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‘Nazis tried to teach dogs to talk and read – and claimed one could even discuss religion. Hitler, a well-known dog lover, hoped the animals would learn to communicate with their SS masters, and supported a special dog school set up to teach them to talk. Nazi officials recruited so-called educated dogs from all over Germany and trained them to tap out signals using their paws. The dog school was called the Tier-Sprechschule ASRA and was based near Hanover. Led by headmistress Margarethe Schmitt, it was set up in the 1930s and continued throughout the war years.
‘Rolf, an Airedale terrier, reportedly ‘spoke’ by tapping his paw against a board, each letter of the alphabet being represented by a certain number of taps. He was said to have speculated about religion, learnt foreign languages, written poetry and asked a visiting noblewoman: ‘Could you wag your tail?’ The patriotic dog even expressed a wish to join the army – because he disliked the French. A Dachshund named Kurwenal was said to speak using a different number of barks for each letter, and told his biographer he would be voting for Hindenburg. And a German pointer named Don imitated a human voice to bark: ‘Hungry! Give me cakes.’
‘But do dogs really talk? Back in 1912 Harry Miles Johnson of Johns Hopkins University said, emphatically, “no.” In a paper in Science, he generally agreed with the findings of Oskar Pfungst of the Institute of Psychology at the University of Berlin who studied a dog famous for its large vocabulary. The dog’s speech is “the production of vocal sounds which produce illusion in the hearer,” Johnson wrote. Nothing in the last century has really changed that scientific opinion.
‘It’s more appropriate to call it imitating than talking, says Gary Lucas, a visiting scholar in psychology at Indiana University Bloomington. Dogs vocalize with each other to convey emotions—and they express their emotions by varying their tones, he says. So it pays for dogs to be sensitive to different tones. Dogs are able to imitate humans as well as they do because they pick up on the differences in our tonal patterns.
‘Owner hears the dog making a sound that resembles a phrase, says the phrase back to the dog, who then repeats the sound and is rewarded with a treat. Eventually the dog learns a modified version of her original sound. As Lucas puts it, “dogs have limited vocal imitation skills, so these sounds usually need to be shaped by selective attention and social reward.” Scientists have made some progress in their study of this important subject: They’ve learned why dogs, and other animals, have rather poor pronunciation and, for example, completely botch consonants.
‘Dogs “don’t use their tongues and lips very well, and that makes it difficult for them to match many of the sounds that their human partners make,” Lucas says. “The canine alphabet differs significantly from ours, featuring a fraction of our consonants (b, f, h, p, r, w, and sometimes y) and the rounder vowel sounds, which are more “sung” than “spoken.” Words are therefore primarily distinguished by minor variations in pronunciation (dogs can differentiate twelve types of r sounds and five degrees of hardness in the letter b).”‘ — collaged
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p.s. Hey. ** Dominik, Hi, D! I think you’ll love the Dlugos book. It’s big fun. You mean how old was I when I did the regression ceremony? Hm, maybe 13? I’m not positive. I think you need to be really sure you want to be on LSD and in the right circumstances before you take it because it’s pretty intense and, at least in my case, it can totally change your way of seeing the world and yourself. Granted, I took a lot of LSD, and it was the 60s when LSD was a lot purer than it usually is now. I started taking psychedelics at around 13, I think. But I didn’t go hog wild with them until I was 15, 16. Of course I’ve never seen ‘Csillag születik’ or really know what it is, but I looked it up and hoped the idea of him being on it was sufficiently wrong/funny. Oh, that’s so sad about the love you propose. Poor thing. Love transfiguring itself into a hit of LSD so you could safely take it, G. ** David Ehrenstein, Funny thinking of Tim as a Total Babe. Oh my god, Jacob Collier makes my skin crawl. Upside down crucifix and garlic cloves betwixt that link and me. Yes, RIP Cloris Leachman. So great. She deserves immortality just for her ‘Young Frankenstein’ turn. Ha ha, thank you for proposing that movie role for me. I am so extremely the opposite of John’s type however, I can assure you, but if he asked, I would do his bidding. ** Matthew Stadler, Hi, Matthew! How awesome to see you in here! I was shocked/thrilled to find that super early Tim/Brad reading too. I remember when you worked for him. I remember going to some pretentious rich gay guy’s party, probably with Tim and maybe Edmund White, where you were pretend-bartending and where he made you stay in the kitchen even though you were a writer while the guests, who were all gay lit authors or types, talked culture or whatever, and I was completely outraged by that bullshit hierarchy, and I think I even left the party because it pissed me off so much. Anyway, hi! ** Misanthrope, I believe you. Well, you were kind of rubbing it in, dude. Yeah, it’s so bad in the UK. I’m so fearful that we’ll end up like that too. Macron will make his decree in that regard tomorrow night. Scary Strokes is a promising name. We don’t have places like that open here. How teenaged pothead-like of David. But if the shoe fits and all of that. ** Bryan Borland, Hi, Bryan! Thank you very much for gracing my blog. Listen, it’s an honor to do a little part in making people a little more aware of Tim’s great book that great you so kindly published. My total pleasure. Much respect and thanks to you. ** _Black_Acrylic, It’s a blast. Hope your class went well, and I’m obviously happy you’re feeling wordy and revved up. ** Jeff J, hi, Jeff. It’s a wonderful book. Thanks about the recent blog. Oh, shit, so sorry about the mysterious recent life maladies. Stoicism and muddling sounds like a plan, and may things take a seismic shift ASAP. I did a Bas Jan Ader post ages ago, but I’m not sure if I’ve restored it. I’ll check. He’s one of my favorite artists. I haven’t heard any recent Zorn, probably for the reasons that you and Steve lay out. He’s been off my radar for no understandable reason. I’ll go get ‘Baphomet’ and start rectifying his absence from my head. Thanks, man. I hope today is your turnaround day. ** Jack Skelley, Hey, J. Yeah, great old Tim, and, yeah, David T. is saintly. It did sometimes seem like Tim was right about everything even when he definitely wasn’t. Morning, buddy. ** Steve Erickson, Hi. Is the reason Zorn is squirrelling his work away thusly for the obvious anti-consumerist sort of reason? It seems more self-destructive than anything maybe. I’ll def. find and watch that Dutch documentary. Thanks a bunch. New song! Everyone, Mr. Erickson says … ‘I wrote this song over the past 3 days, taking almost all the sounds from a huge pack of orchestral samples that I recently downloaded (although I wrote my own melodies and chord progressions using them). I am thinking of writing a string quartet using the same sample pack for my next song.’ Hit it, folks! ** Bernard, Well, hello there, Bernard. A rare and great pleasure. Yes, yes, about Tim. Beautiful words. Yours. I saw that Richard McCann died. I never met him, but I remember you speaking about him to me a fair amount. And Cloris Leachman, of course, kind of a total genius. I often wonder why Cecily Tyson did so little work. I feel like she very rarely was in films. Or maybe she was in a bunch of things and they just weren’t things I would ever think of watching. I will very excitedly go read your poems! Wow, even! Everyone, Ultra-superb poet and dude Bernard Welt has new poems up on the site/mag Court Green, and getting to read his poems is a rare occasion, so I think you might really want to go do that. Read his poems, I mean. Here. Happy you’re writing duh, and that interesting stuff is being magnetised by you. Paris is still great, although this is not necessarily the funnest time to be here, but … maybe by the summer? Please dear god? Hugs, B! ** Bill, I feel pretty certain that you will like and even really like Tim’s book. Congrats on surviving. Teaching what you’re teaching, if I understand what you’re teaching, via Zoom or whatever must be really hard. I have a friend who teaches painting at Cal Arts, and she says trying to teach/advise young painters online is the borderline height of absurdity. How do you think your classes are going so far? ** Right. You’ll probably think I’ve lost the plot, but I decided the other day that it was imperative that I restore the post today. See you tomorrow.