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The blog of author Dennis Cooper

The Friday the 13th Franchise Weekend

 

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‘In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of divine organizational arrangement or chronological completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve hours of the clock day, the twelve deities of Olympus, twelve tribes of Israel, twelve Apostles of Jesus, the 12 successors of Muhammad in Shia Islam, twelve signs of the Zodiac, the 12 years of the Buddhist cycle, etc., whereas the number thirteen was considered irregular, transgressing this completeness. There is also a superstition, thought by some to derive from the Last Supper or a Norse myth, that having thirteen people seated at a table results in the death of one of the diners.

‘The fear of Friday the 13th has been called friggatriskaidekaphobia (Frigga being the name of the Norse goddess for whom “Friday” is named in English and triskaidekaphobia meaning fear of the number thirteen), or paraskevidekatriaphobia, a concatenation of the Greek words Paraskeví (Παρασκευή, meaning “Friday”), and dekatreís (δεκατρείς, meaning “thirteen”) attached to phobía (φοβία, from phóbos, φόβος, meaning “fear”). The latter word was derived in 1911 and first appeared in a mainstream source in 1953.

‘According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States are affected by a fear of this day making it the most feared day and date in history. Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed. “It’s been estimated that $800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day”. In Finland, a consortium of governmental and nongovernmental organizations led by the Ministry of Social Affairs and Health promotes the National Accident Day, which always falls on a Friday 13th.’

‘In many Spanish speaking countries, the movie Friday the 13th was renamed Tuesday the 13th (“Martes 13”) because, in those countries, Tuesday the 13th is believed to be a day of bad luck, not Friday the 13th.’— collaged

 

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The Coroner Report
info. from houseofhorrors.com, a.o.

Working steadily with a special taskforce of the FBI, I have been able compile a complete listings of all Jason Voorhees’ victims. I have been able to provide the victims’ names and proposed method of death. Special thanks to Fangoria, it is the magazine of choice here at the coroner’s office. Without their inspiration, I could have never made it through the long hours working on this report. The following report list only the victims of one, Jason Voorhees, excluding all victims from Friday the 13th and Friday the 13th, Part V: A New Beginning. Jason was not directly responsible for those murders, thus he is not held responsible for them.

 

Friday the 13th, Part 2

1. Alice (Adrienne King) Stabbed in the temple with an icepick.

2. Crazy Ralph (Walt Gorney) Garroted with barbed wire.

3. Policeman (Jack Marks) Hammerclaw in the Head.

4. Scott (Russell Todd) Throat slashed while hanging in a snare.

5. Terry (Kirsten Baker) Knifed.

6. Mark (Tom McBride) Machete to the face.

7 & 8. Jeff (Bill Randolph) and Sandra (Marta Kober) Double impaling with a spear gun.


9. Vickie (Lauren-Marie Taylor) Knifed

10. Paul (John Furey) Disappears, presumed dead.

 

Friday the 13th, Part 3

11. Harold (Steve Susskind) Cleaver to the chest.

12. Edna (Cheri Maugans) Knitting needles in the back of the head.

13. Fox (Gloria Charles) Pitchforked through the neck onto a rafter.

14.Loco (Kevin O’Brien) Pitchforked in the stomach.

15. Ali (Nick Savage) Macheted to death.

16. Shelly (Larry Zerner) Throat slashed.

17. Vera (Catherine Parks) Speargun to the eye.

18. Andy (Jeffery Rogers) Macheted in half.

19. Debbie (Tracie Savage) Knifed from underneath her hammock.

20. Chuck (David Katims) Electrocuted on a fuse box.

21. Chili (Rachel Howard) Stabbed with a fire poker.

22. Rick (Paul Kratka) Head squeezed till his eye pops out.

 

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

23. Axel (Bruce Mahler) Surgical hacksaw to the throat, neck broken.

24. Nurse Morgan (Lisa Freeman) Gutted by a scalpel.

25. Hitchiker (Bonnie Hellman) Knifed through the neck.

26. Samatha (Judie Aronson) Knifed through the neck.

27. Paul (Alan Hayes) Speared in the groin.

28. Terri (Carey More) Speared in the back.

29. Mrs. Jarvis (Joan Freeman) Killed, causes unknown.

30. Jimmy (Crispin Glover) Corkscrew through the hand, cleaver in the face.

31. Tina (Camilla More) Thrown through a window, lands on a parked car.

32. Ted (Lawrence Monoson) Knifed in the head through a movie screen.

33. Doug (Peter Barton) Head crushed in Jason’s bare hands.

34. Sara (Barbara Howard) Axed in the chest.

35. Bob (E. Erich Anderson) Garden harrow in the throat.

 

Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives

36. Allen (Ron Palillo) Heart ripped out.

37. Darren (Tony Goldwyn) Impaled on a spear.

38. Lizabeth (Nancy McLoughlin) Speared through the mouth.

39. Burt (Wallace Merck) Arm ripped off, impaled on a tree branch.

40, 41, & 42. Stan (Matthew Faison), Katie (Ann Ryerson) and Larry (Alam Blumenfeld) Triple decapitation with a machete.



43. Martin (Bob Larkin) Broken bottle in the throat.

44 & 45. Steven (Roger Rose) and Annette (Cynthia Kania) Double impalement with a machete on their motorcycle.

45. Nikki (Darcy Demoss) face crushed against RV wall.

46. Cort (Tom Fridley) Hunting knife in the head.

47. Roy (Whitney Rydbeck) Pieces of him are found strewn in woods.

48. Sissy (Renee Jones) Head ripped off.

49. Paula (Kerry Noonan) Hacked up with a machete.

50. Officer Thornton (Michael Nomand) Dart in the forehead.

51. Officer Pappas (Michael Swan) Head crushed in Jason’s bare hands.

52. Sheriff Garris (David Kagen) Broken in half.

 

Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood

53. Jane (Staci Greason) Tent spike in the neck, impaled to a tree.

54. Michael (William Butler) Tent spike thrown into his back.

55. Dan (Michael Schroeder) Jason’s hand through his body, neck broken.

56. Judy (Debora Kessler) Bashed against a tree in her sleeping bag.

57. Russell (Larry Cox) Axed in the face.

58. Sandra (Heidi Kozak) Pulled underwater and drowned.

59. Maddy (Diana Barrows) Scythe in the neck.

60. Ben (Craig Thomas) Head crushed in Jason’s bare hands.

61. Kate (Diana Almeida) Party horn in the eye.

62. David (Jon Renfield) Butcher knife in the stomach.

63. Eddie (Jeff Bennett) Beheaded with a machete.

64. Robin (Elizabeth Kaitan) Thrown through a window.

65. Amanda Shepherd (Susan Blu) Speared from behind.

67. Dr. Crews (Terry Kiser) Tree-trimming saw in the stomach.

68. Melissa (Susan Jennifer Sullivan) Axed in the face.

 

Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

69. Jim (Todd Shaffer) Impaled with a spear gun.

70. Suzy (Tiffany Paulsen) Stabbed with a spear.

71. J.J. (Saffron Henderson) Bashed in the head with her electric guitar.

72. Boxer (unidentified) Hot sauna rock in the chest.

73. Tamara (Sharlene Martin) Stabbed with a mirror shard.

74. Jim Carlson (Fred Henderson) Harpooned in back.

75. Admiral Robertson (Warren Munson) Throat slit with a machete.

76. Eva (Kelly Hu) Strangled.

77. Wayne (Martin Cummins) Electrocuted on a control panel.

78. Miles (Gordon Currie) Impaled on a deck post.

79. Deck Hand (Alex Diakun) Axed in the back.

80. Gang Banger #1 (Sam Sarkar) Stabbed through the back with his own syringe.

81. Gang Banger #2 (Michael Benyaer) Bashed and scalded on a steam pipe.

82. Julius (V.C. Dupree) Jason knocks his block off.

83. Cop (Roger Barnes) Dragged into an alley, killed.

84. Colleen Van Deusen (Barbara Bingham) Immolated in an exploding car.

85. Charles McCullough (Peter Mark Richman) Drowned in a barrel of sewage.

86. Sanitation Worker (David Longworth) Bashed in the head with a wrench.

***Several anonymous students left to die on the burning ship, and a diner worker thrown against a wall. All unconfirmed kills.

 

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

87. Coroner (Richard Gant) Eats Jason’s heart, dies and becomes possessed.

88. Coroner’s Assistant (Dean Lorey) Autopsy probe in the back of the neck, face pushed through a metal grating.

89. FBI Agent #1 (Tony Ervolina) Pencil through his spinal cord.

90. FBI Agent #2 (Kane Hodder) Coroner’s fingers through his skull.

91. Alexis (Kathryn Atwood) Slashed up with a straight razor.

92. Deborah (Michelle Clunie) Stabbed through the back with a barbed wire spike, ripped in half.

93. Lou (Michael Silver) Head crushed.

94. Edna (Dian Georger) Head slammed in car door.

95. Josh (Andrew Bloch) Possessed by Jason, shot in head and impaled with poker, later melts away.

96. Diana (Erin Gray) Knife-sharpening pole in back.

97. Robert Campbell (Steven Culp) Possessed by Jason, later shot in head, run over with car, impaled on a barbecue skewer.

98. Officer Ryan (Madelon Curtis) Head bashed against a locker.

99 & 100. Officer Mark (Mark Thompson) and Officer Brian (Brian Phelps) Heads bashed together.

101. Ward (Adam Cranner) Arm broken, falls dead through the diner doors.

102. Shelby (Leslie Jordan) Burned to death on a deep-fat fryer and grill.

103. Joey B. (Rusty Schwimmer) Face bashed in.

104. Vicki (Allison Smith) Impaled on a barbecue skewer, head crushed.

105. Randy (Kipp Marcus) Possessed by Jason, later his neck is severed with a machete.

106. Creighton Duke (Steven Williams) Crushed to death by Jason.

***All possessed murders were attributed to Jason, since it was his spirit that was the possessor.

 

Jason X

107. Private Johnson (Jeff Geddis) Possibly stabbing or strangulation. Off camera.

108. Soldier 1 (Unknown) Blow to Skull.

109. Soldier 2 (Unknown) Thrown into Friendly Fire.

110. Soldier 3 (Unknown) Blow to Skull.

111. Soldier 4 (Unknown) Strangulation.

112. Dr Wimmer (David Cronenberg) Speared.

113. Sergeant Marcus (Markus Parilo) Possibly stabbing. Off Camera.

114. Adrienne (Kristi Angus) Liquid nitrogen, head smashed.

115. Stony (Yani Gellman) Stabbing with surgical instrument.

116. Azrael (Dov Tiefenbach) Broken neck.

117. Dallas (Todd Farmer) Head smashed.

118.

119. Condor (Steve Lucescu) Impaled.

120. Gecko (Amanda Bragel) Throat slashed.

121. Briggs (Dylan Bierk) Cut in half.

122.

123.

124. Professor Lowe (Jonathan Potts) Decapitation.

125. Spacestation Solaris Unknown losses due to collision with Grendel

124. Crutch (Phillip Williams) Electrocution.

126. Kinsa (Melody Johnson) Shuttle crash.

127. Waylander (Derwin Jordan) Self detonation.

128. Janessa (Melyssa Ade) Space.

129. Sergeant Brodski (Peter Mensah) Atmospheric re-entry.

 

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

130. Heather (Odessa Munroe) Pinned to tree with machete through stomach.

131. Trey (Jesse Hutch) Impaled 10 times through back with machete, fold in half by bed.

132. Mr. Mueller (unknown) Decapitated with machete.

133. Blake Mueller(David Kopp) Hacked up with machete.

134. Gibb (Katharine Isabelle) Chest impaled with long pipe.

135. Frisell ‘Glowing Raver’ (Ken Kirzinger) Impaled through back with long pipe/thrown away.

136. Teammate (Colby Johannson) Head twisted.

137. Shack (Chris Gauthier) Flaming machete thrown through back.

138, 139, 140. Raver 1/2/3 (Unknown) Chests slashed with flaming machete

141. Raver 4 (Unknown) Stomach slashed with machete

142. Raver 5 (Unknown) Chest slashed with machete

143. Raver 6 (Unknown) Sliced with machete.

144. Mark Davis (Brendan Fletcher) Back set on fire, face slashed with bladed glove.

145. Security Guard (Tony Willett) Crushed by heavy door.

146. Deputy Stubbs (Lochlyn Munro) Electrocuted/thrown into console.

147. Freeburg (Kyle Labine) Possessed by “Freddypillar”, sliced in half with machete.

148. Charlie Linderman (Chris Marquette) Thrown/back impaled by self bracket/blood loss.

149. Kia Waterson (Kelly Rowland) Chest slashed/thrown into tree with machete.

150. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) Arm ripped off/bladed glove through back, decapitated with machete.

 

Friday the 13th (2009)

151. Wade (Jonathan Sadowski) Head/ear slashed off with machete.

152. Amanda (America Olivo) Trapped in sleeping bag, hung upside down from tree over campfire/burned alive.

153. Mike (Nick Mennell) Foot/leg slashed/impaled through hand with machete under floorboards, pulled underground.

154. Richie (Ben Feldman) Leg caught by bear trap, head sliced down with machete.

155. Donnie (Kyle Davis) Throat slit with machete.

156. Nolan (Ryan Hansen) Shot in back of head through forehead with arrow while driving boat.

157. Chelsea (Willa Ford) Stabbed in head through dock with machete.

158. Chewie (Aaron Yoo) Screwdriver in throat.

159. Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta) Axe thrown into back/forced through.

160. Bree (Julianna Guill) Impaled through back on mounted deer head’s antlers, thrown through 2nd window/lands on car.

161. Officer Bracke (Richard Burgi) Impaled to door with fireplace poker through eye.

162. Trent (Travis Van Winkle) Lifted/impaled through back with machete, impaled through back on spike on back of truck.

163. Jenna (Danielle Panabaker) Impaled through back with machete.

 

This report only reports actually death caused by Jason Voorhees or by the people he possessed. All other murders not committed by Jason Voorhees are not part of this report.

By the sole power invested in me by this office this is a complete listing of Jason Voorhees victims to date 05/26/45. His whereabouts are unknown and any further killings attributed to Voorhees will become part of this report.

Quincy, M.E

 

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‘Thirty years ago, a small horror film gave birth to 11 sequels, an endless body count and one of the most terrifying icons in horror history. Gore FX legend Tom Savini is your host for the ultimate documentary on everybody’s favourite hockey-masked momma’s boy and his three decades of cinematic carnage, featuring classic clips from the Friday The 13th movies, rare behind-the-scenes photos and footage, and over 80 interviews with filmmakers, actors, stuntmen, FX artists, journalists and fans. His Name Was Jason… and this is his legacy.’ — collaged

 

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Friday the 13th was primarily a product aimed to get people’s attention, scare people, surprise people, make people talk about it and make money. It’s very simple and straight forward. The whole project started with Sean Cunningham – after the success of Halloween – coming up with a title and marketing it very passionately! “I was playing around with the titles. And one of the titles just came into my head at the time was Friday the 13th. And out of frustration I said “Friday the 13th! Christ! If I had a picture called Friday the 13th, I could sell that! … We took this ad in Variety that said “Friday the 13th the most terrifying movie ever made‟. It was in great big block letters crashing through a mirror.” It was an attempt of capitalising on the famous Christian superstition surrounding the events of Knights Templar and the unlucky Friday the 13th; paraskavedekatriaphobia (the phobia of Friday the 13th) – a form of Triskaidekaphobia (the phobia of number 13).

‘Victor Miller comments on how they tried to structure a horror film now which would live up to their ad in Variety: “I went to school basically on the movie Halloween, saw it once figured out what a good horror film would need. … First of all, you have to start with a prior evil. Something happened a long time ago that was really bad. Then you have to have a group of adolescents or slightly close to adolescents who are in an environment in which they can not be helped by adults. The other thing I learned from Halloween, if you make love you get killed. So I had to figure out a way to do that.”

‘When Miller and Cunningham structured their “product”, they had come up with mainly two exploitation notions; a deliberate simplicity in the story and a passionately graphic depiction of gore. The simplicity of the story put the focus on the gore – the killings, and the gore in the killings became the center of attention as it never did in a major Hollywood film ever. Friday the 13th was not a major horror film; it was independently produced low-budget exploitation. However things took a controversial and post-modernistic turn when a major Hollywood distributor, Paramount, gave the film a nation-wide opening. “…the controversy that surrounded the film arose because it was distributed by a major studio rather than one of the usual exploitation outfits.” What Paramount did created a very post-modernistic turn of events because it was the ultimate introduction of the “low culture”, to the popular culture. That’s why the film’s effect on the society – who was exposed to this “low culture gore” for the first time – was intense; “The film takes the nascent community, the one we have assumed through years of similar cinematic experiences must of necessity prevail, and crushes it.”

‘Tom Savini describes the killings as fireworks. He says: “When you watch fireworks, you got the one… you wait for the next one you know. Same thing with Friday the 13th; Fireworks was; ok, she dies with an axe on her head, this gets cleaved with a machete, this gets his eyeball… It became like fireworks. It’s like one effect after the other. But in this case, it’s one gory death after the other. I don’t think they were really into “that’s a horrible way to die… most like “yeay what a great way to die… you know what I’m saying.” It is most accurate to state the fact that Jason is the co-star or the presenter of “the slasher fireworks”.

‘Jason fits most suitably to the “automatism” category under “The Uncanny”; “Automatism can be used when what is human is perceived as merely mechanical: examples of this would be sleepwalking, epileptic fits, trance-states and madness.” Jason Voorhees seems to be the mute evil personification of automatism. Jason gained the “monster” and “supernatural” and “comic-book-like” almost simultaneously. It is this pulp ambience that gave Friday the 13th films even more enfranchisement. “The emphasis in these films is on the body as a package, which can be opened. What we find fills us with awe and horror. Death both repels and rouses, and monster films exploit the ambiguities of repulsion and curiosity. The genre is repetitive precisely because death and malformation have to be presented in rigid conventions, or disgust would overwhelm curiosity.”

‘Jason Voorhees turned the tables as exploiting the sympathy for the monster. Very few films “have totally unsympathetic monsters. In many, the monster is clearly the emotional centre, and much more human than the cardboard representatives of normality.” Jason is not human at any level. The truth is, there are not many levels to Jason‟s personality; he just kills and kills and kills… in a “cool” way. It is this pure “cool” Jason monster is based upon. A menacing killer described as pure cool and pure evil has never been as blunt and successful as Jason Voorhees. Friday the 13th franchise “repackaged the underground appeal genuinely edgy horror offerings into a saleable multiplex-friendly fodder”.’ — Can M. Evrenol, Friday the 13th franchise: The myth of Jason Voorhees

 

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The Franchise (1980 – ?)

 

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Sean S. Cunningham Friday the 13th (1980)

Friday the 13th received negative reviews from critics upon its initial release, but has since gained a significant cult following. Rotten Tomatoes reports that 59% of critics gave the film a positive review, based on 49 reviews. Its most vocal detractor was Gene Siskel, who in his review called Cunningham “one of the most despicable creatures ever to infest the movie business”. He also published the address for Charles Bluhdorn, the chairman of the board of Gulf+Western, which owned Paramount, as well as Betsy Palmer’s home city and encouraged fellow detractors to write to them and express their contempt for the film.’ — collaged



“He’s still there”: Friday the 13th (1980)

 

Steve Miner Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

‘Steve Daskawisz, who played Jason, was rushed to the emergency room when Amy Steel hit his middle finger with a machete during filming. Steel explained: “The timing was wrong, and he didn’t turn his pick axe properly, and the machete hit his finger.” Daskawisz received 13 stitches on his middle finger. It was covered with a piece of rubber, and Daskawisz and Steel insisted on doing the scene all over again. In one scene where Daskawisz was wearing the burlap flour sack, part of the flour sack was flapping at his eye, so the crew used tape inside the eye area to prevent it from flapping. Daskawisz received rug burns around his eye from the tape from wearing the rough flour sack material for hours.’ — collaged



“Jeff and Sandra Uncut Impale”: Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)

 

Steve Miner Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

‘I came to the conclusion that the film was sorta kinda not terrible, that it might even be good and well-shot in a few places, and that maybe just maybe it justified the notoriety of the whole franchise. Well, I hope you all enjoyed that brief renaissance of quality, because Part 3 is a deeply stupid movie. “Does that mean that the first two films weren’t stupid?” No, my dears, that means that Friday the 13th, Part 3 is so appallingly, overwhelmingly stupid, it is stupid even by the standards of the Friday the 13th franchise.’ — Antagony & Ecstacy



“Vera’s Spear Death”: Friday the 13th, Part III (1982)

 

Joseph Zito Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

‘It works oddly well, almost like a John Hughes movie that got lost and wandered into slasher territory. The cast and characters are above average and even likeable, and their little teenage dramas actually captivate to some degree. The Final Chapter does actually end with the death of Jason, but the film’s success secured the release of a fifth film less than one year later.’ — Combustible Celluloid



“Deleted Deaths”: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

 

Danny Steinmann Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

‘This is not a fun stupid movie. This is a stupid movie that makes me want to claw my skin off. Why would Roy pretend to be Jason Voorhees? Doesn’t matter. Why would he kill eighteen people to avenge his son, including such spear-carriers as the drifter or Pete and Vinnie? Doesn’t matter. But my God, there’s only so much “doesn’t matter” you can take in a single film, and there’s something about the way that extras keep revolving into the film just to be cut down that’s infinitely more frustrating than just watching the platter of teenagers get picked off in the earlier films.’ — Antagony & Ecstacy



“Violet’s Death”: Friday The 13th, Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

 

Tom McLoughlin Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Jason Lives would become notable for being the only film in the franchise to contain no nudity; the characters in the film’s sole sex scene are both fully clothed, a conscious move on McLoughlin’s part to distance the series from the notion that the Friday the 13th films were morality tales in which premarital sex was punished by death. Director McLoughlin was pressured by the film’s producers to have Darcy Demoss remove her shirt during the RV sex scene, but he only suggested the idea to Demoss, who refused.’ — collaged



“Slash Scenes”: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

 

John Carl Buechler Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

‘Several explicit scenes of gore were cut in order to avoid an X rating, including: Maddy’s death, who originally had a sickle jammed through her neck; Ben’s death, which showed Jason crushing his head into a bloody pulp; Kate’s death, which showed Jason ramming her in the eye with a party horn; the VHS and DVD versions only show a full view of Jason as he aims towards her face, but quickly cuts to another scene before revealing the blood and gore gushing from her eye; we see Eddie’s head hit the floor; a shot of Russell’s face splitting open with a large blood spurt; Dan’s original death had Jason ripping out his guts; Amanda Shepard’s death originally showed Jason stabbing her from behind, with the resulting blade going through her chest and subsequent blood hitting Dr. Crews; Dr. Crews’s death showed Jason’s tree-trimming saw violently cutting into his stomach, sending a fountain of blood and guts in the air; Melissa’s original death had Jason cleaving her head in half with an axe with a close-up of her eyes still wriggling in their sockets.’ — collaged



“Movie Mistakes”: Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

 

Rob Hedden Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

‘On his commentary track for the film in the box set, director Rob Hedden acknowledges the faults and even agrees that more of the film should have been set in Manhattan, citing budgetary and schedule problems. The film failed to generate a substantial amount of money at the box office, which continued the decline in grosses the series had been suffering, and Paramount sold the franchise to New Line Cinema soon afterward (they would later distribute the 2009 reboot together). Rotten Tomatoes details that only 9% of the critics who reviewed the film gave it positive reviews, making it the poorest-received film of the series. It holds an average score of 3.9/10. Entertainment Weekly labeled it the eighth-worst sequel ever made.’ — collaged



“Head Punch Kill”: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

 

Adam Marcus Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

‘I got angry with Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan for suggesting Jason would be in New York and then not putting him there until an hour into the movie. So we won’t even talk about Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, where Jason doesn’t actually go to hell until two minutes before the movie ends. I suspect a film all about Jason in hell would not be very interesting, as he would be lackluster indeed when surrounded by luminaries such as Hitler and Disney.’ — Eric D. Snider



“Tent Scene”: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

 

James Isaac Jason X (2001)

‘Rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. Jason X sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought. The characters follow the usual rules from Camp Crystal Lake, which require the crew members to split up, go down dark corridors by themselves, and call out each other’s names with the sickening certainty that they will not reply. Characters are skewered on giant screws, cut in half, punctured by swords, get their heads torn off, and worse.’ — Roger Ebert



“Frozen Head Smash Kill”: Jason X (2001)

 

Ronny Yu Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

‘Parents need to know that this movie contains lots of nudity and some sex, lots of foul language, and characters who drink and do drugs. There is also an ambiguous date rape and a brief racial slur towards the only black character in the entire movie. People are gutted, stabbed, impaled, torn apart, sliced open, burned, crushed, and killed in just about any way that produces lots of gushing blood. But if it’s any consolation to parents, all the kids who engage in stupid behavior pay for it pretty heavily.’ — Common Sense Media



“Jason Deaths”: Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

 

Marcus Nispel Friday the 13th (2009)

‘Five nauseating 20-somethings head out to Camp Crystal Lake to guzzle Pabst Blue Ribbon and have loud tent sex, but Jason roasts one of them like a weenie and says howdy to everyone else with the business edge of his trusty machete. And that’s just the intro! After that, a fresh batch of kids get systematically slaughtered, but in even less inventive ways, and with few accompanying scares.’ — Ear of Newt



“Trent’s Scream and Death”: Friday the 13th (2009)

 

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p.s. Hey. ** Steevee, Hi. That’s very bad news about Keyframe’s demise, for you very obviously, but in general. I read Keyframe a lot, and it’s been very helpful re: making the film posts here. Ugh. Here’s very hoping the Voice knows what’s good for them. ** Bill, Hi. Beautiful days are weirdly curative. That’s one of those rare generalizations that has some truth about it. Very happy the Julien post was a pleasure. Yeah, I liked his early films, but I think the video work he has been doing in recent years is much more interesting. I think maybe narrative wasn’t his real strength, I don’t know? ** Dóra Grőber, Hi! I did, and please do! Very happy to hear your dog is back to being untroubled and sprightly. ‘Nice progress’: I like those words. And ‘book’ is a great word too, especially when it’s your book. Yesterday I worked and stuff. The weather kept veering around from sunny and warm to raining and even a hail storm at one point, all without any seeming logic. That was exciting. As I think I’ve mentioned, whenever Zac goes away on a trip or returns from one, I always give him a bag of treats to either eat on the plane/train or to celebrate his return, and he flew to California this morning, so I zigzagged around Paris yesterday gathering the most interesting/surprising chocolates and pastries I could find then delivered them to his place. That was fun. The most interesting one I found was this pastry at one patisserie that is an homage to to the 1968 student revolution in Paris. The pastry uncannily resembles one of the carved street stones (pavés) that the students pulled up and threw at the police, and it weighs as much as an actual pavé. Oh, wait I can probably find a photo. Here. Also, I think the devil is going to win because when I got to Zac’s, he had a Nintendo Switch he’d just bought, and he is playing ‘Zelda’, and after hearing him rave about it, I don’t think I can hold off anymore. Oh well. And the track pad on my laptop has been going bad and becoming more and more difficult to use to the point where my thumb has a big callous on it from pressing down so hard, and I was going to try to get it fixed for replaced yesterday, but (boring story) I didn’t, so now I have to wait until Monday and keep pretending I’m Hercules until then. That was my day. Now you have the weekend ahead of you, as do I. What happened during yours? Have an amazing one. ** Alistair, Hi, Alistair! Ah, you know what the new one will be and you’ve got raw material. Good. That’s plenty, I think. Yeah, the voice, the all-important part (to me, anyway). You can’t rush that. I’m thrilled that you’re on to the next novel. No, ha ha, I’m very impatient and very antsy to start editing ‘PGL’. I’m even dreaming about that. But it’s only a little over a week before we start, so I’ll survive. No, the SY song wasn’t an inspiration. There was a song called ‘Permanent Green Light’ in the … 60s, I think, and a short lived band with that name too in the 90s. But neither of them are inspirations either, I just really love that title, and it suits our film like a great, weird glove, I think. Now I want to spin that MSP album again. I haven’t in a while. Yeah, it’s awesome. Have a superb weekend out there in fair, fair LA! ** H, Hi. Well, my pleasure, of course. That work and personal refocusing are important, obviously, so no problem at all. And thank you very much about the dedication. My experience with Proust is so limited and borderline zero that I don’t even know what Proustian entails, so I’ll never know. Bon weekend! ** Okay. Quiet around here yesterday. Anyway, I really can’t explain why I decided to do a post about the ‘Ft13’ franchise since it’s almost for sure the crappiest of the classic horror movie franchises, but I did. That’s all there is to it, I guess. See you on Monday.

17 Comments

  1. As a teenage horror fan in the ’80s, I really hated the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise, as I felt like it played into the hands of people who thought all horror films were gratuitous gorefests about killing off teenagers who had sex. I would later see Mario Bava’s BAY OF BLOOD, which is the template for the series but done with far more artistry.

    Anyone else heard the Harry Styles album? Sypha? Misa? It’s perfectly pleasant, but nothing leaps out the way “Sign of the Times” did or comes up with an inventive set of influences. Maybe the songs will grow on me with further listens.

    • steevee, I’ve listened to most of the songs on there. Buying the CD today. I like it. I agree that none of the other songs is quite the song that “Sign of the Times” is. But there are some I really like, like “Ever Since New York,” “From the Dining Table,” and “Sweet Creature.” I’ll be giving the whole thing a listen over the coming days, so we’ll see what happens re: my liking it more or less.

  2. As a teenage horror fan in the 80s, I hated the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise. I thought it played into the hands of people who thought all horror films were sexist borefests (see Gene Siskel’s reaction.) When I learned more about the genre’s history, I would realize it was a ripoff of Mario Bava’s BAY OF BLOOD, which doesn’t feature a Jason-like monster but features similar murders done with more artistry.

  3. FUN FACT: Betsey Palmer — the original ACTUAL “Jason” — was one of the few women James Dean had sex with.

  4. Dennis, My mom, who finds horror movies funny and ridiculous, only finds one scene of any of them actually scary: that last scene in the first “Friday the 13th” when Jason pops out of the water after that girl on the boat. I’ve always found that interesting.

    And speaking of Harry Styles, I read an interview with him the other day, and what I found really interesting is that a lot of what he had to say about writing songs for this new album of his really jibes with things you’ve said in the past about writing in general. Basically, he was saying that this album and the writing he did for it was all about taking off the shackles of expectations and really getting raw and honest and putting it out there. Reminded me of the advice you once gave when you said that you sit down to write and there’s no one looking over your shoulder, there’s no one there to pass judgment, you just put everything into without thought of consequence. His remarks were very much along the same lines.

    Vultures are interesting. I talked to a friend at work who’s really into nature and stuff and surprisingly up on vultures. Seems that most are monogamous and stay with their mate until they die. Also, they’ll kind of pick an area and stick to it, keep coming back to it.

    In Maryland, we have lots of vultures and bald eagles and other types of birds of prey. Where I live, we have the Potomac on one side and the Patuxent and Chesapeake Bay on the other, perfect areas for these types of birds.

    About 13 years ago -LPS was 3- we had a bald eagle in a tree in our backyard tearing the fuck out of a squirrel in its talons. LPS wouldn’t go in the backyard for over a week, hahaha.

    I used to see the bald eagles and vultures a lot when I worked in Calvert County, about 20 miles away.

    It’s funny, I forgot the part of the story where my first reaction upon seeing this vulture in our backyard was, “Somebody’s gonna die in this house tonight.” That was the first thing I said to my mom. I figured, like you, that the dude was “circling.” Guess not, everyone’s still alive. Though my mom thinks our next door neighbor killed his girlfriend because she hasn’t seen her in a few weeks. (Last time she thought that, the woman had been out in Washington state visiting her daughter and grandkids, hehehe. It can never be that someone’s on vacation for my mom; it’s always gotta be something nefarious! :P)

  5. Dennis! Mon ami! How are you? Many apologies for not saying hi for a while. I’ve still being following the blog, but just not in a commenting place. There’s been lots of great days too – Cocaine day was a blast and I bought that Meghan Lamb book you featured the other day as a gift for Hannah after I saw her other book being compared to Anna Kavan. So, thanks! Of course, it takes a Friday the 13th day to actually pull me back to commenting! I love it so much. I agree that it might be a kind of crappy franchise, but there’s something absolutely delightful about it too. The first film is pretty great, especially that end scene that Misanthrope mentions above, and the 2nd movie has a character, who, upon being surprised by Jason, yells ‘FUCK OFF!!!’ at him, which I really liked and seems like something more characters in horror films should be shouting at the killer.
    So, how have you been? Sounds like the PGL shoot went very well? Tres bien. And soon to be editing. How exciting. Do you know what kind of release it’ll get, or is it too early to say? What else have you been up to? Hope life’s excellent.
    We got our cartoon back and it wasn’t so good…..think that might be what sent me off to the dumps, where I’ve been since I saw it! But we’re going to make more and there’s good lessons to be learned for us. And I bought a cheap Telecaster and have been making some music, which is good.
    I heard a band that I thought you might like the other day – on some website where Thurston Moore was choosing things he’s been enjoying.
    https://guttersnipe.bandcamp.com/track/stromatolites-miss
    Hope you like and hope you had a good weekend. I’m not going to be a stranger!
    Adventurous love,
    Jamie

  6. not one for luck or karma or any of that but fuck getting killed by jason vorhees is some shit. i loved these movies, the cute boys were a smooth homoeroticism, the naked ladies the edge of infantile sexual limits, and the killer well almost not there. vorhees was like a phantom or shadow albeit that could swing an axe. he made the machete the weapon par excellence of the 80s. a recent lover almost strangled me to death, amazing how easy it is to kill with brute force. writing my first story since moving and anxiously awaiting PGL xo

  7. 受教了!呵呵!

  8. Dóra Grőber

    May 14, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    Hi!

    Your habit of giving Zac treats whenever he goes on a trip or returns from one is so lovely. And wow, this pastry does look… interesting! I’d definitely try it; I’ve got a few ideas how it might taste but they are more like ideas in my mouth and not in my vocabulary, haha.
    Oh well, indeed! These tiny devils usually win or at least that’s my experience. If you finally let it, I hope Zelda lives up to your expectations!
    Haha, I laughed so much during this letter! Actually, my laptop’s track pad is getting a bit shitty too so I sympathize. I do hope you can have it replaced tomorrow!

    My weekend turned out to be a bit more work-y than I thought but that’s okay. I had plenty of time to write yesterday but late afternoon the guy who leads the research (which I had to make the interviews for) sent me a long ass document (the “short” version of the results) and said that it has to be translated into English by Monday. It was a bit of a shock but we managed to talk it through and divide it into two more or less equal parts. That’s what I’ve been working on today, my part I mean. But now that I’m finished, just the usual reading and writing routine lies ahead of me.
    How was your weekend? I hope it was great!!

  9. Portugal wins Eurovision 2017

    “My Loose Thread” is completely Proustian

  10. I’ve only seen one or two of these. I remember attractive young people having sex and getting punished for it, ha.

    Everyone must have been out enjoying the good weather yesterday. They’ll catch up on Isaac Julien soon enough.

    Dennis, have you seen Weerasethakul’s Cemetery of Splendor? I spotted the DVD, but am concerned it needs a big screen. What do you think?

    Bill

  11. Schoolboyerrors

    May 14, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    Hey DC!

    Sorry I’ve been incommunicado, yknow how it is man. But I’ve been loving the blog recently and absolutely had to drop in and give you kudos. YES to the new Ron Padgett and Kevin Killian! I eavesdropped on your chat with KK btw, I hope you don’t mind (!) and guess what — I’m at the New Narrative conference too! Whoop.

    Otherwise, how are you doing man? Lots of film editing this summer it would seem? I’m planning a trip to Paris next month to hang with Bernie and hopefully check in with you: are you and Zac about June 19-22 ?

    w/love
    D xx

    • Hey Dennis, decided to check in here since I’ve been absent from most everything. Just reading the the words ‘Jason X’ make me happy ’cause I remember taking joy in how atrocious the thing was. I was in HS when it came out and I remember having a VHS viewing in a room with some people. Afterwards I think we held an annual viewing just in awe of its awfulness. So, in that way, it’s a great time…’We just took just Jason and put an X after that shit, you’ll watch it.’ and we did. We all watched it. I agree it’s the crappiest of the classics, even the ones that aren’t in space. There’s a woman at my job who has a Jason hockey mask hanging from her car mirror and absolutely loves the entire thing… I’ve never asked what the appeal is for her but maybe I’ll do that and get back to you. Speaking of people at my job, somebody asked my to curate a stack of books for her on grieving and similar feelings: God Jr. was in the pile in the company of Beware Of Pity, The Days Of Abandonment, and Am I A Redundant Human Being… and a few others which I forget. Hope all is at least acceptable.

  12. I’ve never seen a single one of the franchise, although I’m definitely a fan of this Alice Cooper theme from Part 6. And I did enjoy the GIFs and the coroner reports too.

    Sorry to report that I’ve not had a productive weekend. Tai Chi yesterday at the MS centre and I watched all 3.5 hours of Eurovision last night, which turned out kind of a damp squib this year in my opinion. Not really got started on any new project yet, whatever that may be, and I’ve been between projects since I was in Stuttgart. I dunno, Alex my former YNY colleague is moving back to Dundee this week so that could spark my creative mojo maybe.

  13. chris dankland

    May 15, 2017 at 4:54 am

    i once saw Jason X, the jason in space movie, while tripping really hard. the movie selection wasn’t mine, a friend thought that it would be a funny movie to watch. but like 75% of my brain had gotten peeled away by the drugs, and the emotionally fragile remnants got kind of freaked out by jason, haha

    in my head i was like ‘jason is a metaphor for the TRUE nature of EVIL!’ which makes me laugh so hard now. but even despite that there’s still a little lingering bit of that train of thought when i think of jason. the idea of jason was scary to me because he was like a stand-in for inexhaustible pain and suffering. there’s no point at which the feeling of pain gets satiated and backs off, it just want to mindlessly consume everything

    but jason is probably the least scary most corny movie monster of all time…and jason is space is…lol, it’s jason in space.

    anyway that’s my Friday the 13th story — i liked the list of murdered teens and i like that somebody took the time to compile it, thanks for resurrecting that jason in space memory for me

    what a stupid pick for a movie to watch on bath salts

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