats and other cast away animals soon gave way to corpses salvaged from the local cemetery. At first, harvesting bodies from the fresh graves provided ample supply for their experiments, but as they closed in on their goals and the research spiraled deeper into the depth of dark science, the small supply of bodies was not enough. New methods of harvesting had to be found. Hitchhikers and the homeless provided live bodies for experimentation and frequent unexplained accidents provided dead ones. Henry opened his home as a Bed and Breakfast to lure travelers and rogue wanderers to their final resting place.’

 

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La Casa de Satanas Chicago, IL
‘The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) classifies some sovereign citizens as domestic terrorists. In 2010 the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) estimated that approximately 100,000 Americans were “hard-core sovereign believers”, with another 200,000 “just starting out by testing sovereign techniques for resisting everything from speeding tickets to drug charges”. With government leaders and authorities world wide setting atrocious examples and commiting blatant acts against humanity and the environment, we at La Casa de Satanas invite you to our house, to experience our Sovereign State, where real life horrors the supernatural, and physical world collide. You must have a valid passport to enter as a tourist or you must undergo our naturalization process to attend.

‘WARNING: NO TRIGGER WARNINGS, THIS IS NOT A “SAFE SPACE”, YOU MAY BE TOUCHED, BOUND, BLIND FOLDED OR HANDLED. YOU WILL GET SOME DIRT ON YOU. YOU MUST SIGN A WAIVER, THERE IS A SAFE WORD. PLEASE WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHING AND SHOES. YOU MUST FOLLOW ALL INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN TO YOU TO PARTICIPATE. IF YOU SHOW UP WASTED YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN. THERE ARE NO REFUNDS IF YOU ARE EJECTED FOR UNRULY BEHAVIOR OR CALLING SAFETY.’

 

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The Edson Incident Bay City, MI
‘The Edson Incident is a premier haunted attraction aboard the mighty USS Edson in Bay City, Michigan. Those brave enough to enter will twist and climb their way through 5 hellish decks of the Vietnam era U.S. Navy Destroyer! Each turn and stairway leads you Into the Darkness!!’

 

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Cutting Edge Haunted House Fort Worth, TX
‘Located in a 100-year-old abandoned meat packing plant in a section of Fort Worth historically dubbed as “Hell’s Half Acre,” the Cutting Edge Haunted House is built upon a foundation of fear. The meat packing equipment from the Old West is still in use, but now it is a two-story human processing area. Realistic looking human mannequins are hoisted up to the second level and brought through the entire meat packing process until the conveyor system brings the butchered corpses back to the first level. The old meat-packing plant in downtown Fort Worth is a great home for the fantastic special effects that our loyal customers have come to expect. It takes visitors an average 55 minutes to explore Cutting Edge Haunted House. This walk-through haunted house is frighteningly realistic. Cutting Edge Haunted House has established a reputation for being one of the best haunted houses in the country. Cutting Edge Haunted House, a Guinness World Record holder, is one of the America’s best and largest haunted houses.’

 

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Carpenter’s Mortuary Spook House Gentry, AK
‘Yes, every haunted house has a story. And if you ask the phantoms who hang out in Gentry’s old mortuary, they might tell you theirs. It’s true that most encounters with them have been described as little more than HELLISH SCREAMING followed by the sensation of having flesh pealed from bone. But on rare, quiet nights, they’ve been known to flit around the place, gibbering about the past, about the Carpenter Building . . . and what happened there.’

 

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STAG: An Immersive Horror Experiment Saginaw, MI
‘STAG is a 30 minute, fully immersive, walk through experience which you participate at times in the company of others, but mostly by yourself. STAG uses real life horror narratives to physically and psychologically stimulate their victims. Lying somewhere in-between art installation and a haunted house, STAG is only for people who are 18 years of age or older. You must sign a waiver to participate.’

 

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Kersey Valley Spookywoods Archdale, NC
‘Smack dab in the middle of North Carolina is the small town of Archdale, pop. 11,000. Just outside is a sprawling 60-acre plot of land that houses some of the best themed attractions this side of Dollywood—if Dolly Parton wanted to scare the hell out of you. Welcome to Kersey Valley Attractions, home of Kersey Valley Spookywoods. Voted one of the scariest scream parks in America by Hauntworld.com and rated the number-one haunted attraction by HauntedHouseRatings.com in 2012, Spookywoods claims to be one of the largest, most terrifying sites in the country. It is run by Tony and Donna Wohlgemuth, who employ a year-round staff (with over 300 people currently working at the farm) and are constantly changing with the times.’

 

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Haunted Overload Lee, NH
‘Haunted Overload is simply one of the most creative and unique haunted attractions in New England. Now located on the DeMeritt Hill Farm on Route 155 in Lee NH. The show has twice been voted one of the top 13 haunted attractions in the country. Haunted Overload is the award-winning horror show where we pull out all the stops. Twisted creatures wait around every turn in the most frightening patch of forest in New England. Our haunted trail is a one-of-a-kind, fully immersive Halloween experience that features our stunning sets, handmade props, and spectacular costumes in their most terrifying element.’

 

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Netherworld Stone Mountain, GA
‘Netherworld quite simply has some of the best scenic to be found anywhere, even competing with the large, annual theme park haunt events. While experiencing this attraction, you essentially need to have your head on a swivel, because there are so many extraordinary things to look at and encounter. We have found that if you don’t want to miss anything, you have to be looking both above and below at all times. Creatures fly overhead, while monsters and special effects surprise you from every direction. Netherworld Haunted House has always been a fan of the huge animatronics, and they have included a few even bigger ones in their new location, building massive monsters who interact and enthrall guests inside their new, seemingly unlimited overhead space. A plethora of other giant, creatures with salivating mouths and sharp teeth nip at you from their hiding places and block your path, threatening to snatch you from the line and have you as a meal.’

 

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Chambers Of Hell Hauppauge, NY
‘From humble beginnings, Chamber of Horrors NY has risen to not just be the talk of Long Island, but one of the top haunted tourism destinations in the tri-state area. Gradually, the pieces of the puzzle came together and the current staff took shape. The process began with the addition of general manager Robert Frankenberg, whose early musical career introduced him to the horror business in 2007, and he has been neck deep in it ever since. Another key addition was Oscar Gonzalez. He was an amateur set designer for Halloween parties at his own house for years, getting more and more intense and elaborate with the props and decor as time went on. His designs got so much buzz that he started getting offers from community events. After a few very successful solo shows he came on board in 2015 to design the ultimate sets and terrifying scares at Chamber of Horrors NY.’

 

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Joe Allocco’s The Franklin Square Horror Franklin Square, NY
‘See What Thousands of People Witness Every Halloween – Selected As One Of The Scariest Home Haunts In America By Fearnet.com and Shown In New York Newsday, The Franklin Square Herald, News 12 Long Island, CBS 2 News, Fox 5 News, TV 10/55 News, Fios 1- Heroes of our Island and Sponsored By The Long Island Press, Joe Allocco’s Award Winning Home Haunt, The Franklin Square Horror, Continued with All New Scares For 2018. Chosen as the 1st Place – Best Haunted House on Long Island by Bethpage Federal Credit Union – Best of Long Island Contest for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and for the 6th year in a row 2020! And Shown on the Rachel Ray Show in 2019! The Franklin Square Horror is One of the Biggest and Scariest Home Haunt Walk-Throughs on Long Island! Once you enter Norbay Street you will see Hundreds of feet of pure Terror! Visitor have Witnessed all the Terrifying fun! Come and See if you DARE!’

 

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Jason’s Woods Lancaster, PA
‘IMT will ABSOLUTELY change how you experience the haunted hayride! Pushing the very limits, exceeding expectations, blurring the line between hayride and thrill-ride! 2020 unleashes the most bizarre, breath-taking IMT EVER!!! Witness the all new, bone shattering GRINDER! Find your trembling soul lost within the very depths of a vicious, heart wrenching EARTHQUAKE! And as if… that wasn’t enough this season Jason’s Woods puts an entirely new spin on last year’s SMASH hit WRECKING MACHINE!!! Make no mistake, IMT will BLOW… YOU… AWAY!!!!’

 

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The Haunted Chicken House Heflin, AL
‘Storyline focuses on Chicken Dan, the mutant chickens he raised and the gruesome war that ensued. “You will experience intense audio, lighting, extreme low visibility, strobe lights, fog, damp or wet conditions, moving floors, special effects, sudden actions and an overall physically demanding environment,” the website says.’

 

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The SlaughterHouse Tucson, AZ
‘It was very difficult to develop and meet COVID requirements, but we made things happen to bring Tucson’s favorite Haunt back for the 2020 season! The thing that makes us different, especially this year, is that we are a Linear attraction. When crowds need to gather in groups or wait in many different lines, it is near impossible to meet COVID Social Distancing requirements. So this season will be one of the longest, continuous Haunted Houses in the world. We have reconfigured all of your favorite haunted houses into 1 gigantic haunted house. We will be using timed ticketing and limiting the amount of walk-up traffic. It is VITAL to get your tickets in advance to make sure you can visit us on the night that you prefer. Some nights will absolutely be SOLD OUT, so plan ahead. Apocalypse will still be an available upgrade to your ticket and we have lowered all prices across the board for the 2020 season so everyone can attend!’

 

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Castle of Chaos Salt Lake City, UT
‘Castle of Chaos offers an overnight extreme haunt named Krusebel in the Salt Lake City area. Krusebel tests the endurance of their participants both psychologically and physically, pushing participants to the boundaries of their limits. Full contact, restraints, temperature changes, suffocation, electricity, forced feeding, etc Customizable intensity. Safeword provided, though it may be waived.’

 

 

*

p.s. Hey. ** Armando, I wrote to you privately. ** Dominick, Hi! Oh, I don’t know ‘The Impossible’, and I’m kind of a disaster movie fanatic of sorts. In other words, thanks for the new itch. Yes, the potential film script is an adaptation of the failed TV series project, basically trying to turn three 50-minute TV episodes into a tighter, more cinematic feature film. And whether it happens or not, I have to say the script is infinitely better now. The Cindy Sherman show was incredible. She’s such a great artist. Yes, the new restrictions aren’t too bad. Bars closed, supposedly cafes closed (but I saw several ones yesterday that were open), personal gatherings no bigger than 5 people, all live events cancelled, new restaurant restrictions but no closures, basically, For two weeks to start. I think it’ll get worse, but it’s okay for now. I had one of those loves too. Did not end well, unsurprisingly, ha ha. Love writing even creepier notes about the creepy neighbors who are writing notes about him, Dennis. ** Misanthrope, Hi, G, thanks. Okay, well, I’m happy to read that after that fucking mess of an attempt you have a couple of solid appointments. And, yes, big up about the diagnosis double-checking. Okay, so … what did the first doc say? Man, such suckage that you’re in this predicament. Big love, me. ** David Ehrenstein, Hi. Yeah, the infection rates have risen dramatically here. I’m fine, as is everyone I know. We’re all sticking to the protocols carefully. It’s the rebels who are getting it and fucking things up for everyone. Same as over there, I guess, but with seemingly sane, solid guidance from the powers that be in our case. ** Ian, Hi! Oh, good, I’m glad my thoughts helped out. If you can get into the fetish-y pleasure of chipping away at and polishing the prose, I think you’re likely find the right way to go. But, as I said, if I can throw any thoughts or tips your way, just say the word. And enjoy. Later gator. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, Ben. I remember seeing pix of that Yinka Shonibare piece. It looks lovely. Nice adds to the fray, man. Thank you, buddy. ** wolf, Aw, thanks a lot, pal. Yeah, the floods around Nice were insane. Zac’s mom lives around there, but her place is spared, but he knows that river and those affected spots, and he was mindblown by the footage. Good, then please tell me how great and in what way the Michael Clarke retrospective is. Ah, you get to see the Bruce Nauman retro! I so regret not getting over to the States to see it. That should be insanely great. I haven’t seen signs of it coming here, but it does seem like it would. I’ll check again. I had dinner with him once in the early 80s. He’s such a male dude, in a very charming way. At least we have the Cindy Sherman retro up at the Vuitton Foundation, which is just fantastic. Well, do milk London try before you head off to a blissful ‘nowhere’ if you do. Love, me. ** Steve Erickson, Hi. I did fool around with an aquarium simulator game — can’t remember which one, could have been Creatura, which does look like the biggie — a bit when I discovered they existed by doing that post. It was very nice, lovely tempo, weird enough, very peaceful. ** Brian O’Connell, Hi, Brian. Happy to have indirectly given you a little peace. Staying invested in work of great interest seems like the way to go. Or that’s my angle, and I seem to be a little less dour than a lot of people I know. Ah, gotcha, about the new-fangled horrors being your entree. That’s interesting. That’s an interesting entrance to horror, I mean. I’ve heard such mixed things about the ‘Suspiria’ remake, and yet I am very into seeing it, which I need to do. You’re not the first wise person I know to like it. Hm, maybe the best way to recommend is to hook you up with some Days I did about earlier horror films? I’ll try. (Some of the links or embeds therein might be dead by now) Jack Arnold Day, Boris Karloff Day, Vincent Price Day, Herschell Gordon Lewis Day, Lucio Fulci Day, Mario Bava Day, Gordon Hessler Day, Terrence Fisher Day, Jean Rollin Day. That’s probably a lot more input than you need or want, but there you go, if that’s useful. My day was solid. I hope yours causes your stress to vacate like startled pigeons. ** Damien Ark, Hi, D! Thanks for the youtube link. I love that shit, as you probably know. All is well, and with you too, I hope. ** Bill, Hi, B. Yeah, every once in a while Guo-Qiang does something that seems completely out of the blue. Or used to. I get the feeling he’s pretty locked into the fireworks thing now. I obviously suggest a southward thumb on ‘The Lighthouse’, but … ** Okay. Today I put together a post for you lucky, grrrr, US folks who might want to find a haunted house attraction this year. (An international edition is forthcoming.) They are happening in a decent number, despite it all. If it needs to be said, the vast majority of the illustrative photos and most of the videos date to earlier pre-Covid incarnations of the haunts. Almost all of those haunts are implementing safety measures of some sort that you can read about if you click through to their sites. Anyway, you Americans, if I were you, I would use this post as a map for a big road trip starting ASAP, but I am not you very clearly. See you tomorrow.